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EP. 112 The Drama & Ready or Not 2: Here I Come (2026)
23 Plays20 days ago
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Transcript
Podcast Introduction and Humor
00:00:00
Speaker
I want to play football. Have you seen my dick? been looking for it.
00:00:07
Speaker
Sir, I'm going to rub one out right here on your counter.
00:00:11
Speaker
We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.
00:00:19
Speaker
I'm rinsing your girl out, bud.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hello, my name is Nick, and I have shaft hair.
00:00:27
Speaker
Call me Odell Beckham Senior, because I'm dad.
00:00:34
Speaker
want me to lick your bedpan, filthy skunk? We're just joking. Everything's jokes.
00:00:47
Speaker
Two girls, one cup? No. Two guys, one screen? Yes.
Patreon and Hall of Fame Episodes
00:00:53
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode 112 of the Two Guys, One Screen podcast, aka the hemorrhoid homies, the Poetown boys, the diarrhea daddies, we're straight up homos. oh We already did a take in, we lost the audio because my fucking the my mic to my computer is gay.
00:01:11
Speaker
i don't like that. It's okay. Oh, I got an eyelash my eye. Jumping in loop that I shave my face and look stupid and I do and I did it work together and that's what you missed.
00:01:23
Speaker
So here we are. i wouldn't say you look stupid. I just, I just prefer you with a beard. No, I think I look stupid. It's okay. You don't have to think that I do. It's fine. I sent a picture to my mom and my sister and my mom said, why would you do that?
00:01:36
Speaker
It's a fact. So thanks mom. That's pretty fucking cool. Isn't it? Yeah. i mean And shout out to my barber who I ask for a fade and then proceeds to just give me hair, then no hair. it's It's easier to see in the back than the sides. there's just like It's like a fucking... It's just like there's hair, then there's just... just You know? Yeah. Maybe. Is this a barber you normally go to?
00:01:57
Speaker
Yeah. um My boy Owen. Yeah. And he doesn't know how to do a fade? Not Owen Jock. I'm just making more work for myself in the and the edit. This is ridiculous. it's fine. sorry. No, he knows what he's doing. I just, I don't know. Some days he wears a bulletproof vest and I'm like, are you doing committing gang violence outside or what's going on?
00:02:14
Speaker
Yeah. not Are the buttons delayed for you too or no? I mean, i don't know when you clicked it, but. Okay. Well, that's weird. But we're here to, ah well, we've already made it further than the last recording. We're doing great.
00:02:29
Speaker
we're We're here to review. It's a double header. Double decker pecker record is what we call in this podcast. Shout out Brock Lesnar.
00:02:39
Speaker
Brock! um this is uh ready or not to here i come and yes i am coming and the drama this was initially going to be two different episodes but guess what it worked out for our favor yeah it did just we can just record one ep on the two of these and you can get a nice little hour of content and that's it so uh Before we get into those episodes, we did on the Patreon, plugging the Patreon, ah we decided to, we're going to create a Hall of Fame for our episodes, EPS that we feel, because we're not giving you the fucking right to vote. Fuck that. Right. That be disastrous. Human Centipede 2 would be in there.
00:03:20
Speaker
Yeah, we have we have voted ourselves ah in 11 episodes of the 111 that are out right now into the Hall of Fame. If you want to hear how we decided those, you can go subscribe to the Patreon. Patreon already heard that.
00:03:36
Speaker
Yeah, so no give us money. ah Maybe. yeah Give me money. Maybe next year, if we reach 100 Patreons, maybe we'll do a whole induction ceremony.
00:03:48
Speaker
we let We let the patrons veto or make one change. We've heard nothing from them yet. but However, they i you have until Friday. Well, Kyle, fuck Kyle. I don't even if know if Kyle can legally message us. You know what I mean? like yeah Yeah, he's made he's not paying. so we don't like your but His opinion is like less, unfortunately.
00:04:10
Speaker
But we still like you, Kyle. Thank you. Yeah, if you're listening, Kyle, we still like you because you listen to the podcast. But pay some money. $5? Come on. hey Buy an app. We're selling the apps individually, piece by piece.
00:04:23
Speaker
Anyways, if you're curious, well, what episodes made in the Hall of Fame? I'm going to tell you. And this is going to happen. We're going to this once a year, every April. And that's what it's going to be from now on.
00:04:34
Speaker
ah The terms and all the other shit. I don't think we should. You know what? Go listen to Patreon. You want to find out how we did it, how we how we built up the system to what it's going to be? Go to Patreon. Listen to it there. Terms and conditions may apply.
00:04:47
Speaker
Yeah. Pieces sold separately. ah First app we got is Bridge Terabithia. Wow. Mike Tyson. Bridge Terabithia. yo You like that movie? think A lot of kids talking and some vermin getting killed and shot.
00:05:03
Speaker
That bitch falls off a v log or whatever. What happens to her? ah shit' know she She falls off a swing, like a rope swing. and like drift in the creek yeah Yeah. Stupid bitch had it coming. Well, they don't go near the creek.
00:05:15
Speaker
Nope. Stay away from them. Next, we have our OG episode, Friday the 13th, part one. if you're like If you're sitting here thinking, oh, they covered the Friday the 13th episodes on the days that Friday the 13th came out, that's pretty cool. Yeah, we thought so too, but they suck. You know, not many of those movies are good.
00:05:36
Speaker
No, but we had a good time on the first one. But don't worry. We just got to get through one more shit and then we got a banger. It's like that one block constipated shit. just gotta push it out and then it's just smooth sailing. No, because then you only get one more good one.
00:05:50
Speaker
Damn it. Well... I like Seven, but it's very... ah David Fincher, like Seven too. Decisive. Yeah. Next we have ah Gremlins, an absolute banger.
00:06:05
Speaker
Go listen to Gremlins. We recorded three episodes that day and... One of them got in. Another one is still in contention for next year. Shout out Mr. Futterman. And the third one was the best of, which doesn't count.
00:06:19
Speaker
Unfortunate. Naughty boy. um Next we have Harry. Harry Potter won. The first one. The Sorcerer's Stone. If you owe me.
00:06:30
Speaker
Hopefully it's not a kidney stone. No. No.
00:06:35
Speaker
The next one ah is also Ahari. This is the Half-Blood Prince. Arguably, I don't think we've said wilder shit since then. I don't know. i mean um Polar Express, but you guys don't know about that one. Well, Polar Express is not allowed. That one's been banned.
00:06:50
Speaker
That one's at $500. If you want to go listen to it on Patreon, you can listen to the Polar Express. uh and then ah i mean i would also say the grinch but we bleeped enough of it out to where it's okay to be put out on the internet but maybe we'll put that out on patreon on yeah because the whole the episode's low-key ruined but like it's all right it's like the fly yeah like the fly yeah uh next one is pirates of the caribbean the what is it curse black pearls the first one yeah you remembered Yeah. You know, what if she's flicking her shit?
00:07:22
Speaker
Yeah. I mean that's a classic right there. Yeah. Stop in there. just I think about flicking shits all day. Every day. I think about you putting eye drops in your pussy hole with your legs up a lot. that's that was a mo That was a moment in time.
00:07:37
Speaker
I wish we could back and grab video. That would be great. I've tried. the seventh The seventh inductee is our episode on Killer Clowns from Outer Space. Arguably our best opening 20 minutes of an episode ever.
00:07:52
Speaker
i'd like Kind of weird because, yeah, that movie's like funny, but like it's not one that you think you would get as much out of. No, we just had a really good time. ah Next one, An American Werewolf in London. Again, kind of ruined, but if you want to hear the big part that got bleeped, go to Patreon because it's up.
00:08:10
Speaker
ah Is the full episode up or is it just in the top 10 censored moments? Just right now, just there, but we'll put it out. Especially because in honor of it going into the Hall of Fame, we'll just put the whole thing out.
00:08:21
Speaker
Fuck it. Yeah, um that was so funny. Honestly, one of them one of our best. Speaking of one of our best, the next one from our Christmas December themed horror month, we have Jack Frost.
00:08:31
Speaker
I mean, you can't be jacking your jack. jack Jack and I just want to say it all the time and I just can't. And my wife's getting fucked by Mac. That's what it is. do i mean Charlie boy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah um If you want to hear the full thing, go to Patreon. Absolutely. Not the full thing, but ah the the the censored moment. It's in there.
00:08:56
Speaker
One of our favorites. And then also we inducted Santa Claus. Santa Claus. Also, i mean, just a great app. I mean, we just went fucking wild. You just can't, like Christmas movies, kids movies, it's just yeah not safe. We just need to be banned.
00:09:14
Speaker
I mean, just Santa hand fucking elves is just crazy. That's just insane. It's nuts. But it's fine because they're like hundreds of years old. They are. They're all of age. And that little girl wanted a big. And that's just, that's how they directed the movie. That's not our problem.
