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emon's deepest darket secret
2.7k Plays4 months ago
episode 5: the girls play their version of 'f***, marry, kill' and update you on all the drama.
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Transcript
Eames' Important Announcement
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey, Chris. Hi, Eames. What's up? I have to tell you something. Oh my god. Okay. Should I three-way Peyton in? Yeah, call me. Okay. Hello. Hey, Eames needs to tell us something. I'm three-waying you in. Okay, immediately. Okay, so... Well, let's just address the elephant in the room first. Iman and Kristin got in a huge fight today. Huge fucking fight. And Kristin got into a bubble. I got into a bubble. Okay, stop because you're gonna make it seem like I'm just like... You're a stickler. They got in a physical altercation. I've never seen anything like it. It was yeah crazy see to the death. Yeah. So if you guys like feel weird tension, like that's what it is. Iman and I are not speaking, but they'll speak
Resolving Group Tension
00:00:41
Speaker
on the podcast. for me They even look at each other. We're going to speak through Peyton.
00:00:47
Speaker
Can you please tell her? Yeah. Peyton, can you tell Kristen that she's too close to the mic? She is actually too close to the mic. Oh. OK, so now that we have spoken about the elephant in the room. I'm glad we got that off our chests. I'm glad we got that off our chests. Now you guys know like what the energy is like right now. There's still blood on the floor. Peyton, you missed a spot cleaning up. um Anyway. I'll get it next time. We're going to play this little game called Fuck Mary Kill. And this is just really our way of you know telling you what we fuck with, what we want to marry, what we want to kill. OK, we're never letting you do the intro again. Because it's 10 minutes long. We've got a lot of backstory on the Fuck Mary Kill. Oh, well, this is our first Fuck Mary Kill, even though we already did one and we had to scrap it because of
Balancing Audio Quality and Content Fun
00:01:38
Speaker
sound issues. Should we talk about the other elephant in the room?
00:01:40
Speaker
oh Okay guys so we understand that we have been having some audio issues for the last couple episodes. The thing is we don't know how to do this. If you saw our group chat leading up to even post It's really like Peyton being like, all right, I'm posting. And then Kristen being like, OK, I'm posting. Hold on. And then it's like, wait, did you guys both just post? And they're both actually up right now. And then they're like, OK, I took it down. OK, I took it down. And then now they're both off. And now we have to just re-upload one. And then a secret third one has also gone up that no one knows how that one got up. And then the people who edit our podcast have also uploaded it. So it's like, OK. up somehow the third time. And so if you knew how much we've actually done for how much we know, you would be congratulating us instead of telling us that our audio was bad. So I just wanna throw that out there, but we know that it's been bad. It's gonna be better starting from this episode if Kristen doesn't keep talking so close to the mic. And we are really trying our best here. Okay, so this is kind of another little disagreement we've been having because Peyton and Iman are the audio police parents.
00:02:56
Speaker
And I just want, I'm just like, if we capture a good joke and a good giggle, who gives a fuck if it's a little staticky and Peyton sounds like she's underwater? Who sounded underwater? Like don't you guys just want to giggle? Okay, so this is, here's a would you rather for ya. Kristen, I literally had to pause it because it was hurting. No, it hurts my head. I can't listen to it. Oh, I can't relate. Like I didn't hear that. Were you listening in your headphones? Probably. When did you listen to it? I don't know like what all I'm saying you guys all I am saying guys this is this is a what would you rather and then we can wrap up on this topic would you rather have silly goofy funny giggly content that might be a little scrappy because we're bootstrapping here or
00:03:46
Speaker
Do you want crystal clear audio?
Kristen's Podcast and Personal Highlights
00:03:53
Speaker
it That one. I don't even care what it is. There's like an option where you just can't have it. So if it did not happen, do you get my back when it doesn't make sense? I know, but there's just so many funny things that we have to cut out that you guys have no idea. There are so many things that I have just giggled my ass off and then Iman and Peyton are like, shit And I'm like, I don't give a fuck. All I want to do is giggle. Well, Kristen, then you put take it out and put it on your social media. No,
00:04:29
Speaker
you I'm going to make you a reels of all the funniest moments with the original audio. And you're going to post it on your personal and it's your Instagram account. Great. No, I'm going to start my own podcast. but and i would and it's just gonna be all of the cut. It's gonna be all the scraps that you guys wanted to cut and it's gonna fucking blow up. Kinda like the TikTok today. By the way, you guys, you can't see this but we all have tears in our eyes for crying laughing about this. You just need to just be the talent, okay? Okay, but I still wanna help. Don't, please don't.
