Transcript
Speaker: That a shtick like that, dude! Have you seen my dick? been looking for it.
Speaker: Sir, I'm going to rub one out right here on your counter.
Speaker: We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.
Speaker: I'm rinsing your girl out, bud.
Speaker: That's how I identify the Doteca e-drunk.
Speaker: a
Speaker: Hello, my name is Nick and I have shaft hair.
Speaker: Scrubbing the pot, which is what I call when I jerk myself off.
Speaker: We're just joking. Everything's jokes.
Speaker: Two girls, one cup? No. Two guys, one screen? Yes.
Speaker: Hello and welcome to episode 63 of the Two Guys One Screen Podcast, a.k.a. the Hemorrhoid Homies, a.k.a. the Poetown Boys who are not in Poetown. ah My name is Nick and I'm joined by Go-Gurt.
Speaker: Hey. That fucking sloshy fucking mess you got down there. Oh, yeah. And ah today we're reviewing Fantastic Four and we're joined by a very special guest, a self-proclaimed biggest fan of our show.
Speaker: And it's your it's either your fifth recording or your sixth recording. It's probably your third published episode, if I stand correct. Last time you saw him was on Harry's Bopper, Deathly Hallows Part 1. We were talking about Cho's Pussy.
Speaker: ah Give it up for Jake, everybody. Hi, guys, Dad. Welcome back to the podcast all the way in July. coming off Coming off a birthday. Yeah. I'm old Yeah, welcome to the club.
Speaker: Yeah. My back hurts when I get up now. My back also hurts when I get up. Me too, but that's because I take too many men. Yeah, you're just taking it? Yeah. I'll just my throat hurts, not my back, but yeah you're getting your fucking back broken.
Speaker: who Anyways, before we start the episode, we'll do a... Plug it in, plug it in. So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com.
Speaker: Or don't. Yeah, or don't. i don't give fuck. yeah Follow us on Letterboxd. Follow us on TikTok. No one has. Nope. I've sent requests. Besides Jake. ah Follow us on Letterboxd. Follow us on TikTok and YouTube.
Speaker: And then let us know if you want us to make a Patreon. So far, we got one. One person said they'll pay. One NaMean. yeah He literally a NaMean. So we're one step closer. Shout out that NaMean.
Speaker: We might do it just for him. Fuck it.
Speaker: I don't know if I'm going to for one NaMean. I don't think that really counts. We're getting close. I'm not going to pay because I hear the vulgar shit. You guys have to say regardless of worth but i caught what I just said. So, all right.
Speaker: All right. And then we hear that shit. You're right. Send us a voicemail. 508, eight fist us. ya me 508, eight dip my tip in a can of paint. Six minute, six minute limit.
Speaker: Also, also leave us a fucking comment. I'm really getting sick and fucking tired of saying that. And no one does it, you know, so just fucking do it. right. Yeah, something. or' you know Where's that fucking old hag that was like, oh, they're learning right now.
Speaker: Yeah, right? Where the fuck are you? but Where are you? Yeah, i fucking pull your name. I'm going drop your government name right here on the internet. And then, you know, leave us a star rating on Apple Podcasts. We do have a few star ratings on the podcast, I must say.
Speaker: Are we a five-star pod? we Yes. Let's go. yeah no one No one's going out of their way to be like, yeah, we're not. These guys suck. You're fucking racist.
Speaker: It's either 4 or 2. Yeah, Liza, Esther. They are very new and stumbling around right now. Looking forward to their evolution. Well, here we are, bitch. Here we are. 60 episodes later.
Speaker: We're better than ever. Yeah, yeah. we I would say yes. We're almost one year later, actually. Yeah, I'll fucking rinse you out, Esther. Esther sounds like an old league name, for sure. For sure. The bitch old.
Speaker: I don't know any women, though. Back in the day when I used to like write a ah description for each episode, now I just put the links. So you can click it or put it in your ass.
Speaker: It's lot quicker that way. Yeah. Well, before we review this fucking movie, because there are there's definitely things to say. Also, we did say on ah Superman that was our first superhero recording, and we did review Captain America Brave New World. Remember that fucking piece of shit?
Speaker: Yeah, it doesn't count. No, it definitely counts. It's an MCU movie. It definitely counts. It counts as a movie. You don't, just don't. and Yeah, I don't want to.
Speaker: yeah It's pretty mid. Instead, we just talked about high school and I had to bleep a lot of names. Oh. Yeah, we just doxed everybody. Maybe I should listen, see if I can reminisce. Maybe you can guess who we're talking about.
Speaker: Yeah, maybe. You probably could. We've doxxed several people on here. Including ourselves. We also can't say Guinan's first name because then everyone will know what his first name is. Truthfully, i don't think I quite know his first name.
Speaker: that's pretty Jake is my middle name. Yeah, I know. ah Shout out to that It was his birthday, right? Also, shout out to Mark. Fuck you, Mark. F you, Mark. I don't even know you, and you're such a piece of shit.
Speaker: Yeah, but I would say the two you, when it comes to texting, have the same intelligence level. That's very true. That's why I prefer phone calls. you know I got fat thumbs. You're a big phone call guy, and I got my thumbs.
Speaker: um I'm the half-thumb prince. That was funny. let's Let's just give a quick, I know it's a movie podcast, but let's give a quick RIP to Ozzy Osbourne and Hulk Hogan.
Speaker: Yeah, brother.
Speaker: That is RIP. That's crazy in three-day stretch to have them both be dead. yeah i I saw this ah meme, and it was like the reason that Hulk Hogan got cremated was because he didn't want anybody to bury him.
Speaker: No, I don't get it. Oh, burying means like, you know.
Speaker: Burying means like, you know, typically that's fought by an explanation. Yeah. For all the wrestling fans, being buried is like intentionally having your like losing to make it so you fall down the card.
Speaker: Like John Cena basically buried everybody. He was unbeatable. Triple H. Like Goldberg. Yes. Goldberg buried everybody. like that guy, huh? Huh?
Speaker: Goldberg just gives off like, I'm i'm a douche. Yeah. And he wasn't grateful that wwe WWE gave him his retirement match because he wanted it on a pay-per-view and they gave it to him on Saturday night main event. Yeah. are Are you trying to say that Vince McMahon is a scumbag? Well, he's not in charge anymore. So think you already knew that though.
Speaker: Hey man, his wife's in charge of my job now. So his wife's in charge of your job. She's the head of the department of education. Yeah, but shout out to Linda. Linda's in charge of what? Yeah, she's the head of the department of ed.
Speaker: Is she qualified for that? No, not at all. How would, how did, oh, I get it. But her daughter can be in charge of my wiener. Or daughter can fucking get it. Yeah, that's facts. You got the fucking hookers on her, that's for sure. she does. She looks good and she's like almost 50.
Speaker: if How you dead? Yeah. Uh, yeah So this past week, we all intermingled separately. We did. That was fucking wild. Well, we didn't all intermingle because I didn't see you.
Speaker: That's why I said separately. Oh, you're right. I didn't see you. Actually, i didn't talk you for basically a week. Yeah, well, I wasn't here. I would say we should go in in time chronological order, because the first thing that happened was Jake's birthday.
Speaker: And then after Jake's birthday, Gerald came to Boston, which was sick. We went spent a lot of money at the movie store. Look forward to three new episodes of.
