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Arabella: Black Angel
87 Plays10 months ago
This week on the Erotic Thriller Club we take a trip to Freak Boys Town and watch Arabella: Black Angel! Castrations, ketchup sandwiches, writers block, hilariously sexy car wrecks! Drop a dollar in the sin bin and join the club!
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Transcript
Introduction to The Erotic Thriller Club
00:00:00
Speaker
Ladies, gentlemen, folks beyond the binary, grab your husband, wife, partner, mistress, your sharpest pair of cast-straightened scissors, and gather around the radio.
Exploration of the Erotic Thriller Genre
00:00:11
Speaker
It's time for this week's meeting of The Erotic Thriller Club.
00:00:26
Speaker
Is antithesis mysterious and dangerous And oh yes, look at all the sexiest movies out of VHS So if you're fatally attracted to the race, do you stop?
Plot Synopsis: Italian Housewife's Dark Tale
00:00:40
Speaker
Aerotic Velcro, basically instinctively crazy salacious Aerotic Velcro, if you want to race a movie at your two classes, we're smart
00:01:09
Speaker
We're in 1980s Italy, and we're a rich nymphomaniac housewife with a wheelchair-bound author-husband with a severe case of writer's block. Our husband forces us to moonlight as a sex worker, and the men we sleep with keep winding up dead at the hands of a mysterious killer. What a great idea for a book! So throw on your sexiest leather speedo and let's head to freak boys town, this week on The Erotic Thriller Club. Erebella, Black Angel. Hey everybody, welcome to the Erotic Thriller
Garrett and Kit's Questions on Erotic Thrillers
00:01:42
Speaker
Club. As always, Garrett Callender and Kit Ryan in here. And this is where we tackle the genre's three most important questions. Was I aroused? Was I thrilled? And would I ruin my life for this person?
Tribute to Donald Sutherland
00:01:56
Speaker
Kit, before we jump in to our first jello film that we've done here. I'm so excited to have a jello film.
00:02:06
Speaker
I do, we do have we usually don't do ah current news, because when we record these, we don't really know where it's gonna come out in line. But just so somewhere down the line, when this comes out, people will know that we are sad about Donald Sutherland.
Blumhouse's 'Soulmate' Announcement
00:02:21
Speaker
Rest in peace. Dear Donald Sutherland, ah go check out our episode of Don't Look Now. No matter what I thought about his looks and how sexy I thought his his little tush was, our our dear friend Megan Sampson found him very sexy, so. I have to agree. He was a legend, he was a legend. An absolute legend. The other piece of news, so this will absolutely date when this was recorded, just announced today,
00:02:51
Speaker
Blumhouse announced they are expanding the Megan universe and about to do an erotic thriller called Soulmate, which will be about a real doll. No. OK, I never saw Megan, so I'm I I don't know how to feel about this. I know people liked it, right?
Giallo Films and Their Unique Appeal
00:03:14
Speaker
Yeah, it was good. I could do an erotic thriller about a sex doll. It could be fun. Absolutely. It's a man who looks like he owns a sex doll.
00:03:27
Speaker
I have to say, yeah, of course I'm on board to watch this movie. I just, you know, it's nice when when people are thinking about us over here. I'm glad the genre could use ah more like this. Yeah.
Cinema vs. Pornography in Italian Thrillers
00:03:41
Speaker
Now into this Giallo film um kit. I finally I'm broken. This one broke me. I'm broken. I'm a broken man. oh It did it. We got there. We found my my my line. This was it. This was the one, huh? but What was it was it? Was it when they lit the strap on on fire? was that Was it that early in the process that you realized you were in over your head?
00:04:10
Speaker
Well, I think it's important for our listeners to know if you don't know much about you know Italian cinema or just ah how free of a people they are over there, you can see a fucking juice commercial on TV with boobies in it. So of course an Italian erotic thriller is gonna be just Borderline. I don't even think Borderline. This was smut. There's some smut. This is an interesting conversation. Like what, where is the line between an erotic movie and just straight up pornography?
00:04:46
Speaker
And I'm not sure that there is a line.
Streaming Availability and Dubbing Practices
00:04:50
Speaker
If there is, it's fuzzy and it may be ah penetration is the actual like ah key distinction that makes it officially porn. But if there is a line, it's fuzzy and I want to rub it. Hey.
00:05:09
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, this has more storyline than pornography. It's just yeah the sex scenes in a movie like this are so, I mean, this movie came out in 89, the version we saw, which if you want to watch it as well, it is on a lot of the free service. It's on Plex to be, I think some of the others, and then Shutter as well, if you want to watch it without commercials, but it's dubbed. And it is but i just super common with those jello movies, right? That like the actors would be from all over the place and they would just speak their native languages and be like, yeah we're just we'll just dub it for whoever doesn't speak that. I mean, that that makes sense. And actually, as I was watching this, I have a new bucket list item. I would like to be the English guy who gets to dub an Italian erotic thriller.
00:06:07
Speaker
Oh, that does sound fun. I feel like I could do that too. Like, okay, Garrett, give me your best, um you know, ah sexy murderer or or pimp. I don't know. You pick a character. Give me what you got. Well, I feel like with some of these characters, you don't do it like you're trying to do a good job. You have to do it like yeah yeah almost very robotic. You stay away from his penis unless you are charging him money. But I'll give it give it 100%. Whatever direction they need me to do, I will never work harder in anything in my life than that project, if they allow me in. So listeners, if you know somewhere you can put me into this, I- Put him in, coach. This is what I was born for.
00:07:02
Speaker
ah Yeah, so this one had really all the hallmarks of a Giallo film, even though it's a little late for the genre, which is probably why it has all the hallmarks. Like it it was standing on the shoulders of greats. It had the leather gloves so you don't know who the killer is, the bright red blood, ah the the dramatic lighting and voyeurs. And I had a good time with all of the the tropes. and being said
00:07:34
Speaker
that being said When this movie started, Kit, I didn't know if we were living inside Rocky Horror Picture Show. Am I living inside some sort of Mad Max post-apocalyptic thing? Am I a flatlander in fucking rural Indiana? I don't know where I'm at. um I think it's pretty clear that you are in ah Italian Vogue at their annual orgy. That was the vibe I got. The house that this movie starts in, the brothel, the whorehouse, whatever you want to call it in this movie, ah is basically, what was the guy's name in fear? who Was it Nabi? Dabi?
00:08:19
Speaker
I can't remember. There was Hacker, Nobby, that guy. I think it was Nobby. This is if Nobby had a little money. This was a swank shithole. You know, it very much gave me the vibe of like, you know, the idea of like you you're wandering in the woods and you've come across like a fairy land. Right. And there's like a just an absolute orgy on these beautiful sex ruins. ah And you are transported into a magical land of magical creatures who all want to bone each other. It's very dreamlike. It's like people are just posing. That's what maybe meridian. But it's but it's higher class than that because these aren't dirty carnies. These this is. good tell yeah
00:09:11
Speaker
This is Italian Vogue. They are posing like they are on the cover of Vogue. They just happen to be lighting a cigarette with their strap on. fair um To set the scene, a car is pulled up into the middle of the woods, a beautiful woman, leather-clad. Honestly, some of the gear she's wearing, you'd probably see modern pop stars wearing. Totally. As she approaches this house, we see a man who, if you combined, let's say, Dr. Frank Inverter from... Yep, yep, Frank Inverter. ...Rocciore, with the hangman from Blazing Saddles.
