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Deep Water
81 Plays9 months ago
The Erotic Thriller Club is diving back into the world of Adrian Lyne with 2022's Deep Water! You get Ana De Armas cucking Ben Affleck, there are snails, rock throwing, Lil Rel and some real hot dummies.
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Transcript
Welcome to the Erotic Thriller Club
00:00:00
Speaker
Ladies, gentlemen, folks beyond the binary, grab your husband, wife, partner, mistress some service snails and gather around your radio. It's time for this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club.
A Retired Engineer's Intriguing Life
00:01:05
Speaker
It's 2022. You're a retired software engineer responsible for the death of thousands of people. But you don't let it get you down. You've got a lovely daughter, an impressive snail collection, and a wife that just won't quit fucking young hot dudes. You don't let it get to you for the most part. You kill all of them, but you don't let it bother you. Now a nosy screenwriter is getting all up in your business. Can't everyone just let you kill and get cucked in peace?
00:01:35
Speaker
This week on the Erotic Thriller Club, deep water.
Meet the Hosts: Garrett & Kit
00:01:41
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club. As always, Garrett Callender and Kit Ryan here. And this is where we answer the genre's three most important questions. Was I aroused? Was I thrilled? And would I ruin my life for this person?
Ben Affleck's Journey Through Thrillers
00:01:58
Speaker
This week, Kit, you brought to my attention that because of poor Ben Affleck,
00:02:05
Speaker
Yes. That maybe we should do the Ben Affleck cock and movie. Yeah, yeah, I did. I am a Ben Affleck fan kit. I don't. Are you? How do you feel about Affleck? I like Affleck just fine. i I really liked him in Gone Girl. ah And ah what was it? The Tender Bar? Is that the one? He was great. He was really good. I really liked him in it.
00:02:31
Speaker
Yeah, just very light, light movie. But yeah, I don't know. I've been ah i've been a fan for of Affleck for a long time. I was a big Dazed and Confused guy. And for years, my favorite movie was Chasing Amy. That seems right. that's that's Yes, that is the garret I know.
00:02:47
Speaker
So as a Kevin Smith fan, I feel like I've evolved with Affleck's career. You know, we've really been there, watched it blossom, watched some down bits, watched The Rise again. There's been, ah you know, it's been a real rollercoaster for old Benny Affes. And no one's ever said that, I don't think, and I felt bad as soon as I did. Yeah, take it back, take it back. But that dude has had a real hard couple years. Mm-hmm.
00:03:16
Speaker
His love life is a it's not it's not as full of winners as his his movie career is. It's so funny, because if you remember, you know, Benifer brought us Geely, which really wasn't that bad. We were just sick of them. Yeah, they were going to be fine. I didn't I didn't actually see it. I don't have any notion of if it's good or not.
00:03:42
Speaker
Like it's not like good, but it is absolute. Like you and I have watched true bottom of the barrel and it is it does not even touch that. you like yeah and And I would even go so far as to say, I liked Jersey girl. So yeah, but yes, I'm a pro wrestling fan. I'm a Kevin Smith fan. Is that enough red flags for you?
00:04:02
Speaker
yeah
00:04:05
Speaker
Yes, it is. Do not ruin your life for me. Wife would agree.
The Making of 'Deep Water'
00:04:13
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I'm wondering if someday your son is going to be as protective of you to your wife as ah Ben Affleck's kid in this movie is.
00:04:25
Speaker
Good Lord, this movie, but well before let's let's just say this, this was Adrian Line's first movie in 20 years. He made he made Unbreakable.
00:04:40
Speaker
on Unfaithful, another cocken movie. um He did Unfaithful, which is actually the reason this podcast exists is because I was just like, man, I kind of want to watch Unfaithful again. I remember that being good. And then it re like-energized my love of the erotic thriller. And it took 20 years, but he made another movie. This movie was in production for like a decade.
00:05:06
Speaker
of just like trying to get it made and it not, he didn't make anything for 20 years and spent 10 kit trying to get this movie made. And COVID kind of fucked up in the end. yeah The movie is written by Sam Levinson, who is the euphoria guy.
00:05:27
Speaker
You know, the hit TV show explains why Jacob Elordi's in it. And it is based off a book from the 50s, I believe, by Patricia Highsmith, who was the author of Strangers on a Train, the talented Mr. Ripley, her and the book, I don't remember what the original title is, but they made the movie Carol.
00:05:52
Speaker
the Todd Haynes movie about that. So it is an author with a good pedigree of shit that turns into movies people like. This is true.
Critique and Reception of 'Deep Water'
00:06:02
Speaker
And then I would be so curious to see how Deep Water turned out. I like this movie, Kit. I am going to tell you that now. This is it is goofy as fuck, and it has an ending that a lot of people hate, but it is the perfect type of ending for me to make love a movie even more.
00:06:20
Speaker
i ah I'm so curious to talk about that when we get to it um because I mean, I don't know how I feel about this movie. I think I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. What's strange about this is there are essentially no thrills and because it establishes within the first 15 minutes, Ben Affleck is a murderer. They don't hide anything.
00:06:48
Speaker
What do you mean they established in the first 15 minutes he doesn't? Okay, wait, no. Just because he tells Joel he killed a guy doesn't mean he actually killed the guy. He tells Joel that he killed a guy ah with a hammer. And then later they find that man full of bullet holes. I'm not 100% convinced he actually killed that guy. So you think okay, so just so the audience knows I mean, I said it in the intro, his wife be fucking, lot of guys. But in front of him, like not like he's in the room watching and jerking off, but like he knows it's happening under his own roof. He is witnessing, the friends are witnessing, everybody knows. The the friends are concerned. um She clearly gets off on provoking him um and trying to like get a reaction out of him by,
00:07:42
Speaker
openly bringing these men around, flirting with them, kissing them while making eye contact with him.
Affleck's Complex Relationship Dynamics
00:07:50
Speaker
And their relationship is quite complicated, I would say. I would say that is accurate. His face throughout this whole movie looks exactly like his face has looked the last year and a half in real life and every paparazzi shot.
00:08:13
Speaker
He looks so sad sad. Beaten up by life. He's happiest with his snails, that's for sure. A hundred percent. There is a moment in this movie that you're going to hear me reference a million times because he's distraught in this movie a lot. Like his face, like he doesn't like, he really internalizes a lot in this movie.
00:08:37
Speaker
and just has kind of a sad face, but he's like, it's fine. It's fine. is ever I don't want to control her. I don't want to tell her what to do. He's got a really lovely friend group and they're in a constant state of being like, hey, man, I think your wife is having an affair. And he's like, it's none of our business, including my own. Can't see how that and is. ah Is anyone's business but hers? I can't even tell that the friend group likes Ana de Armas' character. She is kind of horrible. Honestly, I would hate to be friends with this couple. They are unbearable, to be honest. Like, yeah, everybody here throws great parties. They're always having a goddamn party. Someone in this group. Great parties.
00:09:28
Speaker
But then she is always doing something that makes things weird and awkward and uncomfortable. She's always inviting her boy toys, right? And then flirting with them in front of everyone. She's climbing up on the piano while drunk and then playing sad Italian songs, I guess, and ah just making everyone uncomfortable the whole time.
00:09:54
Speaker
That's why I can't tell if any of these people are her friends as well. Because none of them just feel comfortable saying to her like, hey, what are you doing? Stop that. They're always coming to Ben Affleck and being like, dude, you need to reign in your wife. Dude, what's going on with you and your wife? None of them go up to her and be like, girl, stop.
00:10:17
Speaker
I don't think any of them are even telling him to reign her in. like They are just saying, like you you see this too, right? Right? Guy, we are concerned. Your wife's in the backyard making out with this hot dummy.
00:10:33
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. She loves a hot dummy. She loves herself a himbo. But yeah, they they they always come to him. So I do get the feeling that they are his friends and that ah they don't especially like her. I do think it's funny that in his friend group, one of them is Lil Rel, who this was just in his run of being in every movie for like three years.
