Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
JARED IS HIGH ON MUSHROOMS
52 Plays1 year ago
Shout out to Jared on this, buckling down and lying to his friends and audience about being boom boomed out on shrooms.
Subscribe & Review and join the reddit
https://www.reddit.com/r/dudesrus/
TAP INTO THE REDDIT LETS START A CULT (SAFE CULT)
JOIN THE REDDIT OR WE HARM OUR SELVES LIVE ON PERISCOPE
JOIN OUR REDDIT NOW WE ARE TAKING OVER DUDES R US REDDIT
JOIN US ON DISCORD UNTIL THE WORLD ENDS DUDES R US DISCORD
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Casual Banter
00:00:02
Speaker
Happy National Prayer Day. Stay prayed up. God bless.
00:00:14
Speaker
I think I got my swagger back.
Band Management and Humorous Offense
00:00:19
Speaker
Your vote tour? Well, I have something to offer for you. I manage a band called the Allen Door Band, and this band has 18 members that are ready to go and hungry to perform and get on stage and do whatever anybody tells them to. We made her a job. Who, Pocahontas?
00:00:43
Speaker
Pocahontas? Well, no, she's... Look, look, she is... She's very offensive. Oh, really? Oh, I'm sorry about that. Pocahontas? So what'd you say?
Health Tips and Cultural Missteps
00:00:55
Speaker
How does your leg feel today? Oh, feeling good. What happened to you? Huh? What happened? Just crap. Just a cramp? Oh, just crap. You told me, what can you eat to help you make you feel better? Bananas. Monkeys never clap.
00:01:14
Speaker
You know, monkey never corrupt. Sir, the Chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill. So what the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? The Chinaman is not the issue here, dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, dude. Across this line, you do not. Also, dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian American, please.
Podcast Introduction and Personal Stories
00:02:03
Speaker
Welcome to Dudes R Us. Your favourite podcast and our life all wrapped into one. Please stand by us as we provide entertainment for your day, if we can help we are here. Listen to this hot episode and get lost in the drift of Pab's keyboard. What were we doing? Me and you and David and we went to that restaurant. I took mushrooms then?
00:02:23
Speaker
Yeah, I mean it definitely fits where I was at mentally at that time. David was all yacked up. Oh, definitely. Those mushroom chocolate bars I still believe do not have mushrooms in them. Which ones? The ones that they sell at all those conventions. I think those are something else. They for sure do because I took one.
00:02:47
Speaker
when I was camping and it was, I don't, so here's the thing though. I don't know for sure that it was mushrooms. It could have been, it could have been something weird. It could have like, I don't, I don't know if there's like cheaper like Alibaba chemicals. You definitely have done like, I've definitely done them at least three times like knowing we do like the LSD test chemicals instead of LSD.
00:03:15
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, that's what I think it might have a so that's what I was gonna say is like I is like my the memorable one that I took were like Because there's like diminishing returns with shrooms and stuff where it's like if you go real hard one night It's like way harder to to do that the night after because you've like burned out all your serotonin So this was like night three of camping and we were all just trying to get to where we had been like two days ago and so it like half of one of those bars so like in addition to like
00:03:45
Speaker
regular shrooms and stuff but ate like four squares of that which should have been like
00:03:50
Speaker
two or three grams on top of what I had already taken. And I felt like within 20 minutes, the most intense come up and like hard tripping, but only for like 15 minutes where I was like completely overwhelmed, couldn't be around my friends, like went off into the woods alone. But because I was like, I'm, I'm like peeking really hard right now and it's going to be fucking weird if I'm around all those people.
00:04:19
Speaker
But then it was like done in like 15, 20 minutes, which wouldn't be, wouldn't be how shrooms would be. So yeah, just being some weird synthetic, like phenethylamine or something.
Ramen Talk: Flavors and Preferences
00:04:36
Speaker
Yeah, that stuff does have an intense come up and I'm kind of picturing like I'm very synced up with an acid like if like that feeling of where you just like you do feel to come up with and it just kicks in and then you're just can't, you can't catch up to the fucking treadmill of knowing you're on acid the whole time, but it just rules. Yeah, I fucking did that test chemical at that
00:05:04
Speaker
Had that park that Forrest Gump's filmed at in Georgia. Savannah. Pretty sick fucking park. I don't even know what park that is. It's like just, I don't know. It's like in the middle of it. I believe that. Yeah. I think they call it Forrest Gump Park. There's the bench that he sat on.
00:05:26
Speaker
Is it is that like the like crosswalk? Yeah, like, oh, whatever, where there's just always like some asshole there trying to take a picture. Tom Hanks, the pedophile sat in this fucking bench. The retarded pedophile sat on this bench. The guy who gave all of us COVID sat there. Iconically in that movie. Paul, do you know what?
00:05:55
Speaker
I actually had jotted down. I'm glad I remembered it. I'm back on at the, the ramen kick since our last episode, but do you prefer the beef ramen? Nope. I've only ever ate the chicken one ever. Was ever beef buffalo in the picture you sent? Or was that chicken broth? It looked like it was beef. It was the creamy chicken or the roast chicken or something. Oh, okay. But yeah, I've only ever had chicken.
00:06:25
Speaker
I have the beef on deck for some reason, but I've been just on the chicken. I mean, the chicken is definitely preferred, especially like the spicy chicken, but I haven't tried this, but it comes in packets of spicy chicken. Yeah. I've only ever had like the one that's like 12 of them for $4. Yeah, that's the ones I get at Walmart. They only maybe I got a ruchan or a chuchan.
00:06:51
Speaker
It's just the beef and the chicken still at it. But I just called. Hot and spicy chicken, the like Mar Maruchan or whatever. But I guess I put I dump a ton of the green hot sauce into it, too. And red pepper flakes. I guess I make it spicy, too. Yeah, you can do that. And I made a chicken cutlet, too, and tore it apart, threw it in there is nice.
00:07:20
Speaker
If you're ever lucky enough to find Bulldog, B-U-L-D-A-K ramen. It's like Korean spicy ramen, but there's a red pack and there's a black pack. Oh, that's dangerous. The black one.
00:07:39
Speaker
I can't remember. I think the red one is spicy and then the black one is double spicy, but I might have that. No, no, no. The black one's regular spicy and the red one is double spicy, but it's got like a bird on it with like a Edgar haircut holding a bomb. And then the rest of the packages in Korean, except for hot chicken flavored. That stuff will is really good, but it will fuck up your day.
00:08:09
Speaker
That's a good like half hour of just being like, why did I do that? Give it a try. And also, I like to be from like the beef ramen occasionally. I like the shrimp ramen. Got a branch out pops. I guess you can't do shrimp ramen, right? No, just I only like the chicken one.
00:08:38
Speaker
The shrimp flavored ramen comes with these like weird, tiny little shrimps in it. Oh, yeah, I don't like that at all. Freeze dried shrimps. Well, you know how like like the chicken ramen has like these little weird pieces of chicken in it. And the shrimp ramen does that, too, but they're like talking about there's no chicken in the chicken ramen. There's no chicken in the chicken ramen, bro. I guess in the cup noodles, chicken one, there's like little free. I don't eat those either. I just go back for people.
00:09:08
Speaker
I just go packets. I just those ones are just never my taste. Because they got the peas and shit in them too, right? Exactly. What the hell are these? Those ones have a very distinct smell that I can't get through my head after when I was like first tried them. You know what I mean? I mean, I guess I don't because I enjoy them. I hate those ones. Yeah, like most Korean out of us. So you're good. Yeah. Marooch and my root and
00:09:40
Speaker
Maruchan pack. It's just an orange and yellow pack with a smiley face on it. You, uh, I've been fucking going classy and just boiling it lately. Naughty. I gotta, if I need to, if I need to go back to the microwave, I need to get plugged in on the most up to date minutes. Oh no, I don't microwave. I boil the two cups of water and make it the right way. Same here. I do two cups of water and then I throw like a little fucking chicken broth in there too. Nice.
00:10:09
Speaker
The other day when I ate it, I must've had something else salty in the day, because I wanted to take my wedding ring off. I couldn't even get it past my knuckle. Because of the fucking salt. I'm mad salted right now. Yeah.
00:10:21
Speaker
Hand swelling. Mm-hmm. That's awesome, dude. I love to look at it. It's got like 65% of your sodium for the day. What? Then I had two packets. One at lunch and one for dinner the other day. I was probably sodium up. As long as you're not just drinking the broth, I don't drink the broth. I drank the broth. Yeah, you got to drink the broth. Come on. That's where all the red pepper flakes are. I need to get a spice burst. That's where all the nutrition is.
00:10:49
Speaker
Yeah, I drink. I think I drink enough water that it kind of fucking is like you do drink like an insane amount of water. You're you're you're all good. The last time you were here and you were like leaving in the morning.
00:11:02
Speaker
So it's not like you had all that much time. And then we stopped, we stopped at like a gas station to get snacks and whatever. And he got legit like six liters of water, like three regular waters and three seltzers for like, this was at like 8pm, like the next four hours. I crushed, I crushed all of them in the day. I believe you. I left one. You never saw his water bottle collection on his desk.
00:11:33
Speaker
I did, but that wasn't from. Oh, I forgot about that. Was that, that was all water bottles, right? It was all like large, uh, smart. That was alkaline days, dude. I was crushing alkaline. I was super alkaline. Damn, dude. I forgot about all those water bottles. That's where that ruled. Just stacking them up. And the fucking cleaning lady just took them all for the nickels probably.
00:11:59
Speaker
like, damn, this is a great collection. I need I need in on this.
Beverage Choices and Humorous Comparisons
00:12:04
Speaker
I respect it. It's all good. It's fine. Yeah, I fucking got to the point to pops. I was it was like last year or something. I drank too much water and I puked. I over hydrated myself. Jared, I was like, I have like the worst headache in the world. And Jared was like, Yeah, you
00:12:23
Speaker
Probably over hydrated the point where you have a headache now. I was like, yeah, that's true. I did puke earlier. You almost killed yourself like the whole dream lady. He told me that dude. You almost weave yourself. Yeah, I took a fucking lump out of my brain cell count with that one. That's okay. That's all good, man. We learn. You live, you learn. I love, I just was all about it. It's like my cousin getting sponsored by Spindrift. Like that was just a slap in the face.
