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Comparison Was Killing My Confidence, The Energetic Root Of Comparison , The Reason We Compare And How To Shift It For Good!
20 Plays1 month ago
As women we have all compared ourselves at some point in our lives, if you find yourself STILL comparing and your tired of it, this episodes for you. I share the realizations I've had these past 2 weeks, that has helped me shift my perspective and my energy around it where I'm barely doing it anymore. I also share a fun tool at the very end that i used to implement this shift.
Let's connect ;)
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Have feedback + topic requests? Email me: nextleveldarsh@gmail.com OR send me a DM on IG.
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Transcript
Recording Challenges and Environment
00:00:00
Speaker
feel like I wanna put my shades on for this. We about to talk about some heavy shit. Hello everybody and welcome back to the She's Next Level podcast.
00:00:11
Speaker
It's your girl Darsh and today we are outside. Yes we are. Mainly because the wifi at my house wasn't working And I was like, there's no way that I'm not recording a podcast episode for you guys today, especially around this topic, because I've had a couple of you reach out to me and that were like super interested in knowing more about this and like wanting to hear my perspective on it.
00:00:37
Speaker
So I was like, we got to get this out. And I am challenging myself right now as we speak by being outside in the public and by the cafe where there's people around and recording my podcast. So I'm proud of myself already.
00:00:53
Speaker
Okay.
Understanding and Addressing Comparison
00:00:54
Speaker
But we need to talk about this because ah i don't care how much inner work you have done. Okay. I don't care. I've been in this freaking almost 10 years now.
00:01:05
Speaker
And I still, this is the one that I still caught myself doing until two weeks ago. where I finally did something about it, literally. And so I don't care how long it's been.
00:01:17
Speaker
We have all done this, which is comparison. We have all done this at some level. And as we know, there's always going to be new levels to everything as we grow. And if you're here listening to this podcast and you follow me, you know that that's what we do here.
00:01:34
Speaker
That's what you're also committed to is just improving and bettering yourself and in a way where you see the best in yourself in every new level. I have a fun little tool for you at the very end.
00:01:45
Speaker
so stay tuned because it's something that I'm personally doing and I know it's going to be a game changer for you too. So I'm going to take you guys back to memory lane way, way, way back where this started for me, which was my whole fricking life.
00:02:02
Speaker
And The biggest difference was I just was not aware of it. You would think of all the inner work that I have done that I was aware of something like this and I wasn't.
00:02:12
Speaker
When I say I wasn't aware of it, I wasn't aware that I was doing it because I was pushing my emotions to the side. Because something I've noticed in the self-help world is where this whole like positive toxic toxicity,
00:02:29
Speaker
might is that the positive toxicity toxic positivity, whatever it is. And this whole essence of like, even when it comes to manifesting too, it's like this whole essence of like, you know, you shouldn't be thinking about negative thoughts or negative things. You're going to manifest that. Or like, you're doing the inner work now. It's not good to think about those things, but bitch, you're human.
00:02:52
Speaker
Okay. You're human. You are a spiritual being in a human body having a human experience. Like the point of coming down here on earth was to experience all of it.
00:03:04
Speaker
Okay. So i do feel like. Having those feelings now that I see the way that I see them now were actually very necessary and essential in my growth because I wouldn't have done something about it like I did two weeks ago.
Emotional Awareness and the Law of Reflection
00:03:19
Speaker
But essentially, when we're pushing our emotions aside and we're not addressing the thing like I was, I wasn't addressing it. then where it's going to keep coming up in our lives.
00:03:32
Speaker
And it's going to get worse and worse and worse. This is called the law of reflections, which I'm not going to get into it in this episode, maybe another episode, because it's a very important universal law.
00:03:42
Speaker
But would keep coming up until you're finally ready to do something about it. So this was the story of my life. And I found myself comparing to the level of like, feeling less than feeling envy, feeling jealousy, whether it was a stranger, even some of my friends, I'm not even going lie.
00:04:03
Speaker
It was a feeling of just not feeling good enough and feeling like I didn't matter and that I wasn't important. I wasn't special. I wasn't unique.
00:04:15
Speaker
I mean, those two things are like the key, the freaking key to not find yourself comparing is really, which I'll get into later, but Those two things are the key to actually manifesting the things that you want and obviously not feeling the comparison as much.
