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00:00:01
just sex
4.2k Plays3 months ago
s2e15: our first two-some (some people just call this sex) !! eems and kris have a catch up on krissy’s couch with some drinks & discuss evacuation, emon’s insane breakup story, and things kris would like to try ;)
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Transcript
Introduction and Setup
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey, Chris. Hi, Eames. What's up? I have to tell you something. Oh my God. Okay. Should I three-way Peyton in? Yeah, call me. Okay. Hello. Hey, Eames needs to tell us something. I'm three-waying you in. Okay, immediately. Okay, so... Hey, guys. Hey, guys. It's us, Yvonne and Kristen. Coming alive? Oh. Coming to you live? Coming live. Ew. Oh. oh
00:00:29
Speaker
i
00:00:33
Speaker
this
00:00:39
Speaker
I can't. Coming to you live from West Hollywood. Kristin's couch. I don't know if you guys remember last episode when she asked me to start coming to her more and I was like, I don't want to go. And she's here. She did it. And I'm here. I didn't want to go. But are you having a good time? I would say it's fine.
00:01:01
Speaker
I think you can do better than having a good time. No, I wouldn't say good. I would say it's like fine. Huh? Anyway, um, so we're here, we're together.
Impact of LA Fires
00:01:13
Speaker
And um this is actually gonna be a to some episode. And I think they just call that sex. Yeah, I just hold regular sex today. um Which is your dream. It's with me.
00:01:27
Speaker
So Peyton's not here because she's actually just like really fucking busy. And we were like, should we break for the season? What should we do? Me and Kristin just so happened to be available. So we were like, all right, guess we'll try out. Well, so we have been dealing with the LA fires. Oh yeah. And um it's been a weird fucking like three or four days where you're kind of paralyzed and don't know what to do because like going to the gym feels inappropriate working feels inappropriate. So I have literally either been going through close to donate or like talking on the phone to 2 trillion people checking on me or like watching Netflix. So at first we weren't going to record and then I was like I feel like we kind of need some like normalcy and I need to like hang and maybe
00:02:22
Speaker
um the girls would like some lightheartedness. So that's what's happening. We are thinking of our community. This whole thing is fucking crazy and really sucks and not trying to make light of it or anything like that. um But I also feel like when you're in the middle of something like yours, like I feel like we can't make light of it if we're not in it. Like we both like had to evacuate at certain points. Like our houses, we're gonna burn down so we can make light of it. It's like if you're black, you can make a black joke. Oh, I see what you're saying. It's like if you're in the fire, you can like be like trying to have a good time even though it's a hard time. Yeah, exactly. I guess that's true. I just meant like not making light of it by like still having like a podcast episode. It's mainly just like
00:03:08
Speaker
you know, us wanting normalcy slash like to just yeah kind of
Coping Mechanisms and Evacuation Challenges
00:03:15
Speaker
keep going. We also deal with. situations like this very differently, I would say. ah Should we talk about your close friend story? Yeah, so I posted on my close friend saying like, you know what, I'm just gonna, I don't smoke weed, but I was like, I'm just gonna smoke weed, drink some wine, lay in my robe and wait and see if my house is gonna burn down. And then I called myself vegan in my apocalypse era. she chi She like titled it like my apocalyptic era with like the like nail thing. And I was like,
00:03:46
Speaker
Oh here my god. I also feel like in like a life or death situation, I feel very comfortable. I'm just like going to deal with what's in front of me and I'm also going to just like try to have a good time and then later I'm going to deal with the actual effects because I can't escape driving through like the city that I live in and then everything's burned out. Like I can't, I can't, I can just deal with that later because that's going to be like It's gonna be really real. It's gonna be real regardless. So like if I'm in the middle of it and like having to evacuate, guess what? I'm gonna be having a good time. I'm gonna be drinking my Topo Chico. Like I don't have to surround myself with like devastation. That's really brave of you to say.
