Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Your Parents Aren't The Problem (The Truth About Healing Mama Trauma + How I Did It Without Losing Myself) image

Your Parents Aren't The Problem (The Truth About Healing Mama Trauma + How I Did It Without Losing Myself)

E5 · She's Next Level
Avatar
28 Plays1 month ago

You've been working on healing your relationship with your parents, especially your mom. A lot of our relationship dynamics play out from our mother wounds. I've done a lot of inner work around this, and i share two main foundational ways that helped me start the process 2 years ago. If you're ready to FINALLY shift your relationship with your parents, this episodes for you. 

Let's connect ;)

Watch on Youtube: @itsdarshna

Follow + connect with me on Instagram: @darshvibess 

Tiktok: @itsdarshna

Have feedback + topic requests? Email me: nextleveldarsh@gmail.com

Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
Today's episode is going to be deep. We are getting into mama trauma and if you are ready to become BFFs with your mom again, then keep on listening. Hello everybody and welcome back to the She's Next Level podcast.
00:00:17
Speaker
Today is going to be so much fun because we are going to talk about mama trauma. We're going to talk about everything to do with healing your relationship with your parents.
00:00:28
Speaker
This ah topic was inspired from ah story that I posted on my Instagram. It was around ah a comment that my mom made to me and I was just like feeling really proud of myself in the way that i reacted and the way that I responded even in my body.
00:00:44
Speaker
that i was like, we need to talk about this. Because I know that I'm not the only one that has struggled with my relationship with my parents, especially if you have Asian parents. have my notes here because I wanna make sure that we cover everything in here because there's a lot that I have to say about this.
00:01:03
Speaker
And I didn't wanna create like a part one, part two, like I just wanna fit it all into this episode for you so it's just easy and it's applicable. But before we do get started,
00:01:14
Speaker
Please make sure that you are subscribed to this podcast episode because I don't want you to miss out on any new episodes that I drop each week. And also, if you're not following me on Instagram, then be sure to follow your girl at Darsh Vibes. And it is D-A-R-S-H-V-I-B.
00:01:32
Speaker
e s s So it's like a double S because I am the most active there. So be sure to follow and connect with me on there. But I know that if you have struggled with your relationship with your parents and you want to improve that relationship, you want to feel more connected with your parents, then You need to keep on listening because I got some gems for you.
00:01:53
Speaker
So what had happened was last week, I was wearing my silky pajamas and they're not really booty shorts, but they're shorts like right underneath my booty. So like technically not really booty shorts, but I was walking to the kitchen and before my mom even said hi to me, the first thing that she said to me was,
00:02:14
Speaker
that outfit is a little too out there. Like, that's not really appropriate. Like, what are you wearing? Like, you shouldn't wear that. And it was just so funny because you always want to pay attention to the way you react instantly. And for me, i was just like, oh, that's so cute. Like, I literally was not triggered at all. Like, my body was fine. Like, I still felt in the good mood that I was in.
00:02:38
Speaker
um and I just really was just in awe. And I was like, oh, you're so cute that you think that. And then... She made another comment about another time where I wore something inappropriate in her eyes, and especially when we had guests over, and she just did not like that.
00:02:53
Speaker
And it was funny because I still didn't feel anything. I was just like, oh, that's cute. Like, I didn't make it mean anything about me. I didn't react at all. I was just like, oh, that's cute. Like, thank you for the feedback, but...
00:03:06
Speaker
I personally don't feel that way. So I didn't say that, but I was thinking that and i was just like, oh, you're cute. I love you. I still love you, mom. And I share that on my Instagram stories and I got so much feedback and response that you guys wanted to like know more about how I've been able to do this and, you know, just seeing everybody.
00:03:27
Speaker
and just like being like, I wish I could feel this way with my mom. Like I wish I wouldn't get so triggered when my parents make comments like that or whatever your triggers may be with your parents. And so that's what inspired this podcast episode. And it has been a journey.