Speaker: Yeah, you want it? Which we didn't say in the plug. We banked three episodes of Yeah, You Want It, which are coming out pretty soon. And then they're just going to be out over the next three months. And then we're basically in horror month. And you're not getting any during horror month because we're fucking busy.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, we are. And you might not get any in November either. you're gonna fucking like it, okay? Just accept what you You're getting get one episode a week and fucking like it. November, yeah, November, yeah.
Speaker: yeah definitely are. Although, did you buy shit at Barnes & Noble yesterday? I bought one thing. Oh, okay. So we don't have enough stuff for a Yeah, you won't. Just drop it now? Yeah, just one and one? No, I don't.
Speaker: Okay. No, I'll keep that that puckered inside my asshole. Well, mine was a Criterion. Mine was also a Criterion because there was the sale. Yeah. Yeah. So that's that's a thing that they do sometimes.
Speaker: ah But then also ah the thing that you said on the Pirates thing that we're not... We said we're going to say today We had a... An interaction with our our TikTok page?
Speaker: Because you know there hasn't been any clips. Yeah. We did have an interaction. of A strange interaction. Really no ah I would say it's pretty lit.
Speaker: It's lit, though. It's pretty fucking lit, though. I thought you did it. No, I didn't do it. ah So, somehow. We're sitting down eating some fucking tater tots. Yeah. Shout out to my job, but were served in a literal fucking dog bowl. Okay?
Speaker: Trio has some goddamn respect. Yeah, but they were they're fire, so it's fine. They were good, but they were in a fucking dog bowl.
Speaker: Yeah. So, apparently apparently our official TikTok page commented the little heart face emojis. got hacked. Yeah, we definitely got hacked, but in a good way.
Speaker: worked out in our To our benefit, yeah. We commented on an Avatar video, and like the band Avatar, and one of their guitarists, Jonas, liked are our comment.
Speaker: That means that the guitarist, and likely the entire band of Avatar, knows that our page exists. And that's awesome. We're making waves. There is... Oh, it's the same... Honestly, bro, the people walking by my window is getting a little boring now. It's the same people.
Speaker: This bitch walked by several times. Numerous ya means? No, she ain't a ya means. She's that white bitch that said shop's a hot topic and definitely cut herself. Oh, the one that Gerald's in love with? i think we I think we made... She debuted on the Jaws episode.
Speaker: So the majority of those people that were at the Ghost concert... Yo, the people at the Ghost Conjure are going fucking get it. That one chick with the corset? Oh my god. Jake likes skinny bitches, so it doesn't really matter.
Speaker: but i guess no i mean it's just That's just your type, and we're not knocking you for it. It's fine. It's just ironic because I'm a whale. yeah You know what? It's just what it is. And that's a good segue. Nick and I went and saw Ghost.
Speaker: I wanted to fucking stick in her blowhole, you know what i mean? I did. I wanted to fucking give it to her. Oh my God. If you're in the Boston area, i went to a ghost concert or commuted into the Boston area to go to a ghost concert and you were wearing a corset and had big fat jiggly tits, hit us up.
Speaker: Hit us up. We'll fucking do bad things to you. Teddy fuck you. drill night together will spit roast you absolutely oh yeah yeah she could fucking get it she was she was insane but then literally once ghost started uh just could not even focus on her because ghost was outstanding fucking amazing yeah i mean if anybody out there doesn't listen to ghost and get first of all start listening to ghost and then second of all go to one of their concerts because it actually is worth the money Yeah.
Speaker: Like I was, I was trying to explain the fucking nosebleeds. I was trying to explain to my parents, did like how fucking like crazy, like theatrical they are. Yeah. and And they were like, that sound, how can they get any bigger? I'm like, you're right. I don't know.
Speaker: but the way me By the way, next time we got to get seats like four rows closer because we were like four rows off of getting the fucking money, like catching it. I know. we're like We were like four rows off from that shit. Yeah, i have I have the Young Gravy dollar bills.
Speaker: Now I need a ghost one. Which you all kindly gifted me. Yeah, I need a ghost one. Yeah, I also didn't know what what what they were shooting out of there until I looked on their Instagram and saw it. And I was like, oh, it's actual like ghost stuff. dollar bills money yeah during mummy dust that have no value but they have value to us right i'll rub it on my penis go check out also go check out right here right now the movie or the vinyl whoa either either or check it out because it's pretty fucking sick one of the best live bands i think wow also that song that i don't know how to pronounce
Speaker: Lacryma? Yeah, Lacryma. That song, yeah, Lick Me Clean. That song is growing on your boy hard like a hard-on. Yeah?
Speaker: Is it? Yeah, like I like that song. Yeah, it's good. I think it's better than Satanized for sure. Yeah, it yeah is. It's not better than Peacefield. Sorry. I just didn't know what that song was. Oh, okay.
Speaker: I just didn't care. That song fucking bangs, dude. Every song fucking banged. Even like... Songs you don't fucking care about. Right. Yeah. Like, why'd I go so hard on He Is? don't know.
Speaker: And then we already... I mean, we basically already have locked in what movie we're reviewing for the podcast. Either for the two-year or just gonna review it. It's called Pink Flamingos. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I mean...
Speaker: ratwell should we Wow. what's Let's just tell Jake and we'll just bleep this. But Jake, we watched ah
Speaker: Oh! like like mean like um Yeah. Actually. Like in the movie, actually. Oh! I'm just going to bleep and then leave the Jake going, oh, in there. Wait, wait, wait.
Speaker: i watched I watched straight porn last night. I watched a movie called Caligula. holy I watched the uncut version. But anyways, back to Pink Flamingos. Gerald bought it because he heard so much about it. But I don't think it matters how much you hear. You got to fucking watch the movie because it's fucking wild. You have witness Fucking crazy-ass movie, dawg. And the sad reality is we both gave it really good scores.
Speaker: I officially have not rated it yet, but I would agree with your rating, yeah. I gave it a three and a half. Yeah, I would probably i probably give it a three and a half, but I haven't rated it it yet. I don't know if I have any interest in seeing someone's...
Speaker: Yeah, well, it wasn't getting pushed... No, I think that's the wrong way to say He was like...
Speaker: And the camera would just zoom in and zoom out on it for whatever reason. oh And it was just for way too long of a period of time. Yeah. Directed by John Waters, same guy who did Cry Baby.
Speaker: Cry Baby's a bad movie. Fuck that movie's a piece of shit. Although, shout out to my slut cousin for recommending that movie, even though it sucks. I think she also recommended to me Caligula. And for that, what is wrong with you? Why has she seen that? So now she just told you to watch porn, essentially.
Speaker: She, I mean, they were slobbering on Dick hard. I watched a guy fist an animal. I don't think I've ever seen Labia in um like a movie movie before. She was really picking up. Yeah.
Speaker: You know how you've been like jokingly talking about like pulling a labia back and like stapling it to the thigh or whatever, put like a fucking tack in it? She was really doing that shit. Jesus. You know what that means, right? The people who made that movie listen to our podcast.
Speaker: Right. because Obviously. We had a podcast in 1979. Yeah. And Umbrella just put that out. Yeah, can't confirm. Can't confirm. Not worth it. Unless unless I can see some of that Snatchola in 4K, not worth it. You mean?
