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blackout potato
3.4k Plays5 months ago
s2ep9: you know the person in your friend group who does stuff so embarrassing that it makes you feel better about yourself ? that’s eems. listen to the girls as they share (actually) embarrassing stories, payton takes the stand to prove she’s not the mom of the group, and all the memorable “lessons” from their actual moms.
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Transcript
Opening and Introductions
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey, Chris. Hi, Eames. What's up? I have to tell you something. Oh my God. Okay. Should I three-way Peyton? Yeah, call me. Okay. Hello. Hey, Eames needs to tell us something. I'm three-waying you in. Okay, immediately. Okay, so... Yo, yo, yo. You're turning into three-way radio. What's up? What's up? It's your host, DJ Chrissy. Do you guys want to introduce yourselves or do you want me to? You can.
00:00:28
Speaker
Um, we can do that this is e easy. Iman, um, but our friends call her E. Um, this is potato.
00:00:41
Speaker
You guys, someone called the other day and me and Iman lost it. Like what the fuck? I think it makes sense.
Weekly Experiences and Anecdotes
00:00:55
Speaker
It does it doesn't, but I love it.
00:00:58
Speaker
Well, potatoes are my favorite food, basically. Okay, girls, how is how was your week? Any life updates for me? um I feel like I just am in an eternal like ah state of just waiting for the house to be done.
00:01:16
Speaker
So I feel like I have no new updates. I feel like I live Groundhog Day. It's like every single day is the same. And I'm just as tired as the last. So the last couple of episodes, I've just been on here like, yeah, put me on watch everyone because I am suicidal. but I am not doing well, not bringing the energy. Yeah, I was on set all week. I don't feel like I have really any updates other than like my mortal enemy on set, which I don't even want to get into them. I don't want to give them energy.
00:01:47
Speaker
I wanted to put it on three ways so bad. ah We can. Okay. Okay. Um, it's just like, you know, there's those people that just piss you the fuck off for no reason. And then they also give you reasons. And you're like, I couldn't fucking hate you more. My favorite thing to do is talk shit about him. But like, I'm also very aware that I'm like, why do I care? Why do I keep thinking about him? Why is he bother me so much with that one influencer? We cannot stand. I believe you guys fall over. No, I wanted to send you guys her Instagram story the other day, but I had been sending her so much that I was like, okay, I'm being weird that I'm talking so much shit about her, so I didn't do it. Well, she's muted. She is so bothersome that I could never follow her, so the fact that you guys can just get served her content to disrupt your day like that is crazy. Well, I know her. Yeah, she's muted one on mine, but two, I'm going to see this person. I see her too. I just fucking ignore her.
00:02:46
Speaker
Unfollow. I guess we don't like know each other. I just know of her. Yeah. Because she's actually, well, we know each other because she was actually really fucking rude to me at a dinner, the rudest person I've ever. but And now she's getting air time on Thruway. Our enemies went in again. Well, girls, I've been brewing up some prompts just because I,
00:03:13
Speaker
write things down when you know, I get like ah reminded of like a weird story or you know, I'm high and think of a good question. So anyway The other day I was thinking of quite possibly the weirdest thing I've ever fucking done. Like still to this day, I am like, that is so weird. And for me to say that, I feel like it's gotta be pretty fucking weird and embarrassing. Cause I don't really get that embarrassed or weirded out, whatever. But one time,
00:03:49
Speaker
When my my friend Soph and Baron lived here, they were having a house party and I went to the bathroom at one point and I was so drunk. Like this is like, I don't know why this is so embarrassing, but this is so fucking embarrassing to me.
00:04:08
Speaker
I was so drunk that I decided to like draw myself a bath. And I just like took a bad party at a party in the middle of the party. I drew a bath and I took a bath. Was this like a party with strangers or like, did you know everyone there? I like knew most of the people, but like just the weirdest, just so fucking weird. Like it's I yeah.
00:04:36
Speaker
I hate that I'm admitting and I'm hate that I'm telling people because it's pretty upsetting. What was my mindset? where What was going on? like wasn' I feel like that's like Loki and Iman thing to do. yeah I know. I would totally do that. I know you would. um But yeah, that and then I feel like the Jeremy Piven thing was also kind of weird and fucking annoying and embarrassing.
Embarrassing Stories and Social Faux Pas
00:05:03
Speaker
um Well, do you want to explain what that is? Well, yeah, back in the day, um, me and Jesse went to New York to visit our friend Kat when she was living there. And this was, I think I was like still in college maybe or something. I don't know. And, um, we were at this restaurant and Jeremy Piven was sitting right behind us, um, with a couple and it was just him and a couple. And there was just like a seat.
00:05:36
Speaker
open next to him. So I um was so fucked up at one point that like, ah like unannounced, I didn't tell anyone I was doing this, I just thought up and I just sat next to him and had a double date with these people and like, shout out Jeremy, you were really fucking... Wait, who's Jeremy Piven? He was on... um Entourage. Entourage. He's like the agent. Yeah. Oh, Ari Gold. Or he's Ari Gold. Oh my God. Okay. It was like kind of the same in person, I would say like pretty similar. So I'm surprised he didn't just like push me the fuck out, but I sat there. I had a drink. I probably ate some of their food. Like it was the most disrespectful thing. So you just love crashing double dates. That's like your thing. Yeah, apparently.