00:03:42
Speaker
Okay, I personally never thought that I would be here sharing this with you guys, because it's something that I've kept personal for me. And it's been a lifelong thing that I've been working on. um But since like recently, I've really been feeling the shifts.
00:03:58
Speaker
What really changed a lot for me is what I'm going to be sharing in this episode for you, especially around like the main core things that you guys can start with to help you guys start to shift that way faster than I ever did, which would be such a blessing for me.
00:04:15
Speaker
So growing up, I have a older brother and a sister. So I was the baby of the family. And as you know, the babies always get free reign and they get to do whatever they want.
00:04:26
Speaker
But as with that comes all the other stuff too. So for me specifically growing up, I remember my mom would make comments about me a lot.
00:04:37
Speaker
Like I remember one time we were at the flea market in California And I remember someone giving me a compliment and they I don't know what they were complimenting me about. i think it was like something I was like, I looked like or what I was wearing.
00:04:52
Speaker
But immediately I remember her saying, whatever, like you ain't all that. You think you're all that, you know, like kind of making it sound like it's not a big deal. Receiving compliments is not a big deal. Like she would make little comments to me that would not make me feel the most confident.
00:05:08
Speaker
Another thing that she would comment on is the clothes that I would wear. So for me as a teenager, I used to experiment a lot with the type of clothing that I would wear. So obviously my mom didn't approve of everything I wore because I would, you know, change up my style a lot and I would wear clothes that are more westernized and like showing my skin more.
00:05:30
Speaker
And, you know, as a teenager, like you're just you're in experimenting mode. Like you're literally figuring out who you are, what your style is. You're just trying to like, you know, do your thing.
00:05:41
Speaker
And so i remember she would just make it sound like I'm being slutty or like make me feel shameful about it. Like that was a big thing of like, aren't you ashamed of wearing that? Like, why are you wearing that? Why are you like showing so much skin?
00:05:56
Speaker
um Which was like annoying at that time, but I still did what I wanted to do. But you know, those things never like leave like your parents telling you that as a kid. Another thing was her mood.
00:06:08
Speaker
So it was very inconsistent. When she was in a great mood, then all was great and I would receive the best of her. But when she wasn't in a good mood, then I would feel like she would be rejecting of me, disapproving of me. I just didn't really feel accepted for who I was.
00:06:25
Speaker
And I expressed myself fully as a kid. And I always wanted to be accepted for being who I was. And I never really related with the whole culture, um Indian culture, like all of the things that they did. I've always questioned it as a kid and I never really fully understood it and related with it.
00:06:45
Speaker
And they would just judge that because I wasn't doing the things they wanted me to do. I just wasn't more like them. I was just like a black sheep. And that's why I didn't really feel like I could go to her to talk to her about any of the girl things or literally anything. Like I didn't feel like I was safe to be vulnerable with her because I didn't know what side I was getting from her. And a lot of these things just made me feel more self-conscious in the way that I express myself and being fully myself.
00:07:16
Speaker
It was like this need for approval because I didn't get it from my parents. I started seeking it outside, elsewhere, outside of me through all the ways. And I could totally see now, like before healing my relationship with my mom, like all the things that I did and the reason why I did those things.
00:07:34
Speaker
It all stems from our parents, guys. Literally everything. There was also some physical abuse as well, which I'm not really going to get into so much. But it also like made me realize also why I was so hard on myself.
00:07:48
Speaker
I was very hard on myself growing up. I was like so hard on myself that people would tell me I'm being hard on myself and it wouldn't register at all. like It would literally go one ear out the other and I'd be like, I don't get it But I would say like overall, I just did not feel safe around my parents. Like I did not feel safe to be seen, to be heard, to be myself, to share anything that like I really just felt like it was just them and it was just me.
00:08:17
Speaker
And when I lived in New York City, things were better between us. Like we would talk often and it was just like great conversations, obviously, because I just wasn't around her to be triggered so much.
00:08:30
Speaker
And it wasn't until I moved back in 2021 back home where all of those triggers that I never addressed before I moved started coming back up again.
00:08:40
Speaker
And that's just like goes to show that if you haven't healed and shifted through any of your triggers, like they will follow you to the grave, They will follow you to the grave, girl.
