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Why Adult Female Friendships Feel Complicated (And How To Manifest Friends Who Love The Real You)
18 Plays1 month ago
Everyone always talks about "secure attachment" when it comes to romantic relationships BUT nobody really talks about the importance of female friendships and how to cultivate healthy friendships. Let's be REAL: We all crave deeper connection in sisterhood.
If you've ever felt like making more female friends as an adult, that feel aligned and fulfilling is complicated, your not alone. You start wondering if you're doing too much, not enough, or if you're even likeable at all.
In this episode i'm sitting down with my dear friend Gabby who's a manifestation expert and has cracked the code on building real, lasting, fulfulling female friendships in a way where you can be yourself without compromise. We get raw and real about why so many people struggle with this, hidden fears we don't talk about, and what it actually takes to call in friendships that feel good, safe and authentic.
Whether you're starting from scratch, healing from a friendship breakup, or just exhausted from feeling like you're not enough or surface level friendships...this episode is for you.
Follow Gabby: IG: @gabbycoded, Tiktok: @gabbycoded
Enjoyed this episode? Give it a 5 stars & share with a friend. Send me a screenshot of your review on IG @darshvibess (screenshot before you submit the review), and I'll send you a free gift ;) ORRRR just leave me a review anyway haha ilyyyy
Let's connect ;)
Watch on Youtube: @itsdarshna
Follow + connect with me on Instagram: @darshvibess
Tiktok: @itsdarshna
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Contact for Collab/Work with me: nextleveldarsh@gmail.com.
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Transcript
Introduction & Guest Welcome
00:00:00
Darshna Patel
Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the She's Next Level podcast. Today, I have a very special friend that I'm so excited to dive deeper into this topic about all around female friendships.
00:00:13
Darshna Patel
Gabby, so excited that you're here.
00:00:17
Gabby
So happy to be here. Thank you for having me.
00:00:19
Darshna Patel
Of course, of course. You know i I've been wanting to talk to you about this for a while now, like especially ever since you had created a podcast episode around friendships in your own podcasts.
00:00:32
Darshna Patel
And ever since listening to it, and then noticing like even our friendship dynamic, you've taught me so much about friendships and like really raised the standard for me when it comes to friendships and like,
00:00:44
Darshna Patel
the way that I would have never thought of before. So I thank you for that.
Communication in Friendships
00:00:49
Darshna Patel
And I also noticed how great of a communicator you are. And I do feel like that's probably one of the foundations when it comes to friendships or any kind of relationship.
00:00:59
Darshna Patel
And, and I know it's funny, because it's like your soul gift, but it's my mastery. So it's like, it's been a great little dynamic for me. But um I just really wanted to dive deeper into this with you because I feel like noticing your life and the way that, you know, some of the friends that we have in common, like you've really developed the kind of friendships that are so healthy and so easy and effortless. It seems to be that way. and I also know like a little bit, I don't know everything about your backstory around getting to that, but that's what I kind of want to go ah into share.
00:01:36
Gabby
so
00:01:36
Darshna Patel
Also just get to know you on a deeper level around this and help all of my podcast listeners around how to like navigate female friendships, like adult friendships in general, particularly female
Gabby's Journey & Spiritual Awakening
00:01:50
Darshna Patel
friendships.
00:01:50
Darshna Patel
And how can we navigate and cultivate more closeness and more connection without losing ourselves or without feeling like we need to prove ourselves to be worthy of receiving that love and feel safe in our friendships and while also like living our crazy busy lives, but then still having that closeness and that support that as females, honestly, it's in our biological nature to have that.
00:02:14
Gabby
Thank you.
00:02:18
Darshna Patel
So um anyways, enough of my blabbering. I want you to introduce yourself really quickly for anyone that's new that doesn't know who you are. I know that you're like the manifestation queen over here. And so you've definitely manifested a lot in this category of life. And so, yeah, just introduce yourself to everybody. And then I want to dive right in.
00:02:39
Gabby
Love it. Well, thank you for the beautiful welcome, Darsh. My name is Gabby. And yes, I love manifestation. i love intuition. i love, love, love my friendships. And it was not an easy path to get here, but it definitely paid off. So i'm very excited for this episode. And i love helping you guys create what it is you want in life.
00:03:01
Darshna Patel
Amazing. Okay. So before we get into any of the juicy questions that I have for you in this conversation, i would love to know actually like your backstory around this whole like friendship thing.
00:03:17
Darshna Patel
And I'd love to know like, when was it in your life, the moment that you realize that the friendships that you have, like you're not a hundred percent fulfilled with, and that you want to improve this area of life so that you can feel more fulfillment, more joy, more, more love in the kind of friendships that you have for yourself.
00:03:37
Darshna Patel
Like, I want you to like, take me back, take me back on my plane and like share, like, what was that?
00:03:44
Gabby
right
00:03:45
Darshna Patel
What was it like for you during that time? What was the realization that you had Like, what was the catalyst for this journey?
00:03:55
Gabby
I love that question. um How everything started it is I almost never had friends at school. I don't know why. i don't know how. I just really didn't have friends at school.
00:04:07
Gabby
I had people I would hang out with, but it wasn't people I was ever really that close with. And I was only really close with my friends from church. And obviously, as we grow up, we get into different things, not really close with them anymore.
00:04:21
Gabby
When I was about probably 13, this was the first time that I remember consciously wanting friends. Because what what had happened was a friend of mine from church invited all the other girls. Keep in mind, I've known her since I was like three. that She invited all the other girls to her birthday party and she hadn't invited me yet.
00:04:43
Gabby
And it had been like two weeks and everyone's like, oh, are you going to so-and-so's birthday party? And I'm like, haven't got the invite yet.
00:04:50
Darshna Patel
Cringe.
00:04:50
Gabby
And it was just a whole situation where I realized like, oh, these people aren't actually my friends. Because if they were my friends, you know, they'd probably invite me to the party. They'd probably include me in all those types of things.
00:05:06
Gabby
And I think so that was age 13. And I really didn't have like a lot of friends after that. I would have a best friend here and there at the time. But every single time I would get a best friend, darsh every single time something would happen where it would just all blow up.
00:05:23
Gabby
And I remember in high school, I had a really close friend um I was close with for years. And we'd finally I had finally started to build a friend group. And I had introduced her to the friend group.
00:05:34
Gabby
And somehow, some way, they didn't like my boyfriend. It was a whole thing. um She kind of got everyone in the friend group to disown me, basically.
00:05:45
Gabby
Yeah.
00:05:45
Darshna Patel
Oh my god.
00:05:48
Gabby
And then, yeah. And then she ended up dating my ex. It was crazy. But all that said, that was another friendship wound for me. So basically up until, this was probably until I was 17 or i maybe even 19. No, this was until I was literally 19 years old.
00:06:05
Gabby
I struggled with friendships. And if you remember in the podcast episode, I think it was 2016 where I really wanted to create solid friendships.
00:06:15
Gabby
This was a huge turning point and because I didn't have a high enough view of myself to attract high quality friendships, I kind of quote unquote settled for the best of what I felt like I could get at the time.
00:06:29
Gabby
And that resulted in me doing a lot of misaligned things. So like getting into recreational drugs, like weed, like um going to raves all the time, like staying up really late, like shit talking everything, like like really not enjoying life.
00:06:47
Gabby
That's kind of the people who I started to hang around. And so that's kind of what was carrying me for a few years. But I found myself people pleasing every single day.
00:06:58
Gabby
i wasn't my authentic self. These people didn't want to see me win. was always like a weird... thing If I would do well, then we weren't doing good as friends. But if I was doing bad in my life, then suddenly i have like the best friends in the whole wide world. So that was a huge turning point.
00:07:13
Gabby
But what really started shifting things for the better was getting into this work, getting in the manifestation, learning that everything outside of us comes from what's going on inside of us.
00:07:24
Gabby
And so slowly but surely, i started getting into this spiritual awakening, if you will, shifting how I view myself, shifting how I showed up every single day, and saying no to misaligned things, speaking up for myself if so something felt awkward.
00:07:40
Gabby
And suddenly, literally 99.9% all of my friends fell away
00:07:47
Darshna Patel
And that's it.
00:07:47
Gabby
but yeah
00:07:50
Darshna Patel
That was all we needed. I'm just kidding. ah was so good.
00:07:53
Gabby
yeah
00:07:56
Gabby
Yeah. But here's the best part though. Here's the best part. I went a whole like eight, either eight months or a year, i don't even remember what it was, diving into healing myself, finding out my own interests, my things that I like, not relying on people outside of me to make me feel something.
00:08:12
Gabby
And within eight months to like, i think it was like eight months to a year, eight months, I met my ultimate best friend in the
Societal Influences on Friendships
00:08:20
Gabby
whole entire world. Her name's Danielle and we've been friends ever since. So it's been multiple years that same year. i met another best friend named Sarah that say like the year after I met another best friend, Allie. And then of course this year i have met so many incredible friends you included through intuition who I just so deeply love, so deeply vibe with.
00:08:41
Gabby
And in every fiber of my being, I just, I'm, my whole body is vibrating right now. Actually. It's so funny. I just love my friendship so much. but you guys
00:08:49
Darshna Patel
That's the love. That's the kind of love that I want personally to feel because I'm still on this journey myself. But also I want people to feel because I don't really feel like I feel like with women and I can totally, by the way, relate to your story because.
00:09:04
Darshna Patel
For me, it was a little bit different where it was like either I was fully myself and you know me, I'm like batshit crazy, but I'm also really calm and chill. Like there's so many sides to me. And there was a part in my friendships where I was like that. And then I felt wrong for being that way. And I was made felt like guilty and wrong for being the way that I am.
00:09:27
Darshna Patel
and then there was the other side of my friendships where I didn't feel like I was good enough to be who I am because it just wasn't acceptable. Like people didn't think that that was acceptable for some reason.
00:09:38
Darshna Patel
and and And again, going back to like, it all comes back to you now knowing what I know, like it definitely means that, but I do feel like there's still a lot of nuances when it comes to cultivating, like we get there.
00:09:48
Gabby
Okay. Okay.