00:04:25
Speaker
What do you mean? You were fucking at home, hysterically crying, paralyzed by the thought. That's not... I was. like I couldn't help it. No, to be honest, not most of the time I am like you in this scenario. like It doesn't like register to me, but this all was just like so fucking real and my friends were losing their houses and I just was like,
00:04:50
Speaker
I don't know what to do. Um, so that's how I dealt with it personally. Yeah. So I don't know if also just like cry, like not being out to get out of bed is like, if you're in a life or death situation, like me personally, I'm gonna turn up. I don't know. yeah Like literally my house could be on fire. I haven't even drank in today. This is not my first day of drinking in 2025. Like I even didn't drink through a natural disaster. Yeah, I don't know. I broke my dry January. Like if my house would bring out, I would just go to Thunderbird and start drinking and like be having a good time. We're actually so like serious slash unserious about the most opposite things I feel like. I feel like we're never matching up on like,
00:05:30
Speaker
Seriousness. No, like I haven't this is so serious. I just and I was like kind of offended by your I'm gonna have to deal with this over the next Several months of like year my city being re years rebuilt. I don't while I'm in the middle of knowing whether or not my house will personally burn down I don't need to also be like stressed out because I need to also be like Looking at the news, I have to be checking to see if I have to evacuate. I have to be knowing I have to pack my bags. like All these things while I'm in it, i mean I'm going to try to make it a good, cool, fun environment for me personally. I don't like need to be crying today and then also every day for the next. you're You laying in bed, a seriously crying like paralyzed by the thought of getting out of bed. like That's so real, but it's just not the way that I
Surreal Experiences and Emotional Impact
00:06:19
Speaker
would deal with something.
00:06:20
Speaker
Anyway, I've never had to like pack my belongings thinking I was never gonna come back to my house. I actually like- I have. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, you grew up here, didn't you? I did grow up here, but I feel like I've been in so many life or death situations, or just like my mom, just like being so irresponsible or just not knowing her own- like actually take sellus to cake so serious just like i feel like i'm just like yeah whatever i could go yeah i yeah I don't know. I guess maybe I'm used to like earthquakes and shit growing up in Tulsa. I'm not used to like
00:06:53
Speaker
fires. I don't know. and It all really hit me. Let's just say that. Yeah, I was just like, yeah, well, I might burn down or I might die or whatever, but I'm gonna go get Topo Chico's. I'm gonna, the winds are going 100 miles per hour while I'm on my way to Bev Mode. I'm like just romanticizing my life with all the smoke and the ashes going down into my hair. It looked like Dandruff. And I was just like, I'm gonna fucking have a blast today. That was it. Okay. Yeah.
00:07:22
Speaker
Snow day. Snow day. It felt like being on a cruise or an airport where there's just like time doesn't matter. It felt apocalyptic. It was like the craziest environment. Wow. I can't believe how different of experiences we've had. Yeah. I also was thinking about when you got your evacuation warning. Sorry. What?
00:07:45
Speaker
like you were already sobbing crying just think of your friends having no i literally was i was i was already affected by this before the fires were even near me i was like my heart was freaking breaking i was like what do i do whatever and then all of a sudden someone's like a fire popped up in hollywood i go i think i told you yeah i go outside and i see the freaking fire No, I was I was I would go like I was like loud crying my neighbor texted me which he listened like if you Know I actually
00:08:30
Speaker
fuck you. I actually know you don't have to tell me how you reacted because You want to know what I packed in my car? thank you Also, I have three dogs right now. So I've been dealing with that. What I packed in my car was all my favorite designer bags and my watches. Right. And your Rolexes. Yeah. And now I guess I know what I would take in a fire. I mean, that makes the most logical sense. I know. Cause it's like, I i would have to sell those to get on my feet. This is so not funny. Okay. We need to change the subject. This is like, this is very touchy and you're not being
00:09:18
Speaker
Anyway, guys, sorry, ignore her.
Humor and Social Interactions
00:09:21
Speaker
um Also, Ms. is dealing with um allergies right now. Yeah. I roll. And it reminds me that we haven't spoken about the time that you were taking allergy medicines that were at medicine that was making you drowsy for like two weeks, but you didn't know it was making you drowsy. I was like, why can't I stay awake? And I came to me No, you literally came to meet me, Megan and Blake at Chateau and um yeah and she like wasn't present. She was like very quiet. And I was like kind of wondering like if she was just being like shy because she had never met Blake. Well, because here's okay. So there were two evils at play here. The first evil was that
00:10:02
Speaker
I know Megan, so at first when ah Kristen presented it to me, you guys know I can't like meet a new person and be normal. So I already know Megan, so Kristen was like, I'm gonna wait for that truck to pass. Kristen was like, oh, hey, I'm gonna go to Chateau with Megan. I'm like, perfect. Then before I'm about to go, she's like, yeah, it's me, Megan, and Blake. And I was like, okay, nothing against her. I don't even know her, but I can't meet a new person. So I have to mentally prepare. I was like, I'll let you know if I can still make it. So after an hour, I drank. I had two drinks to myself. Plus, Chateau is over by me, and we all know. You guys, my Uber was like, okay, also. Anyways.
