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Crashing Da Whip at Da China Food Spot
56 Plays1 year ago
We all get into car accidents on the same day
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Transcript
Opening Remarks & Humor
00:00:10
Speaker
Happy National Prayer Day. Stay prayed up. God bless you. You never know. You never know? Why? You're going bushwhacking somewhere and you need swords to protect you? I'm sure that you would not need a fully functional double-edged sword. Well, I don't know. They're cool, okay? I know.
00:00:36
Speaker
If I want to sleep in for a bit, I'm not going to get up and go right to work. Bubbles is like, oh, come help me clean these balls in my shed. Sure. Well, let me fucking sleep in for a minute first. This is sick, Bob.
Fantastical Stories & Personal Life
00:00:48
Speaker
And I never told the story on air because it's so fantastical. Oh, God. They had in tanks people with gills. They were little babies. They were just gulping, clawing at the sides. You see a turtle at the zoo and it wants out and you feel for it.
00:01:04
Speaker
They got cubanoids crossed with fish and stuff. Jason Williams was really good, but he was a Lowry bird. I like Jason Williams. Was he white? Yeah, but what's his nickname? White chocolate. Hey, yo.
00:01:32
Speaker
Vegan British has to be wild, you know? Because you don't really, you don't have any superheroes. You don't have really any superheroes. You have, you have Paddington Bear, right? Which I kind of get, he's like this kind of like, little just like, oh hey, you know, kind of little on Paddington, you know? He's like, whatever, you know, he does his thing or whatever. And then, who else? Sherlock Holmes.
00:02:02
Speaker
I mean, look man, I'm my cousin gay. I got gay people in my family. I'm not homophobic. People say, oh, y'all ain't poor, y'all ain't poor. I got gay relatives. I got no problem. I just like to know where you stand.
00:02:24
Speaker
Picture this, you find yourself here listening to the most genuine podcast ever created. A part of the family trust tree, a part of the group chat, listening, waiting, wanting, loving, breathing, smelling, loving again. Now picture this, its dudes are us. Like I don't know what's happening. And yeah, I might just fucking die.
Travel & Purchases
00:02:49
Speaker
Man, last time I got really close to throwing up was in Pittsburgh.
00:02:53
Speaker
Yeah, you make yourself just because you were in Pittsburgh. Yeah, just was like, fuck this sucks. Just without that board throw up when you're just like, I'm bored. Throw up.
00:03:09
Speaker
Yo, I'm mad bored right now. I'm gonna throw up. He's grab a small, the small trash can just start puking. I'm not bored anymore. Go for a walk then downtown Pittsburgh and shove your hand down your throat. You can throw up. I'm not bored anymore. I see these, these things flying around all the time in Florida, Paul.
00:03:33
Speaker
Bro, once we get that first me on these check, all three of us have to get one of these. I can't. I'm a monkey. I'm reserved for fucking motorcycles and dirt bikes after I almost killed myself the second time. You guys can't hold up. This thing's small. It won't hurt you.
00:03:49
Speaker
Oh, oh, brother. I'm gonna get a golf cart and I'll follow you guys. I believe you almost killed yourself on a moped dirt bike to same scenario. Sometimes you just have too much fun, man.
Guns, Safety & Imagination
00:04:06
Speaker
I think it might just be my, you know, I think if I had a gun, I'd probably just shoot somebody because I need to just get it up. Like I told you guys, I just I'll be driving in my truck. I just opened the door to make sure it opens still while I'm driving.
00:04:17
Speaker
Yeah. I was talking earlier today about how much I want a gun. Yeah. And she was like, why do you want a gun? And I was like, for like gun situations, like you need a gun. You know, I was like, that's the point. I don't know when I'll need a gun. That's why I want it. What if I need to like, like, I don't plan on doing anything where like the cops are going to raid my house, but like, what if they do? Like if I'm going to go out or if it's going to be like 30 to life or death right now, like I'm taking one of them with me, you know,
00:04:46
Speaker
then suddenly you get captured inside of a boat, inside of a winterized boat. Yeah. Or that. Or what if I'm like at a, you know, what if I'm, what if I'm at like Walmart and some disgruntled white dude decides to start shooting, then I can be a hero. Yeah, I always think that I'm just gonna run through the back employee exit.
00:05:10
Speaker
Yeah. Get the fuck out of the fucking way. So, I'm going on? No, no, no. You're fine. You're fine. I just, I have anxiety. Yeah, someone run out there. Come check. Slow them down. Go run out there. You know what? You know who I didn't get enough credit? That boat that took all that bullets from the Boston Marathon that capturing.
00:05:39
Speaker
Basically boats are basically bulletproof. I guess no one really talked about that. You went to rise a boat You could fucking take you could you could have taken down that kill dozer guy if you had a winter Yeah, it turns out you can just fire like 300 rounds into like a dinghy Impenetrable force field
00:06:10
Speaker
Whoever makes see do should use that in their advertising. You know how many fucking rounds this thing take? If you just lay down there in the prayer position, you could take 400 fucking rounds on this thing from all angles. The police can shuck a propane tank at you.
00:06:33
Speaker
Oh, but you just got to lay down on the bow or whatever the fuck it is and just pray to God that you don't get hit by one. Just get clipped in the shoulder and you're like, all right, let's see. I survived Russian World War Three. It protects all vital organs. It's just a tank pulling fucking six winterized boats around.
00:07:01
Speaker
That fucking rules, dude. Bro, Pentagon needs to get on that boat armor for all of our troops. Every household gets a... instead of a gun, dude, just get a winterized boat.
Thrills & Accidents
00:07:18
Speaker
Oh, fuck. That's funny as fuck. Paul, where'd you get the idea for this motorcycle?
00:07:29
Speaker
Um, I honestly don't even remember. I just saw it on something today and I was like, damn, the thing looks fun as fuck. Yeah. Dudes on the fucking in my neighborhood, ride those things down the sidewalk on literally 55 miles an hour. I wonder if it's hard to get a motorcycle license in mass. It's not class M licenses. Like, no, it's not hard at all. Florida. They just give them away.
00:07:59
Speaker
Yeah, I don't even think you need to take I didn't they just didn't actually did they not just genuinely change the law in Florida that you don't have to do driver's ed? Oh, I'm not sure that'd make a lot of sense. I think you probably just go to an automated machine now and fucking figure it out. Yeah. But there's no driver's ed and there's no like driving test to get your license. Damn. I might be making that up. Don't factor.
00:08:30
Speaker
Oh, my God. Saturday, I fucking was at a stoplight down here and I reached into my glove box and I like rolled and tapped the back of this lady's car. And she was a Mandarin woman. OK. Oh, my God. Do no damage at all. Like not even a scratch in the paint. And this bitch was like, oh, I'm going to call the cops. I'm like, what are you going to call the fucking cops about? There's no damage here, lady.
00:09:00
Speaker
And then I realized that she probably was like taught that like you live in Florida, this guy is going to sue you for $2 million somehow because it's a no fault state or whatever. Yeah, girl, it was like two an hour and a half. And she finally was like, you know what, the cops said they're not coming. And when she was saying that, like 10 minutes before I saw two cops.
00:09:22
Speaker
literally across the street, just parked side by side in the Wawa parking lot and he didn't lunch. I was I was like, yo, if this bitch fucking tries to claim any damage, I'm going to fucking have a field day on this shit. It was it was probably the worst situation ever, because usually, you know, I'm not blaming anybody because they're not, you know, too well versed in being American. Yeah.
00:09:51
Speaker
but she didn't speak that well of English and she was like very taking every step by like reading it off of what to do in a car accident. But it wasn't even a car accident. There's no fucking damage lady. What are you doing?
00:10:02
Speaker
Yeah. I actually had an extremely similar situation like a month or two ago, but it was in a parking lot. Um, and I was just turning into a space too sharp and like just, just clipped, uh, the back left bumper of someone's car with my French, right. Like a little bit of like a paint scratch that I'm positive would have like buffed out or whatever, but he was like, uh,
00:10:32
Speaker
I'll say Somalian but you know just some kind of like Central African dude that didn't speak English his son was there who was like kind of half translating for him but he had no idea what he was like what do I do and I was like well honestly dude like I don't think that's real damage but like if you'll take a couple hundred bucks I can like go to that ATM and give you a couple hundred bucks and he was like no like what do I do and all right dude like then we exchange insurance information but like honestly
00:11:01
Speaker
they're gonna they're gonna look at these pictures and laugh that you put a you filed a claim for this. Right? I don't know how any of that shit works as I get like literally I probably claim for nothing like spit on my thumb and wipe the scratch off but I also get it same situation I was like he's he's his insurance was like through the state of math like he had like do you know what I mean like I don't know you'd call he had like
00:11:27
Speaker
weird insurance that I couldn't possibly have gotten. Oh yeah. I mean, well, he's definitely an Uber driver. That's hilarious. So you guys had such bad experiences with that. I fucking hit. I wasn't a bad, I mean, I didn't even, I didn't even call my insurance company because I was like, I don't care. And then they called me like two weeks later and they were like, Hey, we have this claim for like this. And I was like, yeah, that's true. That happened. And they were like, okay.