00:11:01
Speaker
where you couldn't turn on a movie without Lil Rel being it which is great. He's hilarious. I love him. He's his whole friend group. These are truly lovely people. I would they throw great parties. They're concerned. It seems yeahp they're looking out for their buddy.
00:11:18
Speaker
i I'll say too, Affleck is a really good father in this. He genuinely cares for his daughter. When he is doing dad things, he is doing it with an enthusiasm that shows he really loves his child and his child really loves him back.
00:11:34
Speaker
Yes, that part is very clear, although like it's it's it's also made very clear that on a Anna De Armas does not, ah she did not want this kid, she did not want this family life, she wanted to be free, and this was something she did for Ben Affleck because he wanted it. I noticed that like they sit that kid at a different table for meals.
00:12:01
Speaker
Like, oh yeah, she, what that she resents that kid. That is so bizarre that like you have a separate table for your kid at all times. And this child is basically us.
00:12:18
Speaker
we are We are the child, like the ah she is the audience, but she's also smarter than me because she is doing science things and hooking electrodes up to toys and making them move. She has a potato battery. I do remember the potato battery.
00:12:35
Speaker
I mean, throughout this whole movie, like when her mom is doing questionable shit, she is giving a real like, like ah like a kind of disappointed face. Like this seems bad. She's like, I don't like, you know, the I don't like Joel. Right. I don't like a very astute five year old. Yeah. She's like, why is mommy different around other people?
00:12:58
Speaker
And it's like, Jesus, what is this six year old scene that she is this in tune with ah her mom's weird moods and ah she like she she she's like, you kill you killed that guy, right? Dad and dad's like. Nah, and she's like, but dad for real. And he's like, yeah.
00:13:24
Speaker
Guys, this is a real conversation that happens like halfway through the movie when he's on his first kill that we we the audience have seen him do. Yes. And he he drowns a man in a pool and everybody thinks he's the killer.
00:13:40
Speaker
His wife is yelling that he's the killer. He's just giving his kid a bath and she's like, dad, you did kill him, right? Yeah. And it is such a weird conversation where it ends in a cute way with Ben Affleck saying to her, just keep it between us.
00:13:55
Speaker
Yeah, and she's like happy about it. She's like, she didn't like him either. Me and dad, me and dad got a little secret. I like that for us. The thing is, are you on his side throughout this movie? I mean, as an Affleck fan, I don't know if that's the reason. But it's hard to say because, like, obviously they set him up like he's a good dad, right? You you're automatically going to put points in his column for that.
00:14:24
Speaker
But at the same time, like, just fucking leave her, dude. He loves her, though. Stop. He can't. He doesn't want to go to therapy. Stop. Go to couples therapy. It's such a bizarre thing. i mean i And I just like as and someone in their friend group, I would hate this couple as someone who, ah you know, is potentially ah getting roped into all their weird sex shenanigans. I don't want to be a part of this.
00:15:01
Speaker
I've been part of this. Garrett, when have you been a part of this? i You know everybody, every single person involved. um ah i like It was a true this situation, but I don't know. They were both doing it. I was friends with the husband and wife and the two people that were fucking the husband and wife. And there were times that I would go on. Wait, were you like the the the you're the goofy friend throwing the garden party at this at this juncture? Like in this scenario, you were the goofy garden party friends.
00:15:42
Speaker
<unk> There was a time that three of us, me and three of them went to the movie. The husband, the husband the the husband the wife, and the wife's boyfriend. How did, okay, but like, were they just like a polycule type of deal? We're like, no, no. it was It was super bizarre. I never really understood it. It was never really even talked about, but I knew like, it was like this. We knew what was happening. Well, one, because one of the people that he was banging, I was friends with as well. So like, I would be around. in Okay. but
00:16:23
Speaker
What I'm curious what this looks like from because this was something that I talked about with my fiance is like, obviously, if Anna De Armas wants to fuck you, you're going to fuck her. Like if you're surfer boy, Joel, or a sustainable housing building, Tony, doesn't matter who you are.
00:16:45
Speaker
Piano, Jacob Elordi. Piano, it doesn't matter. She wants to fuck you. The answer is yes. But if she invites you over to meet her husband and have dinner with her and her husband and her kid and like, I don't think I'd go. it's This is where shit is super weird. And I have to ask you this. Is this like a consensual game between the two of them where they just try and like,
00:17:15
Speaker
I don't know, out cringe each other or just like the game is make each other uncomfortable but you both still love each other? Do you get off on like the game? I don't think they talk to each other enough. I don't think they have good enough communication skills that any of this is like consensual disgust as adults, right? Like this is just a weird game they're playing with each other where she is trying to provoke him because she wants him to be a more passionate person, right? And she and demonstrate that he loves her. And she's trying to provoke him. And he is a guy that is fine with the fact that he invented a chip that ah murders people by the thousands via drones. Like he is clearly compartmentalized his life way too neatly. He doesn't get
00:18:10
Speaker
provoked that easily and so like it's a weird little um toxic game they are playing with each other. Just an unspoken game. Yes. and I do not think that this is anything that they have the capability to even say like, hey, I'm kind of into cooking you. Hey, I'm kind of into being cucked, but also like not into being cucked. And it makes me really mad. and yeah too Yeah, to everybody he says, it it doesn't bother me. that If it doesn't bother me, it shouldn't bother you.
00:18:46
Speaker
And his face doesn't say that it doesn't bother him. ah the fact that he The fact that he murders these people also says that it bothers him, Garrett. The fact that he has to go into his snail room and hold his service snails that that ab absorb all of his anxieties and stress. My emotional support snail.
00:19:08
Speaker
These snails, there's a moment in this where his wife has been banging Jacob Elordi and he goes to this sink and he's holding a snail and he's just wetting the snail in the sink. And he's having flashes of his wife having an affair while they're driving. And she's fingering herself and then uses that to give Jacob Elordi a hand job, which pretty hot.
00:19:33
Speaker
Pretty hot, very hot. I would say it's definitely giving like vibes of the killers like ah him like in the end. She's touching his chest now. Like is all just in his head that he is having this flash of a thing he definitely did not see but he is thinking about it.
00:19:54
Speaker
So from now on, anybody, if you get angry and you need to cool down, go wet your snails. go we that well Just like throughout this whole movie, if he, if you could see the meter going up in his head that he's boiling up, I'm just like, buddy, go wet your snails. It's going to, it's going to mellow you out. You just got to wet them down. The snail likes it. You like it. Everybody's happy. Everybody's happy. whoze fraba wet your snail The snails are a fascinating metaphor that I would love to discuss with you by the way. yeah So first of all, he talks about how like a snail will climb over like a 10 foot wall to get to its mate, right? So snails are apparently monogamous. They will like do a lot for
00:20:38
Speaker
you know, to get to their partner. Right. So that's we're we're clearly talking about his relationship there. But also they specifically say the snails are not there for him to eat. When ah Tony, the sustainable housing building guy is like, why don't we eat some snails? I believe that is the moment when Ben Affleck is like, I'm going to kill this guy, not because he's my wife, because he wants to eat my snails.
00:21:04
Speaker
That really truly did bother him. Yeah, it bothered him a lot. No, they're not pets. They are more than that. They're family. Family. They're friends. They're the only people in his life that understand love no matter what and don't ask about people fucking my wife.
Snails as a Metaphor in Affleck's Life
00:21:26
Speaker
It's true. They're the only people in his life that are not constantly harassing him with, is your wife cheating on you, my man? Hey, are you okay with this? Like your wife is your wife's cheating on you, dude. Hey, you want to go to another garden party and watch your wife flirt with some other guy, huh? ah The snails never asked that. yeah Sometimes you don't want to talk about your trauma. You just want to watch football and the snails will watch.
00:21:52
Speaker
They will. But OK, so he says not only are the snails not for eating, sir, ah the only way that you could do this, that you could eat a snail is to starve at first.