00:05:08
Speaker
and va are the also the worst for this because we are not good at like We're not nice people like that you don't butter it up at all. No they're there no time we have to just We just have to tell you like it is because this is business thank god, I'm thick i' so end you you I'm No second I give her any criticism she'll thumbs up it I You know, I don't like thumbs up. She's like, Oh my God, I had no clue. It's like, yeah, you did. Yeah, you did. Yeah. It's just like, oops, passive aggressive. Oh my God. I literally had no clue. Sometimes I do forget. I'm going to be honest. Cause like, it's just like, that's my version of being like, okay, approved. Like I don't have to fucking heart every, every single fucking, I mean, clearly I do though. No, but you could just say like, K K the thumbs up is like, I'm pissed and I'm staying silent.
00:06:04
Speaker
Yeah. Okay, let's go to fucking Mary. Were you silent or were you silent? Both.
00:06:13
Speaker
No, I am. I'm the one that's being fucking silent right here. yeah yeah i yeah mike and My
00:06:25
Speaker
Silence is fine. So now I'm not even the talent? No, you are, you are, you are. And you're so gorgeous. And you're like, so funny, so pretty. Yeah, I'm going to get some compliments. And she gets the most men. For a reason, gets the most men of all of us. You get the most hinge likes. You have the best style. Even last night, I feel like guys were just coming up to her
Influence Tactics Among Friends
00:06:45
Speaker
being like. Yeah, any time I round you, guys are surrounding me. Any time I'm literally by myself, it's just me and my thoughts. Yep, just me. um You always have your nails painted I don't know when you're ever getting your nails done But your nails always look good and you've never once like said you're on your way to get your nails done They're just like magically. look That's true um And you're funny and you have a good personality and like sometimes
00:07:08
Speaker
And my mom said you have a cute body. Remember that? right that i do My mom says that about body zero people. yeah She thinks that. Pretty critical. Pretty critical lady. oh <unk> Yeah. That's that. Those are your great qualities to offset some of the things that we've already said. And I think we can move forward from here as a group. I agree. What are we fucking with this week? My friends. So fuck Mary Kill. Um, I didn't write anything down yet. So one of you guys have to go first that I can get ready. I'm fucking with bribing my friends, bribing your friends. Yeah. Like, you know how, like I'll be like, if y'all want to be fun, entertainment at Thunderbird, I'll buy the drinks and y'all do the dares. Yeah. I actually really like the bribes. Um, I love bribing them. I love the bribes. Love.
00:07:54
Speaker
Do you like being bribed or bribing more? Well, Iman literally bribed me to go on a date the other night because she said, so I love the Henry. I'm sorry. I know it's a chain restaurant. like You know, Iman is not into it. Whatever. So. She was like, if you get out of bed and go on this date, because this guy asked me out and I was like, I really don't want to. And she was like, if you do it, I'll go to um the Henry with you three times the next three times you want to go. And she said, if you don't, I won't go with you till 2025. And I'm not joking. And when I say my ass got out of bed,
00:08:31
Speaker
And I went on that date. I ain't lying. And I'm, I ain't lying that that was probably the only thing that could have gotten me out of bed. Truly. Yvonne knew what to say. So yeah, I was bribed and it worked and I'm really excited. And now you went on a date and you're going to the Henry. Yeah. Yeah. And I went on no dates and I have to go to and now you have to go to the Henry and my problem with the Henry. Okay. So it reminds me of Dallas. Cause I used to go to the Henry and Dallas at the time. And then we would have been in Scottsdale. So like. It's just straightforward, you don't have to have a reservation, it's big, there's indoor, there's outdoor, it's like, it's easy, they have crisp the best crispy rice in the game, TBQH, like. I guess I don't have a problem with it, like the food's decent, the drinks are decent, I have an issue with just like, I'm so all or nothing in every area that like, I either need to be like at a dive bar eating hot wings and hot dogs, or I wanna be at somewhere really, really nice, but somewhere in the middle just seems not productive. And random.
