Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
The 2 most important pieces to mastering your subconscious mind with Vanessa
11 Plays7 days ago
If you are familiar with the concept of the subconscious mind, you know it creates 95% of the reality you experience. I dive deeper with Vanessa, who's been working with her subconscious mind since she was 16! We reveal 2 main pieces to focus on mastering to essentially master your subconscious mind. By the end of this episode, you will be 10x more clear, and have a game plan for hacking your subconscious mind in a tangible, simple, yet effective way!
Follow/Connect with Vanessa:
IG: @theuplevelplayground
Enjoyed this episode? Give it a 5 stars & share with a friend. Send me a screenshot of your review on IG @darshvibess (screenshot before you submit the review), and I'll send you a free gift ;) ORRRR just leave me a review anyway haha ilyyyy
Let's connect ;)
Watch on Youtube: @itsdarshna
Follow + connect with me on Instagram: @darshvibess
Tiktok: @itsdarshna
Have feedback + topic requests? Send me a DM on IG
Contact for Collab/Work with me: nextleveldarsh@gmail.com.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Vanessa and Her Method
00:00:00
Darshna Patel
Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the She's Next Level podcast. Today, I have a very special friend that I met in my intuition training. And I know I've been like introducing a lot of people on my podcast lately with the intuition training, but I'm telling you guys there's a lot of genius fucking minds in there.
00:00:17
Darshna Patel
And I have the pleasure and privilege to interview her today. This is Vanessa, and she is a allow you to introduce yourself.
00:00:26
Vanessa
Yes.
00:00:27
Darshna Patel
What are you? What do you
00:00:29
Vanessa
Hi, guys. Oh, my gosh. I'm so happy to be here. So I am a subconscious change coach for high performing entrepreneurs. I am all about helping entrepreneurs activate lightness led leadership. And the way that I go about doing that is I use my high performance method, the up level effect, which allows me to go in and really see What subconscious conflict would create friction for my entrepreneur clients?
00:00:53
Vanessa
And then we go in, we dissolve it. We bring in the energy healing. We bring in all the good stuff, all the good and yummy stuff that contributes to lightness led leadership.
Rewiring the Subconscious for Success
00:01:02
Vanessa
So that's a bit about me.
00:01:03
Darshna Patel
I love that. So in the essence of all the fancy words that she used for any of you guys that are probably like, why? Is that she specializes in rewiring the mind the subconscious mind and I know that if you're in my world and you're in this work You know that rewiring your mind is the essence of manifestation is the essence of becoming the identity of that it girl that person that wants to have more soft girl success Which is what we are on the vibe of and I know Vanessa is on to
00:01:35
Darshna Patel
That is like kind of the essence of what she does.
Vanessa's Personal Journey and Achievements
00:01:38
Darshna Patel
And I do want to know, first of all, I have a lot of questions for you, but before we get into that, for those of you, for those of like my the people that are listening that don't know you, could you just kind of share like um a little bit of a backstory about how you got into this work and just your journey to getting here?
00:01:59
Vanessa
Oh, my goodness, girl. How long you got? I'm just kidding.
00:02:03
Darshna Patel
Yeah.
00:02:04
Vanessa
No, but, well, I actually got into this work 12 years ago. So when I was a 16, I had a mental breakdown that really really catalyzed me getting into understanding how does our mind work?
00:02:19
Vanessa
How does... psychology work? What role does it play in our life? and that mental breakdown really created, and still today, a foundation of needing to respect the mind and the value of making it a nice place to be no matter what. Like there is no external thing that matters more than your inner world being a nice place to be. So after that mental
00:02:46
Darshna Patel
That's wild that you had that at 16 years old. Like that's such a blessing in a way.
00:02:51
Vanessa
Dude, oh my gosh. Yeah. it's it's And it's so insane because it's like, it's one of those things where when I look back, i'm like, this is literally what my soul chose to come here and to do because this was not motivated by anyone. There was nobody put pressure on me to get into this career. There was no outside influence. It literally was like, I had that mental breakdown. I knew that if I didn't master my mind, that I was going to try to opt out of reality.
00:03:19
Vanessa
and Literally, like the very next day, I dove headfirst into like checking out three psychology textbooks. I was reading works on Carl Jung. I was just like in it and started even taking college classes at 16 years old in psychology.
00:03:30
Darshna Patel
Mm-hmm.
00:03:35
Vanessa
um And really, the obsession never stopped. So I... From there, i went on to really see what would happen when I fully apply everything that I had
Challenges and Metaphors in Subconscious Change
00:03:50
Vanessa
been learning. And from that came me fulfilling my childhood dream of becoming a model. Then i was like, okay, boom, did that. Then I multiplied my income in real estate. Okay, boom, that's success, did that. I became cmo of Commercial Real Estate Network when I was 25. Okay, did that. But the thread, the through line of it all was always, always, always.
00:04:13
Vanessa
this soul pull towards helping people activate internal freedom so that they can create what their soul came here to create so that they can be in the world as who source designed them to be. And it would be the through line through everything that would constantly show up. I've constantly, I've always been a guide for people since I was 16 years old. Um,
00:04:37
Vanessa
And now it's just more I do it professionally and it's more has the fancy words and the whole method methodology behind it.
00:04:42
Darshna Patel
Yeah. That is so cool. Did you like ever have did you ever struggle like during that time around like being 16? Right. And I remember like when we're all like in their teens, we just want to be identified as cool. We just want to belong. Right. And when you're learning all of this stuff about like mindset and like, you know, doing the things that is opposite of what most people do and that are programmed to in society, did you have a hard time like um relating with people or like, how is your how is that for you? Because I feel like a lot of people i know, I still struggle with this, like, just being in the world, knowing what I know around rewiring our mind and energy work and all that.
00:05:25
Darshna Patel
And then I see in the world, everyone is just so like programmed the opposite of me. And like, just, you know, you know
Aligning Subconscious Beliefs with Desired Outcomes
00:05:33
Darshna Patel
what it is.
00:05:33
Vanessa
again So it's so interesting because When I was a teenager, I mean, again, when you have a mental breakdown to the point where you have tried to opt out of reality, like it's one of those life and death moments where you just stop giving a damn about what everyone else thinks.
00:05:52
Darshna Patel
And
00:05:54
Vanessa
Like like that breakdown, I literally remember laying on the floor and looking at my ceiling and just thinking like, what life would be worth it, Vanessa? And it truly was the vision that pulled me where I was like, I could not care about anything else except for that vision.
00:06:10
Vanessa
Like that was my literal lifeline. So it's really interesting because when I was a teenager, there was always a sense of, i felt misunderstood and I felt like I couldn't connect with people and I didn't trust people.
00:06:24
Vanessa
And there was a whole bunch of different trauma with that.
00:06:26
Darshna Patel
That's very common.
00:06:27
Vanessa
But Yes, very common, especially amongst old souls and...
00:06:33
Darshna Patel
And especially people that are into like becoming the best versions of themselves, like this personal development mindset work, that is so common. Yeah.
00:06:43
Vanessa
mm-hmm. But you know what's funny is that I, even though I had that sort of like sense of feeling misunderstood or whichever, being young... I didn't... I knew I was different, but I also felt like those who... The people that I was friends with, I felt like they would just come along with me.
00:07:02
Vanessa
So I never felt like I needed to hide it. It was always... Like I said, like I've been a coach, a guide. I was like the mom friend of the group always. like I've always been that because I just expected them to get it. And I expected us to go up together. And it wasn't until...
00:07:18
Vanessa
a couple of years after that sort of like big spiritual awakening at 16 that I realized, oh no, like not everyone's coming and they don't get it. And oh my gosh, they actually think you're weird. And oh my gosh, actually they're intimidated by you because you see them in their biggest light, but they don't see themselves in their biggest light. So therefore they just think you're a know-it-all. They just think like you're, and so it was like me getting,
00:07:47
Vanessa
older Like once I got to like 18 is when I realized that not everyone is going to be on the same level. And that was a bit disappointing, but I never like tried to hide it.
Dissolving Limiting Beliefs and Setting Intentions
00:08:01
Vanessa
If that makes sense. Like the spirit, the deep spiritual, deep, deep, deep spiritual aspect, I guess to a degree, like I... I didn't, I wasn't like on social media broadcasting it, but like in my inner circles, I wasn't hiding it.
00:08:14
Vanessa
I was really happy and excited to share all that I had been learning because it was blowing my freaking mind. Cause i was like, how do more people not know about the power of their minds, the subconscious mind, these universal laws?
00:08:25
Vanessa
Like, how do we not know this?
00:08:27
Darshna Patel
Yeah, I remember.
00:08:28
Vanessa
So.