00:09:31
Speaker
Yeah. Pull it out if you're big. That's what I remember you said that. Yeah, Scott, pull it out if you're big. um The next one is more recent, or the last inductee is more recent to you guys, but it was a Vault episode. It's Monsters, Inc. And we inducted that primarily for the last 30 minutes of that episode are literally fucking wild. It's such a good time.
00:09:55
Speaker
If you're a fan of snail trails, you got to go listen. Yeah, or weapons. You like that? Yeah, weapons. James P. fucking Sullivan.
00:10:08
Speaker
Yeah, so those are the 11 films. They're the their first ballot. Their first ballot Hall of Famers are in the Hall of Fame. There are a few that are eligible for second ballot next year. But again, you have to go to Patreon.
00:10:20
Speaker
Okay. Go check out that episode. Mixed bag. I guess it's episode eight. It was seven or eight. I don't know. Yeah. It's, ah it's, you know, it's going to be linked in the description. Yeah. You have to fucking click it and stick it in your bubble.
00:10:32
Speaker
It's just five bucks. Just five bucks. Yeah. It's $5. All we're asking for is, well, we're asking for less than $5 because Patreon takes a cut. Oh, that's true. Yeah. We're asking for less, but pat but you know Patreon is asking for $5. Not even us. You blame them. no Yeah. Patreon wants $5, not us.
00:10:49
Speaker
So those are your your first ballot inductees. Better luck next time for the rest of them. ah some of Some of them will get in there because, you know. We're good, but it's hard to do 111 bangers. It's just not going to happen.
00:11:03
Speaker
Yeah, I know. We're funny, but like yeah sometimes you have bad days. The movie doesn't produce. Anything can happen. Some days you go and see Keeper. Like, what the fuck did i just watch?
00:11:14
Speaker
Yeah. Other days yeah da just talk about kids' friends. If you know, you know.
Discussion on 'Ready or Not 2'
00:11:21
Speaker
Yeah, and show it hell. Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:24
Speaker
I know exactly what you mean. We're going to Ready or Not 2 first. Here I come. I'm coming. um Gerald and I end up going and seeing this together.
00:11:35
Speaker
a rare in-movie, in-person sit-down? We haven't done that since Blackphone. It was fucking cute. Blackphone 2? Better movie. Blackphone 2, definitely better movie. well That's why we saw a movie together. what well ah We'll spoil all this. The movie was shit, but we did have a good time making fun of a hi-yah headass, which was at least at least that was actually enjoyable.
00:11:58
Speaker
I don't know if you saw it, but after the movie... So we're big we're big on, you know, don't talk during movies. But I think we probably talked a little too much because the people like in front of us like got up after the movie and looked behind us and gave a stare down.
00:12:12
Speaker
I noticed that and I was like, I did not realize people were that close to us. Yeah. We were laughing pretty hard at, we were just saying stupid shit. It wasn't it wasn't even like, relevant content. No, was just dumb.
00:12:25
Speaker
It was just stupid. um But it does, I mean, I would say some of the jokes made does lean into the, they heavily stereotyped how much this movie is. It's like,
00:12:36
Speaker
The most stereotypical, like, let's have a person from every side of the world and they follow all the stereotypes from that region of the world, which is, ah i don't know, kind of lame?
00:12:47
Speaker
Kind of lame. I didn't know, like, the Hindus are fucking worshipping Satan now, too? i yeah I mean, i guess so. Yeah. I mean, what it's what it's going to be. This movie is directed by... guy?
00:13:01
Speaker
Yeah. Matt Bettinelli. ah Matt Bettinelli hyphen Olfen. And Tyler Gillette. Shout out Gillette Stadium, I guess.
00:13:12
Speaker
Yo, this you used do you use Gillette? I use Gillette. I don't shave that much, even though I just did. That's true. I don't shave very often. But what I do, I use Gillette. I use Gillette, yes. um i only It's only for you. adri Fuck the Patriots. Yeah, they're annoying. It's only for under here.
00:13:31
Speaker
Right. It's the neck. The neck area I shave. But, i you know, i decided to shave my whole face, which is that's what it's going to be. So here's the question, right? I know you have a manscaped, right? I do. it doesn't yeah like It doesn't get you fully smooth down there.
00:13:44
Speaker
Have you ever straight razored that shit? Have I ever used a razor on my nut sack? Yeah. Or like your upper... area i might have used a razor in my younger days but i would say it's been easily 10 years since i've even attempted that yeah i've never attempted it and i think i'm never going to attempt it because in my eyes it's just too risky it is smooth the problem is when it grows back it's real prickly right and like i ain't getting no hose so no yeah i'm doing it for myself
00:14:18
Speaker
Right, I'm doing it for other men. Yeah. um yeah Yeah. No, I just use... You want to suck my knob? Like, I'm clean. You're good. i'm Yeah, you want to fucking... You want to fucking ring my doorbell?
00:14:32
Speaker
I don't know. I would just say you know, the offer still stands you want to sex me man to man. It's out there still. You know, we're We're open to it. Don't worry. If the file's too big, it'll just send by... Send in Google Drive. Yeah.
00:14:49
Speaker
Instead of like... This person can edit view. It's like this person can suck, stroke, yeah lick, pole sniff, yeah aggressively grab. Who likes that?
00:15:01
Speaker
Stomp on my fucking dick and balls with a stiletto. Literally, whatever you're into, we we're we for it. ah This guy, Matt Bettellini-Dolphin-Face, has done a couple movies, actually. Believe it or not. He directed Scream...
00:15:17
Speaker
What is this, five? Yep. Five six. Five's great. Six. um Go listen to our stream episode. Abigail, I heard. i didn't hear great. i heard mid.
00:15:28
Speaker
I mean, he did VHS 1. I mean, VHS 1 is a banger. VH 1 is a big blind spot in my... VH 1? Yeah, Real Housewives. Did they say VH 1? Oh, shit. VHS 1. The VHS franchise, big blind spot in my watching.
00:15:48
Speaker
Pretty good. If you if you're into like jump scares and found footage. Isn't VHS... It's like Hispanic? or No. like It's like in Spanish some shit?
00:16:01
Speaker
Uh, you're correct. Oh. So why is this guy doing it? He's white.
00:16:08
Speaker
Maybe he's not white. i don't know. He looks pretty fucking white. He speaks Spanish? Or is that... Is there one down the road? That's Wreck. Wreck is in Spanish. There you go. Yeah. Good call. Screen Factory has a box set.
00:16:23
Speaker
Um... The other director is Tyler Gillette, which is how we went on that tangent, I just realized. He looks like Matt Stafford. He does a little bit. He looks like Downsinger and Matt Stafford. He's done the same exact movies. is Are they fucking?
00:16:36
Speaker
yeah if Are they the same guy? Co-creator, Filmmaking Collective Radio Silence, co-directed, The Devil's Due.
00:16:50
Speaker
Yeah, he co-directed all these movies together. I wonder if they are fucking. If they are, that's okay. You know? Yeah, it's fine. It's like not your fault that you're gay and make bad movies at the same time. You know? I mean, making bad movies is your fault.
00:17:03
Speaker
so That's definitely your fault. You do better. you get a pass on so You get a pass on Screen 5 and Ready or Not 1.
00:17:11
Speaker
Did they do Ready or Not 1, these guys? They did. ah so they came back to do a second one? So they came back to fuck up their own movie? That's crazy, man. Typically, you think somebody else would do it.
00:17:23
Speaker
ah Here is your cast list. We'll start off with Samara Weaving, who plays Grace McCulley. I mean, she's a fucking piece, no? She needs to get dicked.
00:17:36
Speaker
Okay. The buttons are definitely delayed today. i have yes Have you seen The Babysitter?
00:17:43
Speaker
No. Ugh. another Satan movie. Yeah, it's good. It's good. I'm putting on the watch list. i I think back in the day, it was like a Netflix exclusive when it first came out.
00:17:55
Speaker
This looks like a Netflix movie to me. But it's it's it's funny. It's decent, I promise. Who the fuck is Mick G? charlie Oh, he did the Charlie's Angels movie. He else also did Terminator Salvation and got fucking christian Christian Bale, didn't he? Yeah, he did. did John Connor.
00:18:12
Speaker
And Helena Bonham cars in Terminator Salvation? i didn't know that. Oh, maybe i'll have to watch that just to see her. Oh, Common's in it. Give me a break. Like the rapper?
00:18:22
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. ah Next we have, oopsie, I'm too far. Hold on. Working on it. Next we have Catherine Newton.
00:18:33
Speaker
She plays Faith McCulley, who is Grace's sister. oh my God. She shares a birthday with me. February 8th. Oh, shit. But a year before me.
00:18:44
Speaker
She's a year older than you, which means we can fuck the shit out of her. Yeah, we can. And she's getting it. Oh! She's the bitch from Freaky.
00:18:57
Speaker
i also I would also say ah she's in Lisa Frankenstein, which I talked about on an episode Yeah, You Want It. I think it's out. She is a fucking piece in that movie, specifically. i mean, she can get fucked in this movie, too, but she's a fucking piece.