00:09:27
Speaker
So, well, so I literally, um, I guess I am not, I don't really bribe. I kind of like guilt trip because I guilt trips. I think was like a weekend. Do I know the story yet? No, it was just like a week and a half ago. I was like, Kristen, I'm going to get off work early. Should we go work somewhere? And she's like, yeah, let's go to the Henry. And I was like, oh, god, no. Was there anywhere else we can go? And then I was like, look, my pet peeve is when someone says, can we go somewhere else? And then they don't have another place to go. yeah So I was like, look, I can't really think of anywhere else that I really want to go. I guess we can go to the Henry. And then I called her back after, and I was like, look,
00:10:08
Speaker
Actually, let's just hang out a different day. Like I really don't want to go and she goes oh like I'm not kind in a bad place mentally. I need this sad. And so I hung up and then I start spy I was like, you know, we're like mean to your sister and it was like, okay, whatever in the moment and then you leave and you're like, oh shit. they're like i so yeah So then I'm like spiraling over it. I like sent her voice in mail. I was like, look, I I just don't really, I like said it like a minute long voice note. And I called her and she's like, hey. And I was like, Kristen, we can go to the Henry. And the way that she lit up, she was like, oh my God. She's like, oh my God, yes. Okay, so like, I literally thought I wasn't gonna have any plans tonight. She gets so excited. And it was so annoying because it was just like, why are you so happy right now? like it's It's a weird amount of happy. I'm sorry, I am like, not one of those people that are like,
00:11:04
Speaker
loves when plans are canceled. Like, especially right now, like, I'm vulnerable. So like, I think I have. You've been pulling this vulnerability card for a really long time. Well, I'm going to keep pulling it, so get ready. You know how I am, like, in a really bad place right now. Yeah, like, there's always fucking something happening with me, so I'm therefore always vulnerable. I'm saying this
Kristen's Lifestyle Changes
00:11:26
Speaker
with tears in her eyes. This is like the second time. This is fun.
00:11:33
Speaker
But yeah. Okay, so what are y'all fucking with? Oh, right, so I do mind, you guys have to do it. Oh, I'm fucking the person in the group with a vape. That's so good. Because mama gave up weed for a few weeks to try to clear her brain, clear her little mentally ill brain and see if that was affecting anything. I don't think it was. Maybe whatever. um But I just took up vaping and cigarettes. And um I just ran out of my vape. And so now I am trying not to buy one, but if anyone has one around me. Have you been talking for 36 minutes?
00:12:12
Speaker
right For some reason I like just blacked out for a second, then I blacked back in, you were still talking. Oh my god, I've been talking for like five seconds, haven't I? I'm just really hungover, guys, so I'm not doing well. Well, I lost my train of thought. ah You're fucking the guy in the group with the vape. It doesn't have to be a guy. I'm just fucking the person. Oh, the person. She's equal opportunity. She's rare. Biased. Biased.
00:12:40
Speaker
What am I looking with, dude? oh But yeah, there's just nothing like it. When you see someone pull that vape out, you rip it, and you don't have one in your bag, and you just say, you know, you're gonna be my you're gonna be my best friend. We're gonna get married. We're gonna fuck.
00:12:56
Speaker
Next. I'm fucking with. um So JT is one half of the city girls. And if no one knows, I'm a city girls like Stan. And JT has a song called OK. And then Jeezy just got on it and did a remix and had a verse. And I keep replaying Jeezy. Oh, Oh,
Game Segment: Appreciations and Critiques
00:13:19
Speaker
OK. Well, I'm sorry. I do like it. That's an ah important question since you are Jeezy. Jeezy reminds you of. G-E-Z? No. Did do you just you know say his name to bring up G-E-Z? Forget it. Can I say anything? Hey, mama like written would just work G-E-Z into every conversation. It's not it's not even G-E-Z. It's G-E-Z with a J.
00:13:46
Speaker
But you can you can understand why we would be confused, right?
00:13:55
Speaker
it's literally not he funny so funny um it has a picture with jesus pains fucking noses running bit your nose not even not funny yeah so
00:14:11
Speaker
Did you think he was hot when you were a fan? When you were a huge fan? Yeah, when you bled his... Okay, well, I guess... Do you want to hook up with him? I guess I'll just explain. It's literally not funny. It's not funny. I'm so funny. I'm so funny. I'm so funny. I'm so funny. I'm so funny. I'm so funny. I'm so funny. I'm so funny. I used to...
00:14:28
Speaker
It's really hard to fit. This is so vulnerable. I used to be a GED groupie. So I went to his very first LA concert and I've seen a concert nine times in the span of like three years and there were certain girls that we would all... That wasn't that bad.
00:14:48
Speaker
There were certain girls that we would know each other because we all went to the same concerts. One of them is the one that we ran into in Stagecoach. And we played a photo from like 2013. Would she use you in the middle? No, just us. And yeah, I would like leave school, go to TV concerts. I knew every single word of every single song. Like he like knew me when I went up to him. And the worst part is that for my 18th birthday, Are you gonna live? Okay, well, mute Kristen's mic right now, because she's vaping too hard. No, I literally literally choked because I was laughing so hard. I hadn't even hit my face. Okay, well, wait till you hear this story. On my 18th birthday, my mom got me and, like, eight of my friend's VIP tickets to his show. like And I had a meet and greet that my mom walked me into, and he... When my mom...
00:15:41
Speaker
When I walked in with my mom, she was seeing girls get photos with him and ask him to sign their boobs. And he and she was like, come on, do not have him sign your boobs. And I was like, he's going to sign them. And so I go up there with my mom. Imagine how uncomfortable he felt. Because I look, I'm 18, but I look 14. And I was like, hey, could you sign? So bad. You have a photo of the boob signed? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. That my mom took of us. We're going to put that on the Instagram. My God. We're going to do a little content warning before, but.
