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Walk Your Path, Don’t Run Someone Else’s
107 Plays14 days ago
Comparison is the quiet thief of joy, and this year, we are done letting it run the show.
In this episode, I talk about why feeling “behind” is an illusion created by comparison—especially in a world obsessed with timelines, numbers, and visibility. I share a personal moment that almost stopped me from recording, along with a metaphor about walking your own path instead of running someone else’s. This episode is for anyone who’s been questioning their pace, doubting their progress, or feeling overwhelmed by where others seem to be.
This episode is here to remind you that you are not late, not broken, and not failing. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. Our paths aren’t meant to look like anyone else’s.. and they never were.
This will give you all the confirmation you need to know: You are not behind, and someone else’s success does not take from yours! Just keep focusing on making the hands you were dealt a winning one!
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe, follow, share it with a friend, and rate the podcast five stars.
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Website: www.wanderingthewildmess.com
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Email: heather@wanderingthewildmess.com
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Transcript
The Impact of Comparison on Joy
00:00:36
Speaker
Have you ever felt so genuinely excited about something you were doing and where you were going and then suddenly you see someone else already has it?
00:00:53
Speaker
And that milestone, that thing, that house, that partner, that life, that goal has already been accomplished by someone else. And suddenly it makes you feel like what you're doing is not enough.
Pressure of Unachieved Goals
00:01:10
Speaker
Welcome to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. I am so happy you're here. Oh gee y'all, we are going to talk about it. We're going to talk about that thief of joy that is comparison because that is out for this new year. That is the one thing we are not doing anymore.
00:01:35
Speaker
And I want to talk about this because i know coming into the new year, oftentimes a lot of our goals are set up around things that we still feel like pressure to achieve that we thought we would do last year. And then they just keep getting handed down and handed down and handed down until we're literally, we feel overwhelmed with being behind.
Embracing Unique Journeys
00:01:59
Speaker
And I want to remind you of one key thing that is true before I get in to the topic of helping you reframe comparison is that you are not behind.
00:02:11
Speaker
You are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be. And where other people are on their path and journey is really none of your business, our business, my business, everything.
00:02:22
Speaker
It's just everyone is going down a different path, but it's so easy to feel behind when all you see is other people achieving things that you want to achieve.
Self-Doubt from Comparing Success
00:02:39
Speaker
So I want it tell you a little personal story about this very topic and of why I feel like it's so important to remind ourselves that comparison is doing nothing but distracting us from our own path and goals. And it's really just like spinning your wheels without moving. There's really no benefit to comparison.
00:03:06
Speaker
Because in the world now, even today, authenticity is such a buzzword. And it's very hard to be fully authentic when you're comparing and looking at what everyone else is doing and thinking that's what you have to do.
00:03:20
Speaker
And in a world where everyone is now looking, especially with like AI and different things, like a real authentic connection with people, comparison also serves even less of a purpose because no one wants a carbon copy of someone else's journey.
Career and Life Milestones
00:03:41
Speaker
Everyone's realizing we're all on ah our own, but sometimes we can get so in our heads about it. And this, I'm going to tell you honest story, y'all, because when we think about comparison, and I have so many of my friends that do it, I think with...
00:03:57
Speaker
You know, it's easy, like in my career early climbing the corporate ladder, I'm like, oh, I should have a promotion by now. I should have this. I should have that. That gets overwhelming. And then even in you know, life, I should have a new house.
00:04:11
Speaker
I should be married. I should have kids. I should have land. I should have this. I should have a cut. You know, um there's there's so many things. And that happened to me literally the last couple of episodes. I was so excited to record and I went to go grab a coffee and I literally opened up threads and saw this woman who and I was I was like a high on my excitement of the growth that the podcast has had.
Social Media and Motivation
00:04:42
Speaker
um from my Spotify wrapped and I was very like, oh my gosh, this is so exciting. And then someone posted theirs and I didn't even know this woman and my first reaction was like, congrats. But then as I,
00:04:58
Speaker
thought about it. like, oh my gosh, she's so much farther along than me. And I just spiraled into like, why are you even going to record the podcast? Like why even do this? Like, and these are literal thoughts that I have. So I know if I'm having them because of experience with my friends and other people, and you know, when you get there, you're going for a goal and then you see someone else as like already 10 next day, or they're already there. And you're like,
00:05:28
Speaker
is this even worth it for me? like you And you know it is, but in that moment, you're sitting there like, i i don't even know what I'm doing. Why is it not coming for me? And you suddenly feel behind when you're not on the same path.