00:10:41
Speaker
um So I show up to Chateau and like I'm preparing to meet a new person, end up loving Blake, she's great. I mean, she's amazing. I obviously don't know that before I meet her. So I was already out of sorts that I'm meeting one new person. And then I was taking this allergy medicine that I didn't know was making me drowsy. So I took it and then after an hour of being there, I was like, I'm gonna fall asleep. I knew I was like on a timer. So I ordered like an Uber black SUV because I knew that I needed like a professional driver to be driving me because I slept
00:11:13
Speaker
the And he had to wake me up when I got home. And that's a good sleep. And this also, mind you, right before Eames left, like when she was like half dead asleep, half awake, she was, and we were hanging, we were like meeting um his friend and they both listened to the podcast. And so they were trying to call her out for saying that hot or good-looking or whatever okay well do you guys remember the episode where I was like it was the Halloween episode I was like Kristen I think this guy's hot like if you should go hot I'll go home with him if you want like I was like saying all these jokes not thinking he's gonna listen to the podcast I don't know if you guys remember that episode
00:11:55
Speaker
Then I meet him and he's like, yeah, I remember you called me hot. I was like, no, I didn't. She was gaslighting the fuck out of them to the all pull it up to the point where they had no idea that she was joking. Also like horrible red, red flag. Cause again, that just means that they don't think girls are funny. If they can't fucking pick up on a dry joke, or it always it's like, obviously like clearly she said that and they were all upset that like Iman was like fucking with them so hard.
00:12:22
Speaker
Dumb bitches. I was like, also we're so out on him. He's done. He out he full on, full on. Um, love bombed me even after us having the conversation and him like blatantly telling me he doesn't love bomb, which I guess should have been another red flag. He's like, no, I don't love bombs. Like, Oh, interesting thing to say. Yeah. i didn't even bring that up Well, we were talking whenever we talked about it, because he was talking about like phrases he doesn't know because he's 45. And, um, he was like, yeah, I just learned what love bombing is. And he was like, but I don't do that. And I was like, all right. Okay.
00:12:58
Speaker
And i didn't think anything of it and then i was like wait i feel like love bombs by a man that told me he doesn't know what love bombing is and doesn't do it when he did find out anyway so we're out on him back on the market. But she's meeting your husband this year and then we're like super excited about that so we're just kind of gearing up for that i would say yeah by being just extra crazy yeah.
00:13:21
Speaker
being actually but also holding space for right the future your husband. If you're listening to this future husband, I'm not being too crazy. Right, no, not at all. And if you are listening to this, and I sound crazy in future episodes, maybe I'm exaggerating.
00:13:40
Speaker
Yeah, look, you have to be able to know when we're joking. He was like, Iman, I remember you said I was really hot. And I was like, I never said that. And then they were like, yeah. And I was like bring it like, pull it up. When did I know he when did i say that? No, his friend was flabbergasted. He was like, no, you literally said that.
00:13:56
Speaker
And then when I talked to them the next day, his friend was like, yeah, I haven't drank in six months. And that was the first time I wanted to drink. I was like, you're so fucking dramatic. Yeah. I also like am really good at not breaking like a bit. Like I didn't break a smile. I think that I think it was driving them so crazy because they wanted you to give in and you weren't. So I think they were literally like mind fucked.
00:14:20
Speaker
I think people don't realize how similar me and Peyton are like in real life because when I'm around my friends, I seem like very but like to everyone else. Very dry. Very dry. Me and Peyton are the most similar just like Like she's not gonna give you anything unless she wants to. She's not gonna do it. She's not gonna like make you feel better about anything you're like saying or doing by like giving you like a fake laugh. Oh no. If your joke didn't hit, she's not gonna laugh. And then if you're like, wait, was that she'd like, it just didn't hit for me. And I would do the exact same. Like you just were very, very similar in that way. So it's just like, sorry to everyone. Sorry to everyone who's not funny, but be funny. And then she'll fucking laugh.
00:15:04
Speaker
When my friends, sorry, it'd be perfect. When my friends send me Instagram reels that they think are funny, I just say not funny. if i i like I want them to be doing better. I love doing that. I have one friend who consistently tries to make me laugh and she sent me maybe one funny one and like six months of trying. And like, I just don't even respond to anyone. Who are you texting? No, I'm literally in the middle of, I was looking at notes. Okay. Sorry. And then I like blacked out. You talking?
00:15:35
Speaker
That's fine. I appreciate the honesty. Sorry. What were you saying? Oh, nothing wasn't important. I just have a note that says I need to try acid again. Why? Because I don't feel like I got the full vibe when I did it because I did it at an Alabama shakes.