Speaker: ah Yeah. There is a 4K version out there. I don't know if it's front it. to see something that fucking hold. Right. But this girl, I mean, i the angles... You know how like we were wondering with playing Flamingos, like, is that prosthetic dick or real dick?
Speaker: Yeah. Or whatever we watched before that that had dick in it? ah Oh, 28 Years Later. That movie, yeah. Caligula is like... Not cutting, filming a dick or a vagina for so long. You're like, yeah, that's not, that's a real dick. Like that, yeah, that dick is for sure attached to him.
Speaker: Ain't no way they had the prosthetics they have today in 1975. So it's just porn. It's just straight. is I mean, there's just some scenes that just straight porn, orgies.
Speaker: It's wild fucking wild. Also, tons of bush, which your boy's a fan of. Not George. And it's... Malcolm McDowell. Like, yeah, like he could just been Luke Skywalker, but instead he decided to have an orgy. Yeah. Like, what are we doing?
Speaker: Which I'd probably also choose an orgy over Star Wars. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, from what I saw, like he went from Clockwork Orange to that. And like Clockwork Orange is pretty fucked, but this is even fucker.
Speaker: Fuck more fucked.
Speaker: Jake, you ever see A Clockwork Orange? Yeah, i actually have. Wow. i don't remember most of that movie, but I have seen it for sure. all I remember from that movie is the rape scene. and There was a water around here a lot of rape.
Speaker: And the scene where they like peel back his eyelids. Jake, be specific. I remember the first rape scene, and that's it. I remember the first rape scene.
Speaker: That's all I remember. Yeah. yeah But I would say the rape scene in Showgirls... Jake, would you agree the rape scene in Showgirls is wilder than the rape scene in Cockrocorn? Yes, 100%. Bro, the rape scene in Showgirls is fucking wild.
Speaker: It's crazy. Have you watched it yet? Yeah. know joe You gotta watch that shit. You need to. I should have. Looking back, probably should have bought that. You know, I know it's $36, but. No, you should have bought it.
Speaker: It was vinegar. It was vinegar syndrome, but also. No, it's no. It's not good. I mean, Jake would probably tell you yes, based on his star rating, but no. I feel like that's no. All right. Just go watch porn instead.
Speaker: Yeah. Watch the movie, but don't buy it. It's a real movie. It's so hard for me to say this because like showgirls, when I watched it was fucking wild. And then we watched Pink Flingers, which is fucking wilder.
Speaker: And then I watched Caligula, which is by far the wildest fucking movie I've ever watched my entire life. Caligula, wilder than a Serbian film for sure.
Speaker: yeah have to You have to watch Caligula. You haven't seen it, but Caligula fucking crazy. I mean, from what, ah from what you should fuck the horse. No, I know. But from what you didn't actually fuck the horse, the guy, actress doesn't fuck the actor, doesn't fuck the horse.
Speaker: Right. Not, but you assume it. But the next thing that I didn't show you, they're all laying in the bed together. A horse, a fucking horse. Yeah. Yeah. See the Caligula, maybe from what you see is worse, but the overall plot of Serbian film is worse.
Speaker: The sex acts are more like vile. Yeah. I mean, basically what that boils down to is like, what's worse, fucking an animal or fucking a kid? Essentially, yeah. That's really where we're at.
Speaker: Yeah. are Both are defenseless. I would say that. I mean, of course, that's going to kick them. I don't know. Both cannot give consent, so it's illegal. But Jake, you're a historian. Did Romans fuck animals? Not that I know of off the top of my head.
Speaker: and Okay, fair enough. We appreciate that. ah Well, all I'm saying is he definitely fucked that horse. Shout out you, Malcolm McDowell. You're fucking crazy motherfucker. I know the dudes were banging the shit out of each other. He was awesome. A lot of castration in that movie. He was Dr. Loomis in the fucking Rob Zombie Halloweens.
Speaker: Completely forgot about ah Yeah, and those movies are fucking... o I like the first one. Shout out to Danny Towers. He actually didn't quit. Shout out Danny Calvert again. It's not going make because I said on Yeah You Want It that he did quit again, but he didn't.
Speaker: He didn't. He's high. Yeah. shot Until he quits again. He might quit a again. might happen. Yeah, who knows? He was looking real pissed off for the other day, and I was like, are you good, bro? He was like, yeah, yeah. And then i just didn't say anything, and i was like oh you're going us all up, aren't you?
Speaker: Danny Towers, he is officially... not white. That's not his thing. He's tilted Towers. Danny Towers is tilted right now. He's not doing good. yeah Just know that I wish you all the best, sir. You're like one of the top five cooks on my roster right now.
Speaker: Shout out Actually, top three, because I just had to fire somebody who was probably a little bit ahead of you. Dan. No one from work hears this. Okay. You're time to step up, Dan. Yeah, Dan. Fucking make the moolah.
Speaker: You know what mean? Yeah. So we saw Ghost. We watched a wild movie. We did watch Imperium, but I don't think it movie's getting reviewed anytime soon. also fell asleep. It was going to get reviewed, but honestly, i don't think that movie's as fucking wild for us to review as we thought it was going to be.
Speaker: Daniel Radcliffe does drop the N-word three times. Wow. Three spaces. Drop C, hard r Also, like one time, like militia, you fuck it and like just drops it. Shut the fuck up. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. Not, I mean, the movie was honestly, cause I, you know i made through the movie. The movie was pretty good. I will say towards the middle, got a little aimless and then kind of found its way again. But crazy that found it while you were here.
Speaker: Yeah. I saw a review that said it was like our generation's American history X. I'm like, wow. I don't know about that. From what I saw. I don't know about that. American history X four and a half to five star movie, bro.
Speaker: Shout out Edward Norton. Yeah. shut Shout out skinheads. Am I right? No. Yikes. Yeah. yeah i We can't shout out skinheads, but I will shout out the fucking costume design. I'm making Edward Norton look like a skinhead.
Speaker: There you Pretty good. Yeah. A lot more than what Imperium did by just shaving Daniel Radcliffe's head. Right. Also, when are we going to get to see Daniel Radcliffe's piece? Probably never. Right?
Speaker: I want to see it though. Because what if he makes a next Harry Potter? What if he makes a cameo in the show? Yeah, if they show him fucking his wife to make baby... Baby... Harry Potter Jr. What is his name? Albus Severus Potter.
Speaker: Oh, you pulled that out your ass. Yeah, that is... That's his fucking name. Yeah, you're right. True fan over here. yeah Yeah. And then I saw Jake.
Speaker: I hung out with Jake. That you did do. We saw Fantastic Four together. Let me hear this fucking wild fucking idea you had. Yeah, because we're getting into the review, I guess.
Speaker: Yeah. So we sat down, right? Did you get in Theater 16 or whatever fucking theater you didn't want? Nah, thank God, yo. We got in Theater 2. Oh, short walk. Yeah, that's that ticket bitch and then and then the theater. You know what mean? Didn't we go there one time the ticket bitch was your fucking ex-girlfriend?
Speaker: Yeah, apparently she only works nights, though. Yeah, shout out to her, I guess. Shout out to her. She got big fucking titties. Yeah, you got milkers on you. No way she listens. It's all right. Yeah, I knew she was familiar. Yeah.
Speaker: And then we sat down. Everything was cool.
