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break-up court
2.2k Plays30 days ago
s3e5: deciding whether or not to break-up with your significant other? take it to break-up court.
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Transcript
Introduction and Mishaps
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey, Chris. Hi, Eames. What's up? I have to tell you something. Oh, my God. Okay. Should i three-way Peyton Yeah, call P. Okay. Hello? Hey, Eames needs to tell us something. I'm three-waying you in. Okay, immediately.
00:00:13
Speaker
Okay, so... We're back. Hey, girls. Hey, besties. Hold on. First of all, Kristen, did we just see your vagina? Oh, maybe. Maybe. can you like not i don't want to edit that or it's going to be hard to edit you know yeah in video like can you just like tilt your camera up or something yeah well i was trying to put like a blanket over your vagina no i think i'm good are you wearing underwear no it's her literal vagina i just saw because i i like saw it and i was like wanted to be able to gaslight myself that it was your underwear
00:00:50
Speaker
But also, i don't we don't need to see the underwear either. it's just there's I'm getting shorts. One second. Okay, just get it out of the frame, perhaps.
00:01:00
Speaker
I was worried about the boobs at first because I was like, if we there's if there's a nipple, like there's no video that's usable. you But I saw a vagina.
00:01:10
Speaker
I can't.
Introducing 'Breakup Court'
00:01:11
Speaker
So here's the tea. We are doing a new series today called Breakup Court where you guys have submitted, you know you know, hey, I kind of want to break up with my boyfriend or some of you submitted on behalf of a friend.
00:01:27
Speaker
So, hey, I actually want my friend to break up with their boyfriend. um And we're going to go through the stories. We're going to kind of each make a case on what we think the solution should be.
00:01:39
Speaker
And then from there, you know, it's up to you. But essentially, we're going to approve or deny whether or not we think you should be breaking up.
Housekeeping and Ignored Moments
00:01:46
Speaker
um Don't we have some housekeeping, though, before?
00:01:50
Speaker
What mean by housekeeping? um Just a couple housekeeping items. We never got around to your story last episode and we didn't notice until I had been through three times and edited. And I said, hey, you actually never said anything.
00:02:08
Speaker
So, yeah, I was actually too embarrassed to say that I didn't say my story because it felt like when you're in a group. of friends
Catfishing Story and FBI Investigation
00:02:15
Speaker
and like you try to say something and then like no one hears you or something and you have be like hey guys like I was actually saying something so I just like yeah we should probably just like wrap it up now like because what was I supposed to say like let's if we are reenacting that right now I'm like hey guys um actually like didn't tell my story yet can we extend a 40 hour long episode and we don't go over 45 minutes normally so I can actually tell It was just so awkward because like then you didn't say anything and then I didn't realize until literally editing it.
00:02:45
Speaker
and then it's like – Then everyone has to sit through my story. Like we already decided how exhausting we were. you have like a little story you want to share that you were that you had prepared?
00:02:57
Speaker
Um, we can talk about it on a different episode, but I'll, like, give you guys... This is a little snippet. This is just the intro. A little taste into the story I was going to tell was the time that my, like, best friend from high school, who was a gay man, um was catfishing...
00:03:17
Speaker
As a girl and in an online relationship with my ex-boyfriend and didn't tell me until he was drunk blackout party years later. He
Beyonce Concert and Oprah Encounter
00:03:28
Speaker
didn't tell you?
00:03:29
Speaker
No, he didn't tell me for years. Okay, then what was the point of doing that? Because it's like. Oh, no, because he, for one, like. it's kind It's like such a long story. He basically went to jail for extortion because he was catfishing as a girl to like multiple athletes um and actors.
00:03:50
Speaker
And so he would say like, hey, I have your nudes. I will leak these unless you give me like $5,000. This is when he was in college. Oh, so he wasn't doing this to but like get back at your ex because he like hated him. No, no. This was just one of his many… but Yeah, for his own pleasure.
00:04:06
Speaker
And also like he…
00:04:09
Speaker
It's like a whole thing. But yeah, basically, he did it to the wrong guy who hired a private investigator who tracked his IP address back to his dorm. The FBI showed up at his dorm. He told everyone he was going to London for six months and actually went to jail for extortion.
00:04:23
Speaker
So when he heard me crying to him about my breakup, about my boyfriend at the time who was messaging a bunch of Instagram girls and like very explicit things, as you guys know, if you listen to the solo episode with me and Kristen, that's the sex.
00:04:38
Speaker
um He was probably like fucking hard thinking about like, oh shit, I could catfish him and have these kind of conversations with him. Right.
00:04:49
Speaker
So did it like for his own pleasure or on whatever. And it brought it up like while he was drunk and was also trying to like one up me on like facts that he knew about him.
00:05:03
Speaker
And it was like very bizarre. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's another one of those like one-of-one experiences. Yeah. It's like an isolated experience.
00:05:16
Speaker
I'm really sorry we didn't give you the platform for that ah whole story. It's fine because black women in this country are constantly getting paraded and silenced.
00:05:30
Speaker
Let me just finish that for you. Silenced. Silenced. Yeah, exactly. We're actually representative, like, of our our country right now and, like, the world and, like, things like that. So I'm actually glad we were able to, like, really show that.
00:05:42
Speaker
Yeah, bring that up. That actually
Editing Quirks and Teasing
00:05:44
Speaker
speaks volumes for, yeah, the political climate that we're in um And we can get to that in a later episode. But – Oh, wait. I did want to say one other thing. Okay. – Whenever we left off in last episode – I was going to Beyonce and in the first 20 seconds of her ah performance, she blew my mind and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, but she said everyone's, you know, she comes out, everyone's fucking going crazy, blah, blah, blah.
00:06:23
Speaker
And she, she stands there and smile and says, oh be have, She said, oh, beehive, like, oh, behave.
00:06:33
Speaker
And my my brain broke. It was like ah full stand-up set routine in one word. um I could have left at that moment, didn't need to see anything else, didn't need to hear anything else.
00:06:49
Speaker
It was really incredible. And it's also really hard to do that. oh ah Like, oh, beehive. It's really hard to do. Yeah. ah And so – Iman, did she do that at your shows or was that just opening night?
00:07:04
Speaker
No, she didn't do that. I've gone to the show twice now um in the past week and she
Breakup Court: Outfit Criticism
00:07:09
Speaker
didn't do that on either. Must have just been for the opening night people. I wonder if she got feedback that was like, I think maybe we don't do that one again.
00:07:19
Speaker
They're like, we're getting feedback from the wrong girls. Yeah, I think it was like they got that one. um No, I also I'm glad she isn't doing it every night because I don't want that to be written. It felt like really like in the moment and special yeah and like no one else would kind of get it, I guess.
00:07:38
Speaker
Except for Oprah. Anyways, Kristen's trying to subtly drop in that she sat right next to Oprah in the suite she was in for Beyonce. Right, right, right, right. Kristen doesn't like overly share in way that makes it seem like she's bragging. So she had to like drop in that she was sitting next to Oprah. And do you want to share like any experiences you had with her or did you want to move on?