00:19:12
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. She's also in Lady Bird, which is ah yeah my hot take. Lady Bird's over-fucking-rated. I'll just say it, you know? Everyone's going to hate me for saying that, but it's fine. It's just kind of overrated. She's in Bad Teacher. She's in Cockblockers.
00:19:26
Speaker
She's in Detective Pikachu, and Detective Pikachu fucks. It does fuck. We should do blockers. keep saying blockers and just don't do it. Yeah, we should. Maybe that that would be a good... If we ever started doing watch-alongs, that'd be good.
00:19:44
Speaker
Uh, okay. Who else we got in this list? So she's getting fucking dicked. We got Elijah Wood who plays the lawyer. I'm fucking a soul hobbit motherfucker. No? Yeah. For the clout at least. He's even that good.
00:19:57
Speaker
He looks like, he looks like Tony Hinchcliffe a little bit. Honestly. Yeah. Maybe Elijah Wood's gay too. I don't think Tony Hinchcliffe is actually gay, though. I think that's just like a joke he makes. Is that a bit?
00:20:08
Speaker
think he's straight, yeah. I don't care. i don't know what he is, but. Yeah, I don't like him. I look fucking fluorescent. You do? I'm fluorescent today. Holy shit.
00:20:20
Speaker
mean, yeah, that's fair. i mean, if you know Elijah Wood at all you'd know he was in the Lord of the Rings, all of them, as Frodo.
00:20:30
Speaker
And in the best movie of all time, Happy Feet. The best movie of all time, huh? Yeah, he was also in The Monkey. Go check out our review on that episode. And he was in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which, Gerald, I think you should watch.
00:20:43
Speaker
I still need to watch it. Oh, he was also in Toxic Avenger, the remake, and that movie's bad. Go check out our episode on that, which we both don't remember. No, that's how bad the movie is. Yeah.
00:20:55
Speaker
Next, we have Sarah Michelle Gellar, who plays Ursula Danforth. Um... Yes. She's getting fucked. She's getting fucked. She's the the one with the the brother?
00:21:06
Speaker
Yeah, she's the sister of the brother. Who are the kids of the father. Who are the kids of David Cronenberg? Yeah.
00:21:17
Speaker
Yeah. um Live action Scooby Doo. There you go, bro. That's it. That's you need to know. I know what you did last summer. And she's in Scream 2. Inch's in The Grudge, if you've ever seen The Grudge. Grudge is a good movie.
00:21:31
Speaker
I got to check out The Grudge. So what is this Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie she's in then? this Is this a different one that's not good? This is the live action 2007 one, right? this is Yeah, and this is no bueno. No, not live action. This is animated 2007.
00:21:44
Speaker
No, it's not great. Okay. Next we have seaunn Hatsy. Hatsy. hatosi you We have Sean.
00:21:57
Speaker
We have ah fucking the light version of Bobby Flay over here. This guy I'm not fucking this guy. Nah, he's like too old.
00:22:08
Speaker
But his character must have been a freak in the sheets, no? I mean, yeah. He goes from like chill to like hatein fucking deranged and like too quick. He's also in this movie called Alpha Dog, which not a lot of people have seen, I don't think. it's It's a solid film. I would recommend people checking it out. Is that Timberlake?
00:22:25
Speaker
It is. And it has ah Bruce Willis and Amanda Seyfried. And it has this guy, Sean. And it has Matthew Barry. Oh, wow. um Good movie. I would i i would recommend.
00:22:38
Speaker
It's a suspense movie. Uh, next we have David Cronenberg. It's more of a, um, cameo. Uh, and I'm throwing it back on fucking David Cronenberg. Big. Yeah. He's an ugly dude, but like, he plays Chester Danforth. I mean, go listen to our episode on the fly. We talk all about his films there.
00:22:58
Speaker
Uh, you mean He made a bunch of shit. Just check him out as a director. Fuck the acting credits. You know I mean? Yeah, don't don't watch anything he acts in unless he's in his own movies. Unless it's the fly where he's looking up Geena Davis' cooler. Besides that, that's a W. Shout out to David Cronenberg who put himself in that role. He's like, wow.
00:23:18
Speaker
Yeah, for a dream sequence, not even for a fucking... unreal No reason to be in the movie. He just wanted to see fucking Geena Davis' twat. I mean, but who doesn't? Who doesn't, right? He's like, let me get some clam, dude.
00:23:31
Speaker
um Next, we have Dan... Dan Burrini? Dan Burrini? I think it's Burrini. Why does he look like that guy in that meme where the guy's like, what the fuck? Yeah, he does.
00:23:44
Speaker
He's the nephew, right? He's the cause the annoying cousin that fell all the time. he's in ah He's in two movies that are super-duper indie, but I've seen I Used to Be Funny and I Like Movies. Recommend both those movies. They're both great.
00:23:56
Speaker
ah Both deal with some more serious mental health stuff, but they're good watches. I i know I Like Movies is on Amazon right now. I Used to Be Funny, I bought, and it's on an episode of Yeah, You Want It, which may or may not be out.
00:24:08
Speaker
I don't know. um We only have one more month banked if Yeah, you Want It. ah That suit might be going away for a while. ain't got no money.
00:24:19
Speaker
ah Next, we have Olivia Chang, who plays... i mean, I'm not even making this up. Oh my god. I didn't know that was her name. Wan Chen Ching.
00:24:32
Speaker
That's her name. um She is... I offer you the, ah what do you you call it? A truce almost? She wanted them to marry her son? Marry him so like you don't have to like die or- My son, gets good grade. He gets 30 on ACT.
00:24:49
Speaker
These are the jokes we're making. I mean, she literally showed up wearing a geisha and a fucking samurai sword. I mean, could you make it any more stereotypical? No. You know what mean? I kind of like Asian women, so I'm probably fucking her. I'm in. you know who doesn't like Asian women is Jake.
00:25:03
Speaker
sticking with brother he's gonna call him like why'd you say that about me on the podcast like you don't find them attractive yeah right um i guess the next person is the person that plays her son in the movie aunt anthony anthony hall plays one Wong Chang Fu. We're just going skip that guy.
00:25:29
Speaker
Next, we have Varun Sarangha. Where is the... We don't have the button today. We don't have it. Oh, hello. He played... this He's he's ah a bystander. He's a cousin.
00:25:42
Speaker
He's a cousin who's watching. He's watching all the dick and downs. And he sacrifices his wife to the game and then not Triple Triple H just comes in and starts fucking pedigreeing.
00:25:55
Speaker
Bro, I would definitely let Triple H fuck my wife if I had a wife. Oh, yeah. But I don't know if I'd do it now because he's bald. He's got to have the hair. He's got to grow the hair. also Also, his legs are real small. It's kind of creepy. Yeah, right? like Yeah. like Well, he has like a heart condition, so he can't really work out as intense as he used to.
00:26:13
Speaker
Yeah. ah Okay, well well, I'm just going to blast through the rest of these people because this is just too much. Next, we have Masa Lizdek, who is Martina.
00:26:25
Speaker
I think this is the the aforementioned... don littleo His wife, who he sacrifices, and she's a fucking piece. Yes.
00:26:38
Speaker
Then we have Nestor Carbonell, who plays Ignacio El Cailo. This guy was the dude from The Dark Knight. That's what I know him from. That's, I think, all know him from, yeah. And he's in Imperium where Harry says the N-word, which is ah mid-movie, unfortunately. I fell asleep.
00:26:57
Speaker
Yeah. Is there anybody else in here that we really need to shout out? I feel like the answer is no. Absolutely not. um Yeah. So, I mean, this movie is, it takes place seconds after the first one.
00:27:12
Speaker
Seconds. Literally takes place. It opens at the end. It opened at the end and essentially they were like, you know what? We had a good thing. We're going fucking ruin it. We had a great wait a great thing and we're just going to make this unnecessary sequel, which is just the world we live in nowadays, of unnecessary sequels.
00:27:30
Speaker
ah And I guess, I guess, I suppose the sister, Grace's sister Faith and her had a falling out years ago because Grace wanted to go to college and that's what you're upset about?
00:27:44
Speaker
Seems to be. you will she abandoned her. That's what it was. Yeah, but yeah that's those are her words, right? It's like... It's like you literally were in, as Grace says, you were in a safe home.
00:27:59
Speaker
You know, you weren't getting abused by your parents, whatever, whatever. And she's like, well, I could have went with you. And she's like, you're 15, bro. What are you talking about? Yeah. Like, why don't you like join me after you're done high school?
00:28:11
Speaker
This whole link back up. I don't even it's not even like a problem that like you want to add in like a sit a long lost sister or whatever. But it's just like the reason they split. It's just like, are we out of ideas?
00:28:23
Speaker
Well, i think that's, I felt that was the whole sister plot was because they ran out of ideas and they needed to make a sequel. Yeah. Also, it's just like, I guess if she just like fought more guys and women by herself, by herself it would just be kind of like whatever of a movie. So they're like, let's add another person in, like you're saying.