00:09:50
Darshna Patel
And what I wanted to like touch upon is when, when I really notice and more and more and in like the days go by, I noticed how you and Daniel, like just, I can imagine all your other friendships with just the cultivation of like your friendship with, um, Danielle and how you guys are like, you guys support each other, like unconditional love, no matter what.
00:10:12
Darshna Patel
I feel like that's something that everybody wants, but I do also feel like there's been a societal programming around competition when it comes to friendships and female friendships.
00:10:22
Darshna Patel
Like
00:10:23
Gabby
Mm-hmm.
00:10:24
Darshna Patel
you like they need to be competitive and like this cattiness comes out especially like you were saying when you were doing great people weren't so happy about it because technically they made that mean something about them when it wasn't and vice versa and I'm not gonna lie like I felt that way myself I've compared a lot in my life and I'm still like
00:10:32
Gabby
Bye.
00:10:44
Darshna Patel
navigating that and like way better than I was before, but I still find myself doing that ah in little ways. So then how, like, what do you believe? Why do you believe? um Why do you believe adult friendships are a challenge, especially female adult friendships are a challenge for people nowadays.
00:11:06
Darshna Patel
And what do you think people are afraid of when it comes to making new friends? Cause I'm going to be real. I personally feel like since COVID, since 2020, a lot of people have become more introverted, especially as an entrepreneur.
00:11:19
Gabby
be
00:11:21
Darshna Patel
We are all here like working from home. So we're comfortable being home for the most part of our days and like, you know, whatever we do. But I don't really feel like a lot of people are consciously making that time.
00:11:34
Darshna Patel
for creating new friends or cultivating more time into their friendships because we're so comfortable and like busy, it quote unquote busy in our own day-to-day lives. And I'm guilty of this.
00:11:46
Darshna Patel
And that's why i want to know from you, what do we do here? Like Yes.
00:11:52
Gabby
Oh my gosh, Darsh, I love this question. And I did want to speak on the comparison in friendships and like trying to navigate all the quote unquote competition, if you will.
00:12:02
Darshna Patel
yes
00:12:02
Gabby
I'm not even kidding you. a year and a half ago, Danielle actually made a new female friend. And at the time i hadn't done any of this self-image work and I was bent up for like two weeks and
00:12:08
Darshna Patel
Thank you.
00:12:15
Gabby
And I was like, oh, she's going to stop. earth it must have been two years. it was probably two or two and a half years ago. um was like, oh, she's going to stop loving me. Like, we're not going to like FaceTime anymore. Like, she's going like her more than me. Like, all of those thoughts came up when my bestest friend started making other friends.
00:12:35
Gabby
And what was cool about this, and I feel like this goes into the challenges of female friendships, it was if you are not rooted to, aware of, and connected to the value that you bring to the table...
00:12:49
Gabby
you will feel insecure in friendships. You will not feel safe to be yourself. You will feel uncomfortable if people reject you. You will feel uncomfortable when your friends are making friends and you're going to feel like they're talking about you or like they're going to not love you and all those things.
00:13:02
Gabby
Like a true key to making aligned friendships and keeping them,
Authenticity & Value in Friendships
00:13:08
Gabby
even if you're introverted, i swear to God, just adopting this mindset will literally bring them into your life and attract them into your life.
00:13:15
Gabby
is understanding what you bring to the table and understanding how valuable special and unique you personally are because genuinely nobody else is exactly like you and once i noticed all those feelings coming up of like oh she's not gonna love me and like all those types of things i had to get clear on like okay like why do i feel like that and i'm like is that girl anything like me no And I was like, okay, well, I have multiple friends.
00:13:42
Gabby
Does that mean that I love Danielle any less? And I was like, no. And I'm like, so why would she love me any less?
00:13:49
Darshna Patel
That's a great point.
00:13:49
Gabby
And so so for that too, not only getting rooted to my value, but just noticing that removing the competition piece of we all have multiple friends and we all love our friends for completely different reasons.
00:14:04
Darshna Patel
I think it's funny for me, like I want to be the friend that's chosen first over everybody across all friends that I have.
00:14:09
Gabby
yeah good I love it.
00:14:14
Darshna Patel
I'm going to be that bitch, like might as well go there.
00:14:18
Gabby
what it starts with choosing you. And honestly, Darsha, you're so magnetic.
00:14:21
Darshna Patel
I know it starts with self love.
00:14:23
Gabby
Yeah.
00:14:24
Darshna Patel
It starts with self prioritization, which I definitely it's just next levels of self prioritization.
00:14:24
Gabby
yes
00:14:30
Darshna Patel
And it's so funny because, you know, like we both know from our trainings and like all the things that we've learned is that we have eight different areas of life. Right. And so.
00:14:42
Darshna Patel
It's funny how like for you, for example, like you can feel that way in friendship area of life, but then feel completely different in like family or career area or finances. Like, why is it that we sometimes feel like, okay, let's say that maybe I feel valuable to some extent, at least to the very least.
00:15:02
Darshna Patel
Then underneath that, why do we then feel like, and I know I have felt this way of like, I'm not doing enough to sustain this relationship or to
00:15:10
Gabby
I'm
00:15:11
Darshna Patel
relationship relationship or to grow? Like, why do we still have that feeling of like, I'm not doing enough?
00:15:17
Gabby
Oh my gosh, Darce, that's an incredible question. This is honestly something that I've had to navigate to because I'm not the most, I'm not the best at replying to text messages when they're sent to me.
00:15:29
Gabby
I'm kind of one of those, sometimes I reply immediately, but usually I'm going to reply a day and a half later. And that is something that I used to be so hard on myself for. Because of course, that's not really how your friends want to be treated. That's not how you want to be treated.
00:15:44
Gabby
But at the same time, i think it's more so about knowing the intention behind why you're doing something. And I've definitely been in the place, I'm sure you have too, where you might reply to someone or you might do something that you said you would do, even if it doesn't feel great in the moment.
00:16:00
Gabby
Like, let's say... im trying to think of an example. Like, let's say my friend sends me an audio message. I would love to listen to it right now, but I know that if I listen to it right now, my reply is going to be half-assed because I'm stressed about this.
00:16:07
Darshna Patel
Yes.
00:16:15
Gabby
I'm doing this. I'm literally walking out the door. and So I'm going to save it until I know that I can sit down and give them the response that they deserve. Okay. And shifting that mindset from, oh, I'm not doing enough. Like, oh, I should answer right now. Like, oh my gosh, I feel guilty. Like, they're going to think I don't love them or like, da-da-da-da-da. Like, they're going to don't value the friendship, which is where I used to go.
00:16:36
Gabby
and then I beat myself up, feel guilty for it. I just remember the intention behind why I'm doing what I'm doing.
00:16:38
Darshna Patel
I love that.
00:16:44
Gabby
So if I'm putting texts off, if I'm replying two or three days later, if I'm saying no to plans or postponing plans till the next day, I get rooted to my intention behind this is going to make their experience better. And that's an act of love towards them because that's how much I respect them.
00:17:01
Gabby
I don't want to give them anything that is less than my best.
00:17:05
Darshna Patel
i love
00:17:05
Gabby
And so...
00:17:07
Darshna Patel
I love that. And you know, something I noticed about you too is, and something that I've actually been like consciously, cause you know, you are the person you, ah you end up being the type of person that you hang around, which is something that we'll get into later.
00:17:20
Darshna Patel
Cause I have a question around that, but have noticed myself also like, you know,
00:17:23
Gabby
Thank you.
00:17:26
Darshna Patel
communicating in certain ways that you do because I've seen the value in it of like at least letting people know like you don't have to let people know that hey I can't get yeah back to you right now but I'll get back to you later because I'm doing this and I just feel like even something small like that has helped me also feel safe in like emotionally safe in relationships and friendships but also like kind of keep that healthy dynamic in that friendship because it's like, I'm not forgetting about you.
00:17:55
Darshna Patel
you you know, you're still fine.
00:17:56
Gabby
yes
00:17:57
Darshna Patel
I'm not ignoring you, but this is like, what's going on. And i just setting that, like sending that fucking text, like one little fucking text. This this is what I want to say to all the fucking people that have dropped off in my life where I've had the same scenario that you used to have of like building up friendships and then some shit happens and then they're out of my life or I cut them off because I don't like the way they're behaving towards me, which may not may or may not be healthy, which we can talk about as well. but
00:18:29
Darshna Patel
But even if at least it was like there was a ah some type of communication piece for me, I would have felt more emotionally safe in that relationship, especially in the beginning. Because the thing is, is that as you grow and spend time in cultivating a friendship, you get to know more of that person. So you don't really like need so much from that person in a way.
00:18:50
Darshna Patel
Like you kind of have that. And so you're good. But in the beginning, I feel like, I think even for me and people feel like they have a hard time in the beginning stages of a friendship, like cultivating that from the beginning like,
00:19:02
Gabby
Yes. Yes.
00:19:06
Darshna Patel
like cultivating that closeness where it's just easy. Like for example, my best friend, she's in Florida and we used to talk all the time. She just had a baby and we barely talk anymore.
00:19:17
Darshna Patel
But I also like, and she, she hasn't like, you know, watched any of my content or anything or like whatever. I still love her so much because I know she's busy with the baby. I know she's doing the best that she can. And we have such a, like we have so many memories and,
00:19:34
Darshna Patel
such a friendship dynamic built up where it's like, I know that you still love me. I know you're still there. And I know like, we're still good as if, if, ah as if before you even had the baby.
00:19:45
Darshna Patel
So, um, I'd love to know, like, I guess with this topic, I guess like, I want to know is what should people like, what should people look for they investing in friendships and like, I, for whether some like a friendship is worth their time or not, especially in the beginning stages. Cause I feel like that's where people really have a hard time of like determining like, you know, what's worth it and what's not.
00:20:18
Darshna Patel
um And I know that communication is probably a big piece in that too. and you're so good at that.
00:20:25
Gabby
thank you so much. You're so sweet.
00:20:26
Darshna Patel
I'm just being next. Yeah.