00:11:51
Speaker
you wrecked my car, you fucking wreck my car. I was like, I was like, let me know what his let me know what his claims adjuster appraises it as because like, I swear to God, I probably could have gotten rid of that scratch with spit. So if it comes in over like
00:12:07
Speaker
200 $300, which is still fucking, you know, a shop fleecing. I was like, then that's bullshit. I'll send you the pictures. And then they were like, we'll call you back. And then they never did. So I'm assuming it's fine. Oh, dude, I'm hoping that happens. This bitch fucking better not do that shit. If you even took it to a shop, you'd be crazy because you wouldn't even see. Dude, I was thinking all like license plate mark, bro. I got out like there is not even anything here. Right.
00:12:37
Speaker
Yeah. And I was like, honestly, do take the money. I was going to give you like 250 bucks. I was going to try to say that to her. But then my wife was like, she already thinks that you're a scumbag and you're going to drive off on this. So don't even offer me to make it worse. She wouldn't even understood. Anyways, it was pointless, bro. I was pulling into a Chinese food parking lot one time and I just like hit the fucking delivery driver's car with my old truck.
00:13:05
Speaker
And you had to like pull in behind the building. And I think I just like, I don't know if I wasn't paying attention or I was talking to Shannon or something. I hit the dude's car and then I go in and I'm like, Hey, I fucking hate your car. My bad dude. And he's like, Oh, you hit my car. And I was like, yeah. And he's like, all right, let's go look at it. We go out and he goes, where'd you hit it? I was like, I don't know on the back. And he's like, man, this car is a fucking piece of shit. I don't care.
00:13:34
Speaker
Damn, dude. That's awesome. I was like, holy shit, dude. I was like, you sure? He was like, yep, I'm good. Don't worry about it. Sorry, dude. I was I was pulling in cleaning my gun and I fucking did you fucking just ran into your car. My man did. Yeah, fuck that, dude. If I get a claim, I'm going to probably go nuclear. I figured out. No, there's no I mean, you know, what is it that it?
00:14:00
Speaker
It has to be like over a grand or whatever before it even affects your. Oh, all right. That makes me feel better though.
00:14:06
Speaker
Jared's person's just gonna be like, I have to repaint the whole car. You wreck my fucking car. I took pictures of everything. And that's why I said, I was like, I was like, if it comes in as like anything substantial, let me know because it's total bullshit. This was like cosmetic at best. Yeah, I got. Luckily, I mean, I knew it was going to happen last week. I got that dash cam I told you about. And I think I said that I was like, now I'm going to get into a fucking car accident. And I did. Yeah, you did say that.
00:14:36
Speaker
And I was like, Yo, bitch, don't worry. I got this on video. Don't even fucking think about it. And she still was like, I have to call police. I'm like, Yo, what are you doing? And then she gave me the excuse where she was like, Yeah, they said it's um,
00:14:52
Speaker
They're not gonna come it's Saturday. I was like, it doesn't matter what day it is for them. They're like one of the biggest police departments in Florida. It does not matter. Yeah, I'm not. It's fucking Saturday. The cops literally gave her the funniest answer possible. I mean, it's like Saturday. Yeah, I'm sure it probably had something to do with them just being like, who is this? Is there damage? But it's funny because like,
00:15:20
Speaker
So I, uh, I got an actual, like, like a real, not real accident, but like a real, my fault fuck up accident. Uh, a few years ago, like one that just dropped off my insurance like a year ago, but, um, no, that's a lie. That was a different one. Anyway, what happened was I was leaving my street that I lived on, which was a one way onto like a main road and the person, and I was taking a.
00:15:50
Speaker
I was taking a right and the person who was like going straight stopped to like let me turn and then the person behind them cut across
00:16:02
Speaker
like the wrong lane to pass them, basically just being like, fuck you, I'm not waiting, cut across. And then as I was making the turn, they were coming around that car that had stopped for me. And then you just scraped the entire right side of their car across off bumper and like fucked it up real bad, like so much worse than I thought it could have possibly been. And I had a fucking 15 year old Jeep at that point, did not care. One, it didn't really get any damage and two, I just didn't care. This guy's whole side of his car was fucked up. And uh,
00:16:32
Speaker
He called the police and mind you, we are within walking distance of the state police barracks. The one that's that was by Logan's run or Hogan's run. You remember that place? Where is it? We're Hogan's run in Brighton doesn't exist anymore. But like a bar near
00:16:55
Speaker
Leo on Leo Birmingham. It doesn't matter. There's a state police, Eric, say this was it within one. And he called the cops to come, like, you know, establish fault. And they were like, yeah, we're busy. We're not coming. I love the answer was that was the that was the saving grace for me, because I didn't have enough damage on my car to claim anything like I didn't care. And so when I called the insurance company, I was like, all right, here's the deal.
00:17:25
Speaker
I was 100% at fault, but the police did not come and establish fault. And, uh, and I'm not claiming anything. And they were like, cool. Like we'll take care of this. You're fine.
00:17:38
Speaker
they were like really the police didn't come and I was like no police report was filed they said they were too busy it was not a hit and run we both agreed like hey it's been we waited for like 40 minutes and police never came and he was like all right I gotta get going and I was like good I'm leaving too so like we both agreed like we're
Insurance & Legal Loopholes
00:17:55
Speaker
gonna deal with this later
00:17:59
Speaker
Like, oops, it changed my phone number. Yeah. And then he was like, you're not claiming anything. And, and there's, and you're telling me a story that sounds like he could have been found at fault, even though like you were turning onto a main road. And, uh, and, and we haven't received a report from his insurance agency yet. Like you got to us first. So like we're closing this. We're saying like, we're not covering it. You're good.
00:18:26
Speaker
We'll call you if anything changes. And then they never called. So I was like, cool. I got away with that one. That's so lucky. That's awesome. He was an Uber driver. His title was in Uber also. All right. Yeah, it doesn't matter then.
00:18:43
Speaker
I assume they have some kind of just got his job and his life. Well, I honestly that scared me more because because if it was just some schmuck, like maybe he would have let it go and been like, well, the cops didn't come. And I can't prove that it was that guy's fault. But when I saw that the Uber was the owner of the car, I was like, they have fucking lawyers and shit. They probably they'll come after me. But then I guess they're also Uber, so they don't give a shit. They're just like, oh, you got your cars damaged. Yeah, we'll fix it. If this is coming out of your pay.
00:19:11
Speaker
Yeah, we're gonna dock your pay for three and a half years. Next three and a half years. Because this dick had bulled and then hit you. Fucking dumbass, dude. I was so tempted to just drive off. I would, I would have done that when the parking lot incident for the guy was in the car. I was like, why the fuck are you just sitting in an idling car? I could have got away with this.
00:19:39
Speaker
My fucking door, my car. No, he came out so, he came out so casual. Oh no. Like that dude had seen some shit in Rwanda and like this didn't faze him at all. He came out like, What do I do?
00:19:54
Speaker
Came out of his car slow, walked over, looked at it, looked at me. He was like, what do we do? And I was like, do you want some money? I don't think it's that big of a deal. And he looked at it and he was like, no, insurance. And I was like, okay. I'm not calling a cop to the Wegmans parking lot. Let's just do this. They're already there. There's refuse.
00:20:24
Speaker
Yeah, it's a Saturday. The cops said they're busy. One time in my old apartment, I got out of my car and I opened up my door too fast and smashed the other person's side view mirror off. Okay. Like just took off the car and it was dangling. It was like pretty late at night.
00:20:56
Speaker
And I was like, what the fuck? But it was going to be like a blizzard that night, right? So I just didn't say anything. And they just assumed that the people who plowed the driveway headed off. And I was like, that's a freebie. That's a good situation right there, dude. Yeah. I was like, damn, that's crazy. I saw the woman the next day. And she's like, fucking people hit my car mirror off. And I was like, oh, man. That's fucking crazy.
00:21:28
Speaker
Yeah, that's a that's a good save. I can't think of any other time. I think I backed in. Yeah, I was with my mom one time and I was giving her a ride home and I was on a ton of mushrooms and I backed into some of this car and we just looked at it. We're like, there's no damage. We just kept and then we just drove off. That wasn't a really big deal. But I was very happy that
00:21:55
Speaker
She didn't snitch or want to do anything nice. She was also a nice scumbag. Yeah, parents in those situations are crucial. I got in a, I got the worst accident I ever got in when I was like 17 or something and I was driving at night and I wasn't supposed to. And I, uh, I maintain that I astro, that I astro planed, that I hydro planed.
00:22:17
Speaker
Wow. Hell yeah. On a road I shouldn't have been going as fast as I was going, but whatever. Hydroplane on a road where I was going straight and then there's kind of an abrupt turn and I hydroplane and went straight off the road into a telephone pole. I just was like in that 17-year-old freaked out, whatever. I don't know what to do.
00:22:44
Speaker
couldn't get the car to start and I called my mom and was like, because I was kind of near my house and I was like, I think I need you to pick me up. I crashed the car. I can't get it to start. And so she drove, she drove over and you know, she gets out and we're like fucking with the car and we figure out why it's not starting. And she's like, all right, we need to get the fuck out of here before, before any police come and see that you damaged this. Hell yeah, mom.
00:23:16
Speaker
Oh my god. Let's get into a telephone pole one time and just drove away as well. I was like, put the car in reverse. I was like, oh, nobody saw me hit that and then just fucking drove away.
00:23:27
Speaker
It was interesting. I mean It was it was funny because when we took it into the shop They were like wait the airbags didn't go off in this accident. I was like, no No, we cannot believe that and then they were like your car doesn't have airbags in it. Oh my god It's supposed to and I was like that's interesting and they're like has it been in an accident before and I was like Nope, it was brand new like two and a half years ago What the fuck?