00:06:28
Speaker
And we got a picture together too. Just so fucking embarrassing. Anyway, those are my top two embarrassing moments. What about you girls? Okay, here's the thing is that I feel like I do so many weird things that I don't necessarily think they're weird, but other people would. So I feel like I was having a hard time thinking of like my own weird things because i I'm just weird. These were deep burrowed in my head because I think I would have done the same. I think I would have said the same thing if I were put on the spot, but like they just kind of like crept up in my like memories and I've sent a shiver down my spine and I'm like,
00:07:05
Speaker
You know what? i need to I need to get these off my chest. I need to be telling people because like I don't get embarrassed much. to it It means something. and I mean, I can say something really embarrassing, but I think my weird things. I don't know if Peyton can think of a weird thing for me probably, um but I have a lot of embarrassing things. like when i got my period on a first date on like this yacht date and my tampon was coming out with blood on it like know and i didn't know until i saw a video of myself the next day like a selfie video no and i could see my bloody tampon coming out from under my bikini bottoms
00:07:40
Speaker
No. feed Yeah. And like I don't even know if anyone told me because I blacked out so hard. Because all I did was take an Adderall and eat nothing and just like house shots. So the guy that I was with on the date had to... I woke up with a bunch of toilet paper in my bathing suit bottoms. So the guy had to like take me to the bathroom. He put toilet paper to stop my bathing.
00:08:05
Speaker
I remember that day and that boat day you went on because I remember looking at the photos after and being like, holy shit, that is so embarrassing for you. But it wasn't like your friends. I had no friends on the boat. It wasn't like a random group of people that you didn't know. And they were all vloggers with over a million followers in the way that I was so afraid. Think of the probably number one vlogger of all time was on the boat. It was like 10 of us. It's like the weirdest. Like they're not people who are like cool who are going to pull you over and be like, hey, no like here's what's happening. They're going to like talk shit about it because they're just I'm probably still in the group chats.
00:08:48
Speaker
Oh, poor so like things like that happen to me that are so embarrassing. That's not even funny. You just feel bad for me. I feel like to measure embarrassment, it's almost like not being able to explain yourself and like not the people not around you having context. So you just like have to know that that's like their only fucking like story of you. Yeah, so scary.
00:09:10
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like the something weird. I wasn't even like on purpose trying to do this. It was like definitely during my blackout era, which lasted like 10 years is like I would like wake up at someone's home like a guy's home, like not someone I hooked up with even just like you'd wake up somewhere and be like.
00:09:27
Speaker
Like maybe you like I have this one memory where I was in Mexico and I like made out with this guy that I've known since like middle school who's from my hometown. It's probably like 22 or something. And I like know him, but like not.
00:09:43
Speaker
We're not like best friends. yeah We like just like we talked when I was in like high school, like we would text, but like he was one of the ones I would never speak to in real life because it scared me. But anyways, I woke up im in Cabo. I woke up like on the balcony at his in his hotel room, like with his friends. He was in college. like I guess he had actually just left college and I was in college. um And I woke up there and like I didn't know the guys he went to school with because it wasn't at my school. And I just had to like leave. And i I feel like looking at me from an outsider's perspective, you'd be like, oh, that weird girl that stayed over. But really, I was just like so shitfaced that I just like fell asleep and like no one was comfortable and enough to wake me up. The thing about blackout potato is that you are trying to hang out.
00:10:27
Speaker
like you're all trying to go home you are literally yeah that's probably yeah i guess that's pretty embarrassing like lingering too long but it's also i don't know though like i was blackout so i don't know what i was doing like it's also like when you come in the room knows you literally like there yeah I don't remember the evening though. That's the problem. Like, I don't know how we got there. I don't know what's happening. I don't know. Like it was just, it's just like weird. I feel like there's so many instances that people like, I don't know what they talk about, but I know they're like,
00:11:05
Speaker
There has to be things that I did when I was blackout that I don't remember. Obviously, like it's embarrassing to hook up with someone that you look back on or like, ew. I've done that before for sure. It's pretty embarrassing because it's like, ah I feel like, oh, other people know things about me that
Social Dynamics and Friend Roles
00:11:19
Speaker
I don't know. Yes. ideas I don't want to know personally.
00:11:24
Speaker
in our like fucking, we probably had like a 30, 45 minute car ride home. Don't remember one fucking thing. And I'm like yeah terrified to say one thing that I like to repeat myself. That you've already said. Like I haven't asked him where he lives because I know he already told me and I don't want to ask again. Cause he's just going to call me the fuck out. Like he's already like, you need to clean up your act. You, your ashtray has so many cigarettes and I still haven't cleaned it out actually. judgey He's so judgy and last night he was trying to get me to come over to hang out with ah him and the boys to watch the fight. And um we were just talking randomly and he was like, and I was at Shake Shack because I'm addicted to hamburgers right now or cheeseburgers. You guys should know that.
00:12:14
Speaker
um Something I needed to get off my chest also. um But I have been eating Shake Shack like two or three times a week. Anyway, I was there getting a burger and he was like, you love burgers. And then he said he was going to take me somewhere. And I was like, I don't know what that is. And he was like, well, I'm going to teach you about bur ah burgers. And I was like, I'm going to teach you about burgers. And he goes, well, he goes.
00:12:37
Speaker
He goes, yup. He goes, yeah, that would be appropriate since you already took taught me about clogged toilets. And I was like, okay, way to get me to come over because now I am a little embarrassed in his house and look in every single crevice. No, I know. It's like, oh, he got to literally be in my space and like snoop around when I was blacked out in my own little fucking world. I didn't know you had a second bathroom in your house. I had no clue.
