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Rewriting the Story of Boredom (And Making Rest Feel Good + Safe Again)
12 Plays10 days ago
If you've found yourself always feeling the need to stay "busy" and doing something AND struggling with feeling safe to "do nothing" and just relax, this episode will help you uncover the emotional root cause of boredom and what it's telling you.
I've personally gone through this journey as a driven, ambitious woman to allowing myself to feel safe relaxing more (while still achieving). You will receive the mindset shifts, reframes, and understanding you need to start feeling safe in relaxing again! (even if you have big dreams)
Enjoyed this episode? Give it a 5 stars & share with a friend. Send me a screenshot of your review on IG @darshvibess (screenshot before you submit the review), and I'll send you a free gift ;) ORRRR just leave me a review anyway haha ilyyyy
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Transcript
Introduction to Boredom
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome back to the She's Next Level podcast. It's your girl Darsh and today I have a really interesting topic that I want to talk to you guys about and that is all around boredom.
00:00:16
Speaker
So have you guys like ever felt bored in your life where you felt like you feel like you've had a hard time relaxing? in your day when you have absolutely nothing planned for the day yet you still feel a sense of boredom when you try to relax or when you try to not do anything where you just feel like what am i doing like i need to do something or like i feel so bored right now because i'm literally just not doing anything that's like the level of
00:00:48
Speaker
boredom I'm talking about where you just have this feeling of I need to do something or I feel like I want to do something or what else can I do. This is definitely going to help you because I recently have been going through this and I've I've spent a lot of time, you know, alone and by myself for the most part. And I've I felt pretty bored in my life when I wasn't doing anything, when I was just, I guess, quote unquote, supposed to be relaxing.
00:01:19
Speaker
And I didn't feel like I could relax the way that I wanted to and just like fully immerse myself in it. And it's really interesting because this weekend... I honestly really didn't do anything at all.
00:01:33
Speaker
And I actually also allowed myself to not have a full plan for the day since I didn't have any plans where i was just like, oh, let me go to the gym. And then i don't know what I'm going to do after, but I'm just going to do that first. And then we'll see how I feel. Like I allowed myself to feel through my day and I ended up like,
00:01:51
Speaker
I would like, I wanted to go to like one of the outlets malls out here and I wanted to go shopping because I felt bored. I felt like I wanted to feel a spark and like do something fun.
Personal Choices and Contentment
00:02:04
Speaker
And it was really interesting because after my workout, I was like, I don't even feel like going. And it was not because i felt tired. I was not tired at all. But it was just because I wanted, i didn't want to travel and I just wanted to be with myself. And I was like, huh, interesting. So I spent honestly the entire day just relaxing, like really not doing pretty much anything.
00:02:28
Speaker
And i actually felt so present and I felt so so safe and relaxing for once. Like I literally was like the feelings that I would have gave myself by like going shopping and going out and like doing something. I literally felt those feelings where I was just so content and i was like, holy shit, like this is what relaxation should feel like. and this is what I've been wanting to feel like for my whole life. But you know I've just been out here trying to do the
Psychology of Boredom
00:03:01
Speaker
most.
00:03:01
Speaker
And now that things are shifting, I'm starting to understand and realize what you know why I may have felt bored and what it actually means, like the energetic kind of root causes, like the the reason behind why you may feel bored.
00:03:17
Speaker
And I'm starting to understand it. So I wanted to share that with you guys, because if you have ever dealt with this, I'm pretty sure every fucking person on this earth has dealt with some level of boredom in their life. And that's why a lot of people usually distract themselves and like do things that don't really feel in alignment for them or like overexert themselves when they don't need to, especially us females. Like we're not meant to be doing the most, honestly.
00:03:44
Speaker
Like the more i realize of all the shit that I've done in my life and like the healing the whole enoughness wound within me, the more I realize like i actually want to do less and be able to receive more like do less and achieve more do less and just live my life a lot more efficiently and effortlessly.
00:04:05
Speaker
so So first things first, before we get into like some of the reasons why you may feel bored, I really kind of want to normalize boredom in a way where you're not shaming yourself here of like why you may have felt this way, because there are a lot of great things that can come out of boredom. So if I was to reframe one of the ways that I look at boredom nowadays, it's really essentially for me, the feeling of inner peace.
00:04:34
Speaker
And so when I was able to actually reframe boredom. For me, it's just spaciousness and inner peace, where I'd rather feel that than feel like chaotic and feel like I have to do the most and like, do so many things that I don't really necessarily need to.
00:04:53
Speaker
And so that is like one of the ways that you can start to recognize boredom and reframe it where you know, maybe we can start seeing it differently of like, whenever you feel like that, you know, you can be like a rather feel at peace then feel like I'm doing the most.