00:23:54
Speaker
They were like, Oh, that's weird. But it didn't occur to me until then that I probably got. I don't know. How does that work? Stolen car. Brand new car from a Jeep dealership that didn't actually have airbags in it. That's crazy. You could probably sued Jeep for like a billion dollars. Yeah, right. I didn't think about it. Teen driver didn't get fucking airbags in their car. Holy shit. Yeah. We're just like, All right, more car for me.
00:24:22
Speaker
They were I mean, they weren't. Well, does putting airbags in I think it's like mad dough. Yeah. Do they put airbags in or they're just like, Hey, good luck, man. In retrospect, so in retrospect, I think because it because I was I mean, I didn't, you know, I didn't pay for it. I think we took it to the dealership that I bought it from. They're like, Oh, and so they were like, Oh, yeah, we just like put them in for free. That's cool. Right? And I was like, Yeah, I don't know. I guess.
00:24:48
Speaker
Oh, we forgot those on the desk. They also must have realized that they could have been in trouble to or whatever they they call each was like, Hey, we found a car that we sold somebody two and a half years ago without airbags and Jeep was like, Yeah, well, we've been having that we're gonna keep that under under lock. If he's not making issue out of a vomit. Let's not make an issue out of it. Hey, if you still got a 2000
00:25:15
Speaker
Five Jeep Liberty Sport Limited on the road. Check your airbags. I definitely haven't told it on here. Have I told you guys when we got into this big fight, this big brawl after the club, and then I stole the guy's car and I totaled it, like on purpose. Can we say that again?
00:25:40
Speaker
We were at this club in Providence, and we're like, lived like an hour away from Providence. But we like, whatever, we were alleged drug dealers, and then this other bigger, giant dude, like physically giant dude and a bigger drug dealer was there. And for some reason, he was just a maniac.
00:26:02
Speaker
known to be a maniac. I think he maybe he was on HGH or so he had to be he was a African American gentleman. And for some reason, I had the best night of my life at that club. And we walked out of it. And we were in the parking lot and like,
00:26:20
Speaker
I'm just drifting around and then I see all my boys are about to get into a huge screaming match on the fight and then Providence cops come and they're usually like after the clubs they're on like horses and so they got in the middle with horses and that basically calms all the situation down.
00:26:38
Speaker
And then we drive the hour back. Obviously, you smoke some blunts. And I mean, no one ever remembers like, hey, we just almost got a huge brawl. We're like, everything's all good. That night, I remember distinctively getting back going to 7-Eleven. And being like sweet chicken 10 East 7-Eleven is the best night ever.
00:26:55
Speaker
Uh get back to the trap and uh, dude don't even get to enjoy one chicken tender They hear like a big commotion outside And it's that fucking dude with uh another dude and they're like pulled up to the trap and they're like banging on the door and obviously You know, we're not gonna like close the close the door and shut the lights off We just go around back and uh kind of surprise them on the steps Then there's like three of them and uh
00:27:23
Speaker
two of my boys or two in two and I'm like still around the corner and I come back playing like free safety basically and uh this dude just like completely cold cocks one of my boys and uh he like fucking gets pieced like freezes up knocks out obviously beer bottle smashes in his hand on the ground like completely like CTE shot to the head on the pavement and then uh
00:27:51
Speaker
that guy and the other guy start running down a big hilly road. And we all start chasing them and kind of jumped those two guys. And then they keep like running and running down blocks. And then I was like, you know what I'm gonna do? And I run, this guy pulled up thumping.
00:28:08
Speaker
Left his car as brand-new Camry at the time had to be like a 2014 Camry a 2015 Camry Running outside the trap and I run back up to it and I fucking take that shit I just peel around the fucking corner
00:28:24
Speaker
a few blocks away, park it, throws keys, you know, gone them into wherever over a few apartments into some backyards, like you're never gonna, no one ever would be able to find these again. And then I just proceed to get like the biggest two boulders. And I just start smashing in every single window, every mirror, kicking off the mirrors, throwing them through the windshield, throwing them against the side, like even like the doors, dense, every window is completely totaled, all the denser and scratching everything up.
00:28:54
Speaker
And then I go to proceed where I go through some backyards, back to the trap, get my other boy. And then we proceed to go back to the car again, give it another round. It was, it ended up being what, I don't know, completely total. Didn't have the car keys. You reported it stolen, but then found it the next day. And then from that.
00:29:14
Speaker
Obviously it just turned into like a two year ongoing beef of like I'd be at the gas station or I mean all any of us would be at the gas station or wherever and he'd just pull up and it would just basically be like a cartoon fight of like him being like, well, fuck you guys do to my car.
00:29:34
Speaker
Because now he pull he pull he's pulling up in like a used shitty car because he doesn't have his brand new Camry, you know, and yeah, it turned out to just just feud a huge war all of that. I retold the story to my wife the other day and when I was saying out loud, I was like, damn, that's a pretty fucked up story.
00:29:55
Speaker
But yeah, I think we ended up after like the year three, you ended up giving amends over some other substance to try to break a deal. Yeah. But yeah, I remember one night he caught me at the gas station by myself. I always happened to get in a small town, you know, do everything in gas. You're very vulnerable in a fucking gas station. Yeah, you're like, God damn it. And he pulled up and luckily he we didn't have any problems. But it ended up working out.
00:30:25
Speaker
But yeah, I felt kind of bad. I think I served my time in that war. It started over nothing though. Dude, it was a fucking phone party night at the club. I couldn't think anything could go wrong after that.
00:30:39
Speaker
And then also, yeah, I was like the one, maybe the first time I thought I saw someone die from getting punched or like, you know, completely lights out cold cocked. Yeah. And they're just like, Oh, like, like little ragdoll hit the ground hard. Not even. It's when they're like, uh, it's like an NFL or their arms, their arms freeze up in the position. You know what I mean? They do that like brain damage position. Yeah. Yeah, exactly that. And then the bottle smashes in their hand. You're like, Oh my God, Jesus Christ. Yeah.
00:31:07
Speaker
But then I was like after you see that I saw some dude one time get drop kicked get up guy that got drop kicked ended up getting knocked out like that too was the craziest thing by that same guy that we had beef with to After we made amends started bringing him on street fights. It was pretty fucking sick That guy was a weapon dude once he's on your side. Yeah. Yeah, he was it was pretty fucking nuts He got drop kicked
00:31:34
Speaker
got up from the dropkick, knock that guy out, knock two other guys out, and then we were running.
00:31:39
Speaker
And I took a side street. He got tased in the middle of the road by like three cops. It was insane. Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah. He like skidded on his head like a cartoon character. And he was probably immediately fine. Oh, yeah, dude. Got tased, fucking still fighting. I'm just like on like a back alley, back street, like looking out like, holy shit. He's got like he's got like skull showing on his scalp and he's like, yeah, literally. Yeah. So fucking.
00:32:06
Speaker
And I was like, Holy shit, this guy's on peace mode, bro. I think he just got out from doing like, I think like a nine year straight sentence was pretty fucking insane. He like tied somebody up in their house on like a home invasion and like fucking beat the shit out of him. And then that person like, I think he was probably gonna kill him, got out and luckily got free and called the cops. And I fucking totaled that guy's car.
00:32:37
Speaker
got away scot free at the gas station. But maybe that's maybe this all pens into this me tapping this lady's bumper last this week. That's your fucking cosmic patterns. It's a Yeah, full circle, dude. Like Billy Bob third Thorin. Yeah. Oh, you know, I was gonna watch I've been watching clips because I don't know how scary it is, but no country for the old men.
00:33:07
Speaker
Oh, you got to just watch it, dude. It's a really good movie. No, it's not scary at all. It's all right. It's it's a drama. Yeah, it's a drama. Very good drama. I would say there's a there's a there's a version of a person who might find it scary and like the psychological way. It's not that's not you. It's it's a drama.
Film Recommendations & Content
00:33:25
Speaker
You'd like it. It's a slow burn, but in a good way. Yeah, I watched the the gas station clip was good.
00:33:37
Speaker
Yeah. And then, uh, him asking the hotel lady some stuff too. That was really good. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. I'm going to watch that then. I didn't know if you like killed a dog in it or something. So I didn't want to watch it. Nope. I don't think so. I did see a dead dog on the side of the road though, going to work today. I was pretty fucked up.
00:34:02
Speaker
Saw a dead cat on the side of the highway as soon as I got out of the airport the other day Yeah, dude, and this one's like great. You guys know what town it is and it's just right in the middle of fucking town Yeah, it's in front of the fucking restaurant No one's picked it up in two days There's a dog it's not like oh, yeah. No. Oh, no. It's like a fucking dog, bro. It's a dog Yeah, I know I Know
00:34:31
Speaker
people walk past it, dude. Oh, that sucks. Yeah, it's fuck I mean, it's a straight dog. It's not like someone dog. Obviously, it's just one of the millions of straight dogs around there. But Jesus fucking Christ, even in Romania, they pick them up off the fucking ground. It's one of the hurting packs of chihuahuas. I think it might be a chihuahua cross honestly. I gotta fucking take another route tomorrow. I can't see that shit for a third day in a row.