Speaker: We were just vibing, having a good time, you know? yeah i don't know I don't know if you're going to have to censor any of this or whatever. You definitely are going to have to censor this because I'm about to get vile. I don't know how many fucking times... like
Speaker: ah you had like a Mahoimanoi? Five Mahoimanois in a row. Now, i the theater, it was pretty popping, right? But it wasn't popping enough to the point where you have to sit right next to us, right? That's pretty what it boils down to.
Speaker: i mean, they were so close to the drools getting on your hands or whatever. Not only was he a Mahoymanoy, right? He was a nah, mean Mahoymanoy. You never see those. Like a Ronald Heisting fight. You never see those. Hey, yo, okay, see that? that we Cut that. i know This motherfucker was talking to himself.
Speaker: the entire movie and not like, like the non-mean-mahormon-oi. Yeah.
Speaker: right he's talking about the movie he's just sitting there himself he's like wow that would never happen oh my god look at mr fantastic oh oh they're not the fantastic four five they're the fantastic four oh my god ah and he's like at first before during the previews right he was on his phone i really wish he was on his phone the entire time instead of fucking talking to himself all right wait so be he this mohoi went unsupervised the movies i it I don't know. It looks a whole group of them went to the movies by themselves. On field trip.
Speaker: Yeah. they were like They escaped the hospital. Yeah, but they were like, so it was Jake, me, empty seat, Mahoymanoy, empty seat. Mahoymanoy. Empty seat, yeah. And then this one dude, he just started going like this, rocking back and forth, and the chair squeaking the entire movie, yeah right?
Speaker: I'm like losing my mind. wanted to slap him so hard, right? Yeah. So hard. And then I was like, because Jake just kept staring at me. And I'm like, i know. We can't do anything, though.
Speaker: Can't do anything. Can't. Yeah. So the whole movie, that you're just making noises. The whole movie, the guy sitting next to Gerald is talking to himself.
Speaker: And you know how like people have the common courtesy to turn their phone brightness down? Yeah. No, that shit was full. All the way up. Yeah, but they're my hormone noise. they don't know any better. Yeah, but I'd rather him be on his full fucking brightness phone than talking to himself.
Speaker: Yeah. Also, was the theater packed what? there No, there was a lot of empty seats. Oh. Like, we could have moved. I was going to say, you guys move? No. Yeah.
Speaker: Do tell to to the back of the theater? i respect No, we were damn near. We were two rows up from back. From the back. Fucking crazy. He didn't get the joke. It's all right. Yeah. Oh, Rosa Parks head out. Shout out to Rosa Parks. Yeah.
Speaker: No. Listen, let me tell you something. I saw a young picture of Rosa Parks the other day. She can get it. She can get it. She doesn't have the milkers on her, but she can get it.
Speaker: She's going to be in the back taking it from the back. That's what's up. You're Googling young Rosa Parks right now? I did just Google that, but they're too young.
Speaker: i mean, this picture, i would say, yeah they don't i mean, unfortunately, ah during this time period they're not taking full body thirst trap selfies. You know what I mean? Yeah. fourteen know Yeah.
Speaker: Right. Right. Just saying she could get it. Didn't take many pictures on the Underground Railroad. So I get it. You know what I mean? well i think you're I think you're in the wrong time period, brother. I'm telling you it's a joke that I would bang Rosa Parks when she went to see Shrek with her grandkids in 2005. Oh, is that a real thing?
Speaker: Yeah. What Shrek was that? The first one? Shrek 1? Shrek 1 was not 2005. Whatever year Shrek 1 was, Rosa Parks took it. 2001. What year do you think Shrek 1 was?
Speaker: 2001. A Space Odyssey? No. Fuck that movie. I think it's pre-9-11. No. I mean, 2005 is pre-Chris Benoit for sure.
Speaker: Well, yeah. ah trek one Shrek 1 is 2001. God damn, look at god damn look at me 2005 is Shrek 2, the best one. one The best one.
Speaker: Still pre-Chris Benoit. At least she saw Shrek 2 before she fucking kicked the bucket, right? I think she kicked the bucket in 2001. I don't know. All I know is she saw Shrek in theaters. Well, at least she went out...
Speaker: in a blaze of glory, you know? If the last movie I ever saw was Shrek 2, then I died, I'd pretty happy. Yeah, right? so she did that She died October 24, 2005. Oh, okay. Yeah. Let me be honest, as an old woman, she could fucking get it too.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm telling you, man. Yeah, why not? Shout to her. Everything she did for our country. She didn't do much. I'm okay. She didn't do much for us, tell you that much. All she did was get arrested.
Speaker: rat ah so now Yeah. Yeah. yeah That's fucking wild.
Speaker: By the way, I did ah on the topic of theater etiquette because for some reason as a society, we just can't do it anymore. Yeah. For some God forsaken reason, i went to go see a movie at 1030 at night after working a shift.
Speaker: uh i what's the idea the movie eddington with joaquin phoenix and pedro pascal pedro pascal full circle the new ari aster flick the new ari aster film uh movies two and a half hours so didn't start till 11 didn't leave it here till 1 30 i don't know why i did that to myself but uh was it good street got street parking which was nice It's, um, yeah I'm very, I'm a little scared to talk about this movie because I feel like if you feel a certain way about it, it means you think this, which is just not, like, it's very, like, people are very black and white about it and it's just, like,
Speaker: I don't think that's true. Way too political. Are you gay or something? It's subjective. What, Jake? What is it? Turn you gay? It doesn't turn you gay. I wouldn't say that. I mean, unless you really have a hard-on for Pedro Pascal, I would say. Maybe it does.
Speaker: know. mean, who doesn't? Or maybe seeing Pedro Pascal get stretched out in Fantastic Four gives you a hard-on. um whatever you're into. their right that man <unk>s their own right this is my thing
Speaker: Two thirds of the movie, I'm like, I'm in. Like, all right, we're doing good. Then you start getting towards like the middle end slash end of the movie. And it's like, bro, I thought this movie was going to over very soon. And it's like, there's still 45 minutes left. And then you're just like chugging me through the last 45 minutes. It's like, Jesus Christ, fucking wrap it up, buddy. We get it.
Speaker: Now I'm in. Yeah. um I think I gave it a three. I don't think it's better than Midsommar and it's not better than Hereditary. ah But it's definitely better Bo is Afraid. Fuck that movie.
Speaker: Movie's a fucking piece of shit. But either way, I was put by theater etiquette. So I'm sitting in the theater. The movie's been on. We're at least an hour, hour and 20 minutes into this fucking thing.
Speaker: This couple walks in. Middle fucking movie. um don't know they were theater hopping or what. But they walk in. They sit down in the middle of back row, which the theater was pretty small. ah And most of us were like grouped in the back three rows as far as like the seats we picked. And they the two of them start to fucking talk. The AMC.
Speaker: Alamo was at 10. I couldn't make It was too too far away.
Speaker: But... just start fucking talking. Just full ah the full volume. Full volume talking. Scumbags. How do you walk into a movie and then just ah You're late. you're we're We're in it.