00:08:53
Speaker
And then they're just going to go into the next lifetime. And so you're better off just dealing with that shit now. So since then, has been a motherfucking journey. That's all I got to say.
00:09:06
Speaker
It has been a roller coaster, but it has been so worth it. And I want you to remember that by the very end of this episode, after I share everything and it's time to take action, just remind yourself too that it's going to be worth it.
00:09:23
Speaker
I am going to be sharing Two main core things just to help you get started in the process. I don't want to overwhelm you with too many things, but these are the very two core foundational things that really helped me heal my relationship with my parents if I was to like,
00:09:40
Speaker
you know, hone it down. These are the two main things that even if you do both of these things that I share, it's going to help you tremendously. And this can also apply to your dad, by the way, like, it doesn't have to be just your mom, too. But I know that a lot of our traumas, especially if you're a female watching my podcast, and I know i get a lot of females in my community.
00:10:01
Speaker
then you know you're definitely a lot of your stuff comes from your mom personally for me my focus has always been on my mom for the most part i i feel like as women we do take a lot on from our moms and so this really helped me with her and then it helped me with my dad as well the first thing that i did that really helped me immensely. This is like basic foundational things, guys, but I don't feel like a lot of us is doing this.
00:10:28
Speaker
And that is shifting my perspective of them. So I feel like people don't realize that their perspective creates meanings to things and then their meanings creates the feelings and then the feelings create your reality.
00:10:43
Speaker
It's like a cycle. Like what you focus on you get more of. So one of the very first things that I started doing in the morning before I started my day, before I even said hi to them, was I would set the intention to see everything that I appreciate in them and also in everything.
00:11:02
Speaker
it's really stepping into that energy of appreciation and this goes back into what i just said earlier around 95 of the people in the world being seven-year-old grown-ups and so when i realized this it makes me have more compassion for them which helps me appreciate the things in them that i do appreciate and not focus on the things that I don't because again, what you focus on is what you're gonna get and if there's anything that you can take away from everything I share, i want you to understand that.
00:11:36
Speaker
That was like the very first foundational thing that I did that really helped me get started in this journey. Everyone has their own shit that they're dealing with internally and not everybody's out there telling you, especially your parents are not gonna be telling you what they're going through And so just understanding that helps you not take things so personally, because that's the reason why most people get triggered is they're taking a lot of it personally.
00:12:01
Speaker
And none of it, especially with our parents, is ever personal. I know it's easy to appreciate your parents when they're doing the things that you want them to or saying the things that you want them to tell you.
00:12:12
Speaker
But even the annoying things that we don't like that quote unquote trigger us, right? Whenever that would happen, and it did happen a lot, and that was how I got better ah this whole thing, was I would step into my awareness.
00:12:28
Speaker
I would go into awareness. I would go into observation mode, and I would look at them externally, like separately, like me and them as another person.
00:12:40
Speaker
and just simply observing. I'm not judging. I'm not taking anything personally. I'm simply observing. And then after that, I would look for the things that I appreciate in them instantly. Like I literally, guys, I had to train my brain to think this way.
00:12:57
Speaker
And that is what you're going to have to do is train your brain to think that way. Train your brain to just instantly neutralize and go into appreciation mode and And look at all the things that you appreciate about them instantly.
00:13:10
Speaker
Whenever you you start to notice them doing their thing. And i know in the beginning was very triggering for me. But... after did not trigger me barely, even if it triggered me like a little bit, I would go straight into observation mode.
00:13:25
Speaker
And I would start to like list out all the things that I truly appreciate about them or how even the annoying thing that they were doing is a good thing and how it makes them who they are and how it's like the opposite.
00:13:37
Speaker
um So for example, if my mom is complaining, and she, i mean, she still does this a lot. But when she's like complaining about how you know, someone is treating her, um like my my sister, for example, then I would go into like, wow, like, I just love how she's, you know, she doesn't allow people to like, she's mad about it, because she cares about how she feels.