00:34:58
Speaker
Surprised nothing down there has come out and ate it. Yeah Yeah, the people might eat it. That's what's fucking gonna eat it, dude There's a there's a store in our chain that deals with a Like a homeless shanty town in their parking lot that the city won't clear out And so go get a dollar
00:35:28
Speaker
I mean, basically, like, that's kind of what happens is like, the home, the homeless people in the shantytown get a little too comfortable, like hassling people who are coming into the store. And so we have to have them be like, Hey, guys, like, like, you can't do that. And then when they do that to the homeless people were like, Hey, like,
00:35:48
Speaker
I get that this, like, drainage ditch on the side of the parking lot is your home, so, like, whatever, but you can't hassle, like, our customers as they're coming in. They will smear shit all over the windows. No! So, like, you know, a couple times a month, we get the email about, you know, we need somebody to come out and clean all the shit off the front of the store. No! But that's a crazy thing. I mean, you know, I know that...
00:36:18
Speaker
People don't choose to not have a home, but also it's crazy to me that the city is just like, yeah, I don't know. They just live in a drainage ditch. Yeah, you don't gotta be fucking dicks about it.
00:36:28
Speaker
Well, that part too, for sure. But I also like, I guess if you live in a tent in a drainage ditch in Florida, like I can't also fall for like not being polite, life hasn't been kind to you. But when the cops are like, when we're like, Hey, there's smearing shit on our store. Like you need to do something and they're like, we can't do it. Saturday. Jesus Christ.
00:36:50
Speaker
Saturday, man. Are you serious to Saturday? Dude, are you kidding me? We don't cop on Saturdays. I'm not going to say it to be a dick, but I think they might have profiled that lady's voice by saying, by giving her. Oh, I was dancing around that for sure. That's what. Because if it was an American person calling, that'd be like, yeah, we'll be right there. Lady, it's a fucking Saturday. She won't understand this excuse.
00:37:17
Speaker
Yeah. If it was a proper white dude and he was like, I don't know, it's Puerto Rican. Oh my God. Yeah. They would be there in no time. And I'm not even exaggerating that they were literally in the pulled into the, it's not like they were just sitting there like I were at lunch. They pulled into the Wawa parking lot and got out and we're hanging out. And it was a lane away.
00:37:44
Speaker
They scoped it out and they were like, that's not real. We don't so much. That's so much paperwork. Yeah, we're gonna give this guy a break. This lady's fucking hassle on them. What do you got, Paul? Nothing. I like my new boots. Oh, yeah. How they feel. What brand are they?
00:38:13
Speaker
The Red Wings. Oh, they're not Red Wings? No. Damn. I want to get a pair of Red Wings, but I can't really get those going into the winter here. Probably got to wait till the spring. Just get a pair of Air Ones, dude. Air Force Ones. Red Wings are like prohibitively expensive enough that you can definitely get them. There's a Red Wings store in... No, I know. I know there's one right by me. I guess what I'm saying is I'm bad at like...
00:38:44
Speaker
I going into the winner, I will get those boots. I will want to wear them on some like slushy shitty winter day and I'll fuck them up. So I don't know. They'll be fine, dude. They're boots. They're new boots, dude. Boots. Paul, you want the ones with mock toes or you want like the iron Rangers? I really like mock toe boots, but for a red wing, I'd probably get like black iron Rangers. Yeah.
00:39:08
Speaker
I have a, I have a black pair of the blacksmiths. So they, they're like to have the heel, but they don't have the toe cap. Okay. Black iron Rangers. And then I've got the mock toes. I really liked the mock toes. It's a really long time to break in dude. 360 bucks. That's bad ass. Um,
00:39:27
Speaker
I've just always wanted a pair of iron rangers specifically. I do in general prefer mock toe boots, but like there's something about that, that cap toe iron ranger. It's just kind of like, it's a nice looking boot. There's a nice looking boot. Oh, okay. Mock toes. Those look, those are like what all the Irish carpenters wear. Yup.
00:39:55
Speaker
I got a pair of Carhartt, I guess. I don't know what kind of boots they are. They're just nice boots. These are these are superior boots though, the red wings. I've got a pair of wolverines that are kind of just knock off fire rangers. Have I told you guys a mile boot or whatever they're called? Yeah. Have I told you guys I'm fully autistic now and I just wear the same eight black Carhartt shirts that I have.
00:40:25
Speaker
Bro, it's so much nicer. I told her I was like, I was like, for the next for the next six months, I'm wearing joggers, a t shirt and a black hoodie every day. Yeah. This makes your life so easy. Yeah. Add a nice pocket. Yeah, the same thing. Hard to beat.
00:40:57
Speaker
hard to beat. Paul, you got to just show up one day in a fresh pair of Air Ones and just work normally. Just beat the shit out of them by the end of the day. But still just like tuck your jeans into the like tongue of them. Get a pair of the high tops of the strap.
00:41:23
Speaker
Dude, you have to just show up fresh pair air ones ready to landscape, dude. You got that, doggy. It would probably cause a riot there. Oh, yeah? You'd be like, what the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with this guy? Let's see. That's $130 bit.
00:41:50
Speaker
got that dude. Yes, nothing. Zip recruiters fucking bound to find us. Although I'm getting Netflix first. Yeah, get Netflix first doggy. And we've been watching
00:42:05
Speaker
British Bake Off on my wife's phone because that's the only thing that we can get to connect. And when we try to stream it to the TV, it's like, this isn't your account. Oh my God. That shit. How does it know? Like, I get there's a lot of things I get, but when you're like, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not asking you to log into the account on the TV. I'm asking you to stream what's on my phone to the TV and it knows that you're like, no, no, no, no, we're not cool with that.
00:42:33
Speaker
I don't even understand how that happens. I mean, it's annoying because sometimes you're like, I'm not trying to like pirate like I have a Netflix account. It is on my phone. I am at a place with a TV and I just want I'm like not trying to give the person with the TV access to my Netflix. I'm just trying to stream this show on a TV and it's like, nope, can't do that. You got to log in.
00:42:56
Speaker
Like that's not what I want to do though. Then that person, then I'm logged into Netflix on this person's TV to actually make it worse. What do you do with Netflix? You're on notice. What's the, um, what's this bit thing that I see now where people are like, Oh, I can't eat without YouTube. What the fuck does that even mean? Oh, I haven't heard this shit. That sounds like some fucking Gen Z bullshit. It's like,
Loneliness & Nostalgia
00:43:18
Speaker
bro, what do you mean YouTube? Are you just like eating fucking and watching TV?
00:43:23
Speaker
like people who are like who have to like people who have to play like oh it's probably like chronically lonely people who need like ah okay you need like youtube on in the background when they're like doing like around in their house because they just can't stand the like silence visit that shit maybe it has to be they're just watching someone walk down the street and fucking or yeah i do hear people like i forgot some friends who have talked about who are like yeah i have to have like
00:43:53
Speaker
the office or like 30 rock or something on in the background to fall asleep and I'll just Yeah, that's normal. Just have a show that they've, you know, put on Netflix to fall asleep to Hey, don't talk don't bring that up around Paul, dude. No, it's just fucking rude. Where the fuck do you get off, dude?
00:44:12
Speaker
Hey, we offered to set up a GoFundMe. Yeah, we could honestly set up a GoFundMe and just give it some ridiculous amount of money and I bet it will feel like halfway. Help our friend get Netflix. $80,000. Oh, man.
00:44:38
Speaker
I'll get it eventually. That's how we want to sign up, dude. Get a free tryout. I'll wait until Black Friday, and then there'll be a Black Friday deal. I don't think so. I think it might just get more expensive on Black Friday. Yeah. This will do a Black Friday deal where you can get like a year for half price. And then I would delete my account, and Shannon would get her account. And then we just did that for like three or four years in a row. I love that.
00:45:09
Speaker
And then finally, like, they either they either like figured out that you needed to track who was just a returning customer or something, because I think after the fourth year, it stopped working. And then we got rid of Hulu. Fine, there's very other than the bear, there's very little on Hulu. And I'm like, that's a must watch. Yeah, I know content. I was there.
00:45:37
Speaker
Predator movie that they put on there was pretty good. There was Dave, but this last season to Dave, I hated. Oh, that's true. I think is there another one that I don't know. I don't know if I'm ever going to watch it again. I miss watching trailer boys. I like that show trailer park boys. That's true. What's that show about?
00:46:04
Speaker
Canadians extremely hard is extremely hard premise to Is that like Louie my brother when I think it must have been like 2005 or six because I was in middle school and my brother came home from college and he had the first three or four seasons of trailer Park boys on his computer and
00:46:32
Speaker
And I watched them all and I was like, wow, I'm like 14 years old. This is the best TV show ever created. I think I hit the sweet spot. Perfect age to be introduced to it. Yeah, I think I watched it too late because I was like, the quality of this fucking show was like the way it shot. I was like, this is fucking my head up. Yeah, that kind of like mockumentary format got stretched a little too far in a lot of places.
00:47:03
Speaker
guy's grown weed in his car. I liked when he would just come show up with like a whole plant. Yeah, break chunks off the plan, smoke it. I've stolen plants like that and had to walk them through the blocks at late at night before with just a trash bag over like a six foot tall plant. How funny is that? What's under that? Shut the fuck up, dude.
00:47:31
Speaker
No plan of what would happen if you get caught, you just don't get caught, dude. Yeah, I think you knew that's literally getting caught red handed. So I have three dudes each carrying a giant plant taking multiple trips, probably eight blocks over. Yeah, you just swing it at somebody's head and you run. You just drop it and start sprinting. I think was the plan. These fuckers just stole a bunch of weed plants. It's not like you could charges for breaking and entering with that. Yeah, it's true.