00:15:53
Speaker
outdoor festival, where Alabama Shakes was playing. And then I like laid down too early and like threw up everywhere. And then I had to go back to my I like left the festival and went to my friend's house and like laid in the shower. But that doesn't sound fun. Like no, that's why I need to try it again. Because people like talk great about acid. So I don't want that to be my only thing. But I feel like people aren't necessarily say like acid it was the best time I've ever had. i Like they say like I like had, it's almost like ayahuasca. Do you listen to the foster sisters? Do I? Whenever their sister is on Jordan. Jodi or Jordan. yeah She doesn't she say she does acid. ah Yeah, she says she does MDMA. Oh, wait, she said she hated it. MDMA is Molly. Oh, right. Right. Like ecstasy.
00:16:42
Speaker
Yeah, done plenty of that. But anyway, I just, that was like a thing I was thinking the other day that I feel like I need to try acid again.
Intrusive Thoughts and Future Anxieties
00:16:50
Speaker
Okay. Um, I also remember that, like, I knew as I was taking it, or as I was like feeling it, it wasn't the right environment, because, like,
00:17:03
Speaker
Alabama Shakes is like, they're super, everyone gets super quiet for things when she's singing. And like, what's like a popular Alabama Shakes song? Let's see. and So I'm pretty sure it was just song. So they're playing this, she's not singing. And then they're waiting for like, no, I know. i'm Not the vibe for acid, I don't think.
00:17:26
Speaker
No, no, you need to go to like. So everyone was like serious as fuck and like being really quiet for her. And I remember looking and being like, and I like accidentally laughed and everyone was like, what the fuck bitch? Like, I just remember that. Anyway, random thing. Okay, so you want to try acid again? Anything else on your list? Of drugs? No, just in general, of what you want to talk about? Oh, mate. Oh,
00:17:54
Speaker
I see. What was your last intrusive thought? a I always like think that my teeth are going to fall out. Oh, you drink? Do you have drink those dreams? What does that mean again? and Anxiety, I think. Maybe. i like I'm always thinking my teeth are going to fall out. Intrusive thoughts. I can't remember why I wrote that one down, but I remember just thinking that was interesting to know what other people's intrusive thoughts.
00:18:23
Speaker
Mine was obviously I guess that my whole house was going to burn down the other day when I was packing up and crying as I was packing up and you were Facetiming me. Everyone I knew at the same time was Facetiming me because it was like live when like on the news when everyone was watching when the Hollywood one came. yeah And then everyone decided to like, yeah, I don't know. That was just like a lot. I kind of handled it. I don't really know what my last one was because I feel like I get like 30 a day. So it's hard to remember like, you can't think of one like today. I get ones a lot that like,
00:19:00
Speaker
Like when my kitchen's messy, I'm like, if I can't keep my kitchen clean when it's just me, how am I gonna have like a husband and kids? And like over time, I'm just gonna become like more disgusting and lazy and then like my husband's is not gonna wanna be with me and my kid's friends are gonna come over and my house is gonna be a mess and like all my friends are gonna have it together. But like every time anything's messy, I'm like, I can't even take care of myself. Like, and then I get really dramatic about it. Oh, wow. That happens to me probably daily.
00:19:27
Speaker
ah Three times a day. Okay. I mean, yeah, I don't love my I don't love like hosting people in my house is dirty either but just like not even hosting people like I in my brain I'm like your kitchen should be clean at all times because it's just you. Oh And that's and that's when I'm like the beauty of living alone is that you can just keep a dish here for a second if you need and then decide when you want to put it in there and
00:19:54
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I just think everyone, like everything's always just like, if I can't do it now, I'm not gonna be able to do it when I'm older, like I'm just not prepared. No, see, I don't believe that because ah the busier I am, the more I get done. That's true. yeah So I think you just don't sit for a few years when you have kids. That's true. And you'll do it and then... That's my only intrusive thought that I like think of constantly that I can think about right now. The rest of it just feels so normal that I can't think.
00:20:25
Speaker
Yeah, like monsters under your bed. I mean, anytime I sleep with like my legs out of the blankets, obviously the monsters are coming, but that's what everyone does that. Yeah, I agree. um I just have something in here that says passionate about being silly.
00:20:42
Speaker
Cause I was thinking the other day just about how passionate I am about being silly. Like that's like my number one, like, like guiding light. Being silly. I just want to be silly. Yeah. Like that's what I'm most passionate about. Yeah. Um, so I hope you girls are too. I've been getting a lot of, um, believe this TikToks and she,
00:21:11
Speaker
Basically, my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend is an influencer, like on an influencer and- Has a podcast.