00:09:49
Speaker
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. He is sitting on, like, a statue wearing a mask. The max mask looks like it's penis. And you try and walk past him, but he doesn't doesn't just tell you, like, as you come up, you gotta pay to go inside. Hey, you gotta pay. He waits till you start to go in so that he can gleefully say, Excuse me, ma'am. If you want to go inside, you've got to put the dollar in the sin bin. Yeah, and you did kind of expect him to be like, you must answer me am my riddles three to access our or G. You gotta pay the troll toll if you want to see the boys hole.
00:10:29
Speaker
i yeah I do want to point out that he says, I can tell you sport mammary glands, which I thought was delightfully non-binary, you know, not assuming gender. just say Just point out like you got a pair of tits, don't you? Well, yes, yes, I do. Well, I'm not judging that. I'm just saying you must pay for your sins, which is how- Into the hall to have them fucked on. um I think what's crazy about this house, so basically you pay to walk in and no amount of money is said. It's like put a dollar on the chip tip jar to go have sex. And I don't know what the prostitutes get paid at the end of the night. Like. Do they split it? And then it's it's clear that like money is supposed to change hands once you're inside as well.
00:11:22
Speaker
But that wasn't very clear because like I assume she's there, she paid her money, she's here for access to the whores. But then people start getting mad at her that she's not charging them money and I'm like, I thought they were the whores. No, I think you will the problem. Okay, so we'll get to that. We'll get to what the issue is there. But she walks in the house. There's leather clad people yet she does blow the flame out of this lady's candle penis. um There's just
00:11:55
Speaker
a lot there's a lot of it seems like the big thing in this house is devil's threesomes there is a lot of devil's threesomes up a stairway around the corner there's like a lady and two guys we have to point out though that this is clearly just like a place they found Right? It's an elapidated mansion. Yeah. Yes. And there is a swastika visible in the graffiti as they come in. And I was like, did they put that there? Or was they that he found a broken down place? It happened to have a swastika and they were too fucking lazy to get rid of it.
00:12:34
Speaker
Well, they don't own the place and you're not gonna like pull out of the sin bin to go paint that place. Like you're not- No, I meant the production company Garrett, not the actual hookers. Oh, I'm not worried about the production company, I guess. Like in my mind, the people in that room didn't do it. And this is a dilapidated house. Like it's a piece of shit. They're not gonna hire security to hang around. the What do you mean they had the guy out front? That's security. He's got his little accordion and he tells you to pay for your sins. That guy did play accordion well. ah But yeah, he's got a day job. He's not just gonna hang out there and fish nets all all day long. Like he's got a job down at Subway during the day. A dollar and the tip job, please. Please support your local ah sandwich artist.
00:13:31
Speaker
He really did sound like the hangman from... play throughnatle I can't possibly fit him in until today. But yeah, you walk through, there's like, people are spitting at our lady. She's a beautiful woman, by the way, but she there's men in speedos fighting. She comes across two men and thinks, I'm gonna do sex with them. Well, surprise to her, the two men that she drives having sex with, are pimps. They ah apparently run the place and she was not a prostitute, but was just planning on going to the brothel and giving the goods for free, which I think is kind of a hilarious move. You don't hear about that often, but at the same time, like if she's fucking the pimps, why don't they just be like, Hey, that's nice. Give us money. You're, you're a John, right? Like,
00:14:26
Speaker
Well, they're pimps. They're not whores. Well, don't look at them. We're not going to say the we're not going to say the whole word this whole podcast. You get me you get me in trouble. You say the thing. I start saying the thing. I shouldn't be saying the thing and you shouldn't. Don't sex workers. Fucking tell me. OK, fine. They do make a distinction, though, like, hey, you're a slut and that's bad. You should be a whore.
00:14:59
Speaker
ah yeah You should get paid. Don't devalue your work. Thank you. Don't just give it away for free. Don't do this for exposure. And an old lady that looks like a witch does see it happening and says to, because there is a man that has followed our like our protagonist. A weird paparazzi guy, following her around with a camera and taking pictures. And I'm not sure why. He's a career blackmailer. oh A cool career to have. is He looks like a fucking Dick Tracy villain. Like he looks like he was pulled out of the Warren Beatty Dick Tracy movie. Like he is a man with no facial prosthetics, but he looks like facial prosthetics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a bad look. And he's taking pictures of of our protagonist as she's, you know, rubbing herself all over these two, these two mostly naked men. And he's really focused on taking the picture and this old witch lady that that you mentioned just comes over and he doesn't seem to notice her. So of course she gets his attention by sticking her tongue in his ear.
00:16:11
Speaker
I died, I had to pause it because I was crying that. He just comes up like the way it was framed where she just comes in, tongue out, just a right in the ear. That is one of the two funniest things I've ever seen in my whole life. And they both happen in the first 15 minutes of this movie. And i add you already know what the next one's gonna be and we'll get to it in a bit. ah OK, so ah next thing you know, they're they're mad at her, ah but the cops arrive. if Everybody scram, you know. The and she gets arrested for being a whore, despite the fact that she keeps insisting sex workers, he's not. That's what he says. I'm quoting him. You don't have to say the bad thing always, Kit.
00:17:01
Speaker
You're right. Fine. She is being arrested for being a sex worker, despite the fact that she protests that she is not, in fact, a sex worker. She was just he's like, OK, then why were you here then? She's like, I was meeting up with a friend. Girl, get better, get get come up with something better than that. Yeah, the copy isn't super cool and um and and rapes her. Yeah. And a pro once again, a prolonged scene because any sort of sex in this movie is not going to be minimal. You are getting like what feels like five. i mean I'm sure it was less. But each sex scene felt like I was getting a minimum of five minutes. Yeah.
00:17:44
Speaker
I got to say, as far as rape scenes go, this one is not it's it is uncomfortable. It's a little bit mitigated by the fact that whoever is dubbing her voice does a really bad job. So it's like, no, I don't know. I don't want it. I think the softens it a little bit. The problem with some of the dubbing other than just the voices is, and I mean, we could pull the whole movie, but I stopped for the most part, like writing down any lines because it comes to bad translation too. It almost is like AI translated Italian to English and that became a script of people saying weird shit. Yeah, but it wasn't AI. Which is fine. It was someone making a choice.
00:18:39
Speaker
But I think that, you know, it's the same with like any foreign movie translated to English. Like certain things just don't translate the same. And I'm sure whatever was said in Italian was probably dumb too. Yeah, I'm going to say this is not, this is not a high art. And it's just, oh, so unfortunate we didn't hear it in its original language where it absolutely would have been cold.
00:19:05
Speaker
Okay, so this is where we gotta get to. She goes home and we find out we are in a regular place. Like we are in regular Italy. This isn't a nightmare hellscape. We're in a nice house. Her husband is paralyzed from the waist down in a wheelchair. ah the mom His mom lives in the house and he is an angry writer. He's an angry, paralyzed man yelling, because he can't fucking write his book. He just wants to try. And the rage might come out. But then we get a flashback to show the day of their wedding when they were truly in love, when he could walk. And he did have a horrible ponytail that thankfully he has since ditched. And she had the weirdest wedding headdress beaded veil thing that I've ever seen. I thought it was Skylin. 1989, Adelie, that was probably, that was the shit I bet.