00:08:28
Darshna Patel
i remember the first time well, like my intro to this stuff was like through um through like manifestation. So I like, I feel like that's always the first intro, like people learn about manifesting, and then they get into the subconscious mind, because that's the next level.
00:08:44
Darshna Patel
And I remember like, reading my first book on subconscious mind by Joseph, Joseph Murphy called the subconscious mind. And I was just like, What the hell is this? And then I was like, once that once the Pandora's box is open like that's when you're like dude I can literally hack the system like just like this from the power my, like on some Matilda shit.
00:09:05
Darshna Patel
And I'm just like, ever since then, i was too but I've been more personally, I've been more obsessed with energy work because it's accelerated my subconscious mind, like rewiring journey.
00:09:07
Vanessa
There's no going back. You can't unsee it. Yeah.
00:09:16
Darshna Patel
So like, I always, for me, I like going to the root of like the root of the root and how can we make this more, more efficient?
00:09:17
Vanessa
Mm-hmm.
00:09:22
Darshna Patel
I want to ask you is that, okay. A lot of people are like, becoming more familiar with the subconscious mind nowadays, like it's becoming more popular, more of the norm, right?
00:09:34
Darshna Patel
So and there's so many modalities out there, like, it's just like endless.
00:09:39
Vanessa
okay
00:09:40
Darshna Patel
What makes your modalities so different than like other people's modalities and like how you do things so differently?
00:09:48
Vanessa
Oh my gosh. Well, first off, just like you said, there are so many modalities for subconscious change, but what people don't understand, what i wish people knew more is that these modalities alone don't mean shit.
00:10:02
Vanessa
Like it really is about the wielder of the modality.
00:10:07
Darshna Patel
What do you mean by that?
00:10:07
Vanessa
It's about
00:10:09
Darshna Patel
Like wilder.
00:10:09
Vanessa
It's about not just learning. for So for example, when I was getting my certifications, there are plenty of people who were in there who were just learning for the sake of I want to say I have a certification or just learning for the sake of learning it. There's a difference between learning from just ingesting information to I need to integrate this and then I need to figure out every single way that this doesn't work so that I can understand how it does work. So for example, there are people who you can have, I don't give a damn if you have a certification in NLP or in hypnotherapy. I care about
Partnering with Emotions for Success
00:10:47
Vanessa
Okay, but do you understand how to do, you how to like help somebody have a subconscious shift when you're in a conversation with them?
00:10:47
Darshna Patel
experience. oh
00:10:53
Vanessa
How do you use the tools? And so it's, it reminds me like the best metaphor I can get for this is like, you can have two contractors and they can have a full tool tool belt to remodel a bathroom or to build a house.
00:11:08
Vanessa
But There's a contractor that's been doing it for just a couple of years and they just kind of did it because they just kind of watched a video one time and maybe they'll do your bathroom, but then you're going to see like some lines are kind of fucked up and like, you're just going to see like your stuff. Sorry, can we cuss?
00:11:25
Darshna Patel
Yeah, girl, go ahead.
00:11:27
Vanessa
Okay. I was like, I don't know how your podcast was marked.
00:11:27
Darshna Patel
ah saw the time my podcast is literally all about being free and being you. Like, we're not here impress.
00:11:33
Vanessa
I just wanted to make sure your podcast is marked as well.
00:11:36
Darshna Patel
We are here to Yeah.
00:11:38
Vanessa
um Anyways, I'm just real back in on this metaphor. So it kind of reminds me of like, there can be two contractors, two people who know how to remodel a bathroom.
00:11:49
Vanessa
And one of the contractors can be someone who just like watched a few videos and kind of just got in the knowledge, but they just kind of want to do it for the money. So they remodel a bathroom, but then you go into that bathroom, you can see like,
00:12:01
Vanessa
the gaps in the tile, you can see like some of the lines aren't completely straight. You can see how like the colors aren't really matching in the bathroom. Well, versus you go to another contractor who literally eats, breathes and shits remodeling bathrooms and doesn't just take in information like they embody it. Like that is who they are. They they devote themselves to excellence of it. And you walk into that remodeled bathroom,
00:12:28
Vanessa
And you're going to see the difference. This is the difference between someone who even has to watch a video in order to know how to do the bathroom versus the person who's like, give me my hammer. I'm going remodel this bathroom for you right now.
00:12:38
Vanessa
Does that make sense?
00:12:39
Darshna Patel
Yeah, that makes sense. So how can people like know the difference, though? Because there's so much talk, there's so much like people marketing, right? Themselves as expert, which to each their own, I do feel like there's somebody for everybody out there.
00:12:49
Vanessa
Mm-hmm.
00:12:52
Darshna Patel
But how can people like, know the difference of like, you know, someone that knows their shit, that fully, you know, knows everything about the subconscious mind versus like, not just knowledge.
00:12:52
Vanessa
Mm-hmm.
00:13:00
Vanessa
Yeah.
00:13:08
Vanessa
I would say what's coming to me right now is someone who is very skilled at it is someone who can tell you what's not going to work, what might create not immediate or deep results.
00:13:28
Vanessa
So for example, when I was just first getting into subconscious change work um and I was, oh, and by the way, i wanna to make this super clear. Like everyone's starting at their own like phases and stages. There's nothing wrong with being more like amateur and being a subconscious change expert or whatever. It's just good to know where you are and don't try to it's it's good to know where you are. Don't try to act like you're someone you're not. Cause like that's, i but I truly believe in excellence. um and competition and And competence because having access to someone's psyche is not just a small thing.
00:14:04
Vanessa
And I think it needs to be taken seriously. um
00:14:06
Darshna Patel
Mm-hmm.
00:14:07
Vanessa
So, but anyways, an example that I'll give is like when I was first getting into subconscious change work and learning like and NLP, for example, i realize that like, oh my gosh, holy shit, this is so life-changing. This is amazing. And you can experience great results. But one of the little ways that I realized some of the techniques don't work is, for example, if you don't have the energy healing component, that is one thing that when I got trained in energy healing, that made a huge difference in and the permanence of the results that I can help somebody create with the subconscious change work.
00:14:42
Vanessa
Or for example,
00:14:45
Vanessa
If someone, and this is why I have my whole high performance method, the up level effect to fill in some of these gaps, but like if someone is doing subconscious change work on a limiting belief, and they're not clearing the emotion beneath it, that belief is not releasing.
00:14:59
Vanessa
Because you have to clear the emotion beneath the belief. Otherwise, it's pretty
Balancing Intuition and Subconscious Beliefs
00:15:03
Vanessa
damn hard.
00:15:03
Darshna Patel
Why is that?
00:15:05
Vanessa
Because the way that our limiting beliefs are formed is from a significant, what we call and a significant emotional event that happened to us in our past.
00:15:16
Darshna Patel
Mm-hmm.
00:15:17
Vanessa
In NLP, we actually call limiting beliefs limiting decisions. Because what happened is that, let's say when you were seven years old, something happened to you. There was an emotion a big emotional charge in a situation. And in that moment, your subconscious mind made a decision about the truth of your life and of your model of the world.
00:15:40
Vanessa
So I can give an example. Let me see something I don't want to share.
00:15:44
Darshna Patel
Let's use one for me. Let's use one for me. I've been working on my self-worth or my value and feeling good enough.
00:15:47
Vanessa
Yeah, you have one because mine.
00:15:53
Darshna Patel
So let's use that.
00:15:55
Vanessa
Okay, perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's say...
00:15:57
Darshna Patel
I feel pretty similar, like they're intertwined. Like feeling good enough makes you feel valuable.
00:16:00
Vanessa
working on your value and feeling good enough.
00:16:03
Darshna Patel
So valuable, I guess, would be, yeah, self-worth.
00:16:05
Vanessa
So I'll go to one with value, something as simple as maybe when you were six years old and you had a crush on a boy, but then that boy had a crush on another girl,
00:16:18
Vanessa
and didn't like you. And when you found out that he didn't like you and he had a crush on the other girl, you felt so like, you felt this rush of emotion come to you.
00:16:20
Darshna Patel
Okay.
00:16:27
Vanessa
Like you felt so embarrassed and so just like disappointed. Like you felt all the emotions. In that moment, your subconscious mind could have created a limited decision. See, I'm not valuable.
00:16:40
Vanessa
See, I'm not good enough. And then that will continue to ripple on out into every area of your life Until you become aware that that was a limiting decision that your mind created and then challenge it.
00:16:54
Darshna Patel
so So how can we like become BFFs with our brain then?
00:16:54
Vanessa
that's just a.