00:13:06
Speaker
Yeah, I'm pretty rich. Also something I want to call out was that someone in our DM said like, I love the dynamic with like P being like the mom of the group. When I tell you guys, Peyton.
00:13:19
Speaker
is not the mom of the group. Sometimes when she's drunk she can't even speak English. Like she doesn't even like know the words coming out. Like I'm like the drunk and maybe the drunken housewife. Maybe that's like yeah I know that I can overlap. It's like you know how I was thinking about this today because I've been living Groundhog Day like I said.
00:13:39
Speaker
And I'm like, this is why housewives like would just do Xanax and drink wine all day. Because like I have a ah job to do when I have too much to do per hours of the day. just like Because editing and all that stuff obviously takes a long time when you're doing video and all these things. It's not like my job is hard. I don't want to say that my job is hard. It's just time consuming.
00:14:01
Speaker
Even me with having a job, like when it comes to the weekends, I'm like, this is why um housewives just drink are like drink suburban house. like It's like a stereotype. I'm like, this is it. This is a country club mom. I lifetime living and don kit i was like, mom, how did you like not drink when we were growing up? And she was like, I couldn't. If something happened, I'd like take you to the hospital. And I was like, see, I don't know if kids are for me.
00:14:27
Speaker
Well, that's what me and Joe talked about. Like once we have kids, like one of us needs to be sober enough to drive. No, like there's Uber. No, you can't count on an Uber if you're like, kid is like in an emergency. I know. I don't know. I just kind of made me think about things differently. I was like, oh, yeah, Joe's not really a drinker.
00:14:50
Speaker
I'm actually like mad at him right now because of that. I'm like, can we go do something fun? Like bar crawl, makeshift bar crawl around. And he's like, sure. He'll like literally drive. No, have like a beer. You're like, whoa and i' holdingdding Oh my God, you really don't get partying out of your system when you're. No way. We don't, we don't do anything. Like I will drink like three drinks in a night and I'll be the shit faced one. I'm going to be like,
00:15:17
Speaker
Yeah. And then like either fighting or being obsessed with him. Okay. Well, I think what we were just talking about how Iman, you said they think that P is the mom. And I think people would also assume that you are type A all around. And we've talked about how like, you don't keep a wallet on you. you um you don't have She never ever has a purse. You've never carried a person never a purse. By the way, we went to into Thunderbird the other day without her ID and face card yeah she got the face card nod and I was like, that's why you're a regular bitch. I just never have an ID on you. Yeah. Yeah, ah but it worked. So yeah, and I also think people would assume that I'm just like batshit crazy all around, but I'm actually quite responsible.
00:16:11
Speaker
I feel like the assumption could be that I'm the country club mom who was wild and now I've been tamed because now I live in the suburbs essentially. But really you're just bored that you don't want to be tamed. You want something. But that's like the country club mom. Like I'm at home having a freaking joke out drinking right now, having a high noon. Last night I poured us wine. He drank half of his glass and I drank like four glasses of wine. Well he was the thing is that like Kristen's the most insane when she's sober. So it's like she, you probably think, oh, when they go out, like Kristen's probably like,
00:16:40
Speaker
doing a cartwheel into a split. Kristin's doing that at 9 a.m. on West Hollywood on the way to Equinox. She's not like, she's like, if we were all going out and like underage, Kristin wouldn't necessarily be the craziest one there. It might be me or Peyton, but like. I like this mellow because I get my energy out. Yeah. Like when you're drunk, you're more mellow. Your mouth is just a little more ruthless. Exactly. Because I feel like other than what I say, yeah, I feel like I'm just way less aware, I guess.
00:17:11
Speaker
Well, when I'm drunk, I'm just sitting there like giggling. Yeah. Like who said that about me recently or somewhat recently they were like, Peyton, you just sit there and just like, you're just laughing. You're like a little baby, like a happy baby. That's it. she's But that's the thing. Yeah. I think that's what happen even Kristen ah drunk is like, Kristen, you're still as wild and you're outwardly crazy. We're like, I'm more like inwardly crazy. And I'll like occasionally do something outwardly crazy that everyone's like,
00:17:40
Speaker
That is not your personality. personality like whoa re it in Whoa. She's like the best. Also like drunk sidekick. Like if you have a mission where you want to go out and meet a guy and you like need someone to like hype you up, get like get drunk with you, go on the date with you. Like Peyton will go talk to someone else while you're doing your own thing. And if you like try to include her, she'll be like, no, you need to like get a boyfriend. I'll be okay. I'm talking to these new friends and we're actually going to go somewhere after this and don't follow us.
00:18:10
Speaker
That's a good wing woman. I like drunk me, it's so fun, she needs to come out more drunk. Okay, so I also, this reminds me of a TikTok I saw that I sent to Joe the other day and it was like talking about the difference between like girls' night and guys' night and how like guys' night, you need like women involved for it to be fun, like they're going somewhere where women are. yeah Girls' night, he was like, basically you just see all the girls in the club in their own section and they're having their own drinks and just like giggling, laughing forever and the guys are just in the corner like.