00:19:58
Speaker
I don't know, man, it looked more like 20s flapper bad choice to me, but you may be right. ah It could be that I, yeah, you know what, Garrett? It could be that I'm the one with bad taste and the movie has good taste. I think some of the outfits in this movie were pretty cool. I liked like her ah big ring, like gold ring leather jacket. I thought that was very, very cool. There were a lot of like see-through booby shirts and stuff that like nowadays would actually, I feel, be in vogue in fashion magazines. But they get in the car and drive away from the wedding. And this is where we get to the single funniest scene ever captured on film. It's so good.
00:20:44
Speaker
like so good y'all It's like it was shot like a comedy. Like, I swear to God, you put the same thing in the John C. Riley movie, Walk Hard, it fits
00:20:59
Speaker
They are in the car, newlywed, dragging the cans, just married on the back of their convertible. And he has one hand on the wheel, completely turned to the side, making out with his wife. And when I say making it out with her, I don't mean one eye peeking out the side at the road. Completely disregard for her going, for anyone going 60 miles an hour, at least on a two lane highway. moving hu ah little and Making out last longer than you'd expect it to. It's not a peck. This is passion.
00:21:35
Speaker
And then it gets worse because you think once she starts to go down to give him road head, you're like, oh, now his eyes can be on the road. This is somehow safer, yeah. This is somehow safer because his eyes can theoretically be on the road. Were they on the road, Garrett? Listeners, this man, two hands on the wheel, 10 and two, leans his head back into the headrest in ah yeah yeah and And not for two seconds. no no He doesn't all crash immediately. Agonizingly long amount of time. He is just blissed out, eyes closed, ah enjoying having his dick sucked, and all the obvious happens. Head on into a truck, or does he veer off the road one or the other?
00:22:31
Speaker
It doesn't matter. The point is this is the crash that caused him to be wheelchair bound and somehow did not harm her in her head. Wasn't to catch you and decapitated. No, she's fine. Well, she was safe with her head. She underneath. She was totally with a piece in her mouth like. Honestly, it's um it's like kind of amazing that she didn't accidentally bite his cock off. The cocks will come off in this movie, but not not in that way. You know, it's truly remarkable that we haven't read a news story yet that this has happened on autopilot in a Tesla.
00:23:12
Speaker
Give it time, Garrett. It may be that it's happened and no one's admitted to it. They're just like, yeah, Tesla. One night late, ah Elon Musk was scrolling through Plex, saw this scene, and this actually invented the Tesla. He said, I want to make sure that never happens. Never happens to another beautiful couple just coming home from their wedding. I say invented, but I need to find somebody to invent that. Yeah, I need to make sure nobody is paralyzed for receiving pleasure again.
00:23:43
Speaker
And that's so beautiful, honestly, the hero we deserve. But yes, it does make it a little weird when later mom is like, cause, cause you know, she's crying and cause her husband's so upset and her, you know, mother-in-law comes and says to her, you know, it's not your fault the that the crash happened. And I was like, fuck yes, it's her fault. Well, mom absolutely didn't hear the full story. I don't know, man. She knows a lot of things she shouldn't know. It's true. But that's one. that Like, would you tell your parents? Obviously not. Also, how much would it cost to get you to watch this movie with your parents? or a grandparent
00:24:34
Speaker
Thank God, my grandmother's dead. This would absolutely actually kill her Catholic heart started. Thanks, Graham. Oh, how much would I? Oh, God, Garrett, you know what? Watch like if you're watching a movie with your parents and a sex scene comes on, do you immediately get uncomfortable or are you a grown up now and can handle it? I'm more of a grown up because my parents are are relatively chill people. um I watched Six Feet Under and other HBO shows with them when I was in like high school and that never stopped us that there were sex scenes. i did It did make me uncomfortable.
00:25:21
Speaker
but i it it wasn't enough to and for it to stop watching. But for this, with this much sex in it and all the kinky elements and the oof, ah it would i would do I would watch it with them for $50,000. I'm assuming your parents don't listen to this show. They do not. Do they know about it? Yes, they do. I've just, I've just said like, you probably don't want to listen to it, but you know, I do have this fun thing I'm doing. Yeah. Do your parents know Garrett?
00:26:03
Speaker
They do know, they definitely don't listen. But yeah, this movie made me blush alone in my basement. So no. Absolute pussy. You little weakling blushing alone in your basement. You were supposed to be doing other things. Pornography is meant for a small screen while I'm away in a cave, not on my television. You were alone in a basement. You should have been doing other things, not being embarrassed.
00:26:34
Speaker
Well, this was designed for, actually, I'm pretty sure this was designed for you to watch in Times Square in the 80s in one of those those movie theaters that she runs off to in um nine and a half weeks. That's when New York was thriving. Now it's a complete shithole. You go to Times Square, there's Margaritaville, Bubba Gump Shrimp. Where can I jerk off? Not in Bubba Gump Shrimp. They get mad. Yeah, fucking prudes. I know. Garrett, I really need to know what the answer is, though, on ah how much money would it cost for you to watch this? Oh, to watch this with my mother? um I feel like if she knew I was getting, like you said, 50,000, I feel like I would do it for less. But I feel like if my mom's like, well, I guess that's a pretty easy money. No, no, no, no. You're not allowed to tell them about the money
00:27:33
Speaker
ahead of time. You have to just say, I need you to watch this movie with me and I'm not allowed to say why. in
00:27:45
Speaker
20. You do it for 20. Yeah. Like in my head, like I was like 10, like any amount of money, but like the awkwardness it's going to cause and the conversation of like, why did you choose this? Why do I see so many labias? Why is that man's pee pee out? I don't think they'd say pee pee, but... um Well, you're a cheaper whore than I am, almost as cheap as ah the the star of our movie. Beautiful lady. Absolutely gorgeous woman. this okay It's one of the most gorgeous people to be in any of these movies we watch. She looks like a model.
00:28:23
Speaker
Yeah, she may be. ah But anyway, so the cop shows up at at the house and he's here to blackmail her um by saying, like, have sex with me or I will tell your husband about the fact that you're a dirty, dirty nympho who goes to sex parties and whorehouses. She acquiesces. It's like she's into it, but she's not into it. It's certainly assault. It's absolutely assault. It's one of those where it's an assault that turns into play. Because every summary I've seen of this movie refers to her as an infomaniac. So she does enjoy sex. I also have no idea the timeline of it. She went to the Vogue, the Italian Vogue sex party, OK? She was there at the sex ruins. She went there on purpose. She knew what she was doing. So she does love sex.
00:29:18
Speaker
It's just, you know, that doesn't mean- It's best when it's consensual. Yeah, don't we all agree? And not with cops. um
00:29:29
Speaker
um Anyway, this is also when we see Bush for the first time. We see Full Frontal. Yet this sex scene of them, they love foreplay in this. So there is a lot of a lot of like touching of the chest, a lot of nipple sucking throughout this whole movie. And a lot of cunnilingus as well. the The men are very generous lovers, even when they are committing sexual assault, which I don't want to think about that too hard, but everybody every man goes down.
