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Savage City - Knockin' on Evan's Door
42 Plays3 months ago
A call from some of Snow's past associates leads our trio back to the wasteland outside the city to heist a train but this train fights back and bad things happen! Listen! PLEASE! Check out Adam's new fitness training progam: https://www.fiverr.com/s/1q0wjW9
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Transcript
Introduction and Banter
00:00:00
Speaker
Hi everybody, welcome to the podcast. Today I'm doing something a little different. I'm already recording. No one's joined the session yet. We're gonna see what happens if I edit this out, how long it takes. We're playing Savage City and they're gonna be bamboozled when I've already done the introduction. Here we go. Someone's joining in now. Who could it be first? Up on the bat. Let's see. Who is it gonna be? What are they gonna say? Wow, it's taking them a long time to pick their name for the session.
00:00:24
Speaker
holy cannoli oh evan evan's here hello adrian say hello to the people marty recording hello hello but there's some people missing yeah yeah i'm doing a little doing a little little trick trick tricky thing here today jesus called it oh look here look who's next Cass is coming in, everybody. It's Cassandra. Watch out for her. She put her full name on the thing. She's serious, means business today. Yeah. Like if you're, it's kind of like when your parents kind of said like, Oh, Adrian Bayou is so crowded right now. Oh shit. They just say Adrian's full name. Okay. Sandra is taking a long time to get in here. That's kind of the longer the name is the longer it takes to join. Yeah. She shouldn't have done that. The internet's taking a long time to download her name and did a program. Oh, if you haven she left. She should have chosen her shorter name.
00:01:12
Speaker
nike's They should have, because I hope that way she's back. This is is interesting stuff. So anyway, about what happened
Desert Adventure Recap
00:01:17
Speaker
last time, Adrian? You guys went to um a place in the desert, sort of, right? We went to a place in the desert, and then we kind of jumped some people. I kind of wanted to go there more like secretly, but then... Shit happened to you. I'm sure the stoop just jumped out of the fence and was like, hey, I'll punch you. I want your arms.
00:01:37
Speaker
Well, the guy did fan case. He didn't fall for the trick. You guys tried point. Oh, shit. Cassis here and Adams here, everybody. Say hi, guys. Hi. Did you start the recording before I joined? We're doing a little funny. We're doing a little funny little thing here today. So happy birthday, everybody.
Birthday Mix-Up and Humor
00:01:56
Speaker
Everybody. Happy birthday, Cass.
00:01:59
Speaker
I know you guys I was going to announce that thanks for ruining my introduction. You're included on the plan there, home skillet. So you can suck the dingleberries out my butt crack. I'm not even going to tell her happy birthday now. Yeah, we got to get to come to my birthday party. Oh, yuck. We got to come to the party.
00:02:23
Speaker
There will be single girl stare and they're not going to want to date you now because you're mean to their friend cast. That's true. I even won this Polly. Her name is Polly. Did you hear that? Like the pocket. Anyway, um so, yeah, we we were just discussing what happened.
Mission Details and Upgrades
00:02:40
Speaker
um Adrian was saying that you guys went to a facility and fought some people. Why did you go there, Adrian? What was the cause of that? What is the reasoning?
00:02:47
Speaker
Because I did some research on the internet and did some sick hacking skills. And I found out there's a facility that amputates people and puts like, cybernetting enhancements on them. that fucked out And human bullit probably a clue to where my sister is. And then I called her up like stoop and snowy and then we were like,
00:03:11
Speaker
went to her in her car and then we kicked some ass there. Yeah, and you got you downloaded a bunch of files and it's going to be a whole thing to decom d unzip those so zip files.
00:03:23
Speaker
um Yes, so that'll be a thing that'll happen at some point. But anyway, yeah, that's where I was it beat up some dudes um Killed it one guy kill another guy Laserfist y'all he ripped off a guy's head off. Yeah. Yeah, he cut a toe off um yeah And yeah, that's pretty much it. So now you guys are back in town. um Everybody's safe and sound ah and and i have an eyeball i' one of his eyess The off the guy to yeah Yeah, that's right. I forgot you did that. cyber And you did let us level up, but I was apparently two levels behind. So I leveled up twice. Yeah, that's right. Everybody for some reason. Also, I picked. ah Go ahead, Adrian. as I've been thinking it's kind of ah starting to get weird that we always talk about those specifically me, but it's not on purpose. It just kind of happens.
00:04:11
Speaker
Geez, I find it weird that I talk about toes a lot. Just covering something about myself. adrian adriannes likes ah Some people like victory over defeat, but Adrian likes defeat over victory. um but yeah I leveled up with the trademark weapon edge that gave me some bonuses to attack and defense when wielding my signature runic sword my what I call it my molecular sword yes you keep trying to call it runic but you keep getting molecular I know I think it's because of my brain there's runes on it so I keep calling it a runic sword
00:04:47
Speaker
um But it's not a ruin. It's not technically a runic sword. It's a sword with runes, but it's a molecular sword because it cuts you at the molecular level. Oh, man. That's why it has two armor. Try healing that shit. I don't know if you can. Yeah. or I get plus one to parry when I ready my weapon. Like when I'm in a battle and I get plus one to this weapon for if I throw it or from fighting with it. um So I just kind of added that in for when I'm using it for battle.
00:05:14
Speaker
lack ofoo What did you guys level up? What did you do, Adrian? What did you give yourself? I leveled up my notice and my athletics so that they are a bit better. Boring. Yeah, I leveled up my stealth as well.
00:05:27
Speaker
um a Cass, what did you level up?
Character Developments and Living Situations
00:05:32
Speaker
Oh, I don't remember actually. Nice. you shouldn't You could look it up. Oh, yeah. I did a plus one repair and plus one survival. That's cool. That's way cooler. adrian kind of broken it Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got that car. I got to make that thing work. And plus you're living in Adrian's apartment. You got to pay him somehow. Yeah. I mean, I mean, Evan's apartment. Anywho, so you guys are bed sleeping on the bottom of the foot of the bed like a cat what kind of of roommates now.
00:06:05
Speaker
Yeah, anyway that was so some if you didn't listen last episode, that's something you missed as a snow spear apparently is crashing in Evans apartment. um She only has a car to her name. She was living out of her car, I think before this. And she's full of trash in the car. So that makes a lot of sense. Anywho, yeah um see how you guys are back in town. Everything is great and grand and magical and wonderful. um
Job Proposal: Squid Park
00:06:26
Speaker
And I'm just going to say for for the sake of yeah getting to where we need to go, let you know what's going to happen. Snow spear, your phone rings.
00:06:34
Speaker
How you should pick it up? Do you answer it? I mean, I don't really want to. God, I don't really... I have to answer the phone. You get a voicemail? Can I please have that as kitty poop? Your ringtone is kitty poop. It's like a spit since you're playing a cat person. Yeah. You're gonna get a voicemail.
00:07:03
Speaker
Now, she's going to listen to the voice mom. Okay. You hear doesn't really look on the phone. She'd rather text. Okay. You hear, Hey, it's no spear. It's me. Um, Joel Powell, Tommy Wang. Um, why don't you try one chance your phone, you know, I just try to give you help and get me to come do a job with me and you can pick up a phone, you know, need a good driving person. Um, so yeah, call me back. Tommy Wang.