00:48:03
Speaker
You guys like mahajan? What the fuck is that? Is that the game? You pick up stuff and throw it in? No. Just match tiles. So is that the only... So I've played online mahajan probably in the early days of the internet when there just was less to do.
00:48:28
Speaker
And I think I thought that that it was just like, Oh yeah, you just match tiles and they go away and then you match more tiles. Is there like more rules to it than that? Or is it matched? The tile has to be open. I think at least on one side. Yeah. It's also like a pyramid, but that's all I think you can bet though. There's some way you can bet because you see old people playing at betting.
00:48:50
Speaker
You gotta have a gam I mean You gotta have a gambling element to it for for the Asian audience. Is that on addictinggames.com? It was on yeah fucking goat Gotta bring that back. That's a good tagline that just remembered addictinggames.com Yeah Yo, what's that game? It was called like not called snooker Maybe it was something else but I had the faces and then there was like a thing at the bottom and you're like shoot the faces nude Yeah, hell. Yeah nude
00:49:20
Speaker
Go game right there. Snood, yeah. It's a good game. Oh, I don't know if Snood was OG. Damn. I don't know if Snood ripped off Busta Move or Busta Move ripped off Snood, but I think it was probably Snood first, because I remember that one when I was like... It's crazy how boring the fucking internet was back then.
00:49:50
Speaker
Addictinggames.com. But like, I remember snood in like 1997. Stoods old, he can remember 1997. God damn, I was fucking mad long ago, dude. So dude, I remember snood when you got it on like a CD or no on like a floppy disk. Oh, Jesus Christ. Look at this guy. Just
00:50:20
Speaker
putting sand in his computer to play video games. Yeah. Yeah. All of a sudden he's going to be like, remember the eight inch floppy disk. Remember when you guys had to remember a suit and tie to work every day. Bro, I remember, I remember that ran those laser disk.
00:50:44
Speaker
Yeah. So my dad had an apartment building that his dad gave him as a wedding present. It's a dank wedding present. Yeah, that's awesome. And so occasionally, and so if he had a tenant that basically just skipped town or didn't pay rent and he would just
00:51:07
Speaker
Basically like I don't know how that works if it was legal or not, but he would just take everything from their apartment Well in 1994 that was fine Yeah, exactly and so occasionally we would just get like these really good come-up gifts because like a tenant didn't pay their rent or like Disappeared or whatever and he would come home with with just something crazy. I
00:51:29
Speaker
you know, one of those things was like, very early, like a very early, like Macintosh computer, like we were very early. Damn, was it one of the green ones? Having no before those before the dude, you're old as hell. Walk right into that one. It is true. Yeah, dude, we had I don't know, maybe like the second like I had a computer and
00:52:00
Speaker
We had like a home computer in 1992. God damn, dude. Bill Gates himself came in and installed that shit. Right? Injected you guys all with vaccines. But like, there was no, like, I mean, there wasn't really internet. A double, a double win. The computer guys. You'll thank me in the future for this.
00:52:24
Speaker
We just used to choose your own adventure games on HyperCard, which was an early version of PowerPoint. Jesus Christ. I don't know what computers were for back then, because we had one and they existed, which means they were for like...
00:52:41
Speaker
Yeah, they were for people. What did people use them for who needed them? We just had one because my dad took it from someone's apartment. He didn't use it. We used the PowerPoint presentation software to choose your own adventure games. And we would just go into the paint and draw pictures. But that's not what it was made for. So I always was like, what do people who need this use it for, just doing math?
00:53:11
Speaker
Well, the fucking Somalian guy that you guys took it from, I kind of fucking never find out. No, he's not. You took my computer! Oh, man. I was one day late. You took my computer. That is kind of fucked up that you guys just got sweet gifts.
00:53:32
Speaker
What the fuck? Your dad's like, yeah, this guy just stopped paying me. He's like, no, I took it. Yeah, it's mine now. When I moved out to go for college, he just like helped me furnish my apartment. And it was like, but it was all it was all clearly secondhand stuff. It was like a weird old like microwave and like a weird like not not mismatched furniture set. And I was like, oh, this is all the stuff that was like taken from apartments.
00:53:57
Speaker
Well, I'm one of those fucking, uh, some other old computer probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so fucking funny. The weird building too. They weren't really like, it was definitely like a,
00:54:25
Speaker
I guess I don't know if he was just a bad landlord or if he just kind of catered to the type of people who, but it was not like a, you know, like furnished apartments meant for human to live in. It was like more of like a warehouse with rooms. Like it used to be a mill or like a paper mill. And then it was just like, yeah, you can live here. And it was like a lot of people who seemed like squatters or like stuff like that. My parents rented out, uh,
00:54:54
Speaker
I mean, I guess it wasn't like a just the bottom basement half of my apartment to some dudes. They left Matt Jordans and Timberlands one time. I was like, yeah, sick. It's like eight years old come up right there, dude. Yeah. Jordan, some sick ass Jordans. I mean, you could you could take a wild guess at what they were about. Yeah. Yeah. I think I know.
00:55:27
Speaker
I always wanted to live in an apartment when I watched that TV show. Hey Arnold, there's like a tenement house or just mad people. Yeah. Yeah. He did. Like they had like a shared TV show. Did a really good job of making looking poor be really fun. Yeah. Do you guys know the fact that he had a baller ass room, the baller room, Frasier's coming back. I heard it was terrible. Oh, come on, dude. Give it a chance.
00:55:58
Speaker
First of all, fuck Frasier, bro. That show sucks. Never watch any Frasier. Is it good? Yeah, it's so good. That event or do you actually like might be the best show of all time. Feel like terrible TV. Paul loves it. Netflix original. Just Kelsey grammar supposed to be funny.
00:56:25
Speaker
Dude, he's fucking recorded every Frasier when he was like blacked out. I guess he's the best actor of all time. I mean, I believe that. But is it supposed to be a comedy? Definitely supposed to be a comedy. He's like a sassy Seattle guy.
00:56:43
Speaker
Yeah, so I guess I think everything I know about Frasier is from like SNL skits and like cutaways on Family Guy and like bits on like 30 Rock that make fun of Frasier so my only lens for it is like people making fun of it being like a show that's like a show that's attempting to be like pseudo intelligent and funny but like
00:57:08
Speaker
That like the average person would be like that's pretentious. That's a pretentious show So I guess that's my opinion without ever having seen an episode What's um, what's the roommate update lately? What's he been doing? I Don't know nothing Okay, since the last time we talked and that well, I've also been like I
00:57:35
Speaker
I came so I'm currently at a Airbnb in central Massachusetts. Central Massachusetts? Where the fuck is that in here? I mean, I'm in Ringe, New Hampshire. Okay. Um, where do people fly in the go to that Logan? I mean, you could fly into Worcester. If you can get a flight into Worcester. No flights go into there. Um,
00:58:05
Speaker
some do they have to sometimes but now if you were if you were in rind and needed to fly somewhere you'd probably go to like a real place you'd probably go to logan i would think maybe again if you're like if you can get a flight out of manchester regional airport that's closer you could get a flight out of
00:58:33
Speaker
Worcester Regional, that would be closer, but.
00:58:37
Speaker
You're probably Logan if you need real real. Um, but no, so I've been, I've been here in range for all week. And then before that I was up in Salem, New Hampshire all weekend. So what did we record Thursday last week or Wednesday? I basically haven't been home like maybe one or two days since the last time we talked. So he's probably just been, I don't know, taking apart appliances again, because he's bored. Oh Jesus Christ.
00:59:08
Speaker
You are the best roommate dude, you're just never there. It's true. I would have loved having a roommate like that. I talked to him the last time that stretched when I got COVID, but when I was in Miami to Raleigh to Miami to West Palm to Key West back to Boston.
00:59:31
Speaker
I was basically gone for like three consecutive weeks. And I was like, hey man, it occurs to me that if I were to have like died or gone missing, that you wouldn't know. And he was like, yeah, we should come up with a system. Like if your door is like slightly ajar, then I know you're, he was like, yeah, I usually just judge if your door is completely closed, then I assume that you're not here. And if your door is open, then you're probably here.
01:00:01
Speaker
I should I should come up with a system like flag or something like away, but I'm not dead. That's good to know. But maybe not. He knows that if there's a sock on your door, you're still alive. Yeah, I mean, basically that. Yeah. Your door handle was warmer than it was yesterday. So I knew you were here. Oh, no, that's a lie. Because I got um,
01:00:31
Speaker
So we're on location for this photo shoot. And so we needed all these props, like set decorating shit for the scenes. And so I had them all just order the shit to my apartment so I could drive it there to the location. And so not really thinking about what that meant, and I also
01:00:57
Speaker
I don't know, it's hard to judge how many packages something when you see a list of like 15 things. So anyway, probably 15 packages. Yeah, so it was more than I mean, it was a, it was a few different orders, but I would say bye.
01:01:13
Speaker
Sunday there was like 30 packages at my in my apartment building to the point where I was in Salem at that haunted house or no that was Friday so Friday uh it must have been Saturday the different thing Saturday in Salem and uh my apartment called me and was like hey you've got a lot of packages here and I was like yeah I know I'm I you know sorry I went a little crazy for Prime Day
01:01:40
Speaker
And they were like, no, man, you got like a lot of packages. Like you need to come get them. They're like filling the office. I was like, uh, all right. I'm kind of like, I can't be there till tomorrow. And they're like, is your roommate home?
