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We Stand by Panera Lemonade
45 Plays1 year ago
Jared drank 2 cups of Panera Lemonade with codeine
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Transcript
Introduction and Blessings
00:00:03
Speaker
Happy National Prayer Day. Stay prayed up. God bless you.
Legalizing Prostitution Discussion
00:00:26
Speaker
I am very much in favor of legalizing prostitution and other forms of sex work. I thus far in my life, I have never yet employed the services of a prostitute or any other type of sex workers.
00:00:42
Speaker
team-building exercise for work colleagues.
Humor at Work: The Puzzle and Toilet
00:00:46
Speaker
And I said, I like puzzles. And you said, here's a puzzle, dickweed. Why don't you try and get that real crap out of that fake toilet without getting it all over yourself? Yeah, buddy, I never do this. But I can still do that. And I'm cooking turkey to microwave!
00:01:05
Speaker
But like I said, tomorrow go to the store and get a three pound chicken and cook it in your fucking microwave. Season it, make sure you season it and cook it in the microwave and you see what you got. Then you'll know, oh my god, that I'm gonna talk to you ten times worse. I live in a town where there's like no emo girls and no scene girls and it sucks. It's all these basic bitches.
00:01:32
Speaker
This is shit. Look what the fuck she did to the fucking work out there. Motherfucker. Goddamn motherfucker. Stupid. I mean, that's just being a fucking stupid bitch. Give me a fucking toy, please. What?
Microwave Turkey Debate
00:01:50
Speaker
Steph, for the seventh and eighth time, you cannot cook a 25-pound turkey in a microwave oven!
00:02:02
Speaker
So, how do I take a few steps back to go? You ain't got the answers, man. You ain't got the answers. You ain't got the answers. You ain't got the answers. I've been doing this more than you. You ain't got the answers. You ain't got the answers.
00:02:24
Speaker
Fuck! This nigga try to cook a motherfucking, uh, uh, down, down, uh, a fucking sandwich. Sandwich? This pussy a nigga, burn a fucking sandwich. Why the fuck you ain't eatin' cold? The fuck wrong with you? Nigga can't eat a fuckin' sandwich cold.
Parody Podcast Introduction
00:02:53
Speaker
Welcome to Dudes or Us. All of what is said on this podcast is a parody of the show, How It's Made. We hope you enjoy. Please stay safe from Panera's lemonade. It wasn't like that before. Join the Reddit. It's funny, during like the Bush years, he used to, he would post some, um,
00:03:23
Speaker
or not post his show is a lot more palatable to the interdimensional beings to the to the general Yeah, he transferred it to his wife. That's pretty awesome. Smart, smart man.
00:03:45
Speaker
Like he was I don't want to talk about this, but he he He talked about that like what was it the USS Cole or whatever like the Navy ship that got blown up Mediterranean or whatever because of the intercept Israeli communications Controversial, but it's funny that that was like a thing back then and now No one would talk about that
00:04:15
Speaker
Anyway, GTA five new DLC, not DLC, just an update. What's it? The chop shop, chop shop, baby, new business you can play that game in a minute. Yeah, I gotta hop back on there. Not since we did our highest
00:04:44
Speaker
Yeah, dude, we still gotta I got that submarine for nothing Well, it's not for nothing. We just still play the game. Don't you? Um, I haven't in a while. I only I only my pit played it Twice this week for like an hour because I heard about the new uh features You did crash the fucking helicopter like four times Yeah, that's why I stopped playing. Yeah, that's why I stopped playing too I mean, I told you the second time that I didn't want to be the one to pilot the helicopter
00:05:13
Speaker
I was just like, damn, my homie can't fly the helicopter. I'm not playing anymore. Better at flying a helicopter now. I don't even crash. Yeah, so what a submarine you're just going to bring us to the bottom of the ocean and blow this every time. You can blow up a submarine, which is pretty fun. Got to figure out how to make money out of this. Try to make it not look real.
00:05:47
Speaker
Oh, Natalie Linden. John Sharman. Oh, what are you talking about? Just looking through my old emails. Interesting. There's name dropping people on the podcast, Paul. Whoa.
Michelle Wu's Controversial Party
00:06:18
Speaker
Everyone's freaking out because Michelle Wu is having and was having and no whites allowed Christmas party. I saw that stupid fucking rage bait article. Yeah, for sure. It's like those
00:06:41
Speaker
those like focus groups that our company that we all worked at together had where it would be like, Oh, this is like the fucking focus group for black individuals who work for this company. That's what this is. It's just like a, it's just like a fucking party that they have every year for people of color that work in the, that sector of government in Massachusetts. She, she was on the news day being like, this has never been a problem. I'm not understanding why this is a problem.
00:07:15
Speaker
Well, somebody decided to be upset about it. It's all it takes. Little rage bait first thing in the morning. First thing in the morning rage bait. You make your coffee turn on fucking what's that shit called Fox News and practical jokers. Yeah.
00:07:43
Speaker
turn on your Fox News. The first thing that comes to mind is can't believe that these people are having a fucking party without me. I mean, that's for real though. Fear missing out. Nobody wants that. Probably are missing the best party of the year. Probably have the best food at all the government parties.
00:08:04
Speaker
Yeah, and it's like all the cool people, right? Like a, like a only white people Christmas party is what is that? Just like people talking about mayonnaise catered by Arby's. We went to one Aiden and I went to one. Yep. There's a virtual one. Oh my god. That's the worst sounding thing I've ever heard. He was awesome. Hey, happy Christmas, guys. Hey, Merry, Merry holidays, guys. Hey,
00:08:33
Speaker
Hey, can you bring up the chart, uh, that shows the data? Can you see this chart, everybody? We made 10 billion different things this year. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I did the addition wrong. That's actually a hundred different things. Oh, fuck. Turn the chart off. Just turn, just turn the chart off. Chris, Chris, turn the chart off. Just turn it off. Just kidding. The chart never worked.