00:16:24
Speaker
yes So bad, it's so embarrassing. And my mom had to watch it and take the photo and I thought I was so cool and then I went back out with all my friends and I just like played at my chest. I was like, look. And then we went into the concert and proceeded to rock out, so. and racked up with your boobs out. And you guys, like as you're listening to this, please like don't do any DMs, don't do any comments. This is actually. Early hard. I didn't tell Peyton until like year 10 of our friendship. It's not something that I talk about publicly. I don't want to see any comments under our photos. like It's OK, Yvonne. I used to look easy. like I don't want people going to go see that. Don't tell anyone, guys. Let's have a little code name. You could call it um Sebastian. You could say Jeezy with a J j-E-E-Z. That is the worst. That would be so confusing because... Yeah. Okay, fine. It's the same name. Fine, you can say um you also like hot dogs. Mm-hmm, like your hot dogs. And that's it. Okay. Okay, so you're fucking Jeezy. Got it? Yeah. Basically. Next. Next. Oh, I'm a Mary now. I am marrying... Well, let me look at my list. Hold on. I didn't rem... I can't even memorize anything anymore because my brain's off.
00:17:46
Speaker
I'm marrying having a extremely, an extremely random favorite bar a la Thunderbird. It's one of those places where I tell people that I love Thunderbird, they're like, why? You know what I mean? Cause it's kind of random and like any given sports bar, but we're obsessed with it. OK, you know what I'm hearing, which is, OK, this is a little weird, but the guys at the bar who are like in a friends group, like a big group of guys, but they have girlfriends. So they're like kind of standoffish towards me and girls in the group because they have a girlfriend, like they don't really speak or say anything. I'm hearing those guys because like.
00:18:29
Speaker
I respect that. like I don't want to hear from you. I love that you're doing your own thing. I love that you're just with the boys. And I respect that. And I want to marry the guys with girlfriends that are respectful towards them. So I know. Yeah, so that's why I understand what that sounds like but I know you girls are gonna know what I mean. Yeah, I know what you mean. I know. I personally want Jo to like punch someone in the face if they talk. Yeah, I'm hearing them metaphorically. I want you to be talking about me. I want you, I want them to be like, oh my god, this is my girlfriend's Instagram. You would love her. Her friends and her have a podcast. They're fucking hilarious.
00:19:10
Speaker
Like yeah exactly like that. I want to marry my um serotonin playlist. That's a good one. So I have this like I do this like really clever thing. where I have a playlist of all my favorite songs that give me serotonin and it's called serotonin. And yeah, just I've been working on it for years. Anytime a song comes on and I find myself feeling a little more alive and, um,
00:19:44
Speaker
willing to live. A little more alive and willing to live. A little more upbeat. Right. Yeah. I just added. She's in a segura. Well, she was playing it at max volume today. Picked me up. I'm so hungover. I'm like falling into the car. And she is playing it at full max volume, singing. So I would say you had some serotonin today. It definitely worked. Yeah. I'm burping. and never bur well wrong i going I don't know what to tell you. Last night, you didn't really seem to care about recording today. um I was like, Peyton, I have to go home. You know, I want to feel my best tomorrow. And you were like, if you go home, kill you I will Talk about a guilt last night.
00:20:30
Speaker
Peyton said I'm never in town. I'm never in town. I'm never in town. Yeah and you know I have to be desperate to be guilting because I am not a guilter. I'm a briber. I'm afraid to say this but guilting me does work. I will feel sick like I will actually throw up. Well, it's just like, guilting honestly is just a way to be like, listen here, this matters to me. Yeah, this matters to me. Listen here, I know I'm chill sometimes, but this particular thing matters.
00:21:06
Speaker
You know what I'm actually going to kill is guilting. My mom does this thing where shell be like she won't start off just asking me a question normal. She won't be like, hey, Mom, like do you want to come to this like family thing with me? it It could be fun. I'd love to see you. No, it's... I know you're probably super busy, but yeah I mean, obviously we haven't seen each other in a while. Obviously you don't care, but would love to see you. You you probably are hang out with your friends or something, because you always are, but it'd be really cool if I could hopefully see you this weekend when I go do this thing.