00:20:29
Gabby
you know You know, honestly, for me now, well, okay, I'll give you guys two tips. The number one tip that I would give for attracting the people that you desire to attract to be friends with is being your authentic self in the beginning.
00:20:46
Gabby
Because you being who you are at in the beginning, like, for example, me, I'm not the best texter. I'm pretty sporadic. And so if i meet someone... i don't I don't go out of my way to like be extra for them because they're a new friend or like try to develop the relationship.
00:21:02
Gabby
I'm very much myself. And I do still communicate like, oh, hey, like I'm not going to be on for three hours. Oh, hey, I'm going to listen to this tomorrow. But what's cool is the more you own your authenticity in that way,
00:21:14
Gabby
And you know the people who are going to stick are going to stick and the ones who won't resonate won't. That has been really cool and actually making the friendships. bye um wait But wait, will you repeat the other question?
00:21:27
Gabby
And I want to. Yeah.
00:21:29
Darshna Patel
Yeah. So what but i want to know is, and for everybody listening is
00:21:31
Gabby
yeah yeah and
00:21:35
Darshna Patel
what should we look out for? Like when it comes to investing in like friendships where it's like, whether it's like this friendship is worth me investing more time into and cultivating versus like, I don't think this is worth my time.
00:21:50
Darshna Patel
Cause I don't really think it's going anywhere. Or like, I don't really feel like I'm seeing even the reciprocation aspect, like ah reciprocate differently.
00:21:56
Gabby
yeah
00:21:59
Darshna Patel
Right. And I learned this recently with a friend that I had a tough conversation with And then we ended up closer because of it. But it was like kind of like navigating that uncomfortable dynamic of like speaking up about how I was feeling with support and like reset recipro ah reppro reciprocity.
00:22:19
Gabby
I love it.
00:22:20
Darshna Patel
We'll navigate that and like decipher when it's worth it, especially in this is like for new friendships, because I feel like.
00:22:28
Gabby
he
00:22:29
Darshna Patel
It could be for anyone. It could be for like friendships where it's like not there yet. Like how you and Daniel are. or like how me and my best friend are. Like how can people like navigate that.
00:22:39
Darshna Patel
Where it's like worth it versus not.
00:22:42
Gabby
You know, I feel like it's going to be different for everybody because everybody is going to have different standards for what they prefer in a friendship. But for me personally, um number one, I'm sure you feel this too.
00:22:55
Gabby
I will immediately get a feeling as to whether or not I'm going to vibe and get along with someone. Darsh, I'm not even kidding you. I still remember the first time that I saw you in a q and a from like September of 2023 or 24 or whatever it was, i think 2024.
00:23:12
Gabby
And I literally was watching you. i was like, holy fuck, I want to be friends with her. I was like, I want to be friends with her. She's so cool. And you had only spoken of one sentence. And then when you and I finally met up in intuition, I was like, oh my God, were you in the glow formula Q&A number three?
00:23:27
Gabby
And you're like, yeah. And I'm like, oh my God, like I remember you. Why did I remember you? I immediately felt like you are someone who I would want to be friends with. But for me, it's like authenticity is a huge piece. So you radiate authenticity, you radiate authenticity.
00:23:44
Gabby
Like, I don't care what people think about me. I'm owning my authentic self. I'm taking up space. Like that is something where I'm like, I don't care if you're the worst communicator on planet earth.
00:23:55
Gabby
I still want to be in your energy. So you're still worth investing in my time.
00:23:59
Darshna Patel
okay
00:24:01
Gabby
Other people, i will, again, I'll get a sense. So anyone who I've ever wanted to be friends with, there's something about them where I'm like, there's just this feeling inside of you. You know, it's like this, and like, ooh, they're interesting. Ooh, they're funny. Ooh, I like i like how they're speaking.
00:24:17
Gabby
Like there's something about their energy that's like, I want to be their friend. But I've also had the situation of people that I've wanted to be friends with, if I want to be friends with them and then I text them and then they take on the first day and they take like seven hours or five days to reply.
00:24:35
Gabby
I'm like, okay, I don't, that's kind of a turnoff for me personally, because I do like that communication. If you can't get back to me now, that's fine. But yeah, just, just let me know that you even got my message. Like, did I even text the right person?
00:24:49
Gabby
And to me, i know that I give 100% in my friendships, even if it doesn't look like other people's 100%. And so if I can feel that someone is giving me their 50% or 60% right off the bat, I'm like, okay, like maybe I'll feel it out for a little while.
00:25:06
Gabby
But you can usually tell within the first month or two, if this is someone that you want to move forward with, just based off how they're making you feel, whether or not they're communicating, and also how you feel when you're with them and or speaking to them.
Creating & Maintaining Aligned Adult Friendships
00:25:19
Darshna Patel
That's so interesting, because I've had this thing where I have met people like it's so easy for me to meet people, honestly. and I've even had moments where like, I have thought of those things that you just listed of like, how do I feel when I'm hanging out with them? Right.
00:25:34
Darshna Patel
And I've even had some of them treat me like for lunch and all of that. Right. But somehow we still barely hang out or spend time
00:25:41
Gabby
one
00:25:44
Darshna Patel
And so I also find those kind of friendships interesting because I'm like, if you, you know, you support me on Instagram, sure. Like Instagram is not even that serious, but like you've taken me out before and you've treated me out for lunch or whatever when you didn't have to, or like if you enjoyed spending your time with me, then why wouldn't you want to hang out with me more?
00:26:04
Darshna Patel
And I think about that sometimes, like when it comes friendships, real.
00:26:06
Gabby
and will is
00:26:09
Gabby
No, honestly, Darsh, I do too My thing is like, i love my alone time so much, so it doesn't really bother me anymore.
00:26:20
Gabby
But for me, the quality of the experience, that's kind of what I'm looking for rather than like the frequency.
00:26:21
Darshna Patel
Yeah.
00:26:27
Gabby
I have...
00:26:28
Darshna Patel
okay
00:26:28
Gabby
ah Yeah, I have a lot of people in my life who would like to hang out with me more like in real life, but it's not as high quality of an experience for me as if I was to like get on a Zoom with you or like fly to California. You literally live by Danielle. Fly to California and see you guys or like hang out with my two closest friends. Like I don't have energy for that.
00:26:49
Gabby
I would rather like be alone and then just have experiences with my friends that I love. So whether it's in audio messages or text or Zoom, that's always more fun for me.
00:27:01
Gabby
But there does come a little bit of... biting the bullet, I guess you would say, especially in the beginning. um If you really want to hang out with someone, i am that person who I will i'll bug you twice. i will bug you twice to hang out. And if you don't bite, then I'm leaving you alone forever.
00:27:20
Gabby
But if you do bite and I love the experience, okay, now I can do it again. Some people aren't the best at responding. It really depends for me though. And i feel like you could even use your intuition for this, Darsh. It's like, there's something different about people who aren't able to communicate as well, but they love you so much and they would 100% hang out with you, 100% spend time with you versus the other people who you're not even on their mind, right?
00:27:48
Gabby
Like they're not communicating. All they're thinking about is themselves or their life or like whatever. And I feel like that's a very different energy. Because even you, if I don't reply to your audio messages, I still have a mental check. I literally, even now, I have four people that I have a couple audio messages with that I haven't listened to yet. And I always have a running tally in my head of like, I'm going get to this when I can.
00:28:11
Gabby
Versus other people, i can literally feel that you haven't thought about me in days. Like, I don't want to invest my time into this. Like...
00:28:19
Darshna Patel
job I think that's where I'm at with like drawing the fine line and like, you know how you said about like the intention matters more than the frequency. So like, I think for me, that's where I'm kind of like in the navigation of that, of like, okay, like there's a, I mean, i have a lot of low maintenance friends, friendships, to be honest, like a lot of quality friends I have, or like, they know I'm like, you know, committed to my purpose. And so we don't really talk often, but the love is still there when we're there.
00:28:49
Darshna Patel
yeah, I have made an intention this year and I'm still going to continue to, cultivate more closeness in my friendships and at least increase the frequency with my friendships because I lived a lot of my life focusing on work.
00:29:04
Darshna Patel
And even when I lived in New York and like, I mean, um like New York, I could have this, I could have had so much fun in New York more than I ever did.
00:29:10
Gabby
um
00:29:13
Darshna Patel
And I did have fun and I'm not going to, I'm not going to like regret. I don't really regret changing anything. back then, but I would say that I didn't spend as much time as I would have wanted to with my friendships because I prioritized my career more than cultivating friendships.
00:29:27
Gabby
um
00:29:29
Darshna Patel
And so that's why I'm learning now that like, no friendships are literally the new richness. Like it is the new rich, your friends, because careers and money can shift and change whatever, but like the friendships that you cultivate, that trust, that bond, like if you, if you even ever become homeless one day, somebody's couch for you at least, you know, like you, you have created that bond. And I think, I think it's so important to have that. And so I've been, that's why like, I've been so curious and diving deeper into this, but I have noticed like, you know, already as adults, like we're not, especially if you're an entrepreneur, you
00:30:05
Darshna Patel
I want to know, because I know I'm going to have a lot of entrepreneurs on my podcast. And even if you're someone who works a nine to five, like how can you start to create like new friendships that are aligned for you, that feel good, that are worth investing in? like How can we start to do that, especially if we spend a lot of time alone in our day-to-day?
00:30:30
Gabby
Darsh, I kid you not. Full body goosebumps. Nipples got hard with that question. i loved it. No.
00:30:38
Gabby
So a fun little friendship hack that I love to tell everybody, and this is literally what I will share with everyone
00:30:38
Darshna Patel
Just so you know, we hit the nail.
00:30:48
Gabby
Number one, we are more intuitive than we know. Like before any of us joined intuition, like we are more intuitive than we know. And we can walk into a room, talk to five people.
00:30:59
Gabby
And I guarantee you, if you genuinely get in your body and you feel that feeling of the conversation, you can tell whether or not you want to like be someone's friend or if it's someone who you could hang out with like twice a year at parties or like whatever the heck, but you're not going to be calling them at 12 a.m.,
00:31:16
Gabby
a m when you're having a mentee bee and like letting them hold space for you versus the people who you can just be around and you're like, damn, like, no, I would actually want to cultivate a friendship with them. But a fun friendship hack that I always do. And it's literally so fun works.