00:09:01
Speaker
That was so fucking funny. He's trying to show off to the CEO and the guy's like, I think the math's wrong. Oh, wait. Yeah, you might be right. Yeah, I thought 10 billion was kind of high. Oh, fuck, dude. That was so funny. We'll come back and we'll have another meeting once this is once we get this worked out.
00:09:30
Speaker
Since it was all virtual, I got fairly drunk before that. The whole time I'm just sitting there laughing. I think Aiden, I think you turned your fucking camera off because the two of us got laughing so hard. Probably, yeah, dude. Oh, man. That was too funny. Embarrassing moments.
00:10:00
Speaker
Hey, whatever the CEO at the time told me. Congratulations for having a kid in the future. Jesus Christ. People are so bad at just having normal conversations with people. Mm hmm. Hey, have a good, good kid born. Shut the fuck up. I'm not shooting blanks. Hey, hope hope you have a good kid.
00:10:31
Speaker
Thanks, man. Happy holidays. Do that. Remember when we met the new guy and he's like, yeah, Paul going to be on the be on the call because he he had COVID. Oh, my God. Thanks, dude. Thanks for telling everybody. Yeah, he was pretty yucky.
High Interest Rates and Housing Challenges
00:10:57
Speaker
Yeah, Paul, he went out without a mask on and now he has COVID. Just in case you need to know. Let's bring COVID back to get long lines again and everywhere. I mean, there were some things about it that were pretty cool. Cheap gas. I'll take everything guys. Fucking gas is stupid cheap. It was awesome. Interest rates were fucking nice.
00:11:26
Speaker
people were fucking making money on stocks would be nice to be able to get back to like a 1% interest rate on housing well has it ever been like in the like low ones like point nines in the history of the US I'm sure at some point that'd be fucking awesome be good for Jared down again but probably not there
00:11:55
Speaker
Yeah, how do you buy a house right now? It's like 7.8 or some shit. Yeah, you just don't. But then people were like, well, this is actually normal. Like in, you know, whatever, like, 1992, it was actually 17%. They try to swindle you on like that or try to make it make sense. Like, what the fuck? It's actually pretty normal right now. My parents told me when they bought a house, it was like up in the teens at one point. Yeah.
00:12:26
Speaker
But they could also buy a house back then for like... Three Apple gift cards. Yeah, literally. These are like a bushel of apples. Yeah. Four prepaid credit cards from 7-Eleven. That was back when you could get those houses from Sears. You could just go to Sears and buy a house. Yeah, all the people in Montauk.
00:12:55
Speaker
They have that commercial about it. So I bought this house for $30,000 in Montauk. It's worth $3 million now. Not a thing anymore. I need to look this up. Guy that I went I used to work with a Fenway. His dad bought a triple Decker and Dorchester and the
00:13:23
Speaker
70s I guess because he bought it when he came back from Vietnam hot damn and he bought it for 80k oh Shit fucking triple decker in the like middle of the city In Vietnam to right on the beach hmm
00:13:47
Speaker
Vietnam to Dorchester at the time. What a beautiful community. What a beautiful difference. Ben Affleck and his boys running around. What town do you think Ben Affleck's actually from like the middle of Boston? No, it's probably from like Westwood or something. Westwood.
00:14:16
Speaker
Whoever some Westwood is gay. Okay. My bad. I thought you lived in Northwood. Need him. There you go, Jared. What happened to your mic, dude? Now it's back on. Is it good now? Yeah, you sound normal, dude. Hell yeah. I knew there was something wrong with it and you weren't telling me. We were telling you, dude. No, but then you were like, Oh, holy shit. That got real bad. This dude's a phony, dude. He's from Berkeley, California.
00:14:45
Speaker
No way born and raised Berkeley, California. Well, when he was three, he moved to Massachusetts, but still he's a phony. He thinks he's the biggest Boston guy of all times. He grew up in Falmouth. Where's that now? I had to open up the Logitech G app and update some shit, but it worked while we were working, which is crazy.
00:15:11
Speaker
Cambridge duties from Cambridge, bro. Oh, no in Cambridge. He did not grow up in Cambridge. Look it up, dude. And Affleck. Affleck grew up in Cambridge, Massachusetts. We're looking at his Wikipedia right now. He was born in Berkeley. He moved to Mass when he was three. He lived in Falmouth until his brother Casey was born and then they moved to Cambridge. Affleck. Yeah, when you say you were like raised or like you grew up somewhere. His neighbor was Matt Damon in Cambridge.
00:15:41
Speaker
That's pretty fucking awesome. Fucking Cambridge isn't Boston either. Yeah, it is. No, it's not. I mean, it's not, but like, are we really gonna split hairs on that? Is Quincy in Boston? No, Quincy's not Boston either. So where the fuck is Cambridge? Cambridge is on the other side of the Charles River. It's its own thing. That's why it's called Cambridge.
00:16:04
Speaker
Well, Austin and bright in our neighborhoods, Cambridge is its own thing. Brookline annexed itself also has its own police department and its own laws. So its own thing. Yeah, we're not from here. You don't know that. And like you, you know, like Chicago, there's like neighborhoods that people talked about, like they're their own place. But yeah, that's all true. Cambridge has its own police department. Therefore, it's its own thing. Cambridge, Somerville,
00:16:30
Speaker
Charles Town, Quincy, Charles Town. Yeah, that's the one that's where Ben Affleck distinctly not Boston. But like, his dad was a bank robber in Charleston. They're all parts of Boston, right?