00:14:01
Speaker
And i just love that, you know, she is expressing her emotions and like, allowing herself to feel and like, I love that about her, like stuff like that. That's what I would start to think about,
00:14:12
Speaker
And that really helped me like understand her better. That helped me like just connect with her more because I know like she's human. We all do that too. It really helped me a lot. So I think at the end of the day, like everybody wants to be accepted.
00:14:28
Speaker
And everybody wants to be loved for who they are like deep down. And so it wasn't until I started doing that with them that they were also able to do that with me too.
00:14:39
Speaker
I mean, just from doing that guys, like I get compliments from my mom often. And yes, sometimes like the other day, i did get the whole like, what are you wearing thing?
00:14:50
Speaker
And that does happen. It's not completely gone. And it's just part of her personality, her way of thinking and just like the things that she deals with internally. but I'm not triggered by it anymore. But on the other hand, I do get compliments for her and I do compliment her a lot too. Like I appreciate her cooking.
00:15:06
Speaker
I always like try to lift her up and like tell her how amazing she is and people can feel energy. Okay. People are not dumb. We all are intuitive and we can all feel when you're feeling resentful or you're feeling ah judgment towards somebody or when you're actually feeling loved and accepted.
00:15:26
Speaker
And so that's what's been reflecting back to me ever since because I see her for who she is. I allow her to express herself fully and authentically just like she allows me to express myself as well now.
00:15:39
Speaker
I mean, she even makes my favorite meals when I want and she doesn't really say anything or comment about it like she used to She even spoils me when we go shopping sometimes and she enjoys it. It's not like, oh my God, like fine, I'll get this. She's like,
00:15:55
Speaker
I love it. She lights up because I light up because I appreciate and value her just as much. And we are in that energy of appreciation together. I just feel like I understand her so much more. And I feel like she's understanding me so much more. And it's just been beautiful just by like applying this appreciation method or whatever you want to call it. I don't even know. It's just appreciation, like the energy of appreciation and really having the freaking
00:16:28
Speaker
discipline and commitment to seeing that and neutralizing that as much as possible when you get triggered. I think those are the times when it has helped me immensely. Now, the second thing you are not going to like me for because it is going to require you to take radical, radical, radical, radical responsibility for yourself. And most people don't want to because of their ego But I just feel like this is the one thing that the manifestation world does not talk about. And it is one of the most important MF laws that are a game changer. That's really going to move the needle for you the most. Like, yes, law of attraction became this big thing. But like this thing is like...
00:17:17
Speaker
even more better than that honestly it's something that i learned in my self-image healing journey and since applying it i have noticed it in ways where i'm just like shook where i'm just like wow like this stuff really works so there's a universal law called the law of reflections which simply states that however you feel like someone is being towards you, you are being that way towards yourself in another area of your life.
00:17:47
Speaker
I'm going to repeat that again because I don't want it to fly over your head because we're taking radical responsibility here. And that is the law of reflections, which states that however you feel like someone is being towards you, you are being towards yourself.
00:18:04
Speaker
In another way, it can show up in any way in another area of life. So there are eight areas of life and I'm going to list them so that you guys can pay attention. You have your physical area of your life.
00:18:17
Speaker
You have your mental area. You have spiritual. You have vocation, which is your career. You have your finances, which is obviously your money.
00:18:28
Speaker
You have social, you have family, and you have the most important that most people don't talk about and I will talk about one day, which is your passion and hobbies area of life.
00:18:40
Speaker
These eight areas of your life are where your reflections pop up. And I know, for example, for me, the family area of life would pop up a lot, which for you would probably pop up too if you're having a lot of trigger moments with your parents.
00:18:56
Speaker
And this happened personally for me because of my imbalance of how I was being towards myself that wasn't in alignment for me or that my soul doesn't doesn't feel. And it was in physical, it was in mental as well, career and finances I feel like a lot of my triggers come from there, like the root area.
00:19:22
Speaker
And so it wasn't until I started doing my self-image healing and I started learning about this stuff and I actually started going to the root area where everything originated from, where I was starting to peel back the layers of like, why, what am I being towards myself? Because I feel like she's being this way towards me.