Dealing with Online Negativity
00:21:41
Speaker
And it's just like, well, now the answer is 100% no, because that was so annoying. And i'm why are you already guilting? Guilting's not working me, typically. Do your normal voice. And she does this voice. it's like
00:21:54
Speaker
like it' like very like thrilling like yes And it's like could you just and it's like No. I can't. But if you would just ask me, if you would just ask me without that, well, if you would just bribe me, mom, you would just bribe me. If you'd say, Hey, mom, can you come here? I'll give you a hundred dollars. Of course. I'll have an espresso martini waiting for you. I'm like, like so let's get the vibes up. That's the thing. Right. and I'm guilting. Let's get the vibes out. It's not like we're bribing. Make it sound a little prettier. Yeah. Don't make it a little prettier. i Come do this thing with me. It's like, look,
00:22:25
Speaker
um it's I'm gonna have a drink for you. I'm gonna have $100 for you. A charcuterie board. are If it's a friend, like, hey, I'll kiss you on the lips.
00:22:37
Speaker
That's a great rhyme. I'll kiss you on the lips. I'll have a drink waiting for you. And, you know, stuff like that. I'm going to start bribing people with things that no one wants. um Like what? I'll let you walk my dog. Yeah. I actually do that to Joe all the time. I'm like, I'll let you buy me a beer if you want. I'll let you. OK. I'll go do that. I mean, I was going to do it anyways, but OK. But you should it keeps them in check. it so It is such an honor to buy that he gets to buy you drinks. No, it's like really an honor. and like Imagine if some other guy was buying me drinks. That's something else I use. Imagine if i like another guy was buying me an espresso. You'd be so jealous. So now you have to buy me an espresso.
00:23:23
Speaker
I'm killing Leanne from Instagram who told me that she hopes my boyfriend cheats on me and leaves me as a single mother. Yeah, that was, you know what really bugs me is like, I just never left a hateful comment on something before. So like, I don't know what space you have to be in to do something like that. Well, she said, I hope your boyfriend basically your boyfriend cheats on you again, which for the record, Joe didn't cheat on me because I'm pretty sure after because after we broke up I got a ton of like incoming videos and photos from people being like I saw Joe here he is like videos of him like iip I remember that and I'm like listen if Joe had cheated on me while we were together this is something I'm very confident in obviously it's not foolproof so like it's it could have happened but
00:24:08
Speaker
I would have like 99% sure gotten the hey girly text from someone. You know what I mean? Someone would have known, someone would have seen something, I would have eventually have gotten back to me. So that didn't happen. I also just think maybe people thought that because he's a baseball player and like, you know, athletes cheat and stuff. Well, I just want to know, like, when you're in your room and you're about to comment something and you like look around, it's like, what's the scenery like? Are you having good, loving friendships in your life? Are you having good, loving relationships? It's like, why do you want to go ruin someone's day for absolutely no reason? Like, what is the point of saying that I hope your boyfriend cheats on you?
00:24:45
Speaker
i I envision Leanne and like all the Leans out there to like I picture them as like Sid and Toy Story. Yeah. Just a bad kid eating Mountain Dew. I mean, drinking Mountain Dew. Eating gummy worms. And like, yeah, they absolutely eat Cheetos, like a lot. And I'm going to say it, they're probably ugly. There's no way they're not ugly. Yeah, I mean, there's no way. So, Leanne, I know that's kind of bullying, but also you're bullying too, and I think you're bullying. No, I'm going to fuck Leanne up if I see Leanne. I will bully you physically.
00:25:20
Speaker
And there was no photo on the profile, so you're 1,000% ugly. Lian could be a guy, too. Well, he's ugly, too. You never know. Anyway, so I'm killing Lian. I never unlike Lian. Well, OK, I want to clear one thing up. I have left one hate comment in my entire life. And it was from this guy from Love Island. It was on Halsey's account whenever she was dating Jeezy. That's why you'll hate Halsey so much. sorry the record show i didn't crack a smile It was this guy on Love Island who was being a cheater and a liar and from my real like personal account I commented snake emojis under two of his photos.