Celebrity Boston Origins Debate
00:16:43
Speaker
Boston, Boston proper is what greater about then that's greater Boston, greater Boston. Would you consider Matt Damon being from Boston? No, he's from Berkeley, California. No, that's Ben Affleck.
00:16:57
Speaker
Let's see. I'll look at Matt Damon's thing right now. Oh, Mark Wahlberg from Boston. You have to admit that. Damon, he's not a body. He's from the greater Boston area. Get this town or the city. Born in Cambridge. He's born in Cambridge. All right. What about Mark Wahlberg? He is born and raised in Boston. So yeah, he is a Boston guy. Dorchester. That's a real Bostonian. He's from Toronto.
00:17:29
Speaker
Back when Dorchester was like Scary Well, no in the 70s got scary shortly thereafter that yeah, that's true Fucking guy is the way he is Just rules the man My boy who grew up there whose father bought the triple decker had to drop out of school because he was just getting bullied Yeah
00:17:54
Speaker
Well, was he was the only person of his type in that school? You can just say he's a white person. Yeah, he could say he's the only white person. I don't I don't understand what you guys are talking about. We're not running for mayor or anything. You know, he's the guy with the jeans on. I mean, there's nothing wears a blue hat. Usually, there's nothing that's gonna surprise people about Boston. I like
00:18:20
Speaker
like the like we were like the most opposed city to to integrating schools in the country. No. Yeah, they're like rioted because of the you know, like the busing system and stuff. Come on, dude. We have the best fucking, you know, hospitals and schools in the world. Why do you think we do have the best school?
00:18:50
Speaker
Well, listen, things have changed since then. We would never do that. You can go to any sporting event in Boston and there's totally no racism ever. Well. Here's the thing. Racism at a sporting event. Is that really racism? Is that it's its own thing? Is that what you're trying to say? Is this your hot take for the night?
00:19:18
Speaker
Are you saying it's like outside of the real world, right? Yeah, I'm saying like if you. If you are saying racist things to distract Mookie Betts, or is that racism or is that just being, you know, would you say his name is already racist enough? Mookie Betts. Yeah. Is Mookie his real first name?
00:19:45
Speaker
Or is it like short for? It's Marcus Marcus Lynn, Mookie. So Mookie. What about Mookie Blalock? What do you what who is he racist against himself people? See, there's no consistency here. Mookie Blalock's real first name was Darren. The fuck? Hmm.
00:20:15
Speaker
Yeah, be a man and just name your kid that. Just name your kid Mookie. Yeah, you can't. They probably do now. Are there any other famous Mookie's besides Mookie Betts and Mookie Blalock? Herbie Hancock.
00:20:35
Speaker
I feel like we got off to a rough start on this pod. No, we didn't, dude. All right, let's go back to Ben Affleck. Let's go back to how Alex Jones was cool before before Obama. Should we talk about the Sandy Hook tape that we had? Yeah, you start. Well, you were saying that
00:21:01
Speaker
You were saying Israel did Sandy hug. You were throwing around words. I didn't say that. Just delete it. Just start it over.
00:21:18
Speaker
It's going to be a rush to publish episode. We're going to go. We're going to go back to Ben Affleck.
Panera's Charged Lemonade Warning
00:21:25
Speaker
Let's just talk about the, um, let's talk about the Panera lemonade that kills people. Yeah. Who else kills people? David Duke. Wait, what? I mean, he kills people. Am I wrong? Am I right? Who? David Duke? Yeah. Dark dude. Did he?
00:21:48
Speaker
Did he actually kill anyone? It's in jail for murder. He incited violence against people. I mean, I'm, I'm... Hey guys, I'm not saying any opinions. I'm stating just facts. If you were to Google and the same thing would come up. We're talking about David, the David Dukes who plays for the Delaware blue coats in the NBA G league, right? Uh, David, he's from, uh, he played at Providence college, one of the best province college point guards in the recent years.
00:22:14
Speaker
Well, that's what we're talking about, right? Yeah, he grew up in Providence, played soccer, football and track. He's in the G League. He murdered someone. Can you look up? Did he go to St. Ray's Academy? He went to, let's see, Cushing Academy. Oh, wow. It's Massachusetts. Yeah. What about before that? Did he go to Hendrikan or St. Ray's? Because that's a prep school, I'm pretty sure.
00:22:43
Speaker
Was like for high school? Yes, for high school. No, but before he was in, when he went... He was a freshman at classical. He was a freshman at classical. Ah, wow. That's a great, that's an addition of right in the middle of Providence. All dude school. Classical? No, it's not. No, it's not.
00:23:13
Speaker
colors. That's a good color. All right. That's that's a podcast guys. Thanks for Yeah, dude, the Panera lemonade killed killed another person. Another person to to
00:23:35
Speaker
Two people now from caffeine overdoses death attributed to the lemonade That's bullshit has to be something else. So no, it's definitely I mean, I think it's probably yeah, it's probably caffeine overdosing
00:23:49
Speaker
Well, I don't think you can overdose on caffeine, but caffeine can- Yeah, you can. Look it up, dude. Type it in. You're never gonna get all sweaty from that. Type it in. Type it in right now. I'm not gonna do that. I don't think you can, I don't think you can just purely overdose on caffeine. I think it- Yes, you can. It like causes other stuff. Caffeine intoxication, mild symptoms, headache, fever, nausea, vomiting, tinnitus, tachycardia, anxiety, insomnia, dizziness, irritability.
00:24:18
Speaker
duty you must be on caffeine overload all the time what I mean to say what I mean to say is like can you die from caffeine that's what I want to know it's like you can overdose on like an opiate because it slows your like cardiac muscle amount of caffeine is about 180 milligrams
00:24:38
Speaker
I can't be true. It's on fucking McGill University. That's a hundred and a hundred and eighty milligrams of caffeine is like one. That's it. Yeah. Says it would take 40 cups of coffee. Yeah. It's like three Panera lemonades.