00:16:57
Darshna Patel
Because it seems like the subconscious mind is just making decisions here without my consent of like giving it meaning that I didn't make it give meaning to. so like, how the hell can we just tell it like, hello, but don't do that.
00:17:08
Vanessa
Oh, my God.
00:17:15
Vanessa
Please stop it.
00:17:18
Darshna Patel
Stop being a negative Nancy.
00:17:20
Vanessa
Yes. Yes. Well, and here's the thing, because like our, okay, how do I want to describe this?
00:17:28
Darshna Patel
Okay.
00:17:29
Vanessa
When it comes to our limiting decisions that we've decided about who we are and how life works, I'll just call them limiting beliefs because that language makes more sense to most people.
00:17:41
Vanessa
There is a root moment where that limiting belief happens that then creates a sort of root system where of a but ah of many more situations and events that are all coming from that root moment, that root limiting belief. So where this begins to get a bit like too much is that your brain has constantly been making associations forever since the moment you were born. So it's like you can't just be all willy nilly out here just trying to tackle all the beliefs all at once.
00:18:15
Vanessa
So in my high performance method, the up level effect, what I have us do is we go into what I call the design phase is the second phase of my method.
Aligning Beliefs with Actions and Trusting the Process
00:18:25
Vanessa
And in that phase, we're getting clear on, okay, what is the outcome that your soul is feeling pulled to create next? Not just like the human want, but like, what is your soul wanting to create right now? We need to define that outcome. We cannot just be all willy nilly. We need to give subconscious the specificity and our brain the specificity.
00:18:47
Vanessa
That is what creates what I call your container of intention. What begins to happen in this container of intention is now all the limiting beliefs that would get in the way of that outcome begin to come up to the surface.
00:19:02
Vanessa
So this is a much like higher quality way of going about challenging your belief systems because it's directly correlated to an outcome. And also that there's more of like a...
00:19:16
Vanessa
rather than you just trying to like all willy nilly just tackle all the ways your brain is going to be sabotaging you. you It's more of a organized manner. So then once you have the outcome and you're looking at, okay, the limiting beliefs that are that are in the way, you just start going to the root of those few core beliefs and you challenge them and you shift them and they create a bigger result.
00:19:41
Vanessa
Does that make sense? So is it's so it's like, you're not just making all your beliefs a problem.
00:19:42
Darshna Patel
I mean, yeah, the power of intention behind like the things that you're working on because your brain is going to basically work with you to like be like, hey, this is what we're you know, something I also notice is like I also when it comes to certain fears of mine, like I also give my brain a back like a plan because I also found that like when i'm where I'm working on certain things where I'm expanding my capacity to like go into the next level out of my comfort zone,
00:19:46
Vanessa
And
00:20:10
Darshna Patel
And I feel like a fear coming in. I always tell my mind, that like, we got a game plan. Like, mine was homeless.
00:20:17
Vanessa
Yeah.
00:20:17
Darshna Patel
And mine's like, you know what? i got a game plan even if I become homeless. So my mind's like, oh okay, we're good.
00:20:21
Vanessa
Yes. Yes. Yes.
00:20:24
Darshna Patel
That's like me how I, like, help myself, you know, whatever. um so Moving on from that conversation then about that, what is like where do people get like the process of shifting their limiting beliefs? like Where do people get it wrong with that? like Where do people struggle the most with that? that like Why do people struggle the most with it? And where do they get it wrong when it comes to that?
00:20:51
Vanessa
The reason people struggle the most with shifting their limiting beliefs is because they don't fully realize that they're limiting beliefs. Because it shows up as just the truth. It just shows up as your model of the world. It shows up as the way that the world is. Even if somebody can tell you, like, for example, someone can tell you, hey, babe, the reason why you're not making $80,000 per month is because you have a limiting belief in the way. And you can consciously, like being someone who's into personal development, being someone who's studied the subconscious mind a little bit, you can consciously grasp that. Like, yeah, it's my self-image that's in the way. There's some limiting beliefs there that if I cleared them, yeah, I can experience 80K per month. You can consciously grasp that.
00:21:33
Vanessa
But there is still a sense of, but bitch, I've never experienced it before. So like, wait, are you guys lying to me? Because there's no fucking way that this is just a limiting belief.
00:21:40
Darshna Patel
Oh, so it's in the experiences. Like the more experiences that you have, the mind is going to be more like towards that. Basically.
00:21:51
Darshna Patel
Like the more experiences that you have, your mind's going to believe the new thing more like the mind's going to believe whatever it feels like it's experienced the most.
00:21:51
Vanessa
ah explain that in a different way. I just want to make sure. and there's
00:22:02
Darshna Patel
Right.
00:22:03
Vanessa
Right. Exactly. Exactly. The mind's going to believe whatever it has experienced the most. So if you have an experience, let's say, if you want the outcome in $80,000 a month in your sole pull business, and you've never experienced that before.
00:22:11
Darshna Patel
Thank you.
00:22:17
Vanessa
What
Practical Steps for Emotional Mastery and Conclusion
00:22:18
Vanessa
is hard is is to truly stay open to challenging the belief that you can't have it because you can conceptually understand that if you shift certain limiting beliefs and took different actions it is inevitable that you will create this outcome but then to be in the experience of it on a moment to moment basis of challenging that belief there are a lot of people without the subconscious change work, helping them to do this stuff on autopilot.
00:22:45
Darshna Patel
Yep. Yeah.
00:22:50
Vanessa
There's always going to be that sense of, um, I don't know, because mind wants the evidence. Mind wants the proof. Mind is like predicting your life and what you're going to create based on what it has created.
00:23:03
Vanessa
That's just science. So it's like the, where people are going to struggle the most is to truly stay open on a moment to moment, day to day basis.
00:23:04
Darshna Patel
yeah
00:23:13
Vanessa
And the fact that what I want is truly possible for me and not just conceptually, but letting themselves feel it in their body.
00:23:23
Darshna Patel
Yeah, I think that's like the biggest missing piece that's in all of this work. That's always the biggest missing piece. And I feel like that's why I love energy work because that's really like accelerated me to like push me into like feeling it more.
00:23:40
Vanessa
oh my gosh. Absolutely.
00:23:40
Darshna Patel
This is not.
00:23:40
Vanessa
Absolutely.
00:23:41
Darshna Patel
Okay.
00:23:42
Vanessa
I think too, like, just real quick, I'll add this last note because this one this wanted to come through before when you asked me another question. um But
00:23:52
Vanessa
an element of what makes this harder is taking it too fucking seriously. Like we want to be intentional, but also we have to understand that like, it's not a problem that you have limiting beliefs. Right.
00:24:06
Vanessa
It's just creating a result that you don't want right now, but we can't treat them like it's the enemy because to treat them like it's the enemy is to make your subconscious mind and your brain an enemy.
00:24:18
Vanessa
And are you going to partner with the thing that you think is an enemy to you?
00:24:19
Darshna Patel
Okay. um here
00:24:23
Vanessa
No. So it's like, there needs to be like a baseline understanding of like your brain. Ultimately, all it's doing is it's, it's functioning as a normal, incredible, intelligent genius.
00:24:37
Vanessa
Mechanism. Your brain wants to help you. The only reason you have these limiting beliefs is because there is what ah what's called secondary gain. You are benefiting from having these quote unquote limiting beliefs.
00:24:52
Vanessa
So I just wanted to add that in there because it's like I feel like in personal development when we're and in goal achievement, there can be a sense of... making your current state of being a problem. And it's actually going to be so beneficial in helping you release limiting beliefs to know that they were never a problem to begin with. It was just your brain being a brain and trying to help you.
00:25:11
Darshna Patel
I love that. So how can people master their brain then? Like, I remember when we were having this conversation, I don't know if you remember, it but I do. We were having this conversation a few weeks ago and then I was like, oh, i need to do a podcast on this because it was so good.
00:25:24
Vanessa
Oh, yeah.
00:25:25
Darshna Patel
And yeah I was like, what does it take to master your brain? And you were giving me some things, but I want to share with everybody on here and bring that conversation back because it was so good.
00:25:30
Vanessa
Oh gosh, yeah.
00:25:35
Darshna Patel
Because, you know, we talk about this stuff all the time, like the brain rewiring and stuff.
00:25:39
Vanessa
Yes. Oh my gosh. I'm so happy you brought this back up. I had a realization a few years ago and because all in the air we breathe, we, we always see, you know, you got to push, you got to grind and success is so hard and everything's going so fucking hard. And I used to eat that shit up. And guess what? My success was hard. I would burn out all that, all the good stuff we love.
00:25:59
Vanessa
And then one day, few years ago, I asked myself, I said, well, what makes success hard? Why is it hard?
00:26:09
Darshna Patel
Duh!