00:18:39
Speaker
Yeah, like dancing on each other and like the guys are in the corner Just like how do y'all do this cuz typically guys go out to talk to girls and this is a thing I've dealt with with Joe because he's been like oh girls night. Okay, like I know what that means and I'm like What you it's not the same as guys night cuz like he doesn't really go out Okay,
00:18:58
Speaker
ah it ok I also think people think that I do that every time I'm not doing that every time. I think if you listen to this podcast, you know to take everything we say with humor and... Yeah, I'm not eating out every Girls Night. It's like, look at the blue moon. Okay, what are you saying about Girls Night, P?
00:19:22
Speaker
Well, I was just saying how girls like, we don't need guys. Like what Joe thinks when I say girls night, it means like, I'm there to talk to boys. And I'm like, no, I'm there. I take wing womaning very seriously. And it's my favorite thing to do. Um, no, one time me and pain went to Thunderbird and there was a guy next to me who was like at a glance, probably my type.
00:19:41
Speaker
And so I go to lean over to talk to Peyton and she's like, um, there's a guy next to you. You need to start a conversation with him. And so she goes on
Family Advice and Upbringing
00:19:48
Speaker
her phone and like, isn't letting me talk to her. She's making me have to talk to this guy. So when the guys start talking and then I like kind of leave, but lean over to Peyton and blah, blah, she has like already made new friends because someone walked over and starts talking to Winnie. And so I go to talk to me and she goes, did you get his number yet? I was like,
00:20:04
Speaker
No, I did. She's like, get his number. And I'm like, he can fucking hear you, Peyton. So I turn over and my mom said, um, can I have your number? Like, it was giving me that. Get your number. Like, he could definitely hear us. And then he was like, hey, like, what's your number? But it was like, he is not having it. I'm crying. Wait, you've been doing that to me, though, lately, too, Eames. But like, in a, it's fun in a loving older sister way, just steering in the right direction. Yeah, I mean, yeah.
00:20:32
Speaker
I think boys are like a fun hobby. Like that's, that's what they are. Like it's fun to just be like, Hey guys. like Hey boys. what We're always making fun of them. Like as, as the conversations I'm holding, they never know. They never are checking in or getting it. yeah If they do, they don't match the energy. I think I told Kristen this too. My mom told me, um, yeah guys always have to like you more than you like them. And if you like a guy more, you might as well just kill yourself.
00:21:00
Speaker
I was like 12. So you might as well just kill yourself. And she like didn't crack a smile and just kept driving. And I was like, what the fuck? Do you know what my mom told me? Oh, in the car, too. i have this This is like a very important memory of my life. There's two things I learned in the car with my mom. The first one is never accelerate into a turn. You only accelerate out of a turn or never break out of a turn. She was like, it makes the break. And we're we're like in the minivan. My mom was young when she had me, so she was just like,
00:21:30
Speaker
We're flying down the Florida highways at 105 miles an hour in a Honda, whatever the mini man is. Um, or like Toyota Sienna or whatever it is. And the car is literally like, we're taking turns on the highway. That's like, you know, those like,
00:21:45
Speaker
where all the highways come together yeah and you're on like, okay. We're like, she's taking these turns like at 80 miles an hour in a fucking minivan. And she's like, girls, girls, girls, you never break out of a turn. Do you see the centrifugal force? It makes you fly this way. You always accelerate out of a turn. And she's like race car speed driving.
00:22:02
Speaker
the minivan. And me and Riley are in the back like, I'm six. And I'm just like, okay, like noted. The other thing she said was basically she was like, I'm not going to tell you do not have sex because you're gonna. Also, this is, I was young. I was probably around 11 or 12, maybe a little younger, but I had previously gone to school like in kindergarten and come home from a class one day and been like, mom, what sex? And I was literally five.
00:22:29
Speaker
And it's because I lived in the panhandle of Florida and a lot of the kids do not have a lot of parental supervision. Like it's like their older siblings are watching them because like their parents are like God knows where. And there's a lot of people I grew up with that lived like just, it was very normal to live in the trailer park at this point in my life.
00:22:44
Speaker
So like a lot of them had parents that were like incarcerated or like just gone. A lot of people on Reddit are very confused because half of them are like, Peyton's a trust pen baby. And the other half are like, no, she grew up in a trailer park like she's lying. Like there's a lot of like conversations about this. It's confusing because when I say like if I say like home is Fort Worth, everyone's like, what do you mean? Here's the thing. We didn't have any money. Then we did have money. Well, we didn't have any money and we secretly did when I and I didn't know it. And then we had It was the most extreme switch of things. And now it's settled, you guys. Seriously, I don't want to see any more questions about that on Reddit. I'm over it. so It does sound like I'm lying though. But anyway, so I went home and I told my mom at five, like, what's sex? So she is like, she's 26 at this time when I was five. So she like pulls out the book and we go through like factually what sex is. And I am just like,
00:23:37
Speaker
I'm a facts person. Didn't think it was weird, but it was interesting to learn about. You're like, okay, that's facts. So that's why at like 10. What you say? She like explained like to the, the P and the B. She brought out a science textbook and I looked at what sex was from a scientific standpoint. Like what happens? The penis goes in the vagina.
00:23:59
Speaker
the finishing basically, yes, I came home and I was like, what sex? Because she was like, I don't know how else to tell you this because now at school, these kids are talking about sex because they have no parental supervision and they know what it is. So anyway, when I was like, I would say between 10 and 12, I think it was before I was 12, I have a very vivid memory of sitting in the backseat of the car. My mom's talking to us and she's like, girls, girls, like I'm not going to tell you do not have sex because I know you will.