00:28:42
Speaker
But like the whole falling out kind of makes no sense. It's like, yeah. The sister's literally useless though. Like in the movie. The sister is only used towards the end to leverage grace from for what happens at the end of the film.
00:28:57
Speaker
She'll get the shit kicked out of her for yeah like 15 minutes straight. Yeah, she gets her fucking yeah her shit wrecked by that guy, by by Ripoff Bobby Flay. Titus is his name in the movie?
00:29:10
Speaker
Yeah, Titus. He was getting low-key rapey, and I'm like, what? He was getting weird. Yeah. I mean, like the next thing he's going be doing is the last house on the left eight, you know? Yeah. Or it's just like, or I spit on your grave or some shit.
00:29:25
Speaker
But I mean, it's a twat. That's my favorite. It's twat. Fucking hot twin that shit first. Yeah. I... the So essentially, there's like a larger council whatever because the other family, the Dumas, the Le Dumas, because they lost this trigger as a whole event where all these major families have to come in and hunt this lady because they all believe in Satan or whatever. But I honestly felt like it was it was way more interesting at the beginning when she's like, look, man, these Satan worshippers got me and they all exploded because they didn't kill me by the end of the night.
00:29:59
Speaker
And everyone's like, not. That didn't happen. This fucking bitch. Can you believe her? That was an interesting plot point. And they kind of just like dropped that for them to escape the hospital and then get captured again by the Hobbit.
00:30:13
Speaker
He's like, where's my ring? See, what to do with my ring? Why did they have to play hide and seek again? Why couldn't have been like another game? you know why couldn't they have done something different like i don't know how you would do it but like follow the leader like some dumb shit like that you know what i mean you're like spin the bottle whatever it lands on you got to give them a kiss yeah you got to give them a fucking tongue down yeah hopefully it's in on samara weaving yeah right or like seven minutes in heaven yeah oh they just lock they just lock them in a closet for seven minutes it's just it they have to fight you have to fight in a closet yeah
00:30:49
Speaker
It's like the new thing. that It's not even new anymore, but it's kind of new. It's like the car jiu-jitsu. It's like they're in a You've got to fight each other. Yeah, it's like that. That shit's kind of sick, though. It is kind of sick. But that's like very not a movie. but No. Have you seen Professional Tag?
00:31:04
Speaker
I've watched clips. Yeah, it's crazy. That shit's insane. That shit's nuts. I didn't know you'd get that good at playing tag. That's crazy to me. oh Yeah.
Social Commentary and Movie Stereotypes
00:31:12
Speaker
No, I agree in that on that too. I don't know if it really was hide and seek. It was kind of like, we're going to just drop you on this golf course that has no place to hide and going to hunt you.
00:31:20
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, that's not really hide and seek. That's like...
00:31:27
Speaker
there's a dust There's a dust particle like floating. Yeah, it was like floating at my face. There's a guy outside who I would guess is down on his luck.
00:31:38
Speaker
Oh, yeah? It doesn't look too hot. Who the fuck is that this building? I don't know. Give him a kiss make him feel better, you said? Yeah. ah Yeah, so I mean, you think it's going to just be like, oh, she's got to just beat all these dudes and ladies, I guess, right?
00:31:56
Speaker
It's kind of the same thing. And then there's this weird twist. Are we calling it a twist? Different direction, left turn. Different direction. not a twist. They just decided to do a whole new movie.
00:32:10
Speaker
Like, we're going this way. The last 15-ish minutes are just a whole different movie. And you're like, is this movie having an hour left in? and Like, what's going on right now? Essentially, they leverage the... They capture the sister and leverage Grace. And she locks herself in a walk-in.
00:32:25
Speaker
In a fridge. Which, bitch, you're wearing in fucking a wedding dress. You're going to die in there. like Yeah, you're going to get hypothermia for sure. And... She wants to marry the she agrees to marry rip off Bobby Flay because ah the that agent bra was like, look, if you marry my you marry my son, i give you everything.
00:32:44
Speaker
And then she doesn't have to get hunted anymore. But then she has to participate in the game on the opposite side. and She's like, fuck that. But then she agrees to marry him because they're going to kill the sister, which and fuck your sister at this point. Right.
00:32:59
Speaker
Also, their whole fight, the whole reason why they split up in the first place was fucking stupid because Grace had, like, no reason to be upset with her about anything. She's like, i just fucking saved your ass, bro. And Grace has, like, this dumb overreaction to, like, a very minor minor, minuscule thing.
00:33:15
Speaker
ah She's very stupid. So then they're going to get married. And it's just like the wedding is just the most drawn out fucking thing you ever seen in your life.
00:33:27
Speaker
And then the guy is just like real rapey with it. You know?
00:33:34
Speaker
it's just like she's walking down the aisle like this movie is going to be on for the like fucking half hour. 40 minutes. We got at least. Sure felt like it. But then she turns the tables and she just kind of like she marries this dude and then just stabs him in the throat with a A what? What was it? Something.
00:33:53
Speaker
It was some kind of... Was it a pen? Maybe he was a pen. Just through his throat couple times. You know, the pen that they had to do like the whole so ceremonial ritual thing with? did They had to cut their little little hands?
00:34:03
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, with the fake blood? In It. the end of Were they kills in any good in this movie? I don't even fucking remember anymore. There was one good kill. They put the guy like in the dryer or washer or something and put that shit on Spin Cycle.
00:34:17
Speaker
That shit unsanitized. Yeah. They cleaned them out big. Yeah. ah That was good. i agree with that. And the rest them were just kind of like, eh. Even just fake blood. A bunch of explosion CGI blood.
00:34:30
Speaker
Yeah. And that whole like dual fight scene where like the sister's fighting the rapey Bobby Flay guy and she's fighting the... It's not the agent. It's the wife. Some random lady.
00:34:42
Speaker
They both got pepper sprayed in the face. Even was just like... it was I thought it was kind of funny, but like... Dragged out. Way too long. No, I didn't like it. It was a forced humor. Very forced.
00:34:53
Speaker
Yeah, i mean, the first one was kind of like a comedy. Yeah, but that one works. This one felt like they're just like, we're just going to shove this down your throat. Yeah, and this is no knock on Samara Weaving because she like hopped into the character like, you know. Yeah.
00:35:07
Speaker
Right back into it. Am I wrong? This movie came out 10 years later? Eight years later? No. Like four, five, six. Came out in 2019, the first one. twenty nine Yeah, I mean, six years later, it is kind of crazy to just put this out now. I don't know.
00:35:23
Speaker
It just seemed like no one needed it. one wanted it. We want to do a scene by scene on the first one. We just didn't get to it. So, yeah, they get married and there's the whole there's the. She essentially just like I'm giving this up. It's crazy. They bring in Elijah Wood for a movie that essentially revolves around a ring that controls all.
00:35:41
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, funny. That's probably why they did it, right? They had to have known. Yeah, it's just like, hey, Elijah, we have this movie where Ring controls everything. He's like, really? i mean We're remaking it?
00:35:54
Speaker
Is Andy Serkis coming back? Yeah. Do I get to fuck that little doll-looking thing? Christopher Lee's dead. i don't know. Yeah, RIP to a legend. Yeah. Yeah. ah And then, ah I mean, essentially, they all blow up because they didn't kill her.
00:36:10
Speaker
And then that's her and the sister repair their relationship, which wasn't shouldn't have been very fractured to begin with. No, but there was a gold. There was a fucking God. And they just walk the go right out of there. Yeah, you're right. That's right. Because, you know, Satan is like sacrifice goats.
00:36:24
Speaker
um But this goat lived at times. Yeah. You know, think a lot of a lot of ah maybe Jake will tell us ancient civilization just sacrificed fucking goats and whatever the fuck else animals. That's not right, man.
00:36:37
Speaker
You know what's crazy is they had that whole, this is a random poll. In Narnia, they sacrificed Aslan, the fucking the the lion. That's a kid's movie. That's crazy to do in a kid's movie, no?
00:36:48
Speaker
That's little Disney. They just stabbed his ass. Yo, I had someone tell me that the Narnia franchise was better than Harry Potter.
00:36:58
Speaker
I mean, what are we talking about? like Literally, what are we talking about? There's one good movie, and then that's it. Yes, 100%. What is the dude's name? ah This is a movie podcast and I always blank on this guy's name. James McElroy? Yeah.
00:37:20
Speaker
He's fucking half-gut. see ah Mr. Tumnus? Yeah. I like the first one. It was very traumatizing as a kid, though.
00:37:32
Speaker
was scary as fuck as a kid.
00:37:35
Speaker
Especially because it starts and they're getting bombed by Nazis. Well, yeah, but I don't know. is There's something about that World War II setting that really makes a movie for me.
00:37:46
Speaker
Something about the fucking Jews getting cooked. Somebody does it for me. Something about mass genocide really gets me in the mood. Yeah, you know, shout out to the fucking Nigerians. I'm just kidding.