00:22:05
Speaker
that you have to starve it. Which I found interesting. I didn't know this. Did you? Yes. No, but I looked it up afterwards that apparently. It's true. It is true. The stuff that snails eat is good for snails, but bad for people. And they don't fully digest it in a way that would make it harmless to humans. And you can't like pull the guts out of a snail. You eat a snail whole. So the only way to make it safe for consumption is to starve the snail so that it um is completely empty of any like fecal matter or digestive stuff and then you can eat it safely. Apparently in real life there is a more humane way to do it. You can feed them only grape leaves which are safe for humans for like a long period of time and they'll be happy with grape leaves and then you can eat them without having to starve them. But it's a good metaphor right for his relationship with his wife because
00:23:03
Speaker
The only way for him to control, eat her, right, would be to starve her of the thing that she wants, which is to flirt with a bunch of himbos. And he's not willing to do that. He wants to just look at the snail slash his wife, wants her to be happy, does not want to starve her, does not want to control her. They're not his pets, right? They're not for eating. They are um something that brings him peace and joy to look at. That is right. No joke, it really, the first time you see him not look morose, is when he goes to the snail and he's holding one, no joke, a smile creeps across his face and as he gets a little teary-eyed, and he isn't teary-eyed from the cooking, he is teary-eyed from snail joy.
00:24:02
Speaker
Yes. Yes. There's a serious question of whether this man is like fully mentally like capable of experiencing emotions. like Is he a sociopath? Because he's super chill about all the people he's responsible for the deaths of, including those that he has done with his own hands and those he has killed with computer chips.
00:24:28
Speaker
um
00:24:31
Speaker
He's- I don't know. There's- I don't know either.
Introducing Affleck's Nemesis
00:24:35
Speaker
He does seem happy at times though, like, so one of the parties we go to in this movie is when we meet his nemesis, which is Don Wilson, screenwriter, who is played by- Played by Tracy Letts, isn't it? Yeah, Tracy Letts, who wrote- The great Tracy Letts. Who wrote two William Friedkin movies. He wrote Bug and he wrote Killer Joe.
00:25:00
Speaker
He's also a noted playwright. I believe he's ah frequently a Chicago playwright. He's one of ours. so He's in a ton of movies. Ton of stuff. But this is a writer with a a hot teacher wife. He is an aging, I would say failed writer at this point. He didn't seem like he was successful.
00:25:22
Speaker
No. He mentions that he has sold some screenplays, but none of them have actually been made into movies. And the movie he's describing doesn't sound very good that he has written. It sounds like something a 20 year old would write.
00:25:37
Speaker
not a 60-year-old man or 55. Well, he says that it's based on, you know, the main character's based on himself. It's a young man and it's like, hmm, is it? yeah it's He wrote himself as a little detective and he fancies himself a little detective. yes And Affleck at the beginning of the movie to one of the Himbos tells him that he killed his wife's boyfriend.
00:26:04
Speaker
Martin McRae. Martin McRae, who you you keep hearing come up. And then even all of his friends are like, I hear you killed Martin McRae. That was really funny that you told that guy that you killed your wife's boyfriend. and I mean, we all know you wouldn't do it. ah So this guy is like, oh, I know you. You killed Martin McRae. And when he's sitting there and they're going back and forth talking,
00:26:30
Speaker
Affleck just seems happy. He's like, yeah, I like hanging out with my wife. I love playing with my daughter. I love mountain biking. I love and my poetry slash photography zine that I self publish. i selfp publishlish Oh, man, that's like my my goal. I mean, I guess this is our zine. This is our self-published zine. I guess I don't need needed on real paper. No one's reading that anyway. Just as well. shouting I don't think anyone and no one is reading Ben Affleck's ah poetry slash photography zine either. The guy is clearly retired young and is has has filled his life with hobbies.
00:27:10
Speaker
and garden parties that he doesn't even drink at. So- Garden parties, great friends. I really think Hot Wife, who is fucking a lot of other people, and it doesn't seem like he doesn't get to fuck her. Just not that much. Yes. She clearly does- Because we do see them- Yes. She's like, kiss my ass. And he seems so happy- He just dives in there. He dove straight in and respect.
00:27:39
Speaker
Absolutely. And so like it tells you to lick her butthole. You are getting in there and you are licking that ball. No, no doubt about it. That's why when you're like when he metaphorically eats her and I'm like metaphorically.
00:27:55
Speaker
Hey. The sex scenes between them. I mean, you see Anna de Armas like pretty casually naked a lot because she's just like a mean lady who is naked.
00:28:07
Speaker
Well, she's Italian, so she's. It's cultural. It's cultural. She doesn't mind being nude all the time. Pulling her titties out in front of the babysitter. Poor babysitter. She sees too much. I felt for that babysitter. She sees. Then again, she got paid 200 bucks for five hours worth of of babysitting. Like a pretty low maintenance child. Pretty low maintenance child. Honestly, it seems like I would do it, I would take it. 200 bucks and I got to see Anna de Armas' tits. Not a problem. which This is Anna de Armas' second erotic thriller. She was also in Knock Knock, the Eli Roth movie, where she was alongside Keanu Reeves. I did not see that one. Affleck, who we didn't see nude in this one, but he did Hang Dong and Gone Girl.
00:29:00
Speaker
Ah, yes. Yes, you can. So I think it's like kind of crazy that you do show your penis for Fincher, but then you do a movie with the master of the erotic thriller, Adrienne Line, and Don't Whip Your Penis Out.
00:29:13
Speaker
I'm not sure if that was an artistic choice, though, to show his wife naked, but not him. If that if there's something about, you know, him being clothed, buttoned up, you know? Like, he's he's not as ah sexually free as his wife is.
00:29:32
Speaker
Maybe, I mean, he's got, he's certainly repressing some things, but he does love his wife. He's willing to have sex with her. Like he he also does threaten another boyfriend. And when they're riding in a car together, she starts to suck on his penis some in the car. And she bites his penis once playfully a second time, mean.
00:29:55
Speaker
Mean. And it's it's OK. So what what has just happened before that is he was at a garden party, of course. Surprise, surprise. And he was dancing with ah Don the screenwriter's hot young wife. yeah And they had just made so many comments about how he doesn't dance. He's embarrassing. He can't dance. But like, turns out he totally can. He looks totally great out there. He's totally fine.
00:30:24
Speaker
And um it kind of turns his wife on that, you know, he was out there dancing with another woman, like that little bit of jealousy clearly turns her on. And she's like, asking him, like, do you want to fuck her? And he's like, I mean, that wasn't the first thought that came to mind. She's like, but do you want to fuck her? And he's like, yeah. And then that's when she starts giving him road head.
00:30:52
Speaker
And then she asks, if she it does he think she would be a better fuck than her? And he doesn't answer and that's when she bites him. I think that the pretty school teacher probably would be better if you're looking for
00:31:13
Speaker
something in return, like you know like an emotional return on on your coitus. But if what you're looking for is an extraordinarily hot Italian woman to boss you around and not take your feelings into consideration at all, then you've already got yeah exactly what you're looking for right here at home.
00:31:36
Speaker
He really likes being dominated, but not like with whips and chains, just emotionally dominated, where she's like, you cannot fuck me, but you can lick my butthole. And he's like, yeah with with pleasure, miss. With gusto.
00:31:54
Speaker
Yeah, and they show him doing these little acts of service for her over and over again where he's like putting on her shoes for her and like putting lotion on her body for her and then being kicked out of the room after you have just oiled up your woman.
00:32:11
Speaker
So I guess we should get because the the first himbo skips town. He basically tells him again. I murdered him with a hammer. Get the fuck out of town. Lucky Joel makes the right choice to skip town. He's like a blonde surfer boy esque himbo. And this leads to a fascinating conversation between um our two leads where Ben Affleck is like,
00:32:39
Speaker
I wish you'd pick somebody with a little more brains. And she's like, our brains, what what does it for you and a woman? And he's like, I like it's part of it. And she's like, why dance with the pretty teacher? Yeah, she's smart. And they have the question. It says she says, Joel may be dumb, but he makes me enjoy who I am. And that turns me on. And. Uh.