00:24:25
Speaker
and I'm like, yeah, in the back of the seat. I'm 10, but I'm so just like, you're like, factually, yes, I will have sex, yes. I'm like, statistically, that probably is true. She was like, I just have one thing you should always kind of keep in mind. You don't want to do everything with everyone. So like, let's say you do have sex, which you probably will, but like, let's say you get to the point of marriage and you've already done, like your husband says he wants to do this like kinky, crazy thing. That's going to be for you guys, but you've already done it with someone else. Like that kind of sucks basically. And I'm sitting in the back like, yeah, that makes sense. Like check. Sounds great. You're saving anal for marriage.
00:25:05
Speaker
I don't think I'm an anal girl. Oh, so you not to try it. Yeah. Guys, I have like a really bad stomach. I don't think that it's going to be fun for either of us. What if there's something stuck up there and he gets it out and then you I don't want that. That's exactly what I don't want. um yeah that Sounds like stuck up there and you're like pre-cured after that sounds like what I'm avoiding.
00:25:29
Speaker
But she, my mom said the example she gave me ah was what if like your husband says he was really turned on when you put a banana up your butt, but you already put a banana up your butt with someone else. Like, that's like, I already know you can't do that again. yeah So that was my mom's rule about, about one. She only does things once.
00:25:49
Speaker
yet No, she just wants to go through I'm sure that's the equivalent don't equivalent to that is like I don't want to date a guy that's had kids because I don't want to go through all of the I want to go through all the Landmarks of like me being pregnant him having kid all for the first time because that feels like special to me personally I think that's what she basically was like don't get freaky with everyone like you could have sex with people But don't like be a freak with everyone because you want to say some things That actually is really good advice It was sound advice. And she was again, like at this age, what was I, she was my age when she was
Awkward Conversations and Communication Styles
00:26:20
Speaker
telling me this now. And I tell her this, she's like, no, I didn't. I never said that. I'm like, you're 50 something now. Yeah. You really you were not really twenty five point like, Wait, what do you guys call like your vagina? But like to, if you're referencing it to like your partner, like what do you call it? Little V girl.
00:26:43
Speaker
Victoria? Because like in normal conversations sometimes I reference it not even like a sexual way just like whatever I got laser hair removal whatever but I feel like vaginas are like technical and then I also don't want to say the p-word I just like find that like so aggressive, but then I don't feel like there's an in between. So I ended up being like my, um, I say to vagina, but that's so my personality to make it like, like, yeah, I don't think vagina is my like, I'm definitely not. I'm definitely not like throwing out the word posty casually. If that's what you're asking. Yeah. But like, what's a good word to use? That's not vagina or the P I th I don't know. Badge. I don't know. I haven't found my right match.
00:27:30
Speaker
Anyways, I guess that's no help. If you guys have any good ideas for me, DM me, please, personally. Maybe we'll put that in stories for this episode. You don't like Victoria Justice? I kind of do. I do kind of like Victoria. But the thing is, he's not going to know what that is. Like your what? Well, maybe just show him a couple episodes and then. Oh, Victoria's. Yeah. And then just actually start calling it that.
00:27:58
Speaker
victoria it vjay vicky vicky little v girl yeah know I've been saying like down there cause I freak out. I, I literally will like be like, oh yeah, I, you know, I don't know until there's a hair removal, blah, blah, blah on my, and then I don't know what to say. And then I get stuck. And then it's like, he knows what I'm trying to say. Then I get weird. Yeah. Nothing really feels natural for me to say.
00:28:26
Speaker
Wait, back on the um mom advice, my mom's advice is always really like pointed. Like she'll be like, ah like back in the day when I had really bad skin, I didn't like wearing makeup over it because to me it just looked worse. And I was like, I kind of just want to like heal it and not clog it and blah, blah, blah. But she would be like,
00:28:47
Speaker
Yeah, I just find like when I wear makeup, like my skin's actually like better because it's like protecting it. She always is like really underhanded telling. Oh, yeah, my my mom, too. That's also how Southern mom also how she tries to get me to wear bras. She's always like, yeah, I mean, and um people say you should even be like sleeping in bras because like that'll affect like how how low they go, you know, and I'm like,
00:29:17
Speaker
It's not gonna work on me. Unsurprisingly, my mom is very direct. So like, I just... She's definitely like a mom. Well, I've given my head off when she's been direct in the past. They are terrified of me, I think. So this is her soft... See, I don't like direct. I don't want her to be like, just this, these back end way. Just say what you're saying. Like, say out of your mouth what you're saying. My mom's very much one to be like, well, if you don't eat, you don't gain weight.
00:29:46
Speaker
anyway Well, there's a very like specific thing. Like if I look, if I look, if I know that my mom thinks I'm fat, if she goes, have you been working out? That's like your fat. If I am bringing out, if I have literally one pimple, my mom will say, can I pay for you to get a facial? That's how she says that my skin looks bad. It's like she has certain things. If I look good for the first time and I haven't been looking good for a while, she goes,
00:30:08
Speaker
Oh my God, you have a little extra energy this morning. What prompted this? That's how I know you haven't been looking good, but you look good today. So it's like she has her little telltale signs. I love that. My dad is the same, but it's like, it's more like about my weight. It's funny. It's like the skinnier I am. He's like, you look great. And I'm like, thank you. Things haven't even two weeks. Yeah. I don't think my dad's ever commented on the way that I look ever.