Overcoming Comparison with Energy Work
00:04:36
Speaker
So anyways, two weeks ago, shit blew up in my face. It was like I was having ah reflection city up in here and just having like comparison pop up in many different areas of my life and it was just happening and I was just feeling so crappy about myself and I was like,
00:04:57
Speaker
There's something here. There's something here that needs to really shift. And I was like, I'm finally doing something about it. Finally. No more. No more. We're done. So... I was able to shift, I would say around, I've shifted around 80% of comparison, which is pretty impressive. i'm not going to lie for like two weeks from going from like complete, like always feeling that to like how I feel now.
00:05:23
Speaker
And I did that through like energy work, which you guys know i preach. I feel like it's literally the hack to like get yourself where you want to be and reprogram your mind. and and also some things.
00:05:36
Speaker
subconscious reprogramming tools that I usually do. i feel like the energy work was like the needle mover for me. And I do plan on, you know, sharing some of that with you guys in the future, and any future offers, I'm just really in the experimentation mode right now and playing around with different types of energy work and what it can do.
00:05:55
Speaker
Because I really when I put anything out there, like I really do want it to be something that I know works for sure for me, but also other people and like it is legit. It is 100% something that I would die for.
00:06:09
Speaker
die hard. But um yeah, it was definitely a ah big change that I feel internally. And that's what's most important is you feeling that internal shift within you, because the external is going to follow, but you feeling that within you is the most important.
The Role of Social Media in Comparison
00:06:27
Speaker
And I'm not going to lie, like there are, you know, I said 80%. So there are certain times where I'm feeling a little bit like a trickle of that coming in. And when I do, I catch it, and I shift it.
00:06:39
Speaker
And i actually feel even more empowered than I ever did. So it's not really coming up as much anymore. My intention with you guys in this episode is to share my perspective and what I've done that has helped me shift this whole comparison thing into actually feeling more confident, feeling more empowered about myself, feeling more rooted in who I am, and why I'm special and why I'm unique.
00:07:09
Speaker
Speaking of feeling special and unique, I feel like what causes comparison in the first place is being disconnected from those things. Those things that you actually truly are, but we just weren't taught to see that.
00:07:21
Speaker
And that goes way back to like social media days when social media first started. i feel like we have so much access to people all around the world. And while that is a good thing, what comes with that can be comparison because As we all know, everything that you see online is just what you see online, but it's not always 100% the truth.
00:07:44
Speaker
And not everybody is fully sharing their lives completely and ah sharing all aspects of their life. And we're human. So you have to understand that even if someone shows that their life is the best and they're achieving all these great things and that they're always seems like they're winning all the time, it's not always the truth.
00:08:06
Speaker
Because we all have shit going on. And if you really were to sit down and have a conversation with them and like ask them, hey, is there anything that you do struggle with?
00:08:17
Speaker
They will tell you. And if they don't tell you, then they're lying to themselves and they're lying to you essentially. Because everything has their own thing. And so it's important to kind of step away from the noise and really like really assess and look at everybody. Trust your intuition more than anything, but really like look around and understand that even if someone seems like they're winning in their life in one area and it seems like it just keeps getting better and better, you don't know what they did.
00:08:50
Speaker
First of all, you don't know what they did to get there and all the inner work that they may have done that they're not sharing. But you also don't know what their soul signed up for, their soul contract, which is like something that we all have. We all came down here for a special purpose and a mission.
00:09:06
Speaker
You don't know what that is. And it doesn't really help you in comparing that and your own, because even if you meet someone that has like similar um qualities and traits as you and like similar ideas, you guys are still very different in your own way.
00:09:24
Speaker
And you guys have very different challenges and stories and things that you guys go through. And that's what makes you special and unique. That's what makes you, you. So there wouldn't be any comparison.
00:09:38
Speaker
So I do want to kind of like start with social media here because I do feel like that's the very first place that we start to compare ourselves. I mean, I think about the time when social media did not exist. I fucking loved it.
00:09:50
Speaker
Like, I don't, I did not really feel like I was doing so much of that until social media started. And then it was like amplified. Because I was as a kid, little bit here and there, but it wasn't until social media came along. And then it just got super amplified. And now I was able to see like, everything out in the world, and what people are doing. And it's just like, who gives a fuck?