01:01:55
Speaker
And I was like, uh, I get a check. And so I called him and I was like, Hey man, I need a favor. The office is like getting on my case about all the packages. Can you go grab them? And I didn't tell him. I was like, I was like, I ordered a lot, but it's like, didn't tell him what a lot meant. And then he actually went and got them all and it was like 30 boxes. It felt bad. Whoa, what the hell? He was like, you did order a lot. Yeah.
01:02:23
Speaker
He was good. Did he open any of them? He probably did, but who knows? He probably opened them all, smelled everything, and then resealed them gently. Yeah. Opened it, farted in the box, and closed the pad cut. Classic. Classic move. He would never.
01:02:44
Speaker
He's gonna get back. He's gonna be like, Hey, man, how was that box that had the light bulb in it? Yeah, he's too sanitary, dude. He I buy sponges to like do the dishes or like, you know, put dude wants to like wash the lake stuck on food before you put it in the dishwasher and he throws the sponges away because he thinks they're dirty. He's like, you can only use a sponge once and then it's dirty forever. Holy shit. That's awesome.
01:03:14
Speaker
Like, all right, dude, you don't have to use it. But stop throwing my fucking scrub daddy's away. Oh, damn, they're nice. Just scrub. That's that's brutal. Yeah, one time I was just off with it.
01:03:32
Speaker
Well, so he definitely that is kind of funny because he'll put everything through the dishwasher Like he'll put like he won't use the pan to cook dinner and then he'll put the pan in the dishwasher everything Like wooden utensils, which I'm like very you should never put wood in the dishwasher Pans in the dishwasher be putting pans in the dishwasher and I told him that stuff So I'll hand wash like things with wooden handles wooden utensils all the pans and I'll put them in the drying rack And he will not use anything out of the drying rack
01:04:01
Speaker
why he puts pans in the dishwasher yeah because he doesn't think he doesn't think it's possible to get something clean with just dish soap and a sponge or a brush he's like it has to go through the dishwasher it's not clean the dishwasher has to be sanitized because it's clean
01:04:18
Speaker
Well, because the dishwasher has that sanitized button. So it adds like an hour to the cycle, but he'll run out on the sanitized setting. So he's comfortable. But if I use all his pans and hand wash them and put them in the drying rack, he won't use them until they've gone through the dishwasher. Jesus Christ, dude.
01:04:36
Speaker
dude needs an evaluation in life. Yeah, it's like fucking key kills people outside of your apartment. We, what was it like a month ago, I just had to wash like two things. So like I came out of my room too, because I just like had to wash like an outfit that I was wearing to like a wedding or something. And he like came out of the room kind of at the same time, like clearly about to do a load of laundry. And I was like, Oh, hey, that's cool, dude. Like I just have to wash like a shirt and a pair of pants, you can throw your stuff in with mine. And he was like, No, I'll just wait.
01:05:06
Speaker
I was like, No, man, it's I mean, I felt bad about like wasting all the water just to wash two things, but I just have to. So like, don't worry about you can throw your stuff. And he's like, I just feel weird about like mixing clothes. Like, that just like freaks me out. And again, I was like, All right, dude, that makes you feel comfortable. That's very particular. Yeah, I don't get it. Didn't want his underwear to touch your socks. Yeah, I mean, I was kind of
01:05:35
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. I guess it was more me. It was like, your clothes will make my clothes dirty in some way. Like, I don't know. It's like, it's literally being washed. It's coming out as clean as it possibly can be. But yeah, it's a psychological thing, I guess. What water level did you wash it on? Just my two things. Mm-hmm. I just did the, like, small. You did the full tank, the extra large. Small setting. Yeah, exactly. Small, quick rinse, or whatever.
01:06:08
Speaker
But yeah. Man, I don't think about like, never used a sterilizer other than in college. I think that's crazy that people don't think that you can get something cleaned by fucking soaping it off. What does he do to his hands? Um, I don't know. Washes him with soap and water. I don't really care about that shit. Then does he put them underneath like a UV light or else his hands aren't clean?
01:06:35
Speaker
Dude, he might. He wears a weird light mask to go to bed. Yeah, I forgot about that. Like when I learned, oh, and he uses bird noises as an alarm clock because he says he's immune to the sound of an alarm. I don't know. Probably has like a bucket of bleach that he dips his hands into. He's just bleaching his entire room.
01:07:01
Speaker
Never cleaned. Never clean. That's like the people that, um, would get groceries. First of all, people who would get, who were too scared to go to the grocery store, but would get delivery. That's ridiculous because you're trusting somebody else to check your groceries, but then they would like soap them down with Lysol before they brought the groceries into the house. That's fucking even crazier. Everything just tastes like bleach.
01:07:30
Speaker
And when I lived in the I lived in that apartment complex, and you would like to be driving back and be like, it was the end of the world to be out people outside with their bags spraying lice all over everything and then handing it to somebody inside. Jesus Christ. Like what the fuck is going on right now? Paul, what's the weirdest thing you saw in Florida your time down here? Probably the dude with the loaded gun at the airport. Oh,
01:07:58
Speaker
So it was not cool that he had that? It was not cool that he had it. Oh my god. Bro, I saw a news article about somebody doing that in Virginia and they got a $15,000 fine for it. Bro, that's excessive. Well, I don't know. You can't really just like bring a gun to the airport. Yeah, without like- I mean, I guess my intuition, yeah. My intuition is, well, I don't know. People are extremely dumb.
01:08:26
Speaker
fucking guy brought a loaded gun to the airport. That's like extremely dumb. That's extremely dumb. But so I put it in his fucking bag and then put the bag through the scanner. So that so that is enough. So so two scenarios for somebody to be that dumb. They're that dumb. And they don't understand the difference. So like Florida just passed this thing where you don't have to have a concealed carry permit, you can just concealed carry. Like if you own a gun, you can concealed carry without a permit.
01:08:54
Speaker
That's somebody who's too dumb to know that the airport or it's somebody who's like, you know, like a libertarian and thinks that the federal government doesn't have the right and like wants to make an issue out of it. Like they're, they know they're going to get caught, but they're doing it too. I think the guy was as dumb as fuck, dude. He used to extremely dumb looking. When I saw him, he had like a,
01:09:23
Speaker
like maybe a two all the way around, except for the very, very bottom, like half of his head for his mullet, but his ball, it was like Jerry curled and he had a goatee and the TSA agent was like, yeah. So, uh, so like I go through the pre-check Shannon took a few extra minutes. I'm sitting there watching it happen. Like as it's going down and.
01:09:51
Speaker
The cop, the TSA agents like, I gotta like swab your hands, do all this extra shit, like check your socks and everything. And then he's like, yeah, do you have anything else in the bag that can hurt me? The guy's like, no, just the gun. Like what the, like the dude, what the fuck? The cops sitting there, like got the gun out, taking pictures of it, unloading it. It's loaded. Oh yeah, it was loaded. Bullets are in the gun.
01:10:21
Speaker
bullets were in the magazine and the cop was sitting there unloading it, but like they were doing a good job and I'm panicking. I don't think anybody else really noticed that it was going down. Jesus Christ. I mean, it probably, I mean, I'm sure it's not a daily occurrence, but I bet it's like a couple of times a month occurrence for like a Florida airport. Oh yeah. It's definitely like maybe that guy was like confused. Like I was sort of, uh,
01:10:47
Speaker
It was probably over a year ago, but the one time that I went to Tampa out of Providence because you convinced me. I accidentally had a knife on me. And like I was like shitting my pants when I realized I had like the reason the alarm was going off was because I had a knife thinking they would take it. They would be like, it would be an issue. And the guy was just like, this is a cool knife. And I was like, I was like, yeah, I'm really sorry. I didn't realize I had it on me. And he was like, oh, dude, it happens all the time.
01:11:16
Speaker
He's like, I honestly feel bad that I, you can't take this because it's a nice knife. And I was like, it's all right. It was like the most, it was like the most casual. He was like, yeah, sorry, man, this is cool. Can I have it? And I was like, I didn't say that. But I could tell that he wanted it. He was going to take it if he was allowed to. Oh, definitely dude. He's taken that shit. Um,
01:11:39
Speaker
But yeah, so I also imagine for somebody, like I just, you know, carry this pocket knife around and just forgot that it was in my pocket. So I imagine for like, we're taking it for granted. Cause like, I don't carry a gun around all the time. But if you're like a concealed carry person, you probably just like also doesn't think about like, Oh yeah, there was a gun in there. That guy was just dumb as fuck, bro. There's a loaded gun in his bag. There's no, there's no like, yeah, he was just snoozing on the job and fucking tossed the loaded Glock into the bag. Hmm.
01:12:08
Speaker
guess. Pack some dumb shit before Jack Jones on the Patriots tossed two loaded Glocks and got caught at Logan in the summertime. Only on one of them dismissed charges dismissed. Because I it's a good point. He was like, I don't know who packed that bag and they couldn't prove that he knew that he packed that bag.