00:31:32
Gabby
It's so far it's worked. Um, if I want to be friends with an entrepreneur as one myself, a lot of us are going to be finding each other online And also maybe in person at like workshops or like retreats or whatever.
00:31:46
Gabby
But a lot of it's going to happen online, whether it's through TikTok and like they follow you back or whether it's through Instagram or like somebody's listening to your pod or like it's it's going to be a lot of online interactions.
00:31:58
Gabby
And so what I will do. If I want to be friends with someone, I will literally book a session or do some type of something with them so that I can get in their energy and they can see mine. and And then we we see if we vibe. It's like a first date.
00:32:16
Gabby
And...
00:32:16
Darshna Patel
Interesting. I mean, I would probably de DM them first for free and like see, but that's like...
00:32:25
Gabby
So I mean, that's what I did with Danielle. We were friends on TikTok and like you couldn't DM on TikTok at the time. And I was like, oh fuck, like I really want to be your friend. How am I going to do this? And I just booked a session. Turns out we just loved each other and it was great.
00:32:37
Gabby
But earlier this year, i met a girl in person. coolest freaking girl when I intuitively test she's a 95% soul friend match for me and we would get along so well like we talked for two seconds and I was like we would be best friends like we would be really close well I didn't like I went to one of her networking events but she was surrounded by a bunch of people and I really couldn't stand her friends like I loved her but I couldn't stand her friends and Darsh yeah
00:33:08
Darshna Patel
We've had friends like that too. yeah
00:33:12
Gabby
But it's this interesting thing too. It goes into authenticity. like If I can tell that you're trying to be someone else or you're trying to change yourself to impress people or you're trying to... like It was almost like she was Regina George, not in a mean way, but like in in a like her friends were like following her like a posse rather than being their own individuals blending energy together. They were acting a certain type of way to I don't know if it, I don't, I don't even know how how to describe it. I just saw it going down and it's what i used to do.
00:33:43
Gabby
That's why I can see it. And it just turned me off. I'm like, I literally don't want to be a part of any of that.
00:33:46
Darshna Patel
Amen.
00:33:49
Gabby
But to that point, she and I, I like had texted her and asked her if we could hang out and she never replied. But she texts me on Instagram all the time.
00:34:01
Gabby
And so what I decided to do two weeks ago, and here's the here's the thing, Darsh, she doesn't communicate great, but I can tell that it's It's something like I have, right? It's like she's communicating to the best of her ability and she's not really sure like what the deal is with us.
00:34:16
Gabby
And so she'll reply, she'll text, she'll DM me back. So what I did was I'm like, okay, whatever. I'm going to offer her a free intuitive read because she's like a money queen. She's like a money queen. I'm going to offer her like a mini intuitive read on how to speed up her financial goals for next year.
00:34:34
Gabby
I haven't done it yet, but she was so excited. And my whole plan with this is number one, she's going to get to know me better. Number two, she's going to get to see what I do and be like, oh, like I know she's going to be interested.
00:34:47
Gabby
That's going to spark conversation most likely. And that will probably open a door for deeper friendship. And if it doesn't, then that's okay. whatever.
00:34:57
Gabby
But I like to get my foot in the door with people who I can genuinely tell, like, we we might be having a rough start right now, but I know in two years, if you and I actually put in the work, we would be really successful.
00:35:09
Gabby
Yeah.
00:35:10
Darshna Patel
How do you gauge that? though Like, what do you look for when you gauge that? Is it because of like where they're at or like their their qualities and attributes? Like, what is it that makes you you, know, kind of navigate that and be like, no, this is worth it?
00:35:27
Gabby
It's so funny, Darsh, because genuinely for me, I really do think it's authenticity because in all of you guys that I have pursued as friends, every single one of you guys has something that is so wildly different than everyone else.
00:35:42
Gabby
And none of you are trying to be like anyone else.
Vulnerability & Deep Connections
00:35:45
Gabby
So for example, i darsh you are Darsh. like You're not trying to be Susie Danielle is Danielle. She's not trying to be anyone else. like My friend Nikki is not trying to be anyone else. Aaron, not trying to be anyone else. like These people are really good at owning what it is they love about themselves, their qualities, and their vulnerability.
00:36:06
Gabby
Like we all have self-image holes and issues, right? But I love how we can all see that and we all admit to it and where we can talk about comparison and we can talk about how we feel like down in the dump sometimes.
00:36:17
Gabby
And that vulnerability, I feel like, makes me feel safe. Okay.
00:36:22
Darshna Patel
Yeah, yeah. Vulnerability is something I want to touch on. So authenticity, for sure. I feel the same way. But then vulnerability is another thing. I will oftentimes find myself, I'm an open book.
00:36:33
Darshna Patel
So I will literally when I meet someone, I'm like, what's up? Like, let's talk about deep shit, because I love going deep. Like I don't I personally do not like surface level conversations. But I do remember you talking about earlier how it seems like you have a list of like,
00:36:50
Darshna Patel
certain type of friends, like categories for like certain type of friends to have, because i for the longest was like, I only want friends that are ready to go deep with me, because that's just how I like it. And while I could create that for myself, because manifestation, hello, i do, I guess I wasn't seeing the value in having those other types of friends as well. Or like, maybe they're not friends to me, they're acquaintances, if you're not like,
00:37:15
Darshna Patel
able to go deep with me, you're just an acquaintance, like, you know, because there's no nothing really to build on. But vulnerability for me, I would personally think sometimes, like, I am maybe over being over vulnerable, over sharing some of the things.
00:37:34
Darshna Patel
because I wasn't able to tell if that person was open to that level of vulnerability that I have, or it's just like, let's just talk about life and be great together. And like, I just have this desire to like, just, you know, help people feel good and like believe in themselves.
00:37:51
Darshna Patel
And this has been something that I've been working on in my own life, which is why I love, you know, empowering people. But i would sometimes find that maybe it's not as, know,
00:38:03
Darshna Patel
Like that person doesn't, not to say they don't deserve it, but they're just not there yet. So how do we navigate that vulnerability of like authentic vulnerability where it's landing with the right people, especially like I know for you, you crave that closeness to like you value that deepness.
00:38:10
Gabby
and
00:38:24
Darshna Patel
And depth in your relationships and friendships like you're not here to do surface level shit either. So how do we like, how do we navigate and figure that out of like who, who can we, you know create that with and who not to like, that's not the best to create that with.
00:38:43
Gabby
Darish, do you ask the best questions? The best questions. um For me, i am also an oversharer. And something that is very important in my friendships is you have like,
00:38:57
Gabby
Either you have to go deep or you have to have something that you're really true into that I'm like interested in. And I can tell that you go deep just in your own way.
00:39:09
Gabby
So like for example example, my friend, she's an incredible baker and she's an incredible designer and she will go to the nines for everyone, for everything. and she was just such a beautiful soul.
00:39:22
Gabby
But she doesn't really like to have deep conversations, but we're still really close because i can tell that she goes deep in her own way.
00:39:26
Darshna Patel
Thank you.
00:39:31
Gabby
So she's so into baking. I can tell that she's so into creativity. She's so into into design. design And I love hearing people talk about what they're into. Like you could literally be a woodshop cutter, but love it so much. It could fulfill you. You could share your gifts and it would still light me up.
00:39:47
Gabby
Like I would still want to be your friend, even if we don't really have the same interest per se, because we still have that same level of passion and I can see you lighting up. I can see you sharing your gifts and there's something so authentic and magnetic about that, which I love.
00:40:03
Gabby
But will say my closest friends, like my app, she's not my closest friend. She's a good friend, but not close, super close. Um, my closest friends do have that depth and vulnerability and we can have deep conversations for the ones who I've had where i will always go deep with you right off the bat.
00:40:22
Gabby
And if you don't share anything about your life, I'm like, okay, well now I feel awkward. And if people aren't sharing things about their lives to me, gen, that's a huge thing.
00:40:34
Gabby
I genuinely don't want to like be your friend or if you have no interest, I'm like, it's,
00:40:37
Darshna Patel
Yeah. It's such turnoff. It's like, what are you hiding, bitch?
00:40:42
Gabby
No, know. And I'm like, okay, so you don't trust me. That's my first thought. I'm like, obviously you don't trust me. its And it's not that, right? It's like they don't feel open and comfortable, but I feel open and comfortable. So if you don't, well, then now I feel weird. Now I feel like I have to hold back from you. like And I just hate that energy so much.
00:40:58
Darshna Patel
Yeah.
00:41:00
Gabby
um So that's that's kind of where it goes for me. I always show up as myself. And if someone else can't match me or at least give me a tiny shred of authenticity and like vulnerability of where they're at too, you And they're like, oh, okay, ha ha.
00:41:14
Gabby
And then that's it. That's it for me. I don't want to be their friend.
00:41:18
Darshna Patel
So I like what advice would you give to somebody that struggles with creating that um emotional vulnerability like within themselves to what attract, you know, friendships where they do feel like um more comfortable in being their authentic selves?
00:41:18
Gabby
Hmm.
00:41:28
Gabby
o
00:41:36
Darshna Patel
Like what what advice would you give that person that may not feel like you said, like some people just don't open up like that? Like, what would you give? What advice would you give them?
00:41:47
Gabby
Hmm. the, what advice would I give to the people who don't open up normally?
00:41:52
Darshna Patel
Like, yeah, like that may struggle with opening up right in the beginning. Maybe they're shy, maybe they're introverted, or maybe they just have like friendship wounds and they, they, they feel like it's hard to trust people right away or like just open up even when cultivating new friendship dynamics. Cause this is, I mean, the newness in anything is where people struggle the most is building that momentum for themselves.
00:42:17
Gabby
Oh, yeah. And I feel like anything new is kind of scary at first, too, because it's like you don't know how to act. You don't know who to be. Like, you don't really know the person. Like, you don't know their vibe. And that feels scary.
00:42:27
Darshna Patel
Mm-hmm.
