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The Identity Shift That Changes Everything
86 Plays6 days ago
If you’ve ever wondered why your life hasn’t changed yet — even though you want it so badly — this episode finally reveals what’s been missing.
As we move into a brand-new year, we explore the real reason your reality looks the way it does. Spoiler: it’s not your habits, your discipline, or your timing. It’s your self-concept — the identity you keep returning to.
In this transformative episode, Heather breaks down how identity shapes your outcomes, your opportunities, and even what you believe is possible for you. Together, we unpack:
- Why your desires aren’t random — they’re assigned to you
- Why vision boards won’t work without identity shifts
- How your brain filters reality through the lens of who you believe you are
- How fear, doubt, and your circle quietly reprogram your self-worth
- Why you can’t manifest a new life with the same old identity
You’ll also hear why the world is not oversaturated (your algorithm is lying to you), and how every micro-decision is a “vote” for the identity you’re becoming. If you’re stuck in discomfort or doubt, this episode shows you why that’s not failure — it’s the beginning of transformation.
If you’re ready to stop hiding, stop shrinking, and step fully into the life you feel calling you — this episode is your permission slip.
You weren’t given your dreams by accident.
This is the moment everything begins to shift.
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe, follow, share it with a friend, and rate the podcast five stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
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- 📧 Email: heather@wanderingthewildmess.com
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Transcript
Intro
Introduction and Theme
00:00:36
Speaker
The wildest part about growth is that nothing changes until you do. Welcome to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. I am so happy you're here.
00:00:53
Speaker
And since we're coming up to the end of the year and it's all that new, new year, new me, you, whatever, new year resolution, um becoming the person you've always wanted it to be and it feels like the fresh start time of the year, I felt like this would be a perfect episode to kind of go into a little bit more in depth about something near and dear to my heart. which
The Science of Manifestation
00:01:18
Speaker
is self-concept, and then throw in something else that I very much sometimes plug in the pod is the idea of manifestation and the neuroscience behind it and kind of just a little talk you guys through a little bit more.
00:01:35
Speaker
And don't let that turn you off because I'm going to make it make sense with science-backed information. um It's just been one of those passions of mine. And I think when people hear...
00:01:47
Speaker
manifestation, they're kind of like, okay, whatever. But it's really a lot linked to self-concept. And i just got my stats back from my Spotify wrap for creators and my episode Becoming You, Why Self-Concept Changes Everything was my top episode. So I feel like that is screaming loudly at me that this is a topic that y'all want to hear. And
Belief and Self-Concept
00:02:13
Speaker
so I thought I would give you more of what you wanted. and I get questions about manifestation all the time. And so I thought throwing it in together ah with
00:02:23
Speaker
the truth of the matter is that it really is your self-concept that allows for so much of your um desired manifestations. And I say that because we're always manifesting, right? That's just like creation, things manifest.
00:02:40
Speaker
But things that you prefer consciously manifest when you become the person in which can receive those things.
00:02:52
Speaker
And I'll give you a little, bring it all together. And I want so you can kind of think of why that is to be. And when there's something that you want in your life and it feels so far from what you currently have or how your life currently looks, you really have to be able to see that as possible for you for it to even become.
00:03:23
Speaker
Right? Like it has to be something that you truly see is, can even happen. Like if you if you think that, oh, that'd be great, but it could never be me.
00:03:37
Speaker
And I've talked about this before, then you're right. Because you're not even allowing yourself to like, you're not even putting your name in that hat. Because you're already deciding that that's not for you. So if you think about that way, how we move through things, then you realize that yes,
00:03:54
Speaker
My self-concept does dictate what happens in my life. The same reason whether you do or don't apply for a job. I'm not qualified enough. So you don't even do it. Because your self-concept dictates the actions that you take. Because you're taking those actions based on the person that you believe you are.
00:04:13
Speaker
And I want you to think about that when you're thinking about New Year's resolutions, which I thought would be great because so many times people are making vision boards or setting up you know what they want for their new life and deciding, okay, this is the year I'm gonna eat better, go to the gym, you know throw up a vision board with ah the big house they've always wanted, all of those things. But none of those can manifest that.