00:33:08
Speaker
She says that she says Ben. ah No, she says she is intelligent, but in a way that Ben Affleck doesn't respect. And that I found fascinating, like there's clearly some weirdness going on here in terms of their relationship, like that she doesn't feel like he respects her. As a smart person, and then again, like She doesn't do a lot of smart person shit. right What does she do? That's especially intelligent. Like what are her hobbies? Garrett fucking Himbo's is her hobby.
00:33:54
Speaker
Ben Affleck is retired but has lots of hobbies, right? He's watching his daughter and and raising her. He's mountain biking. He's got his poetry. Self-publishing a zine. He's got a zine.
00:34:09
Speaker
yeah does She clearly does not have a job but and she doesn't bother parenting. Oh, when she's making a sandwich for a kid in one scene, she looks absolutely fucking disgusted that she has to do mom stuff. Absolutely disgusted. she's she is I've never seen anyone put mayonnaise on bread with such disdain. if i'll I will put mayonnaise on this bread, but you must lick my butthole with gusto, Madam, with gusto. With gusto!
00:34:41
Speaker
And then he licks butthole, she leaves, he goes, wets a snail and cries in the garage. And his snails don't make a cool room. They're in like a Dexter room, like a place Dexter would comfortably murder somebody and dispose of them. I'm sorry, back to what you said. It's a snail shed that has a lot of plastic curtains and misters, you know, like you do. So like, I'm,
00:35:08
Speaker
I do kind of wonder like why the hell he's in this relationship to begin with if he doesn't respect her. Why did he have a family with someone who doesn't want a kid? like Ben, you've made bad choices. that got like I get it, she's gorgeous. But come on.
00:35:30
Speaker
Well, obviously we're missing a lot. we're We are at the the tail end or the middle of like a bad relationship. We didn't get the meet cute. we already they are They have like a five or six year old at this point. So, you know, maybe things were good before the kid. She didn't want the kid. Things started going downhill from there.
00:35:50
Speaker
But he never stopped loving what they had at some point, I would guess. Right. And that's true. She does say like if if you weren't with me, you'd be so bored that you'd kill yourself. Like clearly she.
00:36:07
Speaker
She thinks that what she brings to the relationship is- What an asshole. What I bring to the relationship is that I flirt with other men and that gets you both turned on and really mad. And if you didn't have that in your life, what would you have? Jesus Christ. Well, yeah, I guess one of his other hobbies is he gets to kill men and take like a little- This is his fun new hobby.
Affleck's Descent into Violence
00:36:37
Speaker
His next murder is Jacob Elordi, garden party, swimming party.
00:36:45
Speaker
Things are going great. Piano man, piano man. Great party until Jacob Elordi shows up and everybody's uncomfortable. everybody It gets to be towards the end of the night. The party is like kind of cleared out, but you know the the core friend group's still hanging and it ends up being Lil Rel, Ben Affleck, and Jacob Elordi in the pool. Lil Rel leaves. Turns out Don the writer is lurking in the balcony watching. Disappears. Affleck comes in.
00:37:13
Speaker
And after a couple minutes, they realize, oh my God, Jacob Lord is dead in the pool. It was around this time that I wrote in my notes, I would not be friends with these people. I don't care how fun their parties are. I don't mind a body in the pool. Like, I don't think that's going to ruin my pool. That's not going to ruin your party. No, I didn't really like him to begin with. And honestly, they're the most exciting couple we know.
00:37:42
Speaker
ah Yeah, but I think it's around the time. it's It's when she starts like screaming, he killed, you know, he killed my husband, killed my boyfriend. And everyone has to be like, stop it, lady, come on. It's one of those couples, though, that you don't really like them, but it's so fun to talk about them when you get home.
00:38:05
Speaker
Oh, I bet that's true, actually, because you know they do. They absolutely do. And they're like, did you see the way that she was all over that hambo? Yeah, you know, yeah, you're definitely like, oh, man, that one was pretty hot tonight. Like the blonde one seemed kind of dumb. But that this guy, the way he tickled the ivories, he was a he was a fuckable little little piece of piece of ass.
00:38:29
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, I'm pretty sure that she was ah making eye contact with piano man while trying to give her husband an over the pants little H.J. She did. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. So like I'm sure that's gives the the friends plenty to talk about on the drive home.
00:38:50
Speaker
They are, they're such a bizarre couple. Well, now this guy's dead and we move on to to Tony. But in between all of this shit, we're kind of finding out that the writer is hiring a PI with his wife. Yeah, because they when Don's ah wife, the the the the cute school teacher is like embarrassed. Like she's so mortified when she realizes that her husband hired a private detective to find out if their mutual friend is a murderer.
00:39:31
Speaker
I fucking I was so with her, so on her side of like you are and embarrassing me to an absolutely bat shit level. Like I cannot with you, sir. And the fact that he went habsies with Affleck's one. He went habsies with his. On hiring the PI. It's true.
00:39:56
Speaker
So let's see. So now we're we're with Tony and they've already fucked. They've they've Tony's talk about eating the snails and Affleck stalks Tony a little bit, pretends that his wife needs to talk to him, gets him in the car with him and drives him out to the middle of the woods for a scene. That may kit. I had to pause it. I rewound it 12 times. I watched it yeah over and over again.
00:40:26
Speaker
His Affleck drives like a fucking maniac through the woods in his cool Jeep. He is... He's got the dog. He has the dog in the back seat for this. That that dog is flying around back there. Yeah, seriously. He'd get out of the car finally and he's like, where's your wife?
00:40:48
Speaker
And when the guy turns around affleck whips a rock at his head so fucking It's so big. It throws it really funny and the way it connects with the dude and he suddenly like realizes what's going on and he just starts screaming. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's the first time in the movie. Affleck shows an emotion other than sad or snail joy.
00:41:24
Speaker
like There's sadness, there's snail joy, and now there's the pure unfettered like passion of whipping a rock at this dude's head and then chasing him through the woods. This movie would actually be a fascinating third for the next Inside Out movie.
00:41:48
Speaker
Let's get out of Riley's head. I need to get an Affleck's head so I can see sadness at the control board. I need to see what snail joy looks like. and boy is is You get regular joy, but she's just a little bit less perky. You know, she's more like a quiet contentment and she is covered in snails. She's just yeah not necessarily snails, but at least covered in the goo.
00:42:14
Speaker
Oh, God. No, that's way worse. Oh, no. and After he hits this guy and the guy realizes he's gushing blood, Affleck picks up a second rock that is bigger and like forward passes it to him like a basketball, does like a chest pass and hits this guy so hard in the tummy that he falls off a cliff.
00:42:39
Speaker
Well, he's also like stumbling around trying to get away and screaming that he's sorry. And yes, he falls off a cliff and bangs his head on a rock. Uh, he very, he is very, very dead. Do you think that these men that are fucking Anna de Armas, they all come for dinner. Yes. Everybody comes over.
00:43:03
Speaker
What does she tell these men? like the i wouldn't If I am fucking somebody's wife, I would never go to their house. No, absolutely not. What do I get out of this uncomfortable dinner? Do you want to come fuck me while my husband's upstairs? i don't I don't know. I get the feeling that they're just so stigmatized by having the chance to put it in her beautiful, beautiful pussy.
00:43:31
Speaker
that they're just like, whatever she says, I'm going along with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want me to come over to your house and humiliate your husband? Sure, sure. That's insane. But honestly, what happened to Tony is what every one of these guys deserved.
00:43:51
Speaker
Once again, I don't know if this comes down to a strong sense of vengeance, but it's like, if you're fucking dumb enough to do this shit. And you're pissing off this guy. Because Joel had the audacity at the party to be like, hey, man, I just wanted to say thanks so much. ah You and your wife have been so nice to me since I moved into town. And Ben Affleck's like, yeah, sure, dude.