00:42:27
Gabby
But if I were to talk to someone who doesn't really feel safe to open up to most people, would My perception of that, I mean, you could be an introvert, yes. And like, you could be one of those protect your peace people until so until they've earned it. Like, you're not going to give it up, which fine. Like, I've heard that before too.
00:42:46
Gabby
But to me, what that says is Again, people don't feel comfortable enough within themselves. And so either if they give it up, oh my gosh, like what if I get rejected? What if they judge me? What if they don't like me anymore?
00:43:01
Gabby
Like I really think it comes back to a self-image thing more than like an introvert thing because I know tons of introverts and I see right through them. i see right through them. If they felt more confident in themselves, if they had more belief in themselves,
00:43:15
Gabby
If they, like, they would be more open and they would be probably more open to receiving different conversation too. for it. Go for it.
00:43:24
Darshna Patel
Wait, wait. So are you saying this is like a whole nother fucking rabbit hole?
00:43:29
Gabby
yeah
00:43:29
Darshna Patel
Are you saying that most introverts, in your opinion, are technically not introverts and that instead they may actually feel like they don't feel completely safe to fully be themselves?
00:43:44
Gabby
Okay. Here... Kind of, yes, but like, okay. Have you ever had an introvert friend where at first they were super quiet, didn't really talk to you very much. And then once you got a little bit closer, they literally will not shut up. They're telling you their life story. They're telling you their interest. And it's, it's a completely different person than you met.
00:44:04
Darshna Patel
Yeah, it was fucking annoying too because I had to do all that work when you could have just started talking right away. Yeah.
00:44:04
Gabby
Like, or-
00:44:11
Gabby
No, and see, and I do think like a piece of it could be like, okay, perfect example. Think puppies, brand new puppies. Usually most of the time, brand new puppies will like come up to you. They're pretty playful. They might be doing their own thing, but it's pretty rare to find a brand new puppy that's like scared of people and like doesn't want to come up to people and is like,
00:44:35
Gabby
I only know this because I've spent a lot of time with fresh litters of puppies.
00:44:35
Darshna Patel
Yeah.
00:44:38
Darshna Patel
Yeah.
00:44:38
Gabby
Like they're all just little floppies.
00:44:40
Gabby
They just want to walk and like around. Yeah.
00:44:42
Darshna Patel
I mean, even kids though, before they're programmed,
00:44:44
Gabby
yeah Yes. And so, but you start to see that happen when like dogs grow up, if they get abused or dogs grow up and like people aren't nice to them or dogs aren't nice to them suddenly, because it's a self-image thing, they become less open to people. Like they, they become more skittish. They become more scared. They're afraid that people are going to hurt them. They don't trust until they live with a person for six months and then they start to open up.
00:45:11
Gabby
So to me, that's also a people thing. Like if, if something hadn't have happened in your life that made you believe that you had to be quiet or you had to, that your vulnerability wasn't safe or like people aren't going to like you if you take up space, you'd probably be taking up more space.
00:45:28
Gabby
And.
00:45:30
Darshna Patel
That's why I wanted to bring this up. Because I feel like I can have my own introverted moments, like where I like my alone time just as much. But I'm also like, not like, that's not my initial nature.
00:45:44
Darshna Patel
Like, that's not.
00:45:45
Gabby
I love it.
00:45:46
Darshna Patel
And so I also feel like, oh my god, we just literally decoded introverted
00:45:51
Gabby
I love it.
00:45:52
Darshna Patel
The whole introverted thing, which I love because I do, I notice like, especially in the beginning, even like people that I have just even casually meet randomly everywhere. And I can tell how they're a little bit reserved or even one guy, I haven't really apologized to me.
00:46:08
Darshna Patel
I was literally having my breakfast, like right next to him in another table. And he was talking on the phone and he literally told me, I'm so sorry. I ruined your conversation. And I was like, are you talking about?
00:46:19
Darshna Patel
Like and anything, like I'm having a great time, but it's crazy. Like how even something like that, like people just feel like they're, they're um just not safe and worthy of taking up space.
00:46:19
Gabby
Yes.
00:46:34
Darshna Patel
And that makes murmured like they're not,
00:46:34
Gabby
yeah
00:46:37
Darshna Patel
fully allowing themselves to be themselves show up, whether it's online or in person, or like allow themselves to like be in social interactions. And maybe that's why people have social anxiety too. Like, I'm not gonna lie.
00:46:48
Darshna Patel
I've had social anxiety before when I wasn't fully rooted and connected and healed my self image the way I have now, at least at the level that I have right now. But i I can totally like relate to that because I've had it at some point too. And it was because, and it and then made me more introverted because I was not feeling that way.
00:47:08
Gabby
Yes.
00:47:09
Darshna Patel
That's wild.
00:47:11
Gabby
Especially some people too. I'm sure you've had this where like there's people in my life who, Darsh, if you saw me around these people, you'd be like, Gabby, like, who are you? Because suddenly I turn more introverted because I feel uncomfortable around them because I know that we have absolutely nothing in common.
00:47:31
Gabby
And for some, and like, they don't really have that depth, right? Like they cannot for the life of them hold a conversation that's even remotely deep. They don't have any interest. They're very much like lay on the couch. People go out and party on the weekends, people.
00:47:43
Gabby
And they're in my life because we have connections through partners and all that kind of stuff. But I feel so constricted and I get more introverted. Like I literally won't speak because like, what are we going talk about? I literally, I don't want to be myself around you because it's just, it's, it doesn't feel good And so...
00:48:00
Darshna Patel
I felt that too now that you said it. I've noticed when I felt that way too.
00:48:05
Gabby
Yes.
00:48:06
Darshna Patel
annoyed. And then I just want to fucking leave. I don't want to be around those people because I'm like, I can't be myself right now and I hate that.
00:48:12
Gabby
Yeah, so that's a perfect example of what to look for in a friendship. If you are feeling that, like you can usually tell right away that's not someone who you want to be friends with. But if you're around someone who you can tell they are being their authentic self, they don't really care what other people think, they're like having deep conversation, they're not trying to be like anyone else.
00:48:32
Gabby
To me, that is a marker that I'm like, okay, that is someone who I could be friends with. Or if I feel safe having a conversation, they're able to hold space or like they're actually interested in asking me questions. I'm like, okay, you have substance.
00:48:45
Gabby
If someone has substance, I'm like, yeah, like maybe we could pursue.
00:48:49
Darshna Patel
you
00:48:49
Gabby
But the people who make you like... To me, pete I will feel like, so I'm not going to say small, but I'm going to feel like constricted if I'm trying to have a deep conversation and people just aren't reciprocating.
00:49:03
Gabby
And all they want to talk about is like literally nothing. Stuff that I just don't care about at all. like it I just don't feel safe to be myself.
00:49:10
Darshna Patel
Yeah.
00:49:13
Darshna Patel
I also think I used to have this big ass ego. like where it's like, I, and I mean, I still kind of low key do where in a sense where like, I want to like attract people to me. And especially as a projector, like I want to, I don't want to do all that extra work and just have my, my belief field do the work for me and just attract people to me.
00:49:33
Darshna Patel
But used to have this like, big ass ego where I was like, well, I was like, why do I have to like, tell them what to do in this friendship?
00:49:34
Gabby
And I'm not blessed to be to I'm going able to make it. I'm not going be able to I'm going able
00:49:42
Darshna Patel
Or like, why do I have like, out all the time? And why can't they like reach out more or like all of this stuff? And that's why I think that like communication piece that you mentioned is so important. Because like, I don't know if ever people ever feel that way, especially females in their friendships, but it's like, how do we create that balance within each other then like, with that healthy reciprocity?
00:50:08
Gabby
Yes. And Darsh, I feel like too, I've done this before where if I go like four.
00:50:13
Darshna Patel
Something want to add on to. Sorry.
00:50:17
Darshna Patel
um So also adding on to that, i also thought about this other day and I was like, okay, so females are wanting to tap more into their femininity, right? Well, then how do we cultivate even that balance when two females are trying to be in more in their feminine? Right.
00:50:34
Darshna Patel
But then we know that masculine and feminine dynamics, like there's always going to be someone that takes the masculine's like energy and the friendship, right? Even in friendships. But what if two females are working on cultivating their feminine?
Attracting Valued Friendships
00:50:47
Darshna Patel
How do we fucking navigate that and create balance? and Like...
00:50:55
Gabby
Josh, you'll never believe this, but my friend who's a one divided by three projector, we literally just had a conversation about this like two weeks ago. she
00:51:04
Darshna Patel
wow
00:51:05
Gabby
Basically, what we came to is difficult conversations are necessary. If you're both trying to be in your feminine, you will literally you need to talk about it because what'll happen is both parties will end up, it'll feel like a push and pull.
00:51:21
Gabby
Like one person really wants to receive, then the other person wants to receive too. And it's like, oh, well, that person's not giving to me. Oh, that person's making it difficult. Oh, that person's not prioritizing me. Like I want to receive. But which for me, it started creating a little bit of resentment. Like she wanted me to keep driving like an hour out to see her. And it was just like a she wouldn't come out to see me. And like it was a whole thing.
00:51:42
Gabby
And so it created this friction. And basically we had to have a conversation where is we both want to be in our feminine, that's fine. But we need to come together and find a compromise to know that we're both loved and we're both respected. And we're not trying to like take, take, take and have the other person have to give, give, give.
00:52:00
Darshna Patel
Hmm. How do you like ah that conversation?
00:52:02
Gabby
um
00:52:04
Darshna Patel
Like, what did that look like for you?
00:52:07
Gabby
Well, honestly, it was easy for me this time because she had just lost a friend for this exact same thing. And so that kind of gave me an open to be like, oh, yeah. So like I've actually kind of noticed that, too.
00:52:18
Gabby
um Maybe we should talk about it. But if this were to happen in like, let's say... like a different friendship. If I don't feel prioritized and loved, I mean, you can feel it.
00:52:31
Gabby
And we've talked about it before. It's like if a friend, if you are always the one reaching out, always the one reaching out and the friend is never reaching out to you. If you were to let them go for two weeks, they probably wouldn't text you. Like that, that to me is like a, okay, I'm giving too much and it's not going to be, it it doesn't feel good because it doesn't feel good to receive like that.