Reflections on Relationships and Infidelity
00:21:19
Speaker
Has a podcast. And is also and but also someone I know is ex. Yeah, so she comes up on my TikTok for you page often. And this is my boyfriend that did me the fucking dirtiest. And I actually don't hate him or even dislike him, like we're cool after that. But she will post as if this man is the greatest Like, oh, my boyfriend made me breakfast in bed. Oh, and then she will put like red flags. Like if your boyfriend is doing XXY. And you're like, meanwhile, he did that. He did all of those things to me.
00:21:51
Speaker
and i like Do you think he changed? Do you think it's just like if yes a man is not with the right woman, he's not. He's not. I think he's definitely better to her. I also think I was 21 and he was 32. So I think he'd respect me as a woman, which is like obviously fault for dating. I was 21 year old. I had never had a boyfriend before and never dated anyone in my entire life. Stop. Yeah.
00:22:16
Speaker
And like, he wasn't, your first boyfriend was 10, 12 years older than you. Damn. And he wasn't like, he didn't really teach me anything about sex. Like, I feel like I'm, was just learning about it. Like,
00:22:34
Speaker
maybe three years ago. Like he wasn't like, Oh, let's try this. or Oh, you, this might feel like, like I didn't, I also didn't finish one time dating him for two years. o I didn't have my first orgasm until I used a vibrator after we broke up. And then you were like, Oh, this is what yeah the girls are talking about. And he would also would come in like 15 seconds. So you had no um you had no like conversation around sex. It wasn't like, do this and this and this. That's the worst. Never. And he would come so quickly, but I thought that was the normal. So I had friends that were like, yeah, we wouldn't have sex for like 45 minutes. I was like, 45? What? That's like crazy. Because it was literally like three pumps maybe done for like my whole... Was he even like getting you wet before? No. And so...
00:23:20
Speaker
I also feel like- So you were as if you were in high school and neither of you knew anything, but he was a 30 something year old man? Yes. What the fuck? I remember he did eat me up sometimes, but like I just, there was, I had no concept. And I thought that was normal. Is that normal? Don't ask me cause I let, I let, well, I'll do like the pull out.
00:23:47
Speaker
I'll let people come and me are like, I'll do the pull out. But like, I'm not, I'm not big on um condoms. But now I'm not on any birth control. So I maybe use your condom like twice in my life. yeah Also cut out what I just said about ah and but you could keep everything else. Okay.
00:24:05
Speaker
um So anyways, she's posting about how this is the best man she's ever met, all the things, talking him up. And I do think he's changed, and I do think he's better like for her. Also, what I dated him, he didn't have a driver's license, and like now he has a driver's license and a car. um To be fair, yeah that but he has epilepsy, so like you can't have a driver's license if you have Caesars. like I'm wondering why you dated him, I guess.
00:24:29
Speaker
I had no idea. No concept. yeah like i It sounds weird, but like I'd never had a guy pursue me before. He was the very first guy that ever like actually pursued me that was like normal enough. Yeah. And he's like stereotypically attractive. So I feel like all my friends were like, wait, he's hot and like he's older. So I was like, okay, yeah, cool. But I had no concept of like Any, I had never dated, I'd never been on a date. I've never had a situationship. I've never, nothing. Interesting. I've never done any of the parts of sex, ever. Like no kind of foreplay stuff. First, like I just didn't know anything. Right. So you were like, this is normal, great and fun. I think I wasn't,
00:25:19
Speaker
I don't know, I think I was just accepting what it was without questioning anything, if that makes sense. Yeah, which is like kind of what every girl has done. I just happened to be in high school. Yeah. Like I just did it. I just can't believe a 30 year old man wasn't like, I feel like a lot of older men like get off on the fact that they have like knowledge over at you and they want to teach you and like they make it a whole thing. Well, we broke up for like five months in between dating because he was like, I obviously think we'll be together for a while, but like you've never slept with anyone else. And like, I don't trust that you'll just never want to do that for your whole life. So he broke up with me. He's like, you need to like sleep with other people. He breaks up with me. I obviously go sleep with someone else. Then he tries to get back together and he was like, have you slept with anyone else? I was like, yeah. He was like, Oh my God, I can't look at you. He couldn't look at me, talk to me, sleep with me for like weeks.