00:30:03
Speaker
Am I wrong to think that like I saw actual onscreen cunnilingus in this movie? It's hard to tell. At the very least, I watched this actor lick another actor's pubic hair. Yeah, that seems like it's because a lot of times when they're faking it in movies, it's like, hey, that is clearly her lower abdomen. You are just licking her belly button right now, like based on where your head is positioned. But this, they are, they are deep in there. This movie was confusing because like, as we go on, there are some twists and things that actually pulled me in to be like, this is better written twists than some of like the quote unquote, like real movies we've watched. But there's too much pornography for you to like recommend it to somebody as just like an erotic three. You have to make sure everybody's down for the movie that they're about to watch with this one.
00:31:00
Speaker
That's certainly true, because this this movie is a lot higher on the erotic scale than it is on the thriller scale. Pretty high on thrills, though, to be to be quite honest with you. Yeah, yeah. We get there. We get there. We're spending a lot of time in the first 30 hours. Well, you got it's because it's a big adjustment to like, oh, this is the kind of movie I'm watching. ah yeah Yeah, you didn't realize what kind of party you were getting in. like Even though the cover of the movie just looks like a porno tape, I sent you that. That's kind of all you knew going into it. And then as it's happening, you're just like, holy shit, this is yeah exactly what it looks like it would be.
00:31:42
Speaker
Yep. So the husband is then watching from the window. I do not know how he got out of the house. This house is not wheelchair accessible at all, but apparently he's out in his garden now and he's watching his wife having sex with this cop and she's making eye contact with him and he's not reacting really. And she grabs a nearby hammer and a bonkity bonk bonk, cop's dead.
00:32:15
Speaker
Yeah, murder real, real close up top. And they're just kind of barium. They're barium. He's he was a dick. He was an asshole. This is a they live in a mansion. They clearly have land. They have a burial space. Yeah. They got plenty of space to bury him. However, I also want to point out her husband's in a wheelchair and he was like, honey, I'll take care of it. And she hands were you ableist. Oh, you're right. It's very ableist of me to assume that someone who is paralyzed from the waist down can't ah dispose of a body. And I apologize um for that assumption that I made. Walk us through what it would be like for him to dispose. I'm wondering if he got mom to help.
00:33:09
Speaker
I think you tie rope to the feet, you tie to the back of the wheelchair, you drag him to where you need. Once you're there, he's been using a wheelchair, he's got wheelchair guy's arm strength. Okay, you can dig the hole. You don't need to use your foot to push the shovel down, you just put the stab and go down because you got the strength. It's gonna be a shallow hole though, right? Because it's not like you can get down in it to keep digging, so you're not gonna get six feet. yeah Well, this isn't a proper burial. We're not having people over and giving a eulogy. like Most crimes of passion do end in a shallow grave. You're so right.
00:33:46
Speaker
You throw some daisies on top of that. you you know You got flowers growing. No one's going to question it. No one's going to question a single thing. Anyway, so then these two are seen next in bed with each other. a Husband and wife clearly having, she's told him everything by the looks of it and he's very accepting. Sure. Yeah. You're right, honey. I wasn't able to perform my husbandly duties. because I was too depressed and filled with writer's block and rage. And it makes perfect sense that you went elsewhere looking for ah for Dick. And- Honey, I'm gonna need you to be a prostitute now. I'm gonna need you to keep doing that.
00:34:29
Speaker
Because one, I kind of liked seeing you kiss that boy. It did something for me down there. And also, um I don't know, it just sparked a little bitty bit of creativity. And I think you'd make a cool superhero. I love that, you know, it's beautiful that it solved two problems at once when he saw his wife having sex with another man. Number one, jump started his writing. Number two, jump started his dick. Two for two. Ere bella.
00:35:06
Speaker
and So next thing you know we're looking at the what is it the the paparazzi blackmailer guy who was following her around ad at at the sex ruins and Nick the Dick Tracy villain And he's Nick Racy calling the newspaper or the cops or something to be like, Hey, that missing cop, I have pictures of him screwing a, like a fancy housewife. I guess, I guess she's important. Like she doesn't seem like they're rich and important enough to have people give a shit about them, but maybe they are. I don't know. I guess he does have a bestselling novel already. So.
00:35:50
Speaker
in enough land for burials. So that means you're somebody. else So true. I don't know. I got some part of me believes that everyone in Italy lives in a beautiful mansion. Is that not accurate? I think I think. Yeah, I think you just assume that because the place is so beautiful already that everywhere has got kind of a beautiful scenic view. It did look like Nick lived in kind of a shithole, though. That's a good point. The next thing you know, scissors to the gut. Next Ed. See you, Nick. It's the first of our scissor deaths. Every death is scissors. ah No explanation why scissors, I guess, other than ah genital mutilation ends up being a big part of every death. It's easier when you have scissors. Actually, it doesn't seem like it would be easier with scissors. It seems like a knife would actually be easier, but I'm not having never
00:36:43
Speaker
Cut off a dick before I can't say that I know the best method and clearly this killer has thought about The best method for bobbing here After this death, we get Deborah where she's dressed up as a prostitute again. She's going to a cowboy bar, which I don't fully understand. like I couldn't tell if we were at a cowboy bar or she was just found like an American cowboy. Just happened to find a cowboy. ah This is a weird nightclub um because it has a packed, pitch-black dance floor.
00:37:18
Speaker
and an empty, brightly lit bar. And and I just, i mean I can't imagine what club but has no one at the bar, but she's there all by herself and up walks a ah cowboy and she's ready to go. So they drive back to his hotel, which he is very concerned about having good sex at because he spent $50 on the room, which 1989 that would have been shot a little earlier. I don't know what the exchange rate was at the time.
00:37:54
Speaker
It didn't seem and like an okay hotel room, but they have very long drawn out sex scene while someone someone dangerous is peeping through the window. And she is pouring champagne all over herself. Whole bottle. bottle, which I thought was a little excessive. Some part of me was like, wait, you're not going to save any to drink? all right i live I live by the code of be mindful of the work you leave for others. And all I was thinking of was how angry I was for housekeeping, because that is a whole ass puddle. That is too much liquid. A little bit is sexy. A lot, it's starting to get a little, it's excessive. And yes, it's not very considerate of the housekeeping staff. Pretty hot though.
00:38:44
Speaker
It was extraordinarily hot, let's not lie. It was really good. It was wildly sexy. um This sex scene, though, like once again, lots and lots of foreplay. And as we get closer to the sex, like the man showed cheek and I was like, oh, good for him. But then he does go full frontal throughout the sex scene. But the weirdest thing, and I think you're about to say the same exact thing, is that he is completely flaccid. 100% flaccid. which I don't understand because like he is human and I don't care if it's acting or not. This is a beautiful woman and I just watched you. is Maybe Cowboy Tom's actor is gay and he just, like no but even then, how is no part of this erotic to you?
00:39:40
Speaker
I feel like any sort of touching, it doesn't matter if you're into male or female, I feel like the amount of touching and kissing those two were doing. Should make the blood go to your dick. But also, there could have been 45 people on that set. And and maybe he's a little gun shy.