00:04:40
Speaker
If you don't even believe that you're someone that could have them, that it doesn't seem in the realm of possibilities for you, that you don't feel like you're worthy of. There's
The Power of Affirmations
00:04:51
Speaker
a lot that comes into self-concept that I wanted to kind of talk about um and how your identity is the reason that your life looks the way it does.
00:05:05
Speaker
And i know earlier during this journey, I have was big in affirmation cards like i before I even got down this whole like path of manifestation, just when I was in my low point with my divorce and I just needed some positivity. And so I'm reading affirmations. And the crazy thing is, is like that's kind of a starting point. That's like dipping your toes in the water. But the repetition of something often can give you the feeling of belief.
00:05:32
Speaker
And that's a good piece. But if you're just writing down like, I'm a millionaire, I'm a millionaire, I'm a millionaire, like that's helpful, I guess, like because you're at least forward thinking about it continuously. But if you don't ultimately believe and you do not take the actions from which a person that was or is a millionaire, let's say for an easy example, then that can't manifest because And so it's crazy sometimes when I've went down this journey and I've studied it so, so very much to understand how our brain really filters out things that we anticipate to see, that we expect to see. I mean, think about it this way.
00:06:19
Speaker
If you're less familiar with it, think about how many times you reiterate the story that you believe to be true about yourself. Right. So let's say you're like, oh, there's no parking spots. And you're like, of course, I never get a spot. Or of course they were late. Or of course this. And you're like, of coursing and reinforcing that things don't work out for you.
00:06:41
Speaker
You continually, when your belief about yourself is that nothing ever works out for me, that's your identity. You are a
Identity and Habit Change
00:06:51
Speaker
person that nothing ever works out for.
00:06:54
Speaker
And so... You continue to see through the lens of nothing works out for me because your RAS, your reticular activating system in your brain is filtering for what you believe to be true because it's not really seeing everything, right? That's why we all see through different lenses and I won't go down that whole path. But your expectation is, oh, it's not going to work out for me.
00:07:16
Speaker
And then even when it does, right, because things still happen, there's free will, things happen, you know, whatever, you're kind of like, oh, well, that was rare, that that's a rare win, you know, almost like that. And that's why the happiest people and and what I would call success in as far as, you know, and this isn't just an abundance and wealth thing, they're they're very unlikely to complain, right?
00:07:44
Speaker
Because that is them just reinforcing what they don't want about their life. And that is embodying the identity of someone who's ungrateful, someone who has problems, someone who has issues all the time. And it's not that you can't feel hard things as someone who's saying like, I am worthy and deserving of all these things. You can still be like, okay, well, I didn't prefer that.
00:08:11
Speaker
But that's not going to define my path. That's not going to change my belief about myself because I didn't see exactly what I expected. And I think when you can do that with yourself and your identity, your self-concept is just, it works out for me.
00:08:33
Speaker
This is who I am. And you start moving through the world like that person.
00:08:40
Speaker
That's how it's like new year, new you.
00:08:44
Speaker
Because when you just create, when you just try to say, I'm going to change these habits, but you don't change your identity, it won't stick.
00:08:57
Speaker
Because you don't see yourself as the person that continually does those things. You want, so this is kind of where I'll i'll tie in manifestation.
00:09:08
Speaker
You want the big house on the water. but you can't even see a version of yourself that could even buy ah house without a view.
00:09:23
Speaker
So how do you get that person there and that manifestation to come true if you truly can't even believe you could be a homeowner? Oh, it can't happen for me.
00:09:35
Speaker
And the crazy paradox about it is that you don't have to know the how of, okay, how am I going to go from this person that believes I can't even be a homeowner to somebody that's owning house with a lake view?
00:09:50
Speaker
how How would that happen? And if you sit in that lo loop and try to solve for the how, then you just won't because you're not going to figure likely figure that out.
00:10:01
Speaker
But when you anchor that you don't need to know, that that is just the reality in which you prefer about yourself, and I know you're, I'm just, hear me out, then hold that vision.