00:37:58
Speaker
Have you heard about that? No, what's happening over in Niger? they're just They're just killing Catholics. Anybody who's Catholic just getting fucking destroyed. That's what's happening right now. That makes sense. First the Jews, now the Catholics. Yeah, you know, it's all about religion all the time. For
Introduction to 'The Drama'
00:38:12
Speaker
God, it's not real. It's so silly. Like, who's going to tell people is God's not real? Yeah. Wait, what are they going find out? Yeah, someone needs to tell them.
00:38:20
Speaker
Yeah. But yesterday, I was risen up because he has risen, you know, on Easter. It was Easter, yeah. I put the risen risen. You know what I mean? i gotta I got a gift sent to me yesterday, not the one that I i showed you, which was crazy. That was disturbing.
00:38:34
Speaker
ah
00:38:36
Speaker
It's a... little dude and his little penis comes up. A little piece pops out. it's It's a drawing. It's not a fucking actual man. He is risen. and the And the piece has a little face on it.
00:38:48
Speaker
That's really cute. And I was trying to think of a ah joke for my piece having a face on it, but I couldn't think of one. Maybe for Halloween one year. Maybe for Halloween. I'll just draw a little dot next to my pee hole. Two eyes.
00:39:01
Speaker
No, just a a red dot. A red dot. Yeah. Start flinging it around. Yeah. You think I got enough dick to fling it around? You ever see like those ah those like head massage videos where the guy's like...
00:39:13
Speaker
That's crazy, huh? It's like uncomfortable, bro. was like, that guy's like rubbing his fucking armpits and shit. We talked with that on some episode that I didn't get much context to, but it was fucking. Yeah. But you could do that with your dick.
00:39:24
Speaker
I would love to do it. My dick. Yeah. i I ain't got meat like that. I got think i ain't got soft meat like that. Me neither. Yeah. It's not tender like that. yeah my so My sack came crazy though. My sack is long as fuck. We already know that.
00:39:39
Speaker
Uh, ah What are you getting ready or not to? We didn't even get there. We just started. I was going to ask you that question. I'm giving it a straight up to movie shit. yeah Yeah. Yeah.
00:39:51
Speaker
That's where I was at. Yeah. I mean, another life, another live 2026 release. That's just not very good. Are we surprised? A little bit. Are we surprised? I'm surprised about the next movie we're going talk about, actually. I just went to rate it on Letterboxd, and then it gave me a fucking trailer for the movie.
00:40:09
Speaker
Don't do that. For which movie? Ready or Not 2. Don't do that. ah
00:40:16
Speaker
But now we get into a real movie. We're gonna review the drama right after this ad break. Hello, you're now in an ad read. Gerald's sick of regurgitating the same lines at the beginning and the end of the episode. So here we are in the middle.
00:40:30
Speaker
So here's one one nice ad read to check all our shit out. plug it damn plugin So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod, send any comments, concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com.
00:40:44
Speaker
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00:40:59
Speaker
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00:41:10
Speaker
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00:41:22
Speaker
And then go listen to our physical media podcast. Yeah, you want it? Available on the same page. Do you fucking want it or not? And before we end this ad read, shout out to Jackson Behavioral Health. All this will be linked in the description below.
00:41:40
Speaker
Click it and stick it. And now back to the episode. We're here. We're back after that delicious ad read to review the drama, which just came out.
00:41:52
Speaker
It's directed by Christopher. This is definitely a fucking German. ah Christopher Borgli. Look what he directed. He directed Dream Scenario, which I got to tell you, dude, i don't know if you've seen Dream Scenario, but the filming of the drama really reminded me of Dream Scenario, and I didn't know he directed it.
00:42:13
Speaker
ah One of the times where I came to see you, you were watching it and you halfway through. So I didn't see any of like the actual dreams that these people were having. I just got I saw the end of the movie.
00:42:24
Speaker
Right. So I was lost. ah You can definitely tell this is a Christopher Borgley movie, though, the drama. It definitely looks like that a lot. I would say based off just seeing dream scenario, he definitely has a has a style, I would say.
00:42:38
Speaker
ah Here's your your cast. I believe this is our first Zendaya film. Yeah, I think so. Ever on the pod? Also, we're going to spoil the movie. It's probably a good movie to go in blind with because I didn't know about the big thing. Did you?
00:42:55
Speaker
No, no, but the trailer doesn't say anything, which is awesome. It doesn't say anything. Awesome. Yeah, you should definitely go see this blind. Big blind. Go in like you're Stevie Wonder. Just don't, you know. Don't even look. Just walk right into the door and then sit in the fucking wheelchair seats and then inevitably get fucking beat up by a paraplegic.
00:43:15
Speaker
I mean, if you're fully abled and you're getting beat up by a paraplegic, that's fucking shameful. Yeah. but Some guy in the wheelchair is beating you up. Or woman. I i do i one one quick ah theater experience, right?
00:43:29
Speaker
Yeah. I was packed. I didn't go to Regal. Where'd you go? I got a real ticket. Yeah. And I went to that that one that I'm not going probably say the because it's very close to my house. I was going to say, it'd come with one if you got a real ticket. Yeah. It's only one theater that lives in the fucking 1980s still. Yeah. But it was, I bought the ticket online, right? Yeah. But you still have to go to the ticket taker. They scan the QR code and they give you this. Yeah. Like we're still far behind. Yeah. um
00:44:00
Speaker
It smelled. um I'm sure it did. the The chairs were very uncomfortable. And probably old. Old. Yep. yeah Only certain movies got the recliner seats. Yeah.
00:44:12
Speaker
Like the Mario movie had the recliner seat. This one didn't. The screen was actually really clear, but there was some dirt up in the top right corner that really was bothering me. Yeah.
00:44:23
Speaker
But it was only $7. So... So if you're an old theater in the area and you got a dirty screen, maybe you should clean that shit. Maybe clean it a little bit, all right? And like, because the people working there were definitely like...
00:44:38
Speaker
high schoolers. Right. And they for sure didn't want to be there. And I wasn't very tempted to buy any food and or beverage from there. Cause I just didn't know. Right. I was going to come out.
00:44:48
Speaker
No, my theater was fucking packed. I actually had a little, d it was me and three women. I had a fully booked out theater, like full.
00:45:02
Speaker
I was sitting next to people, which I don't like doing. I don't like that. No. I have this thing that happens to me a lot. What are you drinking, by the way? I've never seen that logo before. What is that? Oh, it's weed.
00:45:14
Speaker
You're drinking weed? Yeah, root beer, cola. Okay. yeah um I have this thing that happens to me a lot. happens to me on planes, too, where I sit down. i rio or At AMC, when you book your thing online, or Regal, you know going be sitting next to or not, for the most part.
00:45:30
Speaker
I usually do it as close to my showtime as possible. so Yeah, so you know. So I know. So mine said that there would be two-seat gap, and then ah like a lot of people, right? So I book...
00:45:45
Speaker
No, i don't want to talk to you. um Fucking stupid. So I'm sitting there and I got there. I thought I got there late. I was like kind of because there was some traffic in Boston. That's what it is. I went to AMC because I missed their showtime because it doesn't matter.
00:46:02
Speaker
yeah um I missed multiple showtimes, actually. ah I went and saw it and ah I'm sitting there and it's like the...
00:46:13
Speaker
Lights go down. The movie is like started. Like probably. Oh, first I get there and someone's in my seat. I go, I'm in this seat. And she's like, you are? And I was like, yeah.
00:46:25
Speaker
Yeah, just showed you your phone. Hey, this N9? Yeah, I'm sitting here. This is my Get out of here yeah or Yeah. And she was a non-mean. I want to fight her. But I was just like, you know, yeah, yeah. I'm an Not you. out of here. Have you seen those videos where the guy has a leaf blower and he blows up their fucking weaves?
00:46:45
Speaker
No. He runs up behind people and just blows their fucking weave off. It's fucking great. It's so funny. You're just street with the fucking leaf blower like an idiot. just turns it off and blows people's weaves off. You gotta send me that shit.
00:46:58
Speaker
um Anyways, so there's ah there's a non-mean in my seat. I kick her out. Send her to the back. Even though I'm already sitting in the back. i sorry there rales ah So then it's the movie's on now. I'm like sick. I got two seats.
00:47:12
Speaker
And these two people show up once the movie has started. Like it's already on and sit next to me. it fucking sucks. I hate that shit. yeah ah But it does it is nice to know that a theater as big as... like It was a big theater because new release. It could fill the fuck up. like It was full.
00:47:28
Speaker
Yeah, and was it a lot of probably women and their boyfriends and shit like that? I mean, the lady next to me was like... Picture like a liberal woman who lives in Seattle. That's who i was sitting next to.
00:47:39
Speaker
Yeah, because I feel like this was very...
00:47:44
Speaker
Pushed as like a... Just another romance movie. It says romance comedy on the description, which I don't think I agree with. It's a dark comedy.