01:12:32
Speaker
Fucking lawyers and geniuses, dude. Yes, that's a wild argument. I guess if you're like, if you're like, rich or famous enough, you can kind of be like, yeah, I don't pack my bags. What are you talking about? Anybody could. I guess not. I didn't pack that bag. Prove that I packed that bag. But how does that even work? Because that's like being in your car and being like, I don't know who put that fucking
01:12:53
Speaker
bag of weed under my seat. I mean, you can definitely do that. Well, your car is like, like, there's a possession thing where it's like, it doesn't matter if like, if you had a passenger in your car, and they ditch drugs in your car, it's in your car, it's your, it's, you know, your possession of it. But
01:13:09
Speaker
I don't know. I think if you were cops, you know, the defense doesn't work. I think if you were an Uber driver, you probably could get away with that. You'd be like, I'm an Uber driver. Like people like somebody stashed like a gun under the seat. That wasn't mine. I mean, what am I supposed to do? I think you probably could get away with that shit.
Challenges of Work Life
01:13:26
Speaker
Yeah. Well, whenever we moved a ton of weights, we would. Well, it was good because we had a cab company under our wraps, but we would just take a cab. And then if you ever got pulled as big, I don't know whose fucking bag this is.
01:13:37
Speaker
So what in here? Well, we got here. Yeah, legit. And it's like, I don't fucking know. Not with. Well, I guess I we have a. No longer coworker, but a former coworker who did get a rental car from Enterprise that had a. Oh, yeah. I remember that. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. That's all. I've definitely been in an Uber where I should have cut the Uber also in Florida. Good. I never would have declared that shit.
01:14:07
Speaker
loaded it up and got into the airport with it. No, my God. Get on I have gone into into an Uber before that like had someone's backpack in it. And I was like, Hey, did you know this was here? They're like, Oh, shit. Like it's it's also like an extremely plausible scenario. Yeah, there's a gun in my rental car. Okay, what do you want us to do? I feel like being Uber drivers got to be probably one of the worst jobs. Yeah, definitely. I'd rather be a Starbucks barista.
01:14:37
Speaker
oh my god that's horrific too after work today I went to Starbucks and for some reason they must be getting jacked because now they're putting them all behind the counter I'm like what the fuck are you guys there's no pickup count you guys keep them all behind the counter now everybody does it everybody does that
01:14:56
Speaker
just steals a drink. Oh, because we brought that up. Yeah. No one had thought about it before. And we were like, Oh, you didn't know you could just grab from there. Now it's an extra step. Now it's like, why am I even coming in here now? Yeah, world be crazy. That's fucking wack dude, to put so much extra work on that fucking barista.
01:15:22
Speaker
Yeah, dude, they got a hard enough. I have too short of a few not I don't have a short fuse, but I reach a moment where I reach a moment in my like frustration where I will just be like, all right, like I will end every I will end my career. I will end my friendships, my familial relationships. I'm so annoyed right now. We're like, I see these like you're in there sometimes and you just see some fucking bitch who's like, um, this was supposed to have
01:15:53
Speaker
extra foam and that I would I would I would throw a scalding hot coffee in someone's face and go to jail. Yeah, you probably would just get off the hook. Yeah, maybe just wearing up one of those hats that doesn't have a brim on it being a Starbucks barista. I mean, I hope that you know, I hope that the court's lenient when you're like, yo, she made me remake this drink three times and it still wasn't. It still wasn't right. You know what she deserved deal.
01:16:23
Speaker
Yeah, I've never, we actually sentenced her to jail. I've never, I've never personally been somewhere where I've been like, this is bad. Make it again. No, I get kind of fat. Like I couldn't even fathom doing that. So when I was thinking to myself that working as a Starbucks barista probably wouldn't be that bad.
01:16:44
Speaker
I never even considered the fact that there's people who are like, this is bad, make it again. And then they ask you to do it multiple times. That is the thing I wouldn't be able. So so I'm like, right. I worked retail and we the job we had, like I can I can do just like stress, like we're crashing. This is a stressful day, like order after order after order, like no breaks, sweating like I can do that.
01:17:07
Speaker
And I actually kind of like that work environment. But if you if I'm like being good and reasonable and you're just a miserable person who can't be pleased. That is the shit that I lose it on when I'm just like.
01:17:21
Speaker
or people who know, who are obviously kind of thinking they're gaming the system. Like they saw a TikTok, like a TikTok hack once that was like, you can get all your drinks from Starbucks for free with this crazy hack. And the crazy hack is just lie and complain. Like, you know, like...
01:17:42
Speaker
They order something and then you make it. And then they're like, this is wrong. And it really isn't wrong. And you're like, well, from a customer service perspective, I'm not allowed to get in an argument with you. So I'm going to remake it and you're going to get a free drink. But I know what you're doing right now. Like that shit, that is when I would fucking chuck a scalding hot coffee at your face. Yeah, that's deserved. It is deserved. Um.
01:18:10
Speaker
Yeah, dude. That's the scenario. So what do you got on the docket tomorrow, Jared? Tomorrow's day three. We got another full day of scenes to shoot. And then. Aren't you tired? I'm fucking exhausted. What time does everybody have to wake up by? You have to go. Everybody has to be up by 8 30 tomorrow.
01:18:38
Speaker
Dude, I was I was cooking fake breakfast by before eight thirty this morning. I was up at six thirty. Did everybody eat it? No, because it was for the scene. I ate the pancakes. No one had like you guys didn't make enough to eat. Um. Oh, that's even fucking crazy. You woke up and you made breakfast, but you didn't make enough for people to eat it. Yeah. Just look at it. Look here, dude. There was no time. There was no time to eat. I would have happily eaten. There's no time. It's you start to always schedule breakfast, dude.
01:19:08
Speaker
It starts on whenever the fuck you want to start, right? Yeah, guys. I don't know if you know how the photo shoots work. You're just fucking running around nonstop. I started my day cooking, making pancakes, baking and eggs. Then at like 8.15, then models started arriving and like get out of here and make up and shit. They're coming into my apartment or where I'm staying to start shooting.
01:19:33
Speaker
immediately. And then we're like into shooting mode. And that never stopped until 7pm. So there was other than like, we deliberately had a 1245 lunch break. That was it. But there was no time to be like, yeah, I'm just gonna like, scarf down some scrambled eggs real quick. Absolutely no time for that. There's time for that. You got to eat, dude. There's always time for that. Oh, just saying. Aren't you guys staying there? Aren't you sleeping there?
01:20:00
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I'm in my guest house right now. And there and there wasn't time to wake up and make an extra two eggs. Make a couple eggs. I mean, that wasn't a problem. We had like like the that plate of scrambled eggs that I took a picture of is in the refrigerator right now. No one's no one had time to eat. Like no one ate them. There was no time to eat them. Were they able to make two additional eggs that you could eat?
01:20:29
Speaker
Would you say that those eggs are overdone a little bit? No, fuck no. Okay. Bro, those were like the custardy dog snot filling of a French omelet, soft scrambled eggs.
01:20:52
Speaker
See that pizza I made? Yeah, the photographer said those are some damn fine eggs. Yeah, but maybe the photographer needs to take a better picture of him next time. Mm-hmm. He's making him look overdone. You didn't even take pictures of him. What are you talking about? We saw a picture when they saw a picture of him. That was a picture I took on my phone, and they are absolutely not overdone. I mean, look at it again. It looks like there's a little char on the end of them. No. False.
01:21:27
Speaker
So yeah, dude, you got to eat that you got to just make more that is crazy Dude, you can't you can't just stay in there and look at that stuff That's what happened. No All for the art man, it's all for the shot for the shot do it for the shot Don't get that I Don't either you gotta eat something dude
01:21:55
Speaker
Got to fuel the tank. Yeah, you got to. Yeah, I didn't see the fuel in that. I just have four black coffees and a donut. No, I told you I ate. I ate that whole snack. Well, I almost had a whole stack of pancakes. You just feel like shit after that, though. Jared had a trunk, a cold brew, and fucking a cigarette and half a pancake. I was like, all right. Bro, I'm two weeks off the Siggy's. Can I make extra for anybody? What is the snack situation in the house?
01:22:25
Speaker
Snack's pretty good. We had three different kinds of donuts, fruit plate, vegetable plate, Cheez-Its, fucking double-spelt Oreos. That's like who you get the most. What did you get the models for lunch? Cheez-Its. They got pasta salad, a bunch of different sandwiches. It was just like basic craft services stuff. A bunch of different sandwiches, like chicken salad sandwich, pastrami sandwich, veggie sandwich. What did you guys have for dinner?
01:22:56
Speaker
We got some place, some like some cigarettes and black coffee. Yeah, yeah. Some Uber eats shit. It was like grill 21 or something. It was like a I don't know. How was it? It was like a, you know, it was like a place that just makes a bunch of different shit. Like you can get a steak, you can get like a chicken sandwich, you can get a teriyaki salmon. I don't know one of those fucking places.
01:23:22
Speaker
So you're waking up a little bit earlier tomorrow so you can have breakfast. Um, I'm going to have the griddle. So maybe I will just to, just to do it, but yeah, we're hoping a dude, I don't really eat breakfast. Like on a weekday, who eats breakfast every breakfast, every day, dude. Good for you. Every fucking day, dude. Got to fuel the tank. Yeah. You got to put fuel in that tank.
01:23:51
Speaker
So tomorrow, yeah, you got to get, get some full breakfast in before the models show up. Yeah, maybe. I had a bagel today with butter on it. Wow. Real butter. Mm-hmm. Every time. Well done. Use a fake butter. Yeah. Use margarine. Use psycho. Use margarine. Country crock. What the fuck? I remember when that was a thing. I remember when it was like very common for people not to consume butter. And then they were like, huh, we were joking.