00:30:38
Speaker
like fire ever that's good he's just never said anything about that my mom is so direct though and like if i had a pimple or something she's like it would get that off or like oh we need to fix that and i don't take this i've never been offended by people being direct yeah really ever in my life i appreciate it i like it i don't want the bullshit we don't need to be saying something while not saying it it just bothers me i think that's more rude because i'm like now do you think i'm stupid I have a pimple and you think i'm done you think i don't know what you're saying shut up just say yeah excuse me but i know why she's doing it because i was just so moody growing up that if she was gonna like serve some. Information like that it needed to be wrapped in yeah something nice something nice.
00:31:19
Speaker
I think I hate it because I just hate doing that. Like I hate having to use the brain power to like go around someone's feelings when I'm like, shouldn't you just like want constructive criticism? Like I love it. personally me Yeah, me too. So I just don't get it. ah But like I understand for and not ever yeah like ready. If it's as direct as possible, I'll never be offended. If it's kind of beating around the bush, then I feel awkward that you feel awkward and then I'm embarrassed. same say So it just like has to be very straightforward, straight to the point.
00:31:51
Speaker
Yeah. pretty And hopefully it's like helpful to me that you're doing that, which I appreciate. Like I appreciate like an audit. Like I'm always trying to get Joe to audit me and he literally won't because he hates being audited. It's like, no, this will help me. I'm like, I need you to, I need you to help me. I need like specific guidelines. yeah The other day I was in the car. Now I'm sorry, go on.
00:32:10
Speaker
What did you just say that I can hear you? Well, no, now I'm more into the constructive criticism because I just have like a better idea of life. I was just not looking to be well-rounded when I was young. Like I remember my mom would call me a bitch and I would be like, well, I'm going to be super successful in business because this is what it takes. Like I remember like, Oh my God, Kristin, please.
00:32:38
Speaker
I mean, third person do you know, like, that grew up in 1990, that started going to like, fucking therapy when they were 13. Like, I had feelings. Oh, all my friends in LA went to therapy in the school. Oh, really? They ran a passage, yeah. Yeah, but you were like, older than me. Like, I think it was still like, I was the first person to teach all of my friends about mental health and depression. Really?
00:33:07
Speaker
the board. Yeah. ah So yeah. So it's like I was in Oklahoma plus I'm older than you. So it was like, I don't, I just don't, I didn't know that many people doing that anyway. Okay.
Free Will and Happiness
00:33:18
Speaker
What else do we want to cover? Um, okay. So I have been doing a lot of like practicing my free will. Um, like I just sometimes wake up and I'm like, wait, I can do whatever I want.
00:33:35
Speaker
Like I used to have a lot of rules for myself, like no TV during the day or like I'd make my bed so I wouldn't get back in bed and like, you know, no cigarettes. So discipline, discipline all out the door, baby. I have just been loving practicing free will 8am cigarette McDonald's breakfast.
00:34:01
Speaker
Um, I'm talking like anything that just reminds me like, Hey, like you're alive. Life might be hard, but you're fucking alive. And like, it's only as hard as you make a baby. So this is your dopamine menu. 8AM cigarette. It's like, yeah, I guess so. Like, I guess that's giving you dopamine. Yeah.
00:34:23
Speaker
And like all, I mean, I've still been going to like yoga and sauna-ing and everything, but it's like, I'm smoking my sigs on the way to yoga with like my weights on and like my matcha.
00:34:34
Speaker
reality It's called duality. So I just want to know like what, like how you, oh, also the other thing I've been doing that just makes me feel fucking alive is just like staying in bed and like starting a show or a movie like in the morning. Like if I'm not on such that day,
00:34:55
Speaker
just because I've been like staying up late and like you know I can create my own schedule. So sometimes I like but watch a show in the morning and it's fucking crazy. I've never done it in my life until like this year. That's one of my favorite things to do as well is watch a show. like 6 a.m. when it's dark outside? Yes. ah um Anyway, it's like, find happiness wherever you go. um' What do you girls do to practice your free will and happiness?
00:35:25
Speaker
I feel like I never do it guiltlessly. That's the thing I need to do. Like, if I want to do something to practice my free will, I need to teach myself to do so guiltlessly. Like, even if I'm, for example, what I do in the morning when I don't want to wake up and get out of bed is I stay horizontal in bed and cozy, but I work for my phone, which is like a lot of my work is done for my phone. It's actually not a cop out. and I'm I could sit on the couch and do it or in here and do it or I could lay down, but it feel but I still like feel I feel guilty yeah because I haven't gotten up yet.
00:35:56
Speaker
So it's hard for me to practice this for you. No, it's like, it's not, it's not like I don't feel guilt when I'm smoking a cig at seven in the morning and like with like a black coffee. But I think it's just like, you know, you have to do those little things to remember that you make the rules. But that's, that's a good one. I also feel like you like get off on ordering Uber blacks.
00:36:24
Speaker
Yeah. I'm just scared. I'm usually just more scared for my safety. That's why I do that. True. Iman. Um, I feel like I've been kind of doing like the same thing, but a little bit of the opposite where like I've been trying to give myself more structure. Like I feel like there's been a lot of things that I can, the same things that I complained about every single day. And like, I feel like because I talk on the phone so often or just like,
00:36:54
Speaker
to my boyfriend or whatever, I find myself complaining about the same things over and over. And I feel like I've been taking a very passive role in like my suffering where like I just live through it and then complain about it. So I feel like as of the last week, I've been trying to take a really active role in it. So like so for example, like I don't know. I always feel weird talking about job stuff on here because it's like documented.