Speaker: Shit's already gone down. We're in it. Especially something like that where it's like all story. Also like Fantastic Four, like whatever. but Yeah. Yeah. Or like... ah like the raid you're watching it for the fight scenes not for the plot yeah okay so they're just like but but bu but but but but but just talking and i'm like jesus fucking christ i was about to say something then thank god the guy like diagonal in front of them uh turn on like you shut the fuck up please just said it like that and then they were quiet and then they just left fuck up and left it was just like who does this like that's so fucking rude that might be worse
Speaker: No, you had to Mahoma the entire movie. i had to do that five minutes of walking. But yeah you can't multiple you can't tell a fucking Mahoma noi shut the fuck up. because i'm a Oh, I almost did.
Speaker: was close, but I knew like yeah I couldn't. But if Jake did it, it'd be okay because Jake is also a little Mahoma noi himself. Dude, I almost walked up to him and said, dude, shut the hell up.
Speaker: Jake could just like make a certain face. Like, oh, it's just, you know... Yeah. Yeah. That's all it takes. And he was a non-mean, so it's like a hate crime too. Shout out to the non-means.
Speaker: Yeah, but I was kind of scared he was Gary-Yank. He walked in in a gray hoodie, hood up, and a black backpack.
Speaker: I'm just saying. Then I saw he's wearing glasses. I'm like, this guy's got the balls on him. and hes fucking He's riding above a Geraldine. You know what mean? yeah Yeah.
Speaker: Going to school. He's one of the kids that spit on your mom. He's fucking drooling on her hand. He probably spit roast my mom, you know what I mean? That's pretty fucking disgusting. I don't know.
Speaker: I think she the only person she's ever slept with is my dad. That's sad life. Yeah.
Speaker: Geraldine, in with your body count. We want to know.
Speaker: Let us know. All right. We'll talk about this fucking this cast list for the fantastic four first steps. here's What I was thinking, right? Yeah. What are you thinking? When we go through a cast list, if if they're like in a previous movie we review, should we shout that out?
Speaker: Last scene on. Brother, I don't know where you've been. I've been doing that. yeah I literally I think I literally did that ah like two recordings ago.
Speaker: Maybe it's not out yet. I definitely did it for Gary Oldman. I know that for a fact. Gary Oldman's a goat. Yeah. All right. You're a little closer, bud. Can tongue my fucking balls.
Speaker: Gary Oldman's a goat. I also just got the low battery, so we're going see what happens. Yikers. Oh, it's 10%. I'm fine. Yeah. Let me just. ah What else is open? Just cut these. it's fine.
Speaker: Movies directed by Matt Shackman. I did. He did, uh, he did WandaVision. Apparently i haven't seen that. WandaVision is great.
Speaker: He also, you're not a TV guy, but WandaVision is good. He also did a movie called cut bank, which I've heard is fucking horrible. So I'm not going to bother watching that film.
Speaker: Uh, here's your cast. This is, ah This is Gerald's favorite dude, Pedro Pascal. Fucking eat his ass. i don't care. Gerald wants to fucking eat this guy's bunghole out, bro.
Speaker: You know what I mean? He plays Reed Richards. This guy is having like a... This guy's career is exploding, huh? He's in everything.
Speaker: He's in three movies in the past, like, summer. Yeah. ah He was in Gladiator 2, not for long enough. We did talk about that movie. Go check our episode on... What do we call it?
Speaker: Get Glicked? Get Geeked? We got ah Vanessa Kirby who plays Sue Storm. I'll be honest. Yeah, i get fucking rinsed. Yo, absolutely. What?
Speaker: Rins her out, brother. She was in Napoleon? didn't even know she was in Napoleon. Jake, did you see that movie? Napoleon? The Joaquin Phoenix Napoleon movie? Yeah. Did it piss you off too? Yes. We talked about it.
Speaker: We probably did. Oh, she was Josephine Bonaparte in that movie. Who would have thought? She can take my boner in parts if she wants. Yeah, I mean, whatever she's into. Yeah. We got, uh... Is it Ebon or Ebon?
Speaker: I hope it's Ebon. but We got Ebon Moss something. Bacharach? Bacharach? but He plays Bacharach. Bacharach. He's Ben Grimm, a.k.a. The Thing.
Speaker: I'm pretty sure this guy's most known for his appearance in that show on Hulu. The Bear. That's the one. Yeah. As far as films are concerned, he was in the Royal Tenet. I don't fucking remember him in this movie.
Speaker: But that's what it is. We got Ralph Innocent who plays Galactus. This motherfucker is in everything. We've talked about him before. ah We've covered him on Nosferatu. We've covered him in Harry Potter.
Speaker: Homies and the Witch. Yeah, he's the fucking dad in The Witch, yo. Oh, he's the fuck. Ralph Innocent is the fucking goat.
Speaker: Whoa, is this Julia Garner? Hold on, you forgot Joseph Quinn, bro. Yeah, this guy looks like fucking Make-A-Wish Mark Zuckerberg. What are you talking about? Johnny Storm, bro, the worst character in the movie. I think Johnny Storm is the worst character in every Fantastic Four movie.
Speaker: I just 100% agree. Can't stand this man. Even Chris Evans? Yeah. Yeah. When you say that you mean the character is bad or like the character bad. The character of Johnny Storm is so fucking annoying.
Speaker: Well, just wants to fuck chicks. That's fine. I get it. But like he's just cringe. Apparently he was in Gladiator. I don't remember that. I really need to watch that movie. Is he the little boy? Wait, you've never seen Gladiator 1?
Speaker: Nope. I've never seen either of them. Okay, well, hold on. Hold on. Hold on a second. Wait a second here. Okay, Jake, you absolutely must watch Gladiator, the first one. That's a must.
Speaker: You have to watch that, okay? Okay. Gladiator 2, maybe if you're a jet bed and you're like, i want to watch Gladiator 2 before I die, good on you for doing that, but you don't need to watch it. Okay.
Speaker: Yeah, but Gladiator 1 is like a, you definitely need to like check that movie out. That's a great fucking movie. Okay. Okay. I did not realize that Shala Ball was Julia Garner, aka the Silver Surfer.
Speaker: but we dig Are we piping down the Silver Surfer? Yes, 100%. oh okay Yeah, bro. Even when she's all chromed up. She doesn't have the heavies, but they're they're big enough. there's But she's a skinny mini, which is what you like. Yeah, I do like skinny mini. But she's in the Wolfman in that movie's ass
Speaker: Hit me up. We did a whole episode on Wolfman, I think. Was that a combo episode or just Wolfman? No, I think it was just Wolfman, which is rough. don't know how we managed to do that. ah Fun fact, she is the wife of the male Silver Surfer.
Speaker: Interesting. The actor that played Silver Surfer in... No, the literal Silver Surfer.
Speaker: Shala Ball is the wife of Silver Surfer. How does that work if Silver Surfer – You're saying – Because of the family died.
Speaker: Comic-wise. Oh, you're saying Silver Surfer male and Silver Surfer female are two different characters. Yes. They didn they didn't just make Silver Surfer female be different. because Because I looked at Jake after the movie. I was like, yeah, I don't i don't really mind that like they made Silver Surfer a woman because it kind of made sense with the whole mother aspect.
Speaker: Yeah. And then I like later on in the week, I Googled it and I'm like, oh, she's been in the comics since 1968. And the wife of male silver surfer.
Speaker: I'm like, I'm OK with it. Makes more sense now. I'm okay with too. I didn't really care. honestly thought it was just like, oh, we're being different. And it didn't matter anyway because she's a fucking metal galactic alien. So it doesn't really matter whether it's a man or a woman.