00:10:14
Speaker
Hold that vision. doesn't mean
Goal Setting and Self-Reflection
00:10:15
Speaker
tomorrow. There's always lag and everything. and And so it doesn't mean like, oh, it manifests magically tomorrow. But you can't even get close to that being a reality without the belief changing that that's you're the kind of person that that would happen to, that you are that kind of person.
00:10:36
Speaker
And that's what I want to remind you this year as you're going into what do I really want next year to look like? Because I feel like this is a big self-reflection time. We're always going into like, what do I want? And I know in that self-concept episode, I really talked about like planning out your perfect day, planning out what you want, what's the ideal version of you.
00:10:59
Speaker
And I want to bring that back to the forefront and go back and listen to that episode as well. But also I want to remind you that is kind of how you work through changing your identity to have the things you want. Because anything that you desire to manifest in your life, it's really the emotion that you want to feel having that thing.
00:11:23
Speaker
So I'll just say you want a ah purse. You're like like, let's just do material. um And it's someone that's like, I want this nice watch or this nice purse, and men and women. You want a Rolex, you want a Louis Vuitton, whatever it is.
00:11:36
Speaker
It's not necessarily because you desire that you want to manifest that particular thing. Yeah, you could want it But what you're really craving is the feeling of the identity that you would be perceived as or that you would feel as having that thing.
00:11:54
Speaker
So if you're like, I am a woman who walks around with a Louis Vuitton. I am a man who has a Rolex watch. That person has a different identity likely than you you may have today.
00:12:10
Speaker
You know that because you don't have that thing, right? So once
Overcoming Doubts and Limiting Beliefs
00:12:15
Speaker
you outline the things that you want to manifest in your life, let's say you did a whole list. Let's take this. Take a paper or or notes app or pause, whatever. but and And write down, because I know a lot of people say like all of these things that they want. Maybe they want to lose weight. Maybe I want to get this new promotion. Maybe I want this, this, and this. All the things you want for yourself for next year.
00:12:39
Speaker
All your goals.
00:12:42
Speaker
And then on the other side, what part of who I am today, ask this question for each of the items, what part of who I am today may be preventing me or limiting me from reaching that goal?
00:13:04
Speaker
what um What are the beliefs that are getting in the way? What are the actions that I'm taking or not taking to get that thing?
00:13:14
Speaker
Think about it like this. If it's it's to lose weight, right? And you're you're going to eat the same and you're going to maybe go to the gym for a little bit. If you... What would the person that has the weight goal that you want, what would they be eating every day? What would they be thinking every day about themselves? Would they be quitting because they didn't see results right away? Would they do that?
00:13:33
Speaker
Is that kind of the people that are that are at that level that you could see that have the the the life you want, whatever it is, are they doing those things? It doesn't mean you can't ever mess up and have it a day off day, right? It's not like be so stringent because those people have those days too. But it still takes time.
00:13:52
Speaker
consistency in the identity claiming of whoever you want to become.
00:14:00
Speaker
And i I feel so called to talk about this more, not just because new year, new me, but I feel like there's so many people that I meet that are truly in this loop. Like it's just, it couldn't be for me.
00:14:15
Speaker
And it's like, if you want it, yes, it can. Because you wouldn't have it in your heart if it wasn't meant for you.
00:14:27
Speaker
You just wouldn't. Because there's a million thoughts that people have every day. Someone right now is thinking, I want to be a UFC fighter. That thought has never crossed my mind ever Because we're all given different thoughts and and desires and purposes on this journey. And so if one lands with you, and this isn't act on every thought, but if something feels so called to you, then it's meant for you. Those goals that you write you're writing down on the one side of all the things that you want for next year, trust me that if they're really just in your heart,
00:15:05
Speaker
like very unlikely that Joe Smough down the street is going to have the same goals. There might be some high level thing, you know, some things, but if you get really specific about what you want your life to look like, it's not going to really look like anybody else's.
00:15:24
Speaker
And I have to remind myself sometimes because you also just like algorithm and that's how the world works. Sometimes you see a whole bunch of people in your own lane and you're like, everyone's doing this.