00:24:56
Speaker
When you can see when you consume 100 milligrams of caffeine, it raises your blood caffeine by five milligrams per liter. So Aiden left out the part that it's a milligrams by a liter measurement, not just I don't fucking care about that. I just cared if it can kill you or not. What I sorry, what I'm trying to say is, like, an opiate can literally kill you from overdosing because it slows your heart down so much that you just like it stops pumping enough blood to your brain and you die, allegedly.
00:25:24
Speaker
I think caffeine when you I think people who die of drinking too much caffeine, it's because they had like an undiagnosed heart condition or like stuff like that. It doesn't just like cause your brain to explode. I could be wrong. But either way, how many yerbas does it take to overdose on caffeine? That's a article from McGill University to do those yerbies have like 160 milligrams in them.
00:25:54
Speaker
That's why when you said 180 milligrams is lethal, I was like, I... Listen, I don't understand how these people are dying because I know some guys who would drink multiple 20 ounce Red Bull cans. That's the big boy one, right? Yeah. And then they would take fucking two or three Adderalls.
00:26:16
Speaker
And they're still alive. So the reason, so the reason the charged lemonade was killing has killed two people is because. Well, one, it used to just be out, like out at the beverage station with like the tea and everything. So you didn't, if you weren't like carefully reading the signs, you didn't necessarily know you were drinking something caffeinated. They didn't like do a good job of telling you that the lemonade was caffeinated, like just calling it charged lemonade.
00:26:47
Speaker
doesn't really tell you that there's caffeine in it. And most people wouldn't assume that lemonade has caffeine in it. But they put it into it, right? Yeah, they put it into it. But then a 20 ounce a 20 ounce serving of the charged lemonade. So like a bottle of soda amount had 400 milligrams of caffeine. Oh my god. And like, oh my god, that's you can definitely imagine yourself like on coke.
00:27:16
Speaker
Yeah, you're for sure just fucking wired, but you can definitely imagine yourself at a Panera and you like. Fill up a, you know, 20 ounce cup with that, eat, drink it during your meal. And then before you leave, you fill it up again.
Dangers of Caffeine Overdose
00:27:31
Speaker
So the people who who've died drank like four cups of it in a day, not realizing it was caffeinated.
00:27:40
Speaker
So yeah, I would agree that probably didn't realize that she was caffeinated after you felt terrible after drinking it. Yeah, that is true. Let's see how much caffeine. Oh, man. 347 milligrams of caffeine. No way. That's kind of crazy, though, because that much is in a double espresso. Can you look that up?
00:28:09
Speaker
from where just just average I just was going to depend on the beans drink three cups of coffee to double espresses probably like around 100. Oh, that's awesome. A double shot would likely be anywhere between 60 and 100 milligrams. I had one right before the podcast. I'm fucking almost dead.
00:28:34
Speaker
I get wired on those I drink a Dunkin large Dunkin cold brew. Cold brew I don't even touch those things fucked me up severely like when I try whenever I tried them like three years ago. That's like the only way I drink coffee. Jesus. Ask Jared he said the old in the morning. He has a lot different to me actually missed that I'm not gonna lie. Of course it tastes different. It's the one you make it cold it extracts in a different way. So it's not as bitter.
00:29:02
Speaker
tastes like chocolaty almost mm hmm yeah you miss me coming in I'll fucking jack the hell on caffeine armpits sweating from caffeine
00:29:13
Speaker
And just like really wanting to talk for like the first 90 minutes of the day. And then being just fucked up for the rest of the day. Damn. How many Yerbas takes about two Yerbas a week to become gay? That's right. For the first 30 minutes of the day, I would just want to shut up and then I'd go across the other side of the street.
00:29:41
Speaker
smoke a bunch of weed and then I'd come back and just set my head down on my desk. Yeah. No one drinks Yerba's in here, right? Nope. I was a classic desk sleeper. Fucking fell asleep at my desk with my feet up on it so many times.
00:30:05
Speaker
It's a fucking wonder I made it as long as I did. See all the people out there right now sleeping at their job. We love you. I love you. This is for you. It's okay to sleep at your job. It's basically expected of you. All you people drinking two yearbies a day to get through it. You're gay. You're not really gay. You're clinically gay.
00:30:35
Speaker
Sorry, McGill University. Put it out first, guys. Sorry. I'm just reading off the facts. McGill, Canadian University. Like we're going to listen to them. That's so funny. As soon as you cross the Canadian border, you just get a stamp on your head. I'm gay.
00:31:03
Speaker
Oh, do you think your ancestors from upper New York had to fight off Canadians at some point to regain their land? Well, part of my family came from Canada, so they actually took the land. Oh, nice, dude. Thank God. Yeah, that's what they fucking get, dude. They take that land, bring it back to America. That's how my Mexican ancestors became American.
00:31:31
Speaker
I like that. They were just living on the land they had always lived on. And then the United States took the land north of the Rio Grande and they just... That's where they lived. 8% mortgage in total. You're in the US now. That's the way to do it. Don't even have to cross the border. They just moved the border to the other side of you.
00:32:03
Speaker
Oh, sweet. Guadalupe Hidalgo. Just seems like it would be fucking terrible to live in like the 1890s. Oh, yeah. What? Just like, you know what I'll do today? I think I'll
00:32:32
Speaker
I think I'll try going outside and then you just get zapped by an arrow or something. Oh, yeah, God. Well, that wasn't worth it. You're shitting in the fucking streets every day. Oh, that's the craziest part is that these just fucking shit in a bucket and throw it out the window and it was somebody's job to just go by and clean the shit out of the street. It'd be like Tommy Shelby, though, dude.