00:44:14
Speaker
And then he's like, and also, it's really cool that you're okay with me seeing your wife. And he's like, like, sky wees me. And he's like, yeah, you know, like, some guys would be super jealous about me being friends, just friends, just regular old friendly friends ah with their wife. It's cool that you're not, you know, possessive and jealous like that. And it's like, why are you having this fucking conversation? Joel, Joel, this is a bad idea.
00:44:40
Speaker
It really sucks that he didn't kill Joel because of the three boyfriends we see in the movie, the two that gets killed are the most normal, and Joel is absolutely the dumbest with the most punchable face that I would have loved to see him get crushed with a rock.
00:45:00
Speaker
Oh, 100% rock to that face. Plus, like, ah what is Joel doing for humanity? Not much. Tony's building sustainable housing. You know? And Joel's riding a long board in Phoenix.
00:45:15
Speaker
ah Yeah, I'm cool. Get out of here with your stupid surfer boy hair. I hate you. But either way, maybe they're working under the assumption that like, no, because they're not and all of them know enough not to say like, I am fucking your wife and you're presumably okay with that. Like, none of them are willing to say that all of them are pretending that they're just good friends with your wife. And, you know,
00:45:47
Speaker
I don't remember Jacob Elordi's character's name, but... Charlie? Charlie. He gets... Joel beats him up and drowns him in the pool, which we see in a snail flashback later. like Throughout the movie, he has snail flashbacks. like he He has visions. When he holds the snails, he either is imagining fucking his wife, somebody else fucking his wife, or murdering somebody. And yeah I think...
00:46:10
Speaker
Charlie got it the best. Like, you know, he got beat up and drowned. This guy got bludgeoned with a rock and thrown thrown off a cliff in the middle of the woods yeah and then got his- He fell ass over a tea kettle down of an embankment and smashed his head on a rock. Just like Chris Farley in Black Sheep. It was just as comical.
00:46:35
Speaker
Oh, boy. I mean, as far as like dead boyfriends go, presumably actually the one who got at the easiest is Martin, the the mysterious off screen Martin McCree, Martin McCree. So you really don't think this job did it?
00:46:52
Speaker
I don't know. I get you think New Orleans is just dangerous. No, I think martin like she clearly dates dumb men. He got himself in dumb men who make bad decisions because you're willing to go to dinner. Like all these guys are willing to go to dinner and meet the husband. Right. Like clearly these these men are not good with their self preservation instincts. Like this dude got himself in trouble some other way. I listen. I feel like the movie has a very different take.
00:47:21
Speaker
like a very different vibe, whether you believe he killed a guy already or not. Like, because if he didn't kill Martin, then just like talking about killing Martin, making that joke, like starts to spark the idea in him, right? They're like, what if I actually did kill somebody? And like he realizes that thought excites him, right? But if he has, he has killed Martin, um then This movie looks like it's one big cycle, right? That like you could almost believe that when you see him bike in in the morning that he is coming from having killed Martin. And that we are once again like in a big cycle of like how many times has he done this before that he has killed his wife's boyfriends and they have this sick game that they're playing, including part of the game is sometimes she tries to get him caught by the cops.
00:48:22
Speaker
But in dialogue, I do think that Martin McCray was the beginning of all of this because his daughter asks about Joel and he's like, it's your mom's friend. Like Martin McCray. Do you remember him? It's not like he's saying like all the others before. So you think that the that her cheating on him is a relatively recent and bringing the men around is recent.
Unraveling Affleck's Past
00:48:48
Speaker
I don't think the vibe of the movie gives it off that, but I think with that piece of dialogue, like, because he would have said, like, his his daughter wouldn't have been confused and he wouldn't have given one specific man. If mom always had boyfriends coming around, that's a good point. So I do think he killed Martin McCray. And I think that when he told him I killed him with a hammer, he's smart enough to know
00:49:13
Speaker
Don't tell him how you actually did it because everybody thinks you're fucking with this guy. And when they do find his body and it was done a different way than he said. Everyone will. Yeah. As opposed to, oh, weird that he knew exactly how this man died. But I thought they said on the TV that someone else got arrested for killing Martin McCray. You're right.
00:49:34
Speaker
that which is a hilarious piece because before on the TV they say that they found they arrested somebody in the killing of Martin McRae which maybe hired somebody to do it who knows that before that they're talking about drone strikes. So it's just like a whole news, ah news bit about all of the wrongs he's done. Right. Don't you love it when the news just happens to be just, you know, news geared toward Ben Affleck. It's all about me and my many crimes.
00:50:06
Speaker
Sometimes I get the whole 30 minute like news block. It's all me and my crimes. The, let's get to the end of this movie, cause I can't wait to talk about it. The final scene, like the final bit. So after he's killed this guy, he goes and ties a rock to his chest and puts him not in deep water, but in shallow water.
00:50:35
Speaker
Yeah, there's so much to unpack in this metaphor of he put this guy in shallow water and the movie is called Deep Water. I have so so ah many thoughts, none of them coherent about why this is. But yes, he puts him in this river at the bottom of this gorge and takes his wallet and weighs him down feeds it to the snails.
00:51:00
Speaker
Yeah, I don't understand why you put the wallet in the snails. You got to throw that in a fucking trash can anywhere anywhere. ah Wipe your fingerprints off of it and put it in a mailbox somewhere really far from from either the crime scene or your home because he doesn't have fingerprints because he burnt them off on the cookies.
00:51:21
Speaker
Oh my God, you're right, he burned his finger from slop on the cookie tray. I thought that was a weird thing, that was his alibi. After he kills Jacob Elordi in the pool, he goes inside to where everybody is, there's a tray of cookies, he gets one and burns himself and he's like, ow. And he even tells the cops when they get there, he's he shows me, he's like, I tried to steal a cookie. And my alibi is I got burned on the cookies.
00:51:46
Speaker
I don't think it was an alibi so much as like, it shows that he was in like a little bit of a distracted mindset after having just murdered somebody and he wasn't thinking and he burned himself grabbing the cookie. I love though, sorry to go all the way back to that scene, but when he's getting and interrogated by the cops and the cops like, do you think your wife was sleeping with this man? And he goes, it's none of my business. And he goes, what? He's like, it should be your business. It's your wife. And he's like, I don't bother her with those kind of things.
00:52:16
Speaker
I don't ask her those kinds of questions. It's not my concern. No one thinks Ben Affleck like being a handsome white man is so convenient in this movie that everybody's just like, he obviously, he's not doing it. He's super rich. He's retired. He's got his wife's hot. He's not a rich retired and he clearly is such a sad sack that there's no with no passion whatsoever. There is no way he would ever ah be driven to to a crime of any kind.
00:52:51
Speaker
If he's going to kill somebody, it's going to be with a drone chip and someone else is doing it. Like he he does not have it in him to do the up close and personal like ah emotion driven act of murdering someone with his own hands. And the only person who even suspects him is this boring ass writer who's just ah hoping that something cool happens that he can write a book about. ah Question, when Don does find out that he is correct, do you think he is more excited about, one, the screenplay he's going to write about this that's going to make him millions of dollars, or two, being able to say, I told you so, to his hot younger wife who thought that he was being a big ah you know asshole and meddling in someone else's business. Which of those is more exciting to him?
00:53:50
Speaker
Not to spoil for everybody before we get to the very, very end, but I told you so kills him.
00:53:59
Speaker
It's true. If he were excited about the other, he'd be mapping it out of his head as he drove and waited to send a fucking. Oh, that's true. He'd be like outlining it in a little notes app on his phone. So to get us there pretty quick.
00:54:15
Speaker
Affleck and his wife kind of come to peace with each other. They, him and his wife and his kid are gonna go up to the gorge where he killed Tony, which is where they used to have their first dates. They have a cute little picnic. Affleck goes to get his daughter and sees that Tony's hand is starting to come above the water. Yeah, it did not dispose of that body well enough. He's like, I'm gonna have to come back up here and deal with this shit.