00:15:35
Speaker
You know, I could be like, everyone has a podcast, but it's like my friends back home, I don't even know, none of them even know anybody that has a pod, nobody has a podcast. So I'm not, just because I'm watching this little tiny view of my own and the algorithm is feeding me what I am, you know, putting out to the world.
00:15:52
Speaker
This is just a small sliver. We think it's so saturated when at the end of the day, nothing is too saturated if that's what you want. If you're going after something that feels like these are the goals I want,
00:16:06
Speaker
saying, oh, well, everyone wants it, it's not for me. Like, there is an abundance of opportunities in this world. But sometimes, fear, doubt, and that's why I've talked about before, your circle matters.
00:16:23
Speaker
You cannot be told that that could never happen for you to yourself. If you're telling yourself that daily, that is rough to ever get out of. that We're gonna stop that right now, I'm telling you.
00:16:35
Speaker
But if you're hearing it from people in your circle and you're trying to to really embody it, it might be time in the new year to reevaluate your circle.
00:16:47
Speaker
Because think about your thoughts like a sponge, like as they absorb, even if you don't want to take them in there, that energy is coming into you and it's impacting who you think you can be.
00:17:03
Speaker
And even if you, I had a discussion today um in my in my corporate role and there are some things like i literally was like, when you are told something repetitively, sometimes you start to believe it.
00:17:23
Speaker
Even if you don't. And you cannot sit in that same space because it will ah you will eventually start to believe it. And that's why they say like quiet the noise and a lot of people before they really like do anything out of the box, they have to kind of isolate because you have to quiet the noise.
00:17:45
Speaker
And some people aren't even intentionally trying to doubt you. They're not even doubting you. I've said this before. They're doubting their own self. They don't see it as possible for them. And so they're like, sharing their beliefs with you and you're like no this ain't what I'm doing so that is why it's so important to just and when it's so funny because I know ah my friends will be like oh well you're like delusional how does that work and I don't even think it's delusional I think it's very realistic now the more that I get into it I think it's I think it's delusional to think that all things aren't possible
00:18:25
Speaker
I think it's wild to me that with all the things that have been created in this world, that someone created an airplane that flies in the sky and likely we're told that was delusional and then we're going on flights every day and yet we're still saying like, oh yeah, that thing you want to do could never happen. Like, bro, do you see? like what what we have, what the world looks like, and how quickly we can pivot and figure things out when we truly put our mind to it
00:18:56
Speaker
Something came up about how much shifted in 2020, you know, when all of the world was weird. And There was so much need to change, right? It just flipped everything. Like even in like, again, the corporate world, right? It's like no one was really working from home. And now it's like everybody and we just have to adapt. You will adapt always.
00:19:21
Speaker
That's what humans do. We adapt. But you have to be adaptable. You have to say, like, do can you imagine, like, every corporate company or every business, small business, just like COVID happened. They're like well, that's it. We can't do it. There's no way.
00:19:37
Speaker
Could never. We've never done it before. We've never seen it before. Let's all just close up shop and the whole economy break down. No, that doesn't happen because when you know that you can figure it out and make it work, you will.
00:19:50
Speaker
Humans have, humans has shown that time over time, but yet we continue to let people fear get in the way of what our potential is. And
Embracing Discomfort for Growth
00:20:00
Speaker
that fear is reiterating to our self-concept like, oh, you're you can't do that.
00:20:08
Speaker
And this is, i feel like this is going to be the year that so many people start going like, I'm ready to step into my power. I'm ready to not let myself play small just because.
00:20:26
Speaker
I'm willing to say this is what I want and I'm comfortable being uncomfortable moving in the direction of that life and what it looks like.
00:20:41
Speaker
And I think I've mentioned this before and like the biggest analogy and when I see a lot of like people that have really transformed their life, I feel like one of the big pieces is like let's say on a weight loss journey and it's less about like losing weight and it's about the discipline um that you find in yourself, right, to change habits such as how you eat every day and habits such as how frequently you go to the gym. Like if you're going couch to someone that's fit, like that's a totally different person lifestyle. And that's discipline. If you're doing it that way.