00:40:00
Speaker
but it never moved. Like even during the sex scene, like he pulls away like, ah, I just had great sex. But it's like, you. You did not. Did not. No one fluffed that thing. I can suspend my disbelief for a lot of things. Yes. So true. I can. It's for so much of this. I can suspend my disbelief, but not on this. And I want to run a phrase by you that like, stuck itself in the back of my head. And I don't know what I want to use it for. But it's Cowboy Tom's flaccid penis. Is it a band name? Is it a tumbler? Is it a what do I do with this, Garrett? I have this now. Yeah. Well, I mean, this is a running theme in these episodes. Maybe a tattoo. God damn it. Why is that your answer to everything?
00:40:55
Speaker
big If you don't know what to do with it, just tattoo it on your body and figure it out later. Figure it out later. Yeah. Hey mom, I got a tattoo. It says cowboy Tom's flaccid penis. It does seem like a punk band name, like ah but like a punk band on like a local level. Like, oh my God, did you hear Cowboy Tom's flaccid penis out of Fort Lauderdale? They have these really wild stage shows. The songs are really good. I heard they they might be going on tour with no effects on their farewells. They never make it that big, though. Yeah, it's hard to get out of Fort Lauderdale with a name like that.
00:41:40
Speaker
Hit the next scene, I'm sorry listeners, like we keep getting hung up on scenes but there's a lot to talk about and I know it's the far end of this already, but this next scene is really, really important to me and maybe the most important scene of the the whole movie for several reasons. yeah yeah so After she leaves, Cowboy Tom, there's a knock at the door, gets killed. And the next day we see the crime scene of his dead body in there, which does include a full shot of his mutilated chopped off dick and balls. It was it is amazing. It's gruesome. like It is horrifying.
00:42:20
Speaker
Like for today's standards, this was well done makeup and effects work. For 1989, wild. Yeah. Yeah. Cowboy Tom is now laying spread eagle on the bed. No dick. Please let me walk us through on this one. ah Please. okay yeah I seed the floor, sir. We are with the doofiest cop with a hilarious little like 70s Afro. He is approached by another cop and he says, you got my sandwich where they went heavy on the ketchup and a ketchup heavy sandwich. So keep that in mind for as they walk down the hall. He walks into he walks into the crime scene, man on bed, penis cut off, blood everywhere. And we are introduced to hot lady detective. Yeah.
00:43:17
Speaker
yeah And he walks in with his sandwich still in the wrapper, says, pretty messy show, and then starts unwrapping his sandwich. see when he yeah unwrapped When he unwraps this sandwich, he said heavy on the ketchup. Guys, I don't know what kind of sandwich this was other than red. The red ketchup, the contents are ketchup. He is eating he is eating a ketchup, like a burger sized ball of ketchup. It is impossible to determine what kind of sandwich it may have been. It is a ketchup sandwich, as best I can tell. And- If I asked my toddler how much ketchup do you want on your sandwich and gave him the option to do it himself, it would be this sandwich that this man is eating. At the crime scene. Followed by the funniest line in the whole goddamn movie.
00:44:16
Speaker
which hot lady cop first line says, could you tell me what happened here? And then this guy's response, and I swear to God, I didn't write this movie guys. Cause if I wrote this scene, this is exact dialogue I would have used. So no notes. His response, yeah, there's a lot lot of blood around cause they cut this guy's dong off. His penis, his male organ, you know, his member. Oh, and his balls. I'm sorry. and he's that test testicle He goes through like six things for balls. He's like his hog, pe shaft his He's like going through like a bloodhound gang list of naughty words to say before he lands on penis. Well, eating a ketchup sandwich that is so noisy and gross.
00:45:09
Speaker
Yeah. And the sexy lady cop can't handle it. Uh, she starts to get a little, I don't honestly, I think it may have been his sandwich that made her nausea.
00:45:21
Speaker
ah
00:45:25
Speaker
It's ah bla god the sandwich and his like blank groin looked the same. Yeah. Yeah. So she goes into the bathroom to compose herself and she's clearly ah having some kind of like and PTSD flashback reaction to something because she's going to have some trauma of her own. ah In her past because that's how this thing works next thing we know we're watching what it turns out is a ah dream sequence of her showing up at the sex ruins and Getting attacked with the nipples She had a very red see-through very sexy like I like that her dreams are so sexy like very very sexual horror dream and Yes. And then ah she's on the ground and the the the scissors are threatening the nipple. It's didn't like it.
00:46:22
Speaker
This already bumps, like at that moment, I was like, no matter what happens in this, like no matter what happens, the thrill level is already very high because I am tense watching the, like the inside part of the scissors gently squeeze on an erect nipple. Like I, I already saw what happened to that cock. They are not afraid to show me something awful in this movie. Yep. No, I was so nervous, kid. I was so fucking nervous. And then instead they drag the scissors over to the other nipple, leaving a trail of blood. and They're really making a meal out of this. And then right as the scissors are about to be jammed into
00:47:11
Speaker
her lady bits, ah she wakes up, it's all a dream. And before she wakes up, once again, horrific. Horrific shot, how far I see the scissors disappear. I don't see them go in, obviously, but the angle was like this would like, this makes sense why it's on shutter. The horrific bits of this movie are truly horrific. Yep, yep, yep. And that's when you see that she is in bed with a woman. She is, in fact, a lesbian. This is where they're holding a newspaper and we see the cover the the front page of the newspaper is this man's dick and balls missing. It literally says, castrated corpse found in a hotel with a full photo. Italian newspapers know how to sell papers.
00:48:04
Speaker
Extra, extra, read all about it. Corpse loses dick and balls. Balls, penis, chef, nudibits, all of it gone. All of it gone, read about it here. Here exclusive with photographs.
00:48:24
Speaker
up Close, pulled back, what angles do you need? No, dick, present. Only 25 cents. yeah It was a nightmare. That was awesome. Honestly, if we could get that, I would hang that paper on my wall. ah Like if we could get that movie prop, like that would be a very important movie prop to me and it would hang above my desk. Yes. And so Deborah, our our protagonist is with ah her husband and she's crying and upset because the man she had sex with is on the front page without a dick and balls and dead.
00:49:04
Speaker
And I love the line that her husband says, Deborah, you're dumb, but I love you. It's, you know, tough love, tough love. She doesn't seem that dumb I mean, she is dumb that like, I don't know, the dialogue he's putting into his his writing and stuff is all exact dialogue from the murder. Yeah, yeah. Including the line about the $50 hotel. And she's like, I'm upset that you're writing me as the killer.
00:49:38
Speaker
that's that's fucked up i didn't kill this dude and he's like didn't kill but if you did like that'd be a super hot and be a super hot novel right like that would be great And they get into a little bit of a diff and she pulls this paraplegic ass out of his wheelchair and they have floor sex. Because I guess his dick was working all along. Therefore, he could have been doing his husbandly duties for his wife. Well, Stella's getting his groove back, like all of this hooking. Yeah, it was a psychological block. And now he's, yeah, they're fucking on the floor. Oh, then we go see sexy lady cop shows up at the police station and turns out her girlfriend, what do we call her, blonde cop?