00:37:20
Speaker
um But I've just been feeling like in a creative rut with work and so every day I feel like I'm not like operating at my best and then I go home and I just feel like a loser every day because I'm just like, I don't feel like I did my best or worked as hard as I could and I'm also so exhausted by like feeling so bad about myself so that it makes me even more exhausted and I can't get anything else done.
00:37:43
Speaker
and so usually when i get home from work i'm so like tired from just being like unhappy that day that then i don't do anything with my friends i won't like go out after work when usually my schedule is fucking jam packed and like i need that so my mind isn't so idle and it helps me like make more time for things so i've been saying yes to a bunch of stuff i think my days look like how they used to where like I, you know, go to work and then have a lunch with a friend. And then I've been going to the Mayborn to edit more and like getting out of the house and like less just like coming home and asking like Darren to come over. Like I've actually been like, Hey, I get hang out tonight a lot. Why did that for two sleeps last week? yeah
00:38:28
Speaker
And she didn't lie about being busy. I used to lie about being busy so that he wouldn't think I was available all the time. but um create a little bit of like distance and not be so like available. And she's like, but I am not doing anything else. Yeah. And he then he caught me in a lie and I was like, okay, fine. I've been lying. I don't have anything to do, but ah I also like get out of bed earlier when he's not here and things like that. Obviously I love like having sleepovers and stuff, but I think like too often it's just kind of a distraction because we don't live together and don't have like, I can't get into my routine.
00:39:05
Speaker
yeah there's no no So I've been being more on a schedule, saying yes to more things. I went on that Girl Brea's podcast lie last week, which was like, usually I might be a little too scared to do something like that because I like don't like to do a personality reveal with someone that I don't know, but she was so great and that was really fun.
00:39:23
Speaker
good yeahre a lot I feel like you just explained you were kind of depressed. That's what I like depression is like an idle feeling versus like sadness. Yeah. And I feel like you just explained how you're getting yourself out of a depression yeah without realizing it.
Life Seasons and Personal Growth
00:39:38
Speaker
like adding giving structure to your life is a way you pull yourself out of depression. It's really hard to manage um consistency, but like also excitement. Cause it's like we see consistency in like a job with good pay, good consecutive pay, but it also really plateaus you like you, I feel like in a lot of ways because you can't just get up and you know, you don't really have as much free will. Um,
00:40:07
Speaker
And yeah, so it just like affects a ah bunch of other things. But then sometimes if you get your mind right, you can use it in your advantage, which, yeah you know, I think there's just seasons. Like right now I'm in a very consistent season and I try not to look at it like I'm bored because I, it is boring, but I have so many less problems than I had when I was excited. Yeah. So such an important lesson that no one teaches you about because my mind no matter what, even if I know it's just a season and it's just a moment and it's just a phase, my mind loves to permanent permanentate things, is that a word? Like I think everything's permanent. um And then it makes me like spiral more and things feel bigger and whatever. So normalize like seasons. Yeah. Well, thats that's what is exciting to be like.
00:41:00
Speaker
nimble like you just have like this experience and then like life will give you something probably shitty and then it's consistent like when after you've been through like shitty I feel like it's just consistency and like regular boring stuff is actually like nice right yeah it's like a moment to rest yeah that you have to like be without it also to know how important it is like I feel like it was like when you I quit my consistent um job and went freelance and started working for myself. Then I was like, oh wait, I was taking advantage of a lot of things. That was like yeah really nice.
00:41:37
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I also feel like because I was in a rut, I was like trying to look for anything exciting. So I was like coming home, having a couple glasses of wine, but then I'm like, Oh my God, now I've actually really done nothing now and even more of a looser. So I've been trying to limit my like special treats so that when I do do it, it feels better. And I've been golfing a lot more and I've been taking off work to golf. And I tell my boss that like, Hey, I just need to take off work to golf a couple times this month. And he's like totally been chill with it and like happy for me and like asking me to send him photos.
00:42:05
Speaker
Oh, well, that's good. I also think what's it's interesting is I feel kind of bored. I was thinking about this today because I look around now because I don't live in an L.A. or like a New York anymore. I live like where normal ass people live. Like I'm not constantly surrounded by people who are like doing the fucking most. Yeah. And like normal people just live day to day and they have like good things, bad things. and But everything like feels even like in Milwaukee, everyone is just like Normal, you know what I mean? Like there is nothing crazy exciting and there's nothing like from my perspective after being somewhere so exciting and like the most or having friends like for example This happens to my friendships where I have friends with like the biggest personalities and that I meet like normal people. I'm like I'm so bored. Like can y'all do something fucking ridiculous? Like I need something ridiculous to slip out of someone's mouth Yeah, like I just have such a
00:42:58
Speaker
Like my standard, quote unquote, is just like up here because that's what I was used to. But I'm bringing it down to be like matching normal. Yeah. No, we're used to Kristin going up to a guy unprovoked in the bar and saying, well, you eat my ass. yeah Well, yeah. But my friends from college were like that, too. Like I have a friend from college who's crazier moving than Kristin. Because I would not be good at just like. Feeling out everyone's personalities.