00:12:53
Speaker
How the fuck does that happen? Just being good at golf, I guess. I was like, and I haven't tried those. The ones that she was promoting was those or the ones that she liked that she had on like the commercial ad or whatever. It was like, no, he does. I'm like, I can't find those anywhere. Even on Amazon, you know, bro, those are really good. We get those like probably every time we get spin drifts. Where do you get them from?
00:13:20
Speaker
Big Y. So maybe they're up there because she's from Mass too. Yeah, they've got them. Wegmans has them. Big Y has them down here. That's weird. That's pretty sick. Even on Amazon though, that's weird. I think one of my favorite seltzers is the pineapple bubbly.
00:13:43
Speaker
I tried the coconut La Croix for a while, Paul, and I think I got into them, but they're very like a treat myself moment. Coconut ones, it's tough to drink a whole can of the coconut one. Yeah. At some point, I feel like I'm drinking... Lotion. Lotion, exactly.
00:14:01
Speaker
Uh, I don't ever put them in the refrigerator. So they usually just, it's like so much worse. Damn. That rules. That's hardcore. I don't put like any seltzers in the refrigerators, drink them all warm. I grew up a whole different thing. My pops only drank fucking, he would just leave his racks of beer on the ground and just pour them over ice.
00:14:25
Speaker
I don't know why but just have a fucking still does to glass of beer over ice crushing it dude it's like probably yeah I get the water in I get this
00:14:46
Speaker
That's where you're just drinking enough beer where you're like, I can't even get it cold. I need I need to crash. Yeah. Or that's like the old lady is going to be pissed that I about how much fridge space I need to take up with. Yeah. Yeah. And it's because then, you know, he would he would pass out and leave one in the freezer for a quick cool down. And it would just explode on there. My mom would be pissed. That's awesome. Oh, man. Yeah.
00:15:15
Speaker
It's open the open the freezer just exploded beer all over dude I've blown so many things up like that Man yeah, I've been fucking forgot I Sometimes I gotta get a coke and quick cool down and oh my god if this explodes in here I'm gonna be fucked. There's no way you're getting coke out of here Yeah, we have to go in there with like a like an ice scraper
00:15:44
Speaker
Yeah, or melt it down. De-scaling your freezer. Sounds like a fucking grenade when it explodes too. All of a sudden it's just like...
00:15:55
Speaker
I don't know why that reminded me, but did you guys ever see the news story of the woman who like put like those what the fuck is the brand called Pillsbury Biscuits in the back of her car on like a hot day and then they explode the little like cylinder of it exploded and hit her in the back of the head and she thought she had been shot. Oh my God. Because she was like holding she was like holding the back of her head where the talking about where the way to hit her and she could and she was feeling the
00:16:24
Speaker
Like biscuit dough. Oh, it was like her brain leaking out of her skull Damn, imagine how she was after yeah She was just like sitting in her car screaming for help because she thought if she moved she would her brain would basically like fall out of her skull Yeah, and like fire department comes comes into her car. Okay. They're laughing She needs medical attention and she's just holding biscuit dough to the back of her head. Oh My god, I was find her name. Let's talk sir. Oh
00:16:54
Speaker
I know that person, but you're pretty fucking dumb. Do get her ass, Paul. I mean, if you really thought you got shot in the back of the head and then you thought you were holding your brains and that doesn't even make any sense. It's not like it's not like that, fucking.
00:17:22
Speaker
do to pinch that guy's crowded artery after he got his throat slipped by the skate. Jesus Christ. We won't say that again. As last episode last episode, saying it's not like that. Oh, fuck that. You can't just don't bring it up again. You can't just hold your brain in the back of your head. Dude, maybe she thought it was so funny. Just a ton of biscuits all over and she's like, I'm never buying these fucking things ever again. Did Pillsbury hook her up?
00:17:52
Speaker
I don't think, I don't really remember. Those things do fucking got some pressure on them. Yeah, when you like, sometimes when you like break them open, yeah, and it's like, we're extra. There was a little bit of extra. No, this one was actually shot in the head. All right, I can't find it. Oh my God. Now that you're a Costco member, Jared, you can buy those in bulk. Dude, I don't know, a 12 pack of the basket though. Why would you need that many?
00:18:21
Speaker
That's the problem, dude. Like, there's what we were talking about last week. And actually, it's kind of my kind of the rough thing about regular grocery stores, too. Like, actually, a decent concept in life would be like a grocery store for fucking single assholes like me, where you can get.
Creative Grocery Ideas and Sound Satisfaction
00:18:38
Speaker
That's a great idea. Half a loaf of bread. Or like a half sized thing of biscuits, because I like those Pillsbury biscuits. Sometimes if I want to make
00:18:49
Speaker
like a breakfast even just like for myself or just me and one other person and it's like that thing has eight biscuits in it and like a lot at most we're gonna eat four and that's still a little too many biscuits but i can i can do two and then the other person can can do two but you're like right now i still have four more biscuits and like they're not good once they get cold there's no reviving them yeah they just do a fucking no bro i fucked those up they're not like the croissants
00:19:19
Speaker
I made, uh, I made Annie's biscuits when I was staying at your house and just had them in a, uh, big old Ziploc bag and like kept going back there, but they're just not as good. The fucker. Annie's biscuits. It's like the Annie's version of pills. I don't know why I got those instead. Must've been something about them. I'll say unpopular opinion that Mac and cheese from Annie's is mid.
00:19:43
Speaker
It's trash, right? It's not what you ever want when you have a craving for mac and cheese. And then at the very least, if you're going to be like, Oh, we're made with organic ingredients and like, whatever it's like non GMO and like fair trade or whatever, then at least be good.
00:20:02
Speaker
But it's both like not what you want if you're like going in for box mac and cheese like the gold standard is like a craft mac and cheese. Yeah, you like improve upon that or give or give me something in that like ballpark. They have like the shells and white cheddar and like I think shells are a better.
00:20:19
Speaker
like pasta vessel for mac and cheese. So no harm there. But then the fucking white cheddar cheese sauce doesn't taste like anything. No, it doesn't taste like cheese. And like you would want that you would want that to be like a sharp white cheddar like give you a little tang give you a little but it doesn't have any flavor. I fucking hate Annie's shells and white cheddar. Get their ass bro. I want to go back to your idea about a store that sells half a loaf of bread.
00:20:49
Speaker
So I'm imagining that you would have them next to motels where divorced dads live. Yeah, or that seems like the target audience and mill apartment buildings too. Yeah, bro. Single people, single people grocery store in the city would fucking kill. Oh, yeah, of course, bro. Because you would people would buy so many like people who
00:21:15
Speaker
people would buy things that they don't buy at all right now because they're like, well, my only option for getting bread is either buy a pre-made sandwich or buy an entire loaf of bread, knowing that I'm going to throw three quarters of it out before I eat it. But if you gave those people an option where you just pull out four pieces of bread, you put the rest of it in the freezer. No one fucking does that. We do that.
00:21:42
Speaker
Yeah, but you are a family. You can get all that time. You just take it out of the fridge and defrost. I'm just telling you if there was an option to buy like eight slices of bread. I'm about to put you on all right big why sells half loaves of bread in the bakery. Is a normal sandwich bread or is it some weird ass bread? I want like it's normal sandwich bread. I want like
00:22:08
Speaker
Whatever that is, like Martin's potato bread or whatever. But I want to be able to buy eight slices. Butter bread. Butter bread. Big Y is your friend, dude. I'll check it out. You can go and get a half a loaf of Italian bread. Half a loaf of cheese bread. But it's not just loaves of bread. I think that's a great innovation.
00:22:36
Speaker
Give me one person, five pounds of everything of meat. You just got a beef. I was picturing a half pound of beef. I will have a half pound of the beef. I was just about to say that, that the single person, like sandwich meat would be a good one. Yeah. Half pound of, uh, fine. You just read chicken.
00:23:03
Speaker
You just go to, uh, you just go to the deli counter. That's what I'm saying though, for like single people, sandwich, bread, mustard, sandwich, meat just must reign supreme. Oh yeah, dude does. Used to fucking, used to do like, uh, I used to count out how many slices of deli meat I had for the week. People are like, all right, I'm good, dude. I'm good for 10 days. How many slices do you go per sandwich? Like three?
00:23:31
Speaker
Uh, I mean, when I was what those days, bro, it was like fucking one and a half some days now. Now I'm like, damn, yeah, I could do two. And then maybe I do like a piece of ham for the third. Yep. Hell yeah.
00:23:48
Speaker
Treat yourself, dude. Treat yourself. I usually go with two pieces of cheese at the least. Two pieces of cheese? I'll do two slices of cheese. I'll do two slices of cheese sometimes. Not every time, but. I do. I respect that. I usually eat one or two. I do turkey. Oh, that's spicy. I'll do some ham. God damn.
00:24:09
Speaker
Then I'll do one of the Grillo's hot pickles and I'll slice it up thin and then toss that on top. And then I'll do the deli mustard and then I'll dump a bunch of chips on top and then cut it diagonally and then eat it with some more chips. Wow. Chips and a sandwich. I'm real glad you're on the Grillo's train. So good. Hot ones. So good. Grillo's pickles are fantastic. Put those in the sandy. Eat one on the side. Come on.
00:24:40
Speaker
Come on. So good. Chips is this sandwich? Do I do the sour cream? Cape Cod kettle chips? Those things are awesome. Those things rule, David. Bro, I love I love Cape Cod chips, but then I always eat too many of them. It just fucks my mouth up. I end up with canker sores. You guys ever put regular lays in like a peanut butter and jelly?
00:25:09
Speaker
Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, that's not really good, dude. Any butter or just like a, yeah, like a turkey sand or something, pull a little layer of chips in there? No, that's what I'm saying. Not fucking bad. That's what I'm saying. I do that, dude. And I'm saying on the PB&J, put a little layer of regular lace. Good. Yeah. Hell yeah. I respect that. Or you do a little bit of granola. Anise laces. Granola, peanut butter, and jelly. Cut it down diagonally. Really good.