00:26:01
Speaker
He was being a liar and a cheater and disgusting, and he deserved it, and guess what? I said it with my chest. I didn't say it. Well, also, people, I feel like you're always supposed to, quote unquote, be the bigger person and like be, take the high road. I want to go on record also, because I have come on out as a slut on this podcast, so it's important for me to come out as also a bitch. Right. I will be the meanest person you have ever met. I'm not going to be the bigger person. I'm gonna I'm gonna go for the throat like I'm gonna say something that I've been thinking about that's true that will the worst one ruining your life And
Conflict and Communication Strategies
00:26:37
Speaker
it's one of those things I want to say my the way I normally go about it as I say it a little bit Low-toned which is easy for me because of my voice and it's gonna be like offhand and it's just gonna be like a comment that you're gonna think back to and be like
00:26:49
Speaker
wait a And then like 30 years later, you're gonna be like No, I want this to be like a thing in therapy that you're like, oh it all actually traces back to like oh this one girl said this one thing yeah she just clocked the fuck I Am NOT yeah, I'm gonna be nice. I don't want to be nice. I never want to take the high road I feel like I pretended like I was gonna take the high road for some things but no I am so mean and know that's why i'm Like shock like I never expected to be friends again Cause you are so just cut throat like that. um Yeah. just couldn't say i I feel like having brothers teaches you how to be like so fucking mean because my sisters are worse. I feel like, well, true. I think just like siblings in general, because I spent like, I just remember like them, like you're sounding a little far from them trying to beat me up. I just remember my brothers trying to like beat me up and
00:27:41
Speaker
Physically, I wasn't stronger than them, so I would be like, okay, well, since I can't beat you up, I'm gonna tear you down emotionally. And take you apart. And so I tend to do that in fights with, especially boyfriends and stuff. I'm not as horrible with friends. I mean, you and I were pretty cutthroat, but. I do this to my enemies, though. I've never really said anything like this to my friends, because I genuinely think my friends are great, even all their flaws. but like when someone pisses me off, I've also just like been dying to get in a fight y'all because there's something about just like maybe been saying this im I'm willing to get punched for sure for like a lot of different things I wish I could say to people and I would happily take a punch for those things because it would be such a sweet release to say that out loud. Again, you all true. So Leanne, come meet us up, ask for our address. d I actually have this you fantasy, I feel like I've maybe said this before. Yes, you have.
00:28:37
Speaker
I have a fantasy where I sit on like an iron throne, okay? I'm sitting on a throne. And everyone who hates me gets to get in a line and all they all have to say it to my face. And everyone is gonna be like, So fucking ugly in that line and I'm going to just one where I get one sentence I get to say to every single one of them and it's gonna be so embarrassing for them But I want them to have to all walk up in a line and like then they have to say it i and then you get to And then you get to pick them apart after yeah, they only get one one sentence. Oh, that's so good. It'll be fucking I would so love that yeah that's my dream that does sound fun
00:29:16
Speaker
Um, no, I got in a screaming argument a few months ago at the dog park and it was the most fun i've had in years The most fun I actually had was it with a human or a dog? yeah just confirming Um And my friend kylie was there and witnessed it and yeah She just kept being like whoa, dude, and I was like i'm sorry. I just i've been holding that I was yeah He was just demeaning the fuck out of us and like being really rude. Us meeting you and your dogs. are kind i Me and Kylie and the dogs. And our dogs. Yeah, and I just was like, and the I don't know, I can't even go into it, I'll get too heated, but I was screaming on the top of my lungs and it felt unreal.
00:30:03
Speaker
That's my dream, but I don't want to scream I just want to say something sad so so mean you want to be I love screaming I fuck yeah And then I'll get in a fight if I have to but mostly I just want to tear someone's entire life apart I don't think I forever i have someone for you to do that what I have someone for that you could do that How do I where do I find them? Where do I go? Well, I'll tell you off screen. Perfect. I know that I just talked a ton of shit about my mom, but honestly, the one thing that I will, i'm not the one thing, but something that I will say, I will say I mom that don't like I don't hit below the belt ever because she taught me that like when I was growing up, if I couldn't say like my sister was stupid or like I hate you, that would be like I would be grounded.
00:30:47
Speaker
i I mean i i couldn't say we weren't allowed to say hate that was bad. I've never like cussed out a boyfriend. I've never yelled at a boyfriend. I mean I've respectfully gone in You guys have like maybe seen glimpses of yeah, i mind you're kind of like low-key crazy I'm crazy and not and like a you fucking dumb bitch, but it's like a Different yeah, you're really good about knowing like sometimes I'm like, I don't even know what's below the belt Me well, I just see truths then I'm like
00:31:20
Speaker
I don't think I've ever really told. Like sometimes I have to be checked, I feel like. And like Yvonne is like the checker. Like she knows what is like, what what's below the belt and what is not. Yeah. And sometimes I'm like, Ooh, I'm not positive. Yeah. She's good at that. And it's actually great. I feel like whenever I was getting back together with Joe, you were the one that like kind of facilitated that because the second he came back around y'all, I was ready to go in. We were actually talking about that this week too. Yeah. Cause Joe would like say something nice and fa to be like, go fuck yourself. No. And I'm like, well, Peyton, you literally want to get, how is he gonna? I was going to answer this properly. And I was like, I don't care if he can take the heat. I'm literally like, I'm typing out if you didn't go fuck yourself. right
00:32:01
Speaker
And she's like, he's like, I'm in love with you. I never, I never like fell out of love with you. I was just in a really bad place and I'm so sorry. and and i but like go for yourself And then you'd be like, yeah, I don't know. But here's the thing. and That's my response. Cause that's when I want someone to actually hurt. yeah I'm like, I would answer something like, like that's a lot kind of right now or something to just completely dismiss everything you just said. Cause I wanted him to be mad or I wanted to be mad at him. yeah But then you were like, you need to be nice. And I was like, Oh, I'm going to reel him in. And then I'm going to be mean to him. And you were like, stop. Saying no Iman literally yeah had to teach me that lesson Yeah, because I was doing the same thing and I cuz I was like literally fuck you if you hurt me Why the fuck do I have to facilitate? Like it is annoying. So your needs are met. Yeah still I'm like, why do I why can't I just be sassy cuz I'm fucking pissed at you but then Iman was like you've got a
00:32:55
Speaker
real it it's a real man and then It depends on your end goal. and goal and yeah If you're dealing with someone who's avoidant, the way that you're not gonna get them to text you back or call you back is to like go in on them every time they like reel you something. You have to like let them build up the trust to reach out to you and then like let's say if you meet up in person or if you get up on the phone, then that's when you go in. It's not about being nice, it's about playing smarter and like knowing how people work on some thing to happen. I also, when Joe came back around, I didn't for sure know I wanted to get back together. I feel like I knew that I loved him. yeah And I like was very sad about it. But you were like, you need to keep the door open. So then you help me keep the door open. But usually, I would just be like.