Speaker: We got a white bitch with a dog. What kind of dog she got? Loki, that dog looks like Cleo. Be honest. R.I.P. to Cleo. R.I.P. R.I.P. um Next up, we got Paul Walter Hauser, who is Harvey Elder, a.k.a. the Mole Man, a.k.a. the same villain from Incredibles.
Speaker: Mole Man? The Underminer. The Underminer, yeah. We're going one-on-one with The Underminer. um thought this guy was somebody else, or I'm right. Oh, I am. It's the same guy. Okay, so he was in Black Klansman, Cruella. He was Richard Jewell in Richard Jewell. It's a decent movie.
Speaker: ah yup And he was also in a movie. I've only seen it because it was the mystery movie at AMC, ah The Luckiest Man in America, which is like a, not a biopic, but it's like a movie about a guy who studied this game show and then won a lot of money because he like spent his whole life studying it and they thought he was cheating, but he just studied it.
Speaker: Nice. ah Sounds interesting, right? But fucking boring as shit. Okay. Ladies back with the dog. Okay. Okay. Who else we got here?
Speaker: Hey, we want to shout the guy that does voices. Herbie. Sure. Got Matthew fucking wood. Got some fucking woodies. He does Herbie. This man's been in fucking everything. What you guys click on his name?
Speaker: He's in Star Wars Episode 3, Episode 1, and Episode 2. All Jake's favorites. Incredibles 2, Ant-Man, Frozen, Lightyear. Who's Matthew Wood voicing, though?
Speaker: Is he rich? He's got to be, bro. He's got to be. I mean... Who is he in Star Wars? I'm deep. i'm already past Mace Windu. haven't seen his fucking name yet. He would.
Speaker: He's probably walking around in one of the de gay-ass places. Yeah, but he's in all of them. You're telling me he's a side piece in all three movies? Yeah. Where is this guy? This guy, you know, I'm deep, bro. He's deep, bro.
Speaker: I don't even see him here. Oh, hold on. Bib Fortuna? Who the hell is Bib Fortuna? I don't know. He was an Ant-Man and a Wasp Quantum. on a google c Oh, he's also in the next... Nope.
Speaker: He's in Rogue One. Big Fortuna. Oh! This guy. Who? It's the motherfucker with the... He kind of looks like a Belial from Basket Case.
Speaker: Oh, the Blue Johns? No, he's not blue. He's white.
Speaker: He like... It looks like he's hanging his dick over his shoulder. what I mean Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, This dude. Yeah, we'll post a picture. No, it won't. No, won't. Silly goose.
Speaker: Also, I'm trying to give it to Natasha Lyonne, like low-key. Who's Natasha Lyonne? She played that, like, the dude that the thing, the chick that the thing was trying to bang. Yeah, I'm down. Rachel Rosman.
Speaker: Yeah, she can get an honorary button for that. Dying, dying, dying. She was in Uncut Johns. She's in my favorite comedy of all time. Scary Movie 2. That, for some reason, left the schedule. We've got to put that back on the schedule.
Speaker: Yeah, we do. Because that's the birthplace of the button. Yummy! Yummy! Yeah. Alright. I honestly think that Pedro Pascal kind of fucking killed it, though.
Speaker: It's like his acting was the best part of the film. For me, personally. I think he was better than the other Reed Richards.
Speaker: Yeah, guess. I haven't watched it. You you've watched everything before you went and saw his movie, so you have, like, a recent comparison. I grew up watching other guy, which he went on to, like, have no career after that movie.
Speaker: You want to tell them the really embarrassing thing that happened while I started watching X-Men? You can tell them. So I was asking Nick about what I should watch. And we settled on the fantastic four because I knew I was going to go see the new one.
Speaker: And I had never seen any of them. So I said, all right. And my dumb ass went home and started watching the X-Men thinking it was the fantastic four.
Speaker: That is pretty wild. That's fucking wild. Completely two, totally different names. Fantastic Four and X-Men is kind of different. Yeah. yeah i don't know what to tell you guys. It's like the bookends of the alphabet.
Speaker: Right. Yeah. Listen, well, the X-Men got me hooked, and now I'm in on both of them. I've watched everything. You've watched all the X-Men, too, which is fucking wild. What's your favorite one? ah Days of Future Past.
Speaker: Yeah, by far. It's the best movie. It's not even close. Don't want to say I'm indifferent about it, but i feel like it was way too goddamn long. only an hour and four.
Speaker: It's not even two hours. I feel like the middle, like, there was parts of the movie where nothing was happening.
Speaker: Define nothing. When he was in the lab with the baby. he was he He was just talking to the baby and saying nothing. He's like, I don't know what you do. I mean, that was like, literally like 30 seconds, I think. yes that.
Speaker: yeah Also, had meaning. Meaning.
Speaker: um Because for me, if I had a baby, I'd be like, yeah, Galactus, eat that shit. What do I care? Yeah. Yeah, I really wish I was hoping I'm like, yo, do they have the balls?
Speaker: I want there to be a Marvel and or DC movie, right? That's one of the group movies, right? Yeah, they don't do the whole tease. Oh, they're dead.
Speaker: Then they come alive. I just want them to fucking straight merc somebody like a main character off rip. Like they need to just do that. Like if they killed Sue Storm, that would be crazy.
Speaker: Yeah, but i mean, didn't they do that in like Infinity War? Yeah, but there's like, like a straight up new, like if they, when they make a Justice League movie. Yeah.
Speaker: Like straight up kill, like fucking Green Lantern or something. Like off Ritz, you know what I mean? like he's black Like five minutes into the movie. No, because like they were really trying to save her. And then like, oh, wow, their baby touched her. And now she's alive again. Because obviously the baby has fucking superpowers.
Speaker: Yeah, but also when you're watching these movies, that scene was bad. Because that scene was bad. We all know they're making like and another know Avengers level movie. And they are going to have, they need a cast because they've managed to fumble the bag with everybody else they used to have.
Speaker: Right, yeah. So like, you know, she's going to come back to life. I don't know why that scene was dragged out for so long. It was like really too long. Yeah. And like, we get it. She's going to like live. We all know she's going to live even without having a movie already out. We all know that she's going to survive.
Speaker: Yeah. But I really did. so ahead. the one thing I did like was how everybody kind of came around the child. Like I didn't mind the whole plot. about the el fuck yeah what the fuck But like, it was cool to see cause the fantastic four, how they were portrayed. Right. Cause it's like years after they first came onto the scene.
Speaker: Right. So like everybody loves them. Right. They're just kind of part of, the community. Like, they're not, like, the Avengers, where it's like, oh my god, the Avengers. Like, the thing is literally going shopping. Like... Right.
Speaker: They're just part of society. They just happen to be superheroes. Also, the Earth 868 thing, is that the suggests there are a different, like, multiverse? It's, like, somewhere else, which is why it's not, like, a big thing.
Speaker: Right. It seems like they're the only people in New York City right now. That are superheroes. That are superheroes, yeah. Yeah, and it's also... It's not meant to be our Earth, ah just based on like the cars that are there and everything like that.
Speaker: Because it was they were flying cars. the What is it? It's not the Underminer, is it? That's incredibles incredible. It takes place in a futuristic 1960s. yeah no yeah its it takes place in a futuristic nineteen sixty s Yeah.