00:26:16
Speaker
He was just so insane. Anyways, fast forward. To see the girl like saying that he said she could put all these things, I'm just like, sure. But also,
00:26:30
Speaker
It's just, it's mind fuckery all ah across the board. Cause you're like, A, comparing it, why weren't you doing this to me? B. He was doing all of those things. He was just also super terrible. Like he was a good boyfriend on paper. Like he, when she's like, Oh, he made me write to bed. Oh, he got me taking this. Oh, I'm like, yeah, he was doing all those things. yeah He just also was.
00:26:51
Speaker
two pumps and then he's out and then. But also messaging every Instagram model that's ever existed. Including who is dating now probably. Right. it' So he was messaging like girls with only just like 50. Wait, how'd you catch him? 50 plus. Remember the stories like he was having a seizure. Remember that story?
00:27:14
Speaker
I don't think so. He was having a seizure and he had just changed his insurance. I'm not like a phone go through her. Also, I would have never. Have you told us on the podcast? No. I feel like I must have been wasted when you told me this. Oh, I would never in a million years think that he was cheating on me because I had no concept of like what you should be looking out for. I was so naive.
00:27:36
Speaker
so He's having a seizure. He just got new insurance. You always say don't call 911 because it's like so expensive. Yeah. So you have to time the seizure. And if it's over a minute long, because seizures aren't inherently dangerous. Only if you hurt yourself or if it's for too long, or just having a seizure doesn't mean you have to like go to the hospital right away. Okay. So it's, they're not really dangerous, only dangerous if like you bite your tongue or if you whatever. So usually if you pick someone else and put them pick someone up and put them on their side, which like,
00:28:07
Speaker
Is this getting like so serious as an episode? I don't know. I mean, just keep going. Okay. So I had to go and look on his phone and um for his insurance, which is in his email. So I had never looked in his phone ever. I just knew his password. So I go and look at his email and I see all of his messages like coming in on the notifications on the top. The sounds fake. And so I'm like seeing him get a DM, that's like,
00:28:35
Speaker
I don't remember what the first one was, but it was like, what the fuck is this? So then he stopped seizing and I'm just like letting him rest. I was like, whatever, I'm going to go look at what the rest of this is. So I started looking and it's like.
00:28:47
Speaker
He's talking to girls in a way that isn't his real personality. It's much more sexual and like smooth. It's like me when I'm texting sometimes to guys and I'm like half doing a bit or I'm like, come over and fuck me. Yes, it's like that, but he's not that kind of guy in real life. And then all of a sudden he's like, I'm going to buy you a ticket to be like, we are living in a studio apartment in Mid City. You were living together? Yeah, well, it was COVID, so it was COVID. Oh yeah.
00:29:12
Speaker
we And you're like, do you think you're going to fucking have visitors? But also you don't have enough money to pay for someone's flight out here. You're just trying to flex like, what the fuck? So I'm looking at all these and I'm like, this is not real. And I don't think you've ever told me, because I think even if I was wasted, I would have remembered. No, I'm looking through all these and I'm like, are you fucking? So I go outside and call my friends, we're hysterically laughing. I'm like, wait, you guys, I just got fucking dogged out. I think it's the funniest till this day. Like, cause he was having a seizure while you were seeing it's not even that it's just like, Oh, I can't believe I got like, what is going on? I got so badly. Like it was just bad. So I'm looking, he has like 50 plus messages, like,
00:29:57
Speaker
you're so, be just all of these things where I'm just like, Okay, so I go back inside, here's the thing, he has stress induced seizures. So I can't bring up to him that I just went through his phone after he just stopped seizing because for one, he's- Of course you fucking can't. For one? He's stressed about cheating on you, so you can't confront him. No, literally he's gonna get too stressed out. And then also, you're kind of like woozy after a seizure, like you're just not all the way there, so I can't confront him right now, so I go inside.
00:30:28
Speaker
He's so used to me being up his butt after he has a seizure so I go inside I'm like hey you good he's like I'm like hey you good hey buddy you good he's like are you okay I was like yeah why he's like ah you just seem like you don't really care and I was like So, another thing about having seizures is that you get very paranoid. So, I was like, hey, are you okay? He'd be like, why? Like, why are you asked like he doesn't know that I know. It's very weird. and like Are you aware that you're having a seizure when you're having a seizure? No. Okay. Afterwards, you're very paranoid. Like, everything everyone like you're scared. It's just an interesting thing.