00:07:59
Speaker
um We can – well, i quick I will say my friend Skady did take the opportunity to speak to her and I walked away and disassociated completely because I was great too freaking out.
00:08:13
Speaker
Yeah. So is that – are we done with our housekeeping? Yeah. Oh, yes. The last thing on my list was i did say evil playing fields instead of equal playing fields twice in an episode. And meaning like my brain didn't catch it both times.
00:08:33
Speaker
And then I was editing and you can't really like make notes like that. And I wasn't cutting it. So I just wanted to say that. And also that I think it's really cool and strong that Iman is normalizing um not knowing the definition of words. I think a lot more people should do that.
00:08:50
Speaker
And while we're on this topic, I wouldn't have prop probably brought this up on my own, but you brought up how you said, like, used the wrong phrase just now. And you actually do that very often. and I don't bring it up.
00:09:05
Speaker
So – um A couple of examples is that actually last episode you said music instead of music. And I didn't want to bring it up in the moment, but you were in the middle of a story that would have been fucked up. But I will take the opportunity to say it now because fuck you.
00:09:19
Speaker
Bring that up. And then also you do say fuck. Which one is it that you say wrong? You say music is just a good choice. No, no. You actually like stumbled over your words and it was like maybe we can insert the clip. I'll probably find it. But no, you all say, oh, my God, what is it?
00:09:36
Speaker
Iman has everything locked away in her brain. know. She's like, I'm glad you brought this up. She's such a Virgo. I've been fucking dying to. You say, Kristen, I've called you on this so many times. What's the word? It's like a word.
00:09:48
Speaker
Oh, oh, Fuck. Right? I know. You what talking about. i know. Fuck. I can't remember it. um But when I do remember it, I will be bringing it to court.
00:10:01
Speaker
Okay, cool. Because fuck you again. um Now we're going start the breakup court episode. um I'm going to read some submissions from you girls and then we'll decide.
00:10:15
Speaker
We'll decide. Leave or stay. Here's the first one. My boyfriend
Breakup Court: Mismatched Libidos
00:10:21
Speaker
of six years and I had planned a special day to enjoy some delicious food and explore a popular area in Texas.
00:10:27
Speaker
I was – oh, I should probably mute. When he came out of the shower and saw me, he looked me up and down, then made a strange face. I asked if something was wrong, and he simply replied, nothing.
00:10:40
Speaker
As we headed to the car, I asked if he was excited for our plans. He flatly said, yeah. The entire drive was silent. Despite the tension, we went through the day. Lunch was great, and we did everything we'd planned, but the energy between us felt off the whole time.
00:10:55
Speaker
I kept wondering if I had done or said something wrong. When we finally got home, he looked at me and said, Looking at your outfit ruined my entire day. Why don't you dress more feminine? Currently having some difficult conversations with him as we re re-evaluate our relationship.
00:11:10
Speaker
We have so much history together. to remind you guys, she said they've been together for six years. And part of me holds on to that, but I'm starting to ask myself, is this truly what I need in my life? Did she say what she was wearing?
00:11:23
Speaker
She didn't say what she was wearing. That it's honestly relatable from his aspect, because sometimes it really is just something teeny tiny. But it's also very rude.
00:11:35
Speaker
Have you all seen that trend on social media right now? That's like guys saying things they said to women that they didn't realize were like a real burn. Oh, no. They like make a list of things. Like I said this to a girl, like Allison Jellop, part of the trend.
00:11:50
Speaker
So I can see why listening to some of their quote like kind of hot takes that they didn't think were bad. I'm trying to see into the eyes of a man or the mind of a man.
00:12:00
Speaker
However,
00:12:04
Speaker
I think feedback is always good. I'm constantly asking Joe to evaluate things and tell me what he likes and tell me what he doesn't like. But, and we have not been together for six years, so I don't know what that would be like.
00:12:14
Speaker
um I know that like we push our each other's buttons now at like three or almost I guess four years. um But I cannot imagine that coming out of Joe's mouth because I think that's like genuinely mean.
00:12:28
Speaker
This, like, that phrasing and the way that he, like, held it in and he was annoyed, all those signs are telling me that, like, he has thought this before. he also is, like, a little, like, tired of your shit. Like, there's something in him that's, like, was silenced by him not liking your outfit.
00:12:47
Speaker
Like... This isn't the first time, right? Yeah, it's not the first time. And also, he's, like, already a little out on you. Because when I think, even in my relationship, like, if my boyfriend did, like, my outfit, he'd be, like...
00:12:58
Speaker
you know there's those there there are those subtle like oh you're wearing that tonight or like yeah what if you put on like something else or whatever it's positive it's more like you if you like someone you lead them like i'm very blunt and even i wouldn't say that probably i would be like i like when you wear this or i like when you do this like because i know that i'm dealing with someone's like Like, obviously, if i if it wasn't going to hurt somebody, I would just speak as plainly as possible because I think that's the most effective.
00:13:25
Speaker
However, when you're in love with someone and you, like, care about their feelings, you do have to, like, actively think about that when you say things out of your mouth. I'm not always the best at that, but I feel like I wouldn't cross a line like this even if I was, like, really annoyed, I guess.
00:13:41
Speaker
That's, like, genuinely me. Yeah. actually mean and like coming for your like sense of femininity and like womanhood which like he doesn't know shit about you don't have to be always dainty and feminine to feel like a woman like there's just so many layers to that that i know i'm imagining her wearing like baggy denim shorts and like a little tank top and looking like cool and him not that's like that's feminine like what do you want me in a fucking milkmaid dress all the time like what do you what is he talking about yeah I wish we had i wish had more details for the outfit. would guess that he's probably already out on you. And if you like dug more into that, he would probably admit other things that he hasn't been liking.
00:14:23
Speaker
So as you're considering like, do I need this in my life? I would also be thinking like, he sounds like kind of already. Right. sounds out. It also sounds like he doesn't have like boundaries to what he says
Verdicts and Personal Reflections
00:14:39
Speaker
to you.
00:14:40
Speaker
Like, yeah there's no respect there. Did I tell you of how... Remember how I was like... Or I have been the oversized blazer queen? So here's a good example of a way that I think something like this should be handled.
00:14:53
Speaker
If we're specifically talking about the clothes. Iman, to your point, I do think that you treat someone like this or you say something like that. It almost says like ah you're on the edge and you're just like... You just like lash out because you're frustrated about other things.
00:15:06
Speaker
And it comes out that way and like a smaller way. However... I was talking to Joe recently asking in a normal feedback session, as I do as a Capricorn, I'm like, what's good, what's bad, whatever.
00:15:17
Speaker
I'm like, what do you like? What I like? What's something you like that I wear? Like, what's your favorite outfit? And he's like, i don't know. um He didn't really say anything and like specific. And I was like, what do you like that I, what do you not like that I've worn before?