00:05:10
Speaker
And it also allows you to like be more present in life. Like, especially me working on just being in that relaxation energy more and like really healing my fight or fight nervous system mode that I've been in my entire life, um being in like my wounded masculine for so long.
00:05:29
Speaker
It's definitely helped me in just giving myself the ability to be more present and to feel more of that inner peace. It really counteracts that feeling of feeling bored um just because you're content and you're enjoying the present moment. So that's one way that I've been reframing.
00:05:48
Speaker
Also, I just want to talk about like some of the ways and how boredom can show up in like some of the habits that you may develop. And let's I
Fulfillment and Distractions
00:05:59
Speaker
want to go straight into this. Like I don't want to like, because I feel like This is pretty straightforward in the way that I have understood this.
00:06:09
Speaker
So um the main reasons, in my opinion, from my experience of why boredom can occur in your life is one of them being that you're just not feeling full, meaning feeling like content with your life and fulfilled.
00:06:27
Speaker
And you know, it's it's crazy, but you'd be surprised of like how many people actually feel that way. And that's why they feel like they need to distract themselves to do all of these things because they just don't feel safe enough and comfortable enough to just literally sit with themselves and just be with their own thoughts and their emotions. And it just feels a lot more safer to not have to focus on that, not have to really ease into that versus just doing that.
00:06:56
Speaker
So that's one of the reasons, like just not feeling content and happy in life. And another reason is also like I've experienced this in my life of just a feeling of loneliness and that, I mean, i feel like a lot of people probably go through this too, especially after, since COVID, a lot of people have just been forced to like, just, you know, be more in the,
00:07:20
Speaker
the internet era of like work from home and just being home and like i don't i don't really feel like people are socializing as much as we used to man like i don't know what it is but just this feeling of loneliness that can happen from when you're feeling bored and again that's a lot of that's because you're just you're not happy with where you're at and you therefore you don't and so enjoy spending time with yourself because you're just not happy with yourself you're not happy with where you're at and so that's can be another one of the reasons and then also one of the biggest ones is us just being wired to do doo dood do do and
00:08:04
Speaker
yeah, like really distract ourselves from getting still within us and hanging out with ourselves because we are just programmed to just be on the constant hustle and grind and keep moving at it. And I do feel like there's a shift happening in the world where everyone is kind of tired of like that hustle mentality and like a lot of females are you know shifting back more into their feminine energy and leading from their feminine, especially like female entrepreneurs.
00:08:33
Speaker
And this is so good because this is exactly what makes us powerful. And this is exactly what we need. And this is exactly what has been missing all along. And the truth is, is that when you fully feel connected with yourself and you feel like you feel complete, that is literally when boredom cannot exist because you are so content that within that you are actually doing the things that you want to do and you're not doing the things that you feel like you have to do.
00:09:11
Speaker
And I've been there, man, and I'm still working through it. You know, like I still find myself like um getting tempted to like do this or do that. And I'm like, I pause, I pause. And I'm like, is this really an alignment for me? Or like, do I really just like, need to listen to my body right now and just like relax? Or what's the intention behind this? Like, what's the motive?
Habits Born from Boredom
00:09:34
Speaker
so One of the biggest ways that this has showed up for me, maybe it may show up for you too, but one of the biggest telling signs of boredom comes in food.
00:09:46
Speaker
It comes with our relationship with food or even alcohol, you know, or um spending time, you know, going out and partying or just doing things that we know are not like more in excessive amounts, but like doing the things that we also know that aren't like beneficial for us or we don't really feel like we want to do, but we're just doing it because it's kind of like an escapism for us.
00:10:12
Speaker
For me, it was really with food. Like I love food. I'm a big foodie. I love going out to different restaurants, trying new food. But I started to realize like even with food, I was you eating more than I needed to.
00:10:27
Speaker
because i was just not feeling content in my life. I was feeling bored. And so I would just go and grab for snacks at home and I would just start to like look for ah the next cafe to go to because i was i wasn't doing anything.
00:10:43
Speaker
so you just like want to, you know, watch out for those little habits that you may you know, be drawn to. And like, so it may be beneficial for you to start to recognize like, what are your habits that are causing you to, you know, make decisions from a place of boredom and escapism? Like,
00:11:05
Speaker
Another one is, you know, telling your friend yes to go out somewhere that you actually like don't really feel like going out to and you just want to rest and you just want to relax and like not honoring yourself.