00:05:45
Speaker
You're not running the same race. You don't have the same circumstances. You don't have the same timelines. You don't have all of those things. And even though I know that, right? Like this person, she had like a a big following and she's been doing social media for a long time. And it was totally different when I'm like, and this isn't like trying to be an excuse, but I have to be logical. Like Heather, just a few years ago, you had a private social media account and you were just married and doing this a whole other life.
Focus on Personal Progress
00:06:14
Speaker
So why are you comparing yourself to something that's not really even on the same journey?
00:06:21
Speaker
But it was so, I literally was crying in the car before I came into the studio to record. Um, because I was like, i don't, I don't even know what I'm doing.
00:06:32
Speaker
And in that moment, I realized there's probably so many of us that aren't going after the goals this year or going after things that we know are like in the back of our mind that we want to get after.
00:06:47
Speaker
But we're afraid that we can't do it And when we see other people do it, it makes us feel even farther from that because we're like, they're already there and it just gets us down this despair.
00:07:06
Speaker
So I was thinking about this to kind of help you reframe of when you're doing that because I feel... Gosh, guys, this is a big one for me because this year I feel a lot of things are shifting and people are going to have to look within and say like, I can do this.
00:07:24
Speaker
I can make some changes. And I do believe that a lot of people are on that right in that position of taking that leap of like coming into a different version of themselves, whatever that looks like. They're going to go after those big things. There's going to be this shift. A lot of things are happening. i just feel it. And I know that you need to hear that you're going to have to stay in your own lane.
00:07:49
Speaker
You're going to have to focus on you and not how everyone else has a head start or how everyone else is already there or any of that.
00:07:59
Speaker
It needs to just be um full speed ahead on your own, at your own pace. And I'll say it in that way, like the tortoise and the hare, we've all heard this story.
00:08:10
Speaker
But I was thinking last night before bed how it a lot of the reason the hare lost and the tortoise won was that the hare...
Lessons from the Tortoise and Hare
00:08:23
Speaker
was comparing and the tortoise was not. Because if you think about it, the hair was slowing down and doing its own thing and like, oh, I can nap, I can rest, I can whatever, because I'm better.
00:08:35
Speaker
I'm faster. Which is great. The confidence, all right, got to love it. But just focus on what you do. You would have won the race. But then instead you're like, oh, I could beat a tourist and and tortoise and you just kind of make different decisions.
00:08:52
Speaker
Do you think the tortoise would have even started the race if he was comparing himself to a hare? or finished? Because why would he think if he was in comparison, if you're just looking at it like, you probably won't win.
00:09:10
Speaker
But he didn't. The tortoise just went. Just took his own pace. Just stayed in his own lane. Didn't worry about where the hair was in the race.
00:09:23
Speaker
Just kept going at his own pace. And it's not just slow and steady wins the race. It's when you're just focused on your own path, you don't have all these detours that overwhelm you.
00:09:46
Speaker
You're not going, but where's the hair? Maybe I should just stop. Maybe I should quit. I mean, I'm not that far along. I mean, how would I ever beat a hair? There's no possible way. You think if the tortoise was doing all those things, it could have kept going? No, no, probably not because that's overwhelming. And so I'm not saying those thoughts won't come up, but I'm challenging you to say, i don't compare myself anymore.
00:10:11
Speaker
I'm on the path that's right for me and I'm at the pace that's meant for me and I will get there when it's my time. And that doesn't mean sitting around and like having not a care in the world and just expecting to win the race. But that means that you're taking the right actions for you repetitively over and over again, regardless of what how i quickly everyone else is doing it.
00:10:42
Speaker
And I think about this when we compare to as back in the day, my previous life, I loved i loved playing a
Playing Your Own Hand in Life
00:10:50
Speaker
lot of poker. And obviously, you know, I feel like life's a gamble. ah My grandpa would be like, you got know when to hold them. But um so.
00:11:02
Speaker
I'm just thinking about anyways, that was a good song. You know, that's ah the gambler is a good one. But that's kind of like life in the way that when you're you're playing poker with whole bunch of people, somebody I felt like every time I played, somebody was always getting the good hands and you could think of it that way. And you'd be sitting there playing poker and someone would just be like, who's getting pocket aces?
00:11:25
Speaker
you know, a king, queen suited, it like all this. And you're going like, how am I going to win? yeah This person's just getting all the hands. But when your focus is on how their hand is better than yours, you're not in a position to, it's not going to make you win any quicker. It's not going to make your hand any better.