00:15:32
Speaker
And he was like, I really didn't like the oversized blazer era. How many years in a row did I wear an oversized blazer with literally everything? Because it was like the thing. That whole aesthetic.
00:15:44
Speaker
He never mentioned it one time. He never even looked uncomfortable. He never said a single fucking word. He didn't have nothing under the radar. Yeah.
00:15:55
Speaker
I'm not like, and it didn't change the way he acted or anything like so and he hated this. And Joe and I have our problems like we're not perfect at all. And I'm not going to use him as an example of like the perfect boyfriend I wouldn't say or fiance or whatever. I also don't think that exists.
00:16:12
Speaker
But The way he went about it was to shut his mouth because he saw that I liked wearing that. And that's, I think that like feeling and I guess respect that he has towards me, even if he hates something and acts like it's the greatest thing in the world um is To something trivial, to like wearing a fucking blazer. Like he's not going to like break up with me for wearing a blazer.
00:16:36
Speaker
But I think that shows that he has like a baseline layer of respect that he's just like, okay, well, I love this person. Like she can fucking wear the blazer if she wants for five years in a row. And I won't say a single thing because. Right. I think that that should be the reaction. So I think that Iman, you're definitely right. There's something else there. And like, you to decide, do you want to live with a man that like that's like this?
00:16:54
Speaker
Also, though, there is something to be said for someone who's in a bad place mentally, like, maybe he's just extremely frustrated or something. And he just like lashed out because you're the closest person to him, you know? Yeah. Or there's an underlying issue that you need to get to the bottom of like, this could be his way of like,
00:17:11
Speaker
like ah Like I feel like during COVID, I never wanted to dress up because we were just, you know, partying at my boyfriend's house at the time. And I feel like there were times where my boyfriend would hint like – Hello.
00:17:26
Speaker
And um and it would you know like it would affect our sex life and like that's why he brought it up kind of thing. Because like sometimes you just got to like put it on so you can feel sexy. So then whatever. So I'm like, maybe there's another underlying issue that that's the thing that he was like, I'm going to come at you for this.
00:17:46
Speaker
I have a very similar story with the same boyfriend who I always reference as being my worst boyfriend. He actually, when he cheated on me, he told me it was because I let myself go during COVID. when I was wearing only sweats.
00:17:58
Speaker
And so obviously – So relatable. I'm sorry. Like I was not about to beat my face to hang out at a house. I'm sorry. Yeah.
00:18:10
Speaker
But also here's the thing. They don't like makeup either. It's like, okay, we'll pick fucking one, dude. Yeah. Also, so do you want me run around in lingerie all the time? is true. I was like, I was like less horny because I was just like, you know, free balling in sweats all the time.
00:18:25
Speaker
But I think there's something to say from like if you look in the mirror and you're like, oh shit, like I'm not doing my best right now. I should probably get it together versus I think I just put that shit on. Like I think I look cute. Like, oh, I think I'm like – Like she thought she had a good outfit on.
00:18:39
Speaker
I thought I was looking good like naturally pretty during COVID. But it's like – Clearly the blazer wasn't affecting her and Joe in any way or else it would have been brought up.
00:18:53
Speaker
But like. Yeah. The aspect of the rug being pulled from under you, I think adds to like the confusion because like if your boyfriend was like, hey, you like, come on. And you're like, I know. Right.
00:19:03
Speaker
It's different than like, wait, what? Like, i thought I looked good. you know what i mean? Mm hmm. and yeah I think it's just genuinely mean and it's probably representative. It's what is the word I'm looking for that um every therapist says you don't want to build in a relationship. It's not animosity. It's like... It's all resentment. Resentment.
00:19:23
Speaker
Resentment. That's the word thinking of. I feel like he's he's leaning towards resentment and if you don't like... if it's not released at some point, then like a breakup is imminent. Like, what do you you can't be like that resentful of your, of your partner longterm. Like that just ends conversations with them. See how he responds. If he's still being a dick, then leave them.
00:19:47
Speaker
And if he's not, maybe hear him out. See if you can change a few things. slight changes other than that nothing that compromises your like yourself like in your happiness and your ability i wouldn't say um also like you did nothing wrong i think we should definitely say that because i think we just like dove into ah her possible like ways that she maybe contributed to this but i also think that um you didn't do anything oh yeah true it's not your fault when someone treats you like that Yeah.
00:20:18
Speaker
we And no judgment because everyone has to deal with stupid boys like that sometimes. Right. And sorry Iman was so
Audience Engagement and Email Submissions
00:20:24
Speaker
harsh. Anyway. ha You just got a bit of what it's like to be friends with Iman. Yeah, exactly.
00:20:33
Speaker
i honestly don't even know what you guys are talking about. And I can't tell if you're joking if I really was harsh because that's just my personality. It wasn't the harshest, but it it's wasn't like... then Like you'll probably like I wouldn't be surprised if you listen back and you're like, ah do I need to cut that?
00:20:49
Speaker
it was no, it was just straightforward. You were being in your lawyer mode. I'm joking. You were arguing your case. It was just straightforward. Anywho, next one. Next one.
00:21:00
Speaker
um Okay, so this girl actually emailed us before we even said that we were going to do this for our episode. So thank you. Hell yeah, girl.
00:21:11
Speaker
align And she said, can you guys talk about this on your next pod episode? Sure. He said,
Substance Use and Relationship Impact
00:21:18
Speaker
my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a half we lived together we've known each other for like five years though our relationship is so amazing we have so much love for each other and living together is really amazing i'm having a problem though where my libido is so much higher than his nine times out of ten when i try to initiate sex he's too tired or will have sex and you can't get it up or can't come Then in a rare case that he is horny and wants to have sex, I don't want to decline even if I'm not in the mood because then I feel like we'll never have sex if we don't in that moment because he's finally horny, lol.
00:21:50
Speaker
For a long time and sometimes, I still do take it super personally. Like, am I ugly? Is he not attracted to me? But I know that's not the case. Not to sound conceited, but I know I'm pretty, period. I work out like four to five times a week. I have a great body.
00:22:03
Speaker
Disclaimer, i did recently find Xanax in his work bag that I assume he's taking. And he also takes Adderall daily. And I think he smokes weed multiple times a day. So like all those things might affect his libido.
00:22:16
Speaker
I'm waiting to get an appointment with my therapist to get advice. But I want to hear how you girls would approach this if it was your boyfriend. We probably have sex like three times a month, which honestly doesn't really feel like enough for me. help Thank you. Love you guys so much.
00:22:27
Speaker
I've never laughed along with a podcast like i do with 3Way. Love you guys so much. Again, love you too. It's got to be the meds.
00:22:35
Speaker
I don't know though because could also be mental health.