00:19:44
Speaker
And uncovered a lot, guys. One of them, for the most part, was beating myself up and being hard on myself. And a lot of this is subconscious, guys. Like, even if we are aware, it's actually more annoying when we're aware because we're like, want to do something about this. hard of being this way.
00:20:00
Speaker
But a lot of this stuff can also be subconscious where we're not aware. you That's when we really got to sit with ourselves, reconnect with ourselves and figure out like, okay, what, what is this? Like, it's kind of like going down a rabbit hole of like, why I always ask myself the why game.
00:20:19
Speaker
And I'm always like, but why this? But then but why that? But why why, why, why, why? Until you get to the root root. You're not going to shift anything until you get to the root root. so For example, for me, back then, I was not happy in my career for the most part. Like career is very important for me and finances. And I was not happy in either of them.
00:20:40
Speaker
Your girl was beating herself up and being hard on herself. And there was an element of not feeling good enough either, no matter what I did. And also an element of not feeling like I did enough.
00:20:52
Speaker
And so obviously, because that was such an imbalance and the alignment of my soul, of like meet my soul not feeling that way, but I'm my human self is feeling that way to get myself back into balance.
00:21:08
Speaker
My higher self orchestrated reflections for me in my family area of life. And so that's when I would start to see that being reflected to me from my parents. And honestly,
00:21:21
Speaker
This is like next level consciousness, but if you can really wrap your head around this, like just know that you're up leveling your level of awareness here because your parents, for example, and we're obviously focusing on parents, but your parents are your biggest blessings. okay When you decided to come down here to have this whole human experience, you have a soul contract with your parents and your soul chose your parents for you to be able to feel those feelings and feel those triggers to actually shift and heal yourself and grow and learn the lessons that you're here to grow. So they are your biggest freaking blessings. And I know that it's annoying to hear that.
00:22:05
Speaker
When I first heard it, i was like, but how? It doesn't make sense. But now it makes so much sense being on the other side of it and applying these universal laws and actually doing the inner work is that they are your biggest blessings. They are showing you where you are out of balance yourself.
00:22:23
Speaker
and especially in the areas that you care about the most. And so I realized that if I was creating these reflections myself, then I can reverse them as well.
00:22:33
Speaker
Because ultimately, have you ever learned a lesson without learning the lesson? Like, you know what I mean? Does that make sense? Because like, make it make sense. Like, when have you ever learned anything without having any kind of obstacle or challenge to grow through and learn from?
00:22:52
Speaker
Like life would be so boring if we never had that. So it's like, how can you get neutral around anything without giving it any meaning and seeing the equal amount of good and the equal amount of bad in it and just seeing it for what it is? Because if anything, might as well make all your negatives into positives and neutralize them.
00:23:14
Speaker
And just like you can do with anything good as well. But we're not going to focus on that. We're going to focus on the things that we often focus on and neutralize them. Because it's only when we're out of balance that we're triggered.
00:23:27
Speaker
And it's simply just showing us where we are out of balance within ourselves in other areas of our life. And so it's actually helping us. Your triggers are actually helping you get to where you want to be.
00:23:39
Speaker
And when I started healing my self-image, I started noticing this even more. It's wild how we create everything. And a lot of it can be subconscious, especially if you're not aware of like certain beliefs that you're holding on to.
00:23:55
Speaker
But you don't realize them until they start reflecting back to you. And and that's the fun part because that's we have the power to shift things. So I want to share something that was like really mind blowing to me when it happened and really helped me realize that this stuff actually works And it was one day, i remember, I don't know what the conversation was about, but I remember noticing my dad just yelling at my mom about something.
00:24:21
Speaker
And then I remember when he turned his head at me and was looking at me. I literally saw the energy and felt the shift instantly where his tone changed, his body language changed, and he literally, his he was like his tone just was like, oh, hey.
00:24:41
Speaker
like it it changed instantly. And he was being nice to me. And I was just like, wow, because I was being nice to myself, he had to play that script out and he had to be nice to me too.