Speaker: Which doesn't really make any sense. No. Futuristic Kind of an oxymoron. not Yeah. Futuristic 1960s. But I will say, that being said, as confusing it to as that is, the set design was fucking great. Yeah, it was great.
Speaker: Really good. The CGI was even pretty pretty fire, I'm not going to lie. It was not angry about the CGI at all. No. No. Like, they had a they had a budget, and they used it to the max.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, even like the space scenes with Galactus all that stuff didn't look terrible. Galactus, I think, looked really cool. He did. Was there enough of them, though?
Speaker: No. No, But they probably ran out money. um don't think they ran out money. It's but it's like... Galactus is the, like, you know, the destroyer of... The destroyer worlds. Like, you knew they weren't going to kill Galactus. you know what mean? Like, you can't kill Galactus. have whole money.
Speaker: Now, if they bring bro if they bring in... Who are they bring in to kill Galactus? No, no, You can't bring Superhero.
Speaker: um What? Who are they bringing to break to kill Galactus? The fucking Avengers, dawg. What are you talking about? They're all dead, Nick. What are you talking about, Jake? They're bringing in the Avengers, bro. It's the multiverse. None of them dead. They go to a different universe and bring them back, which really fucking stupid. Also, Jake, Galactus isn't the next villain.
Speaker: and We know who the next villain is. He's in the post-credit scene. yeah yeah yeah Yeah, but no. If you think they're not if you think the next movie is not going to have Galactus in I would disagree with that.
Speaker: He's going to be in it. You think they just pushed Galaxian in that fucking black hole and was like, oh. They said it's going to take millions of years to get him to get back to Earth. I have a some stupid feeling that it's going to be something with the Guardians of the Galaxy.
Speaker: Aren't they donezo? Yeah. Are they? to un Buddy. buddy Buddy boy. Where are you in the MCU, pal? ah Literally, we're starting new. We got the blob outside.
Speaker: ah yeah. And you were in the Air Monarchs. he I don't like the way he walks. He walks like Vince McMahon out to his entrance music. like Am I behind in the MCU? Bro, the only person I think that's like still around is Peter.
Speaker: Yeah. Peter? Well, Peter, Tom Holland took a break. Yeah, but he's still like, they're coming. He's coming. I am behind. What have you not seen?
Speaker: Guardians 3. Jesus. Or 4. Oh, well, that makes sense. Oh, okay. je Well, Avengers Doomsday, currently on Letterboxd, has Thor in the cast list. Anthony Mackie playing Sam Wilson, Captain America.
Speaker: Sebastian Stan. Latita Wright, who's Shuri from Black Panther. Paul Rudd's still hanging in there, apparently. so yeah? Has Ant-Man? Yeah. You got the guy who played Shang-Chi.
Speaker: You got ah Florence Pugh still. Haven't seen that movie. Yeah, i haven't seen Thunderbolts. Sorry, the new Avengers. David Harbour.
Speaker: Tom Hiddleston, Patrick Stewart. What are we doing here? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. whoa Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen. These are people from the old Johns.
Speaker: From X-Men. And they got Shane Payton as Gambit. Okay. And Winston Duke as M'Baku. That's fucking lit. That guy was great.
Speaker: We'll have to see. We got no big... I don't want to say no big players, but like the biggest dude in there is Thor. Yeah. They also recasted Robert Downey Jr. played Dr. Yeah, but it's a different universe.
Speaker: That's why it's okay. Yeah, but they're not going recast. Like what I'm saying is they're not going to like have an Iron Man because i'd be disrespectful. Well, I'm pretty i'm pretty sure it is Tony Stark though.
Speaker: Oh, as in Dr. Doom is Tony Stark becoming evil? In a different universe. Like, I'm almost positive that's what it is. That would make sense. But his casting, at least on Letterboxd, does say Victor Von Doom.
Speaker: So maybe not. So maybe Tony Stark legally got his name changed to Victor Von Doom. That'd be pretty dumb. gay But... I don't know. I kind of popped big for that credit scene.
Speaker: You popped big for that credit scene? little bit. He took his pants off and everything. It was crazy. Right next to Mahoimi. I don't know what I expected, but... That wasn't much of a... that I don't know. That wasn't much of a payoff for me.
Speaker: Doctor Doom's going steal the kid. Yeah, but like... Who is the kid? It's their kid, you fucking idiot. What are talking about?
Speaker: I know, but is he like a big comic here like character? or is i want well i want him to look that up. I have no idea who he is. I have no clue. I was like, who the fuck is this guy? I was like going through like super powerful beings. I'm like, it's not Adam Warlock.
Speaker: Well, like he was they were saying, what's his name? Galactus was saying he could fucking take all his hunger. So like, that's pretty crazy. Well, baby taking Galactus's dick?
Speaker: Nuts. That's I'm Wild. A Serbian film part two, Galactus and this kid. Yeah, but it's like the PG version. Yeah. Yeah. but That's what I'm saying. Like, who the fuck... Googling it.
Speaker: Jake's already Googling it, but Jake's not very good at Google.
Speaker: Franklin Richards. That's right. His name was Franklin. That's a non-mean name. Yeah. Yeah, me!
Speaker: Earth 616. Oh, that's stupid. oh Franklin's the little that little peanut from that book, right? What? It's that book or it's Arthur. it's not Franklin. Franklin's godlike abilities caught the attention. Yeah, fuck that shit.
Speaker: Fuck that shit. He's an omega level mutant with reality warping and molecular manipulation powers. Is he like Molecule Man or some shit? Capable of creating pocket dimensions and even rebuilding universes.
Speaker: Holy shit. bring back wendy Franklin is destined to survive beyond the end of time and become the next devourer of worlds. So his son's going to become Galactus. He's going to kill Galactus. Oh my god, apparently in the comics he beat Ultron? This kid's him.
Speaker: What, he beat Ultron as a baby? No. Who gives a fuck? Ultron's pretty weak. Ultron's kind weak sauce, bro. He had a whole story about he became the symbiote attached to him.
Speaker: That's pretty sick. That is cool. But Franklin was able to reject the symbiote thanks to his father and Spider-Man's help. Ooh, Dad. but Peter. Help me.
Speaker: Thank you, Father. yeah
Speaker: I will say I did. i don't think ah his name is Psy Lord. This is not really a popular opinion. I don't think I don't think there I don't think there was enough fight sequences in this movie.
Speaker: No, not at I agree. You get the one big one at the end and that's really it. But the middle to like most of the film is talking. Not that that's a bad thing because they are like moving the plot forward and you do get to like learn about these characters, which isn't a bad thing, but I would have liked to see the only like stretchy stuff we see Mr. Fantastic do is like when he's like reaching to grab something until like the very end. And that's like basically it. And like the thing, all the action, the thing has in this movie, you basically see in the trailer.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Almost besides the one scene where he's picking the car up for the kids. Uh, there's not much else that he does in movie. That's like, Oh, That's the thing like on full display. A lot of things you use ah Johnny Storm for which as you guys already pointed out he's kind of a weak sauce character.
Speaker: But like I don't mind the whole no action thing because they managed it to get it to work. Like I cared about the character like in the Avengers you know like there's really no like character development between characters that much.
Speaker: I don't agree with that. I see what you're saying though, Gerald. You're saying there's no character development in four Avenger movies? No, between characters. Yeah, I see what you're saying. they You have like you have like two character two characters, like have their path together, another two, but like all four of these... They formed a family bond.