00:07:30
Speaker
be She texts him back. What's up? No, I got an X out of text. Let me just take the text back. You see the letter Y, the letter R, the letter U, not answering U-R-F-O-N-E. I answer back, do I ever answer my phone? You get an O back and then he's typing for a really long time and then it stops and then you see it just says, can the letter U
00:08:04
Speaker
M-E-T-M-E. Sure. Where? ah He says A-T-D-A at Da Park. And then he writes, what's a good name for a park, you guys, and in the city? We already had one, but there's another port park. Squid Park. Okay, Squid squid Park. Ingleberry. Nope. Okay, never mind. Nope. I like Squid Park.
00:08:32
Speaker
at Squid Park, S-K-W-I-D. Whether or not he's spelling it right, we
Train Heist Planning
00:08:38
Speaker
don't know. sure She replies, eww, but OK. And he see text back he says, ah you know you want to eat some of these squid people. Get down here.
00:08:50
Speaker
Facts. See you soon. And it's not a park made for squid people, but of squid people. Yeah, it's exciting. And then you're in you're in. I'm assuming you're in Evan's apartment sitting somewhere doing something. um He's over there probably tacking on a computer doing his mumbo jumbo computer bullshit. He does code all the files. He's decoding.
00:09:12
Speaker
she probably like took some of his furniture and made it into like a makeshift like a giant size like cat tree and is just like hanging off of it while she's talking on the phone or she's like texting on the phone and she looks over at Evan and she's like so I've got a job you can come with me if you want to but uh I gotta to go You know, I'm kind of busy, but I guess I can come with you. I mean,
00:09:51
Speaker
i mean some money won't hurt, so i'll I'll just come along. Yeah. Yeah. yeah All right. Well, come on then. Should we call stoop? I mean, do what you really want to close to. That's fair. I mean, yes. OK. But if anything goes wrong, it's on yours and Stoop's head. What could go wrong? ah You know, more laser people.
00:10:24
Speaker
That guy was a punk. It's okay. Um, before you guys leave, just she just texts him and says, Hey, meet me at the park at squid park. You text you, you text that to me. Yeah.
00:10:41
Speaker
I'm still wearing my metal gloves and they don't let me text so like I'm just like clanking on my phone. dinging ding d She doesn't wait for a reply. She just shoves her phone back into her pocket and then goes down to her car. She like doesn't care.
00:10:59
Speaker
actually like you see stoop like grabs like grabs like some some punk like shilling like stolen goods like on the street or some shit he says all right i don't want to take the gloves off text back to letter k it means like potassium or something all right all right but by the way these aren't just this because you're a vigilant i mean and everything's not everything's stolen okay skull guy this is yeah he's like at like a supermarket it's like a legit business Like, I i paid for this shit to sell it, you know, whatever, man. You get K. There you go. Jeez. Did you hit the send button? No, you only tell me to hit K. OK, send. I said the send button. I did. All right. Thanks. Yeah. Now, um. Give me a give me give me a pack of those Stenman's and I'll be on my way. All right. That'll be that'll be 30 credits, please. 30 credits. What the fuck? You know, everything's fucking expensive, man.
00:11:52
Speaker
Ah, fine. But I'm only... yeah You know what? You did send a text for me. I guess that's worth 30 creds. Hey, cool, man. Thanks, dude. That's a lot, though. It better be a big box, not one of those little mini boxes. I mean, it's like a 12-pack. A 12-pack? That's it? That's all the Thin Mints that are in here? Yeah, man.
00:12:14
Speaker
What the fuck? Oh my God. Are you serious? Hey, hey, man, you know how hard it is to get a 12 pack in this place? like eing do i so You go to the store, there's only a six packs down there, man. I had to go all the way out into like 20 miles out of town to get these. Can I tell you, I got a six pack on my front and a six pack on my back. So I got a 12 pack as well.
00:12:36
Speaker
Cool. How does that make you feel? Confused. All right. Well, I'm going to the parks. All right, man. See you. Cool. See you later. It doesn't happen. I'm trying to imagine how a six pack on your back looks like. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
00:12:55
Speaker
Two butt cheeks and some backflap. Before you guys, before you leave, ah what's your name, Evan? I'll let you do a hacking role to see if you can start a good program up to like start decrypting, unzipping, oh, four. Okay. Yeah, you start a program for sure. It's a four, yeah. ah you got Yeah, you got a program running there. it says ah it's what's It's like when you start an installation and then you have like a shitty connection and it says like, um time remaining or approximated time, one day, three hours. And you're like, OK, that's not too bad. And it's like approximate time, three days, 14 hours. Then I hit the PC 24 hours. It's like the animation of like the folder chucking a piece of paper into the other folder. Yeah, yeah it's like decrypting. Yeah. And it keeps changing. I have some time. Yeah, you got some time.
00:13:45
Speaker
um So you go outside with, what's her face? You guys get into the car, as she said, and you drive to Squid Park. That's great. um And you're at Squid Park. And I run there. And he yeah she goes on his little tootsies. What were you about to say there, Evan? ah So what are we actually doing at this job? Well, I haven't really gotten any details yet or anything, but like.
00:14:12
Speaker
I figured we'd get it all the details when we get there because he just left me a voicemail and I don't like to like talk on the phone. So like, yeah, you know, I can relate to it. I hate phone calls as well. Yeah. Yeah. So you guys pull up and, um, what can I, I want to do, let me see, let me pull up Savage world's character sheet. What should, uh, Steve, I want you to roll some real athletics. See how quickly you get there.
00:14:41
Speaker
I mean a role athletics. Yeah, quickly. I get yeah cause if you're walking and they're driving. Everything's but 11. He was again, Justin, the guy, Johnny Wang, Johnny, Johnny Wang. Is it Johnny or Johnny? Johnny. Oh, you said Johnny when you when he calls. That's how he talks. This is actually OK.
00:15:02
Speaker
11. OK, you make it air pretty quick, too. um Yeah. OK, you guys get to the park. What's what does Squid Park look like, Cass?
00:15:12
Speaker
So I see like a really like, does it like this park looks like it had this huge metal squid that's like coming and out of like the ground so it's like a statue that like they thought it was a good idea but all the kids kept getting hurt on it so they had to like close it down so now like everything that was part of the park is just kind of like desolate and just abandoned and there's like a swing set that
00:15:50
Speaker
does not look comfortable like to sit on at all and there's one that's like broken on one side and the swings all hanging off to the to the you know it's all dangling um like you know where you sit and then um everything. There's just weeds everywhere. It just looks gross. We're in a shitty part of town. Okay, that's a good place for a criminal meeting to take place. um yeah So yeah, this guy, there's like spray paint everywhere, tags everywhere. Okay, very good. And there's literally no one there except for a guy um standing. He's got like, ah like, ah like a sort of like wacky wild red hair sticking off his head. um He's wearing a
00:16:32
Speaker
A gray hoodie, I guess, and some pants and some shoes as well, if you can believe it. And he's just kind of standing there leaning against one of the squid tentacles. Is he a human man? Let's say he is a human man. He's a human man. And you see him there. And you know, in Snowspur, you know this man to be the appearance that you remember Jommie Wang to have had. All right. What's up, Jommie?