00:10:15
Speaker
Really? Like, who gives a fuck? Like, I care, but I don't really care. Period. I feel like there are two main ways that we tend to compare ourselves to somebody else.
Triggers of Self-Comparison
00:10:27
Speaker
And one of them is this feeling of lack where we see something that somebody has and we feel like we don't have it. that can spark that within you. But I also feel like another one is um feeling less than this was one that I was doing, guys.
00:10:44
Speaker
And this was that me like, even though I know like what my gifts are, i was comparing my gifts to somebody else and feeling like my gifts weren't good enough compared to them because they they seemed so talented to me.
00:10:58
Speaker
or they seemed so good at what they did that I forgot about my own gifts. And I wasn't feeling like, wow, my gifts were good enough too. And just as good and just as special and unique. And the problem with these types of comparisons that we make is that it, it tends to overwhelm you.
00:11:16
Speaker
It can make you overextend yourself and go into people pleasing mode. It can also make you just fall out in love with yourself. So I do believe that self-love is the most important thing, least for me, has changed the game for me and being able to prioritize myself and put myself first and really honor my energy and
Shifting from Comparison to Confidence
00:11:40
Speaker
myself the most. And when you're comparing, youre you are out of love with yourself.
00:11:45
Speaker
You're not seeing how amazing you are. You're not putting yourself first. You are... disconnected from you. What really helped me shift my perspective with comparison and really get my brain behind it was understanding this metaphysical universal law.
00:12:07
Speaker
The law of mirrors, it's pretty popular, but the understanding of it is knowing, and this is scientifically metaphysically proven by the way, that whatever you see in somebody, you also have within you because you wouldn't be able to see that.
00:12:22
Speaker
It wouldn't be in your level of awareness if you didn't have that within you. So, which gets me to the next point is that whenever we find ourselves comparing Technically, you're comparing because there's somewhere deep down within you that you know that you have the same level of talent or qualities.
00:12:47
Speaker
And of course, because you're special and unique, you display it in your own way, but you have that within you too. You wouldn't be able to see it. You wouldn't be able to notice it if it wasn't within you, whether it is activated within you or not.
00:13:02
Speaker
That's something that you know, but you either have that within you already that you displayed in a different way, or you have the potential within you and you haven't unlocked it. You haven't unleashed it yet.
00:13:15
Speaker
And that's showing you that you can do that too. So just understanding this really helped me understand how special and unique I am and how capable I am and how Whenever I see something that really inspires me in somebody, to not put them on a pedestal and to actually notice that, wow, I'm only seeing that because I know I have that within me too.
00:13:43
Speaker
I'm not going to lie. When i heard this concept in the way that I just explained it to you guys and I started my self-image journey in the very beginning, I was not getting it.
00:13:55
Speaker
I was still comparing myself and I was still finding myself feeling less than, But i do feel like what really helped me is me actually being in my soul pull, soul desire career, which is like podcasting and me um creating a personal brand for myself. It was me investing myself and my time into the things that actually light me up.
00:14:19
Speaker
And through those things, I have been able to learn more aspects about myself and really allow myself to fully express myself in the way that I desire to.
00:14:30
Speaker
Again, being in that desire energy versus obligation energy. And that's what's really helped me tap into what makes me special, what makes me unique, because I do feel like deep down,
00:14:43
Speaker
When we hear this concept, our soul knows it. At least I know that I did. But my brain wasn't on board and I just wasn't really getting it. Like it wasn't making sense. But I feel like the more that we strive towards allowing ourselves to do the things that we enjoy and putting ourselves first, which is self-love, unconditionally loving ourselves, which is loving ourselves no matter what and seeing the perfection in both the good and the quote-unquote bad,
00:15:10
Speaker
And really shifting the way that we perceive ourselves and the way that the world perceives us because life is literally a mirror,
Intentional Social Media Use
00:15:19
Speaker
guys. Like literally it is like I always say, it's your world and everyone's just living in it.
00:15:26
Speaker
That's like the best way I can put it. That's when you really start to shift out of comparison because you are just living in your world. You are focused on you, what you're doing, and you're not looking elsewhere like we do on social media.