00:33:01
Speaker
You'd be like the guy that invented gambling Yeah, that's fair That would be kind of dank Alex jones invented gambling Yeah, that's what I heard Paul give us a recap on your epic bowling night.
Bowling Night Experiences
00:33:23
Speaker
Oh, yeah That was fucking crazy dude, what was your what was uh
00:33:29
Speaker
your prep before going in? Like, what was your pre meal? Nothing. I don't need usually before I go. You're locked in. Locked in. Yeah, it just is at like Dave Chappelle before he goes on stage. Bowling starts at six. And I have to leave here around like 530 to get there. So I usually don't eat. I don't know, man, I just got up there and got in a groove. Usually I slam at least one beer right when I get there.
00:34:00
Speaker
I found that, you know, in anything that takes like, like being calm, if I drink a beer, I'm better at it. Can add mowing into that, like some of the best mowing I've ever done on the golf course, I was half in the bag. Oh, yeah, dude, there's like, if you can find the sweet spot,
00:34:22
Speaker
like my best like pool is played when I'm like just you find you hit that spot where you've like loosened up but you're not like fucked up cruising altitude yeah dude
00:34:36
Speaker
only I knew how to if I only I knew how to get there and didn't always just end up there accidentally. Well, my problem was I was doing great until the very last string I went like 98 8565 because on the last string I was like the beer was taken home. Yeah, you overdid it. I know.
00:35:01
Speaker
Always a fleeting superpower. I started talking to people. Well, I apologize to the one guy because a week, two weeks ago, I might have told you guys this. I was pretty stoned at bowling and the dude have was he I bowled against him when I bowled to 25. So I thought he was just being nice because I've gotten better. I think that week I bowled like 375 or something. And he was like, hey, man, good game.
00:35:31
Speaker
And I looked him in the eye and I said, thank you. But all he really meant was like being a good sports, like good game. Like then I realized everybody was saying it to each other, but I had just saying thank you to him. Thank you. Legit looked at me right in the eye and I just got off. Thanks. So I talked to him. I was like, dude, my bad. Sorry. I said, thank you.
00:35:57
Speaker
And then he went to shake my hand and I went, you fucking idiot. You think I'd say fucking sorry to you, dude. Fucking old guy. And you pissed on his shoes. This week, dude, Rob Rob was there again. I saw him and his boys. No way. No way. I checked on all the other leagues. There's this dude in the other league and it really this actually might have been why I lost my vibe. I'm watching this guy bowl.
00:36:27
Speaker
And every time he goes in to throw a shot, he's like taking three steps from the start line, and then maybe like a step out from the foul line, he's getting down on one knee and sliding. What? Oh, yeah. Crazy technique, dude. I'm watching him do it, and I'm like, how the fuck is this guy even doing this? Is this on Rob Rob's crew? Same league as Rob Rob, but not on his crew. Damn, I can't believe he's not calling out like some crazy rule on that.
00:36:59
Speaker
I almost said to Rob, Rob, you should listen to our podcast. I talk about you. Dude. Is he inside? But dude, that he's like, what the fuck's a podcast? No, dude. I heard him one time talking. I think I said this. He was talking to the guys at the bar who are like a ton of weed at my house. A ton of weed at my house. Yeah, not creepy at all. Definitely a weirdo, yeah. Not super weird. I got a ton of weed. We could smoke it in my shed.
00:37:30
Speaker
I got a car. Oh, yeah. I got a car. I got a shed. I got a ton of fucking weed. We could definitely smoke weed together. Be cool. I'm not like 48 and you guys are 17. Just listening to bowl. You think is a is a Spotify rap is just bowling noises of pins in the fucking dust. It's like the scene in the Big Lebowski where he puts on the tape and it's just fucking bowling noise. Yeah.
00:38:01
Speaker
Yes, I do think that it's crazy when he's out when he's out of the game, right? Probably his name is Rob Rob. Rob Rob. That's a self imposed nickname. That's crazy. Everybody calls him that right? I guess I don't know. It's crazy that that would be the nickname that you pick. It's fucking brilliant, dude.
00:38:31
Speaker
I just say everything twice. I'm Rob Rob. Yeah, I don't know, man. I was pissed, though, because the guys in my league, they said if I break 100, they'll all kick in so I can buy this fucking 50 cc motor scooter thing. A little mini bike, right? Yeah. And I bowled in 98. You know how heartbreaking that was? Oh, man. Dude, how much are those things? Like 700 bucks. Not bad.
00:39:00
Speaker
I'll get one of those with you. I wasn't even fucking, I wasn't even happy. I was just like, I bowled it and I hit like four or five spares in a row, including my last frame. And I bowl the last frame, I bowl my last fill. And I'm like, all right, that was sick. That's gotta be 100. I look up and it's 98. And I'm like, God fucking damn it. Just pissed that I bowled the best I've ever bowled, where they all like getting this guy's change.
00:39:29
Speaker
Uh, the dudes are bowling against the one guy's like, Oh man, I see you figured it out. That sucks. So everybody knew that they were just fuck us up. Cause I sucked and now sandbagging playing the long con. I'm like, yeah, that was just a joke. I was actually always good. Just thought it'd be funny. Yeah. I had two Yerba Mathes before I came here. I'm on fire. Wicked gay right now. I can't, I'm nothing else can, I'm in my element right now.
00:40:05
Speaker
You think we could get a chicken burger on the podcast? Chicken burger. Probably good chicken burger. Probably. I don't even understand I get served those things up all the time. Get chicken burgers. No. I get those type of creators. Because it's the best.