00:43:23
Speaker
It's very interesting. I haven't even thought about how hard that is. But yeah, it also took me moving away from Oklahoma to understand why people would live there. Because Tulsa is so clean. It's not the safest. It still has all of that. But it's just very cute and small and affordable. And I'm like, oh, I absolutely understand why people would raise kids here, just how much freedom We got in. Well, you they like that's another thing with like raising kids. You realize your parents like have to move somewhere normal. And when I say normal, I think I when I say sometimes when I.
00:44:04
Speaker
talk about people being normal. It's seen as like a bad thing. I think normal is good. Like normal is just like, that's what everyone should be. But I think living in like a Los Angeles, you're exposed to like, you're exposed to like, like the the highest of the high kind of all the time. You know what I mean? yeah So that's why I like moving to like a Milwaukee when people are just normal and again, not in a bad way. They're just normal. You're not walking around seeing like fucking Bella Hadid or like literally publicity stunts or like,
00:44:34
Speaker
I don't know, just very extreme versions of things. My whole thing is like, I just love to be able to pull up to a big fucking parking lot and like have a parking spot. And it doesn't take going to Tulsa for that, but it does take- They pay paradise to put up a parking lot.
00:44:52
Speaker
but Well, you just start realizing that when you want to have kids, you literally want to put them in a safe place. Yeah, exactly. That's why LA would be obviously kind of difficult for
Impact of Teachers and Education
00:45:03
Speaker
those children. But back to that song, Eames, you just unlocked a memory that my social studies teacher, he was a Democrat.
00:45:12
Speaker
And so he was like my first real taste of you know democracy as a young child. But I remember he he played this song when it came out for our class, like in a really fucking dramatic way. like My social studies teacher did that to me too. No, what?
00:45:30
Speaker
I was like, is she about to say, I literally, when you unlocked that memory, I unlocked, my social center teachers played that like, why has't that laugh brought into the what fucking forum were these fuckers in? What does that mean? We need to look, I don't know. Wait, that's a very sensitive woman. She was like, mask. And she was it's like, select back ponytail every day, but so sensitive and like, would cry if someone was like, not behaving well because she was like, I should really care about your future. And she played that song for our class. Wait, that's so fucking weird. Mainly just because Reddit didn't exist back then. And like, it wouldn't be weird today because I would be like, oh, they just like read this on like the cut and yeah telling them like woke songs to play. um But I am weirded out.
00:46:21
Speaker
Same. Cause y'all were in two different, like completely different timelines. Seven years apart. How many years apart? I feel like that's a fact that people don't know. We're six grades apart. People don't know that Kristen and Iman are six grades apart. yeah That's probably another, yeah.
00:46:42
Speaker
Fun fact. Fun fact, we wouldn't have even been in the middle of the same middle school. No, I was in high school but in getting into middle school and you had been graduating high school. Did you call me a cougar? If you tried to hook up with me, maybe. Oh, that's not what I was saying. But like, if you want to take it there, I thought you already said you didn't want to hook up with me. You're giving me? I don't. I literally don't. yeah I don't want to. Relax, relax. Hey, pull it back.
00:47:14
Speaker
Really? I'm like right in the middle of you guys. Good because I don't want to seriously they clear. Not physically. Physically, I'm really far from both
Future Plans and Scheduling
00:47:27
Speaker
of you. Why would you say I'm right in the middle of you guys when we're just like, yeah.
00:47:33
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. That got a little weird. Yeah, does anyone ah feel uncomfortable? I want to take my jacket off. It's hot in here.
00:47:51
Speaker
Well, on that note. I was going to end it, but I feel like. Yeah, we should just go.
00:47:59
Speaker
um Just get off of here. So you're all going to hang out later or what? She's going to ask maybe we should. Oh, yeah. We're going to Chateau, Vermont. You want to come? Who? Who? Me, Blake, and Meghan. Honestly, yeah, maybe. She was like, oh, no. Well, when you just said Blake, because I don't know her, you know I don't like hang out with people I don't know. But then you said Meghan. And I was like, OK, that could maybe be offset not knowing one person. I was doing the math in my head. Right, right, right.
00:48:26
Speaker
um Yeah, it's like a delayed celebration of my birthday. Oh, maybe I'll go. Something that I think everyone should know about before we go off is like, I can't interact with someone that I don't know. I don't know how. like i I'm weird. like um Like I have taken you to a lot of places that I feel like you probably didn't really want to go, but you went out on a limb and you like some of them. Yeah. So if you ever meet me and I'm weird, that's just me. That's just her being her. team
00:49:02
Speaker
All right. Now we can go. Cause as we talked about one other thing after the other thing, that but what are you doing with your weekend pee? Just have home things. Now I'm flying to LA tomorrow and then I have multi recordings for a couple of days and then I fly right back here. And I don't think I'm going to get to see you cause I'm on the most fucking intense styling job but ever. And I wish I was. Do you want me to edit this episode?
00:49:32
Speaker
Um, no, I actually can. Cause we get an, uh, we get our lunches and I get to go in my car and disassociate. So that's what I do. Oh, Peyton, you have to, we have to schedule time for you to meet when you're here though. Maybe Monday.
00:49:47
Speaker
Well, I have three recordings on Monday including yours but like at night and then I have a meeting right after you Well, I look at drinks meeting. It's gonna be 6 15 though to probably like Like 8 15 because the girl I were doing this with can we get off the yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Bye guys I love ya