00:11:50
Speaker
If anything, you lose the strategy of how do I win with the hand I was dealt? Because your focus has shifted to comparing and saying, oh, well, if I had pocket aces, I'd win too.
00:12:04
Speaker
But I've seen pocket aces lose.
00:12:10
Speaker
So I'm just saying that it isn't about the card someone else was dealt, how quickly they got there, that really matters.
00:12:22
Speaker
It's who can hold and stay in their own lane consistently the longest. And it's really not who because you're not competing with anyone. And it really is a competition of yourself. And so when you're coming into this new year, I don't want you to start going, well, I'm this old or I'm this far along. Now I'm starting all over and I'm, you know, this is like, that is so easy.
00:12:46
Speaker
to feel like you're behind when you start looking at where you think everyone else is at your same point in time.
Genuine Desires vs. Societal Pressure
00:12:56
Speaker
But I challenge you to just feel all right with just focusing on your path and and not so much on comparing or deciding what your worthiness is based on everyone else's journeys.
00:13:15
Speaker
And I think I'll tell you that I realize this is really just something that happens at all points of our life. I was talking to a girl ah who was doing my hair a couple of weeks ago and she was just doing um like a little blowout and she was younger and she was like, I really want a boyfriend and I don't have one. And i just kind of make me feel like, am I not like good enough for a boyfriend? And I was like, and she was, she was young. She was like 19. And I was like, well, of course, you know, of course you're good enough. Like, why would you even think that? and she's like, well, everyone else has one and I don't.
00:13:49
Speaker
So I just, I don't really know wine And I'm like, okay, well, do you really, like, do you really want a boyfriend? Like, why, why do you want a boyfriend? Is it because everyone else that you're around has a boyfriend or like, do you really want a boyfriend?
00:14:03
Speaker
And she's like, and she was honest. She's like, I think it's kind of both. i think it's kind of, I feel left out. And then I think I just haven't had one in a long time, so it'd be nice.
00:14:15
Speaker
And I realized that sometimes the things that we want, we need to evaluate if it's because we really want them or it's because we want to be perceived a certain way or we want to fit in with people or we want, you know, everyone else is doing it. So we think that should be where we're at.
00:14:38
Speaker
Because I'll tell you, I took that path myself and everything that I achieved. And I'm not taking it back. So, you know, again, um we're all on our own journeys, but a lot of the paths and choices that I made, realized when I look back and is why I'm telling you,
00:15:00
Speaker
is were about where I thought I needed to be to feel successful, to be perceived like I had it all together, that I was not left out. And I'll tell you, there's um the interesting part about it, too, is there's like ps like human psychology to it.
00:15:20
Speaker
like the herd mentality where like back in the the olden days, caveman or whatever, like people, humans had to be part of the pack.
00:15:31
Speaker
And so if they they did things that were different than the group, they could be like isolated and then they're on their own and you kind of needed that like pack mentality. I might be using terminology wrong, but you know what i mean? They're all herding together. So you didn't want to be left out. And so it's kind of a natural human mentality feeling to just want to be part of the crowd and fit in so you don't stand out because when you stood out that was not safe but we're not in that anymore and i want to remind you that you can make decisions that are right for you
00:16:12
Speaker
And sometimes those decisions may make you stand out.
Finding Your Path Beyond Societal Norms
00:16:17
Speaker
And if someone compared, they'd be like, well, he doesn't or she doesn't have anything because someone is comparing what their perception of success is to what your perception of success is.
00:16:30
Speaker
And when you truly decide that it may not look like everyone else's,
00:16:38
Speaker
Wow. I mean, it it's it's it's one of those where it hits the ego.
00:16:46
Speaker
Because you realize, especially when you build your whole life around, you know, how do I compare to someone else? And I've told, I've said this before, I i truly, you know, being born and raised in Utah, it definitely is somewhere where I feel like keeping up with the Joneses is a thing.
00:17:07
Speaker
And so comparison was heavy. And honestly, one of the reasons I left is like, I i can't even fit in this world anymore. like this divorced woman, like, you know, like, um, it just felt like, gosh, I would have just, I would have just conformed to the societal pressure of trying to compete and compare in a world that I didn't want to be in anymore.
The Anxiety of Comparison
00:17:35
Speaker
And so if you're in that space, if you're trying to navigate, what do I do for me? I just want you to know that the best thing that you can do is to not compare your journey to anyone else's.