00:54:41
Speaker
He rushes her away from there. They all go home. His wife realizes she left her scarf there. yeah He says, I'll go back and get it. No, that was on purpose. She wants. No, she's she told Don that my husband's going to be up at the gorge and she left that scarf on purpose. Yeah, for sure. OK. No, I don't think that that was even in question because there's a moment where he says, who are you talking to? And she says, I was talking to Don.
00:55:10
Speaker
So like that's how Dawn knows to even go there. like You know that they've like spoken that morning. But how does she know that that's where Tony's body ended up? Because she's smarter than all of us give her credit for. because just we Just because we just only see her do dumb shit doesn't mean she doesn't think smart things.
00:55:32
Speaker
That's a good point, Garrett. I didn't think of that. She might be observant. We're just, it's off camera.
00:55:45
Speaker
So ah apparently the one thing that they changed between the book and this is they redid the ending. And I'd love to see if the ending of the book isn't stupid.
00:55:57
Speaker
because I love how fucking stupid the end of this
The Film's Unexpected Ending
00:56:01
Speaker
movie is, Kit. To me, this movie is, because I don't know what problems they had making it other than it took a long time and apparently there it was like plagued with issues. But the ending to me says, we don't have an ending and we have 24 hours to film and to write and film it. And that everything was improvised and on the fly.
00:56:26
Speaker
Okay, first, please describe the ending for our listeners who may not have seen this. Affleck goes down, he says he's gonna get the scarf. He rides his mountain bike, however fucking far the gorge is. Instead of driving, he goes down full close, standing with his shoes on in the water, futs him with his dead fucking body. He's poking it with a stick. and Literally poking it with a goddamn stick. He looks up and Don is at the top of the hill going, what are you doing? Affleck hides the stick behind his back like he's a child.
00:57:04
Speaker
And this is where like you can tell something happened with the writing here because everything Affleck says is dumb. And I would say he gives a good performance this whole movie up until this scene. This scene's so weird. He's just like, I'm looking for my wife's scarf. And he's like, what do you got behind your back? And he's like, stick? And he's just he's like, why are you standing down in the water?
00:57:33
Speaker
And Affleck, he goes down to talk to Affleck. And Affleck's like, oh shit, and is trying to like... He is stammering and acting so fucking doofy and...
00:57:45
Speaker
It's so fucking weird, and then the hand pops up. Don goes, you're going to jail, you son of a bitch, and starts taking off running for his car. Slipping, sliding. The best part is that he sees the hand and freaks out like, oh shit, I was right. And also that means I'm out here in the woods with a murderer. And he turns around to try to like run back up the slope and fucking falls.
00:58:12
Speaker
Why would Don, if he thinks this guy has killed like three people, at least one that he knows of, why is he going, like Don's a fucking pussy? Like why is Brave all of a sudden? I don't know, I don't know. I don't think he is Brave so much as he's stupid.
00:58:34
Speaker
yeah hes He's smart enough to go haves, he's on a PI, I'll tell you. So he gets in his car and he's muttering to himself the whole time he's driving like, I was right. They all told me I was wrong, but I'm right. That motherfucker's going to jail. I can't wait to tell my wife how right I am and I am the best writer in the world. And I'm smart and I'm handsome and I've got a lot of hair.
00:59:02
Speaker
They're gonna have Brad Pitt play me in the movie. And he is driving so fucking fast in this car. and like He's being chased by a man on a bicycle. You don't need to go that fast. Affleck is going so fast on this bike to the point that Don is looking in the rear view mirror like, have I lost him yet? Because Affleck is fast.
00:59:25
Speaker
Affleck takes a shortcut through the woods, and while this is happening, Don is swerving wildly. All over. He's trying to text his wife with one hand that he was right, and he's like, fucking autocorrect.
00:59:42
Speaker
He's cursing. He is just like Tokyo drifting. If he went 30 miles an hour, he could have text, gotten away, and this guy'd be in jail, but he's what driving like a fucking madman idiot. Affleck doesn't even stop him in like a cool suave way. Affleck explodes out of the woods on his mountain bike, falls face first into the middle of the road, and Tony looks up from texting and is like, ah!
01:00:12
Speaker
drives off a fucking cliff. Yeah, swerves to avoid hitting Ben Affleck and just flies off into death right off that cliff. And Ben Affleck just looks bewildered. Like, did I just fucking look into the only witness to my crime killing himself?
01:00:36
Speaker
With the scarf in the car though, which does seem like it could be a problem later, but also, no one seems to really care. No. No, I don't think so. And at this point, he goes home and his wife is just like, hey, I saw Tony, meaning she found the wallet. Yep. Doesn't care anymore. She's saying, I found Tony, and walking away is her way of basically just saying like, hey, I'm done cucking you. Sorry about it. So.
01:01:05
Speaker
but it The the the chase scene is intercut with ah Anna crying and packing and ah When her suitcase is fully packed Trixie comes the the little girl comes into the room and she just yoinks it off the bed Shoves it down the stairs drags it out to the pool and shoves it in In the deep water of the bitch. We are going to be a family. Yes That is basically what this six-year-old does is, ah ah you know, mom's out here like, what are you doing? And the little girl's like, we're not leaving. She's like, mom, it's time to nut the fuck up and be a parent. Be the, yes, we are a family, woman. Stop cheating on my dad.
01:01:58
Speaker
And then we learn an important lesson about ah Don't Text and Drive and, ah you know, solves solves Ben's problems for him. He ah comes back home and in it it mirrors almost exactly the opening of the film where he comes back from a bike ride and she's sitting on the stairs waiting for him, looking at him with love in her eyes. ah And then we see that she is burning the wallet.
01:02:28
Speaker
for him. She is destroying evidence for him. Do you think now that she's not going to fuck young boys? Which not really even young boys like about her age because he's like 17 years older than her or something. um But do you think that he'll get rid of the snails? Like if she can't have sex with boys, I feel like he should have to sacrifice something. It is bold that you assume that the new pact they have come to is that she's not going to fuck other guys anymore.
01:02:57
Speaker
I think it's entirely possible that they have now established a new dynamic where she is going to do this more so that he will kill more because it gets her off that he kills men because he wants her that bad.
01:03:13
Speaker
So you think that that was what she took away, not the little girl being like, we're going to be a family. No, she's like, the little girl's right. We should be a family. He does love me because he even says to her at one point, like, if you think I killed Charlie, aren't you scared of me? And she's like, no, because you did it for me. And I think that's kind of like.
01:03:35
Speaker
part of her realization is that like all of this is about like keeping everybody together. like He loves me so much. And this was the passion I was i was looking for when I was trying to cuck him and provoke him. This is his way. This is his love language. Garrett, you've heard about love languages. His is murdering your himbo boyfriend.
01:04:01
Speaker
I think she got her fill and that we're done and we're getting, I mean, this might be an a agree to disagree situation. I don't see that.
01:04:13
Speaker
But I appreciate that you think that this is turning into like a weirder serial killer movie now, where they just she's like, I'm a fuck pretty boys. You kill the pretty boy. And then I get to look at it. She has that that they have potentially just like codified the new rules of the game in a way that is less toxic. I mean, it's more toxic and that people are going to die, but it's less toxic for their relationship because they both now understand What's happening they both now like realize what the rules of the game are and they're both willing Participants and players here, but realistically how many poor more people need to die? That she's fucking at garden parties before low-rels like maybe he maybe Vic is doing it
01:05:04
Speaker
Maybe maybe my best friend is in fact a murderer. I don't know. Maybe. You know, the snail thing is kind of weird. That feels like snails feel like something. Yeah, yeah. Um, I mean, they could always go on vacay, kill people out in, you know, new and exciting exotic locations. I'm just saying I'm not as convinced as you are that she has had her fill and now they're going to to be a happy normal family.
01:05:33
Speaker
I was hoping you were gonna say, I'm just saying I'm not convinced there isn't gonna be a sequel. I mean, there could be. Deeper water, deepest water. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Keep them going. This is, you can, then eventually it just turns into the abyss. I was gonna say that exact same joke. We're in the deepest possible water. All right.