00:33:35
Speaker
So the first three people that message 3-way, I will help you put together a marketing plan on if you want to get back with your Excel.
Entertainment Opinions and Social Themes
00:33:44
Speaker
We literally call it marketing. I market it. You can send me your situation. This is only the first three people and I will help you with some marketing in that department if you would like. I'm doing a raffle. We should do a marketing answer. Yeah, you're so level headed when it comes to that shit. But don't get me wrong, I'm still insane. I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to be so zen. Well the most insane people give the best advice because they know the other end of it. Well I mean at the end of the day it's manipulation, so that is insane. at the end of the day. I just don't want the rumors to be. That's even more insane than just saying, go fuck yourself. Yeah, you don't want the rumors to be that you're like this put together. No, no, no, no. We all know. College educated. No, wait. College educated went to Harvard. No, I'm manipulative and I, yes. She's cunning. She's smart. I just mean. And she'll rip your hat off.
00:34:36
Speaker
So Leanne, also again, jokes on Leanne because like I told y'all, it was my dream as a young child to buy expensive sperm and then raise kids by myself so that no one else would have an opinion. Yeah, so just trust the process, Leanne. Luann. louan circle she Joke's on you. I already wanted to do that. So. So. She's preparing herself. She's setting herself up for fucking success. What are you doing? What are you doing, Leanne? Sending Peyton an Instagram deal. Yeah, you fucking lose. Me? pe of all people Peyton, who hasn't grown on Instagram in six years. Me. There's people that you could definitely. Yeah, like, oh, you guys, we did get a good Reddit thread. oh We have a good one. We have a good one. Someone said it's good. It it says Iman they spell your name with an E Peyton They always do that people always people will comment on my Instagram next to my name that says PA Y and they'll be like love this Peyton I'm like, are you actually doing what I do where you like want to get in someone's head? Well, okay. This girl was actually being really nice. She said she was laughing the hardest that she's ever laughed before. It was like something really, really nice. And then other people were crying. You can say my name. with pet Imagine, and i got imagine if we didn't put that content out because it was low quality and she didn't get those laughs. Well, those weren't, those weren't about, I mean, they actually were low quality, but we still put them out. So, yeah so yeah, that was fine. It's just like, I don't know. It's like teach. You could say like to each their own. No.
00:36:03
Speaker
You couldn't say that. The podcast is about audio. We have different priorities. Or we could be like, let's agree to disagree. Every day person says that they feel like they're just meeting up with each other like, OK. Just not happening, but OK. so Anyway, I'm going to kill. Can you kill me because I'm so hungover and I can't do it myself. I'm going to kill. I'm not allowed to joke about that anymore. I'm going to kill Peyton and Bali. and I'm just joking. I'm going to kill hyping some hyping things up. I'm killing hyping things up. OK, let's hear about it. I have this particular thing that happened
00:36:46
Speaker
It was one of the most traumatizing things of my life. I saw this movie um close to after tour. It's called Theater Camp. And I see a Regina loop. Oh. And on tour to past time, we would do these like acting skits and you know, we were just, you know, be silly gooses. So after tour, I saw this movie theater camp and I was like, oh my God, this is so our vibe, our humor. I loved it. It was fucking hilarious. I was giggling. So I hype it up. I'm telling all my friends, it's the funniest thing ever.