00:17:00
Speaker
Uh, I forget how I talked, but I think this is what it was. Yeah. I'm like, kind of, you had them kind of Kiwi. Yes. How you going there? My name's Choman, Johnny Wang. How are you doing? Who's this? Who's this big old hunk of meat you got with you? My roommate. excited You're going to do the job today. Yeah. I figured, you know, two heads are better than one. Three heads are better than two.
00:17:26
Speaker
And then you hear, clang, clang, clang. Stoop comes running around the corner. Feel like a front flip over the bench. Oh, he's shy. He's this big old hunk of meat too. yeah It's my future ex-boyfriend. It's fine. Don't worry about him. Oh, damn. You're always building them a bunch of hairs. No spear. All right. Well, you know, um, it's me, Johnny Wang. I've got a job for you. Uh, help me out on, uh, what? Yeah, you're good. Yeah. Yeah. I'm cool. Sorry. I said, cool. Oh, sorry. I was talking. tu feelinging away yeah ah Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. What are we doing here? You just told me to meet at the park.
00:18:05
Speaker
Why are we here? Well, you know, I would tell you in a minute, we have a job to do. Let's, uh, let's do a job. How do you guys feel about trains? You like trains? I like trains. hey yeah How about you, uh, short stack? Well, I'll tell you one thing. I don't, not, not ever, not negative, not like trains.
00:18:29
Speaker
Right. Well, um that's good, I think, because you're going to go we're going we're going into one and we're going to go yeah outside city. It's supposed to have this this this ah train. one of that One of the companies is shooting across the desert out there, and it's going to have ah all kind of cool shit in it for us to steal or whatever, take off there. um Some blokes want to get it, and we're going to get it for them. Did you ever work with a fellow named Boss? Boss Williams? Remember him?
00:18:58
Speaker
Um, isn't he that guy with the face and the name? Those two things are accurate for what boss Williams has. Yeah. He's going to be. Was he in that movie with that guy who was on that planet? Yes. And I think I was kind of with the face and I thought I would be was going to get one extra person here, but he's got two people here.
00:19:24
Speaker
This is great. I think I have three different actions by the time I'm finished talking. I was going to say, like, as you're talking, it's just like going all, you're driving all over the road, buddy. That's Jimmy Wang. Oh, sorry, by the way. toy wangs no snowpe I forgot to tell you too. Um, I got a, uh, a new voice modulate box in me throat installed and it kind of fucks up once in a while, but, uh, that's really cool. Can I get one? I mean, I guess if you got, yeah, yeah, I'm i'm not the boss of your body.
00:19:52
Speaker
where Where would I get one? Well, I got mine done down at and at discount cybernetics. That's pretty good. I think, oh well, I mean. Discount cybernetics. Yeah, I Dr. Joe is his name. Dr. Joe. I kind of have bad reviews about this place. You can't believe the reviews, man. They got 5,000 reviews and they're three stars. um I'll go there instead of a place with two reviews and five stars, you know?
00:20:17
Speaker
It's like fucking, it's like Sam and Chandler. Anyway.
00:20:29
Speaker
I just found that I have a modulator in my helmet. It's been here the whole time. I thought the sheet metal was getting ripped off the siding over here. Anyway, anyway,
Executing the Train Heist
00:20:41
Speaker
yeah, guys. So what we're going to do, we got a really sick car out there, snow spears going to like rip over the desert and shit. And we got like this little like thing. We got to shoot at the side of the train to rip off the paneling. It's supposed to be really strong. So I don't know if it's going to cut the mustard or not, but we can just jump on top where it was going to work. I think it's going to be a fun time.
00:21:00
Speaker
Okay. Wait, wait. Did you say that there's a sick car? Yeah, man. How can a car get sick? I mean, like it's cool, you know? Like awesome. Neat. Oh, gotcha. Radical. Sorry. I was just, I've just been really blown away by what nature can produce. I thought cars were evolving. Oh, nah. Well, I mean, maybe I don't know, but I ain't seen the newest models, but yeah. Anyway, these guys want to go out there. We got a, I mean, I don't know if you're ready. Uh, we'll see what better to, you know,
00:21:30
Speaker
But come around we are roping a driving train, did I understand this correctly? Yeah, yeahs it's already on its way to the city. I mean, it's pretty far out now. We be and wherever we want to leave. We can leave before too late, you know. But yeah, guys, whatever it is.
00:21:43
Speaker
I was going to ask you, do we have like a list of things that like we're supposed to get? Or we're just like supposed to just take the car? Cause like, well, it seems a little hard there, bro. Well, the car is ours. We've already got that to use, but it's supposed to be, we're hitting the third train car back on the thing. That's what they want. Um, there's some cases and shit in there. They want us to take out of there. and Okay. Yeah. It's going to be a tits, I think.
00:22:10
Speaker
OK. So you're giving us a new car to drive and go take a train car? I ain't giving you shit, mate. I'm going to let Snowspear drive this car that we've got provided for us when we're out there for the job, because it's keen to rip over the dunes and the hills and the stones and things. And who's boss Williams again?
00:22:31
Speaker
He's one of our old buddies who we do jobs with. You know, I have snow spear knows him. um but I've been talking to him for a long time. So, so he's not been in the, in the game as much lately, but yeah, he's a, he's a good chap to have a around. Well, I'm terrible with names too. So like it could have been anyone at this point. I mean, that's kind of fair. I mean, it's just here to be an extra body really. Yeah.
00:22:59
Speaker
wait I mean you guys do we need him though? I mean I guess not I thought I was getting you but now we've got three people involved but I mean he's already keen on he's already keen on coming along so I mean I don't want to let the guy down. but out Well the last time that like we did a job like he was acting all weird towards me and so like I really just like and I'm kind of fine with just keeping my distance from him. so can You can't even remember who he is. I don't even think you know. You talk about snow. and Besides, you make everybody act weird around you because you act weird. So I don't want to hear it. Let's get the hell out of it. You're very accurate about that. I am kind of weird. you know I generally try to make people think that I'm either crazy, a serial killer, or just funny. And I could be just all of them out at the same time. You're never going to know though.
00:23:51
Speaker
Yeah, you know, i so I don't think any of those things about you. So it's doing a bad job at that. Meanwhile, meanwhile, Stupa standing behind him, like counting on his fingers as she's naming them off and like, yeah, be happy he's not in his hand on his head. Crazy psycho. Fucking nuts. Drives like a maniac. I'm sorry. Are we done? little probably there is anyway probably kept going yeahs Yeah, it's gonna be worthwhile. Well, I mean it would do me a little less worthwhile payment now that you guys go to split more ways But I thought we just gonna be paying snow to with the extra money But you know, it's all fine and good still a good bit of money we should be getting And um and if you don't guys got any other shit we want to talk about I would like to get out of here cuz I feel like I'm getting tetanus just standing in this place Yeah, you're right
00:24:40
Speaker
You're getting Tetris? It's a terrible thing. Tetris, it's a really old game. Yeah, I don't even know what you're talking about, mate. It's new to me. Don't spoil the ending. yeah Why don't you guys meet us outside? When are you guys ready? What do you think? A little late today? What are you thinking? What time does the train leave? I'm ready now. I'm sorry. It's already tricking along through the desert. It's just a good ways out now.