00:50:25
Speaker
Yeah, her like journalist girlfriend. Yeah. um it's it's yeah She's also he says she's a journalist. She is not. She sold the story to the paper because sexy lady cop had had confessed to her girlfriend that her own mother had Lorena Bobbited her dad had cut off his his dick. And so Girlfriend apparently sold the story to the paper so that it would be obvious that sexy lady cops should be taken off the case, and it would be assigned instead to the girlfriend. But that doesn't even work. It doesn't get assigned to the girlfriend. She is just assistant now to the male cop who gets assigned the case instead.
00:51:15
Speaker
And I'm wondering if Italy just has like, well, you know, it was the eighties, maybe they had a rule. You can only have one sexy lady cop on your payroll and she wanted to take that spot.
00:51:31
Speaker
No explanation there. I don't know. i That's as good as any. So the, the girlfriend, uh, it says some pretty horrible things like, oh, I understand now why you're repulsed by men. I'm like, I don't see how that would do that. Like, first of all, I get that, like, this is obviously from a time and place where ah being gay was pathologized, right? It was in the DSM as like, this is a mental disorder.
00:52:03
Speaker
But I don't see, even from a Freudian perspective, how your mom assaulting your dad would make you a lesbian. Yes, Garrett? Did you- I don't know. Garrett, in your ample experience as both a Freudian scholar and a lesbian, would you care to comment? Yeah. Most of my lesbian experience deals with the music I listen to and not as much with castration.
00:52:34
Speaker
So I got, I don't, I don't know, but it would be interesting to, to bring a psychologist on and see if there's some truth to that. We'll ask Jim Belushi if we get him on here. All right. So, um, Deborah and her husband are having sex ah and, um, this is the room where the one where she's getting dressed in front of him. and Oh yeah. She does this, the sexy reverse striptease. It's so hot. It's really good. and This is like, if no joke, if I'm making a list, like this is maybe up there with like bound or something is like one of my favorite like sexy scenes we've seen in any of these movies. ah It is it did something for me. You wouldn't think it because she's putting clothes on. But damn, she's making eye contact the whole time, like the way she moves, the way it's all gold.
00:53:33
Speaker
It makes me think I should watch most of these movies in reverse. I think my thing is people getting dressed. ah You could get um the nine and a half weeks ah with the, you can leave your hat on, but do it, just play it backwards. see ah See how that does it for you. Or I could just watch them put all the food back in the fridge.
00:54:01
Speaker
is the i My thing is watching people clean a mess up. You know what? Because you didn't like seeing the champagne pouring onto her tits. Maybe if it were going into the bottle, that would do it for you. ah don't Don't talk dirty to me on this podcast.
00:54:21
Speaker
I've got a family.
00:54:25
Speaker
So point is then there ah she's throwing herself naked on the bed sobbing because he totally ruins the striptease by being like, yeah, you're just like my the girl in my story. And she's like, no, I'm not. She is though. She's literally that literally that lady. And then what happens, kid? They're having sex on the bed and mom walks. How long does mom watch, Kit? Too fucking long, Garrett. Too fucking long. How many Mississippi's would you say she stood there for? Because I counted near 20. It really is. And it's watching her son pleasure a woman because he his head is down there when mom comes in and she comes in saying ah the dinner's ready.
00:55:25
Speaker
and then stands there for a very uncomfortable amount of time, and then walks away saying, supper is now going to be a bit late. See, that's one where it's like, well, their food's gonna get cold, might've been a better line, but no one asked me. I feel...
00:55:45
Speaker
Go eat your dinner, mom. Just leave the plates like you don't have to do. First of all, is this inappropriate that like it seems like they left the door open and that's why mom was able to just walk up. Not for sure. Yeah, she did not knock. She just walked into an open room. But the fact that she stands there for so. um Folks, let me just give you a taste of this. One Mississippi, picture you're watching somebody close to you that you wouldn't want to see doing something naughty to somebody else. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, here it's four Mississippi, five Mississippi, six Mississippi, six Mississippi, you already wanna kill yourself. 20, 20 Mississippi. I do wanna kill eli myself.
00:56:35
Speaker
Please just let me leave and her face doesn't change at all. She's just like calmly taking it in like, yep, that's my son. He's a giver. He's pleasuring his wife. Good for him. He gets to keep his dick. So, then you we cut we next see sexy lady cop is trying to win back her girlfriend. I don't know why. Girlfriend's clearly an asshole. ah And there are some really great lines where ah sex the girlfriend is saying like, well, I have a man now and he has everything you don't have. And sexy lady cop responds with both inches of it. Damn.
00:57:21
Speaker
fucking burn. Absolutely. And then next thing you know, we're having a. Translated sick burn. Yeah, seriously. And then there's a they're they're they're straight up cat fighting and girlfriend is really hammering home like you're a lesbian. You're messed up. That's gross. And I'm like, you so lived with her. This wasn't just like i I did a one-night stand so that I could get dirt on my co-worker so that I could get her thrown off the case. No, no, no. They say on the news later that she lived with her. So, yeah okay, so you're bisexual. That does not make you in any way ah somehow morally superior to a lesbian. What is your deal? I don't get it.
00:58:13
Speaker
It's fun to gaslight somebody that you're never gay. It is really funny. it's like It's like a dude getting sucked off by another dude. And then he's like, fucking homo. And you're like, what? What? What? What? You're both gay. You're gay. You're gay. Anyway, so ah ah her homophobia possibly self-loathing does not last long. Because next thing you know, she's getting scissors to the neck. And then presumably the vagina. Presumably they clearly the the body when seen afterwards has the exact same like pattern
00:58:58
Speaker
of blood across the chest and then down the stomach that our girl had in her dream. And so it's you're pretty confident like so she's the killer. gar I want to know in order who you thought the killer was going through the movie like your first thought. So. We haven't even gotten to like some of the stuff yet, though, that made me I guess like Let's just kind of like spill the beans on some of this stuff. Cause like, we're like one scene away from like being able to explain a little more, which is she's, Deborah gets dressed up. She's going to go out for a night of hooking again, a little- Because he told her to. She doesn't seem like she wants to, but he's like, you have to do it for my book. Fuck you. Once again, she's dressed really hot, leaves the house. As soon as she walks out of the house,
00:59:53
Speaker
homeboy in the wheelchair stands up and my god I was legitimately surprised kit because part of this movie I don't know the timeline I don't know when their wedding was to now yeah so I don't know if he's been in the wheelchair for three months or three years there's no way to know but He has been faking this this whole fucking time, despite living in a ah very non ADA compliant house. So like presumably his life has been extremely difficult when no one's around or when people are around, yeah when people are around, which he lives with his mother. So people are around. So he leaves hops in the car. Meemaw is looking around the house ah like, where did he go? And
01:00:44
Speaker
Then his sister walks through the door who is hot lady cop. Yeah, sexy lady cop. Turns out his mom's other kid is ah husband, wheelchair man's not wheelchair man's lying wheelchair man's half sister. So I guess at this point, like I'm like, oh man, wheelchair man is killer. And then when I find out that's his sister, like as it goes on a little bit, I don't know if it's because I wasn't paying enough attention or like the tone of the person doing the voice, but it seemed like sister was in on it. I don't know. like It did. ah But to answer the question though, who did you think was the killer at this point? like
01:01:29
Speaker
I from the moment I read the description that you sent me on the cover, I was like, obviously the husband did it. he's He's in a wheelchair that makes him obviously not a suspect, especially since like the first guy who gets killed is on the staircase. And I'm like, obviously he's faking. He's the killer. ah Then I got a little bit um sucked in by the idea that Sexy Lady Cop did it because the the pattern on the dead woman was exactly like her dream. I'm like, who the hell else would know that? And then I was like, I don't think this movie is smart enough to care about that. I don't think that's necessarily a real clue.