00:22:44
Speaker
Well, yeah, the meds are, like, obviously for mental health, but assuming the meds are working, like, the health aspect. would ask him, like, in his previous relationships, like, maybe you don't want to know that, but, like, I would ask him, like, generally, consistently through his life, what has his libido been at or, like, what's, like, been a normal amount for him throughout his life because it's either, like, I would say, like, a genetically, like, low libido slash if he can't get hard, can't cum, like, um... He's gay? Like,
00:23:14
Speaker
Oh, like, what is that called? Like, erectile dysfunction? attention the Yeah, yeah, I've had people a lot of friends tell me like a very similar story. And it's like a genetic like thing. That's how horny they are just like naturally.
00:23:31
Speaker
Yeah, but if you're taking Xanax like some even somewhat regularly, that will definitely kill your libido, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. um And like arousal. And then weed makes me... like If I smoke weed, I'm not going to have sex. So maybe other people are different. But I guess we just don't know how often he's doing any of these...
00:23:49
Speaker
things I mean, okay, I take Adderall every day. um have a normal sex life. I don't know if it's the Adderall. I mean, but also different meds affect people differently. Okay, I would ask ah several several series of questions, but don't know if you can let him know that you saw the Xanax in his work bag, but I would probably start with asking what's like your normal.
00:24:07
Speaker
I would ask him what his ideal amount of sex because like, how does he want sex to play in his life? And then how important is it in the relationship to him? Because like some people just don't have the same level of importance for those, those things, you know? Right. You need a gauge of this is normal to him or not.
00:24:25
Speaker
Like, but I don't know. It's like ah the low libido is one thing, but not performing is another. Cause like, I don't know. Normally you can like literally pull a titty out and a guy gets hard.
00:24:39
Speaker
Not every guy, though. I don't
Breakup Court: Scratching Habits
00:24:41
Speaker
think like... I know, Again, medical things have have a big play in it and it doesn't matter how turned on or how much they like you how much they think you're hot. Like, their body physically doesn't react on a chemical level, like... Right.
00:24:54
Speaker
In a, quote, normal way. first, ask him if he's gay. Second, ask him if he's depressed. Third, ask them how much he wants to fuck. And fourth, get a vibrator if you don't...
00:25:09
Speaker
already and if you didn't like the answer to any of those questions and i would say one determine how important sex is to you and how often you would want to have it to ask him how often he wants to have sex how important it is for him and also like if it's declined recently or if it was has always been and then figure out if it's like something that actually can change but obviously it has nothing to do with how you look Well, also, one of the things i that I had to tell my ex whenever he was, like, wanting us to fuck more, i had told him to, like, create more moments.
00:25:44
Speaker
And, like, ah you know, i feel like I've talked about this before, but he was living with other dudes. Like, there was, like, a window to the outside. Like, I never felt like a person wasn't going to walk in. And, like, there's a lot of things you have to describe to let that person know like why you're not comfortable. So I would just describe those things and be like, and I kind of need you to like, take me out, make me feel nice. So maybe you know he, she needs, maybe a she needs him.
00:26:13
Speaker
Yeah. had To describe those things. I feel like she needs him to describe those things. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So just see like what that might look like for him. Maybe. Yeah. Our verdict is um don't break up yet. Yeah. yeah Don't break up. Also, we didn't do a verdict for the first one.
00:26:31
Speaker
we should do our verdict with what we should what we would do in that situation if we would break up or not. Oh, that's a good idea. What we would do. Because that's a breakup court. We have to make a verdict. You know, um wait. So for this one, for the first one, I don't remember what that one was. where he said something mean to her when she got dressed and was cute. Oh, um i would no I wouldn't break up over that, but I would note that and ask like ah ton of clarifying questions, I guess.
00:27:01
Speaker
I would too, but it is something that would be closer to a breakup for me because like that's literally how I express myself. And if anyone had anything to say about an outfit I was wearing, I would slap them no matter if I was fucking them or not, you know?
00:27:15
Speaker
um I would break up with him. I feel like it's really, really, really disrespectful to look someone up and down and make a weird face and then hold it in and not speak so you're not communicating properly and then let it come out and be so rude.
00:27:27
Speaker
It would just make me like insecure. Like it wouldn't necessarily be about the action. It would be about how I felt consistently after that action. And I would probably never forget it. yeah agree i can't wait for the follow-up episode of this where everyone tells us if they stayed or broke up i hope i hope you girls follow up okay so for this scenario iman would you stay or go for the sex situation yeah um gun to your head i know okay well i feel like
00:28:00
Speaker
Not having sex means so many other things than just not having sex. Like, for one, if I, like, don't know what I can do to, like, be sexy to you in, like, a a night that I'm, like, trying to do that. Yeah, my ego can't handle that. My ego would be crushed. Like, I wouldn't feel hot in our relationship or desired. I feel like desirability is, like, a big thing for me in a relationship. Like, I want to know that you're – interested in that. And then also like I personally feel much closer to someone when we're consistently having sex versus when we're not. Like sometimes I am just talking like crazy to my boyfriend. Like I'm just like, yeah, well, I didn't let in. And then after we have sex, I'm like, i am so sorry. Like I was being such a bitch yesterday. Oh my God. think bla
00:28:45
Speaker
Like I like kind of need that a little bit. Um, So if I'm not feeling desired or, like, being able to express myself sexually or any of those things, that would be a deal breaker for me.
00:29:01
Speaker
i probably – I wouldn't, like, sit him down and break up with him over this specifically, but I would start – figuring out how I'm going to start making this relationship really hard and difficult.
00:29:14
Speaker
Yeah. Like this is the beginning of the end for me. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think I'm, I'm similar. Like sex isn't number one to me, but like you thinking I'm attractive and like hot and wanting me is.
00:29:29
Speaker
So it's like, yeah I don't even give a fuck half the time if we're fucking,
Recording Dynamics and Humor
00:29:32
Speaker
but I want you to be but fawning over me all the time. Like if I, you know, take my shirt off, you freak out or something.
00:29:40
Speaker
yeah So I do think, I think the like lusting after me is important. It's not even the sex part. Yeah. ah know I would not break up yet.
00:29:50
Speaker
This would not be the breakup cause for me. I would definitely... Because I definitely know what it's like to be on, he's not on like consistent medications like I was, but I know what it's like to be on medications and be so concerned with pleasing your partner, but also be so unable to become aroused, even though like you think your partner is the hottest thing in the world. It's just something, it happens in your brain.
00:30:11
Speaker
Yeah. So, and medication just does that to you. Like people have problems with that very often. Yeah. I would definitely, i wouldn't break up yet. Obviously, i think there's a larger conversation that needs to be had. And I think once you have the conversation about sex with your partner, if you haven't yet, especially if you're uncomfortable talking about it so plainly outside of the bedroom, I feel like it definitely changes the dynamic of your relationship and it becomes better and more fun when you can talk about it that way. But you just have to kind of like break the ice on that conversation. It really is hard to at first to do that.
00:30:47
Speaker
But I feel like it's a difference between also like was it different? has it Has he ever been different? Yeah. Yeah. Because I feel like that's a big thing too. If he's always been consistently like three times a month, I still think. There's just no way that wouldn't get to my um confidence.