00:25:40
Speaker
Banana. I had peanut butter and banana tonight. Yeah, fuck yeah. A little honey on top. Why not? Fucking frying. You're fucking world, man. I got fucking honey, dude. Yeah. I made some wet fucking mac and cheese. It sounded great. That, that, um, what'd you say? Like you get it crispy on top? Yeah, I threw it in the oven. Nice.
00:26:08
Speaker
What was that Jared? Sorry. No, that like, uh, whatever that, I don't, there's no word for it. That sound it made when you were stirring it where you're like collapsing tubes and then they're reopening. That's like the perfect Mac and that's the sound you want your Mac and cheese to make. That's right, baby. That's some wop. Delicious. I don't know how insurance works.
Mishaps and Unexpected Costs
00:26:34
Speaker
So I moved obviously like over a year ago from where I lived to where I used to live, that apartment that you saw in the apartment I live now. And I didn't ever tell my insurance that I moved because I forgot. And why should it matter? And then they figured it out like three days ago. And we're like, hey, we just realized you moved from da, da, da to blah, blah, blah.
00:27:01
Speaker
and your insurance and like your new area has like a higher rate, because I had already paid off my insurance for the year. And I was like, see, you owe 86 more dollars on your policy. And I'm like, motherfuckers, I moved like a mile and a half from where I used to live. How is it 86 dollars more like dangerous where I live now? That's fucking racist. Is it because your place had like better for fire suppression and stuff?
00:27:31
Speaker
No, it's probably has to do with the area code. Yeah, bro. It's exactly what it is. I'm some fucking hoity toity area code where my car was locked in a gate controlled garage. Yeah, fuck that parking lot, bro. And now now I live in war.
00:27:53
Speaker
Now I live by the train tracks. Yeah, now you live on the train tracks. Now you live in the exact same type of luxury apartment just next to a Costco. That's fucked, fucked my whole life up. You'd be buying at Costco besides like house essentials. I buy clothes there.
00:28:12
Speaker
I was wondering who buys. I mean, it was actually as somebody who spent eight years in clothing retail and like spent a lot of time trying to make clothes look cool for people to buy. Like a lot of time. They don't look cool at all. It's just a fucking sloppy pile. That's what I mean. Do you know how much my.
00:28:32
Speaker
You don't know how much in my life I spent like getting like putting together a table or like or like dressing a mannequin to be like, I want people to see this and feel like, oh, if I were willing to spend 80 dollars, I could look like that and like and like imagine themselves being cooler than they are right now. And then I went to Costco. A week ago and just saw. Like 20 dudes shopping
00:29:00
Speaker
just sloppy piles of like wrangler jeans and fucking Columbia vests. And I was like, why did, like, why did I ever try this? This was the, this was the better way to do this. Give people a way to buy adequate men's clothing literally 10 feet away from meat. Yep.
00:29:24
Speaker
I buy all the Orvis shit that they sell. I got like four Orvis tees from there. An Orvis fucking relaxation sweatsuit from there. Orvis fucking like shirt jacket thing, shacket. I love gosh shacket. Yeah, so far, I've only bought
00:29:51
Speaker
water cases of water and your bees and Celsius is and a giant fucking bottle of Kirkland signature tequila. What does your be like? You're honestly probably too skinny for the clothing that they saw there. It's bad people clothing for sure.
00:30:14
Speaker
Um, there's different flavors of the Yerba things, Aiden. There's one that's like minty. There's one that's like grapefruit. There's one that's like blackberry. They all just kind of taste like pee. They get you jazzed up. Yeah, dude. That's like one of the few caffeinated things that I'm, that I'll drink and I'm like, I'm not bad caffeinated. I'm like good caffeinated. How's the Costco tequila? So I'm doing this bit right now. I probably shouldn't reveal it to the internet, but
00:30:44
Speaker
our two Dutch listeners can be in on the joke that I'm, uh, I'm trying to convince everyone I talked to about it, that class is all that like $175 tequila and Kirkland signature tequila tastes like indistinguishable from each other. Does it, does it, is it not good? No, it's probably good. No, it's good. It's, it's actually perfectly fine tequila. And then knowing that I got like,
00:31:13
Speaker
two, like a gallon of it for under 20 bucks. You're like, yeah, this is even better. Like it's not even that it's like, oh, it's pretty good for like a handle that you got for 20 bucks. It's like, no, it's just good. So that's the thing is people will try, like I thought I told this already, but I took it to the Halloween party. Yeah, and they were like shocked that Costco sold alcohol.
00:31:40
Speaker
And shirts too. And shirts. I've got the goddamn Costco branded sweatshirt that just says Costco on it. Nice. But anyway, I've kept that bit going at any time it comes up. I just tell people that it tastes exactly like clausie as a wool and then I'm like, actually?
00:31:56
Speaker
A lot of people don't know this, but classic Azul is bottled to the same bottling facility as the Kirkland signature tequila. So like, I can't prove this, but I'm willing to bet they're the exact same tequila. And like people want to believe stuff like that. I bet like all of them are bottled at the same three facilities. Uh, the ones that are white labeled like, like fucking.
00:32:20
Speaker
Like Michael Jordan's tequila or like Floyd Mayweather's tequila for sure. Cause they don't, they don't even do any like, like Clooney is probably the only celebrity who actually did some like due diligence and like did it right. The rest of them are just like, yeah, there's like companies you can just pay. You want your, you want a tequila brand or any other brand for that matter. And they'll just do the white labeling and put your shit on it. But that's like, they do that for,
00:32:48
Speaker
a hundred different companies. Yeah. I want to try their bottled and bond whiskey. You should. I'm not going to go to Costco between now and Saturday, but you want me to pick you one up. You want me to pick you one up. I will go before now on Saturday. Go tonight. I'll pick you one up. How about that? Now you have to invite me over Saturday.
00:33:16
Speaker
You were already invited. You're like the only person who said yes so far. What do you got going Saturday? What kind of party? Doesn't matter. Just a fire. Oh, cool. Yeah. Thanks, Jared. Well, you're going to be in town? Yeah, I'm going to town right now. I'm broadcasting from Gillette Stadium. That makes sense. I'm right down the road. That's actually not anywhere near me.
00:33:48
Speaker
I'm right down the road in Sharon Mass. I don't even know what that is, to be honest. I'm in Wisconsin on New York. I'm in the Chattanooga interstate. You joke about that. I went to a wedding in Virginia, and it was next to the National Forest.
00:34:16
Speaker
Uh, the blue Hills, I think. And no, not blue Hills, blue angels, whatever. It doesn't matter. I was near a national forest and I drove past the turn that I was supposed to turn into. And then for another 15 miles, I couldn't turn and it was nighttime. And I got stuck behind a fucking Mac truck that was going uphill. So I was going like, you know, fucking 15 miles an hour. I was, I went, I left the wedding to go let my dog out. And then I went to go back. I was the DD.
00:34:46
Speaker
Missed the turn and I missed like the second half of the wedding reception because I missed that turn. Oh, I was, and then I got up to where I thought I could turn around and I pulled into the national park and then couldn't actually turn around.
00:35:04
Speaker
Oh my god, what you had to do in your car? Oh yeah, I had to like basically drive over the curb to be able to get back out because I had to pull up to the visitors like the, you know, where they have like the gate and the gate was closed. So I was just like stuck again.
00:35:22
Speaker
I thought you were going to tell me how to do that thing where you were you're like reversing on basically like a narrow road reverse for like a mile. The curve was that the road like a divider in the middle so you couldn't even just do like an illegal turn. Correct. Yeah. It's the entrance to a national park. So it was like the entrance and the exit so they don't want you to just like drive into the other traffic.
00:35:49
Speaker
It was a fucking bad, bad scene. My phone didn't work. I was by myself. It was dark as hell. It was in December. My phone didn't work because I was in the middle of nowhere. Oh my God. Couldn't even listen to music. I was like, this is insanity. You got to listen to the entire Joe Rogan episode. Literally, bro, the only reason my Google Maps was working is because it went into offline mode and had saved the map. Oh, nice.
00:36:21
Speaker
I was like, this is a fucking nightmare. I feel like I'm gonna get murdered out here. That sucks. Dude, you got a cough drop or something? Yeah, sorry. That's all right. I'm making sure my voice is crispy for everybody. Yeah, sorry to call you out. Just wasn't sure what that sound was. Good call out, dude. Sorry, listeners. Sorry, Belgium. Sorry to Belgium listeners. Yeah, my bad, guys.
00:36:45
Speaker
Dutch people famously hate is Dutch Belgium. Yeah, it is. I don't think it is. I don't think it is. I think they're Belgian. Yeah, I think they're Belgian, dude. Wait, what did I say? Oh, wow. How did I fucking miss that? Obviously, they're Belgian. Yeah, I was confused when he texted that earlier. I was like, that's fucking Dutch people. They're from the Netherlands. Yeah. Jesus. Sorry, Mr. Damon. Shit. Sorry. I bet Belgian people hate that. Sorry, Belgian people. Brussels muscles and Brussels, dude.
00:37:16
Speaker
Um, well, stop listening now. Thanks. You got to tell me if those two Dutch listeners, if those two Belgian listeners stop listening, you're going to have to fly over there and get them back. I will. Like when you accidentally go, when you go to the deli in Boston and they're Turkish, but you call them Greek and then they get wicked best to you. Yeah. They don't like that. What are you walking? You go, are you guys Greek? What are you guys? I went to the same deli. I basically ate there every single day.
00:37:46
Speaker
And they had all this like fucking soccer shit up on the wall. And I was like, Oh, you guys Greek? And they're like, Oh, Paul, they're so disappointed. We are Turks. Okay, whatever. It's all the same to me. Like Rod made me more upset. Yeah, that's probably that would be like calling them Cypriots. Can I go take a shit in your weird basement bathroom again? Damn, weird bathrooms like that are great.