00:21:16
Speaker
and I feel like that is that level of discipline on your, like to yourself and be able to do that. Like that's kind of what it takes And so when they talk about the hard work, it's not like grind every minute.
00:21:33
Speaker
It's about claiming an identity that you don't yet see in the real world.
00:21:41
Speaker
It's anchoring into this is who I am before the world sees it.
00:21:50
Speaker
And then continually holding that vision of that is who you are day in and day out consistently before show it shows you the truth.
00:22:03
Speaker
And i I feel like working out, and the gym is a good example of that because you could go to the gym for you know two weeks straight and and not really see a huge, depending on where you're at, you could maybe not see ginormous change in comparatively to all the work that you did to change those the uncomfortability you felt in that initial two weeks of changing your habits.
00:22:29
Speaker
right And that's why it's easier to stop stop early because you aren't seeing results yet. So you're like, it's not working. And you're also just still uncomfortable. You haven't really made it a habit, a new habit. right You have habits now. And so you can't just say, I'm going to change the habit if you don't believe you're someone that can change your habits. I've always been this way.
00:22:54
Speaker
And so that's kind of where I wanted to sit with you. And I want to, um I think I touched on this, but I got like some few questions. um And, oh yes, this was a good example that I wanted to share. So in that list of who was the person, I love this idea of taking, so when you're doing your vision board, all the things you want or whatever your goals are for the next year, a lot of people do this, right? Goals, vision board, whatever.
00:23:24
Speaker
I think a really impactful way to think about New Year, New You is a vote. And i wrote this was in a book. I'm trying to think. I think it was Atomic Habits. But...
00:23:38
Speaker
It was every choice you make each day. And these are those micro decisions, right? So it's not always those big things. In those moments, those micro decisions you make, that is like a vote for which identity you want to be, the person you want to be. So you got here's you right now.
00:23:56
Speaker
And then you got where you want to be. little bit higher self, you can see. And then each decision you make day in and day out it's like a vote for which one. Do you want to be the one you've always been, the one you are now, the one, this one? Or do you want to be, what would this version of me do? And I do this often where I'm like, okay, in the making this decision, what would my higher self do? i use that term, right?
00:24:22
Speaker
And that's almost where you have to be from because then you're moving from the identity of that person. So it's not even about changing the habit. It's anchoring the identity in which you want to live.
00:24:38
Speaker
I want to have that thing. Say you want to be like a speaker and then you get you get an opportunity. to Someone says, you know what? We actually need a speaker. And then you like feel uncomfortable and you're like, I don't really want to do it. And then you make excuses and then you don't do it.
00:24:51
Speaker
Then you're making a decision from this person you are today. But if you think, gosh, I don't really feel ready to be a speaker, but I said I wanted to do this and my higher self knows I can do it. So I'm going to do it and say yes, even though it feels really scary and I'm not really ready.
00:25:04
Speaker
That's what you're going to do. You're going to make the decision from the identity in which you're embodying to have the life that you want.
00:25:17
Speaker
And
Journey to Success
00:25:18
Speaker
I'll kind of, before I wrap this up, and i I really want you to, and I'll probably look to like throw some things on wanderingthewildmess.com to kind of help with this.
00:25:29
Speaker
I have some free prompts prompts that I added that really help you kind of like see clearly because sometimes we're just blocked and we're not really seeing where we're already limiting ourself. It depends on where you are in the journey.
00:25:39
Speaker
But I want to tell you that I am not just giving you this info and saying like, do this and it's all going to happen tomorrow. It is a journey to embody a new version of yourself.
00:25:54
Speaker
Because through the process, and this has happened to me, it's like you, I mean, I listened to that episode about the self-concept and I was just like, all like da-da-da-da-da-da. And that, there was so much that has happened to kind of since i so I had that episode that it, you know, I felt like I was anchoring it then and I have had so much growth since.
00:26:16
Speaker
So I just want to remind you, like, give yourself grace. It is like a day in, day out choice to become the version of you that you want to be. and if you really want it, then you'll make it happen.