00:52:53
Gabby
But i would be like, hey, if this is a friendship I want to pursue, hey, I love you so much. Number one, I just wanted to check in and like make sure we're okay. And number two, um I've been feeling a certain type of way and I know it has nothing to do with you and I know it's like a me thing and like you know we're all experiencing our own reflections.
00:53:12
Gabby
But to me, it would be really valuable to... It means a lot to me to have friends that reach out to me first because it makes me feel like you're thinking of me. And it makes me feel like I matter to you versus if I were to never text you again, because I'm always the one putting in the effort, then we would probably never speak again other than Instagram, like hearts and comments.
00:53:22
Darshna Patel
Thank you.
00:53:34
Gabby
And that's, that doesn't make me feel loved. Since I value this friendship so much and I value you so much, I wanted to tell you how I'm feeling so that you and I can come to an agreement, figure this out so we can actually go forward, like, and both feel loved.
00:53:49
Gabby
That's probably what I would do.
00:53:50
Darshna Patel
I love that. I love that so much. Literally queen of communication. love how you brought that back to you because I think a lot of people like always point the other way of like, you're not, but you're not.
00:53:59
Gabby
Nice.
00:54:03
Darshna Patel
And it's like, that's, that's when we lose people. I used to do that before I learned like my communication skills, but, and especially with like my parents have been a big, like big area of life that has taught me a lot about myself.
00:54:07
Gabby
i
00:54:18
Darshna Patel
And even with them, I still practice that, but it's definitely been a big difference just bringing it back to you. I love that so much. Love that so much.
00:54:27
Gabby
oh but You're the best. I love you so much.
00:54:31
Darshna Patel
I love you too. Okay. So I, by the way, I've been like freestyling all my questions right now, like ever since, but I'm actually going to go into my little questions thing because I do want to ask you something else and want to make sure that we are able to
00:54:38
Gabby
love it.
00:54:49
Darshna Patel
I
00:54:50
Gabby
I've got all the time in the world, so i could literally talk to you all day.
00:54:53
Darshna Patel
don't want to make this way too, too, too long. Maybe like another 10 more minutes or so.
00:55:00
Gabby
yeah
00:55:00
Darshna Patel
Wrap this up because I feel like we talked about so much that even for me, I'm going to like go back and listen to this because it was so good. um But something and since you're the manifestation queen, I would love to see how we can create this dynamic.
00:55:16
Darshna Patel
But How can we basically create friendships? And I'm speaking for myself and anybody else that wants to create in this way.
00:55:29
Darshna Patel
How can we create friendships in a way where one, people love us for who we are and not what we do for them, but then two, also where they're basically like low maintenance in a way where like they don't require much from you, but you're always chosen. Like you're always prioritized. You're always the one that people want to hang out with all the time or that people reach out to all the time or that people want to be friends with. Like, it you know how you said that you like literally were actively pursuing the people that you wanted to become friends with.
00:56:04
Darshna Patel
How can you but the be the receiver of that and like create that dynamic for yourself of like, Oh my God, I'm the baddest bitch in the game. Like everybody wants to our friend and then like, it makes you feel so loved and so safe in being you.
00:56:13
Gabby
Thank
00:56:20
Darshna Patel
Like also like being able to show up the way that you show up without them like making a big deal out of it or anything.
00:56:29
Gabby
Darsh, this is so fun. I'm not even kidding you for the first time ever. Actually, not the first time ever. I feel like girls from intuition have like messaged me this, but literally probably three or four days ago, i was selling my couch to a girl and she walks in and I immediately know that I like her. I'm like, oh my God, like she's so cool.
00:56:49
Gabby
Well, couple, I don't know, couple sentences in, she's like, oh my God, I love your energy. She's like, would it be so weird if we became friends? And I was like, no, I love that. I literally love your energy too.
00:57:01
Gabby
And so we got each other's Instagram. She's like, yeah, like anytime you're in Boulder, like let's hang out. She leaves. I intuitively test. She's a 94% soul friend match to me. And she suggested we be friends and not you like, I don't know.
00:57:15
Darshna Patel
Amazing. Yes, that's what we want.
00:57:17
Gabby
but But what I would say to people who are just getting into this is there are physical things and there are emotional things that need to come together for any manifestation to happen. So the physical things, what would perceive to be physical things are, number one, stop hanging out with people who do things that you don't like to do and who, when you hang out with them or when you go to these places, you don't feel energized, you don't feel happy.
00:57:47
Gabby
like You want to make sure that you are doing the things and putting yourself in the room and in the places of things that you actually enjoy. So for example, intuition.
00:57:58
Gabby
have never made so many friends so fast because we are all so deeply into the same things. And even then, out of the 40, 50, 60 people or whatever we've met so far, I'm really only close with like six.
00:58:11
Gabby
But again, you put yourself where you want to be. You put yourself in the room. And do the things that you genuinely enjoy. That's like such a big piece of the physical side of things because if you continue doing things that you genuinely enjoy, that's the physical. You'll eventually find people who are into the same stuff as you and who probably want to be your friend.
00:58:32
Gabby
Number two, the emotional side of things. ah Again, this has only happened to me, i mean, it's probably happened like four times, but as far as like consciously just the other day, people pursuing me.
00:58:44
Gabby
What I've been working on, the emotional side of things, you need to be rooted to how you are the best of the best and how it can literally only be gotten from you. And you cannot be afraid of rejection.
00:58:56
Gabby
Rejection is uncomfortable. People feel weird. you know It's like online dating, right? it's like you People don't know how to act around each other. If someone doesn't text you back and you want to be friends with them, okay, that doesn't mean anything about you.
00:59:10
Gabby
How are they missing out? How is this not the time for them? So for me, really getting on, why am I the best of the best friend? Why am I the coolest person to hang out with? Why do I make people feel so loved? Like that's a big one. I know I make people feel loved like more than anyone else.
00:59:27
Gabby
And so the more I get rooted to the qualities that i provide in a friendship, because just who I am, That's how people start to pursue you.
00:59:36
Darshna Patel
Wow.
00:59:36
Gabby
Like...
00:59:37
Darshna Patel
I love that last piece that you said, because I know that I do this a lot for people, but I have not been even recognized. I'm so glad I asked this question. And I know for a lot of people listening, this is also go to be so valuable because yeah, like that one, that's something that's so easy for us to just connect to emotionally connect to you of like how i help people feel seen and loved.
00:59:47
Gabby
yeah
00:59:52
Gabby
Thank you.
01:00:01
Darshna Patel
And that's why i'm the best of the best. And, and just those, core things that you want to root to. And also the fact that you had even said like, that, you know, out of like the 40 something people, whatever in our little training ah mastermind, whatever is, whatever we want to call it, you have made six solid friends from that, right?
01:00:23
Gabby
Thank you.
01:00:26
Darshna Patel
Has there ever been a time for you where you felt like, you know, you had to pursue those friendships in the like keeping up in the little signal chats or like keeping up in the is like all of those people just reached out to you?
01:00:43
Gabby
Oh my gosh, Darsh. Full body goosebumps again. um These friendships, no. I don't feel like I have to pursue. But again, it's because you we're all in the same room versus the people who I see online. It's like we're not necessarily in the same room. I'm just seeing a TikTok that I really love or like I'm listening to a podcast I'm like, I love your energy.
01:01:02
Gabby
But since we're all in the same room, i don't really have to pursue. But that said, lots of people have lots of people. There's probably at least four who have reached out to me and like we will practice together or something, but I can tell we're not super compatible as friends. Like we get along just fine and like we're fine, but I can tell both of us are just like, we're like,
01:01:25
Gabby
we don't, we're not our people versus other people.
01:01:28
Darshna Patel
Right. Yeah.
01:01:29
Gabby
It just feels natural. And so, and you're one of those people. It genuinely feels so natural. Like you make people feel so cared about too. Like, um, and those types of things I feel really safe with versus other people might feel closed off or they might feel boring or they might feel like just something different than me.
01:01:45
Gabby
And for some reason where it's just not the puzzle pieces aren't fitting together.
01:01:49
Darshna Patel
I've definitely felt that with the same group that we're a part of as well. um Except i I would say like I would love to be more close with people, but I haven't really like my number is a lot shorter of like the people that i Maybe it's just because of my standard. Like i the way that I have or like the frequency creates more closeness for me. Like personally am realizing and understanding about myself that I actually love frequency, but I also like...
01:02:17
Darshna Patel
love it. And on my terms, I'm not gonna lie.
01:02:21
Gabby
Yes.
01:02:34
Gabby
I love it.
01:02:35
Darshna Patel
But it's interesting. And I love that that you share that because I think It's definitely the self-image thing and the best of the best and how it can only be gotten for me makes you become and feel so special. And people always want what's special. It's like another way of like feeling special, which is like one of the biggest keys to self-image.
01:02:55
Darshna Patel
Okay. So I have like two more questions that I want to ask you and then I like, you know, want to wrap this up. So one of my questions is for someone, if someone's listening right now and they may currently feel lonely and I do feel like a lot of the world actually feels lonely, even if they have a shit ton of friends, people are just not talking about this.
01:03:13
Gabby
Thank you.
01:03:18
Darshna Patel
But I do know and me included, like I felt this. It's been a big feeling in my life personally, too. of feeling lonely and um feeling like they're starting from scratch when it comes to their friendships, especially like adult friendships and like creating that sisterhood, right? That we all like deeply crave.
01:03:38
Darshna Patel
What's the first small thing that they could do this week, starting this week to like help them start in that journey of creating that for themselves?
01:03:49
Darshna Patel
Yeah.
01:03:50
Gabby
So the question is, what if you want like the sisterhood, the closeness with friendships, like what can they start to do to cultivate that?
01:03:58
Darshna Patel
Yeah, like if they feel like they're starting from scratch when it comes to those friendship those kind of friendships that they desire to have, like what's one small thing that they can start doing to help them on that track?
01:04:02
Gabby
Hmm.
01:04:13
Darshna Patel
Especially if they feel lonely and they feel like they don't really have a lot of friends.