01:24:21
Speaker
The guy actually margarine's terrible for you. Actually that thing that we said that was healthy was way worse for you. Oh, our bad. We told you it was okay to eat a bunch of oil. Did you know you should do oil that stays that stays solid at a brominated oil, hydrogenated oil, whatever it is. After you hop off the pod, you should order everybody late night Taco Bell. And then if they're sleeping, just go up to him and go, Hey, get your Taco Bell.
01:25:04
Speaker
You got to do that, dude. I don't even think people do that bum. I think I'm like, fuck yeah.
Food Adventures & Casual Humor
01:25:12
Speaker
I've been smoking weed all day. Like, fuck yeah. Yeah, yeah, dude.
01:25:21
Speaker
Oh, it's closed. The nearest open Taco Bell is. Yeah, I mean, you're up in the middle of nowhere.
01:25:32
Speaker
You just gotta go with what's around now, whatever is around. There's a KFC really close. There's a KFC like four minutes away. Oh, God. That'd be insane. That sometimes, if you woken up for KFC, it might punch you in the head. I got you a famous ball. There's no corn in it. I know you don't like corn. Got it. I got a fucking extra crispy thighs. Dude, order that up, dude.
01:26:00
Speaker
Just order two buckets of fried chicken. No, just two buckets of fried chicken. Family meal. Can I just get four pints of mashed potatoes? The mashed potatoes and gravy from that was very good. What's uh, what are you getting for lunch for the folks tomorrow? Pizzas. Oh, okay. Everyone's getting a pizza. One small pizza per person. Oh, got to get at least largest. No.
01:26:27
Speaker
Imagine eating a whole pizza and then having more pictures taken of you. Yeah. That was the, I mean, a lot of the, a lot of the models from yesterday are coming back tomorrow or from today or coming back tomorrow. Well, I mean, they're all on Benzo's so they're just craving pizza and sugar. I would not request a pizza.
01:26:46
Speaker
Uh, do you guys have like a subway sandwich and like half a pixie stick? I saw there was a subway inside the Walmart on the way here. Can we just get that? Oh yeah, of course. I can't believe that that thing that you just said actually happened one time. Oh yeah. We're all going to go to this like fucking Mexican restaurant that has chickens running around outside of it. And he's like, no, I think I'd rather go.
01:27:15
Speaker
to a Walmart subway. To a Walmart subway. That I didn't even know existed. Like, dude, you could at least go to the Wawa across the street. That's actually true. That was insane. That's a dangerous move. I'd rather not get the gas station sandwich that's made fresh. I've been in that Walmart. It's Goddard Town, too. Oh, fuck yeah. I went in that Walmart and bought stuff one time. That shit's a Goddard, dude.
01:27:43
Speaker
Bought a whole bunch of snacks to take back to the hotel room. Bought a bunch of Pokemon. Yeah, a bunch of Yu-Gi-Oh cards and then charged them to the company. You just have them in a circle around you in the hotel room. Dude, you got to get some Yu-Gi-Oh. Time to duel, baby. Get those spinner things. Beyblades? Yeah. Oh, man.
01:28:15
Speaker
Beyblades would be nice. You gotta do something. I can honestly submit an expense report for Beyblades right now and no one would know. Do something weird tomorrow for this photo shoot, Jared. All right. Just walk around with no shoes or socks on when everybody's doing the photo shoot. That wouldn't freak anyone out. You just jeans, good shirt, no shoes and socks. Honestly, that wouldn't register on anyone's radar. It definitely would, dude.
01:28:44
Speaker
wouldn't a toe ring. If you're just barefoot, while there's like 14 people in that registers in the house, dude, I really don't think it would. It's not your house. It's an Airbnb. Yeah, you can't go no shoes or socks when there's 14 people around. I will guess it's your domicile. I'm just telling you, like, I don't like people were wearing just socks today. And
01:29:13
Speaker
that's the limit I think yeah that's the limit dude I would have to go I would have to go up barefoot but then make up you know like make a scene of it like you put your feet up on the ottoman and you like wriggle your toes and shit that just walk walk harder on everything
01:29:35
Speaker
Just walk obsessively harder so they know when you're coming in out of the room. Yeah, just like, he'll stomping as I go. Do, do, do. Oh my god, that guy has no shoes or socks on. He's the domicile owner. Holy shit. And then everyone would be like, who is that guy? But then, yeah, but I guess everyone's... He's everyone here's boss. Run outside and run back in.
01:30:00
Speaker
You'd be like the boss and you'd be like the real chilled boss and grandma's boy. It was actually kind of funny. I was the lighting people came first while I was making breakfast. And so they came up and I was like, I was like, Oh, can you just wait here? I'll get to, I'll get the, um,
01:30:29
Speaker
the director. I'm not I'm not the one in the scene. I'm just the one who knows how to make breakfast look good. So he I think just thought I was like, you know, like a gopher or whatever, like a PA. And so then later in the day, he was like, Oh, hey, can you just like get that curtain there? And I was and and then
01:30:50
Speaker
One of my employees was like, he's everyone's boss. Order him around. That was pretty funny. He apologized and I was like, dude, I don't care. I'll get the fucking curtain. It's going to be here tomorrow. You're Mr. Cheasel. Yeah. What is that? He's the fucking boss from grandma's boy. Mr. Cheasel. That's a hilarious name.
01:31:17
Speaker
He's like, where do you get your weed from Mr. Cheasel? And he's like, from you, Dante. Oh, yeah. You'll have the monkey there. I think Grandma's Boy might be my favorite movie. Grandma's Boy is a good one. That's a good movie to be your favorite. I watched that one. I can respect that. Anchorman over the weekend still holds up.
01:31:41
Speaker
Anchorman is fucking hilarious. The second one was like started off pretty rough and then gets real funny. I don't think I've seen Anchorman two yet. I need a book report on grandma's boy next week. All right, Dr. Phil.
01:32:13
Speaker
Yeah. Dr. Phil died? Or is that a joke?
Workplace Chaos & Living Arrangements
01:32:21
Speaker
Dr. Phil died like two years ago. 1017. He died on Brick Squad's birthday. Dr. Phil's still alive. Not that Dr. Phil.
01:32:42
Speaker
Yeah, my GP. Not Dr. Phil McGraw. That guy's 73 years young. Younger than our president. That's for sure, dude. He's fucking something else, huh? He started this war. Which war? The Israel war.
01:33:07
Speaker
That was Biden, he accidentally, he dropped dementia bombs on fucking Israel by accident. Yeah. Oh shit. Oh shit. Those didn't mean to go there. He was supposed to be like pressing a button that keeps the gates closed. And he forgot to push the button and then that's how Hamas got into Israel.
01:33:30
Speaker
The US president's job to hit the button every 30 minutes and you fucking didn't. Yeah, you didn't hit it for like six days. Kept touching the gate thinking it was like electrified or something and then they touched it one day. It's like that scene in Harry Potter where they like don't get dissolved by the barrier. But what? And they did it. Who's your favorite president?
01:33:59
Speaker
who I saw three guys in the public's parking lot earlier this morning talking about George Washington. I didn't really hear much besides George Washington. You don't know George Washington, Washington, Washington. I would say JFK to six feet tall fucking killing for fun. Where? Where? Mine is coming. He's coming. Xi Zhang ping.
01:34:29
Speaker
Oh, you didn't specify American president. Is the president of the Central Asian America. You see the People's Republic. I don't know what piece PCP. I don't know the difference. There's a People's Republic of China and Taiwan's the Democratic Republic of China or some shit.
01:34:58
Speaker
It's all the same. I'll tell that to a Taiwanese person. They all don't know how to handle car accidents. That is facts. It's only a 20-hour flight to Taipei. Oh, yeah, only a 20-hour flight. Anything over a four-hour flight is way too long for me. Even a four-hour flight, I'm like, that's way too long. Yeah. Nothing wrong with that. Whatever.
01:35:27
Speaker
You do you, man. Jared, you just get a text that said, where are you? No, that was Pobs' phone. We've got a walkie. They already walked at me. What'd they say? They need like a fucking thing from my van. They were like, are you coming back soon? There's a bin in the van we need. I love that.
01:35:49
Speaker
Are you doing your podcast still? We want to be. Can you put the walkie up to the podcast? Said it was going to be an hour. It's been an hour and a half. Could we be on the podcast? How many of there are you? Five. God damn. Holy cow. It's a big house. Four bedroom main house plus the guest house.
01:36:19
Speaker
And one of the bedrooms in the main house is clearly meant for a couple, maybe two or three family couples and then their kids, because it's three essentially master bedrooms, and then a fourth bedroom that is just six bunk beds. Jesus.
01:36:43
Speaker
or uh there's not multiple people sleeping on bunk beds right now because we didn't need it and then the guest house is like a you know one like a one-room apartment or uh like a oh that's awesome so it's just you in the guest house yeah yeah that's awesome dude you lucked out then it's nice big bedroom full kitchen could you cook us breakfast in the morning
01:37:10
Speaker
I should just do that to be nice. They're mad at me because I didn't work hard enough today, I guess. Could you make us bacon and eggs, boss? Shouts out electric vehicles. I'm on a Tesla. There you go. Give your shout out, Jared. Shouts out to TSA, Transportation Safety Administration, for keeping us safe from
01:37:37
Speaker
I don't know, stupid Floridians who bring loaded guns to the airport.
01:38:35
Speaker
We like, we like to want it.