00:47:55
Speaker
I think this is like straight up. I listened to this podcast. but so We have other genres that maybe we don't utilize enough. There's like horror and there's thriller. What about suspense just being its own genre of movie? Because this is like a suspense movie.
00:48:09
Speaker
You know what I mean? Yeah, it's like a teak it's like a pot on a stove, you know, and it's just boiling up over time. Right. Yeah. ah i like ah Like we just said, you got to credit the trailers. They give you nothing.
00:48:25
Speaker
not Nothing. I mean, you have an idea, right? When you go in and then it's like, oh, this is not even close to what I thought it was going to be about. This is a little old. Because in the trailer, I'm like, this just looks like some generic fucking. Yeah. Romance movie.
00:48:39
Speaker
Yeah. But the thing that really kind of, because we were talking about it, if we were going back forth, we were going to review it or not. And just something about like Robert.
00:48:50
Speaker
This girl's name is Yaya. Yeah. oh I just looked down at the cast and it says Yaya Gosselin. kind of fucking name is that? As we get into the cast, ah there's just something like Robert Pattinson just doesn't seem like the type of guy to just do like a generic romance movie, you know? No.
00:49:09
Speaker
he isnn't he I mean, his filmography is not, I don't think any of it's generic. No, yeah he just does like kind of not outlandish, but a little bit. I think the later you go into his filmography, which obviously this is not going to hold up, it's just there's more peculiar movies. I know he just was fucking Batman, but like besides that.
00:49:27
Speaker
But hit he's slowly becoming one of my favorite actors. Like this guy is just fucking cooking, cooking big. Also, he's just someone who's gotten hotter as he's gotten older. Like, I don't it makes sense. You know, like, I think he's hotter now than when he was in Twilight.
00:49:43
Speaker
Yeah. You know what mean? Like he he's hot. He's a hot dude. Like I'm fucking that dude. yeah It almost sucks that he was in Twilight. You know, like I feel like i feel like that's almost like the stain on his legacy now.
00:49:57
Speaker
No, to me, it's Mickey 17. That was a fucking abomination. Yeah. Fuck that. Oh, wow. That smells horrid. Okay, but let's go. Okay. Dude, I've been having this thing where I've been taking like, I've been having small farts, but they're putrid. They're like, like, ah you think it's not much, and then it's like, the smell really fucking hits.
00:50:18
Speaker
I've been pooping a lot. Yeah. Like a lot. Oh, he's going to be in the Odyssey, Robert Pattinson. Oh, okay. That's he. He's cooking. Anyways, what were you going to say? Yeah.
00:50:29
Speaker
I've been pooping a lot, but it's like pellets and then log and then more pellets. But it's really fucking my roids. I've been telling. Like bad, bro. mys I was telling my sister because she's a nurse and I always want her clinical diagnosis of my poops. She says I overanalyze them, but it's what it is.
00:50:51
Speaker
I've been having this thing like my butthole is like a chef. It's like, it I'll shit pellets, and that's like the base. And then you have like a nice log on top, and it looks like a plate of food. like Oh, wow.
00:51:02
Speaker
It looks like it's like peas with a hot dog on top. So you um so like not ah like, now you're plating in like the toilet. I'm plating with shit. Yeah. yeah Right. It's crazy. I don't know.
00:51:14
Speaker
Like, I respect the dedication to your craft. I don't Scoob. I don't like Scoob. He's taking his job, and now he's shitting it out. Like Scoob, that's like a masterpiece of a shit, man. ah What was I gonna say about? I was gonna say something else about, not about shitting.
00:51:33
Speaker
don't know. It's called cast list. We're going the cast list. I think Zendaya, this is our first Zendaya film on the pod on the body. So I, here's my thing, right? Low key. The only thing I've ever seen her in is Spider-Man. Cause I haven't seen any of the dunes. I haven't seen challengers.
00:51:51
Speaker
Yeah. So it's just Spider-Man. You just gotta do better. And I've never watched euphoria. Yeah. Neither have but I don't watch shows. But this bitch is a horny. In this movie, and she gets dicked in that movie, or in that show too, I'm pretty sure.
00:52:04
Speaker
challengers there's there Challengers, there's definitely some horny scenes. Challengers is a bit more horny than ah than this movie is. okay But you're in luck, because she's casted in Shrek 5. Oh boy, what kind of horny things will she bring to that movie? Let's go. ah i mean, she's getting fucked. No, this isn't even a question?
00:52:21
Speaker
Yeah, she I mean, she's just something.
00:52:26
Speaker
There's really something about her that's really just fucking... Yeah, she's two years old than us. You know what I think it is? you didn't see You didn't want to shake it up as a kid? i don't think so.
00:52:37
Speaker
Okay. I didn't either. you know what I think about it with her is? What? Like, she's not, like, overly hot. No, I know. We've talked about it. She's not, like... Low-key just kind of looks like a person.
00:52:49
Speaker
Low-key looks like a person. You know what I mean, though? Like, a generic, like... Whereas, like, Robert Pattinson is like, that guy's a model. Yeah. Yeah, that guy could shit my chest. ah and Anyways, she plays Emma.
00:53:04
Speaker
Emma Hardwood. yeah the ah Robert Pattinson plays Charlie Thompson.
Plot Twists and Ethical Implications in 'The Drama'
00:53:15
Speaker
Next, we have Alana Haim. ah look Look, bro, I know what you're going to say, bob I'm telling you I'm fucking her. don't care. I'm not fucking her. o All right. Well, she was in she's in licorice pizza, and I'm fucking her licorice pizza, too. I don't know what it is.
00:53:30
Speaker
Her face looks like it got like hydraulically pressed. Like, there's something wrong here. I'm fucking it. um I'm up in there. I don't care. well um'm We're not going give her the button if we disagree, but I'm fucking it.
00:53:43
Speaker
ah Yeah, PTA's Licorice Pizza. Also PTA's One Bow After Another. And she was also in The Mastermind. Check out my rant on that in the end of the year awards we gave. I think that was Silence of the Lambs.
00:53:54
Speaker
I don't remember. One of the end of the year episodes we did. I fucking want rant about that movie. um Next we have Mamadou. that how you say it? ma Yeah.
00:54:06
Speaker
Mamadou. Mamadou Affey. He plays Mike. everybody Everybody's got last names. He's just Mike. Uh, he plays Mike. He was in kinds of kindness. Shout your ghost, your ghost, your ghost, Lanthimos. That's your guy, right?
00:54:23
Speaker
Yeah, that is my guy. Uh, I don't know him, but this is your guy elemental movie. You constantly shit on. hate that movie so bad. Yep. Uh, and that's what dominion. Is that what that one is? I hate that movie so much. I got a text message the other day. Let me read you this text message real quick. I got speaking of that movie.
00:54:42
Speaker
Um, Jurassic World Dominion is a crazy ass movie. I didn't answer it. I just left it alone. That was a real text that I got. Like it just shouldn't have been made. Like there's that.
00:54:55
Speaker
Like it's crazy ever got made. Yeah. ah I don't think I'm fucking Mike either.
00:55:04
Speaker
Did you think, by the way, when the movie starts that he's just like a gay friend that Robert Pattinson has? Yes. And then has he has a girlfriend, whatever, and it's like, whoa. Rachel. Yeah, the Rachel bitch. that's Rachel, where is she?
00:55:17
Speaker
Where is she? I smushed her face.
00:55:23
Speaker
I shot her dang out of the ghetto.
00:55:27
Speaker
Next we have Zoe Winters who plays Francis. Who the fuck is Francis? I don't even recognize. Oh, she's the other person at her job that Emma tells. She's like, yeah, just tell just tell ah just tell Rachel she's off the gig.
00:55:44
Speaker
She's like the third employee in the little cubicle area. Yeah, that's her. Why is she so high up on here? Yeah, she ain't getting fucked. No. She ain't fucking it. Next we have Hayley Benton Gates who plays Misha. I'll i'll be honest. She's getting fucked in the movie.
00:55:59
Speaker
This picture endur' picture is really disgusting. Yeah, she looks like an ugly ram of stone. Yeah, but she's also Challengers. She's in Marty Supreme. Marty Supreme, great movie. Go check it out. And she's in Uncut John's.
00:56:13
Speaker
ah Next, we have Jordan Current, a.k.a. School Shooter. um Not her personally, but you know what I mean.
00:56:25
Speaker
We're going just bleep all that and put on the Patreon. She plays younger Emma. Then we have... ah I mean, the rest of the people are not relevant, I would think.
00:56:38
Speaker
Not at all. Uh...
00:56:44
Speaker
I mean, there's not even credits for like the parents or anything. They were barely in it. Yeah. But I mean, it's a pretty tight cast. You really are with the the couple for the majority of the movie.
00:56:55
Speaker
I mean, basically all of the goddamn movie. But... ah you know the essentially they are engaged to be married.
00:57:06
Speaker
And I have to be honest, up until the scene where like their taste like the conversation happens, up until that moment, you're kind of like, ah Like, where's this going? I'm kind of lost.