01:04:18
Gabby
So this is such a good question. i i used to feel really lonely like back in the day, but it's been a while. So I can't fully, obviously, emotionally connect to like what it's like in that sense.
01:04:32
Gabby
But i will say where I would start every single person, and I swear to God, had I done this, I would have met all of you guys so much earlier. Like I would have cultivated and even deeper friendships that now that I had then.
01:04:48
Gabby
But what I would always start with, and this is like with every manifestation, number one, write out a list of the type of friends that you want to attract. It's literally setting the destination. So if you want to go to Gelato or if you want to go to New York, you have to type in where you're going, where you want to go and the GPS to finally get there.
01:05:07
Gabby
And to me, that's number one, step one, what kind of friends do you want to attract? Okay, perfect. What qualities do you like in a friend? How do you want to feel in your friendships? Get really clear on that, especially if you're feeling lonely, because if you're feeling lonely, we can get to the destination, but we have to know where what qualities place to like point the compass first. So I would make a list of like qualities that you desire in a friendship, how you desire to feel.
01:05:32
Gabby
Number two, a teeny tiny thing that you can do literally ask yourself, why would i be any like the bestest friend? Like why would anyone be lucky to have me as a friend?
01:05:41
Darshna Patel
Thank you.
01:05:45
Gabby
Those are two super simple things that you can start. And I do want to give one more tip, especially for the people who are like literally starting from scratch. is um do those two pieces first.
01:05:56
Gabby
But number two, Darj, have you ever seen or experienced where, like, online dating, where maybe, like, a guy has, like, a profile or whatever, and then you go and meet him, and he looks completely different than he does in the photos?
01:06:11
Gabby
Like, or...
01:06:12
Darshna Patel
All the fucking time.
01:06:15
Gabby
So that is the same...
01:06:16
Darshna Patel
wait f and I'm not manifesting that.
01:06:18
Gabby
but yeah No, exactly. But see, what happens is, especially when people are starting from scratch, there's usually a worthiness thing, right? There's usually ah fear of abandonment. There's usually a fear of loss or like a fear of I'm not good enough or a fear of like, are they actually going to stay? It's actually going to vibe. Like, does it mean anything about me? Like, or they've had friend trauma in the past. Like,
01:06:39
Gabby
but what people will do, and I've seen this and I've done it myself, is they will try to make themselves look better on on paper and like people please and like try to be like, oh, I like that stuff too.
01:06:52
Gabby
And I'm like, really? Have you ever actually seen that show? Like, oh, well, I've seen two episodes. it's like being your authentic self. um hello I'll use it in the dating example. Post pictures that you actually look like.
01:07:04
Gabby
Post things that you would actually talk about. And I'm telling you, you would get your partner so much quicker. And guys guys would too. It's the same with friendships. People can feel when you're trying to be something that you're not to impress them or try to make them stay.
01:07:18
Gabby
And so you don't want to do that. You don't want to be the catfish friend. You want to be your authentic self. And those people will naturally start to like you. A tree doesn't grow overnight too.
01:07:30
Gabby
Like we're planting the seeds, right? We're deciding what what kind of friends we want to have. We're starting to get rooted to why we're special, why we're the best and the best, why people would be lucky to have us. And then we're starting to own our authenticity.
01:07:42
Gabby
And that is the equivalent of planting a tree and watering it every single day. Eventually it's going to grow. might take a while, but eventually it's going to turn into a tree. Eventually you're going to naturally start to attract those friends without even having to try because you're being a magnet to them.
01:07:58
Gabby
And sometimes you might have to try. try, but I don't mind trying because I think it's fun.
01:08:03
Darshna Patel
Yeah, I don't mind trying either. I just like to try less.
01:08:09
Gabby
Well, the nice thing with you, Darsh, is you are so magnetic, right? You're posting your Instagrams. I see you on TikTok, and I literally stop, and I'm like, ugh. It just feels like a ray of sunshine. i'm like, I have to watch this whole video.
01:08:20
Gabby
like It just feels so good.
01:08:20
Darshna Patel
I have been obsessed with TikTok lately, by the way.
01:08:21
Gabby
Yeah.
01:08:23
Darshna Patel
Like I enjoy it so much more than Instagram, mainly because it feels more accepting and it feels more free than like Instagram.
01:08:30
Gabby
Yeah.
01:08:32
Darshna Patel
Like I feel like I can just literally push play and talk and post and like get my message out there literally so easily. And I think that's one of the biggest things and how I want to feel in my friendship is just feel at home.
01:08:45
Darshna Patel
Just feel safe.
01:08:46
Gabby
I love
01:08:47
Darshna Patel
at home. Like I can just be me and just have a great time.
01:08:53
Gabby
i love it. yes exactly
01:08:56
Darshna Patel
But I love that.
01:08:56
Gabby
oh
01:08:57
Darshna Patel
I love that you feel that I've been feeling that too about the tick talks that I've been making, which if you guys are not following me on tick talk, I am more active on there. And then all I do is just repurpose my tick talks onto Instagram. Now.
01:09:11
Darshna Patel
The only thing is I'm more active on the Instagram stories because that's still something I'm like used to. So it's kind of, it's fine. It's all perfect. Okay. So I want to wrap this up with one more question before we finish this um conversation. And I feel like you touched upon it a little bit, but like, I want to know if you have any other like suggestions, but okay. so what would you wish someone had told you about female friendships?
01:09:40
Darshna Patel
And I mean, healthy, fulfilling, loving female friendships and
01:09:41
Gabby
Okay.
01:09:47
Darshna Patel
a couple years ago that you know now that would have saved you so much heartache.
01:09:54
Gabby
Wow. Oh my gosh, Darsh.
Overcoming Judgment & Embracing Self-Worth
01:09:57
Gabby
I feel like the biggest thing is women are not out to get you. Women who are not out to get you.
01:10:05
Gabby
So real healthy friendships, beautiful friendships, beautiful people, they will not be intimidated if you DM them first and you ask them to hang out.
01:10:16
Gabby
Even if they don't reciprocate, doesn't mean anything about you. Like it literally doesn't mean anything about you. And had I known that, I would have been so much more confident because i was so judging myself every single day.
01:10:30
Gabby
and so I assumed that, oh, these high quality friends, like they wouldn't want to be friends with someone like me or like, oh, like that girl's really cool, but like she would, you know, I'm not good enough or like she's going to judge me or any of that.
01:10:43
Gabby
And the reality is the high quality people, number one, they're not judging you because they're not really judging themselves. They're really open. They're really sweet. Like Darsh, like perfect example. and And if for some reason a girl does not vibe with you, a female friend does not vibe with you, or someone you want to hang out with doesn't vibe with you, again, it doesn't mean anything about you. Why are you still the best of the best?
01:11:07
Gabby
Their favorite ice cream flavor might be vanilla. Does that mean chocolate is worse? No. It just might mean, it just might be that you're not their flavor, which also means that they're not your flavor too.
01:11:20
Darshna Patel
Yeah.
01:11:20
Gabby
And- So for me, that was the biggest thing, right? Like I was so afraid of these women because I was so afraid of judgment and not feeling good enough. But if you just know that women are not out to get you and it literally doesn't mean anything about you if if it's not reciprocated, that's just a sign. Okay, I'm not their flavor of ice cream.
01:11:38
Gabby
Perfect. That means they're not mine either. Move on to the next one. Eventually someone's going to love me or like what I'm giving. What is yours?
01:11:46
Darshna Patel
yeah Yeah, I think I think for me, um it's been really cool with the whole self image thing of just like turning the tables around of like, how well this person's not for me.
01:11:52
Gabby
Thank you.
01:11:58
Darshna Patel
It's because I don't really like everybody, to be honest, like, even though I love people, and one of my soul gifts is love, like I have the capacity to really love and I love hard and I really do.
01:12:10
Darshna Patel
doesn't mean that I love everybody. And what I mean by this is just because I, you know, I'm so open and i really love people. It doesn't mean that they are meant to be in my life and they are for me.
01:12:24
Darshna Patel
Like even, even with people that I may disagree with in my life, like I can accept people for the way that they are and still disagree with the shit that they say. but I respect that they still have an opinion and they're rooted to that.
01:12:34
Gabby
Thank you.
01:12:38
Darshna Patel
Like I can still respect that even though I disagree with it. So it's the same, I'm learning now more than ever that it's the same for me. I think for me, I've really worked, I've been working on the not good enough wound for a long time and like the worthiness.
01:12:52
Darshna Patel
And um for me, it was also like an ego thing of like what you said, like me reaching out to somebody, I'm like what like, who the fuck am I to Like, why am I doing this? Like people should just come to me.
01:13:03
Darshna Patel
But its it is an ego thing that I'm working on myself of like, I can, it's okay to reach out to somebody and want to hang out with them and like tell them that you want to be their friend. And that's okay.
01:13:14
Darshna Patel
Like we probably need to normalize that more than ever because I don't think that, I don't think women are actually doing that in the DMs.
01:13:18
Gabby
Yes. Yes.
01:13:22
Darshna Patel
Like I don't think that they're they're probably expecting, like you said with your friend, like they're probably expecting to hear that, but they're not initiating when they could. And I think that's what's causing lot of friction in feeling more safe to like, you know, do that with each other and create that balance with each other.
01:13:32
Gabby
happens
01:13:40
Darshna Patel
So honestly, like, I'm a changed woman today. Like, I'm actually going to start reaching out to people I may want to hang out with and like, not just feel like, oh, they need to come to me, which I still want to create that for myself.
01:13:51
Darshna Patel
Like, I would say 80% of the time people do that. And then 20% do. Because
01:13:59
Gabby
Darsh, can I see...
01:13:59
Darshna Patel
it's just good this way. And we're on a whole new feminine era. So might as well go balls to the wall with it.
01:14:06
Gabby
Dude, yeah. Okay. One thing that I wanted to add to was I wanted to be your friend last September. Like I really did. I was like, oh my God, like I should look her up. Like I should reach out, but I didn't have the self image yet to do so. And I remember literally thinking like, holy shit, like she's so cool. Like I like, I'm not cool enough yet.