00:26:09
Vanessa
I was like, because it says who? like like Really, I wanted to... i didn't want to just keep it surface level. I was like, no, it just gets to be easy. I actually started thinking about, like no, but what makes it hard? And I went on this experiment and, yeah, a whole a whole thing. But what I realized was the only thing that makes success hard... And this does loop back to your point of like how do we master our brains? This is like the most...
00:26:37
Vanessa
the The most basic way I can put it um is looping it to this, which is the two things that make success hard are perception and sensation.
00:26:52
Vanessa
So when it comes to being... a master of your mind and being in true partnership with your subconscious mind, if you focus on these two foundations and becoming excellent in these two foundations, you will be like on an elite level of having a premium inner world and being able to achieve your goals with lightness and as a lightness led leader.
00:27:22
Vanessa
So I'm just going break it, break it down super quick.
00:27:24
Darshna Patel
Yeah, go deeper into that. I want to know and we all want to know.
00:27:28
Vanessa
Yes. So when we think about moving towards a goal, And we think about our day-to-day moments of moving towards a massive goal in our life. And then it's like, oh my gosh, this is hard. The thing that's usually hard is one, the meaning we're applying to any situation that's coming up, that's perception.
00:27:51
Vanessa
Or two, the sensations and emotions that we're feeling in our body as we're moving towards the goal. So it's not that attracting clients and having like a 10K month or whatever is actually hard.
00:28:08
Vanessa
Like there is and a sort of equation that creates it, but what makes it hard is if in the process you're having the perception, this isn't working. Why isn't this working? Oh my gosh, no one's engaging. Oh my gosh, that means I'm a failure.
00:28:21
Vanessa
And what makes it hard is when because mind wants to keep you safe in familiar circumstance. So what makes it hard is when that anxiety comes up as you're taking action or disappointment comes up as you're taking action. And if you don't know how to feel safe, experiencing and processing those emotions quickly, you will stop.
00:28:43
Vanessa
You will stop moving towards the goal. Your decision-making speed will slow down and you'll you'll either stop completely or you'll just slow down to such a degree where you're not going to move as fast as you possibly can. So what I realized is that if you can master understanding that in every single moment, your mind is creating a meaning about everything around you and it's doing it by on autopilot.
00:29:08
Vanessa
And usually it's creating a meaning that is going to create pressure and friction in your body because it's like, it's it's primed to show you threats in your environment. So if,
00:29:20
Vanessa
One of the things that you can do is is become a master at changing the meaning of your environment and doing it intentionally. That is going to serve you in feeling so much lighter on your path.
00:29:33
Vanessa
And just change the meaning literally to serve you in where you're going. And then the other thing is have a protocol. Do not leave this up to chance. Have a protocol for how you process your damn emotions.
00:29:43
Vanessa
Your emotions.
00:29:44
Darshna Patel
No. Emotional mastery.
00:29:45
Vanessa
Oh my gosh, girl. Like literally like this blew my freaking mind. I realized that the the thing when you can master and truly come and into feeling safe and trusting yourself to handle the emotional outcome of anything, you become freaking unstoppable. Like I just, I need you to hear that again.
00:30:11
Vanessa
When you master something,
00:30:11
Darshna Patel
Mm-hmm.
00:30:14
Vanessa
Feeling safe and trusting yourself to handle the emotional outcome of anything, you will become unstoppable because it is our emotions, our fear of our emotions that stop us in our tracks from creating what our souls are here to create. And we, and it's definitely a dark force thing, we have been conditioned to not be in partnership with our emotions. We've been conditioned to not understand our emotions, to demonize them. So a majority of people don't even have a protocol to handle anxiety when it comes up outside of just hustle and grind against it. No, bitch. What the fuck are you going to do about this anxiety? What are you going to do about this disappointment? And process it
00:30:53
Vanessa
Not making it a problem. Don't make it a problem, but just like let it in.
00:30:57
Darshna Patel
Yeah.
00:30:58
Vanessa
Know what you're going process it so that you can move.
00:31:01
Darshna Patel
i think I think the biggest thing with emotions is that it's such a slippery slope. There's so many different... conversations around it there's so many different opinions on it on the internet that it's actually I feel like it's confused people especially women as to like how to actually process it because there is a fine line in processing it too right of like not like a processing it but not allowing it to then over overcome you and like the thing so like I guess I want to ask you two things is like
00:31:21
Vanessa
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:31:34
Darshna Patel
You know how like in self image we've all learned that they're like not to assign meaning especially when it comes to your self worth like not to assign meaning to anything. Nothing means anything about you.
00:31:44
Darshna Patel
Well, for subconscious mind is always fucking putting meanings on to shit. How the hell can we do that? If like, and make sure that you feel that worth and that like detachment from things while still like navigating what your brain automatically does, because it seems very kind of like, like a conflict there.
00:32:03
Vanessa
Mm-hmm.
00:32:03
Darshna Patel
And then the second thing I want to know is around emotions, like what is something that you can share with people that can help them like like cultivate a better relationship with their emotions, because I also know that our emotions are not who we are, right? But they are so important for us to, to like release and to grow, like to grow from like they are important for our growth. So like, what's something also that you can give to people that can help them process it in a healthy way, but also not allow it to overtake them? Because I think that can also happen.
00:32:41
Darshna Patel
Like,
00:32:42
Vanessa
There is.
00:32:42
Darshna Patel
There's a fucking art to this, man. And I'm here still figuring it out.
00:32:45
Vanessa
There is.
00:32:46
Darshna Patel
Like, I've definitely been way better with, like, my own emotions and, like, expressing myself more. um And I also, that's why I feel like nervous system stuff, like, tools come into play.
00:32:57
Darshna Patel
But I think the best fucking tool is to just feel it, damn it. But not let it overtake you. So that's, like, been my thing of, like, okay, where's the fine line between that and that?
00:33:04
Vanessa
me
00:33:09
Vanessa
Yeah. So and i might need you to repeat your first question.
00:33:13
Darshna Patel
I know. as ah chris i'm like, my brain is going here, there.
00:33:15
Vanessa
i like,
00:33:18
Darshna Patel
And I'm like, wait, i want to
00:33:19
Vanessa
let me write this shit down.
00:33:21
Darshna Patel
of first So the first question was around like, you know how like we've all learned in self-image that, you know, um like you're like connecting to your innate value is like not assigning meaning to anything around you. Like nothing outside of you means anything about you.
00:33:39
Darshna Patel
Right. But if our brain is constantly assigning meaning automatically, then how can we work with that by like being in detachment, right? Being whole.
00:33:51
Vanessa
Yes.
00:33:51
Darshna Patel
while still like like guiding our brain to work for us by the meaning that it assigns for things
00:33:59
Vanessa
Okay. I'm going to answer this first while this is like coming up and now i'll go to your next thing. So this is one of just just those like spiritual paradoxes because
00:34:10
Darshna Patel
I'm like girl
00:34:12
Vanessa
Because here's the thing is like, nothing means anything except for the meaning that you apply to it.
00:34:24
Vanessa
So there is a balance. And and i what I've experienced is that you kind of want to play a little bit of a tango depending on what you find that you need. So, for example, there are times where, like, when you're constantly, when you're just in a moment of, like, trying to reframe the meanings of the data you're taking in around you to be supportive supportive of supportive of you, there is a thin line and you can feel it when it just starts giving you fucking anxiety.
00:34:52
Vanessa
Where you're just like, this is like, I'm overthinking being.
00:34:55
Darshna Patel
I've done that before.
00:34:56
Vanessa
Right. like, I'm overthinking just existing. So when that happens, that is a moment to root into just deep presence, just allowing yourself to simply exist. And that's even taking in, doing a tool of like,
00:35:14
Vanessa
connecting to your breath, doing box breathing for three rounds, connect to noticing the sensations of the seat below you, the colors, the smells, using all your senses.
00:35:25
Vanessa
And just really as much as you can bring your mind to a still state of everything's okay. Like this is okay. Just allowing yourself to become as deeply present as possible.
00:35:36
Vanessa
And something that really helps me is I look up at the sky and even if I'm not standing outside,
00:35:42
Darshna Patel
I love staring at the sky too and watching the crowd move.
00:35:44
Vanessa
Yes, dude, dude. But here's the thing it's, it's, it's, oh my gosh. It's so just, just try this. Just try this when you fill your mind.
00:35:52
Darshna Patel
of hypnotizes you.
00:35:54
Vanessa
it absolutely does. When you fill your mind going into, you ah like anxiety or or friction over like trying to be in control of the meanings of your life to support you. What that friction is actually a sign of is that your brain has an NLP, we call it chunked down too much. And so what's going to support you in that moment is chunking back up out of detail and into vagueness.