00:38:16
Speaker
There was like a public there was like a public non public bathroom at the CVS in my hometown. Like if you knew where it was, because they couldn't tell you there was no bathroom, but it was clearly built before like public restrooms were mandatory. You had to go like through an employee entrance, and then through like a weird back room. And then there was a bathroom that they would let you use, which I discovered when I was younger. But then in my teen years, that was a great place to steal corset and
00:38:47
Speaker
to robo trip. I might have told this before, but when I was at that college pizza, one time I walk in and this dude, his name was Ali, shouts out Ali.
Humor in Everyday Situations
00:38:59
Speaker
He's like, he knew I was a stoner and he's like, Oh, Paul, I got, I got some Afghan Kush on me. Hell yeah. And I'm like, Oh, really? And he's like, it's straight from Afghanistan, Afghanistan friend. I'm like, I see it. And he looks around and he reaches into the front of his pants and he pulls out
00:39:17
Speaker
A fucking gallon sized Ziploc bag full of dimed up bags. And he was like, I'll sell you some, like how much is it? He's like 25 bucks a gram. And I was like, no, I'm good. I'm good. I don't need that, bro. That's a terrible price. Then he was offended that I want to buy it. I was like, I'm good on that. It's the oldest trick in the book right there, dude.
00:39:41
Speaker
but they used to like, they also had a bathroom that was an actual employee only bathroom. Like they didn't have a bathroom that was public. But if you had to know them enough, they would let you use it. And you had to go behind the counter. Then you'd go to the prep table and they'd open the prep table up. And then there was a trap door that opened. And you would go through the trap door down this fucking crazy steep set of stairs into the basement of the building.
00:40:11
Speaker
There was just one light bulb swinging on like a chain down there. It was like a dungeon. And then there was a fucking bathroom down there and it was, it was so sketchy. I would be so drunk coming home at night and asked to use their bathroom. It almost fell down those fucking stairs a few times. Show up and buy a slice of pizza and be like, yo, can I go use your bathroom? Be like, yeah, come back here, swing underneath the prep table. What kind of slice would you get?
00:40:39
Speaker
It was all Greek style pizza. So good. That's why I thought they were Greek. What the fuck? Yeah, Turkish people don't make pizza. Come on, guys. What did they make? You were in the right there. There was Ali and Ozzy. Ozzy's a sick name. Mm hmm. It's funny because I lived in the apartment next to me. I have a Greek friend named Ozzy.
00:41:08
Speaker
A lot of things pointing towards Greek. Yeah, all systems go on Greek. They just have this big red flag on the wall with a present moon. Very Greek. The fucking owner of the business lived in the apartment next to me. Lived in the lakeside to see him every day.
00:41:31
Speaker
What'd you, what'd you say when you'd see him? Did you go? Oh, what's up Ozzy? How's the family? And then I go to the family and he'd be like, Oh, Pabs, I love you. Shut the fuck up. My best customer. Come try the baklava. Come take a piss in my bathroom.
00:41:49
Speaker
I fucking had a weird camera in there that you didn't know about. Come pee in my bathroom. We were having a party at our house one time and my roommate had to take a shit. Did you live that close that you could just go to your bathroom? Oh yeah, we were like four or five buildings down from it. That's awesome. We were having a party, my friend had to take a shit, so he left the party and went and took a shit in their weird basement bathroom.
00:42:18
Speaker
Oh, man. If only we could all go back to college. Paul, what's uh, what's the latest on the conspiracy side of things? I got nothing right now. There's no good new ones. No compelling. Nothing at all. You gotta be something. Nothing that I believe in. I mean, you didn't know who Dorner was. That was pretty crazy. That's old. The goat of all conspiracies.
00:42:50
Speaker
Uh, the goat of all conspiracies is 9 11. Yeah. Don't we kind of know what happened there? Yeah, Scotty Pippin fucking had them fly some planes into the goddamn buildings. Scotty Pippin looks like Scotty Pippin. You ever think about how crazy it would be though, if the government did ever, if they ever just were like, all right, we lied. Fucking George Bush definitely like
00:43:20
Speaker
We paid the Taliban to fly the fucking airplanes into the building and kill all these people. We definitely did it. And it was like a pretense for starting war with Iran to push the fucking Patriot Act through so we could spy on you. And so you had to get your fucking fingers stuck in your ass every time you go through TSA. Oh my God.
00:43:46
Speaker
You're saying this like that's not you're like, wouldn't it be crazy if that were the truth? Well, it would be crazy if they actually admitted to it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like full scale riots, I think. I think that's why they were so hard on. No, I can't say that. Nevermind. Yes, you can say whatever you want. Say whatever you want. Freedom of speech, bro. No, not a freedom doing doing a bit where you're like, Oh, that's why they were so hard on the January 6 people because they found some secrets out.
00:44:14
Speaker
Ah, they pulled some club, uh, some desks open, found some, yeah, they pulled an open, Nancy Pelosi's desk drawer. And it was like, how we, the husband getting beat the shit out of with a hammer by a gay guy. You guys watch that fucking body cam footage. No, I can't watch the weirdest fucking thing in the world. Paul, have you seen it?
00:44:42
Speaker
It's Nancy Pelosi's husband in that and some huge like 200 pound sloppy dude. Cops walk like knock on the door and he like opens the door and he's like holding this guy's hand. And the cops are like, hey, what you called like what's going on? And that sloppy dude that's holding him like hostage or his arm hostage is like nothing. And then like they like take a step in and that guy's holding like a hammer.
00:45:10
Speaker
And then both of them are like just super chill. And then the guy just randomly just swings on them and hits them in the head with a hammer. And it's just like all out brawl on the floor. But it's the weirdest fucking vibes are like where you guys you guys must know each other or something it has to be with you how you're standing here. I mean, I don't even get it that dude's on mad great like he got caught drinking and driving and only went to
00:45:35
Speaker
jail jail for five days. He actually went to jail. Yep, he pleaded guilty to a DUI charge and got sentenced to five days in jail. Who knows if he actually went but that's the yeah, that's crazy that he would actually go to jail. Honestly, just like how I would imagine the world works. Like if one of us got caught with a DUI where you had go to jail and wouldn't be for five days. No, what do you have to do to jail for a DUI? Probably crash your vehicle.
00:46:02
Speaker
Just be awesome. There's fucking this fucking beach speeding down the highway. Damn, I got way too cool to be out here. Yeah, you're going way too. You look way too cool. Oh, and you're drunk, dude. I got to bring you to jail. Andrew smoking a cigarette. Yeah. Fuck. I got to bring I got to put you away, bro. Sorry. Well, what? What?
00:46:30
Speaker
Yeah, Jared's definitely on mushrooms. Wow. You're watching the video. Am I back? Yeah, you're back. That was weird. Dude, how many mushrooms did you eat before this fucking thing? I don't need any. Give me a break. Paul. I hope that doesn't fuck the audio up again. What happened?
00:46:59
Speaker
I don't know, dude, like you guys were clearly talking and then it, and then it just went silent, like mid sentence, but I can hear myself. So I was like, Oh shit, I'm a fucking weird. Just happened. And then I just hit reload and now we're good. Great. Hopefully. I mean, I, hopefully cause I realized it really quickly. If it does do anything, it's like only a second off. Yeah. That's the worst part. It's the one that's a second off. Thanks a lot, Jared. I don't think I did that.
00:47:28
Speaker
You're because you're on drugs, dude, you just fucking I'm on drugs. I'm high on life. You're on drugs. I'm on ibuprofen. Worse than anything you could take. It's worse than heroin. You guys, you guys hear about all those Chinese people that got their eyes burned at
00:47:57
Speaker
Uh, board eight yacht club party. Board eight yacht club party. Did you just say board eight yacht club thing twice or was that your microphone? I said it twice. Oh, all right. Yeah. What happened with that? I didn't hear about it. You guys know what board eight yacht club is of course, right? It's an NFT, right? It's an NFT. Okay. And then I guess they put on like a party. What?
00:48:26
Speaker
Nothing. I guess they put on a party for NFT holders. That is probably called like a fast or something. Damn should have burned it down. It was all Chinaman. I don't know that it was all Chinaman but they had a few of them.
00:48:47
Speaker
They had that party got them all cut They they had that party in Hong Kong a few days ago or maybe last weekend everything was in styrofoam And
00:49:10
Speaker
So it's a fucking right. It's a fucking party for dumb shits who own boarded. What the fuck is it called boarding NFTs? It's here, right? It's in like Miami or something. Yeah, probably.
00:49:25
Speaker
probably was like an art basil thing in the beginning. But then I guess, so they, I guess they, you know, at the warehouse or wherever where they had the party. That's the CVS bathroom they have. Yeah. They were using, um, you know, those like UV, UV tubes for like germicidal lamps, like the, like they have the little,
00:49:50
Speaker
like boxes you can put your phone in and it's supposed to like kill the bacteria on it. OK, but they make those as like full size like fluorescent tubes. But they're still meant for like, you know, very specific like health care uses that are not meant to be like put into a regular light fixture. And so they use those germicidal tube lamps, I'm assuming because they're cheaper or something.
00:50:16
Speaker
And, uh, but those give off like UVB radiation because that's what kills the bacteria. So all the people that are like. Dozens of people that were at that party have like severe like burns on their cornea and stuff. Oh my God. But you don't realize it until like, you don't realize it right away. So you're just like, you went to this party. It's like, you know, it's like bright and whatever. And then like a day later or like the morning after your, you have like sunburns on your cornea, basically.
00:50:49
Speaker
so uh that's pretty funny that's fucked yeah you're not supposed to be like in the same room as those things no you're definitely not supposed to be like looking at them dancing under them dancing under them doing anything like that so uh yeah and i think it's happened before i think since like
00:51:19
Speaker
those like types of light bulbs became like more available because of COVID shit. It's happened multiple times where people have like accidentally bought them. I've been like, oh, we'll just put like the germicide lamps all throughout the bathroom to keep the bathroom clean. And it's like, no, no, no, no, you don't do that. You're supposed to put them in like a box under something probably. Yeah, exactly.
00:51:49
Speaker
Like, yeah, exactly. Like a little like shelf that you can put your hands under to like, infect your hands or something. Not like to used to light a room. Would you? People are crazy with that shit anyways. Yeah. When's the last time you actually sanitize something? When's the last time you wash your hands after taking a piss? Come on.