00:31:05
Speaker
Yeah. And it doesn't matter. You're saying like, it basically doesn't matter if he was or wasn't attracted to you himself. If you weren't feeling that from him, regardless of he if he was or wasn't, it wouldn't be like it's a no from you, which I think is a good thing to say in a relationship. Like sometimes people's intentions, like i sometimes will lean on intentions and be like, we didn't intend to do that, you know, but it doesn't matter if like that end result is you feel unwanted. Like that's really hard to sustain in a relationship.
00:31:29
Speaker
But I would have a conversation first before thinking about breaking up. Yeah, of course. I agree with everything Peyton said. Excuse me. That was Kristen. Okay. Yeah.
00:31:41
Speaker
Iman, gross. I can smell your fart from over here. ah know you mom I like it better when Iman and I record together, but Iman doesn't.
00:31:54
Speaker
you want to speak on that?
00:31:57
Speaker
um Sure. would love to, Kristen. Okay. Yeah, so when Kristen comes over, um we do have to share a mic. So the mic is like a little bit more spotty, obviously, because we're both like turning our heads and doing stuff.
00:32:12
Speaker
And then also when I'm like making social media clips, Kristen does this thing where she likes to be a little mysterious. So any opportunity you give her to be less in the camera, she's going to take the opportunity every time.
00:32:26
Speaker
going put her hair over her face. She's going to go in the corner. She's going be a little mysterious. So it does make a little difficult when we're both sharing the screen because she's like, oh, my God, this is my moment um and goes kind a little but like halfway out.
00:32:39
Speaker
um She's cut off a little bit. She's not – I obviously love all of that. That's a huge plus on my end. B, when I'm editing the actual episode, there's only two videos and two audios, baby. There's not three.
00:32:54
Speaker
Also, I think it's great that we get to see each other's reactions. We get a little more camera time. You get to see. Anyway, um just comment on that. you value the experience of having a good time, it's the opposite of having – a growth mindset.
00:33:10
Speaker
I hate to say it. It is the enemy of growth. so we can't find does cover so gro So we can't clip videos for people to find us for to keep growing. So it's it's a classic. It's a classic. She wants to have more fun.
00:33:28
Speaker
Comment what you guys think. Yeah. And it's true. She wants to have more fun. Iman's like, I want to hang out. don't want drink alone in my apartment. But also every time Kristen's come over, we do blackout and we don't remember what we recorded. it's like, and it's because I say things like, what did it? What was the thing I said? I had to write it down.
00:33:51
Speaker
Evil playing field. I can't believe I said evil playing fields twice. I can believe it. But Kristen's always like, Iman, you're being weird. Like, you need to drink more. And I'm like, fuck. Like, okay. then we're like chugging Claws. Then the next day we're like, what did we record? And we're both like, well, I don't know.
00:34:09
Speaker
Right,
Doubts in Long-term Relationships
00:34:10
Speaker
right. So I guess you guys can see both sides.
00:34:16
Speaker
I'm sure of it. We did come to a... agreement, which was good. Yeah, every once in a while, Iman will let me come over and record. She'll let me drive to her house, bring alcohol, and sit down and record it with her, and she won't have to do anything.
00:34:33
Speaker
And eat me out. Yeah. Okay. So the next one. I have a recent ick with my boyfriend of one year, LOL. And I don't know if I'm being – hold on. Sorry.
00:34:47
Speaker
Let me start over. Mm-hmm. I have a recent ache with my boyfriend of one year, l lo l and I don't know if I'm being a bitch or if it's just not right. He's recently scratched an itch in his pants to keep it PG mid-conversation with me.
00:34:58
Speaker
He's done it twice now of our one year together, and both times I was like, are you freaking scratching your balls mid-conversation with me? It's hard to read. keeps like starring all the words doesn't want to use like she put instead of balls she put be a so star star so i'm like having to translate it while also reading it out loud if you guys can sympathize with me right now got it um okay are you for real scratching your balls mid conversation with me and laughing because it was kind of funny but also ew mind you we're comfortable in bed period
00:35:36
Speaker
Mind you, we are comfortable in bed, period. I forgot I did a mushroom a little bit before this and I think it's hitting right now. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. and Sorry. Mind you, we're comfortable in bed. We're not public. But he doesn't see me scratching my coochie mid-conversation in front of him.
00:35:52
Speaker
Is he getting too comfortable? Is that normal? Or am I just being a bitch? Oh, I just prefer keeping things sexy if I can help it. Like how Iman couldn't fart in front of her boyfriend. LOL. How should I dress if it keeps happening?
00:36:04
Speaker
I just would never have a problem with this, so I just don't know. know. thing is, I grew up seeing my uncles do this all the time, and they're tight-ass Levi's. didn't know it weird. That was like a different conversation. It's very over-level of that.
00:36:17
Speaker
It's okay.
00:36:19
Speaker
you okay? No.
00:36:34
Speaker
I'm sweating.
00:36:37
Speaker
No, I really didn't even know it was like that weird or that big of a deal until that Sex and the City episode. And Carrie made it the biggest fucking deal. I can't remember whose dude it was even actually. like But it was like, oh, it was Charlotte's.
00:36:52
Speaker
Which obviously, you know, Charlotte can't be dealing with us so an itchy. Yeah, ball sack. Yeah. um I don't if it's bothering you this much. I think that is your personal deal breaker and I don't want to judge you.
00:37:08
Speaker
No, but here's the thing though. You know, the one year mark when you start just like. you have these moments where you're just like, you're like, they become a person and they start doing things that are annoying because before that you're like in love and you're in the home stage.
00:37:21
Speaker
And then all of a sudden you're like, damn, you're just like really a guy, aren't you? And like they do stuff and you're like, what the fuck was that? So I relate to that because the one year mark hits me fucking hard. Last, or a couple weeks ago, I realized I'd never been in a relationship over a year before ah because right at the year mark, I keep having the same thoughts about everyone I've ever dated and actually had a crisis before.
00:37:41
Speaker
about that. um I did date one guy for like almost three years, but we broke up at the one year mark each time and were separated for a couple months. So I understand how when he gets the year mark, you're like, this person is annoying me and I can't keep living my life this way.
00:38:00
Speaker
It doesn't matter what it is. My boyfriend, for example, he snaps sometimes when he's listening to music and the frequency at how hard he's snapping like actually hurts my ears.
00:38:11
Speaker
And it makes me red with anger. I almost could burst into tears right now thinking about it because it makes me so livid. um And I'm so in love and I love him so much. that His
Humor in Mispronunciations
00:38:23
Speaker
snapping, it's like, I don't even know how does it, but it penetrates my ears and almost bursts it each time. So this sounds like something that you're just – like annoyed by it doesn't feel like that big of a deal and just say hey can you stop doing that that like grosses me out and like I don't A you need to tell him but you can't break up this is fine you can't break up with him no no no you just need to tell him yeah the verdict is you're staying
00:38:50
Speaker
Yeah. Tell them, like, just do what we do where we just, like, spread our legs. Like, you have to, like, use whatever you have to, like, kind of itch it. So it's, like, if you got to use the underwear you're wearing or the pants and you just, like, bend over a little and, you know. Men aren't, like, used to that level of inconvenience. Tell them to get creative.