00:15:40
Speaker
I mean, we all do, but not me now. Like literally guys, some of the things, what I do, what I do on social media now is I literally just like post and I'm out.
00:15:52
Speaker
I may catch up with some people that I'm you know close with, but I just scrolling on social media is just not for me. I really, i think like for the longest, I've always seen social media as like a business for me. And it was like that purpose, even back when I was like doing network marketing,
00:16:09
Speaker
I would obviously like prospect is what they call it, and network and like connect with people. But I had my limits because i was very intentional with that. I wasn't really just mindlessly scrolling and allowing myself to just get lost in everyone's world because that's just where it all starts with what we talked about.
00:16:29
Speaker
But I was very intentional and I highly encourage you to be intentional with the time that you spend on social media, because even when you're thinking that it's not happening and the comparison thing, it can tend to happen if you really haven't nipped it in the bud and you just want to make it easier for you to ah shift this.
00:16:48
Speaker
Just make it easier for you. And then the next level challenge that I did for myself for this was, you know, being able to be on social media and look at someone's content and not feel anything, literally not feel anything towards it.
00:17:06
Speaker
Actually, it was me being able to see the positives and also the equal amount of negatives in whatever they posted in however way that they're showing up, being able to neutralize and see both sides.
00:17:19
Speaker
of that really helped me not put them in a pedestal, but also helped me just not take it personally because nothing's really ever personal. Again,
Societal Norms and Self-Awareness
00:17:30
Speaker
life is literally just a mirror and how you see something is how you're actually seeing within yourself.
00:17:37
Speaker
Because I feel like women do this often. They compare themselves a lot. I know men probably do too. But I feel like we're just programmed to compare ourselves to other women and how pretty we are or how accomplished we are, like what kind of man we have when does it really fucking matter?
00:17:58
Speaker
Because we have to even ask ourselves if that is something that we actually want to. I remember finding myself having shiny object syndrome and I would just literally want to everything and anything that I see that seems good for me.
00:18:15
Speaker
Right. Quote unquote, seems good for me. But it wasn't until I started discerning and being very intentional with like, is that something I actually want? And intuition, training my intuition has really helped me with this because I'm able to just tap in.
00:18:29
Speaker
to my higher self and just be like hey is this something that is for me is this not and so what we see in the world we find ourselves comparing as well because we think that that's something that we want but we truly don't even know half the people this world Let me fill you in, girl.
00:18:47
Speaker
Don't even know what the fuck they want. Okay. They don't know. and I know because that was me.
00:18:56
Speaker
That was me before I started healing my self-image and also learning how to connect with my intuition, and my higher self. to really like understand myself on a deeper level but we can get sidetracked i mean i know if i was that was happening to me i'm pretty sure there's a lot of people was happening too There's just too much noise, you know? And so you gotta be able to discern what's for you and what isn't.
00:19:23
Speaker
And you won't, half the times you won't find yourself comparing because you know what's for you
Embracing Individual Journeys
00:19:29
Speaker
and what isn't. So it doesn't matter because you know what's best for you, period.
00:19:34
Speaker
And I know that we're all on different paths and different levels in our journey, specifically related to this. But if there's anything that I want you guys to take away from this episode,
00:19:46
Speaker
If you ever do find yourself comparing, girl, I want you to remember this and I want you to embed it in your brain, okay, all the way in there, that these bitches out here can't even come close to what you're doing.
00:20:04
Speaker
Literally. They can't come close to all the reprogramming work that you're doing, the inner work, the emotional mastery and you not lashing out like a loose cannon out there. Your stories, your lessons, your challenges, all of that, everything that you've learned, we all have different paths.
00:20:22
Speaker
And we all have different lessons to learn. So they can't come close to that. Nobody can. If you're going to compare, make it work for you. Make it work in your favor. Personally, I would just say to get rid of it because when you know how special and unique you are and you know what your mission here is on earth, then you're just going to focusing on that. You're not going to be looking left and right. You're going to be like,
00:20:45
Speaker
One way tunnel, tunnel vision. And just even when it comes to like content ideas, guys, I don't look at what people are doing. I think about what I feel like doing the way that I want to do it. And I just do it.