01:14:27
Gabby
And then suddenly...
01:14:27
Darshna Patel
I don't know people intimidated, though, because I'm literally like a fucking golden retriever.
01:14:31
Gabby
but
01:14:32
Darshna Patel
Like.
01:14:33
Gabby
No, but that that just goes to show it's like an internal thing, right? So if you guys are struggling having friendships, making friendships, it's like turn the mirror back in
01:14:36
Darshna Patel
okay.
01:14:41
Gabby
Like, again, women are out to get you. Darsh, you would have been so receptive if I texted you and been like, oh my God, like I just saw you in the Q&A, like you're cool as fuck. Like i would love to hang. Like I know you would have been like, my God, girl, absolutely.
01:14:54
Darshna Patel
Yeah, I am with anybody that wants to pursue me.
01:14:54
Gabby
but- so
01:14:58
Gabby
Yeah. See, we have it in our heads that people are going to like reject us or think that we're weird or like whatever. And then, so or like, we're not ready or we're not good enough. So then we don't. But like, if you can stop making things mean so much about not you, but like everybody stop making things mean so much about you, you can put yourself out there.
01:15:17
Gabby
and if someone doesn't reciprocate, it doesn't, it doesn't matter. And you just keep doing it if you feel called. And now that I'm in intuition, I feel more brave.
01:15:25
Darshna Patel
i I think I probably feel have felt that way with pretty bitches because, you know, I've been working on attraction, like physical self image myself as well and the whole attraction piece.
01:15:27
Gabby
Yeah.
01:15:38
Darshna Patel
And i like having a pretty bitch gang. Like I like having pretty bitches around. Like I just, we love the aesthetic of like pretty things. And so when I would, when I used to like, and I'm still working on it and I'm getting better and better now more than before. But like when I would perceive somebody that's prettier than me or that has,
01:15:57
Darshna Patel
you know, all the success and the looks and like all of these qualities that I know that I have, but like, they just have it all like the whole package. And then I would want to be their friend.
01:16:08
Darshna Patel
Like I would feel a little bit of that myself. because one
01:16:11
Gabby
Yes. Yes.
01:16:12
Darshna Patel
Why would they want to be friends with somebody like me? But now knowing what I know about innate value and self-image is that people are not looking for how much you have. They're they're looking for how you make them feel.
01:16:24
Darshna Patel
yeah, Then at the end of the day, like just how I would think how she would make me feel like she would probably think the way that I would make her feel too. And if I didn't, then that's okay. Because least I at least I found out for myself. And that's what I owe it to myself, at least.
01:16:42
Gabby
I love that. Darch, phenomenal.
01:16:47
Darshna Patel
This conversation was so like transformative. Honestly, I feel like I'm going need to like re listen to this episode a few times to like, grab all the golden nuggets because I'm still on that whole friendship thing.
01:16:59
Darshna Patel
I think for me, I just need to actually reach out and like, put myself out there more. Like I do have my limits with social media. Cause like i i have this thing where I'm just like not the type of person that scrolls anymore.
01:17:11
Darshna Patel
Like I'm, I'm like creating that identity right now.
01:17:12
Gabby
Okay. Okay.
01:17:15
Darshna Patel
And so for my own mental health and like living, actually living my life outside of social media versus like on social media. But
Balancing Social Media & Real-life Interactions
01:17:23
Darshna Patel
um I do want to like cultivate more of that. like i I'll tell you this as a projector,
01:17:29
Darshna Patel
you know how we have this like whole thing as a projector of like wait for the invite like don't go up like go up to the thing i have actually felt that for the longest in person of like going up to people just makes me fucking cringe like unless there's eye contact and i'll wait then i'll say hi but like just Like, I don't know how people feel so comfortable doing that.
01:17:54
Darshna Patel
Because for me, I'm like, no bitch, come to me. Like, I don't feel, I feel like I'm intruding someone's space by like, going up to them and trying to like, be like, hey, you guys are fine.
01:18:04
Gabby
Okay. Perfect for you. Literally, when you're building out your list of your ideal friendships that you desire to attract and cultivate, going able to Literally put that as part. Like the the people who I'm meant to be friends with, like they come up to me, like my energy magnetizes to them. Like if that's a quality you want, literally do it. You can program anything.
01:18:25
Darshna Patel
Okay, I love that. I love that. Manifestation queen. I'm glad I fucking bought this up. Because I'm like, am I just being a conceited ass bitch right now? Like, am I just being like, just so lazy with this? But I'm like, no, like, if I get to have it the way I want to, why not? And it's not that I won't ever like,
01:18:42
Darshna Patel
you know, ah pursue anybody. but it's just I, I think for me, I've also spent so much time in my masculine for majority of my life.
01:18:44
Gabby
like
01:18:50
Darshna Patel
And I used to pursue people and give my time and energy to people that did not reciprocate with me because I wanted to be their friend so badly.
01:18:50
Gabby
ah
01:18:59
Darshna Patel
and so I've learned now that no more, like I'm going the whole other way. Yeah.
01:19:05
Gabby
i love that. Yeah, I love it, Darsh. Amazing.
01:19:09
Darshna Patel
Oh, thank you so much for just being on this podcast and sharing your wisdom. Like I know that my listeners and whoever listens to this podcast in the future is going
01:19:21
Gabby
Yes.
Friendship's Transformative Power & Gabby's Projects
01:19:21
Darshna Patel
to be fucking blessed with this kind of wisdom.
01:19:24
Darshna Patel
that we both shared and talked about. Cause like, I do know that, you know, everyone's talking about relationships out there so much and like secure attachment and detachment when it comes to relationships, like romantic relationships, but no one's really like diving into friendships.
01:19:38
Darshna Patel
And I know that that's something that people are craving and that they want that feels like a missing piece in their lives.
01:19:39
Gabby
yeah
01:19:46
Darshna Patel
And that is essential in their lives, but they don't really like know how to navigate that. Cause no one's really talking about it. So we are literally like fucking, changing lives just with this conversation. also I want, i want you to share like, where can people find you to learn more from you
01:19:58
Gabby
I'm so grateful.
01:20:05
Gabby
Oh my gosh. Thank you, Darsh. You can find me at Gabby Coded on Instagram and TikTok. That is where I'm at. You can also find my podcast, The Lens of Abundance Podcast, where we see the things that you don't like through an abundant lens and help you shift your life.
01:20:22
Gabby
But yes, feel free to DM me on Instagram. That is usually where I hang out. And Darsh...
01:20:27
Darshna Patel
Who makes it?
01:20:28
Gabby
I really hope like your thing is friendships. My thing is like, I want to be more authentic in career. so if you could come on my pod, we you could do an episode on that because you are someone who I genuinely just, I feel that from, and I want to learn from, from that. And I know people who listen to my stuff too would really love that. So.
01:20:44
Darshna Patel
Yes. Oh my God. I'm so down for that.
01:20:46
Gabby
Yes.
01:20:47
Darshna Patel
I would love that. um Thank you for thanking me for that. And um also, i don't know i know that you're, you have an offer coming out again. i know that you just finished the launch of your alignment codes workshop, but I know that you're going to launch that again.
01:20:58
Gabby
is
01:21:00
Gabby
mr
01:21:03
Darshna Patel
So do you want to like, just quickly share that so that in case anybody listens now and they want to like follow your work, at least they have like somewhere where they can at least, you know, get more connected with you.
01:21:12
Gabby
Okay.
01:21:16
Gabby
Darsh, you are so sweet. Look at you being an incredible friend. um Yes, I have an alignment codes program.
01:21:21
Darshna Patel
why
01:21:23
Gabby
It was my very first workshop ever. And it was so incredible. It is a deep dive into how to create, how to manifest and create the things that you actually desire in life. And this, you can access the replay, but this time it was really focused around money.
01:21:38
Gabby
And the next time we'll kind of, I use my intuition to see what you guys need and would benefit from the most. But again, we figure out where the actual problem is. We shift it. We learn the tools to actually help you align with what it is you want in the easiest, most aligned way possible. So it was so much fun if upgrading your money and learning how to manifest from start to finish and becoming magnetic to the things you desire to attract without having to try is a part of something you're interested in That is where alignment codes.
01:22:08
Gabby
comes in and I would love to see you there.
01:22:10
Darshna Patel
Amazing.
01:22:11
Gabby
amazing
01:22:11
Darshna Patel
Okay. So you said that the replay is available for purchase your website.
01:22:15
Gabby
yeah So the replay is available and then we're going to go, going to do it one more time live in December of 2025. And then that will be the prereq to any future courses we do in the future. Because again, i mean, Darsh knows we talked about it.
01:22:28
Gabby
Self-love, self-image, how you view yourself with money, with career, with relationships will determine what you receive and attract. And so just starting off, you don't need to go further, but if you did want to start somewhere, it is so powerful, impactful.
01:22:44
Darshna Patel
Amazing. Okay, so I'm going to make sure all the links are in the description box um of the podcast so that people can easily find you and also the alignment codes offer as well.
01:22:46
Gabby
I'm going to show
01:22:56
Darshna Patel
And i will also even say like, guys, Gabby is a badass bitch when it comes to money. Like she makes bank, she runs the Airbnb business, and she also has her, you know, coaching manifestation soul pool business as well.
01:23:12
Darshna Patel
And she's like a serial entrepreneur like I am. you know but We're both on this like million dollar vision fucking train of what we see for our businesses. So definitely like somebody that I would want to learn from as well when it comes to money. And if you haven't hit like certain levels in your business or in your personal life.
01:23:33
Darshna Patel
And I will say too, that like even everything that you probably share around money, like you can also implement in other areas of your life, like even friendships, because the self image work and all of that is always like foundational for anything.
01:23:47
Darshna Patel
so yeah.
01:23:47
Gabby
Yes, so true.
01:23:50
Darshna Patel
Amazing.
01:23:50
Gabby
Oh my gosh. Thank you for having me. I want to cry.
01:23:53
Darshna Patel
Of course. I'm so happy you're here and i appreciate you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
01:24:00
Gabby
I love you always. Thank you for having me.