01:05:59
Speaker
So wait, no, ah Garrett, what do you think is is the because I got the snail metaphor. I'm doing great on snail metaphor. I would love for you to explain to me the water metaphor, please. Why is this movie called Deepwater?
01:06:17
Speaker
um I think that honestly. I don't know. there The water does come up again because his daughter asks about ah Jacob Elordi dying. She's like, wait, where he died was his feet were his feet touching the ground. cause He died in shallow water as well. And he had with a little diver toy in the bathtub at the time where it like goes to the bottom. Oh, you're right. You squeeze the thing and it floats to the top. Yeah. So she's playing with a toy that symbolizes this.
01:06:48
Speaker
Is it is it um is it a marriage? Is the deep water that you don't? It's like you never really truly understand a couple from the outside because it's deep water on the inside where you murder people.
01:07:05
Speaker
I don't know. Zero thought went into this title. Zero thought went into this title, according to Garrett. And how much thought did you say you thought went into the ending here? Twenty four hours.
01:07:18
Speaker
You can't film an entire car-chased car wreck throwing a car off a gorge in 24 hours. You got to hurry, and that's why the dialogue came out the way it did. You got to go fast.
01:07:33
Speaker
Apparently, in the book, ah he kills her. like He kills the wife. Yeah. so That's a huge change to decide that like, no, no, we're going to save this marriage and and murder the the one witness in the most bizarre way possible. We're going to kill off it. Weird. like It's so strange.
01:07:59
Speaker
Because it's not like the movie really ends happily ever after. That's not a way that the audience walks away feeling satisfied. Honestly, if the wife were dead and it was just Affleck and the little girl, I would think he's never going to kill again. He's just going to raise her like normal and ride his mountain bike and ride his poetry and play with the snails. Unless he goes to jail, in which case, sorry, kid.
01:08:26
Speaker
You have to live with Lil Rel and his wife now. Yeah, you know what? They're probably the godparents. That seems right. He's like, your parents were fucking weird, kid. I'm so sorry. Here, have some cookies.
01:08:41
Speaker
Yeah, that was I don't know. Either way, I still really enjoy this movie in that it was a dynamic that I don't know. I don't know if it was just because like I had watched this when it first came out. So, you know, obviously on a second viewing, knowing he is killing people.
01:08:57
Speaker
But I never on this rewatch, like it never clicked with me that maybe he wasn't and that it feels like it was a real admission of guilt at the beginning. So to me as the viewer, like you just kind of know this guy's the killer.
01:09:14
Speaker
because he kills the first guy like halfway through. You know, it's not like there's no twist. There's there's really no surprises in this movie. It's all just like everything's really at face value. It's all about looking at this like extremely toxic relationship and the the very confusing dynamic between the two of them and trying like that's the part you're trying to parse the entire time.
01:09:42
Speaker
is like, why are these people together? Does he get off on this? Does he like does she get off like? What what part of this is sexually exciting for them? And which part is just like, I hate I hate that my wife does this. Like, yeah it's very hard to read. um And that's what you spend most of the movie thinking about, not the logistics of like, who killed who? Because it's you're right. Other than the question of whether he killed Martin McCrae.
01:10:16
Speaker
um There's no ambiguity about any of the murders. I guess really the only question you have going for you is, is he going to get away with it? Yes.
01:10:29
Speaker
And even then, like you're never really that worried because no you have no reason to be worried. No one has ever questioned anything other than his wife and this one guy that everybody kind of thinks her assholes. Yeah, like there's the part where the cops talk to him, right? And then you know that he's being followed for a little while and you think maybe it's the cops, but it turns out it's the private investigator that wife and screenwriter hired.
01:10:58
Speaker
um and so you're a little worried but like at the same time there's no evidence that those people could find what are they gonna find what's the pi gonna turn up that the guy drowned in the pool you he you either saw him drown the guy or you didn't like there's no secret evidence you're gonna find Plus when they're getting his body out to try and resuscitate him, that was a weird scene too. Because Don is holding the shoulders. He drops the body so Jacob Elordi's head cracks so hard off the side and then he falls back into the pool.
01:11:32
Speaker
They get him back out. Affleck starts doing CPR and pumping. Water does shoot out of his mouth and his wife. Meanwhile, it's like you're doing it wrong because you want him to die. You want him to die. And it's like clearly what he's doing was sort of working like he was doing it correctly.
01:11:50
Speaker
I thought that was weird to stop him because it it actively was working in front of our eyes. And it didn't seem like anybody else immediately jumped in, though it did seem like the consensus was he was definitely already dead. Already dead. Yeah, Don seems really invested in like, no, definitely what me dropping him and him cracking his head on the concrete and falling back in the pool did not kill him. It was not my fault. But one of his friends goes, yeah, but it didn't help. Which is correct. It did not help.
01:12:23
Speaker
can't take us home. All right, Garrett, were you aroused? Scale one to five. It's not gonna be high. This movie, I think for 20 years of Adrian Line being gone, I think the expectations of boners and moistness were a lot higher. And while there isn't a lot of sex, like the one sex scene we see of Affleck is like two seconds. We don't really even see- Yeah, the camera's shaking around a lot. You don't, yeah.
01:12:54
Speaker
There are sexy moments. like Yes. Anna Darmus is like, you can't argue, she is a sexy lady. Yes. Very excited for her to be in this John Wick spin-off that comes out next year. A thing that happens in this movie that you don't see in every movie that is just like a little extra sexual and almost even just a little more porno like is her fingering herself. Yes. And then like it was- Backing a guy off.
01:13:23
Speaker
with her her own juices. ah yeah's like pretty great not That's not every day. like that was ah that's pretty That's pretty sexy to watch two hot famous people do. So that gets a couple points.
01:13:37
Speaker
I would say there's also like there's a number of moments that are sexual but not explicitly like when he's like he's touching her legs a lot and he's like putting on her stockings and putting on shoe her shoes for her like there's a lot of like erotic ish touching or when he's like putting lotion on her right like things that like she's clearly not letting him get this the amount of sexual pleasure that he would want, but like there is still this charged energy about it. um So those moments are or fairly sexy, but it's not satisfying, I would say. Yeah. Yeah, I agree.
01:14:28
Speaker
I never actually see her have sex either with any of her boyfriends. Which I did read that this was the first Hadrian Line movie that had to have an intimacy coach on set, which he was very upset about, ah supposedly, because it implied that the actors didn't trust him. But yeah, do you remember what he did to fucking poor, oh my God, why can't I remember who was in Nine and a Half Weeks?
01:14:56
Speaker
a Kim Basinger? Kim Basinger. Like, you tortured that poor woman. You tortured that poor woman. Of course they're not gonna trust you. Of course. Yeah, we've had so many years. And it's in the, we're in the, it is 2019 when we're making this. We are deep into the Me Too movement, or at least somewhere near, it's happened. You don't get to just hang out with hot naked, yeah. Oh, times have changed. Times have changed and you're not allowed to treat women like that anymore, so sorry.
01:15:28
Speaker
That being said, I would still let Adrian Line make movies under supervision. but Yeah, that's fair. ah So yes, ah give give this thing a number for... I'm going to give it a low two. I would do the same. A low two. All right, what about thrills, Garrett? Thrills.
01:15:49
Speaker
I think like at the end of the day, this is going to come down to low thrills, low eroticism, and we wouldn't ruin our life for anybody, which on paper makes it a bad erotic thriller, but kind of a fun movie. Garrett, you wouldn't ruin your life for Ana de Armas? You mean would I let Ben Affleck kill me?
01:16:10
Speaker
ah I do like Calfleck. As far as the thrills, when he threw that rock, I was legitimately titillated. I was the i had seen this movie before, and for some reason that was still a surprise. and that rock When he threw that rock, like I took a video of it so that I could watch it on the go on my phone whenever I...
01:16:37
Speaker
But at the same time. Just whenever you're feeling down, you go to your snail shed, you hold your snail, and you watch a Ben Affleck throw a rock at a guy. Honestly, as far as thrills, this probably might have to be a one. Yeah. I mean, I'll give it a 1.5 just because there is a chase, a car goes off a cliff. It's awesome. Yeah. It's hilarious.