01:02:10
Speaker
so And it would be odd that she had a dream of killing herself. Yeah, it would. um So then i after that, i I was like, it's the mom. And I have to tell you, I watched this with John and the first thing he said when ah the when the mother showed up was, she's the killer. Like the first time we saw her, he said, she's the killer.
01:02:39
Speaker
Even then though, like let's let's keep going into the movie. like Spoiler, she is the killer, but like I don't even think that's clear all the way. like It's a little confusing at the end, but let's take a trip to Freak Boys Town where the husband sends her. Freak Boys Town fucking rules. It's hot gay dudes in hot outfits dressed like, like it is West Hollywood party except under a bridge with burning. Like trash cans. Yeah. Yeah. It definitely gave me a little bit of like the Warriors vibe because they all seem to have their different like random ah theme. yeah and They were all themed. Yeah. The one she chooses is the boxer. I don't know why.
01:03:27
Speaker
He's dressed like a little fifties boy. Like if this were a little boxing glove. Yeah, he's like, but I only jerk off with the glove or he says something like that. But then you see him, him fucking her and the glove is on the ground. So either he made a, ah he changed his mind or glove is actually what he meant in terms of condom. It was, yeah, it was confusing though. Cause she shows up and it's like a prostitution alley of, But it's clearly a gay prostitution alley. But then again, I guess if you're a sex worker and like, ah it's you know, you're not going to be, the you know, certainly there are people there that are going to be willing to to have sex with her for money. So like, it's not a terrible idea.
01:04:12
Speaker
I was confused with the interaction though, cause she's there dressed as a prostitute with the prostitute. And I'm like, wait a minute. Did he be like, actually I'll take you. Like who did he, was he expecting to get paid or was he paying her? He was expecting to get paid and he did get paid. He did, okay. so um yeah There ain't no party like a freak like a freak boy's party. Freak boy's town party. Don't stop. Which is funny because I live near ah Chicago's boy's town and I'm like, why is it not freak boy's town? That's so much better.
01:04:49
Speaker
yeah
01:04:53
Speaker
they're driving through, uh, cause sexy lady cop is like, Oh no, we gotta go save your son and his wife from the murderer. So we gotta to go, we gotta go to freak boys town. And mama is clearly uncomfortable here, which understandable, right? Like I get it. And we see the, um, so we see sexy lady cop is on the phone. She's talking to somebody being like, Yeah, mama's not cured. She's not okay. And we're like, oh shit. Apparently, like she sees Frank. ah Sorry. My brain is broken. Why is this called Arabella? Her name was Deborah. Well, I think Arabella was going to be the the dark angel in his book. Oh, that makes sense.
01:05:50
Speaker
Frank appears out of the shadows after Debra pays her boxer ah boxer sex worker and she says, Frank, oh no. Frank, oh no, it is. I think the person who had had to read that line didn't get to see the whole script. Like, I think they're like, you done that person who read that line did not know that he previously couldn't walk. No, I don't think so. Yeah. And he explains, you know, he has a perfectly logical reason for why he pretended to be paralyzed. It's that he had writer's block and he thought this would cure it. Wild.
01:06:38
Speaker
and he And he's like, okay, oh, stop, stop, stop. I know you think I'm the killer just because I lied about being paralyzed. I am not the killer. It's a totally normal thing I did. And it's totally fine that like I was just gonna, after each book came out and was successful, I would get a little better. And and then by the end, once the writer's block had been totally cured, I would also be cured. So like I don't see what ah why you're so mad. Now give me some able body sex. I've been pretending for too long and I wanna kick. I wanna shake my legs.
01:07:16
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And then he's like, he's like, you're an info and you need me. And I'm like, no, she doesn't. She can clearly get anything she needs anywhere she wants. She needs you like she needs a fucking hole in the head. You are the one with the writer's block that could only be cured by sending your wife out to go have sex with strangers who then got murdered. That's what you pretend to be in a wheelchair. You pretend to be in a wheelchair. That's why I'm so confused. Like how long did he pretend to be in the wheelchair? There's no timeline to this. I don't, I don't know. I don't know. You don't have to answer. I mean, it's no one knows. Anyway, so, uh, next thing you know, Frank's on top of her and, um, she doesn't forcefully and she does not want it. And, uh,
01:08:15
Speaker
He gets stabbed in the back by his mom. This a thing that made this scene a little more confusing, too, is like, yeah, I also even though Frank is telling me he isn't the killer, he is wearing the same black gloves the killer has been wearing the whole movie. And I also don't believe it. Fun fact about Italy, everyone owns those black leather gloves driving. Yeah, everybody owns them. They do. and Or maybe mama borrowed them for all the murdering. When mama killed baby boy, I almost didn't even believe she did all the other murders either.
01:08:58
Speaker
It seemed like she saw her daughter-in-law getting attacked and saved the day. Are you arguing that Mama was secretly this whole time just like a good person who saw her daughter-in-law getting attacked and was like, oh, no, I knew she was an info, but like, I didn't know she would be out here in danger. I will come rescue her. Oh, no, it was my son. I'm saying tone and vibe of this movie are weird in the presentation of the potential killers even when they tell me who the killer is I didn't believe them.
01:09:38
Speaker
I'm not saying it's not possible but there was part of me that's like I don't know. I mean, she didn't know she was killing her son. Like that was very, very upset when yeah he falls over and she realizes she has killed her own son. And I want to also point out that like.
01:09:57
Speaker
The whole point was that the cop, the sexy lady cop was like, we're going to stop the murder. I got to stop the murder. I got it. She doesn't fucking stop shit. She doesn't do anything. She she even what is the point of any of this? ah ah She is a bad cop. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Why do you think they didn't want her on the case? Damn, you're right. They know. Yeah, yeah, they do.
01:10:26
Speaker
So basically she gets, Deborah gets to live a life in the cool house alone. Well first she spends six months in a sanatorium. Well you gotta get some smarts knocked back into you, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, a sexy lady cop picks her up from the the ah hospital and she's like, maybe you can, you know, heal. And Deborah says, there's nothing I need to be healed from. I'm like, your mother-in-law stabbed your husband while he was raping you. You need therapy. You need like a lot of therapy. No, no.