00:52:10
Speaker
Would you have those at your single man grocery store? Like in order to disinfect yourself or for available for purchase? Yeah, available for purchase. No, because it would have to be, it would have to be like a TJ's where like, you know, you've got a very limited amount of space. So you've really only got a, you really can only have the high, the high velocity items there. Yep. And I just think that as, as pub said, uh,
00:52:42
Speaker
Uh, dudes aren't really like that concerned about being clean. Yep. Yo, if you could get Trader Joe's frozen section in Costco size, that'd be great. That I'd be okay with. Because it's frozen. Trader Joe's. Oh, dude, it's dank. Yeah, Trader Joe's is dope. I mean, Trader Joe's is not where I'm doing all my grocery shopping. How would you? It feels okay.
00:53:09
Speaker
I don't know how you could. Do they have deli meat at Trader Joe's? No. Yeah. All right. Here's a good conspiracy. You remember the woman who was on the airplane and she was like, I'm getting off this airplane because the motherfucker is not real.
Viral Videos and Game Speculations
00:53:24
Speaker
Wait, what? She allegedly was on Fox with Jesse Waters, but her face looks nothing like the one in the original video. So people think they replaced her. Oh, yeah. She was just, she was just hanging out with all the barstool. They dude, they did.
00:53:40
Speaker
I don't know anything about the story start from the top. Give me the abridger. You never saw that video. You got to see the video. I mean, it's pretty stupid. I think it's like what's her name. I think she's just wasted on a plane basically. And she thinks there's somebody there who's not real. But they never show the person that she was talking about crazy plane lady. Mm hmm. All right, I'll watch that later.
00:54:06
Speaker
GT six dropping in December, right? Dropping a trailer into their first official trailer in December. God damn it. Probably means it's like a summer launch. Probably November. November 24. Yeah, if you're lucky. Probably fucking never gonna happen.
00:54:36
Speaker
I want to believe that they they're releasing a trailer and it's been this long to be like, look how fucking polished this game is. Like, it's not like it has to be. It's been fucking 200 years. That's what I mean. It's not a trailer where you're like, oh, this is mostly cinematic footage. Not a lot of gameplay footage.
00:54:55
Speaker
because they haven't really finished the game yet. Like if that's the state of things, that's fucked up. They have a, they have like a basically complete game that needs like four more months of polish. That's, that's what I think. I don't know though.
00:55:23
Speaker
It's going to be so fucking crazy what you could do in that game. Oh, yeah. Definitely going to be able to buy weed. Yeah. Yeah, I would agree with that. I think I'm curious. Not that curious. You're going to be able to do crazy stuff. I hope just the real estate part gets better.
00:55:54
Speaker
Definitely got to have better real estate stuff. Definitely got to have better like, I don't know, like, like ability to like customize yourself and stuff like that. Yes. But yeah,
00:56:17
Speaker
I guess my, not my biggest hope, my first hope offhand is that the missions and quests and stuff do not involve as much pointless driving. That's like a big part of the game. I get that it's a big part of the game, but so much of that game is just grinding and then you are just doing the same thing where you're like, okay, I just have to drive
00:56:42
Speaker
Five fucking miles across the city where and like nothing happened. It's like at least make it worth my while like make Have there be something happening? That's all I'm saying But yeah, I'm psyched trailer's gonna be insane
00:57:09
Speaker
It's going to be very realistic. It has to be. Yep. You're gonna have to like eat certain amounts of food probably. I hope they don't do. I mean, there's stuff like that where it's like, you don't want to go too far into realism. Yes, you do. You think so? Yes, dude. Well, like if you don't hydrate, like you have a hydration meter and if you don't drink water. Not that stuff. What would it be? What do you mean then?
00:57:36
Speaker
You know, if you don't have certain pairs of shorts and it's hot outside and you're already outside and it's hot, hotter than you thought and you're wearing long sleeve shirt and stuff. Yeah.
00:57:57
Speaker
And you're like, Oh, I can't roll up my sleeves. Cause it's all like too tight on my forearm. So then I guess I'll just be a little more hot. And now I'm wearing the long sleeve shirt. And like, I guess I'll just actually, it's a better day than I thought. And you gotta get like gas and stuff that day. Oh my God. Imagine if they implemented that you needed to get gas.
00:58:24
Speaker
I'd be nice because then you just like people up at the gas station. Yeah. You have a swamp ass meter. Definitely no flying shit. That's what's gonna fucking be on there. They're better not be. No, that's what that comes at the death of the game. Yeah, no fucking whatever it is. Dominator or whatever it's called.
00:58:55
Speaker
Even though it looks like it would be fun. Yeah, even though you're jealous of it all. I want a flying bike. I want a dominator. Oppressor. Is that what it's called? Presser. I think it's the oppressor. The flying motorcycle. Yeah. Yeah, the oppressor. Presser mark to fuck that thing.
00:59:21
Speaker
And the fucking God and that fucking I don't know which one it was. One of the one of the jets that you can get. There was like a glitch that they just didn't fix for like I don't even know if it's fixed yet. There was like an invincible fucking jet. You could just exploit this glitch really easily that made the jet impossible to blow up. So you would just get fucking trolled. By somebody who like no matter what you did, you couldn't blow up their stupid jet.
00:59:51
Speaker
How is that even fun? How is that even fun is what I'm saying. And then I'm like, I need to get over the side of me that's like, I'm not leaving this server. Like, you're not gonna make me leave this server. Because that feels like that feels like defeat. Yeah, it is. Yeah. But it's like I can't but also like I can't reasonably fight against somebody who hasn't fucking
01:00:16
Speaker
infinite health jet when i'm like trying to get you in a stupid that my only flying thing which is like a helicopter is impossible trying to shoot up fireworks at it the whole time yeah exactly but i'm like i don't want to give them the satisfaction of me leaving but then i'm just giving them the satisfaction of like killing me over and over again life's tough man dude i feel that
01:00:46
Speaker
then you're all like, damn, life is tough. Yeah, dude. Who whose decision was that? Oh, no. Paul, what do you think? Was your take on it, Paul? I was at the gas station the other day. Tell me about it. And I noticed that the little piece that connects the gas pump to the gas line was made in Taiwan. Okay.
01:01:13
Speaker
And all I could think was, man, the people in China would be pissed about this. Why? Because they're acknowledging that Taiwan exists. Well, when you say the people of China, you know, I mean, well, I guess what I'm saying is the is the island of Taiwan is the seat of the official government of China.
Sensitive Global Discussions
01:01:45
Speaker
And, uh, and, uh, sounds very pro CCP of you. No, what I'm saying. Fuck bro. No. No, you don't, your eyes burned at this party. You don't know what your eyes burnt right now. You don't know. You don't know how, what's going on here. Right. So Taiwan maintains to this day that they are the official government of the entire country of China.
01:02:17
Speaker
And obviously the whatever people's glorious communist party of China also maintains the same thing. That's why they're like, it's not like Jared's gonna go, Oh, man, communism works. It's just never been done. Right? No, no, no, no. That's why it's like a different situation that like people people think that like Taiwan's like a separatist movement or whatever where they're like,
01:02:44
Speaker
We're just these people on the island and we want to be independent. Just to be clear, I don't give a shit about any of that. I just thought it was funny that it said Taiwan on it. They're not. They're not. They don't maintain that they deserve independence from China. They maintain that they are the true government of China and the Communist Party is like usurpers, basically, which is obviously. I think they know.
01:03:12
Speaker
in their like heart of hearts that that's, even if that's true, they, they lost already, but they have to maintain that, that political stance, because if they don't, if they were to be like, fine, we're not really the official government. We just want independence. Then China can be like, well, cool. We're just going to, you're just a separatist movement and we're going to fucking blow your shit up. Well, the other big conspiracy theory is that Israel is going to get into a war.
01:03:41
Speaker
with Iran, Iran, Iran, whatever. Iran. And then that's going to open up China to invade Taiwan because the United States will be wrapped up in the Israel-Iran conflict. Iran. Iran. Iran. Iran so far away. Oh, and then the United States will get into a war with China over Taiwan because we need their microchips and microprocessors.
01:04:11
Speaker
I think that's super unlikely. Well, they've been saying that they, these people who come up with these conspiracy theories have been saying that since Russia and Ukraine got into a war. Yeah. I don't know. It's actually not a war. It's a special military operation. Just to be clear. Sure. This is a pro Russia podcast. Is it? Two, two Russia listeners. No, are you listeners are Ukrainian Belgium and Ukraine.
01:04:40
Speaker
Yeah. I'm pro Ukraine. Jared has a little Ukraine flag in his Twitter handle. I'm pro CCP. Interesting. They, they've been there. They've labor camps in Russia. Jared's gonna, or Aiden's gonna have a little Patreon exclusive, or he's like John Cena saying that Taiwan doesn't exist in Mandarin. Oh my God. Is that what he said?
01:05:08
Speaker
Uh, he's apologizing to the Chinese people for acknowledging that Taiwan exists. Oh my God. Just because they have so much buying power. It's like why our movies have to be like China friendly now because Western movies, like Marvel movies and shit make like half their money on the Chinese market. And China won't let you like have a movie if there's like a skeleton in it. So they either make sure that stuff can be easily edited out or they just don't do it.
01:05:39
Speaker
Which I guess is like kind of what America did for a long time. It's just cultural hegemony in reverse. I'll just toe the line. Like Donald Trump. I just want the killing to stop. Is that what he said? Well, then he was like talking about Netanyahu though. He was like, baby Netanyahu. That's so funny. When he was asked about Russia and Ukraine, the woman is like, but you want Ukraine to win. And he's like, I don't want anyone to win. I just want the killing to stop. Oh.
01:06:11
Speaker
I want more killing on both sides. Yeah, we really got to pump up the numbers on combat footage. Damn. Yeah, you know, not a fan of any of it, but definitely less the fan of Israel bombing children.