01:17:04
Speaker
like it's The end is full bad movie. The rest of it is like, I would say legitimately pretty good performances and a weird relationship we're observing that ends with a such a stupid final like two scenes. A batshit combination of scenes.
01:17:25
Speaker
Bad dialogue, bad everything, but I love it. I love it, I'm happy to exist. I feel like the movie would have been a lesser experience if it hadn't had that. 100%, you're correct. i If that didn't have that ending, I would think, I don't know, it kind of ended boring. But yeah like because it had this weird thrilling, fuck, and I use the word thrilling. Oh, you did. I'm bumping it up to a low two.
01:17:53
Speaker
There we go. like All right. A light to. But seriously, so if if ah you're telling me that if this gorgeous woman was like, hey, do you want to fuck me? And yeah I am married to Ben Affleck. But look at him. He's a pussy. He's not going to do anything about it. Will you fuck me? You're going to tell me you're going to tell that woman no.
01:18:20
Speaker
If I am a young, hot, blonde boy, maybe. Yes, you are. You are. If I'm me, I think something's up.
01:18:32
Speaker
You're telling me your self-esteem is too low for you to ruin your life for her? Yeah, I think that if she's coming over and being like, oh, wrestling seems really cool, pro wrestling seems really cool, then I'm like, I think I'm going to get killed.
01:18:50
Speaker
Or at least like all my money is gonna somehow leave my bank account. No, she paid him. She paid Charlie $3,000 for piano no lessons. That's really bizarre. I bet he would've fucked her for free. Oh, of course he would've. That's a Findom thing, right? like She's getting off on spending her husband's money on her young hot lover.
01:19:16
Speaker
I do think Anna de Armas is a gorgeous woman. I think Ben Affleck is a handsome man. And you would eat her ass with gusto. You would eat her ass with gusto, sir. And if she invited you to dinner.
01:19:31
Speaker
with her husband. You would be there and you would be awkward and you would try to make a polite conversation with Ben Affleck because you would also think that he was super cool and you're like hoping that maybe he's into this too and you're just the new third. You're into it. I need his bisque.
01:19:50
Speaker
You would eat his lobster bisque. You wouldn't be all, I'm allergic to shellfish. Also, the number of things they set up as being deadly and then do not pay off. Shellfish allergy doesn't come back. That character's gone. Snails never kills anyone. Snails, oh, if you eat a snail, you'll die. That doesn't come back. What is with this Chekhov's poison that we're not using?
01:20:13
Speaker
I think maybe something left out of the book there. I don't know. i I don't like you bullying me into saying I would ruin my life for Anna de Armas. like It's my life, kid. I can choose to ruin it if I want. And I think the fact that she's just a hot lady, like I don't know what she could possibly say. Her character's awful. She doesn't have any personality other than being hot. Yes, even her daughter points out mom's different in front of hot boys. So that implies like she would be different around me in a way that doesn't seem like she sucks. But I'm going with off of what I saw her be in the film. No, I am choosing no. She's a hot lady, but I'm not gonna ruin my life for Anna Darmus and you can't make me.
01:21:00
Speaker
All right, I'll accept it. I'll accept it. It sounds like you're really eating into Armistice's ass. Are you not? Well, I mean, when you phrase it without me having to ruin my life, like I'm not going to get bludgeoned with a rock and then set to be bloated in shallow water. oh Yes.
01:21:21
Speaker
Yeah, under regular circumstances, I would do that, yeah. Yes, you would. Under danger circumstance, not worth it. Juice isn't worth the squeeze. Juice isn't worth the squeeze, huh? I know my penis would really be barking at me to to do that, but all I would have to do is go wet my snails and cool down. Let the let the snail have a cold shower.
01:21:46
Speaker
I don't even need the cold shower just the snail the snail gets that cold shower and it works for me too. Yeah, all right. Fair enough Garrett fair enough. ah Your low self esteem is going to keep you safe here where you know that this woman will have an ulterior motive.
01:22:05
Speaker
Yeah, something's up. I don't, i you know, if it was a character, she would need to have low self esteem too. And I'd be like, this makes more sense. We're too sad people. four ten But no, she's way too confident in knowing that she's extremely good looking. So. Yeah.
01:22:24
Speaker
All right, everybody, thanks for listening this week. And Ben Affleck, we love you. We do. Get back get back on that horse. Just stay away from the Jennifers for a little bit. um It was weird. I was a huge Jennifer Garner fan growing up too, because I loved Alias. You seem like the type that watched a lot of Alias. boy You do seem like an Alias boy. were you Did you also like her in ah Electra?
01:22:51
Speaker
I liked Daredevil a lot, but the Electra movie was bad. and Can I tell you an erotic alias story? Please. So my freshman year of college, Alias was on every week during our floor meetings. It was on at the same time. And you know, like, I just have a fucking tube TV. I don't have TiVo. We don't have any way to rewatch Alias until it comes out on TV. They did have it. It's called a fucking VCR. Just record it on VCR. That's what I did. I was in a dorm room. That's too many things.
01:23:28
Speaker
So i would I would skip my floor meetings and watch A-wars. And that like I would always get threatened that I was going to somehow get in trouble for that. And one day I came back and my door was ajar. And I thought that was weird. And I opened it and my roommate was having sex with our RA. Whoa!
01:23:50
Speaker
And that was cool ah for him. And then I was like, ah, close the door and I leave. And then like the next week I don't show up for the floor meeting, knock on the door, open it up. It's my RA. And she's like, you need to come to the floor meeting. And I said, I don't think I have to come to the floor meetings ever again. Right.
Personal Reflections and Farewells
01:24:12
Speaker
And then she said, no, and left. And I got to watch Alias every Wednesday. I have lost all moral high ground in this scenario. ah You're right, Garrett. You can go watch Alias as much as you want. ah I'll be good, just let me watch Alias. I'm not gonna be doing anything bad in the dorms, I'm square as fuck. I'm not the one who's fucking, you know, people I should be fucking. You! Yeah. If anyone needs to go to the floor meeting, it seems like it's you. Sounds like you need to watch some Alias and keep it in your pants. That is extremely funny. I'm glad you got to watch Alias.
01:24:54
Speaker
Yeah, then Jennifer Garner stopped letting ah Ben Affleck hang out with Kevin Smith and their friendship broke up and that was kind of sad. And then like the J-Lo stuff, like I never had an issue with J-Lo, but in all of this, she doesn't seem like super fun to be around. I watched his life, like just the life suck out of his face since they've been together.
01:25:16
Speaker
yeah Like we saw one happy weekend of him touch an ass on a yacht. Like where he had a big smile and we never saw that smile again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He just needs to, you know what? He needs to go to his snail shed and. just snails just Wet Wet his snails. And then, you know, find, find someone else.
01:25:40
Speaker
Just gotta, folks, when life gets you down, wet your snails. Just get your snails wet. Just get your snails wet and get your head right. it'll It'll put you right back. All right, everybody. thank Thanks for this for listening this week. Meeting adjourned at Erotic Thriller Club but on Instagram, eroticthrillerclubatgmail.com if you have any questions, comments, concerns.
01:26:07
Speaker
We love you. We've got more movies coming up. I'm sad that we're like really close to out of Adrian Line movies. All we have left really is... I mean, it's weird that like he's so so famous for the genre, but doesn't really have...
01:26:23
Speaker
like a ton of them, it's fatal attraction, nine and a half weeks, indecent proposal, Lolita, unfaithful. I don't know if I wanna do Lolita. No, it doesn't sound like kids, no. No, I'm good. I just don't, the little kids ones are just like. No. That's not fun, you can't really even joke about them, but unless it's the crush. Unless it's the crush. Unless it's the crush, which I would watch again tonight. But hey, thank you for listening. Yes. We love you.
01:26:53
Speaker
Wet your snails. We want to shake you naked and eat you alive. That was beautiful Garrett.