00:24:56
Speaker
But it was like in an instant, like stuff like that does not happen, especially when someone's emotional, like highly emotional, and then they like shift instantly. That was like that was a big indicator to me of like, wow, this stuff really works. And that was really cool to see.
00:25:13
Speaker
Another time was recently I picked up my dad from the airport and it was busy. Right. And I was playing my music that I play. And I remember going up. He never liked the music that I used to listen to because like he just didn't want me listening to hip hop, rap and all those things.
00:25:31
Speaker
And I was vibing to my music. Like I was in the energy of like, I love my music and this is I feel good about it. Like this is what I wanna listen to and I don't care. And i remember him getting in the car And he was curious about my music. He was like, oh, what is this playing? It sounds interesting.
00:25:49
Speaker
And I was like, this is my music and I love it. And i didn't even really have to say that, honestly, because my energy said that, but I just said it because I felt good and I i wanted to say it.
00:26:00
Speaker
And I remember him just still being in his happy mood. He didn't have any comment about it. He didn't say anything. He was just like, cool. And it's it's wild the way that we treat ourselves is how our everybody, not just our parents, is going to treat us. and i mean, there's so many examples. Honestly, I can't really think of any more in my head right now.
00:26:22
Speaker
But um there's just been so many other like tiny, tiny ways where I've noticed all of this play out. And then times where I wasn't rooted, where I was feeling a little like anxious or a little held back or not really...
00:26:34
Speaker
fully confident in like how I'm feeling about myself and then that would also reflect back then and then I would just get myself back into alignment and then I would see everything shift again. you're into manifestation then you know that we all have a electromagnetic field and all our beliefs create our reality.
00:26:53
Speaker
I call it the belief field because not only is it full of beliefs, but it's full of the thoughts that we think, the actions that we take, our aura, our energy, all of it encompasses what our EMF field or belief field is.
00:27:09
Speaker
And so it's important to know that because knowing that helps us take charge and take back our power and actually create the things and the scenarios and the situations and circumstances that we actually want, regardless whether with our parents or anybody else.
00:27:25
Speaker
And so a little tool that I have for you guys today is I want you to start noticing all the ways in how you feel like your parents are being towards you, just start noticing it.
00:27:37
Speaker
Start noticing it. Write it down if you need to. And then I want you to start noticing in all the ways that you're being that way towards yourself in all of the eight areas that i had talked about.
00:27:48
Speaker
And really be honest with yourself, okay? Do not lie to yourself because this is not going to work. It's going to take radical responsibility and it's also going to take you pushing your ego out of the way because that's the only way we're going to get this done. That's the only way you're going to heal and shift your relationship relationship with your parents or with anybody by being honest with yourself and not beating yourself up about it too because that's a big thing, especially when you're doing the inner work.
00:28:14
Speaker
Don't beat yourself up. like That's what unconditional love is all about is just having compassion for yourself just like you'd want someone else to have compassion for you or you have compassion for somebody else.
00:28:25
Speaker
And so i want you to start noticing in the ways of how you're being that particular way towards yourself. If it's being hard on yourself, like how are, if you feel like your parents are being hard on you,
00:28:38
Speaker
then how are you being hard on yourself in any of the other areas of life? It can be one or it can be multiple. Usually it can be like two or three areas. And it's usually the areas that you get triggered where you pay the most attention to And so you want to pay attention to the areas where you're not paying attention to where your reflections may be coming from.
00:29:01
Speaker
That's like a little tip that I learned um just from going through like reflections and working through all of this. It's like, okay, it's mainly going to show up in the areas that I pay attention to my triggers.
00:29:13
Speaker
So it's time to go into the areas I don't pay attention to, of like how I'm being this way towards myself. I mean, guys, I thought I loved myself truly until I started doing this reflection work.
00:29:27
Speaker
And I was like, wow, I didn't realize subconsciously how I was still being certain ways towards myself, which was why my reality was reflecting that so much more, especially like as you grow in your inner work journey.