00:36:22
Vanessa
And that will create lightness. So the way that I do it is I'll either stand outside or I'll just imagine sitting inside of my house and I'll just imagine taking my eyesight, looking at the sky, but then shooting it even beyond the sky and into space and just like realizing, bitch, we are on a floating rock in the middle of nowhere.
00:36:42
Vanessa
Like nothing is that damn serious. Like get over yourself. Like it's one of those things where it's like,
00:36:47
Darshna Patel
I always say like, if you didn't die, then it's not that serious.
00:36:51
Vanessa
Like, it's one of those things.
00:36:51
Darshna Patel
And even death is amazing, you know, because it's like, you just you go back into light. But you do have a deep spiritual like, ah relationship and understanding to obviously like understand these concepts and things.
00:36:57
Vanessa
Right.
00:37:03
Vanessa
Yeah.
00:37:05
Darshna Patel
Which you're in your if you're in my world and you have some level of like fucking spiritual understanding, otherwise like none of this shit is going to make sense for you. oh
00:37:13
Vanessa
That's a fact.
00:37:14
Darshna Patel
Then the other question I had around what you were talking about is like, so how can people like...
00:37:14
Vanessa
Yeah.
00:37:21
Darshna Patel
in a healthy way feel their emotions, process them without allowing their emotions to like overtake them? Because I feel like that can happen. Where's the fine line between that and cultivate, like how can they understand, ah but like ah give a better meaning to their emotions?
00:37:39
Vanessa
Yeah First before I answer that question I just want to get clear on How you define the emotion taking over Like what has that shown up How's that shown up for you?
00:37:48
Darshna Patel
Um, just like, I, I feel like I've had moments in my life where I've just allowed it to continue spiraling in my head of like feeling the same emotion. And it's just like, it would get in my head.
00:37:57
Vanessa
Got you
00:37:58
Darshna Patel
And then I'd just be like, what's the fucking point? Like, game over.
00:38:03
Vanessa
Yes, yes. Okay, cool.
00:38:04
Darshna Patel
It's just like, I feel like there's been times where it just like, it just took over my mind. And then the thoughts would just be on loop and repeat. And it felt like the emotion, the feeling was never going to end.
00:38:16
Vanessa
Okay, cool. Boom. So this is so crazy that this is coming up because I just dropped something to talking about this in our level five intuition chat. The
00:38:27
Darshna Patel
Amazing. I'm going to check it out later.
00:38:28
Vanessa
oh Yes. Well, I'm about to say it right here too, but oh my gosh, this was game changing when I realized this a couple of years ago.
00:38:32
Darshna Patel
yeah, say it. I won't check it out then. Easy.
00:38:40
Vanessa
First of all, At the foundation of all of this, like from partnering with your emotions to partnering with your subconscious mind, it's really understanding that it is not a problem. And not just understanding that conceptually, but letting it land in your body that like your emotions are not ever a problem. They're not something that you need to fix.
00:39:01
Vanessa
It's just, it just is. It's just part of the human experience here on the planet. And One of the things that helped me is coming into loving my emotions because my emotions are always giving me signs and signals of like something's important to me. There's something I'm missing. Like there's always a message behind it. um But when it just answering more directly, your question of how do we not let it consume us?
00:39:26
Vanessa
The way you prevent your emotions from consuming you is actually by completely letting them in. So when sadness shows up, when disappointment shows up, when rage shows up, you let like, I'm, ooh.
00:39:42
Vanessa
When that comes up for me, I'm not trying to sort of stay calm.
00:39:47
Darshna Patel
I'm like,
00:39:47
Vanessa
I'm like, I opened the door. I saw one of my coach ah coach of mine so many years ago say this and it always stuck with me where she's like, I open the door to my emotions and I tell it to come in and I make it tea.
00:40:02
Vanessa
Like, I'm literally like, let the emotions come.
00:40:02
Darshna Patel
what?
00:40:05
Vanessa
You're like, huh?
00:40:06
Darshna Patel
want i
00:40:09
Vanessa
It's like, like, you're you become friends, a friend with your emotions. Like, it's just like, oh, rage is here. um But the way that it showed up more naturally for me is...
00:40:20
Vanessa
is I'm usually a very emotionally neutral person. I've just trained my brain to kind of be that way. So when I'm feeling very emotionally reactive, that tells me that the emotion needs my full undivided attention.
00:40:34
Vanessa
And here's something that not a lot of people know about emotions is that your emotions actually process after about 90 seconds, they will physiologically like process out of out and through your body 90 seconds,
00:40:47
Vanessa
But the only caveat is you have to let them completely in.
00:40:48
Darshna Patel
What?
00:40:52
Vanessa
You have to literally undivided attention focus on letting it be processed. And if it goes longer than 90 seconds is because you are thought looping around the thing that caused the emotion.
00:41:06
Vanessa
And so it just it re-triggers and it's like the cycle keeps going and doesn't stop.
00:41:11
Darshna Patel
What? Wait, so then how do we stop? How do we not do that? Then how do we just like efficiently?
00:41:18
Vanessa
here
00:41:18
Darshna Patel
ah do we like catch?
00:41:18
Vanessa
honey
00:41:20
Darshna Patel
How do we not do the thought thing?
00:41:22
Vanessa
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So what has really helped me, this is my sort of like emotion processing protocol, a couple of pieces to it is when I noticed that there is an emotion coming up that's making me very reactive, the first thing I'm doing is I'm labeling it.
00:41:37
Vanessa
That's number one, you want to label it. Labeling the emotion alone will decrease how strong you're feeling it. So rather than being like, no, I'm fine.
00:41:44
Darshna Patel
Why then? Why?
00:41:45
Vanessa
I don't know why. I don't know. i don't know why.
00:41:49
Darshna Patel
Sometimes I don't know the emotions I'm feeling.
00:41:49
Vanessa
i mean, I could come up with it as
00:41:51
Darshna Patel
Like I, sometimes I just like, I'm like, Hmm.
00:41:56
Vanessa
something's there. So, and and that's the thing.
00:41:57
Darshna Patel
Something there.
00:41:59
Vanessa
That's the thing as well. Actually, why did I say I don't know why?
00:42:00
Darshna Patel
Yeah.
00:42:02
Darshna Patel
Some obvious emotions like anger, rage are so obvious, right?
00:42:03
Vanessa
i do know why.
00:42:06
Darshna Patel
But there's so many other like spectrum of emotions out there where you may not be feeling something like actually like fully feeling it like you do when you're angry, but there may be something there.
00:42:07
Vanessa
Yeah.
00:42:10
Vanessa
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:42:16
Vanessa
man Yeah, I would say just go. I don't know why I said I don't know why. How it's come to me is that the reason that you want to label it is because it basically signals to your brain like, oh, this is an experience that I'm now initiating processing versus it just being like a random experience or holding in your body.
00:42:34
Darshna Patel
Oh, because it doesn't know what's going on. It it wants to know what's going on.
00:42:36
Vanessa
It doesn't know what's going on.
00:42:38
Darshna Patel
Oh.
00:42:38
Vanessa
It needs to know what's going on. You want to like trigger it like, hey, label the emotion. So it's like, all right, we are now initiating this process of I'm about to process this. If you don't.
00:42:46
Darshna Patel
Do you just tell your brain that? Like, do you just be like, hey, brain, like, this is like a conversation.
00:42:50
Vanessa
Oh, no. So what I do is I'll if I'm feeling reactive, I'll ask myself, what am I feeling right now? And I'll be like, I'm feeling angry. I feel angry. Not I am angry.
00:43:01
Vanessa
i feel angry. You don't want to do I am because that creates an identity with it.
00:43:03
Darshna Patel
Oh, okay. Yeah.
00:43:07
Vanessa
But I feel angry. And if you have a hard time putting words to your emotions, that is perfect. This is actually a sign for you to increase your emotion vocabulary because that's part of the process of being in true partnership with your emotions is having a stronger, a wider vocabulary of what emotions you feel.
00:43:25
Vanessa
And that is going to change the game for you and being able to process emotions properly is just being able to label it accordingly. So girl, yes, because there are a lot like,
00:43:32
Darshna Patel
I'm going to be chat TPTing after this. I'm just going to it right on my phone like, what am I feeling?
00:43:39
Vanessa
Yeah, because it's like, that's a thing, like people don't realize is that it's actually a skill set. Like we just aren't taught to be in partnership or to process our emotions. So you have to do the work to create the skill set. And one of the things of developing that skill set is knowing more than just the three emotions that you can have as a human being.
00:43:59
Vanessa
Because there's a lot more than that. Yeah.