00:31:06
Speaker
so I have to take him to the emergency room knowing all that I know and also be like hearing towards him. So we get there. I'm like not going in the room with him. I'm sitting in the waiting room and he's like, can you come back here, please? I need you. Please come back here. I go back to the room. He's like, you're just acting weird. Like I was like, I don't know. He's like, look, I know you're trying not to stress me out, but you're stressing out even more. Like, why are you being weird? I was like,
00:31:33
Speaker
Okay, well, mind you, in this time of two hours, I'd already texted Peyton, like I need to move out. She'd already found a room in Kelsey's place where I live now. And I'd already scheduled to move into a new place like in the matter of like two hours, but since I saw this, yeah so I was like, All right, well, first, I'm gonna apologize about your phone. Invaded privacy. Sorry about that. But like, I saw some things that I think you should be single. And I'm also moving out right when we get back to your apartment.
00:32:01
Speaker
He starts sweating. He starts crying. he's like He also has a daughter. He's like, wait, but i just would you see? I'm like, you know what's on your phone. you know what i I'm not going to run. It's fine. like What? And then he was like, well, I just think, can I just? And I was like, what would you say to your daughter right now if she told you everything that I just saw on your phone? What would you tell her to do? he was like I would tell her to just hear him out. And I was like, right. Okay. So the doctor comes in. He hid his tongue open in the middle, like split through the middle. The doctor's like, you might want to sit down. A lot of the girlfriends get like queasy when they, so I'm like, yeah, no, I'm fine. So just we, he gets stitched up. We go back to his house. He's bawling, crying on his knees. I grabbed all my stuff and I left and I just like never.
00:32:49
Speaker
Nothing, never. I mean, he texts me, he sent me gifts for like three years after that. sent me sugar fish every day. And I was just like, yeah, no. Yeah, we talked about that's what ex-boyfriends should do. Yeah. Send gifts. Yeah. What the fuck? But then- Wait, were you ever sad or were you the whole time you were just very much like- No, I was sad for maybe two weeks because he was having stress induced seizures and his friends were calling me like, can you just come here? Cause he'll like calm down for years. So one time I had to go to the hospital, but I brought my mom.
00:33:19
Speaker
And then, other than that, like, we never kissed after, we never went on a date after, we never hooked up after. It was just like, I saw him sometimes, or sometimes I just respond to his text. We're just like, strictly his friends. Slay. That's like the slay-est slay of the slays, especially for your first like, love. Are you joking? I don't think I ever liked him that much. I think I just accepted. I did. I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him, but I didn't know. See, I don't know that my body knows the difference because it's like, there I'm sure there's people that have just liked me a lot. So I've liked them, yeah but no matter what, there's like maybe a couple I haven't been sick after, but most of the time, no matter what, I'm sick to my stomach. But it goes back to like being ingrained in my mind that I would be like married. Like I thought, you know, 25 or 28 was late to get married. So it's like,
00:34:12
Speaker
That was also another story, but still. I don't know that I like missed his presence, but I was like, how the fuck did this happen to me? Kind of thing. I think I was sad because like, I was just like, how did I not know this is so I just wait. So have you never crashed out? No, you've never properly crashed out over a guy with my second boyfriend after I broke up with him.
00:34:39
Speaker
when I heard he was with someone else I crashed out. But... Oh, right. When your sister... Yeah. Yeah. Didn't we cut that from an episode or like cut that episode? I don't know. I think we cut the crash out episode. But like it was kind of silly. It wasn't serious, but no, I've never like actually like crazy crashed out. I've crashed out every single breakup, even friend breakups I crashed out. I mean, you know.
00:35:04
Speaker
It's fun. It's definitely fun. and that's what i That's why I've said that I'm like, I must just like to like feel feelings or like yeah feel the drama and like, I don't know, its I must just fucking love it. Because why else wouldn't I just like be settled down at this point? Like what am I doing, you know?
Trust and Societal Expectations
00:35:24
Speaker
I don't know. I just feel like everyone has their time where they're like, I feel like I trust myself so much to know like, I don't know. I just feel like if you are just not drawn to like being in a relationship right now, I feel like I i trust so I trust myself too. But it's like it's still like, I almost feel like I am part of the first generation that's doing things later in life. yeah So I'm still like doubting myself in a lot of ways because I see everyone around me going to the next phase of life and I'm very comfortable where i'm am I am and like happy, like especially when I'm ah in my own bubble.
00:36:04
Speaker
But I'll then be reminded like, you know, if I go home or whatever. that that's not necessarily the norm and I can kind of get like mine fucked again yeah into thinking something's wrong with me even though like I know if I wanted to be married or if I, you know, wanted to have all these things. I feel completely married to having kids completely. easy My thing is I'm looking for consistency. exactly And ah the second i I let my guard down, I can't
00:36:37
Speaker
have that ever go away. yeah Because it's like if I'm going to, I am so self-sufficient and so in my own world that if I'm ever going to let someone take care of me or all this stuff and needs to be for a very fucking long time, because I don't want to like pick myself up from that. Because I've already done that in relationships where it's like not even necessarily living together or having children or whatever.