00:57:17
Speaker
and they're having dinner together. what is this about? just seemed like things I've been through already. Yeah. oh man Oh,
00:57:30
Speaker
R.I.P.? ah oh Like, R.I.P. future married life. I was going to say, did she die? Because we need the likes.
00:57:41
Speaker
that That's really fucked up. awesome I think you would have known about that one. This is a ah massive spoiler. Big, big spoiler. This is what we're going to say it. And it's just, you get, you just, if you don't, if you want to see the movie, my t-shirt blends in with the wall. So that's embarrassing.
00:57:59
Speaker
wanna See the movie, go see it. It's a very good movie. We're giving you a warning. Cause you, this is the rest of the episode is not listenable. Okay. Yeah. You're out or fast forward to like at the end when we just fuck around, um,
00:58:13
Speaker
They decide they're drunk allegedly. i don't, to be honest with you, I don't think Zendaya plays the part of being drunk very well in the scene. No. Oh, to set it up, they're at like a, they're with the bride, the bridesmaid and the best man or whatever.
00:58:29
Speaker
Best man. Yeah. um And they're doing like tastings for like the the food for the wedding. Right, and wine. And wine. That's important.
00:58:40
Speaker
and it And it comes up the worst thing you've ever done in your life, which should we just what would be the worst thing ever on the Patreon? don't think we say here. I don't know what mine is. I don't know what mine is either. Yeah, me too. don't know mine is either, but I mean, could probably figure out something.
00:58:54
Speaker
feel a fun game on the Patreon. um But essentially, Zendaya, the three besides zen day the three of them are not that bad Like Mike used his ex-girlfriend as a human shield against a dog.
00:59:11
Speaker
Yeah, but he was like the dog was going after her, so I just kind of ran. Yeah, like that's rachel all right Rachel accidentally locked a retarded kid in a closet overnight. She saw prisoners and was inspired. She's like, I want to do that.
00:59:23
Speaker
ah She says slow, but he was retarded. But also, like she was like, I was like 14 or whatever. That's kind of understandable. like You're scared and you fucking lock a kid in a closet because you're terrified. Yeah, like, get this fucking thing away from me.
00:59:36
Speaker
Like, you retards, Drake. know what's going happen. He could Lenny me from All Mice and Men. He's, like, stroking my hair and shit, talking about his fucking choo-choos. And I ain't about it. Yeah, his fucking choo-choos. hook Robert Pattinson, like, his character never really gives a an answer, really, anything that's, like, bad. He's, like, super nerdy. He works at, like, a natural history museum, which is kind of cool, though. He's a pro the procurer.
01:00:02
Speaker
Of the art guy. Yeah. He's in procurement. ah He's backed out. Probably. Probably. I mean, they live in... know if you caught on to this. You don't live here, so you wouldn't know, but it is set in Boston.
01:00:14
Speaker
Like, that place they live at, that ain't cheap. There's no way. It doesn't cheap. that's a nice That's a nice fucking area to or a nice building to live in in fucking Boston. Are you kidding me? They're taking the like the fucking teas going by and shit.
01:00:27
Speaker
that's ah This is a Boston setting of a movie. But anyways... Her worst thing she ever did was she planned planned planned planned a school shooting. She got very got very very close to it.
01:00:45
Speaker
Yeah. Here's my thing, right? and that we This is probably the majority of the discussion. Are you really getting that worked up over this? Me? Yeah. cause Like if I'm in the setting?
01:00:58
Speaker
No, like... it hasn't happened the same way, but if you found out you're significant other, it was like, hey, over 10 years ago, I might have planned a school shooting because was getting bullied and feel like I didn't belong.
01:01:09
Speaker
yeah I mean, like are you like... I don't think it would go in this direction. I don't think so either, but like then it's like not a movie if it doesn't go in this direction.
01:01:20
Speaker
It was a very like shocking reveal. Yeah. I will say. um But the the overreaction from Rachel, i was just kind of like, are you're that mad? which is your My cousin Samantha was shot, and now's now she's a fucking vegetable in a wheelchair.
01:01:40
Speaker
And I took her seat in the movie theater, she beat me up me up. Work. ah She...
01:01:51
Speaker
ah Her overreaction, I was like, you're that mad about something a 14. Because this is the thing, right? Like when you're 14, you don't really understand. Like if she was like, I planned a school shooting yesterday, didn't do it. That's different. You're 26, 27 years old, whatever it is. It's like, that's a lot different than 14-year-old thinking like, I'm to go shoot with school because that'll solve my problems.
01:02:11
Speaker
Right. i i To me, it's just like a maturity thing of you didn't ah you didn't think this through and you just didn't know anything. i will feel I will say, though, about the whole thing of like when he was like, well, you Robert Pattinson was like, you weren't going to tell me.
01:02:26
Speaker
I feel like I'd probably kind of want to know that.
01:02:32
Speaker
I feel like if it came out in a group setting, I hadn't heard it before. That is like, well, why the fuck am I also hearing this for the first time? But also, like, if you took that to the grave...
01:02:44
Speaker
It's also not a bad thing. Right. And never say anything to anybody about it. Then it's like, I'm cool with that. You can just take that to your grave and that's cool. Yeah. No worries. Maybe that's something you do want to take to your grave so people don't do this. The only thing that doesn't work is that she's like, oh, I was drunk. And it's like, well, I did not perceive you as being drunk.
01:03:04
Speaker
Like they show Robert Pattinson refilling her glass and whatever. And like getting wine drunk is not like taking shots of tequila drunk. You know? Right. ah But it's obviously, ah it definitely is a shock. And you definitely, there is no suggestion in the trailer that she planned shoot up a school.
01:03:22
Speaker
Right. ah um I don't, I could see this being a controversial movie because of that. I don't, I don't think it should be, to be honest. No, I don't either because it's played off like,
01:03:39
Speaker
Like I said, it's like kind of like a dark comedy. Like it's played off as a joke, like kind of when you're seeing like her, like make her little videos before she's about to shoot the school up.
01:03:49
Speaker
And it clicks off. Yeah. She's like got a windows update. shes fuck She's like, fuck. That's how you know. She's like about our age. Cause that's like, we were on computers at that point. Yeah. Like, I don't think it should be, but I,
01:04:03
Speaker
Could because they're it's just so hard for me to see this is like a really serious issue because it's like, yeah, you were 14. The shit that I did when I was 14, I mean, it's not why I'm keeping it like locked away in a secret, but it's like, yeah, I was 14. I did dumb shit. Everyone does dumb shit. I'm not equivalent to planning to shoot up a fucking school. Yeah, it's very different. but like yeah That's an oopsie. Don't do that. but Then also like you find out through like the flashbacks and all that shit that she like became a guns activist or like whatever they called it. and like She tried to make right with
01:04:39
Speaker
all The rest of it control. And right. So it's just kind of like, yeah, you were 14. You realize what you, what you did was, uh, or what you were playing to was fucked up because a different shooting happened before it. That was her reasoning. Yeah.
01:04:52
Speaker
Yeah. Someone beat her to it.
01:04:56
Speaker
Oh man. But it's, I, I actually laughed though. Uh, after the whole reveal scene happens, right next day, they go to the photographer And they're like, all right, so we're going to over here, we're going to shoot mom. We're going to shoot the grandparents. And then like they're just like looking at each other like.
01:05:14
Speaker
The whole theory was cackling. Yeah, for my whole theory was laughing. I wasn't, don't know, wasn't laughing that hard at it, but I get it. They're like, and he's like, i I don't know about my grandparents. And they're like, all right, shooting the grandparents, TBH or TBD.
01:05:29
Speaker
To be determined. Yeah. And then it's like after that happens, it just is like a ticking time bomb, like you said, of like the the events that transpire into like the final, like we're at the wedding.
01:05:41
Speaker
Well, so like Robert Pattinson, like is still like in love with her. Right. And he's just trying to convince everybody that it's okay, that it's fine, that she didn't do it.
01:05:52
Speaker
Yeah. um But he... What really puts him over the like boiling point is like he's talking to his co-worker and he's like, hey, like you know if your boyfriend was going to shoot up a school but he didn't, would that be okay?
01:06:13
Speaker
Yeah. But again, she the the co-worker asked the right questions like, when? Like yesterday? He's like, yeah. When she was 14, that's like way, I don't know, the perspective or the context is way different.
01:06:29
Speaker
And that kind of is that kind of is the the the comedy, the satire of it is like, as a society, we will take anything we want to out of context to fit whatever narrative of the story we're trying to tell, which this Rachel character is just taking, she was in a shupa school.
01:06:48
Speaker
Like you can just take that little bit and tell it to anybody and you look a a bad person. Yeah. doesn't i don't think and I don't think Emma's character is a ah bad person per se. You were 14 and clearly a very lost child.
01:07:01
Speaker
Right. Like her turnaround is good. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't, I don't know. It doesn't mean like the whole thing. it is like very dramatic.