00:44:01
Darshna Patel
My favorite one is joy. I'll tell you that.
00:44:03
Vanessa
Yes.
00:44:04
Darshna Patel
ah
00:44:04
Vanessa
So, um but just real quick bouncing through of how we can process it. The number one, the first thing I'm doing is I'm labeling the emotion of, oh, I feel anger. Okay.
00:44:15
Vanessa
Then I'm going into where in my body am I feeling? Well, I'm actually just giving you like a big chunk of my emotion processing protocol.
00:44:23
Darshna Patel
Just give it to us, girl.
00:44:24
Vanessa
So write this shit down. Write this shit down, y'all.
00:44:25
Darshna Patel
Give it us. Give it to me.
00:44:27
Vanessa
So step one, what am I feeling? Emotion reactivity comes up. First thing I'm doing, labeling the feeling. I feel angry. Okay. Step two, where in your body are you feeling the anger?
00:44:40
Vanessa
Is it in your chest? Is it in your throat? Is it in the back of your neck? I want you to notice where in your body the anger is literally being held. Notice how it's moving.
00:44:50
Vanessa
Is it throbbing? Is it pulsing? Is it spreading? Is it shifting? Bring all of your attention into where, how this experience is showing up in your body. You want to fully be with it in order to process it. Your body is literally telling you, hey, I need your attention. Therefore, give it your attention by noticing how is this emotion showing up?
00:45:14
Darshna Patel
Okay, really quickly on that.
00:45:16
Vanessa
Yes.
00:45:18
Darshna Patel
how Like, what would you suggest for people that like may not be so attuned in that way of like, feeling because sometimes even for me, I don't know where it is, but I just know it's there.
00:45:30
Darshna Patel
And so I would like, I just, I'm like, okay, I'm just going to be, and I'll literally just be, but I like, how do you cultivate that? Like, cause even when people tell me like, what's the color, what's the texture?
00:45:43
Darshna Patel
I'm like, bitch, I don't know. Like, it's just, yeah.
00:45:45
Vanessa
it's just there, it's everywhere.
00:45:47
Darshna Patel
yeah So it's like, how do you like, how would you navigate help somebody that doesn't really fully feel that or like is aware of that?
00:45:57
Vanessa
The first thing I would say to that, because I used to be that way too. Like before i kind of like increased my capacity for processing emotions, I absolutely would just be like, I just know I'm fucking angry right now. That's all I know. And so the first thing I would say to that is before counting yourself out as the type of person who doesn't experience or know what's going on, the very first thing I would say is
00:46:22
Vanessa
you probably do. And it takes practice. Like, for example, have you, have, when you've been in an emotional reactive state, have you in that moment, not like in a session or anything, but in that moment of an emotionally reactive state, have you ever truly tried to be like, where is this emotion in my body is showing up?
00:46:43
Vanessa
Have you practiced that yet?
00:46:43
Darshna Patel
No, not really. Cause I'm usually like, going to be honest. I'm just like, what is this showing me?
00:46:49
Vanessa
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:46:50
Darshna Patel
I'm feeling it. And then I'm also asking like at the same time.
00:46:53
Vanessa
yeah Oh my gosh. I fucking love that you just brought that up because ah this is so good.
00:46:58
Darshna Patel
Hmm.
00:46:58
Vanessa
This leads into the next small piece of the process that um that is next. The reason why you may not be able to know how it's showing up in your body is because you're jumping ahead to the next step of trying to find the message in it.
00:47:12
Darshna Patel
you
00:47:15
Vanessa
You don't want to be trying to find no message in this yet. You want to be fully in the moment. So what I'll actually say is Nine times out of 10, you actually do know what's going on in your body. You just haven't practiced it yet. You just haven't like had enough times of being emotionally reactive and then being like, okay, I'm feeling this rage. Where am I feeling it in my body? Where am I? not Because it's visceral. You feel that shit in your body. Like when you're in an emotionally charged state, it is visceral.
00:47:43
Vanessa
So it's like just taking that moment.
00:47:43
Darshna Patel
Yeah, I think it's more the subtle ones. It's more of the subtle emotions that I may feel like a little mini trigger. And I'm like, Oh, what is that? Like, where's that coming? You know, like the subtle ones is the ones that people are not like, so aware, but those subtle ones eventually become, you know, bigger and bigger, bigger.
00:47:54
Vanessa
Okay, yeah.
00:48:00
Vanessa
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
00:48:02
Darshna Patel
And so it's like, my whole thing is I want to just feel and process like, even during those mini triggers, like, as much as I can, because then it doesn't have to be this big thing.
00:48:12
Vanessa
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even with the mini ones too, I would suggest going in to now that you know to kind of separate the meaning making from it and the sort of like, what is this showing me from it? Just try it next time, even with the subtle ones of just fully giving your undivided attention to what's going on inside of you, inside of your body before bringing it.
00:48:31
Darshna Patel
Yes.
00:48:33
Vanessa
Cause I noticed for me, I used to do the same thing. And I literally just realized through my own trial and error that I needed to not make, try to decode what is this showing me in the learning lesson and the fixing of it.
00:48:43
Vanessa
And I just needed to be with the primal expression of the um experience.
00:48:47
Darshna Patel
I see. I'm really just happy to know that it's only 90 seconds and that's all it takes. So like this actually motivates me to like want to then now be with it practice that more because I am.
00:48:58
Vanessa
Yeah.
00:48:59
Darshna Patel
I do. I do even like, okay, this is really interesting. The other day i had a thought in my head that wasn't like helpful, right? That just popped in And then I was just like, huh? Like I set the intention to just release this and allow it to like flow through and release.
00:49:14
Darshna Patel
And I kid you not, that was the first time that I actually experienced something like that, where it just like, it felt like it just disip disappearated dissipated on its own. And not like, usually what you know when you're like thinking, it's the same, like more thoughts of the same thoughts keep circulating in a loop.
00:49:22
Vanessa
here
00:49:28
Darshna Patel
Like in general, our brain just does that. With this one, it literally like just dissipated and it never fucking returned. And I was like, did that just happen?
00:49:36
Vanessa
Right.
00:49:38
Darshna Patel
was like, that was interesting.
00:49:38
Vanessa
Oh, I love that. It's because you didn't get your emotions involved with it. You didn't identify with it. You're just like, oh, this is a passing thought. So you treated it like a passing thought versus if you get a emotion involved,
00:49:45
Darshna Patel
um Oh, okay. I always wonder with the emotion and the thought connection, right? Because like, obviously, that's what creates our beliefs. So I've always wondered about that.
00:49:54
Vanessa
it
00:49:56
Darshna Patel
Like, oh, interesting. Like, that's what it that's what it feels.
00:49:59
Vanessa
Yeah.
00:49:59
Darshna Patel
How can people get better at that?
00:50:00
Vanessa
You kind of look at it.
00:50:01
Darshna Patel
I'm just curious. Even for myself, how can we get better at that?
00:50:05
Vanessa
Getting better at not attaching your emotion to the thought.
00:50:08
Darshna Patel
Yeah. Well, did we did we finish the whole protocol?
00:50:10
Vanessa
Yeah.
00:50:12
Darshna Patel
is So that's what you do is just...
00:50:15
Vanessa
I'll say this last quick step on it just to kind of bring a sense of completion.
00:50:17
Darshna Patel
Okay. Yes. yeah
00:50:18
Vanessa
You kind of already got into it. But after you allow yourself to fully be with the sensation of it, allow it to be dramatically expressed when it wants to be dramatically expressed.
00:50:28
Vanessa
Then from that point, I go into, I'll do like EFT or what helps me is I'll do three rounds of box breathing to then neutralize any last little bit that was in my system.
00:50:41
Vanessa
Then i go into, what is this showing me? What triggered that emotion? What was the thoughts or the circumstance that triggered that emotion? Okay, now what action is it telling me to take? And then I will go in and I'll have my plan. All right, I'm taking this action. That way you're not getting...
00:51:01
Vanessa
You're not thought looping in it. It's like you got the mess. You you sat with the emotion. You let it process. And then the way you're not going thought loop is by then integrating what was this telling me?
00:51:13
Vanessa
What is the action that I can take in response now? And then that way it's like, okay, out of the system.
00:51:18
Darshna Patel
Could you give us like an example, like a real life example, like implementing this?
00:51:22
Vanessa
Yeah. Let me think back to one i
00:51:29
Vanessa
had recently.
00:51:29
Darshna Patel
Give us like the most fun one.
00:51:30
Vanessa
I'm like, well, it's my last. Yeah. Okay. Give me a second. me think.
00:51:38
Vanessa
A most fun one.