Speaker: Yeah. Which is the point. I mean, they're supposed to be a family. Are we watching different things? You literally, the Avengers literally break up and have an all-out then rekindle their relationship to fight the biggest bad there was and save the gap like the entire universe.
Speaker: In Civil War?
Speaker: Yeah, Civil War is what I just said. In a war, right? They break up. They literally break up. The Avengers break up, right? That's what happens in Civil War. They pick a side. Yes or no?
Speaker: Yeah, but... And then they rekindle to stop Thanos. Yeah, but what I'm trying to say is this felt more based in reality. I'm going four star.
Speaker: A four star? Even I'm not giving it that high. Yeah, it wasn't like your stereotypical... like I mean, obviously, had the whole superhero thing, but it wasn't like a... It was cool to not have a superhero movie just all about the action.
Speaker: Like...
Speaker: I see what you're saying. It was cool to have a superhero movie where there's a human connection to them and not just... They're a superhero. Yeah. yeah um I'm giving it a three star.
Speaker: I know I haven't rated it on Letterboxd yet, but all in all, I don't think I really liked it. It's been a few days since we've seen it now. and i don't If you don't like it, three stars is a positive rating.
Speaker: Well, i don't yeah I don't hate it. I don't despise it. Like, I enjoyed the movie. I was definitely intrigued the whole time, but, like, it's not...
Speaker: I wouldn't go out of my way to see it again, which is what I would use a four star for. And see, Jake, you made a, what you said, that's, I guess what I was trying to say, but I wasn't saying it properly. A human connection.
Speaker: I got to him on a human level.
Speaker: I'm give it three and a half. It's pretty good. I like it. Because of three and a half, there's just been so much fucking slop this year. It's making my top five. For the year? Yeah, it's unfortunate. mean, bad are going this year.
Speaker: i want to hear about fucking Sinner Movies mid. People like oh they dance in a bar and it changes the game. No, it doesn't. Wow, a bunch of blacks. No, it fucking doesn't. It's literally fucking.
Speaker: Is it streaming yet? Sinners is a good, it's not max. Sinners is a good, it's a good movie. I just think it's fucking wildly overrated. Maybe I'll watch it. If you're bored and have time.
Speaker: Yeah. My time is about to go away. got to go back to teaching these damn kids. You're spank him or what? Nah, hard pass on that one. You're going to spank it to spanking him?
Speaker: Nah. I guess it's in my top five. i do work with a couple how you duns, though. Shout them if you're listening. They're not. They're not. They don't know you exist. By the way, I saw Happy Gilmore 2. don't know why did that.
Speaker: Huh? it was There was a few funny things in it, but majority of the movie sucked. Hmm. Yeah. I don't know why. That's like that's like ah the definition of a cash grab.
Speaker: Yeah. And Netflix put it out? Yeah. don't have any intention. Yeah. You have M&M's in it. I think Adam Sandler has a deal with Netflix.
Speaker: He does. all that that's where His movies don't go in theaters anymore. They go on Netflix. Yeah.
Speaker: Because Uncut Gems was good. Uncut gems. I also had a crazy dream this past week where I was at work with just my dick out and people and people were ah pointing and laughing me saying a small dick.
Speaker: but Wait, wait, wait. You missed the kicker that there was no women in the dream, just men. It was just dudes. Yeah, it was just dudes. They're like, yo, you small dick, man. And I was like, yeah, I know. And then me in the dream didn't decide to like pull my pants up, just had my dick out. What if you just like have pants around your ankles? Yeah, your dick's small, huh?
Speaker: Did you have pants around your ankles? I don't remember, Jake. It was a dream that I had like five days ago. Was it like a first person or were you like out here looking in? No, I've never. All my dreams are in first person. I've never ah had a third person dream.
Speaker: They're crazy. I just looked at the at a guy. like, your dick's small. And I was like, yeah. You just slapped it right on the grill. And then somebody else was fuck and then someone else was like, I just put in the pizza oven. And then someone else was like, yeah, your dick's really small, dude. And I was like, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: No one like your sack is big, just dick is small. well you you probably didn't make your sack big enough. I appreciate I mean, I thought my brain would probably make my sack bigger, but... I'm more concerned that there was no women in the dream.
Speaker: why are you concerned? I just said I want to fuck a guy for fun. Like we're learning more and more as we go here. Yeah. It's like Jake's also for Jake's also a closeted gay. he just doesn't know it yet. not though. That's the thing about being in the closet. You just don't know. I'm not though.
Speaker: Then shave your head. don't want anyone in my poop square. Jake, it's not a square buddy, but also yours isn't. Yeah. if your asshole is square shape, send us a picture.
Speaker: get like so you You really should go bald, Jake, and keep the beard. Just do it. It's a good look for you, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright. It's fine.
Speaker: Well, Hakob, thank you for joining us for an exciting episode of Two Guys. We appreciate you not falling asleep. ah We'll do a wrong one.
Speaker: Does that mean we're taking our peace out? My piece is out my dream. All right. So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com.
Speaker: Sex, Nick, man to man. Or don't. Or don't. I guess. gary Follow us. Real. Send me a picture. Yeah. Yeah. Follow us on TikTok, YouTube, Letterboxd.
Speaker: Send us a voicemail, 508. eight Fist us. 508. Dip tip. Six minute limit. Leave us a like. Leave us a comment. Check out all the podcasts. Yeah, you want it? Coming real soon.
Speaker: Yeah, you want it? There's fucking three of them all recorded in person, man to man. In person. Hopefully they come out okay. Next week is our one year anniversary. It's not coming out on Tuesday. It's coming out on Thursday.
Speaker: So if you haven't listened to this episode, like where's the two guys, one screen episode. Well, you weren't fucking listening, idiot. And get ready. Strap in and definitely strap on.
Speaker: Strap it on. Put up your own pooper if you want. Uh, we're not telling you movie we're reviewing, but it is a wild one.
Speaker: Thanks for all support. We'll do all that shit next week, but it going to be crazy. And if you liked our episode on the half blood prince, you're in for something fucking special.
Speaker: It's probably going to get even worse. I would say i would say based on what we selected, it's already worse. Yeah. don't know how we're going to talk about that without, I would say, I would say meat out. You know what I mean? You're going to spank it to that movie.
Speaker: Maybe I'll try. Spanking at that movie called Crazy. Yeah, it's unfortunate. and Jake might be back for another episode at some point. We don't know. Not that one. I'll guarantee that. Well, we don't want to have you on for that episode anyways.
Speaker: It's my interest in having you I'll probably be back on at some point. You probably will. Tyler, where you at? Fucking fake bitch. Yeah. What a piece of shit. Yeah, honestly. Couldn't even fucking get a camera.
Speaker: I got a mic and a camera. What are you doing, Tyler? You got a mic for this. you you have had mic Really? The mic's my dad's and I just borrow it for podcast? Shout out to your dad.
Speaker: Where the hell? what What are you doing, Tyler? We don't know. Write in, Tyler. Call us. Text us. Fuck us. Whatever you chiz. So we'll see you guys on Thursday.
Speaker: Toodles.
Speaker: Jake, say some Jewish shit. L'chaim. Goodbye, Jake. Fuck you, Mark, little bitch.