00:40:34
Speaker
You're welcome, dude. I put you on. It was even before that. It wasn't specifically a chicken burger guy, but it was like just many, many types of people. Just guys with like no fucking arms. Lieutenant Dan types. Oh my God. Chicken burger.
00:41:03
Speaker
We need to get all three of them on. Jared, could you reach out to some, uh, connects in the industry? Yeah. I'll, uh, I'll put some feelers out. Try to get his agent's name. Yeah. Give me a, give me a day or two. We can do numbers if we did that. Oh my God. Yeah. We need to get a guest on here.
00:41:36
Speaker
It's fucking I mean, how would you even title that one? I think he titled a chicken burger. Yeah, you have to, right? I think there's some things we can title it, but I don't think I can say them. There's no going back now.
00:41:59
Speaker
through 13 Reddit members. We're just, we're about to take off. So we are honestly about to take off. If you're on the Reddit, you should join the discord. Don't really post that much. Oh my God. Kind of gave up on a discord because the one person starts making fun of me.
00:42:22
Speaker
I know you would do this because you do stupid stuff all the time. I know I've only listened to one episode of the podcast, but I know you do. Join, join my other discord. I told him to fucking plug us in on that one. Maybe that's where the Reddit members are coming from. No. Jared's enemy. Yeah. Jared's arch nemesis.
00:42:53
Speaker
He got you good, too. He did get you to eat a fucking crazy. Oh, my God. Get me to I. That was an open offer to the first person to join the discord. What was it again that you ate? It was a fucking Taco Bell taco with every topping you can order. Oh, my God. Fuck. What the fuck, dude? What happened?
00:43:21
Speaker
Gotta put it in the Discord. I ordered a taco, and then I ordered everything. And then they gave it all on the side, right? Yeah, because she was like, it's too much to put in a taco. Can I just put it in two different, like, the nachos del grande trays they make. So then I had to assemble it myself. The steak is too sloppy. Yeah.
00:43:46
Speaker
We actually can't make this. That was the worst I've ever felt about myself though. Not because I ate that, but you see those videos on TikTok now of people being like rude to drive through people like for clout, basically being like, Oh, I didn't want that. Can you make a new thing just like inconveniencing them? What? That's a I'm glad I don't have TikTok.
00:44:12
Speaker
That's like a whole genre of thing where people just be assholes to food service workers. And then they'll post like a, you never played in that battle. Customer service is dead, I guess, but it'll be some like some fucking Karen who, who's, who goes up and she's like watching them make her drink. And she's like, Oh, I don't want that in it. And they're like, okay, but you ordered it this way. And she's like, well, I changed my mind.
00:44:37
Speaker
And they're like, okay, well, you got to go pay for a new drink. Then like, you ordered this. It's not like we made it wrong. You just changed your mind. That's different from. And she's like, I'm not paying for anything new. Just make the drink I want. And they're like, okay, well, it's more expensive. So you got to pay the difference. And she's like, that's not my problem. Just like people being assholes for no reason. Um,
00:44:59
Speaker
And it drives me insane as somebody who used to work in customer service. And that was a moment where I was like, shit, I failed. Like I allowed. Not necessarily a desire for Internet cloud, but I allowed like peer pressure, dude. Yeah, your pressure. My desire for Discord followers to influence me to be kind of an asshole to the people that were to talk about.
00:45:22
Speaker
Uh, you weren't an asshole. All they had to do was just put all the shit into another game. I mean, if I think back on it also, I'm like, I spent $34. Oh my God. So that more than made up for the fact that they had to put a whole bunch of things in a bowl. Like I wasn't an asshole. I was just, it was just an obnoxious order to have to fulfill. And I was very like grateful and stuff, but I still feel bad. I don't know why.
McDonald's Comeback Commentary
00:45:44
Speaker
I did have some fire McDonald's last night for the pod.
00:45:50
Speaker
Nice. McDouble is large and in charge. I'll tell you that it came roaring back in 2023. I do like McDouble. McDouble superior. Can't tell me otherwise. Do you ever think about like all the people who were named Karen before that became the fucking? Yeah,
00:46:20
Speaker
shittiest name ever. Yeah, I kind of ruined it, huh? Oh, Jared, I got something for you. Yeah, let's hear it. Drink a large charged lemonade. I drank one today. Oh, really? Yeah, on my way back from Franklin. I know. I was gonna do I was gonna try to do a meme and thank everyone who followed and then I just kind of finished drinking it on the drive home and was like, Oh, well, I guess I can't do that.
00:46:51
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like when I drink that much caffeine, it just makes me piss all out. I didn't get a 20 ounce one. I got like the small one because I was being a pussy. Did they call you a baby when he ordered it? Yeah. Oh, the little baby just wants a small one. No, but they do. So they're policy with that. I got the mango usual citrus one, by the way, if anyone's thinking about getting there. There's blood orange flavor, strawberry, mint,
00:47:21
Speaker
And then mango yuzu. And I would say in order of goodness, mango yuzu is the best, followed by strawberry mint. You got to be in the mood for strawberry mint, but it's really good. What's a yuzu? Yuzu is just like a kind of lemon. It's like a Japanese lemon. You guys know how I think I'm Asian. Does it taste like lemon? It tastes like lemon.
00:47:49
Speaker
tastes like a lemon that like, um, tastes like a lemon that also is flowers. Okay. Does it kiss you back? Yeah. Um, those are the flavors. You ever just ride around in your car and you play that song? I think I'm turning Japanese. Yes.
00:48:22
Speaker
Oh, man. I think I should you should hang out with my friend who has the samurai sword. You guys have that in common. What do we think we're? You guys like Asian influence. He really likes Saki and shit like that. Saki is great. I mean, it's nothing compared to a model. But like all all wine is like the worst kind of alcohol. But Saki is good. I don't mind a Saki.