00:25:04
Speaker
yeah At least- Yeah, sooner or the better, Bran. Good, good, yeah. I was bored anyway. All right, cool. Well, hey, how many seats you got in that? You got a four seat today in your car? You want to just drive me out there with you? Sure. All right, let's all pile in. I call shotgun. Wait, I thought you were giving us a different car to drive. Oh my God. Do you know what? Listen, it's out there. I guess I didn't tell you. It's out in the desert, man. It's not in town. That thing's a freaking beast. It's not going to fit through these gates.
00:25:33
Speaker
Oh, right. She looks at us and says, when do you get these mugs at snow cheese? I have no idea. They just kind of showed up at my doorstep somewhere. You mean Evan's doorstep. You don't have that.
00:25:51
Speaker
Damn, now you still haven't got your own place to live? Oh my God, I told you, don't believe I just, I'm glad I caught a shotgun. Look at that back seat. Jeez, oh, Pete's. Well, yeah, I said, Evan's my roommate. Whose house do you think it is? well I mean, I thought maybe you finally, God, it doesn't matter. Let's get in the car. Everybody, let's roll out. and The roommate has steps on like the front seat at all times.
00:26:15
Speaker
Oh, that's black hole shotgun, man. I'm sorry. Shotgun. You called shotgun. Come on. You have to honor the shotgun. Speaking of um snow, if we stop by my apartment, I've got to get my shotgun. Okay. And my grenades. Is your wife still there? Yeah. Unfortunately. Uh, she still make that good ass pie though. ah Hey, you know what I'm saying? She makes that pie. All right.
00:26:43
Speaker
Yeah, maybe she'll give me a piece. I mean, hey. We don't want to talk about those days against no spear. Damn this voice of mine. I'm starting to think you guys ain't talking about pie. Yeah, I could go for some pie.
00:26:57
Speaker
Listen, nobody's getting my wife's pie except for me. Okay. Bam. This voice mod's played as fucking. yeah God, maybe you need more pie. Maybe, maybe don't go to the Dr. Joe's discount places again. if i told you so ah Anyway, ah let's go. Okay. She climbs back in her car.
00:27:18
Speaker
clock wipe to his house. And he got a thing. And he's like, uh, snow, I'm not going to come up because you're going to get my wife all excited. So I'm going to go back down. fine He comes back. He has a duffel bag. He throws in with them and he's jumped in and he says, all right, to the desert. Um, he punched in on your little GPS. Also look into the door. Hey, do you have some pie for me?
00:27:43
Speaker
Ah, I got pie for everybody. Sugar. Bang. No, you don't. She's got no pie for you, man. All right. Anyway, yeah, I'm going to punch it in where we got this thing stashed at. Go ahead and drive us there. Snow spear. Outside the city. Limits. And we'll forego the whole crossing through the doorways thing.
00:28:07
Speaker
This rolls the double three on a driving road. My God. No, can you do? Can you pay attention to what you're doing out here? Come on. You see her. She's just like looking behind her through the side mirror of watching ah his wife. OK, I hear you. He leans he leans away out the windows like, get your ass back in the house.
00:28:30
Speaker
ah yeah And then like I lean out the window and grab some pie while you're there. Yeah, grab your a pie that way you don't get to be trying to throw it to everybody else. if Evan, do you think that there's really pie or do you think they're just teasing us? You know, I really think there's pie somewhere in that house. Hey, maybe maybe if we finish whatever this stupid job is real quick, we go fuck up a train. Oh, maybe the train car has filled a pie.
00:29:01
Speaker
They're most likely, like how many train cars are on this like train? Oh, like 30, 40. Yeah, I don't really know, but I doubt any of them got pie, but we can dream, boys. We can dream, I suppose. Maybe you find some pie. If you keep stepping on my pie dreams there, Mr. Jobby Wang, I'm going to turn you into a pie. All right. So either way, or we all win. Either way, I'm getting pie today. And now I really want cake.
00:29:29
Speaker
Damn, it's no spirit. Nobody likes cake over pie. If you could do, you're fucking crazy. There's no nutrition in it. Fruit pies is the way to go. Pumpkin pie around the holidays. Apple pie when it's time for summertime baseball.
00:29:48
Speaker
Now my voice modulate is messed up. I don't know if I talk like this. a As long as I've known you make you have, I think. Anyway, yeah now right right down here, we're going to go to this old dilapidated um facility here, this old garage here. Get right there. There he is himself. There he is. Boss Williams. Look at him. There's a guy standing there. He's got sunglasses on. He's smoking a cigarette.
00:30:10
Speaker
He's got like a black leather like vest on and some black pants and he's got like a basically looks like Hulk Hogan. He's got the must of the handlebar mustache, the long silken blonde hair and the hot dog colored skin.
00:30:24
Speaker
And, uh, just like fluff out. And he's like, he does, he doesn't really, he does like the, uh, the classic, like his, uh, his brows all like furrowed as he steps forward from where he's leaning. He puffs the last puff of his cigarette. He flicks it out into the, into the, into the weeds. And he, uh, just kind of like puts his hands in his belt loops and just stands there with his big muscles and his, uh, flaxen hair blowing in the wind. She tries to like hide her tail.
00:30:55
Speaker
Meanwhile, Stoop gets out, and he's chasing out to that cigarette that he threw in the woods to get it. What a fuck. you through the he Hey, brother. Oh, I'm sorry. Talk to her. Hello, sir. What? It's fine. You can you can do the talking. OK. Hey, brother, if you want, I'll give you one for a whole one here, buddy. No, I'm just making sure you don't burn the fucking woods down your creed. First of all, it's weeds over there. Second of all, OK, sure.
00:31:25
Speaker
Who's all these dudes you got with you, snow and charm? I got my roommate and like it's this this guy over here. He's, you know, he's just cool. He's one of my buddies. It's fine. Don't worry about it. One of your buddies. I have to be jealous about him or anything. It's fine. Hey, the boss is never jealous. it so Yeah. OK, whatever. Sure. Yeah.
00:31:54
Speaker
I can smell it. I just can't see it. Where the hell did it go? It's probably already burned out by now, dude. It's calm down. Come on. Hey, you guys want to see this? You want to see this this hog back here? Let's go see this thing. OK. Let's see what we're here. All right. And Voss Williams. Yes. He pulls open the garage door and there's like this big giant sort of like dune buggy style. It's got like the roll bars and shit and big old fat wheels. But it's like bigger. It's like I guess I guess kind of like the ah the borderlands cars, like in a way, but it's like got multiple seats in there for people and stuff. It's got a big like, um, poon thing on the back with a giant chain on it. And, uh, it looks pretty sweet.
00:32:35
Speaker
That's a sweet car. Hell yeah, brother. Her tail puffs out again.
00:32:44
Speaker
And, uh, you know, I thought I'd drive it since, you know, I've been tinkering on this thing, but I know there's only one, one set of paws in this whole city that drives better than anybody else. And, uh, I also want to shoot the gun. So she slowly puts up her right pod, just like uses her left pod up point at it. Me, I would like to drive this beautiful machine. And, uh,
00:33:10
Speaker
I thought he was talking about someone else. And then Johnny comes up behind you, smacks you in the back, oh, of course you're going to drive snow. What do you think we brought you out of here? The old, the old Savage City. Come on. Hey, hey, it's Weed Man.