00:17:56
Speaker
And i'll tell I'll leave you with this like beautiful, and I'm summarizing it It was this beautiful poem, and I'll have to link her sub stack. But there was a poem um that I read and I was thinking the same thing so of course the poem came to me but basically this girl was writing about how she was taking this wonderful walk down the dirt like down this path and she was noticing the beautiful trees and the bees and all of the things And suddenly she became aware of someone else on the path that was like farther ahead. And she said, I didn't care about anyone behind me. But when I noticed someone was a in front of me, i started feeling overwhelmed. I started feeling like I could no longer breathe, that the bees weren't beautiful anymore. They were distracting and the noise was loud and I was just fearful. And I was like, I need to I need to start running.
00:18:53
Speaker
I need to start running. and it's And that is the i anxiety you feel when you stop just walking your own path in peace and you start looking at what everyone else is doing and going, and what i'm is what i' I'm doing enough?
00:19:14
Speaker
And it's heavy to feel that way. And I wanna remind you that your path is not going to look like someone else's, but you also don't know what their path was before, even if they seem ahead. And you don't know what beautiful meadows, what corner corners can come up on your path and take you to the most beautiful places you've never imagined.
00:19:38
Speaker
That is this journey. That is you not knowing everything that's ahead for you. And I will promise you that it's going to be a much more enjoyable journey if you just focus on the beauty and the greatness within your own path instead of worrying about what everyone else has on their path.
00:20:01
Speaker
Comparison isn't there to help you.
00:20:06
Speaker
And I just don't want you to bring that energy into any time in your life, anytime. So if you've been doing that, I need to remind you. And the thing is, other people may do be doing that too. Someone may be thinking you're farther ahead than them.
00:20:24
Speaker
Someone's looking at you and thinking, gosh, I wish I had that. And we're all over here just thinking there's somebody else. Everybody has a moment of that. We could all find things to envy in others.
00:20:38
Speaker
But again, it's it's the cards we were dealt. It's the hand that we're playing. and And when we focus on how do I make this my own winning hand, how I win, and it's make it less about everyone else, then we win.
00:20:55
Speaker
We have the best chance.
00:20:58
Speaker
And so I want you to stop comparing. And literally when you bring it up in your mind, you've literally got to be like, oh, I'm not that person anymore. I don't. I don't compare. Thank you. Thank you.
00:21:09
Speaker
And I've talked about that before, but that's a big unlock. Just I hear you, but i don't I don't compare. I'm on my own path. Saying that out loud to yourself when those comparisons come up, I promise you. And the last thing I'll remind you is no one else's success takes from what you're doing.
00:21:28
Speaker
Two things can be true. Someone else can be really successful and already there and you could still be right around the corner and get there too. They're not the same pass. You're completely different people with completely different talents, with completely different energy, with completely different stories.
Unique Journeys and Potential
00:21:47
Speaker
You are not a carbon copy of anyone else. And so there's nothing that can be taken from you because someone else wins.
00:21:56
Speaker
All right. Now, if you know someone that's in that comparison loop that keeps saying, I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough. And gosh, there are so many. This is a big one. I feel like this is one that people talk to me about all the time. So I just really want to remind you again, you are not behind.
00:22:14
Speaker
You are not broken. You are not not winning because you're not there yet. Every journey has a purpose and you will get to where you're meant to be.
00:22:29
Speaker
Just keep focusing on yourself and your own path. Okay. And if someone needs to hear this that you know, make sure you send it to them, share it with them. Make sure you remind yourself, come back to this episode. I do not compare.
00:22:44
Speaker
i am not late. I'm not behind. And I don't have to have X, Y, and z to be loved, to be cared for, to be important, to be worthy. You're inherently worthy.
00:22:57
Speaker
And this is the year that you own your self-worth and stop giving it away to comparison.
Listener Engagement and Future Content
00:23:06
Speaker
Okay? So give, if this helped at all, make sure to rate the podcast, give it five stars.
00:23:14
Speaker
Write a review. Write something. Write something. I'd love to read it. I'd love to read it. And then visit wanderingthewildmess.com. There's always new stuff there. I would love you for for you to subscribe to my email list. i'm In the new year, I'm going to be doing more exciting stuff. So that would mean a lot to me. And again, i appreciate you being here. This is going to be the year that you crush everything in your life. You're going to start focusing on yourself and remembering how important you are and worthy you are. so I'm so proud of you for being here. i i love y'all for just all the support. It means the world to me. i cannot wait for what's in store for this year. So many exciting things. So mark my words, this is going to be the best year yet.
00:23:59
Speaker
Thank you for listening to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. You matter.