00:11:17
Speaker
Things like that, like little small ways and how you do things out of boredom or going shopping is a big one, honestly. like shopping because you're bored but it's like ask yourself like do I actually need to do this like do I really need to do this or am I just doing this because I have nothing else to do and I started doing this a lot more and it really started to show me what my values are and like what I actually want to do and like I realized that I'm actually relaxing more. I'm spending time with myself just relaxing and um in some days, like barely doing anything. In other days, I'm doing a lot more, but it's not from a place of boredom. It's from a place of inspiration and alignment.
00:12:03
Speaker
It just feels different when you're moving from that place versus like when you're just bored. Oh, another big one is on TikTok. Scrolling on TikTok. Oh my God, that's a big fucking
Social Media and Disconnection
00:12:16
Speaker
one. Social media is a big one.
00:12:18
Speaker
I honestly, guys, have stopped scrolling. I am like literally reprogramming in my brain and becoming the type of person that just doesn't scroll because that can really get you just way out of ah disconnected from yourself, first of all. and just like a whole nother spiral down into other people's lives and like being so consumed in other people's lives and all the content out there that like it makes you even more disconnected from yourself and not to say that like you know don't watch other people's content it's just being very mindful of like if you're doing it because you're bored i even found myself going on hinge when i was bored
00:13:02
Speaker
Like when I would feel bored, i felt like, oh, I wanted to talk to a man and I wanted to feel, you know, that feeling that you feel as a female when you talk to men and like attractive and you want to feel hot. You want to feel like you're desired and you're chosen. And so I would find myself even going on hinge and like while I was bored and then I would find myself like, what am I doing here? Like, why am I on here after?
00:13:27
Speaker
Because I was just like, oh, it's because I was bored. I wasn't willing to just like be with myself and figure out like what's going on and give myself what it is that I need so that I don't do the things that are distracting that don't really feel like I want to do.
00:13:42
Speaker
Anyways, I feel like I've been on a whole rant about boredom.
Embracing Solitude and Presence
00:13:46
Speaker
But i guess all I want to say is what I've learned about dealing with boredom in your life is that, you know, when you start to enjoy spending time with yourself and feeling more content with your life, you And this really like happens when you're just starting to just notice the sweet, small, sweet moments of the day and you're just so present in life and you just start to really feel that gratitude for like everything that you have, like you really start to shift your focus
00:14:18
Speaker
into what feels good for me, what lights me up, like really into that playful, like fun, feminine energy. That's when you really start to diminish the feeling of boredom, at least for me in my experience.
00:14:32
Speaker
And I've also been really reframing relaxation. And the way that, you know, the world perceives laziness and relaxation, because honestly, everything is the way that you see things. And so I personally have been doing the most in my life, like I said. And so I really am like drawn to the other way of like living my life and still being able to achieve my goals.
00:14:58
Speaker
And so I started to you know, um embrace this idea that relaxation does become productive and it is, and it becomes something that I actually look forward to because I enjoy I get, I feel like I'm more clear minded and I feel more connected to my creativity and I feel like I'm energized when I allow myself to re relax and,
00:15:23
Speaker
And so just by realizing and shifting my perception around relaxation, i actually look forward to it more. and I don't see it as boredom. I don't see it as something that feels uncomfortable. I actually see it very productive. And I see it as an aspect of my life that I look forward to and that I actually prioritize in a way.
00:15:48
Speaker
and so when you're able to really shift the way that you see relaxation it really helps you shift the way that you see boredom and really gets you out of that like fight or flight mode and helps you kind of ease into your feminine energy more so you also don't feel as lonely anymore because you enjoy your time with yourself and you enjoy the present moment more So, yeah, I hope this episode was helpful for you guys.
00:16:17
Speaker
And I'd love to know if you felt this way, like connect with me on Instagram. Let's talk about it. I'd love to know like anything that you've taken away from this. And yeah, let me know if you're on the same like soft girl era of like relaxation.
00:16:32
Speaker
and um allowing yourself to be even more lazier, lazier and more efficient um in your day-to-day life. Also, be sure to subscribe to this podcast so you'll get notified whenever I drop episodes. I really don't have a set day of when I drop them. I am really, you know, embracing more of this fun, play, inspiring feminine energy and leading with my feminine more.
00:16:58
Speaker
So whenever that hits, you know, I allow myself to flow with it. And I prefer quality and alignment over quantity anyways, over like forced rushed energy.
00:17:10
Speaker
really like stepping away from that. So yeah, be sure to subscribe and also give this podcast a review. i would love to know what your takeaways are. I'd love to know how I can continue helping you guys and becoming your most radiant badass self.
00:17:27
Speaker
And I'll catch you guys in the next episode. bye