00:39:11
Speaker
Or go in the other room. Go in the other room and get creative because, guess what, it's icking our girl out. Okay. Yeah.
00:39:20
Speaker
Yeah, and we don't love that. Should we do one more? Yeah. Someone said petition for Kristen to pop a titty out next episode. You know she wants to.
00:39:33
Speaker
Well, she's always popping the vagina out more. Yeah, I'd rather pop my pussy. What? They asked. I'd rather pop my pussy, though.
00:39:46
Speaker
yeah well, you know. Ew. Hey, girls. What? Nothing. You want to what? Refill my drink. Go ahead. Am I allowed?
00:39:58
Speaker
Yeah. Just make it wait. Two seconds. I really want to remember what Kristen's word is that she says wrong. It's like, it's like, do when them. We're like, don't.
00:40:11
Speaker
Yes. That's what it is. Okay, wait. let's Let's pause or let's talk. I'm going to bring it up in a second. right Moo appearance. So before we get into the next one, did remember what Kristen's word is that she says incorrectly.
00:40:29
Speaker
and so Oh, you did? We remembered. Okay. It's because they didn't hear the other part. Yeah, they heard it. Okay. So... Basically, Kirsten does that instead of saying innuendo, like a sexual innuendo, she goes, a sexual innuendo.
00:40:47
Speaker
And she says it with D's at the end. And it's not a joke. And one one day I was like, Kristen, why are you saying it like that? And she was like, i don't know you're talking about. Induendo. And like she didn't break a smile.
00:40:58
Speaker
And like it almost seemed like we were like borderline going to get into fights. So I just like left the alone. But every time and she says it like with a serious face multiple times. No, I literally will just be saying shit that sounds right.
00:41:12
Speaker
And one time, like, you – think we were on the phone. No, we were in person. And you were, like, crying to me about a certain scenario. Okay. That someone made an innuendo.
00:41:22
Speaker
And I don't know. I just – that moment has stuck with me. But –
00:41:29
Speaker
and
00:41:33
Speaker
i don't know i just that that moment has stuck with me but yeah and Like I'm crying and using incorrect English and you're like trying to correct me, but like good you're like, I don't know if this is a moment or not.
00:41:47
Speaker
And then I know I have a stomach ache wanting to correct you, but I didn't. Hey, actually. Actually, actually. Actually, we're adding two extra D's that actually aren't there. Where did you even learn that? I think that that's what it is.
00:42:05
Speaker
Induendos. and know There's some words that I've clearly just heard. I've never like seen written down.
00:42:15
Speaker
I'll just say them. Just phonetically, you just learn them. Like you told me, if you told me it like to spell innuendo, I-N-U-W-I-N-E-O-W.
00:42:26
Speaker
you start to spell innuendo perhaps? Yeah. I-N-N-U-W-E-N-O. Innuendo. Innuendo. can you start a spell innuendo perhaps yeah i in in you window
00:42:45
Speaker
innuendo This reminds me of the time I got um into the spelling bee. I got like, oh no night
00:42:57
Speaker
everyone had these like crazy fucking words and then I got up there and they gave me the word tornado. And that was like
00:43:08
Speaker
was like to make it into the spelling bee. And all these other folks fuckers are spelling like onomatopoeia.
00:43:17
Speaker
So I made it in and it was on 2000s day. I'll never forget it. It was um ah a similar year to when Xenon came out. I remember what I was wearing and I did pee on the stage
Young Couple at Crossroads
00:43:31
Speaker
ah from nervousness.
00:43:34
Speaker
And I got out on the first round. But anyway, I'll never forget it. Wait, so you did it you didn't spell tornado? I spelled tornado to get into the spelling. What was the word that didn't spell? Oh, I would have to ask my mom. But it was something that like could have gone two ways. And I told not.
00:43:51
Speaker
It's actually like a bit with my mom still. Like she she said that I like asked to use it in a sentence or something. And then I spelled the ra the completely different meaning of the word and – Anyway, innuendo.
00:44:06
Speaker
Yeah. Okay, here's the next one and the last one. Hi, girls. I love three-way and I would really appreciate your advice. I've been in my boyfriend for six years. We're both 21 and just graduated college. As I think about what's next, I'm realizing I'm having a hard time picturing a future with him. with him. can't deal with this one.
00:44:24
Speaker
21, he just graduated college and he's been together for six years. It sounds like Peyton doesn't really want to hear you out. was open to hearing you out and I'm called the harsh one.
00:44:35
Speaker
Sounds like Peyton said immediately before even hearing the rest. You don't believe in love before the age of 21. How would you know you've never been with anyone else? Am I okay to continue or?
00:44:46
Speaker
Yeah, well go ahead. um Make sure you, the camera was on Peyton just now when she rolled her eyes when I said, should I continue? Okay. So um I'm realizing I'm having a hard time picturing a future with him. Things like moving in together, building a life just don't feel right.
00:45:03
Speaker
We haven't seen each other much recently and because we live a few hours apart and honestly haven't felt motivated to visit, I've prioritized work, friends, family, and my own life instead. He also struggles with confidence and really takes initiative, which leaves me feeling like I'm leading the relationship.
00:45:17
Speaker
His friend's values don't align with mine either, which I've communicated with him. That's kind of red flag for me. I've started to feel more disconnected um from his world. A lot of people in my life, like friends and coworkers, have said I'm out of his league and little comments like that to me recently.
00:45:32
Speaker
I don't know if I planted a seed or just like it made me finally want to confront what I've been avoiding. I saw him a couple weeks ago and thought I would end things. But once we were together, it was nice. Nothing was wrong, but that's it. It was just fine.
00:45:45
Speaker
And I don't want to settle for something that's fine. I know I could have deeper, more passionate love with someone who fits my values and lifestyle. I've been really adventurous post-grad and doing a lot of traveling. I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone. And I just don't think he's someone who would do the same.
00:45:58
Speaker
We've gone in different directions and I'm trying to accept that we might not be right for each other in the long term. I know I've been dragging this out and I feel bad for not being more decisive. Any advice on how to move forward or how to end things really help. Thank you.
00:46:08
Speaker
Okay, so you're perfect and you have to break up with him, obviously. You're a child. So how? Life is long. People say life is short. You guys, life really fucking long.
00:46:20
Speaker
It is. You're a baby and I hate to say that because like I know that sounds annoying. But here's the thing. she's She has such insane perspective for someone at 21. Yeah. what saying? Yeah.