00:51:41
Darshna Patel
ah whatever one that pops in your head, that'll be like beneficial for everyone.
00:51:46
Vanessa
I'm actually literally asking higher self, I'm intuiting this right now.
00:51:50
Darshna Patel
Oh, fun. I love it. I feel like I'm asking for me, but also everybody else.
00:51:58
Vanessa
Okay. um Yeah, I guess this is a fun one. It's coming from social life. so As a high achiever, you know how we can like get obsessed with the work that we're doing and our social life can get hit. So I was just having this moment where I was like really feeling anxious about the fact that I hadn't gotten back to my friends yet on like hanging out and I had kind of been neglecting that area of my life.
00:52:26
Vanessa
And I was feeling anxious about it. And then I was feeling angry that I was feeling anxious about it. And i was like, what the fuck? Why is this triggering so why is this triggering me so much? um And I just allowed myself to be fully present, take myself through the through the protocol of like, okay, I'm feeling anxious.
00:52:46
Vanessa
Okay, I'm feeling angry that I'm feeling anxious. And I allowed myself to be with the sensations of it. and What's cool is that you start to notice the sensations begin to sort of dissipate. Then I'm doing my breathing and I'm like, all right, what was this showing me?
00:52:59
Vanessa
And what the emotion was showing me is that I'm significantly judging myself for... how I've showed up in friendships, but also what it showed me is that I actually wanted to raise my standard for how I was showing up in friendships.
00:53:13
Vanessa
And then the action I took from there is let me reply back to my friend and let's get something on the calendar.
00:53:20
Darshna Patel
Okay.
00:53:20
Vanessa
And then it allowed the whole thing to just, and in that moment, it's like you're taking, it's dissolving that sort of subconscious conflict point And it's like in that moment, I'm literally integrating the lesson of the emotion.
00:53:34
Darshna Patel
withc
00:53:35
Vanessa
so then it's So then it's out of my system. It doesn't have to keep looping. like It just keeps looping because you're not taking action on the message that the emotion has to show you. Is that clear?
00:53:43
Darshna Patel
And the emotion is coming from the the thoughts basically, right? The beliefs. That you're.
00:53:48
Vanessa
the emotion The emotion comes from what usually will trigger an emotion is there's a circumstance that then triggers a thought that then triggers the feeling or the emotion.
00:53:59
Darshna Patel
Okay. Your environment and the situation that triggers the thoughts, AKA the beliefs, which trigger. and
00:54:09
Vanessa
Mm-hmm.
00:54:10
Darshna Patel
Oh, interesting.
00:54:11
Vanessa
Exactly.
00:54:11
Darshna Patel
Interesting.
00:54:11
Vanessa
So like your emotions, you'll notice none of them are random. You can always trace back any emotion that comes up to what was, what just happened and what did I just think because of what just happened that then has me now feeling anxious, disappointed.
00:54:24
Darshna Patel
The experience, which is why you say to master your mind, master the meaning that you give it. And what was the other one?
00:54:33
Vanessa
Mastering perceptions and sensations.
00:54:36
Darshna Patel
And since which is the emotions. Yes.
00:54:38
Vanessa
Yes, exactly.
00:54:38
Darshna Patel
Amazing. Oh, my God. OK. All right. i have one more question for you because I value your time and I know that we're kind of a little bit on overboard, but two What I want to ask you is like, I feel like you're all about creating like, you know, soft success for like high achievers and all of that too, right?
00:54:59
Darshna Patel
So like, I'd love to know even from your perspective of like, how can women start to strengthen their relationship with their higher self?
00:55:09
Darshna Patel
And just feel more confident in the decisions that they make and the actions that they take to cultivate a deeper inner trust within themselves without like burning out or like even acting unnecessarily, like doing things unnecessarily.
00:55:26
Vanessa
Yeah.
00:55:28
Darshna Patel
Like what are some of the things that maybe you have done or like that you have seen in the clients that you work with where what really helps them create that like
00:55:34
Vanessa
Yeah.
00:55:38
Darshna Patel
confidence and like self deeper self trust with themselves.
00:55:42
Vanessa
Yeah.
00:55:42
Darshna Patel
and and Especially for people that have not trained their intuition to because a lot of people haven't, you know, in the ones even like us as we have, like, we're still like, cultivating deeper levels of trust.
00:55:48
Vanessa
yeah
00:55:54
Darshna Patel
I know I still am like, it's still a work in progress.
00:55:58
Vanessa
oh
00:55:59
Darshna Patel
It's better now than before, but it's still like, as I grow into new levels, new things, it's still kind of like, feel like it's just always there to like integrate somehow.
00:56:08
Vanessa
Yeah. You know, it's funny. I actually feel like this kind of stays on that same thread of mastering perceptions and mastering sensations because, and and here's, and here's why, unless you want to ask your question a different way, but yeah,
00:56:18
Darshna Patel
Really?
00:56:26
Vanessa
The times when we feel the most disconnected from our higher self and from source is when we are in a, what I'll just call quote unquote wrong per perception shin of how we view ourselves in the world.
00:56:44
Vanessa
So for example, thinking that you're not enough, thinking that you can't trust yourself. These are still perceptions. These aren't truth. And so I'd say that
00:56:54
Vanessa
Let me just repeat your question back just to make sure I got it. Are you asking me what is the best way for them to cultivate their relationship with their higher self?
00:57:00
Darshna Patel
Yeah, like practical ways that they can like strengthen their relationship with their trust and their higher self, like deep trust with their higher self, so that they're not like doing things out of like unnecessarily or burning out or like, you know, um what what are some actions and practical things that they can do?
00:57:21
Vanessa
Okay, actually what just came to my mind is something else that we were talking about and on Instagram, which is just to simplify this as much as possible. um Being more in that connection with your higher self and just being able to take action from that intuitive place, I realized just kind of summing it up into this one question will help you to do that on the fly. And the question is, what would I authentically do if fear weren't here?
00:57:49
Vanessa
Or what would I authentically do if, insert limiting thought, limiting emotion, weren't here? Because the thing is, there is absolutely...
00:58:03
Vanessa
when it When it comes to being in this world as Source Design need to be, when it comes to your specific and unique contribution that only you can give in this world, point blank period, there is a certain amount of action that is required in order to do that. And action, I feel like kind of became a dirty word.
00:58:21
Vanessa
And like, and and and this like soft girl, ah people just craving that lightness led goal achievement. Like I feel like action became a ah dirty word because people assume that action taking has to be hard and action taking has to hurt.
00:58:38
Darshna Patel
Yeah. a
00:58:39
Vanessa
And this is why I say we go back into the, this is a conversation about perception and sensations because action taking can feel like the most divinely delicious honoring of your relationship to yourself and of your relationship to God. And it can feel like the thing that just like gets you up in the morning, you don't have to be in pain in order to take action. And sometimes action isn't always going to be comfortable.
00:59:11
Vanessa
And that's what can make it hard because it's unfamiliar.
00:59:14
Darshna Patel
Yes.
00:59:15
Vanessa
And sometimes it's still that exact action that you must take in order to be in alignment with who your soul came here to be. So I'll give an example ah that we talked about, which was like going on to getting um my intuition trained at a higher level with who our teacher is, with our teacher and just...
00:59:36
Vanessa
when it was first came out that we, that the next level training was coming out, I remember feeling like, uh, I'm not sure. and when I let the emotions and the sensation settle and the actual start, they got announced. And I asked myself, okay, well, what would I authentically do if I weren't afraid that this would overwhelm me, for example. And in that sort of moment of being able to get quiet and still enough to neutralize my emotions enough, I felt, bitch, you would go to the next level.
01:00:09
Vanessa
Even it, quote unquote, might stretch you or whatever, like if your fear wasn't here, if your limiting thoughts and perception weren't here, authentically, without question, you would be signing up for the next level of this. And so I did. Not because it was comfortable,
01:00:25
Vanessa
but because I knew intuitively that that is what my soul wanted to do. And I can, I was able to easily connect to that when I asked myself, what would I authentically do?
01:00:37
Darshna Patel
Okay, i I said this was going to be the last question, but I have like one last question from this conversation.
01:00:42
Vanessa
You're gonna get that.
01:00:43
Darshna Patel
But it's so good because it's like, so I feel like a lot of people are so are still not like, because their emotions kind of end up like consuming them a little bit and your intuition is not your emotion.
01:00:55
Darshna Patel
Sometimes like a lot of people can get like in between like,
01:00:56
Vanessa
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
01:00:58
Darshna Patel
is this like an actual soul desire or is this like more of a subconscious thing, which I call a human want is more of a subconscious mind thing. So like, how can people tell, um, the difference between the two?