00:48:54
Speaker
I respect that you're a fan of Asian culture, but you don't let it get in the way of your Mexican heritage. Yeah, I mean, yeah, sushi is good. We can all agree on sushi is fucking trash. Jared, what about when you like when you were walking around and you're like, putting both of your hands like on the side of your eyes and pulling them back? Oh, my God.
00:49:32
Speaker
I didn't know where you're going with that. That was a good one. Crashing your car and everything too. What do you mean like Tokyo drifting? Just being a bad driver in general I think is what he's saying. Ride sharing and crashing your car and stuff. So any comment on that?
00:50:01
Speaker
Um, no comment. That might've been the best bit they ever did for family guy where he has the Asian woman driving and she's like, uh, I think the setup for it is like, this is more dangerous than an Asian woman turning or something. Close my eyes. I turn now. Good luck everybody. What do you think about that? Which one?
00:50:31
Speaker
family guy bit. Oh, dude, that one was good. They did it on modern family to which I was surprised by but there was like a there was like an episode that was trying to deal with Asian stereotypes in some way and they had like, I think it was like a teacher or something who came to the house. Jesus Christ. And then when she was leaving the house, she like backed into their mailbox. She was like, it came out of nowhere. I was like, Wow, okay.
00:50:58
Speaker
not see that from modern family. Well, don't they have the episode where they're like, everybody's mishearing the things they're saying?
00:51:09
Speaker
Oh, God. So Al Bundy's Al Bundy's character takes Manny to go get some sort of license. And it's the same day that all the gay people can get married. So they're in line and Al Bundy's character is talking. Manny's like, I don't think I'm old enough for this. And he's like, well, you came all the way down here. We're doing it. And all the gay people in line turn around. They look at him like, what the fuck is going on right now? That's hysterical.
00:51:39
Speaker
then the gay couple that has like the little Asian daughter, they're in like a restaurant and he's yelling at them that she needs to like go back to her own people or something or needs to learn about her own people's culture. Yep. I think I did see that one. Oh man. I fucking shit raise him lying and he's like, I got my ass down here. You were getting that license. Oh man.
00:52:09
Speaker
classic. That's a funny ass TV show dude for just like a run of the mill sitcom. Yeah, I don't remember or I didn't really see the like later seasons of it when they were like all kind of grown up but it was definitely at least the like first I don't know four or five that I saw what was funny. Maybe even more than that. I don't really remember how many seasons it ran for probably like 12 or some shit. They had no idea.
00:52:44
Speaker
about married with children. Now there's a good TV show. I thought that's when you guys were referring to know married with children is from like what the 90s right 90s. Yeah. It's the shoe salesman. Yeah.
00:53:12
Speaker
drives a hard bargain and a rusty Dodge. charity got to give us a roommate update. Jared still alive. Yeah, that's important. Peking right now. That's great. I don't know that I have anything like super new. Okay. In terms of like what's his go to dinner. Oh, okay. There's one.
00:53:45
Speaker
So he's a he's a big he's a big fan of just like Well, I've told you this that he'll do the thing where he just makes like One big dinner and then portions it out for like the next four days That's like he'll just eat the same like pasta leftovers for every meal for four days or whatever But he's big into um
Roommate's Food Habits
00:54:09
Speaker
like whatever like that version of eating but like you can get you know the Costco box it's like 20 bags of microwavable noodles and he'll just get one of those and then go through that for 20 days and then find something else so it's like not the same thing every time but it'll be like two weeks of noodles then it'll be like two weeks of dumplings and then it'll be like
00:54:37
Speaker
two weeks of like weird chicken. Nice. What does weird chicken mean though? Like there was one that was like, it was like chicken inside of, like it was like frozen stuffed peppers, chicken and rice stuffed peppers. He was just making stuffed peppers. That's so weird. Over a week, it was super weird. It was wild.
00:55:05
Speaker
chicken court on blue every night just cutting it into different pieces. Yeah, basically, like you're not far off. But no, the other night he just
00:55:16
Speaker
he was making his microwave noodles at night and then forgot or like wrapped up in a online game or something and I was like he was like late it was like 11 pm or something and then I could hear the microwave chirping from my room and it just like wasn't stopping I was like okay he's not gonna
00:55:37
Speaker
Go get that food. So I just threw it away. No way. It was literally like 40 minutes. He forgot that it was there. And I was like, stinky noodles stinking at my microwave. You should have just went back and kept turning the microwave back on. That's true. He would have figured it out eventually when it caught on fire in there. You should have just texted him and been like, Yo, microwave, come on. That's actually not a bad idea. I didn't think about that.
00:56:06
Speaker
Get your noodles, dickhead. Yeah. Get your noodles, noodle. I mean, at the point at which I had to get up to stop the microwave from chirping, I was just annoyed enough that I was like, fuck this. Fuck your noodles. You know. I think I might already told us, speaking of things in the microwave,
00:56:30
Speaker
I in college, we had like those like shared kitchens on our dorm floors. And I would sit in there and hang out sometimes. And fucking people who are wicked stone would come in and put their microwave popcorn in and then walk out and I just turn it back on.
00:56:50
Speaker
Oh, that's so mean. The bag would just get wicked burnt and then they would come in and be like, Oh no, dude, I fucking put it in for too long. And they open up like billow out smoke. Dude, and they're like, they're like, shit, I'm not supposed to put it in for two minutes. Hell yeah. I mean, this is too long. And the next time they're like, I'll put it in for a minute and then it's like not popping up. It doesn't pop at all. That's actually like a really funny bit, but brutal because like,
00:57:21
Speaker
Dude I did that shit all the time so like so many times And you're expecting that popcorn it's just
00:57:34
Speaker
just the look of the look of pure disappointment when people come back in and be like, fuck, dude, the fucking microwaves basically on fire. Yeah, dude. Oh, man, they'd come in, I'd be like, dude, fucking put that shit in for way too long. Like, why didn't you stop it, man? Actually, I restarted it.