00:46:31
Speaker
So like I love that you're feeling this way. You like totally have outgrown this and not in a mean way to him. It's just like you outgrew it and you're like, okay, now it's hard to leave because this feels weird. But like you acknowledging it at 21 and having so much perspective and like ability to reflect and then also ability to see in the future and be like, I'm doing all this stuff. Like I'm being very ambitious. I'm kind of breaking my own barriers. got have someone that's like slightly there. Also the lifestyle thing is that's really hard long term to like deal with that. I feel like I was still like really seeking...
00:47:00
Speaker
male validation at 21 in the form of a relationship so I'm proud that you like yeah I mean I think I feel like she like knows kind of what she needs to do like I feel like she knows she's outgrown it it sounds but how she wants to know how should she break up with him oh how that's the question ah that was part of the question make a fight hun make it fun so
00:47:27
Speaker
fuck his best friend make it easy like Well, when I didn't know how to break up with someone, but I knew that I wanted to, but I also knew like I didn't have a specific reason other than it just didn't feel right and like it just wouldn't be right long term.
00:47:40
Speaker
I had a conversation with him that was like, I don't really think I'm that happy in our relationship. This isn't me like breaking up with you. I'm like actually trying to like brainstorm like how are you feeling? Here's how I feel. I feel like not on the same page.
00:47:54
Speaker
Like making it very conversational and when you tell yourself you're not breaking up with them and then you have the conversation of like, I'm not really that happy. And I feel like it lessens the like impact of like that kind of, again, becomes the beginning of the end where like maybe he might also share some things.
00:48:11
Speaker
You share some things and then over time it's kind of like, I don't know. it It like drags it out a little bit more, but it makes it less to like in your brain, you're like, oh, I'm sitting down and break up with someone, but I can't really explain why you just say, I'm really that happy. What do you think?
00:48:27
Speaker
And go from there. Yeah, I'm really bad at that kind of stuff. I have to have like the actual breakup. the actual breakup Because here's the thing. yeah i don't like We obviously don't know the guy and how he's going act.
00:48:38
Speaker
But remember when I broke up with that guy when I was 21 and he was like constantly coming back and like seeing me at Coachella
Personal Breakup Experiences
00:48:47
Speaker
and being like. You know, running showing about my apartment, not running into me like I would see him thinking like, OK, we're friends.
00:48:55
Speaker
And then I would end in like him crying or like this happened for like two years and I love him to fucking death. He's the best. But I knew I didn't want to be in a relationship with him. And I set a hard boundary in a hard line when I broke up with him. I was like, I don't want to do this.
00:49:10
Speaker
And he like, ended up like writing me letters because I banned him from texting me because I was like, you're sending me like novels and I just can't do this right now. she pains like Like we really, we have to move on.
00:49:21
Speaker
ah it's so hard to like love someone and have love for someone and really respect someone, but be like, you need to stop. Like, I love you, but not that way. And we need to move on. So I feel like it just depends on the type of person that he is. Because like, if he's that way, like you have to set a hard boundary and it's still going to be hard to break up with someone like that. you know but if you're something more chill because I mean when me and my other ex broke up I remember it wasn't working and I was just like I texted him one day and was like listen we just need to talk because like we're just like off like something's wrong and we had a similar conversation and I was really sad after we broke up but I was just like it needed to happen and we both kind of like came to that agreement but it just depends on what he's like
00:50:04
Speaker
But I feel like if you don't have like a solid reason in your head like, oh, he cheated on me or oh, he was an asshole. I feel like I have – I broke up solely more for me than for him because like it's so easy to forget all the bad or like how you're feeling or the nuance once you break up with someone because that they're like very comfortable. And then when you put yourself in an uncomfortable environment where like maybe the next guy she sleeps with is a fucking asshole and then she misses like the safety and i think that always will that she's had since she was like fucking 15 I feel like when you do it slowly and you like actually think out each step it's really just for you because then you can get yourself that like
00:50:43
Speaker
wi Oh, crap. Was this a person for me kind of thing? I think it depends on where she is in her like thing. I was saying like I was talking about the approach as it affects him because the way it affects him affects you.
00:50:57
Speaker
So like I wasn't necessarily worried about his reaction. I was worried about how his reaction was now going to play into my life because this person would like show up at my house. You know what I mean? Or like make a scene when he's like the best guy ever. he just was like so heartbroken.
00:51:12
Speaker
And I don't know if he's going to be like that if he's going be chill. If he's the best guy ever, you just like have to have a really um mature conversation. And then i feel like you guys will be able to stay friends because you're like still young. And this will all like, you know, feel so like far away soon.
00:51:32
Speaker
We also didn't she say that they're long distance? Yeah. That's like the perfect reason. Yeah, I was going to say, i can't relate to there not being like a reason for fight or a breakup. It's like you can't pick one little fight to blame it on.
00:51:49
Speaker
Blame it on the distance. That is unhealthy. Just say the truth. Say how you feel and say, I don't feel like feeling like this anymore. totally. You don't need to make it a ah fight. No, absolutely. blame it on. Well, no, I was saying if he is a good guy and you want to stay friends with him, be mature about it. But otherwise...
00:52:06
Speaker
ah I think that when you make a fight and make drama, that's not this that's not like setting you up for a good friendship later. I think, though, also after you break up with someone, you need some space. You can't just like, this is going to be my friend forever. You can't be friends right after. after Yeah.
00:52:21
Speaker
look at Look at Peyton and I. Three years. Yeah. Three years we broke up. Three years we broke up. And now we're back. Mm-hmm. Yeah. here
00:52:35
Speaker
Yeah, I think, um I don't know. We have we have different, we all agree you should break up with him, but I guess we have different ways that we would approach this depending on like how he acts and what you're like because I just need definitive. I just need to, i don't, I've never in my life drawn out a breakup. I can't do it.
00:52:51
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, I have because I am with Eames. We've talked about this before where we like to like be really decisive and like know that we want to do what we're doing and like have no other like i'll gaslight myself like fuck that was a love of my life and like ruined it and like well i feel like i stay like i do that but once i decide i you just decide and you move on because at some point you've got to make a fucking decision but it doesn't mean you're gonna keep going back in your mind like it's still of course the most have to trust your gut toxic things i'm like oof
00:53:27
Speaker
Should I stayed? You know? I don't think that way about a single man and it has nothing even to do with me being with Joe now. I'm not talking about like men or anything. Well, when me when me and Joe broke up, I knew in my gut that it was wrong. And it wasn't because... Like, I knew that our relationship was working properly.
00:53:44
Speaker
And when he came back around, he was like, our relationship was working properly. I was just, like, really in despair about my job and stuff like that. But I knew in my gut that it wasn't correct. And that's why it was really hard for me to move on. Like, the blindsiding and, like, the stress of it all and the ego thing is a huge part of a breakup.
00:54:01
Speaker
But there was something in there that I was like, it's just not... and It doesn't feel right. Like it doesn't feel just the way that we're not only like in love connected and all these things, but like the way that our lifestyles align and all this, unless everything was a lie, something's wrong.