01:06:39
Speaker
while they pretend that they're going after Hamas targets that they don't even have names for. Just saying. Can't you say you're not a fan of Hamas going into fucking Israel and killing all those people in their home, including children? I don't think they really did that. Can you just say it in a reverse way? You don't think that they really did that when you can watch videos of it? I think that was like... I think that was demonstrated. You're going off the deep end right now, dude. You can watch it. There's videos of it.
01:07:09
Speaker
Uh, can you really trust anything on video? You can most definitely trust video. I don't know, man. So then can you trust that Israel is blowing up Palestine? It seems really, well, they're just straight up admitting to it. So even if you didn't believe the video, it just seems very interesting to me that
01:07:41
Speaker
that Israel had no idea that this was going to happen. You just completely caught off guard. And then, you know, October or whatever that was, October 7th and then on October 8th, they knew exactly where Hamas military targets were. They knew all of these things. It's very interesting.
01:08:06
Speaker
That it was like, this was, you know, like Israel that has like the most sophisticated surveillance probably next to us. Didn't know this was going to happen. Didn't know that like Hamas is going to like jump a fence basically. And then, and then after it happened, they were like, Oh, okay. We have like a very sophisticated and coordinated, like.
01:08:31
Speaker
like news like information war campaign, like suddenly all these like celebrities and like news outlets and stuff are all like saying the same thing. And like every friend you have on like social media is like doing some same thing. And then also they know like exactly how this Hamas targets like hiding in this fucking hospital parking garage just all seems very convenient is all I'm saying.
01:09:00
Speaker
You've lost me. Okay. A lot of people are lost. Can't be helped. I mean, it's been happening to Israel since it became a fucking country has been attacked by other Middle Eastern countries like six or seven times. By all of the other like Egypt, all of them. Yeah, you just hate Jewish people, dude. It's okay. I
01:09:28
Speaker
Don't agree that Israel, just to be clear, guys, I'm kidding. I don't think Jared hates Jewish people. That was a step too far. That was my bad. Well, you, well, you got on, cause you're, I know you're doing a bit, but a lot of people do this where you're like, it basically equate the state of Israel, like a government, like I'm Jewish people to the
01:09:52
Speaker
like support, support or lack of support for the state of Israel and the actions of the Israeli government to the like quality of being ethnically or culturally Jewish, which there's not really any other country or group of people that can claim that. Like, you know, we're all American.
01:10:15
Speaker
And that means that doesn't, you know, you couldn't be like, well, if you're against the actions of America, you're also, you know, racist, or you're also, you know, against a particular religion. It's like, that's the only country that seems to get that. And then you're like, okay, what about like Jewish people who don't even live in Israel? How am I anti-Jewish? If I'm like, Hey, the Israeli government's doing some fucked up things. I don't agree with.
01:10:44
Speaker
killing tens of thousands of children in order to kill one Hamas guy. And you're like, you're anti-Semitic. And it's like, no, how is that? How are those two statements equivalent? That's all I'm saying. We can leave it there.
01:11:04
Speaker
Yeah, so like when I was at the gas station, a little pump and it said Taiwan on it. I don't think I don't know. Just trying to get mad when you acknowledge like Taiwan's like a place. Yeah, they don't. It doesn't exist. I think if it wasn't well, it's China. That's their that's their point of view. How does China how does
01:11:30
Speaker
China feel about made in Taiwan. Not good. Why China Taiwan relations are so tense. Not reading that China and Taiwan, a really simple guide. China needs Taiwan. Taiwan products the same as made in China products. I can't do this. Well, that's fine. It seems like a, one of those situations, like a Mexican standoff, you know,
01:12:00
Speaker
Like China would obviously love to probably take over officially take over Taiwan and like get rid of that separatist movement. But as we see in Ukraine and Israel, you can't do that without bombing the shit out of a place and they can't bomb the shit out of Taiwan without ruining their.
01:12:19
Speaker
microchip manufacturer or microprocessor manufacturing operations. And then that just, and then that would actually where they just make all the precursor for fentanyl. Yeah. And that would then send a Mexico cripple their war effort. Cause probably like every one of those bombs has a microchip in it that Taiwan makes, you know, it was just outside honking a horn. What? All right. Maybe that's me.
01:12:48
Speaker
That's you, dude. Damn, dude, you're all fucking smacked up right now. I can just hear somebody laying on a horn right now. They're all crossed up, dude. All crossed up. Just arguing with Paul about Hamas and fucking doing drugs. You guys are gonna stop me when I do that. You gotta be like, all right, Jared. No one wants to hear this. Because I'll keep going. We give you your time every episode. That's rude as fuck.
01:13:21
Speaker
I just like to get your riled up. It's so easy. Give you your space. Everyone's like, all right, Jared's going off about Israel. Time for a bath and break. What did you eat this morning, Jared? This morning? Yeah, what'd you fuel up the tank with, guys?
01:13:52
Speaker
I all I had two kind bars. God. Did you fucking free solo a cliff after something? No, I worked. I have a fruit and nut kind bar. God. That's not fuel in the table. Then what am I supposed to do? Sometimes I don't want to flip a fucking egg in the pan, dude.
01:14:21
Speaker
I've been able to stomach eggs lately. Make deviled eggs and then just fucking eat them in the morning. I wouldn't do that. Way too many eggs and now I've got the egg on them. Damn dude. But not like the cheap ones. Like if I go to like Dunkin Donuts or something, I can eat that like fucking fake egg that comes in an egg sandwich. Oh God. We'll just like making an egg at home. Something about it.
01:14:54
Speaker
I had a room temperature can of coke and a buttered bagel. Warm coke is wild. It's like one of those things that I would rather not have a coke. You know, the entrance to my house got that big glass door. You have like 11 fridges in your house stays relatively cool fridge on every in every room of your house.
01:15:23
Speaker
Do you have a fridge in every room in your house? I have one in the living room upstairs and I have one in my kitchen. And you have one in the garage? That's a freezer. All right. That freezer is just a short term fridge. That's true. It's a quick fridge. It's a fast fridge.
01:15:43
Speaker
Um, um, it's, I mean, I, I'm not judging your life. I would just personally prefer, uh, refrigerated Coke over a mudroom temperature Coke. I like all Cokes, separate Coke zero. It's not a big fan of those. I think, I mean, if I, I would just just have a Coke, but if I were to, for whatever reason, be concerned about
01:16:13
Speaker
calories or sugar Coke zeros better than like a diet coke I Don't know how I actually genuinely don't know how they're different They taste different But coke zeros better Coke zeros all the flavor none of the calories buddy Yeah, that's what I'm looking for Diet coke is its own beverage
01:16:42
Speaker
It's not actually Coke. It's just its own thing. I had a DC on Tuesday to, I don't know why it just was, uh, someone had some extras at work and I was like, yeah, let me get one of those. How'd it feel? It felt like I was taking, uh, what's that, what's that thing called? What's, uh, stuff you take when you're getting off oxies. Narcan.
01:17:11
Speaker
No, that's what you would get. Fucking no. I know what you mean. Methadone. Yeah, that's the fucking methadone of Coke. I feel like I'm fucking at rehab when I'm drinking a D.C., dude. If you drink, I drink regular Coke sometimes. I'm trying to drink less of it now. But when you drink a D.C., do you just taste it's a world of you just taste like different. So it's an aspartame.
01:17:40
Speaker
Yeah, fuck that shit. You dick. Well, I asked for time. Your DC guy. Well, I just like regular coke, but I definitely I'll fucking DC up, dude. I just like soda. You like cherry Pepsi?
01:18:07
Speaker
Yeah, well, cherry Pepsi's are in. I hate all the cherry sodas. Cherry Coke's good. Vanilla Coke is good. Vanilla Coke's good, yeah. Cherry, I can't get down with the cherries. You know, they got a good vanilla Coke. It's friendlies. They make it. They put Coke in a cup and then they put vanilla syrup in it and mix it up. I told you, we're going to get an ice cream while we get in the root of your float. Shit, so fire.
01:18:38
Speaker
Get a nice root beer float or like a soda or a cream soda float. I've seen cream soda. I love those. Got one of my extra. I've got them out in my mud room right now. Warm cream soda. You won't do it. I mean, it's like 10 o'clock at night, so I probably won't, but tomorrow. You got cream soda doesn't have caffeine. You can stay up for any, you know, we're all sometimes it's hilarious. I have that thought where I'm like, I could stay up if I wanted to, to a three in the morning.
01:19:09
Speaker
You could learn adult I just feel like shit the whole next day and I don't have to go to work tomorrow. So I Feel like a drink cream. So you've got a kid though, and that's kind of like work. Yeah, that's very much so It's not work
01:19:32
Speaker
I get that it's different. But like for me, if I'm like, I'm gonna stay up till 3am and then I'm gonna sleep till 11. No one's waiting for me. No one's like, no one needs me. You don't need to. Yeah, you got to put your energy into a kid all the time. It's like working. You're working on your kid. So I'm saying
Media Consumption and Historical Perceptions
01:19:55
Speaker
Yeah. You can't wake up. I love it. You're like, sorry, shut up. I'm fucking tired right now. Took a long app today and I fell asleep watching that new gaudy thing on Netflix. Oh, hell yeah. Woke up like an episode and a half into it. Had no idea what happened. I just read the book on that before they came out with it. So I'm like, ah, it's just going to be like the fucking same thing as I just read.
01:20:23
Speaker
Scotty's boys. Good book guys. Guys got to read that. I'm not reading the book. Okay. All right. I'm reading the five families right now. It's like fucking I'm assuming it's about five families.
01:20:43
Speaker
It's about the entire front to back mafia. Yeah, but it's like probably 1,000 page. I don't know. It's enough where it's like two subway sandwiches stacked on top of each other. Damn. Jared doesn't believe that any of the mafia happened because it's on film. It's in Taiwan. No, because that was back before when you could trust film. Now we have like Unreal Engine and just generate convincing deep fakes. Jared doesn't believe it though.
01:21:13
Speaker
The mafia. I mean, they're definitely overhyped. It's like one of those things like school makes you think that like certain historical events were more important than they actually were at the time because it's like a good story to tell. Like nobody cared about the whiskey rebellion. This doesn't deserve an entire chapter. That's like the mafia.