01:11:14
Speaker
Back to the woods brothel baby. Put a coin in the sin bin and enjoy your pleasures. And there is, ah they the camera lingers on a bit of graffiti on the wall, which I did bother to do Google translate for. It says, vice is not a sin and honesty knows no shame. And i don't i don't know what um I don't know what the message here is, ah but she's back at the the vogue the Italian Vogue sex party and good for her. And the movie freeze frames right as she's about to give a blowjob but credits. I mean, honestly, that is impressive as far as like freeze frame end of movie to be like as
01:12:11
Speaker
just before a blowjob, like, I'm impressed. The thing is though, she's about to give a blowjob, she wants to give. This is the, like, she enjoyed some of the other sex we saw her have, but this is the first one that it's like, this is for Debbie. yes This one's for Debbie. Debbie, thank you. Ere bella. This is not for my husband and his dumb fucking book. my liar husband and his book, this is for me. And I love that for her. And you know what? The Giallo film is in many ways
01:12:49
Speaker
a jao jar is a precursor to the the slasher film of the American 90s aughts right but in those uh the it's the final the final girl is always the virgin right Debbie gets to love sex and, uh, she ends up getting to have sex. Like she lives. No, no one else does. And she gets to live her best life at the end. The truly is a happily ever after. It really is. She has a new friend in sexy lady cop and our sister-in-law. It is sister-in-law. I guess technically. Yeah. Good for good for her.
01:13:39
Speaker
I enjoyed this movie a lot. As the movie went, like when the movie started, I was just like, what are we doing? but What am I doing with my life? You texted me that you didn't think you were old enough to watch this. This movie was too naughty for me. Even at 37 years old, this movie is too goddamn naughty. But man, it had gave me two big laughs. It gave me a couple like actual scares, like some cringes. And it this man yet a lot absolutely gave you some real boners. Like, come on, Garrett, come on.
01:14:19
Speaker
The scene where she was getting dressed was like crazy hot. Crazy, like that is, yeah. let's Let's go ahead and put this in a number form. Garrett, scale one to five, were you aroused?
01:14:35
Speaker
She blows out the candle penis at the beginning. she Like just the the amount of boobs in the first scene, the amount of genitalia, the amount of everybody is having sex. Like that we didn't even mention there's like creepy old weird men who just, you know, they threw some money in the send bin there too. It's not everybody here's hot. ah There's weird old lady that spits on her and licks that guy's ear. That was pretty good. um The sex scenes are just pornography. I i mean, if it were just the scene of her getting dressed because in that scene, she looks like Betty Page. She looks like a pinup girl. She's very, very attractive. That would be a five on its own. But the rest of the movie, we get so much. So five, five. It has to be five. It's five. It's five. you We basically watched well lit pornography with a plot.
01:15:31
Speaker
For sure, like a not terrible plot too. Like we're not, this isn't like pizza guy shows up to the door plot. Like this is- No, it keeps a guessing on who the killer is and what their motivation is. And yeah, it's all legit. It's a competent mystery with a lot of pornography. It is, ah it I mean, this is what erotic thrillers could be if yeah we weren't such prudes in the United States. So true. All right, Gar, were you thrilled? I will say, for sure. I'm just like, where do I go between a four and a five? Do I do a four and a half? Because the scissors on the nipple was so cringy. So scary.
01:16:20
Speaker
Like I cared more about those nipples not getting cut off than I have about any character in any movie we've watched. Even my favorite characters. Certainly more than you cared about the cat in and the last one. In Malicious. In Malicious. um I love cats. I was just happy to see the dead puppet. I guess four. I'll go four. Like it's a it's a high four. OK, I'm going to go a little lower because while ah the scene with the nipples was absolutely on edge of your seat. No, no, no, please don't. um Overall, like the pacing isn't super great at ratcheting up the tension necessarily. You're never worried that Debbie is in any danger because the only people that get killed are the men she sleeps with. So it doesn't seem like it's not.
01:17:16
Speaker
and and the decision as you pointed out of who the killer is is kind of arbitrary like what on earth is her motivation for this she's like protecting her son by killing the men her daughter-in-law sleeps with like it's absolute batshit which does detract a little bit from the tension of and the thrill so I'm gonna put it at a Did we even mention that the mom at one point like wants to read his book? And she's like, I don't think you could handle it, mom. And she's like, I've read two daughters, or I've had two- Kids. Two spouses and a kid with both of them. I have seen it all and I can handle anything. She's castrated a man. She's castrated a man, yeah. She has seen it. She was not kidding when she said she'd seen it all. um So yeah, I'm gonna put it at a 3.5.
01:18:05
Speaker
That's fair. I do think five would have been too high, but I don't know. I think it did still do something as far as the kills that like were gross and fun and kind of what I would want in ah in a horror movie. It's a big ah swing, though, because like the the paparazzi blackmailer guy just getting like what one stab in the gut. That's not that exciting. But then you see the the castrated guy on the bed and you're like, holy shit. So there's a wide variety in how how intense the kills are. Need that newspaper.
01:18:43
Speaker
You need that newspaper. All right. And would you ruin your life for the the dark angel, the black angel herself, Deborah? arabella
01:18:56
Speaker
Yes. yes yeah Yes. Yes, I would. She seemed like a nice lady. um She might not be very faithful to you, but also I've got two functioning legs and who knows what her life was like before marriage. Garrett, he had two functioning legs too. Yeah, but it wasn't until he pretended not to that we know of. that she was going that she was sewing up at the thin bin yeah it's true yeah i mean
01:19:36
Speaker
She seemed like a good lady. She's got some vices. She seemed like a nice lady. She seemed like she was a loving wife who wanted to make him happy. She doesn't seem like, I mean, she throws herself onto furniture and cries a lot, but only because he gives her reasons too. Yeah. I mean, no one else in this movie would I ruin my life, but like, I mean, she's a Betty Page pinup. girl nymphomania, like what are we saying? What if I even said, yeah, I would ruin my life for her too, 100%. Look at her. Look at her. Can you say your name once for me please? Erebella. Erebella. I love it. This movie was fun as hell. It was. Like we need to definitely start doing some movies that people have fucking heard of, but um I'm not mad that we're watching them
01:20:34
Speaker
No, absolutely not. And I would say like if we're recommending this, like obviously if ah watching a rape scene or seeing a fan's castrated penis is kindnna it's gonna upset you, you know this one may not be for you, but if you if you can handle those things, go do it, see it. These movies are mostly trigger warnings, like ah like half at least. Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess that's part of the nature of the beast, right? Yeah. This one.
01:21:09
Speaker
I don't know, I had not heard of this movie. This was one that I saw, um shit, let me see. I saw, it was on letter boxed and I had seen that somebody I follow, oh, it was, um yeah, I was looking at letter boxed and I follow Sean Baker who wrote Tangerine, The Florida Project, Red Rocket. Didn't he also actually just win at cons?
01:21:38
Speaker
I think they won best like the the the the golden poem this year. But yeah, um he he makes movies. I saw him post that he had just watched it. He didn't put a review or anything, but I saw the cover and that was obviously enough for me to think we probably should watch that too if an acclaimed filmmaker watched this. You were not wrong. It was it was an excellent choice.
01:22:01
Speaker
Well. Mm-hmm. Give us a follow at Erotic Thriller Club. Questions, comments, concerns, a movie recommendation, whatever. Erotic Thriller Club at gmail dot.com. We want to talk to you. We'd like to interact with you guys. If you have a copy of that newspaper prop and you would like, you know, for Garrett to have it, it ah shoot him ah an email or a DM. We would love that so much. Give me a follow on Letterboxd at Gartet. Let's chat movies together.
01:22:35
Speaker
And as always, kid, do you want to say it this week? We won't, no. Thank you for listening. We love you. We want to shake you naked and eat you alive. Thank you. Thank you. See you next week.