00:37:28
Speaker
I put it on on the television when we're together in Palm Springs like a few months ago and no one laughed the entire movie. That's so embarrassing. Including myself to the point where I was like, um Like, do I even know what humor is? Like, do it. Am I even funny? Like, understand like, that's tough. It was, you know, because it's like the second you hype something up, especially a movie where it's like so long, like everyone's going to like nitpick every fucking scene and joke and be like, is that why she like oh this? was funny Yeah, it was the most embarrassing thing because
00:38:07
Speaker
it was just silent the whole entire time and I didn't like want to say anything or like acknowledge it because like I just was feeling that awkward like my whole body and face were tingling it's like it's like the most it's like the more extended version of showing someone a tiktok that's like a full minute long that you're like holding your phone like is watching hilarious watching their reaction the entire time yeah he like oh yeah you don't watch whole thing the link on yeah yeah ahbarrassing Yeah, no, so like literally hyping things up, but I guess I should specifically say movies anything longer than one minute
00:38:43
Speaker
especially like a stand-up special. Have you guys hyped a stand-up special with someone and then made them watch it? I don't think stand-up is funny. Yeah, I can see that. I can see that a hundred percent. You know what it is? I've only laughed in person. I've never laughed at stand-up on TV. Oh really? Well that always happens. There's a disconnect for you. Always happened to me with Joe because I love like women stand-up stuff and like I think that women are hilarious Yeah, but they're making like women related jokes You know I mean the Joe's just sitting there like not understanding. I don't have a diva cup. Yeah Doesn't know what that is. I'm like, okay Or they make jokes about like obviously like you sexual assault and things like women just like we have to joke about And we're like because it's so badly you just have to laugh and he's just like can't laugh So he's just like oh, yeah, cuz then if you're a guy and you laugh that makes sense I just like need the vibes of being in like I saw Dave Chappelle at Delilah it was
00:39:42
Speaker
Hilarious, but that would be one of his specials. Yeah, I can see that. Dave Chappelle represents the opposite of what I just said, but but about joe like Joe. Dave Chappelle will say stuff about being a black man, right and like I can't laugh at that because like sometimes it's like racist, like reverse racist stuff. Oh, you think that's funny? If I do laugh, Joe will say it every single time. He'll write it down. He's like, are you laughing? You shouldn't be. We should go to a stand up show soon. I love doing that. You know what my favorite kind is? Like the ones with like three people in the audience and people can like go up for one minute and they either bomb or they're so good. I love here's the thing. You like stuff that's like painfully awkward like that. No, I don't. I like I've seen your TikTok content that you consume. It's uncomfortable.
00:40:34
Speaker
Oops. You and who else does it? Do you mean my reposts? Expose. Then unfollow me then because I don't want to be insecure. Then unfollow me bitch. Unfollow me bitch. I've actually never seen your reposts on me, but I think it's you and Kelsey. You'll be like, do you follow these people? And I'm like, why would I follow that person? I can't even watch it. It's not really brain rotting. It's like... Do you guys think the TikTok size in you are hilarious? Politically incorrect.
00:40:57
Speaker
Some... I don't think I watched them. Yeah, clearly. I just showed you one and you giggled. I didn't think it was funny. You giggled your little ass off. I did. And then I went to the bathroom and I was watching their feet in the bathroom. Oh, that's a good sign. Just now. That's a good sign, Kristen. Thanks.
00:41:17
Speaker
Um, so yeah, that's what I'm killing. So, sure um, that's, that's our first fuck Mary killed. You guys kind of like get the vibe. and he Do you get what it is? Do you guys get it? It's going to be our little segment to catch you up on what we're bugging with. bugin What we're, Oh wait, tell them how we're, how you're bringing black. What? Oh, you're bringing black your brain. Okay, I can do it. You're bringing back on fleek. I'm bringing back on fleek. I'm bringing back. Fuggin. Yeah. Oh, that's on fleek. Oh, yeah. Like I think I saw his eyebrows on fleek. If you, if you caught like was a new go to comment or like, honestly, I might use it as a fucking Instagram caption. Stay tuned.
00:42:08
Speaker
On fleek. Maybe if it gets approved. No, you don't have to be on my personal. I would start following me on my personal if you want to see anything related to me. In your creative direction. It's going to be everything that I get denied. If you want to see Kristen's stylistic choices, just head to her social media. No, I'm like, guys, dead ass. Let me know if you want that. Let me know if you want that new podcast. I feel like it's going to sound like me and Hayden are being mean and everyone's going to be like, free Kristin. You guys let Kristin go. It's like, you guys just know. Just know. Just trust me on this. This is Kristin mass guilting everyone into being on her side. I will DM you some of the stuff. You can say that. Please don't start making me feel like, I mean, I don't like the guilt. I'm not being mean. Oh God. All right. Thanks, Scott, for listening. We'll talk to you all next week. Okay, bye. TTYL Lilas. Guys, it's really hard for me to be... Okay, well, I don't feel...