00:37:03
Speaker
and I crashed the fuck out. So I'm so scared of like the non-consistency and like divorce or you know that change. um But at the same time, I also still change a lot. So I don't know that I would have been able to be in a consistent relationship and then like change. I don't know if that ever goes away. Even Like in my relationship, I feel like I'm happy, but I question all the time, like, am I just doing this because I want to be married and have kids and it's comfortable? And it's like, even me logically knowing that I'm not, I still have the thought of like, I don't know. Like, am I just being in your head doing what everyone, like all my friends are getting engaged. all my I'm like, oh my God, I can't wait. But am am I like, just doing it because everyone else is doing it? It's really hard to peel back and be like, wait, do I want this or is this ingrained in me? Yeah. but I respect that you're not doing it. It's kind of like the, the like gay thing. It's like, yeah. am i Am I gay? Yeah. Like am I straight or am I like so ingrained that like, yeah like, do I have like, uh, what it was it called, uh, internalized homophobia that I don't even know.
00:38:19
Speaker
No, I think about that too. I'm like, am I comfortable? Am I gay? Am I just- Am I mindfucked? Yes. Yeah. But then I'm like, wait, but I'm happy with the guy, but I'm like, well, are you just saying that? Because you don't know. Right. And that's how I feel. I'm like, I'm really happy being alone. And I'm like, well, is that complacency? Yeah. Or is that just like comfort? And that's not really the point of life. Yeah. The point of life isn't comfort, but it's also like,
00:38:42
Speaker
I don't have much comfort in my life or consistency. So I also just have to find it within myself. So yeah, I think like something I've been God hits the blunt. i
00:38:56
Speaker
I think something that I've been just trying to implement is like just doing it scared. Like even if I am in the back, back, back, back of my mind, just in a relationship because that's what I'm supposed to be doing at this age.
00:39:08
Speaker
Okay, I'll do it till I'm not enjoying it because I am enjoying it. So what's the. or okay, I am gay, maybe I'll find, maybe I'll like someone when I'm 40 and I'll fucking get divorced, like, whatever. But I am always questioning, like, whatever I'm not doing, I'm always questioning, should I be doing that? And like, even in my head, I'm like, I love my boyfriend, but then I'm also like, ew, are you sure? I don't know, like, there's always something that's just like, ew, you have a boyfriend. Or I'm like, even sabotage, like, sweet moments.
00:39:42
Speaker
Yeah. say and fucking Even when I know I'm loving it in my mind and I'm like, this is exactly what I need. like They're kissing my forehead. They're giving me affirmations, but I'll literally be like, I won't. I'll be like, in my mind, like this is heaven. This is what I need. And then I'm like,
00:40:04
Speaker
It's not normal. It's hard to differentiate which part of it is like anxiety and being happy, which I think is 90% of mine. and then there's also Sometimes I don't know how to react to things properly. Yeah.
00:40:16
Speaker
Cause I also don't, what am I going to be like? Thank you. Yeah. I think, okay. The cringiest thing is when something like sweet cringy happens in my relationship. And in my head, I think of, if anyone saw me doing this, I have that reaction versus no one can see this. Why wouldn't I just soak it in? But then it's like, if anyone saw me right now, I would fucking kill myself. So I actually have to say, get the fuck off me. yeah I wonder if people like back in the day used to be this in their head as we are. Well, there is like no Instagram. There's like women aren't sharing the bad stuff with their friends. ah Yeah, that's true. It's just so I have been wanting to talk about
Historical Gossip and Episode Closure
00:41:01
Speaker
that. Did you know that that's why gossip like ever had like a a negative connotation? Yeah.
00:41:07
Speaker
those fucking men were trying to get women not to gossip. So they made it they made it gossip as a taboo thing. And that's why you have to question everything and trust no one. Okay, I'm sorry. Look in the camera right now. My butt looks gigantic. You're not you're not um doing like the best you could and I don't know how to, like the angles just to, there's nothing I can do.
00:41:44
Speaker
You're gonna, it's gonna be fine though.
00:41:48
Speaker
Um yeah so anyway that was weirdly meta yeah like feeling feeling drunk um hope you guys enjoyed and honestly like lilas yeah i don't even know we're gonna have to like send it to Peyton and see what she says honestly and Okay, like serious all of a sudden? Definitely be silly for the next one. Well, yeah, obviously. Bye guys. Love you.