01:21:37
Speaker
Or it's like, it's just interesting. But most people are like, I don't care what's going on with that. Who cares? Yeah, I like it. I like knowing all the fucking. Yeah, it's like and even up to date, I like the Gambino crime family got a bust like yesterday. Yeah, you do have to admit that it's fucking crazy that in the 1790s, people will come to collect the tax and the people just dump tar on them.
01:22:05
Speaker
Like that's, that's fucking crazy. That is pretty crazy. You could just, well, it's crazy to imagine that that was a job once was to like go door to door and be like, all right, give me your tax and please don't dump tar on me. You got to give me 3% of what you own. And they were like, what? Don't dump, don't dump hot tar on me, please. Like I'm, I walked around your property and I counted,
01:22:34
Speaker
80 chickens. You got to give me a, a vig of that. Yeah. Give me, give me some chicken money. They were like, yo motherfucker, get out of here. No one knows where you are right now. All right. Clem, warm up the fucking warm up the tar bucket. Yeah. Mafia. Shit's cool. I get, I get why. I get why people like it for sure.
01:23:00
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Being on the other side of that is very, very sad sometimes. Being on the mafia side of it? No, on the I mean, on the collection side. Oh, collecting, being like, hey, money from people you fronted stuff to your your son or, you know, your spouse is a terribly degenerate person. He owes me about like five grand. I need that right now.
01:23:29
Speaker
Yeah, that's true. Well, yeah, I guess the like length you have to go to to get people to pay up. Yeah. And it's usually like, you're not gonna, it was always like, I'm not expecting, I'm not going to take their money if they would give it to me. It's more of them being like, damn, I can't believe this person really came to my family's house. Yeah. Then they start, then you just get them on a payment program and then you get paid eventually, but usually takes that.
01:23:58
Speaker
or you tell them you're like burning their fucking family's house down. Yeah, you just got to put a good scare on them. But you have to take a visit first. If you don't visit, it's a fucking another day. Well, yeah, it's like that's like, you know, it's like who's going to who's going to be intimidated by a text message? Yeah, exactly. Everyone. Everyone talks a big game on text messages. When I lived in Boston, one of my roommates at one point was a bookie.
01:24:27
Speaker
and the guy who must have been just like one of the associates shut up at my house one day and he knocks on the door and I answer and he's like, Hey, is so-and-so home? And I'm like, nah, he's out. And he reaches into his jacket and he pulls out this fucking Manila envelope full of cash. And he's like, this is for so-and-so. Uh, and I just want you to know that I know how much money's in it. Oh yes. And I was like, all right, whatever. And he was like, just remember, I know how much money's in that.
01:24:57
Speaker
I'm like, it's fucking dudes trying to scare me. Like I'm going to rob my roommate. What the fuck? Hey, you could rob your roommate, dude. It wouldn't be a problem. I was like, drop, drop the tough guy bit. All right. Just give me the money. No, I actually just said, I'm not going to steal any of it. You can just give me the money.
01:25:22
Speaker
And then he told me one more time, they knew how much money was in it. And I was like, all right, dude, get the fuck out of here. I'm gonna be like, dude, I hope you do. You're, you're clearly paying a debt right now. It'd be weird if you didn't know how much money was in here. You need me to explain how this works to you. He wasn't paying the debt. He was giving the money for the book from whoever was the top of the food chain to pay out for bets. Oh, I see.
01:25:49
Speaker
Oh, I see. Okay, just like some fake fucking Boston mobsters. Yeah. And while much money's in here. I'm like, All right, come on. I mean, I, again, in that case, I would, I would be like, I would assume that you do if you came here with a with a errand back at Manila envelope of cash and no idea how much is in it. This would be a, this would be bad business.
Sneaker Trends and Critiques
01:26:15
Speaker
Jared, what shoes are you getting, dude? What'd you settle on?
01:26:18
Speaker
We'll cross that bridge when we're not talking about that right now. Come on, dude. I bought the high tops. What? The dunks? Yeah. Nice. Where'd you get them from? From StockX. What the fuck, dude? You could have got foam posits. I can still get other shoes, man. That's not like I can only get one pair of shoes. Damn, Angie paid secondary prices on them.
01:26:47
Speaker
They were 100 bucks. Calm down. Should've let the flight club. They were 100 bucks. Calm down. Get your shoes wrapped up in plastic and sent to you. Why'd you buy those, dude? Barely even. Because I wanted them. I don't know. Don't talk shit. I'm not talking shit. I'm asking you questions. I bought them. I don't know. I like them. And they were 100 bucks. That doesn't preclude me from buying another pair. How many pairs of ducks do you have, Paul?
01:27:18
Speaker
I don't have any of them anymore. But in high school, you got sold by a guy. He doesn't even have dunks. He's just setting you up, dude. I was trying to get me to buy the whatever's I got a pair of mids at my parents house. They're the lightning ones. They're like gray with a black check and then a yellow liner and then they have the strap on them. I've got
01:27:45
Speaker
A pair of all whites. I got a pair of all blacks. I got a pair of the Old Spice Dunk ESPs that came out when I was in high school. A pair of the chalk blues. I had a shitload of them, dude. I love dunks. I think they're wicked comfortable. Yeah, see? Yeah, for sure.
01:28:08
Speaker
You just don't like them because you're on the train and like, oh, everybody's got pandas are so played out and gay. Who's trained is who's on? I don't even know what the fuck pandas are. That's who you like. Oh, you're a hype beast, Jared. Oh, you just like fucking dunks because everybody likes dunks. You should get this, this pair of shoes that nobody's ever heard of from the 90s.
01:28:30
Speaker
I don't think I don't think that's it at all. That's exactly how you said it too. Dude, you're just mad. You're fucking ruining podcasts with your keyboard, dude. Oh my God. That's not even true. Everybody's a fucking cheap shot. Everybody's reviewing a podcast and bringing our Apple ratings down. That is true. The Apple ratings are very low.
01:28:57
Speaker
Billy Joel is all here saying Oh my god. Are you denying that your keyboard is loud? Oh, I know it's loud. That's the whole point. You never used a typewriter in your life.
01:29:24
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not ever fucking use the typewriter, dude. I mean, I'm the oldest one here. You know that I have. Oh, God, that's so old. Technically, not a typewriter technically. This isn't going to make sense to anyone before. Yeah, I before. Like computers with printers were a thing we for shoes were a thing.
01:29:52
Speaker
I did like my first ever like typed paper was on a word processor. Did you have to wear those black leather shoes that a cobbler made? Yes. They had two laces on them. Oxford's. What size shoe do you wear, Jared? Nine and a half.
01:30:22
Speaker
Or 10, depending on how I feel. In between nine and a half and 10. What? The price went up on these. They're $113 now, so it sounds like you got a good deal. Resell them, dude. I mean, I think probably because I bought them. You have time to trade them back in. It was like, ooh, there's a demand for these now. Listen, it told me that 96 people were also looking at that shoe, so I better act fast.
01:30:52
Speaker
Here's the ones I had right here. I skated them now. They're worth $666. That's a bummer height beast, dude. Yeah, dude, you stole shoes from 95 other people. Yeah, there's a kid in fucking Taiwan that fucking one of those shoes. Wait, what?
01:31:24
Speaker
It's a bummer. I thrash those shoes and now they're worth sick fucking $700. Yeah, it's how I feel about all the fucking Bitcoin walls. I didn't know where the fuck went when Bitcoin went up past I know 1000 bucks. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. Obama. Thanks a lot. Fucking Ross Oldbridge. Should have bought these ones Jared.
01:31:56
Speaker
There's even a cool story behind this pair. They were Aziz Ansari's dunks. Oh, that would show my feet. No one wants to see that. No, dude, these aren't even they. The Air Force Ones used to have the whole front of them were clear. So here's the thing is that I want to wear shoes. I'm not trying to like wear a statement. Like these are try hard shoes.
01:32:27
Speaker
Oh, they are not try hard shoes, dude. This is a whole story behind them. I get that. But the person who made what does that mean? That pair of shoes. This one that I'm looking at right now, there was only one I've ever made. No, no. Originally, there was a pair of eBay dunks. There was, I think, only one pair made. And I think that probably Sandy Bodecker is the one who designed them.
01:32:55
Speaker
And now they've remade them like this, like they've been cut. Just look up the story. I don't want to have to tell the whole story. Okay. Yeah, figure it out. Just figure it out. Yeah, that's what this podcast is about. Not not having not explaining ourselves. Just bought these actually. This is I don't know how to say this. These are the shoes of a person who wants attention. You should have bought a pair of new balances.
01:33:24
Speaker
I should have bought that pair of babes. I can't. Oh, they got babes down there. Not that I can tell with other shoes. Buy those. Buy those right now. But I cannot tell what are good new balances and what are bad new balances. I don't have an eye for it. Just get the ones that are the most clunkiest ones. Those are the best. Why is there like a little bear on this? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Pause.
01:33:54
Speaker
What the hell? Well, why? What? You don't know about the college dropout. These are like Kanye shoes. Yes, dude. They're after that fucking album. All right. That's like the most iconic pair of babes ever made. That's why they're $10,000. Yeah, dude. Buy it. These are $6,000. Buy two pairs then.
01:34:22
Speaker
Oh, no, I can buy for nine and a half. I can get this for twenty eight hundred. Oh, then just wear just disrespect. I mean, that's what I would do. What are you supposed to not wear? Would people notice because it's like that's actually kind of a funny bit, like if I was like walking around on a rainy day and like stomping and puddles and people notice, they'd be like, those are those are three thousand dollar shoes. You can get the beef and broccoli new balances, dude.
01:34:53
Speaker
I don't even know what that means. I got the, I got a pair of, uh, Larry June's first Lakai's that I haven't worn yet. Still got the ones with the oranges on. Yeah. Yeah. Those were, those are nice. I don't know when to fucking never wear them. Um, those feel like more. It's like a thing that you collected. I liked the fucking Lakai's. I bought them when they first came out and then Larry June dropped those. I was like, I gotta get these.