Climax and Evan's Demise
00:33:21
Speaker
Yes. Well, I thought you were talking about you for a minute, bro, and I was going to get really sad because, like, I'm the best driver in Savage City. Yeah, you're not wrong. Hey, and I'm, uh... I really want to shoot a harpoon and a train, so it all works out.
00:33:39
Speaker
ah And me and John was like, weedy gay get come weedy boy, get out of them there weeds. Come on. you There's like, ah there's like the, the butt of the cigarette, like at the tip of his, and the tip of his molecular sword. yeah like hold He holds it up. He's like, you make sure this is crushed out. There's still some smoke coming off this thing. You trying to burn down the world? Cause this is how you do it. We start just flicking our butts out in the woods without making sure that crushed first society crumbles around us as we've already witnessed.
00:34:08
Speaker
but Anyway, Evan, you want this? you got an ashtra You got an ashtray in your chest or something? I can put this in.
00:34:17
Speaker
Evan, Evan, Evan, you. I didn't notice you talking to me. I was going to say, Cass and Adrian are like on a delay today. I said, I said, Evan, your name's Evan, not Adrian. Evan, do you have an ashtray inside your chest? I can put this thing on. You look like a fucking robot.
00:34:36
Speaker
Yes! Yes, you do! Yeah, you kinda do, dude. No, I do not. Brother, yeah, you kinda do. You got that whole arm is metal, um like your next metal. Yes. That doesn't mean I'm a robot. ah Do you not, like, have a mirror in your house? Yes. It's in my bathroom. Right, that's where a lot of mirrors are, okay. Yeah. I may live inside my suit, but I still know where mirrors go.
00:35:05
Speaker
I mean, I could think that you're just a metal statue. No, I just tuck my legs and arms up inside the suit like a tortoise and just take naps. I mean, I won't really ask questions about that. You do you? Yeah, I do. But I'm not a robot. I mean, you're not completely human either. I mean, that wasn't really intentional. They're really too sweet this way.
00:35:35
Speaker
I didn't say you did, mate. I'm just saying that you look like a damn robot because you said, do I look like a robot? And I said, yeah, you fucking do. So my question is, do you have an ashtray in there somewhere? ah Like I said earlier, no, the answer is definitely no. Fine. I'll just throw it away later. ah Anyway, what are we doing? Well, let's get on. Come on. Snow. Yeah, you get your wheela hand behind them wheels and you fellows can get in the ah Seats there. I want to post upon this here's bike shooter and John me. Don't get your greasy little fingers all over everything, please. You got a voice modulator on to their boss. Now, sometimes I just don't like talking so deep. So that hurts my throat. Gotcha. Yeah, it's tricky for being me for that same reason. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. I'm going to climb up on here now. So, uh, whatever do you guys want to do, whatever you're ready. I'm here. I'll just sit a back seat and wait for everyone to like drive.
00:36:34
Speaker
Nice backseat, Evan, backseat, Evan, that will be like my boy group name. I was just going to say back seats back. All right. see So you guys are piled in then. Um, and, uh, no spirit. He told Johnny tells you, he's like, all right, snow, drive up the highway here a bit.
00:36:55
Speaker
And then after a while, I'll tell you what, at 10, we'll get to the them train tracks there. We're thinking we wait a little ahead of where they are and speed off after them. And we're shooting to that thing there and, uh, you know, do the job this, uh, right there, then and there, bang, bang, bing, mong. She does the two finger salute, Adam. him You got it, boss. All right. Hell yeah. Peel us out of here. I thought that was boss.
00:37:22
Speaker
is this Wait, wait. I thought your name was Tommy. Wait, but you called him boss. Yes. It's, it's not like, you know, you can call us somebody a nickname. I called you short stack early. I know your name's not short stack, but just what I called you. Oh, I thought that you guessed my real name. is said youbra no No, but I've been pretty fucking crazy. It was ah quite gnarly of a guess. Yeah, it would have been, uh, you struck me as like a, a dim or something, right?
00:37:56
Speaker
Not even close, right? That's all right. Anyway. that bit stack Hey, real quick. Who's train are we about to rob? Oh, I can never remember. He's come to boss. Do you remember which company is, is, and a boss goes, um, yeah, it's, uh, it's, uh, what is it? Well, what the fuck was it? Uh, lie, lime, why lime ware, lime ware.
00:38:22
Speaker
I know anything about Limewear. What's Limewear? Why don't you roll a common knowledge roll? That's the thing, right? It is. My guy's real dumb, so he doesn't have much of that. Let's see. Hey, it's OK, brother. It's OK. I never skill a corner nor a two. I got a five. I got a five. Nice. I got a five. I was asking if she could as well. Yeah, go for it, sister. Wait a minute.
00:38:50
Speaker
Oh, she has no fucking good as anything bullshitting goes on. You know that limewear were makers of fine musical um equipment. And then they started making um like ah stuff that could be used as weapons to to sound related things and stuff like that. So that's kind of their steel. You said they started making musical equipment. Yeah. And now they make weapons. Yeah.
00:39:18
Speaker
That's cool. Musical weapons. Yeah. Dubstep gun. like That's what I was thinking. um Or the trumpet gun where you play a trumpet and bullets come out. Yeah. That would be cool. But yeah, that's what you know about Dan Shakespeare. You were like, um I don't know what company I know. Did they make limes? Is what you like. Do they make limes? That's what I'm thinking. No, they wear limes, idiot.
00:39:47
Speaker
Do they make lime necklaces? Because that sounds awesome. Do they have lime pies? Oh yeah. hey Yeah, lime pies for sure. Nobody wants a key lime pie, mate. No one wants to eat a lime pie. That sounds quite right. Nobody wants to wear a line. They make lime bras for the little gnomish women. I knew it. Yeah.
00:40:15
Speaker
It's like coconuts for the ones that are endowed, if you know what I mean. Except little no-me's can only get so big, so they use limes, oranges, pears, baby coconuts. It makes all the sense. Yeah, I get it. No, that makes all the sense. That's awesome. I would have never thought of that.
00:40:36
Speaker
nectarines, tangerines, and apples. Name and knight his name in fruits. man come put Name and fruits. Now I'm hungry for pie again. Pomegranate, by the way. too god Yeah, pomegranate. That's one you're not going to think of too quickly. But you guys know that the reason that we have the word grenade is from the word pomegranate. That sounds made up, mate.
00:41:02
Speaker
Isn't that fucking crazy? Yeah, I don't believe that even at all. Did you read it on a toilet wall? ah No, I just heard another guy in the stall next to me reading out loud on like an ebook. And I was just kind of learning as I was sitting there, shitting my brains out. That's a best place to learn. Yeah. And then I heard him say, oh, I've got to go rob that guy. I'm late. And so I stabbed him through the stall wall.
00:41:30
Speaker
Yikes. So after having these conversations, you get to the train tracks and ah you're at the train tracks. You don't see anything quite close enough yet, but um you're at the train tracks. So and you were like pretty heavy armor soup. If you stand on a train tracks and a train comes, would you survive that? I'm sorry. Are you asking me if I got hit by a train, if I'd live?
00:41:58
Speaker
If you could survive the train hit, yes. I'd like to see if that could work. Uh, I mean, I would rather not just stand there and get hit, but, uh, why would we want to derail the train? That would fuck up the whole and entire process. Everything get tossed around. We don't know what we're getting in the car. If that, if that could be a thing, like but who's stronger, stupid or train? I bet you I could cut a train in half if it came at me directly.