00:29:42
Speaker
The reflections are just going to get louder for You have... like the you you are not allowed to play small at that point. You are not allowed to like just revert. You have to keep moving and you have to really grow because you're way too important. Like if you're in this work, you are way too important to be playing small and just allowing yourself to not do anything about the things that you actually want.
00:30:05
Speaker
And I also want to mention one more thing. It's going to be the most important thing when you're doing this tool is And when you're looking through the ways that you're being towards yourself and how, you know, you do want to improve your relationship with your parents is don't do it for the outcome. Just be genuinely wanting to feel good because it feels good because it does.
00:30:28
Speaker
And just start to notice how like the tiny shifts that you can see, like just start to notice how things start to shift with your parents and just start to notice like the tiniest, tiniest things. Okay. We're not looking for dramatic things, but tiniest things that tiniest ways how things are shifting that's going to keep you motivated but it's also going to keep showing you and helping you start to notice more and more um i think that's like one of the biggest things that people are like I did this and then what happened and it's like it takes time like it takes time of like continuously rooting to
00:31:03
Speaker
you know, appreciation more. And that's what how it was for me. I mean, two years in and I am truly seeing the biggest difference now more than ever.
00:31:15
Speaker
Like actually seeing it, like my triggers are down to like, I barely see them. It's like 90% fully shifted. yeah, fully shifted so Just be patient with yourself and do it for the journey and do it for who you're going to become and how this is helping you in so many more ways than you can imagine, not just with your parents. And just trust and know that the outcome is going to outcome because it's going to be genuine then, you know, it's not going to be this like I have to do this to get this result.
00:31:47
Speaker
not None of that is fun. And people can tell when you're doing it for those reasons. So just don't do it. I promise you, i promise you that if you try these things out, both of the things that I shared, you will notice shifts.
00:32:04
Speaker
You will notice shifts. You will start to see improvements within your relationship relationship with your parents and even everyone around you. And i just want you to get committed.
00:32:16
Speaker
I feel like the biggest thing that people just fall short on is the commitment. It's like they want this grand change, but they're they're not committed to the level of no matter what.
00:32:28
Speaker
And that's what's really helped me in my life. It's like seeing how something is going to be worth it long term and committing no matter what, no matter what, no matter what happens, like comment commit.
00:32:42
Speaker
And I promise no matter how long it takes, it will happen. It happened for me and I know that it can happen for you too. When you start noticing the shifts, the tiny little shifts from the interactions that you have with your parents or the way that you feel, my God, the way that you feel honestly is far more important more than anything. Then I guarantee day after day, the inner work will start inner working.
00:33:08
Speaker
And the reflections will start reflecting in the way that you want them to. And things will just start to compound affect that bitch. So just remember, guys, the first thing is to start noticing in all the ways that you appreciate your parents or in any anyone and anything. Just start to be in the energy of appreciation.
00:33:31
Speaker
And you can do this by also neutralizing in the moment by being observant and not taking anything personally. And then the second thing is to start noticing in all the ways that you're being the same way that person's being towards you that you're triggered about.
00:33:48
Speaker
how you're being that way towards yourself and start to shift that. And if you guys want me to make another episode on like how I go about that process with like shifting my reflections,
00:34:00
Speaker
Let me know because there is a little process that I go through or like a little tool that I can share for that. But I wanted to make this episode as digestible and simple and doable for you because that's the point. It's implementing the things that I shared that are actually going to help you notice the changes.
00:34:19
Speaker
And yeah we're not just here to just just listen. We're here to actually do something about the thing that we want. So thank you so much for tuning in. Oh my God, I'm so glad that I was able to share about this. It's been a work in progress, like I said, and it's just going to keep getting better and better. And I really want that for you.
00:34:39
Speaker
and especially if you have had this struggle for a while now with your parents where you don't feel like your relationship is as deep as you want it this is going to change the game for you.
00:34:52
Speaker
um Please let me know in Instagram, in the DMs, what you took away, what was helpful. I want to hear from you. I want all the feedback and I will catch you guys in the next episode. And don't forget to subscribe.