00:54:17
Speaker
Like something is wrong that I can't control. Yeah. However, the men I loved before him, i it was so hard. Like when i broke up with my ex when 24, next time I saw him, I started sobbing, crying. You were there, Kristen. Remember I like had to call you and be like, I saw him. It was so weird to not be together with him when I saw him. Like he was treating me like a friend.
00:54:38
Speaker
And I didn't love him. Like I wasn't in love with him. It was still so hard. it's It's going to be hard regardless. That's why it's really important for me to sometimes draw ah a boundary around it because I know how I'm going to act and I know I'm going to be sad.
00:54:51
Speaker
And I know if I let myself drag it out for longer, there's always a reason to go back if he's a good person. Like you're always going to have a reason. So when I make the decision at some point, you're just going to make the decision. Here's the thing when you're young.
Conclusion and Audience Interaction
00:55:03
Speaker
And if you don't do something stupid and crazy and toxic to break up with him, you're Joe revisited it with me and it took a little while for me to be okay with it. But like he, he realized he made a mistake in that sense. And I was at some point open to hearing him. You know what i mean? So it's not like it's over forever, but at some point your way isn't like any less emotional. It's just like more good point decisive. think preparing the girls for like inevitable heartbreak for the rest of them, their lives.
00:55:32
Speaker
Yeah. No, but I think what I'm saying is not necessarily drawing it out, but saying if you phrase it to yourself as I'm to have a conversation about not being happy. like For example, like if I know i have to talk to like my friend about something that's been really bothering me,
00:55:49
Speaker
and i don't know how to say it or I don't feel like I have the confidence to say it yet, I might send them a text message first that says, like, hey, can I talk to you about something? like And then I know I have to do it after because, like, I've already set the scene to, like, say it in a way that's, like – the first text is the easy thing to say and the second text is the hard thing to say Kind of like how I, like, send my ballsy text and I'll just be, like – because sometimes I need a catalyst for, like, drama.
00:56:17
Speaker
Sure. But Imani kind of reminds me and when you said you get the way to get over a guy on the on the podcast, we we're talking about this and you were like, fuck him till the love is gone. Whereas I have like a completely opposite approach.
00:56:29
Speaker
Like I just draw a boundary and I do that. I don't think either way is wrong. I think that this is an example. of This is like the love example. Right. Of that. you know what saying this the working out example and then my example is like oh this man you're gonna be laughing at with your family and ah ah like about him with your family in 10 years and mocking him for like having light up gloves yeah ah here's the thing I think that's just a you thing because i am not laughing at any of my exes like gloves you don't know the light up
00:57:05
Speaker
We don't know the light up love scenario. You have to listen to this situation because Kristen's ex one's on month. The content creator now UGC apparently.
00:57:16
Speaker
Um, no, Iman, my very country boyfriend that I in high school that I then turned very preppy cause I like just kept buying him Ralph Lauren. Then he went. Cause his outfits were ruining your day.
00:57:29
Speaker
Exactly. Um, so I actually controlled that. I said, you know what I'm going to do something about this. So let that be another lesson girlies. Um, Then he ah went to my same college and was in a fraternity. um And then shortly after college, he started wearing the light up gloves and going to raves.
00:57:55
Speaker
And um he would post like very serious videos of him like with the gloves in his room. Have gloves that she's talking about? Yeah, like the light up. but Each finger has a light on the end.
00:58:07
Speaker
Let me show you like a visual of like what he would do on his Instagram.
00:58:14
Speaker
Each finger has a light, by the way. Just remember that each finger is. Each finger has a light and also you're on acid and we are listening to the worst music you've ever heard in the background. And everyone is hasn't showered in seven days and they're going like this anyway. So this is what he was doing on Instagram. This is my first boyfriend. The one that I was on Instagram.
00:58:37
Speaker
I try to go home from a family trip when I was like 16 and Because he broke up with me one night. He got drunk and called me. And I tried to get my dad to fly me home. So there was so much drama around him. Like being the love of my life. That my family loves to like bring him up.
00:58:54
Speaker
Then after we date. He turns full Wook. work and literally does the light up gloves thing is all over Instagram doing this. So I'm getting everyone fucking sending these videos, all of this.
00:59:08
Speaker
My mom one year puts light up gloves in my fucking Christmas. um ah What is it called? stockking Stocking. Stocking.
00:59:20
Speaker
I am obsessed with her. I've never heard something about someone that made me fall in love in that same way. Your mom is. She's it. Now he has like hair as long as me, beard as long as me.
00:59:34
Speaker
but
00:59:36
Speaker
You know what I mean? The beard as long as. The beard as long as. Yeah. i Don't say that. I know you're going to say, but don't. Yeah. I don't have hair on my pussy, so I would never make that joke, Peyton.
00:59:49
Speaker
Anyway. um so yeah, honestly, I do. That could be your fucking 21 year old ex where you're going to be like, what in the flying fuck? That's so embarrassing because that's who I was dating at 21 actually younger. But yeah.
01:00:04
Speaker
I feel like you're just going to feel a little bit free after it's hard at first. I think that's just what's going to happen. And then maybe you can be friends later. You know? Yeah. Hopefully he doesn't pick up the finger gloves thing.
01:00:17
Speaker
That's just really... I hope he doesn't go in that direction. Same. With the beard as long as Kristen... Same because every holiday, you know what i have to hear about?
01:00:29
Speaker
It's like families can't just have like one little like joke. It's like it has to be revisited every time you're together. There's never new content. and Like in my family, I'm not giving them new content.
01:00:41
Speaker
Yeah. And like everyone else finds it funnier than you. And it's like annoying. And I'm like, guys, I got it. I can't pick them. I get it. But I also feel like I'm the person in my family where like everyone will say the thing that's like so funny to them and they know won't be funny to me.
01:00:58
Speaker
And then but if I said like a joke of equal like like punchiness to them. They can't take you would be no one would be able to take it. And then when I was like it was just a joke.
01:01:11
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. I don't get offended by it, too, because I just i do think I am batshit crazy. I legitimately thought I was going to marry this man. um also like basically turned him into a whole other person. and Anyway, so I don't blame him.
01:01:31
Speaker
So it didn't stick, what you're saying. Still looking. Your aesthetics for him didn't stick with him. No.
01:01:41
Speaker
All right. Well, there you have it. Another long, long episode. Another long long day in the city. Oh, okay. okay All right, guys Come follow us on social media at ThruwayPod on Instagram and on TikTok. and please rate the show because it helps the show so much. And we would like this to be um our jobs.
01:02:04
Speaker
So if you could help a girl out, that would be great. Rate, review, share, talk about And send us in your breakup court questions. And your follow-ups.
01:02:14
Speaker
Tell us if you broke up or not. And if you thought i was being harsh, let me know. But if you think they're being crazy, definitely let let us know. And also, tell us what you think about Induendo.
01:02:25
Speaker
Bye. We're going to make shirts with Induendo. Bye, guys.