00:42:27
Speaker
No, you're pretty metal. It would be scrap metal. Yeah. When I'm done with it. So what's our plan? Yeah. Boss and boss, which one of these boss? I'm going to shoot this big ass gun is harpoon here at the side of that train. And we're going to rip the side off of it and we're going to just jump in there, pull the stuff out, throw it on the back of this here hog wagon and get the hell out of there.
00:42:57
Speaker
Probably kill a couple goons on the way, but hey, that's just part of the fun. All right. I think I'm not, I'm not understanding your physics here. You want to shoot a harpoon and pull the face off of the side of one of the walls of the car off, right? Yeah. Look at this thing. It's got like, uh, then the train is still going to be moving. You just have ripped the wall off. Yeah. That's our access. We're going to be driving alongside of it because we got the best damn hands in the business here on the wheel.
00:43:21
Speaker
Right, wouldn't you want to maybe drop one of us off or onto this onto the train first? That way when you do it, we already got people on the train to get the stuff. Well, how do you think you're getting on the train, brother? I'm going to open the wall up for you. We have snow drive alongside and we just jumped on the train. John, did you not tell these guys there's things like just a wall to wall, just block of metal? Oh yeah, guys, this thing's a wall to wall block of metal. ah You could probably get it maybe in the front door, but these things are locked down tight. They're carrying those dub dub weapons and all that stuff, you know what they call them, no you know?
00:43:53
Speaker
So we need to crank our own wall first. Or our own door, I mean. Yeah, man. What you think I was going to do is for fun. I mean, it's going to be fun. But yeah, yeah, we got a whole reason behind this giant thing here. If we're not screwing over the right people, just know that I'm going to I'm going to chop you both in half. Cool, brother. I just want you to know that. Yes, I say so. I didn't like the guy at first crawling in the weeds, but he's pretty he's got some got some some stones in that metal suit. Hey, you're a pretty funny guy. I like you.
00:44:23
Speaker
That's fine. I don't like you someday. What do you keep saying? So now you keep mumbling something about what X is. ah but what saying you yeah saying I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't say anything. All right, ladies. All right, ladies. Come on enough with ah the squawk talk. Listen, I can hear a rumbling in the distance. It's coming. Tails all puffed up.
00:44:50
Speaker
Don't anybody look back there. You can't see anything. if What? You have a tail too? A front tail, yes. Yeah. It's like a front stinger on a bee. I seen a guy down at um the discount cybernetic shop. He had his ass on the front. They fucked him up real good. Dang. I did that once to a guy when I twisted his torso behind him.
00:45:16
Speaker
Damn, man. Hey, and front butt. Hey, boss, if this a harpoon saw a thing of yours doesn't work, we can only get him to rip this thing open. That sounds like he ripped people in half. See, that's what I was saying. Evan, how come you don't just use, like, your little magic mumbo-jumbo just to stop the train? That's not quite how my magic works. it's Not that precise. Well, you can squirt water on a lockbox, but you can't squirt a tidal wave on a train and stop it.
00:45:45
Speaker
It's only like a sword, it's not a huge cannon that can shoot water. What can you do? I don't really know what your skill set is anymore, aside from kinda being okay at hacking stuff. You know, I can do some slashing, some shooting with the sword, some protection. You know? Alright, so why don't you cast the protection spell on me, and then I'll stand in front of the train and stop it.
00:46:12
Speaker
That's what I've been saying the whole time, yeah. No, you didn't say you'd put a spell on me. That's true, I guess. About the base that he was mine. Whatever, dude. I'm not talking about who gets credit for it. We're not getting brownie points from the teacher over here. Just trying to figure out how to get this training business taken care of. So I can go back to beating up fools in the alley.
00:46:34
Speaker
But I actually kind of like the idea of to help Poon, so let's do that. Oh, yeah. So thanks for wasting my time in it. You're welcome. um And Snow Spear, ah you see a train in the distance zipping along gunmetal gray, just a big block of metal cheese coming down the tracks. And it says sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar. a And um No, but no, who no horns actually. No, no horns. um No, it's just somebody yelling out the it's just somebody yelling out the window. like ah ah sure we got so We got some train. We got some train watches here. Staying on the side of the train tracks to buzz off your tricks. Get a new hobby. Get a new hobby from watching trains and yelling at them. I like that. That's just people so bored to just watch trains. There's some people that people do love trains, which they pull along the side of the road and want to train.
00:47:26
Speaker
I've seen it. Anyway, yeah, Snowspear, you got the driving sticks under your feet and in your hands. um The train is about to zip right past you and you're going to be trying to catch alongside it to the third train car. So would you, as it zips by, roll me some driving roll to do your mumbo jumbo?
00:47:46
Speaker
driving five. OK, you're rocking, rocking over those rocks and those bumps and jumps and you're keeping it on level with the third car. Not super perfect, but it's pretty OK. And. um um Nobody's a wild card here today, so I'm just going to use my generic goon sheet for the good guys and teams the guys in your team and anybody else might show up. So I'm going to roll a shooting with the Boss Williams, and he gets a five too, which he shoots that harpoon and it kind of shoots over the thing. ah if We're going to give him some negatives based on the the driving and all this bullshit going on.
00:48:18
Speaker
Um, and he's like, God damn, it's no spear. Come on. You can't keep a single level for me. He starts rinking. He's like, starts cranking it back in. you Like the chain over is over top of the train and starts like rattling back over and he's pulling it back in. I'm fucking trying. it All right. We'll get this thing on a damn level. And, uh, Johnny is getting like his duffel bag open. He puts like a helmet on top of his head and he pulls out a shotgun and all this bullshit. Um,
00:48:44
Speaker
Roll me another driving roll of snow spears. You're rumbling across the desert plains that are bumpy. Oh, another five. Oh shit. Okay. Let's see if he can shoot again. Oh shit. He fucks it up too. God damn it. Somebody when i there steady that damn wheel. Evan, don't you have some sort of spell you can cast to make this guy shoot better? Unfortunately not. No.
00:49:07
Speaker
ah I'll do it, my damn self. Just give me. I'm just going to throw it. Throw it. You crazy. All right, man. Try it. dan All right. It's going to fucking check it. All right. Athletics. All right. Throwing as a seven. seven treat ah you Yeah, he clangs in like the little piece and he's like, oh, shit. And he's he pulls a lever and it like ah shoots a big like ah like sort of like some hooks and some blades out and she was like in the side of the thing. And he starts cranking it back in.
00:49:35
Speaker
snow spear as he's cranking on that thing. You're getting drug a little by the train now and he's pulling against it to do another driving roll. Oh, geez Louise. bla bla A whole fuck baby driver over here.
00:49:48
Speaker
um yeah And, uh, that thing gets, uh, starts to rank off their rink, right. And the metal's getting chugged and rugged and tugged. And, um, it's getting chugged, rugged, hand-tugged. Oh fuck. And, uh, you hear a little noise. It goes, and on top of the train car, two turrets pop out at you guys. Oh shit. Um, we got to roll some cards, I guess, not roll. How about now, Evan? What do you got for that, Evan? Now it's my time to do stuff.