00:58:02
Speaker
That's like how I used to piss in the washing machines. Did you guys know there's a hangover three? Is that true? Yeah, it was on before the pod.
Hangover 3 and Ken Jeong's Role
00:58:24
Speaker
Is Ken Jeong in it? Oh yeah, he's like the main plot in it. So it's terrible.
00:58:32
Speaker
he was kind of the worst part. Yeah. The first one I was like, all right, that was like his big splash. And then that just was like, all right, this dude sucks. He's a real life doctor. Did you know that? Oh, yeah. And the United States. What? In the United States. No, and like hochi man. Yeah. Then he became an actor.
00:59:01
Speaker
Yeah You can do that You can do that joke. That's like i'm not a doctor. I just play one on television, but he's really a doctor I'm not a doctor. I'm howie mandel. Oh gee man city You gotta uh Order some pizza after this jared bro. I had pizza. I got pizza on the way home from
00:59:27
Speaker
I only got a charged lemonade from Panera and then I went to Islington pizza and got pizza. Shout out Islington pizza. Actually the best pizza. Give it a shout out. Shout out Islington pizza. What's your go to order? Um, I'll get a small cheese and a small pepperoni and I'll eat both of them. Nice. Piece of shit.
00:59:55
Speaker
Sauce isn't too bad green pepper pizza. That shit's good, too I have trouble with green pepper on pizza. It's not the worst thing in the world, but What about tomato sauce on pizza is that a problem no It's important to me that it's there actually Oh shit I got a ranch and I forgot to eat any of my pizza with ranch Paid for the extra ranch
01:00:25
Speaker
That's okay. Usually blue cheese. I never really go ranch. Kind of like the ranch better on pizza. I like the blue cheese better on anything else like wings, salad, whatever. It's better. But Paul, what do you like on pizza? How do you mean if you dip it in the blue cheese or ranch, which one?
01:00:52
Speaker
I probably like it dipped in blue cheese better. Nice. Guys, what do you think of these these like vans winter boots?
Vans Winter Boots Debate
01:01:08
Speaker
I don't know. Are they bad? I can't tell if they're bad or not. Got an ass cafe on that territory. He'll just tell you they're good. Yeah.
01:01:21
Speaker
$210. There's a lot for winter boots and the cortex. Yeah. Yeah, these are probably nice. Don't tell if I hate them or not. You got to tuck your tuck your jeans into the top of them. You got to keep your keep your feet dry. Otherwise, the snow gets up and over. If I personally was going to get them, I get the white ones. Now, Jared, you got to grab these. The cortex.
01:01:52
Speaker
Oh my god. Oh my god, dude. Chicken burger would wear those. Oh my god. How do they even make these? Grab the Nike boots, bro. Who are these for? Dude, you never had a pair of Nike boots? Dude, those fucking things look like the shoes that you would wear back in the day to make you jump higher.
01:02:19
Speaker
See, you know what I'm talking about the shoes. I like the weird type form on them that were supposed to teach you how to jump. Or the guy in the video who's like modeling these is like devastated that he's recorded wearing these shoes. Actually, I would never wear these. Nike boots are one on one bro. No, no, no, no, no. Get some Nike boots. I don't think I could wear these. Come on, dude.
01:02:53
Speaker
I think only lesbians can wear these. Just directing traffic and Nike boots. Dude, everybody's got to go watch 103 fever on YouTube.
01:03:24
Speaker
Pawns aren't as bad, but let's get Tim's. Which ones? Wait, what? 103 degree fever on YouTube. Nike boots. I'll listen to it. Yeah. While a dude. While a 2009.
01:04:04
Speaker
I don't know. Pops, what winter boots do you have? Military boots. No, I've got bean boots. Sorry, I was having trouble getting that. I kind of just want to get those.
01:04:30
Speaker
Not a terrible idea. Yeah, I have bean boots and I have. Just like regular. I don't know, fucking regular. Just sorry, regular Gore-Tex work boots that I wear. Hmm.
01:04:58
Speaker
But usually I just wear bean boots or extra tufts, but extra tufts probably aren't warm enough unless you wear a good pair of socks under them. Yeah. I need, I need cold weather. It's a recommendation on a good pair of socks, pops. Um, I mean, I just wear the ones from Costco. Then once I wear through them, I just throw them away and get a new pair. Are they wool socks? They are a blend.
01:05:30
Speaker
a wool blend. It's like Reno and fucking. I don't polyester or whatever cheap shit they can make them out of, because you can get like 16 of them for five bucks or something. If I if I was going to buy like all new socks, I'd probably get if I wanted like heavy wool socks, I'd get darn toughs. And if I was just going to get
01:05:57
Speaker
Like, just good socks that get bombas. Okay. Fucking love bomba socks. We need them to sponsor us. Bombas breakfast.
01:06:28
Speaker
man okay i don't know what i i don't know probably bomb us bosh shits are expensive though all right suck on that
01:06:52
Speaker
He had it. Wrap it up. Wrap, wrap the show up guys. Shout out Nike boots. I thought it was LinkedIn pizza. Shout out fucking bean boots. Just get a pair of those Jared. Yeah, that's true. All right. Thanks for the episode. Join the Reddit everybody. Peace out.
01:07:18
Speaker
That's the end of the episode. Please review us on Spotify and iTunes. Subscribe and join our Reddit community. We love you.