00:26:31
Speaker
But don't give yourself ever excuse not to even try just because you don't know how you'll get there and you just don't want to feel uncomfortable because flat newsflash that I think we all know, like i know they said like no one said life was easy, but it's also like no one said it was comfortable.
00:26:57
Speaker
No one said it was comfortable. And i think that all the time, like when i'm doing this path, I'm like, gosh, it would just be easier to just not do these things.
00:27:10
Speaker
And it just depends on, I think that's why they say anyone's super successful just has to really, really want it because you have to like push through the discomfort a number of times. Even when you think you're like at the peak, you're like, oh, there's still more mountain to go.
00:27:28
Speaker
And that's okay. You will get there. And like they say, the climb, it's part of it, right? That's part of the journey. And I think I said something, like I was in the shower and I was thinking, and this is like kind of silly, but I've been hiking. I love hiking, you know as you probably know. And sometimes people are just like, I'll see people on the trail or when I go and they're just like, oh, there's all that. Yeah, it was good, but there was bugs. It was hot. And then, and they're like, they think of it like that. It's like,
00:27:53
Speaker
I didn't even, those things didn't even, I didn't even notice that. I just thought it was such a beautiful time. And there's two ways you can climb that mountain. You can focus on the bugs and the heat and the pain of the incline, or you can be like, this is beautiful, and I get to keep climbing.
00:28:15
Speaker
And that's just a little reframe for you. um So yeah, I feel like this year to an all end is going to be a huge shift.
00:28:28
Speaker
And I know we probably always say that, oh, it's new year, but I really feel like this is the year that if you're ready to unlock that new thing for your life, buckle up.
00:28:43
Speaker
It's the time. We're done hiding ourselves, staying small. We're ready to just full send it on the life we want for ourselves because it's really not that serious.
00:28:55
Speaker
Your goals, like even as I speak on this, like i hope you know, like I'm not telling you how to live your life. You do whatever you want, but I want to see you live the version that you love.
00:29:09
Speaker
Nothing makes
Community and Inspiration
00:29:10
Speaker
me happier when people reach out to me and was like, I feel like I can do this now. I never thought that I could. Like it that reframes what I needed.
00:29:20
Speaker
That literally is part of the purpose here for me is to show you just like reality mirrors how you think about yourself. Sometimes when you hear someone else speak, it shows you something in you, ignites something in you that goes, oh, yeah.
00:29:38
Speaker
Yeah, that can be me. I can have those things. And that's exactly what i I'm here to tell you. You can. It's possible. Define what you want your life to look like.
00:29:53
Speaker
And the last thing I'll say, though, is that Sometimes we want things, but something better even comes. I'm sure you've seen like there's that, there's a thing of roses, what your plans are. And then there's a big patch of roses and it says God's plan and wherever your faith is, doesn't matter, but that's how universe source, whatever you want to call it, God, that's how it works.
00:30:15
Speaker
So when you come in going like, these are all the things I want, trust the timing, right? That's the piece no one talks about.
00:30:26
Speaker
Sometimes you feel like you're close and then something falls through. Don't go back to the bottom of the mountain. Trust that it's still meant for and it's going be better than that missed opportunity, that thing that didn't happen. None of that matters. Just hold the vision, keep climbing, and what's meant for you will find you.
00:30:45
Speaker
You're only job is to hold the vision of the identity of the person that has the life that you want. And don't get so specific about, i get specific but not so specific if that makes sense, right?
00:31:03
Speaker
Like get specific about some details but don't get disappointed if it doesn't look just exactly what you think because it will probably
Closing Remarks
00:31:11
Speaker
turn out 10 times better.
00:31:15
Speaker
So yay for the new year um coming up. I hope that you know how important you are to this world and 2026 is going to be your year. And I don't care if I would say that every year. This time, I mean it. I've always meant it. And you are so loved. So Make sure if you got anything from this episode, share it with someone. Give it a five-star rating.
00:31:38
Speaker
I would love that. Write a review. Reach out on Wandering the Wild Mess. Make sure that you're following my YouTube channel, social media, Heather D-Y-A-N-N, if you're not, um for all that fun.
00:31:53
Speaker
And yeah thank you so much for being here. This was Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. You matter.