00:50:19
Speaker
Everybody gets a big wrap to Jesus. um So, yeah, there's there's things shooting at you guys. Who's first, Jack? Evan, you're first up. There's things that come out of the top of the thing. What are you going to do with yourself, brother? um How close is the car to the train? Could I like jump over it? like good train You could reasonably try. It's a little far, but and you're in an action hero game so you can try it and it'd probably be OK if you get a good role. And I'll try to jump on a train. Yeah, i try to jump on a train. Yeah, that's like jumping on the train. Oh, shit. Yeah.
00:50:47
Speaker
feet of athletics brother guys are yeah where the guns are you jumping at the guns 13 you jump on top of that train motherfucker and there's two gun turrets on either side of you on the train okay then i go there and slash at both them they're on either side of the train you can't slash both of them at once I can do a multi act. Oh, we can only do one movement, though. I was going to say, how far can you move? Because if they're on either side of the way, are they on when you say they're on either side of the train train car that you're on and it's like probably like 10 feet long, maybe, maybe more. Probably like, eh, how long is the train car? I don't know. I guess ask Google said by how long is the average train car? Let's all learn something today, guys. Trains. Yeah. yeah Let's see.
00:51:31
Speaker
It varies, but the train cars, the rail cars used for transporting dimensional shipments are flat cars, usually over 60 feet in length, but the average looks to be between 39 and 50 feet. Okay, that's fine. um So, okay, nevermind. It's like, let's let's just say this thing's 20 feet across. You probably couldn't run between both of them. You could shoot a little bow with the other one if you wanted to, though. i can I'll just go to one of them and slice slice it twice. Slice it twice, because it's nice. Okay, do two slices on that gun turret.
00:51:59
Speaker
That's a five. Okay. And a 14. Holy shiznit. You hit it both times, brother. And fucking what the hell happens with a four? Doesn't have high parry. He rolls his damage.
00:52:13
Speaker
That's seven damage. And burn on the one right. OK, the one the ace is on, he gets to use his boner damage, which is 13. Yeah. So, yeah, you chop right through that thing slash one time through it. You chop like one of the barrels off. You slash again. You chop like most of it off. And it's just it's just like a little base of things spinning back and forth going, my right, right, right. Shooting sparks and shit. You've destroyed that thing. And it's useless.
00:52:38
Speaker
Nice. I'm going to add your Joe. That's your turn right there. Who's next? Snow spear McFurry face. You're driving this dank car. First of all, this isn't going to interact with any of your things. You can do other shit, but I'm going to make you do a driving role to see if you keep this thing under control still because there's a lot going on.
00:52:54
Speaker
Nine. Hell yeah. You're freaking rocking that shit. You're keeping that thing straight on track. No bullets from gun turrets, no physics from getting yanked by the train and getting the train yanked on is fucking with you. um Anything you want to do while you're sitting there driving the car or anything special you want to do with yourself?
00:53:11
Speaker
i Nope. OK, good. Don't risk the driving situation. She's going to concentrate on driving. Smart. Hey, if you're listening to this in your car, country I'm driving.
00:53:24
Speaker
Exactly. Yeah. Leave this play forever. Leave all of our our podcast episodes. Just play and just drive. Yes. OK, next is the gun turrets turn. It's going to shoot it. The one that's left is going to shoot over at what's his name? Evan Almighty. I'm already five. Is that shooting how it works differently? That's right. So that hits you, brother. You're fucked now. We're going to give it a assault rifle damage. um That's an eight rifle. Yeah.
00:53:55
Speaker
It's an eight of damage there, buddy. What's that do to you? I find my toughness, Dustin. Typically, if it's a salt rifle and it's firing multiple bullets, you would roll damage for each bullet. Oh, bullets, Adrian. That's right. It is. So you have to. You have to like hear it it's whatever like the firing rate is, is like how you calculate that. Evan, there's three. If it's a three round burst, that means you roll it for three bullets. Oh, shit, Evan. Oh, or see one of them did eleven. I feel like they probably do they add all add together or do they do separate damage? Do you know that, Adam?
00:54:25
Speaker
I'm pretty sure that they all these bullet does its own separate cuz you can mark Which because you can um you can mark multiple targets with guns that fire more than once I was gonna say I'd be pretty psychotic if it did like see ya thousand damage and one go yeah So yeah, so yeah, you get well two of those definitely not doing damage to you ones and eleven. Would you say your toughness is? Nine, so I'm definitely like shakes. Okay. Yeah, you get shook as a bullet strikes across your metal back. Oh Oh, shit. And I tried to hold on to like the turret I destroyed to not fall off. Oh, man, that's that's good. Good, careful action there. And then as that's happening as well. Let's just say out of some other pockets somewhere, some drones fly out of these things like three of them. They're coming at you as fucking drones. ah And
00:55:10
Speaker
Who's next? Uh, the guy's boss Williams busy. He's got the gun, the harpoon. So, um, what's his face? Uh, Tommy's like, all right, time for Tommy Wayne to shine. He's going to shoot at one of the, oh man, a 10. He's going to shoot a shotgun at one of the flying contraptions. Um, and he's doing his damage 15. Holy shit. He just skeet shoots one of those things out of the air. Um, and it's, it's pieces rain down all over the desert. You could participate in Olympics.
00:55:39
Speaker
Hell, yeah, brother. That's what I'm talking about. yeah around My voice is fucked up. I'm going to go for I'm going to go for Swedish breakdancing. Nice topical. ah yeah And then stupid. Your turn. Last up on the leaderboard. Oh, it's my turn. I get a turn. and That's cool. um So we are. Are we on the left or the right side of the train tracks? The right side. I didn't say that, but I imagine you're on the right side or on the right side.
00:56:09
Speaker
firing over the the the harpoon is still in the side of the thing. Yeah, it's crashing made him do a roll to crank. It's cranking off there. um might Let me make him do it. I don't know. I'm just going to grab the fucking chain and say maybe he and I can teamwork yanking it out.
00:56:22
Speaker
OK, OK, you're doing it. If or if he yanks it out, then I'm just going to spin the harpoon around and try to just hit all those fuckers up in the air with it. If we let me, I should have done that on his. Let me make him do a shooting role when he did. He got a he got a one. So he's not doing very good. Yank and the others. This thing's kind of jammed up since we didn't shoot it right. God, that's my excuse. um So you can try and you can try and yank it if you want.
00:56:45
Speaker
Uh, yeah, I'm going to like just kind of flex my biceps and plant my feet like down and like, you know, I, if it's kind of like that, one of those borderlands cars, I'm just going to like stand up like through the rebar and shit and grab ahold of the chain. Yeah. Um, and then just like give it the old heave ho, uh, and see if I can, uh, yank that fucker loose. Okay, brother, roll some strength. That sounds pretty strong stuff to me there. If I ever heard about being strong.
00:57:10
Speaker
Mm hmm. And don't fuck it up a five. OK, yeah, you can't get some more. It comes off the there's like a little opening. I mean, you could probably squeeze your bodies in there, but if there's big boxes, you probably be able to get them out too easily. But you definitely have yanked it a little further. It's like a door size like there's a there's an opening. Yeah, yeah. OK, that's good to know. ah Yeah, I think I'm just going to just keep keep doing that because I want to just have it loose because apparently this guy doesn't know how to he use a fucking harpoon. Yeah. um and just keep yanking that sucker loose since it's jammed right now or whatever. So that's what I'm going to spend my turn just doing, just trying to yank it out the rest of the way. I'll give you another chance to do it because it's a stupid thing. So he's going to yank it again, brother. And you know, no negatives, nothing. Just kind of yank that shit. Everybody's busy shooting and killing and driving.