00:21:00
Speaker
I let my creativity express itself in the way it wants to be expressed. So allow yourself to just express yourself, be yourself and actually see the best of yourself without looking left or right.
00:21:14
Speaker
And also appreciating the beauty around you. Because when you're so rooted in who you are, and you know how special and unique you are, you are appreciating that outside of you too. You are expressing that outside of you too.
Tools for Self-Acceptance and Growth
00:21:26
Speaker
so My girl, I have a fun tool for you to implement. If you are truly ready to shift from comparison and start really understanding who the F you are, really connecting to how special and unique you are, then this is gonna be really helpful for you. I've been implementing it for the past two weeks now, and it has helped me so, so much and actually helped me understand myself better and like connect with myself more.
00:21:56
Speaker
So it's basically what I call an ingredient, AKA an emotional belief. And the difference between and affirmation and this is actually emotionally connecting to the statement.
00:22:11
Speaker
So finding small, tiny ways in your day to day life where it's actually true or maybe you've had a memory where that was true you want to connect to that because that's what's actually going to help reprogram and create that new neural pathway in your brain and actually help you start to notice that more and feel that more and it's really just repetition with this but i mean even within two weeks i was really able to shift a lot from just this ingredient so this is the ingredient
00:22:46
Speaker
It is whenever I see something that lights me up in someone, it's showing me the potential I'm meant to embody within myself. i'm going to say that again.
00:22:58
Speaker
Whenever I see something that lights me up in someone, it's showing me the potential I'm meant to embody within myself. And I love this because it's literally everything that I've been talking about.
00:23:12
Speaker
Whenever you see something that is lighting you up in someone, whether you're inspired by the way someone shows up online or the way that someone does something, you have that within you too. Whether you already have it and you've noticed it and you have memories to back that up or You may not have had that yet, but you know you have the potential to have that because you wouldn't feel pulled by it or drawn by it noticed it.
00:23:40
Speaker
And so now you can start to allow yourself to start showing up in that way just by having that level of awareness just from that. And therefore, you wouldn't compare yourself as much because you're like, yeah, I have that too. Like, I've been showing up in that way too, and I do it in my own way, which makes me more unique and special.
00:23:59
Speaker
Well, I don't want to say more unique and special because we're not really comparing each other here, but which makes me unique and special because there's only one of me. There's only one of you.
00:24:10
Speaker
I'm special. You're special.
Actionable Steps and Listener Engagement
00:24:12
Speaker
We're all special, period. So therefore, there is no comparison needed. Period. End of story. is This is something that I wish that I had an understanding of years and years ago.
00:24:26
Speaker
But everything is perfect as it all unfolds. And I'm just glad that I was able to really shift it two weeks ago. just based on these understandings and obviously the energy work, which I'll share one day with you guys, but also like the reprogramming work with one of the things that I just shared with you, the ingredient and really just allowing myself to also just unconditionally love myself in this journey.
00:24:54
Speaker
I don't want you to beat yourself up or be hard on yourself. Actually, that counter interacts the work that you're doing. And i want you to just give yourself grace Now that you have the tools, you have the awareness, what are you going to do with it?
00:25:09
Speaker
That's the biggest question. People are constantly learning and gathering information and they know what they need to do. But when are you actually implementing it?
00:25:20
Speaker
So I want you to implement it. I want you to give yourself permission to just make a tiny shift in your energy in the way that you show up. Give yourself permission.
00:25:31
Speaker
Just do it. Nothing's going to change. Nothing's going to happen. You're not going to die. That's what I always tell myself when I'm doing something that's like unfamiliar to me. You're not going to die. and how that would even be the best thing ever if I did.
00:25:44
Speaker
But your girl's not ready to go yet. so So thank you for tuning in today. I hope that this episode... no I'm not even going to say I hope. I know somebody out there that this episode...
00:25:59
Speaker
helps you compare yourself less. And I want to hear about it. Okay, I want to hear about it. i want you to message me on Instagram in the DMs and let me know what you took away, even if you had 1% shift, or who knows, maybe an 80% shift like me.
00:26:16
Speaker
You never know. I want to know. i want to hear about it. I love you so much. And i will catch you guys in the next episode. Bye!