01:35:18
Speaker
Yeah, that's what I mean. That feels like one where you're just kind of like, I like these shoes. I like this person, but like, Oh, I don't even think they have them anymore. That's like, I don't know that I would have worn those Haritos and unclothes, but I just kind of like them. 250 bucks now. Fuck. I got fucking did not buy them for that much. Jared, you should get those ones that I just linked. They're only $19,000.
01:35:44
Speaker
You can get the size. This is stupid. It looks like a, that looks like a shoe that like the flash would wear. Oh dude. Hey, I get those red octobers. Oh yeah. At least Aiden knows what's up. Why do these exist? What was this like a Kanye West collaboration with Nike or something? This was Kanye West or this is his original shoe. This is his second shoe that he made for Nike.
01:36:11
Speaker
And then Mike, he dropped them. And then he went to Adidas and then he said that he hated Jewish people. And then Adidas dropped them. And then Adidas realized that they needed the money. So they said, we're still going to sell the shoes. But Kanye is not really involved anymore. And then I'm pretty sure they brought him back on. Yeah, I definitely think. I mean, I guess. Yeah, those are nice. Those look kinds.
01:36:53
Speaker
I'm sorry, guys. I'm just not that up to speed on. Yeah, dude, this new bounce looks like. An alien's foot. I'll show you a shoe that looks like an alien for like like. Who makes like the Dragon Ball Z villain?
01:37:17
Speaker
First one, like Frieza, that's like Frieza's foot. And you know, I'm sure I'm talking about looks like you stepped in an alien egg. It's like a fucking croc, but it's not a croc. It's made by Tiva or one of those companies. I think it's Meryl. I think Aiden owns one of those. Oh, yeah, I own those. Hell yeah. Yeah, but those like two years ago, I saw some dude rocking on publics.
01:37:45
Speaker
I like that you were able to pick up when I was putting down Jared by you stepped in an alien egg. Bro, if you, I may not know anything about $19,000 Kanye shoes, but if you want to talk like croc knockoffs, I know everyone that's out there. When I crashed into that bitch's car, I was rocking those. I came out, she was like, oh fuck, I'm dealing with the real blood right here. The thing I'm on right now is the, I don't know if it's Lusso or Lusso, Lusso clouds. I want a pair of those.
Fashion and Status Symbols
01:38:17
Speaker
Oh, I've seen those before. Those are expensive. Those are Rob Dyrdek's company. Yeah, Rob Dyrdek owns that company. The ones I want I think are were sold out, but Lusso and then Malbon, the golf clothes company, did a collab and they had some nice ones. Eric Causton's company and Rob Dyrdek's company collabing.
01:38:45
Speaker
Malbon just looks like all the old school girl gear, which is sick. And, uh, him and, uh, who else was it from girl? They made that company. It's fucking dope. These, but they only have them in a side five. Two skate fucking designers that teamed up. Yeah. Malbon fucking rips it. Yeah. Rob Dyrdek made that company. Good for him. Rocks him all the time. Might be one of my favorite guys of all time.
01:39:15
Speaker
Love Rob Deerduck. He's the man, dude. He's just made one of the best TV shows of all time. Definitely did that. Robin Big. Yeah. I was just watching the clip of Vegas saying that his arms are 22 and that they're as big as a fucking rim. I never understand those measurements whenever they do that.
01:39:43
Speaker
He measures the rim and it's not the size of his arm. But to be fair, Rob did measure the tires. Then he goes to the tailor and the guy's like, you got 22s. I'm just as big as my rims, baby. But is it even really an accomplishment when you also weigh like 500 pounds? He had to go be weighed on the fucking scale at the trash at the dump. Yeah, that was at the recycling plant or whatever.
01:40:12
Speaker
They did him dirty bro. They took him to the recycling plant on the industrial scale. Dude, what about when they go to Tampa? That's like the best episode too. It's like one of the first episodes. Make it rain on the fucking Tampa pro and Tampa ham. And the dude does the naked 360 or whatever they could 720.
01:40:35
Speaker
The craziest thing about that whole show is that they weren't actually friends It was just a bit from a from a skate video and then they made it into a TV show Malbon's mad expensive, bro How I like I mean, I don't golf so very good feels like a pose or move to buy any of it But I like all of it so much. Yeah, maybe I'm gonna start Fuck I can't even like these fucking $125 Malbon Budweiser shorts. Yeah want those
01:41:06
Speaker
Damn, they're doing it right. And then there's another brand that I really like. Another golf brand that I really like. I should just golf so I can wear the good golf clothing. Play around at the club and then you can officially be a golfer. And this one's pretty tight also.
01:41:33
Speaker
Dude this one seems if I could fucking if I still lived up there I definitely rock this which one It's a jacket. Oh, yeah The Sherpa, oh Yeah So here's an ethical question I don't play golf but I work on a golf course so can I wear these clothes? I mean you can You can just do whatever you want
01:42:01
Speaker
I'm not, I'm not a hundred percent being serious in the sense of like, I don't know. Fucking. I just, I admitted to, I admitted to owning a pair of Lakai's and I don't skate and it hasn't happened where somebody was like, Oh, you skate? And I was like, no, I just like these shoes. They're going to ask you what your handicap is. And you're going to be like, uh, uh, I have, I have mild autism and ADHD.
01:42:32
Speaker
Like Oh, I just met what's good. What's a golf handicap? Classic. Maybe I should just get crazy bowling clothing now that I play a candle pin once a week should definitely do that. There's nothing totally is doing that. Start showing up dressed up like a fucking
01:42:57
Speaker
fat Italian from 1975. How is it different from how you dress now? You gotta just show up in the air once bro, the cleanest air ones ever. These are bowling shoes. I'm bowling. But don't freeze them, bro. I get those things that you slide into them. I used to have those I used to iron them bitches too, dude.
01:43:23
Speaker
Put a fucking wet towel over the top of the Air Force Ones and iron them fucking creases out. Damn. Yep. Sorry. That was awesome, dude. That's how you did it. Can't have you get roasted if you had creases in your Air Force Ones. And I know. I just can't get roasted on that, dude. Go shut up. Shut up. I don't have creases in these. Damn.
01:43:53
Speaker
This is weird. I feel like it's more of a status. It's I feel like it's more of a status symbol to be like, I don't give a fuck. No way, dude. Fat Joe used to wear a pair of ones one time and then throw them away, bro. Come on, dude. Yeah, but stay crispy. If you're not doing that, then I think it's more of a status symbol would be like, I don't know. Yeah, I keep my shit clean, dude.
01:44:16
Speaker
They're not like punk rock. You got to be clean. Yeah, punk rock has a piss on their boots or whatever once they buy and make them good. Brand new ironed white. Break them in. Breaking in your Doc Martens was the whole thing. Got a bleed on them. Nope. You got to show up to the function and a brand new fresh out of the package ironed white tea, gas tea, pair of fucking big ass jeans.
01:44:47
Speaker
Preferably, or a pair of Dickies would decrease down the center. And then a pair of all white air ones, brand new. And if they get a stain on them, just throw them away. I used to be a white tea guy. That's all I wore, white teas. And then I slowly transferred over to a black tea guy. Black tea for life.
01:45:13
Speaker
Black tea. Nice to get them at Kirkland. You could get a pack of like six, six crispy white teas. You usually get to my Costco. Mm hmm. Yeah, hell yeah. What did I say Kirkland? You did, but but it was it was a funny callback. It felt like an intentional callback. Cream soda talking. Cream soda down.
Shoutouts and Sign-off
01:45:37
Speaker
All right. Let's give your shout out to you guys. Shout out Belgium.
01:45:42
Speaker
That was my shout-out. You disrespect, they don't want a shout-out from you, dude. I wanted to make up for it. Shout-out Ukraine. Damn, hell yeah. Shout-out Kirkland Whiteties. Shout-out Christopher Dorner. Yeah, hell yeah. Salute our veterans. Salute to our veterans. Happy Veterans Day, y'all.
01:46:36
Speaker
Peace out. Peace out. Peace out guys.
01:46:39
Speaker
Just like a silk, sappin' cuddly of me up like a quilt I'm a lyrical lover, no take meth in a field with my sexual physique John will be well built to me, don't mind, well, well, can't you tell? I'm just like a turtle crawling out on my shell Call your captivate the body, put me under a spell With your couscous perfume, all of your sweet smell You're the only young girl who can ring my bell And I can take rejection, so you tell me go too well I'm bombastic
01:47:09
Speaker
Tell me fantastic, touch me nummy box, she says I miss the road. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
01:47:34
Speaker
baby please let me take you to an island of the sweet cold breeze you don't feel like drive well baby hand me the keys and I will take you to a place and set your mind at ease don't you stick to my foot bottom baby please don't you play with my nose cause I'm a hunching sneeze well you are the one and the me and the cheese and if I'm me I'll derise the baby love you the bees I'm bombasty and they're fantastic that's me not me but she says I miss the road
01:48:01
Speaker
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:48:25
Speaker
girl you're loving girl you're loving girl you're loving girl you're
01:48:33
Speaker
Who do you like to kiss and caress? Crop donk every strand of your pun bitches I'm bombastic, pretty does the desus The desus you should get Nothing more, nothing less Gimme your digits, chat on your address I'll bet you can't fess when you put me to the test I'm bombastic, tell me fantastic Put me on my box, this is a Mr. Row Row, romantic, tell me fantastic Put me on my box, this is a Mr. Boom
01:49:02
Speaker
Mmm, busty, tell me, fantastic Don't you know me, boxy says I'm Mr. Rose Mmm, dick, tell me, fantastic Don't you know me, boxy says I'm Mr. Boom, busty, why Y'all your admiration, it'll eat me from the start With such physical attraction, y'all your notifile Spuck, I'm on a few words Nava till you know sweetheart Naga laba, laba, laba, lana chad pure fad
01:49:27
Speaker
I'll get straight to the point Like a ara, ara dart Homily dong, nami jacuzzi, young kids on bubble bath Only song you will hear is the beating of my heart And we will mmm, mmm, and have some sweet pillow talk I'm bombasty, handi fantasty But when on me boxes is a Mr. Rope Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
01:49:57
Speaker
Smooth.