00:57:57
Speaker
ah has a four tree chances for success. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can't get a little further. You get it a little more than like a normal door size. So you feel like if there was some oblong boxes in there, you could probably squeeze them out of that. Fair enough. It'd be a little bit of a finagle pivot, pivot, but you'd be able to get them out. All right. Yeah. Then I use the rest of my turn just to, yo, this is kind of fun. Is there an Olympic sport for this? And just like, yeah, can make it one.
00:58:23
Speaker
You're not even in the car, Evan. Get out. You can't hear me over the train as loud as shit. And you're getting shot at. And you can't talk right now. You can't act. I just like, yeah as I said, do we have like intercoms that we're talking talking on or some shit? You guys, the Avengers, do you have Bluetooth? Yeah, do we have do we have like eight thousand little micro um ah headsets that everybody talks to on the same channels and doesn't get bogged down at all? OK. Yeah.
00:58:53
Speaker
Yeah, sounds good. Anyway, I've done the cards and the ah the little weenie boys have a a king, so they're going first. So the dr they go the weenies have a king. The gun turret is going to shoot at you ah again, Evan. Not again. Watch out an A totally cannoli. That is a raise on a basic requirement, my friend. So you're fucked, by the way.
00:59:16
Speaker
the Oh, it's a shotgun. Hold on. I know you're rolling shotgun damage. Ignore that. So I believe that believe that I was going to say you're on a 20 and a 22. Evan will be. Well, OK, 19 and three. It's 21. the Right. I do. So that's 22. Oh, my God. Now that's 22. Oh, my God. I was going to be dead. OK. OK. Seven and four. All right. All right. So so. OK. Before. OK. So recap. Twenty two damage. Twenty four damage.
00:59:58
Speaker
also much strange And eleven damage. What's your toughness there? Nineteen, fourteen. He has toughness is nine. Yes. and nine a now Now, Adrian. You have a couple of bennies on you. Yeah, you could roll. You could roll for. um Soak damage. How that would work is you would.
01:00:22
Speaker
You can only do it for how many bennies that you have, but you can mitigate the damage that you're taking from... You can do it per bullet. So if you roll high on one soak, then you soak that damage of the first bullet, and then you can do it again if you have another Benny for the next one. um You can't do it to absorb all of it at once, but you can do it per bullet. So if you want to...
01:00:42
Speaker
You could do that. No, I just want to die. but Of course. and A bold choice. I'm just explaining how you would do it. It's for the audience and for Justin, because he's still learning how to GM the game. Yeah. um Then I'll use both our pennies to soak on two of those bullets. Well, roll for one first, because you might want to use that one again.
01:01:07
Speaker
um so so So first we have to calculate how many Cause the highest that you can cap is three wounds from one attack, right? So you need to roll at least three, you need to roll at least a 12 to soak three wins. So instead of having to roll like 22 amounts, like you don't have to match the damage. You have to match like raises. So if you can roll at least a 12, you can mitigate at least three wounds of damage from one of those bullets, but you roll the five. So that would cut one wound from the maximum three that that first bullet would do to you.
01:01:43
Speaker
Mm hmm. Because you have nine and then it would go up to twelve, then to fifteen, then to eighteen, then to twenty one. So that's like four. So the maximum is three. So do you want to keep that one for the first soak? No, I'm sorry. working like We're looking at the nineteen. So yeah, you would still be three that you have to do. Yeah. So do you want to do you want to keep that one for the first one?
01:02:10
Speaker
Yeah. And then I'll do the other one for the other bullet. All right. So that's two wounds you're still taking. Yeah. You're still taking a lot of words. Yeah, it's kind of really unfortunate what's happening. I feel like i even if he I mean, both of those. Now, it doesn't necessarily mean that he dies, but he would be fully incapacitated and you would have to resolve like either like a severe injury that he would get or if narratively it makes more sense. Then it's just like, OK, my character is dead. He's dead. Correct me if I'm wrong.
01:02:39
Speaker
both of those bullets are doing like a shitload of wounds to them. They, yeah, the maximum that a one wound, one attack can do is three wounds. Um, like that's like the mercy rule of savage worlds. Um, but if he has three wounds and he takes three more wounds, you know what I mean? Like, like then that's a little different, but he can only take up to three wounds all at once. Okay.
Evan's Fate and Emotional Impact
01:03:04
Speaker
So I got two, now roll the two for my second soak roll.
01:03:07
Speaker
So not the total wounds that you have taken are because you soaked up one from the first one. So there's two from the first one. You take the full three from the second one. You don't get. Oh, and you take one from the the third one because it got the bonus damage. So you've taken two, five, six wounds.
01:03:25
Speaker
You soaked one. Evan is dead, ladies and gentlemen. So so you could kind of resolve narratively what you think happens. Like since you are part cyborg, you could say like part that part lives and you're just like a pi a pile of pieces on the train. i'll just say yeah I don't want to kill you outright. But on a protocol activates.
01:03:45
Speaker
That's the fun of protocol. Yeah, like some safety protocol that just like all his vital, like, electronical pieces that keep him alive or like what's firing right now and like all of his human parts are just blown off. yeah ah Yeah, as you fall down, you clank on the top of the thing, you hear your sister's voice, Evan. She says, Evan, don't leave me. Whatever. your sister saying so yeah Jesus Christ. Was that bad? No, I mean, just I'm looking at the wounds. so ah But I definitely fall like off the train, so that kind of sucks. so yeah I'm not going to get followed. You fall straight back and you like kind of get caught on the little gun turret nub you cut up. You're like just you're there limp. Your arms are kind of streaming behind you as the train goes. yeah Unless he wants to fall off the train. like yeah i guess Unless you want to fall do you want to fall off the train.
01:04:34
Speaker
I think I want to fall off the train, yeah. Okay. Maybe maybe some some gross little scavenger guy's going to find him and piece him back together. Exactly. Maybe a little rat man. No. Meanwhile, as like i like his bits and pieces and the rest of his whole part of his body fall off the train. I'm like tugging on this chain and yank it open. I'm just like, ah. You know what I want to do? ah but Like I get shot and then I get caught in a chain. and then i Because I get caught in a chain, the whole thing rips open.
01:05:05
Speaker
You get caught in the chain, so like your limp body, just like as it falls onto the ground, like. Does it does it does a yank? Yeah, it does a yank. You just pull it off. Well, let me see what's your but what What would what would we do to roll your body's weight in less like your character? God damn it. Roll your body's weight in attacking. Roll roll. of Do a vigor roll as you fall down, Evan. On the chain. also You bounce off the chain and nothing happens, but at least at least everybody knows everybody notices you got knocked off the train, though.
01:05:34
Speaker
ah that My brain isn't English-ing. Exactly, because he's he's been shot. I don't happen when you get blasted, Evan. Yes. All right. Tune in next time to see what kind of rat man scavenges Evan's parts back together. And the big question is, will his dick be scar salvaged? Find out next time. Dibs.
01:07:13
Speaker
well does it look good already
01:07:39
Speaker
look good already?