01:01:13
Darshna Patel
Like, if this is like a genuine soul thing or is this more of like my subconscious mind? Cause sometimes your subconscious mind can be like the limiting belief, right? Can be like stopping you from actually doing the thing. Cause it's actually that. so how can they tell the difference between the two?
01:01:30
Vanessa
Ooh, are you talking about like a general goal or are you or is this like a moment?
01:01:35
Darshna Patel
Just like making any decisions or doing anything in their lives of like like decision making, right? That's what we do all the time. How can we tell if this is like a subconscious like ah a subconscious limiting belief that's like so like coming up for me that's like making me not want to take action on it Or if this is like, no, a genuine soul pool where it's like, no, I just don't feel like taking that's just not aligned for me. Like, how do we tell the difference between the two?
01:02:01
Vanessa
Honestly, I would actually say that can still be summed up in the same thing, which is what would I authentically do? Because I've...
01:02:07
Darshna Patel
you know if it's not a subconscious mind thing, though? Like, how do you know if it's not like a limiting belief that's saying like, that's like actually driving the decision versus, you know?
01:02:19
Vanessa
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's ah that's that's a good point. um If you're not And I'll say this, once you get to a certain point of being just more like trained and like being in partnership with your subconscious mind, you won't have to do this. But what will really help to know if it's a subconscious mind thing that's holding you back is One, we need to get emotionally neutral.
01:02:45
Vanessa
So do your breathing, do your whole situation. Like sometimes you just use straight up just need to get emotionally neutral. And then you can sort of combat whether or not this is a subconscious sabotage thing or whatever by asking yourself, if my subconscious mind were sabotaging me, If there were a limiting belief here influencing the action that I take next, what would it be?
01:03:08
Vanessa
Like, if you're not sure, then go into asking yourself, what would the conflict, what would the subconscious conflict be? Because for example, let me see.
01:03:19
Darshna Patel
Yeah, I'm like, I need an example.
01:03:20
Vanessa
What's a good example? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me just take a moment here because want to make sure I make this make enough sense.
01:03:25
Darshna Patel
and so
01:03:30
Vanessa
Okay, yeah, so I'll take in... yeah, this came up in our conversation as well with going to the next level, level five of our intuition training.
01:03:40
Darshna Patel
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
01:03:43
Vanessa
In that moment, if I weren't sure if it was like subconscious sabotage or not, one of the things that I actually did ask myself was I took in and and took in a gauge on...
01:03:57
Vanessa
What is my belief around my enoughness with my level of expertise as it is? So in that moment, when I asked myself, what would I authentically do if fear weren't present? And I knew that I would authentically sign up for the class.
01:04:12
Vanessa
I also had a sort of awareness that a limiting belief that could be showing up there would be, I'm going to take this class because it's finally going to make me good enough to finally be the expert, to finally charge the rates that I want to charge. And that could have been like, in that moment, I could have been like, okay, what is what limiting belief could be playing out right here?
01:04:35
Vanessa
What lower self-image could be playing out right here? And just bringing awareness to that also allows you to Then neutralize any emotions that are coming up around that and then get clear and get honest with yourself on the situation. and And what's coming up for me is like what I would have done in that moment if I really needed to challenge like, do I really just feel like maybe I'm not enough? Is...
01:05:00
Vanessa
the first thing I would have done before taking that action is I would have rooted to you all the different ways and shown my mind, all the evidence of all the reasons why I'm already an expert and all the reasons why I'm already enough.
01:05:14
Vanessa
And then once I got to that emotion baseline, then I would have asked myself, do I still want to go to the next level in intuition?
01:05:21
Darshna Patel
Right. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. Because it's the thing is, is that the belief is still going to be there if it's there, right? If there's any type of friction in the beginning, then there's obviously something going on there too, right?
01:05:29
Vanessa
Mm-hmm.
01:05:32
Darshna Patel
Because like you that you would have just been take that action, right? So I feel like that was really helpful because I feel like then people have a like something to work with if their subconscious mind is still bringing shit up and they know like this is something i want to do.
01:05:46
Vanessa
Yeah.
01:05:48
Darshna Patel
Because that's I feel like a lot of people stay stuck in decisions like decision making when it comes to that.
01:05:53
Vanessa
Mm-hmm.
01:05:53
Darshna Patel
I know I have for so long and I still like kind of go through that. So that's actually really good to like kind of bring evidence to your brain. Tell your brain like we're good.
01:06:04
Darshna Patel
That's not true. And then take action from like, okay, is this still a line for me? I love that. I love that so much.
01:06:11
Vanessa
Yeah. So just like summing that up, because I kind of like was bouncing all over as my brain was putting that together is is just going into assuming, just assume that there is going to be a limiting belief, especially if you haven't done a bunch of subconscious change work.
01:06:15
Darshna Patel
Yes, I love that.
01:06:24
Vanessa
Assume that there is a limiting belief currently influencing your action that you're about to take and the decision you're about to make. Then ask yourself, what might that limiting belief be? Once you see that limiting belief with a spotlight on it, I want you to disprove the limiting belief and then see what action you feel called to take.
01:06:43
Vanessa
It might still be the same action or it might be different, but you just want to challenge what limiting belief might be showing up there.
01:06:46
Darshna Patel
Yeah.
01:06:50
Vanessa
That's gonna give you a cleaner answer.
01:06:51
Darshna Patel
Yeah, I love that. Oh my God. This is so good, girl. Like, honestly, learned so much about, like, emotions and the subconscious mind even more. And then this, like, protocol is probably, like, a whole protocol on its own. So good in decision making.
01:07:07
Darshna Patel
I just want to thank you so much for taking the time and sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us. And especially v because I'm like, I have to, like, listen to this over and over to, like, Get the gems down. um But for anybody that like, you know, wants to connect with you or work with you, check you out and all the work that you do, um where can they find you?
01:07:30
Vanessa
Yeah. So you can find me on Instagram at the up level playground. um I also have a TikTok.
01:07:39
Darshna Patel
Nah, you're not on it.
01:07:39
Vanessa
We're not going be, we're not really going to talk about.
01:07:41
Darshna Patel
Your voice changed right when you said that.
01:07:42
Vanessa
Yeah.
01:07:43
Darshna Patel
I was like, Yeah. heaven
01:07:45
Vanessa
I was like, no, I would absolutely love to see you at the up level playground on my Instagram.
01:07:45
Darshna Patel
like you yeah ah
01:07:53
Vanessa
um If this podcast episode really pulled at your heartstrings or you felt like you really got something out of this and you wanted to go a level deeper. i do also have a offer called the private calibration. So that's where you can experience this subconscious change work on a much deeper level where we're going to go in and poop bo bo blah boop clear some limiting beliefs, do some energy healing. We're using trained intuition in there. It's it's a blasty blast.
01:08:20
Darshna Patel
Amazing.
01:08:20
Vanessa
um But the up-level playground is where I'd love to see you.
01:08:23
Darshna Patel
I'm going to put your info in the description box, but thank you so much. Is there anything that you want to share? Like that's, you know, comes from the heart, like anything that's left that you want to share with us and leave us with?
01:08:38
Vanessa
Yeah.
01:08:41
Vanessa
What's coming to me to share with you right now is that you are perfect. Like you are so perfect.
01:08:50
Darshna Patel
Uh,
01:08:51
Vanessa
And I think in being a high performer, being a high achiever, we can sometimes kind of lose sight of just how enough and how perfect we are and how special we are. And what I, my mission really is to bring into high achievement and into high performance is being rooted in a foundation of self-love and in self-compassion and in truly prioritizing that your inner world is premium, it's clean, it's luxury, it's delicious. Because as someone who's created all the different types of success and been in all these crazy rooms, like I can tell you,
01:09:29
Vanessa
the The winner is the person who has the clean, lightness-led inner world. And you deserve that. It's going to make all of your goal achievements so much easier. It's going to make your satisfaction in life so much easier. Ultimately, it's not even about what you achieve. it's about the It's about the journey. It's about your becoming. It's about you just playing on this playground of life.
01:09:52
Vanessa
So I just want you to know you are so special.
01:09:52
Darshna Patel
Yeah, that's what I always say. love that too. As I say, life is a playground and went to play.
01:09:56
Vanessa
Yes. Yes. That's why my company is called the up-level playground.
01:09:59
Darshna Patel
my
01:09:59
Vanessa
Literally.
01:10:00
Darshna Patel
I love that.
01:10:00
Vanessa
you.
01:10:01
Darshna Patel
I love that so much. Oh my God, girl. Thank you so much. This was so good. um guys check her out again. I'll have her just, uh, information in the description box, but until next time i will catch you guys next week.
01:10:17
Darshna Patel
Thank you.