01:07:13
Speaker
I almost said dramatical. I cut off the call. But where Robert Pattinson goes wrong is he tries to fuck said coworker because he's having like a mental breakdown.
Infidelity and Chaos at the Wedding
01:07:25
Speaker
I... Do we even do even call this trying? He like kissed her and then she literally just assumes the position. She does and he understands it. She's like, all right. it an I really want to see his fucking peace.
01:07:39
Speaker
I don't think you'll ever see it. He's too big of an actor now. I know, but like, I've seen Defoe's piece. Let me see his piece. Was it Defoe's like prosthetic though? Cause he had choppy choppy. He did choppy choppy. That's true.
01:07:53
Speaker
I'm not shouting out Antichrist. That's not a great movie, but it's very weird, but he does try to fuck his coworker. That is fact. Why she's invited to the wedding. I don't know, but it does help the plot of the movie.
01:08:06
Speaker
Don't you think like after that, he'd be like, hey, they can't make it. You know, like. But like why? But like why Maybe they're like they're close coworkers. He invited her because they're friends or something.
01:08:19
Speaker
I just don't think that if I cheated, I would invite the person I cheated on or with. Well, at this point, he's I mean, he cheated on her like what? A couple days before the fucking wedding happened.
01:08:32
Speaker
Right. Because this all takes place within a week. Because the invite's been out. She already accepted ah RSVP. they've been They've been done with that. Yeah. Plates already fucking paid for. Yeah. ah So that's kind of an issue. And then you just get to the... You get to the the fucking... The wedding itself.
01:08:51
Speaker
Yeah. Which is... you know, the Rachel is supposed to be the best, the bridesmaid, right? And after Zendaya's character, like, I thought I was going to shoot a scope when I was 14. She'd like, just cuts off communication with her. So there's like tension there and they just don't talk.
01:09:07
Speaker
And then she also, there's like this whole other side plot where they saw their DJ doing heroin outside of a building. No, well I don't get that part either.
01:09:18
Speaker
Maybe because they were, maybe it's like, Oh, well, you know, she just does drugs. We can brush it off. but then you just say they bring in it's it's fucking hilarious like i got this special equipment it's a whatever whatever yeah and he's just kind of like a geek fucking nerd what the he like accidentally when the like the tension is really high he accidentally like fucks up something it sounds like a gunshot goes off yeah it did happen yes 100 percent uh So she gives some drunken speech, doesn't say anything about Emma wanting to shoot up school, but kind of infers it. She's like very hinting at it.
01:09:55
Speaker
And the dad's like, I was a in the army and then my gun went missing in his speech. Like you remember yeah and you remember you remember that? Remember what? It was really weird that my service rifle went missing. Yeah.
01:10:07
Speaker
Well, pay better our attention, dad. It's your fucking service rifle. Get like a gun cabinet or something. Lock it up. Yeah. Lock your, lock it up. Lock your trigger.
01:10:20
Speaker
And then there's some moment where Emma goes to the bathroom to see if like, or to take a, whatever the fuck she's doing. And she thinks that she hears talking outside. And then she pulls Rob and she's like, yo, they're talking, get fucking, what's her name in here, which is the coworker. And she's like,
01:10:36
Speaker
ah He fucked me. yeah He tried to fuck me. And then she's like, uh, that's not what I was talking about. But yeah, go on. Yeah. So that's like, uh, not a great thing. And then Rob is just like, you know, he's fucked.
01:10:51
Speaker
The pressure is surmounted to this moment of his speech. And he just goes off the fucking deep end. And he's like, I fucked a coworker. And I don't think it's that bad. You almost shot school. i mean but I love you. You mean everything to me.
01:11:07
Speaker
ah which causes a fight with that fucking Eastern European fucking boyfriend that the co-worker has. He gets hot. What's that? Headbutt to the face? Headbutt to the face. So he's like bleeding out of his schnoz.
01:11:18
Speaker
Yeah, was like, that's fucking Batman right there. What the fuck do you mean this is going on right now? That's literally fucking Batman, bro. He's going to fuck you ass. Yeah, and then they kind of reconnect by the end of the movie in the diner because of one throwaway line they said to be earlier in the film.
01:11:34
Speaker
There was also that in this diner. Because the movie opens with him writing that love letter, like the speech, and he's talking about them, like the sex being so good, and it just shows clips. He's like fucking eating around, fucking around the table. I was like, can we get more of that?
01:11:46
Speaker
i was like, wow, that's hot. I was like, where's the rest of that, dude? Tom Holland is a brave man. Yeah, i mean, Tom, yeah. Yeah. But that was not letting her like do all this stuff in these movies.
01:11:59
Speaker
I also saw like she's got a T tattoo on like a rib cage for Tom. Oh, wow. Like Tom owns her in a way. Maybe they're like really kinky. They're together.
01:12:10
Speaker
I mean, Tom they're that in that show is getting fucked by a dude. I forgot what show it was, but it was going around. Shout Grand Wizard Chat Ninja whenever he posted that shit. That was crazy. It's not Ninja, but you get it.
01:12:22
Speaker
I get it. Yeah. Also, I always forget that Robert Pattinson's British and this isn't an accent. Like, yeah, that he's putting on. Right. He's just a British in it. He's a British fellow. Because most movies he's like putting on an accent.
01:12:38
Speaker
Right. Um, Yeah, I mean, they really do a fucking great job layering in the suspense. and you're at the fuck You're in the fucking wedding. You're like, what the fuck is going to happen right now? Like, you just don't just don't actually know.
01:12:52
Speaker
So what do you think is worse on that end? Cheating on someone or almost shooting up a school? Okay, well, again, ah context.
01:13:02
Speaker
if i if my is If my significant other almost planned out a school shooting when she was 14 or she fucked a co-worker three days before we got married, I feel like fucking a co-worker as a full-grown adult with a fully developed brain is worse in that context.
01:13:23
Speaker
Yeah, 100%. agree. Although like if you were gonna like, if you're like, Hey, I planned at the school shooting. Can I get some notes on this? Like, what do you think? i That's fucking, that's like, that's fucking crazy, bro. Want to go over my blueprints right quick?
01:13:37
Speaker
By the way, i just want to say, because it just distracted me, I saw a girl on Bumble wearing a ghost shirt in one of her profile pictures. And I was like, i was like, hey, if you're, listen, if you're out there and you hear this, I swipe right on you. Will you swipe back?
01:13:50
Speaker
Yeah. Where you at? Yeah. I need Because you never see, you never see those. You never see like ghost shirts, you mean? and On dating profiles? No. Oh, on dating profiles? No. No.
01:14:02
Speaker
In public shirts and all the time. Yeah, all the time. Yeah. No problem. ah So i'm I'm up and down on the rating on this because it's like part of me part of me is like the I planned a school shooting when I was 14 is not i don't I don't know
Final Reflections and Movie Rating Debate
01:14:20
Speaker
if it's that bad. know it sounds crazy, but like is it that bad to cause the rest of the events? However, the rest of the events that follow are really suspenseful and it's like all done really well.
01:14:31
Speaker
So like I'm kind of don't know my rating. I'll go first then, I guess. That's fucking cute. You should go first. i um I really dug it.
01:14:44
Speaker
In my opinion. but He's dead. He's dead. He likes eggs. Big eggs. Happy belated egg day, by the way. Yeah, egg boy. no button uh i really fucked with this movie hard oh i just found it we had it the whole time oh i'm sorry you have it now i'm gonna give this movie a four star
01:15:10
Speaker
i you know what's crazy is that i was stuck between a four and like a four and a half oh really was i was kind of contemplating giving us a four and a half Because the move- the It's really good. acting is so fucking good. yeah And Zendaya's fucking hot. So fucking- So is Rob. thats like That scene where he's like grabbing tits, I was like, wow. Because he can't get hard?
01:15:32
Speaker
Because he's trying to jerk himself off. He's like, school- School-Tutor? Yeah. Oh my god, yeah. i Pull it, pull it. Go into the next room. There's five of them in the room. On your left, on your left.
01:15:47
Speaker
Oh my god.
01:15:51
Speaker
He's like doing like he's playing fucking Call Duty or something. He's doing call outs.
01:15:57
Speaker
What the fuck? Yo, brode behind the desk. Brode behind the desk. Oh, no. Oh, my God.
01:16:08
Speaker
oh boy. ah You never know what's to said in this podcast. We've reached we watched it. Oh, man. That's fucking crazy. Oh, wow. Yeah. ah I got your six. I was going to say a completely different direction. Is that like when she's riding him and she just like slaps him face? I'm like, is he going to called a faggot two movies in a row?
01:16:33
Speaker
was J-Law called him a faggot and then somebody else is going to do it too? That would been awesome. Yeah, that's i mean, i thought it was going happen. He's like, what the fuck? will they Oh, that was another weird thing. Do think it's Rob's thing is like he just likes to get abused in bed?
01:16:47
Speaker
Maybe, and that's why he does it in the movies. Yeah. Makes it more authentic. And they were just like, and gobbled up, Rob's a freak, and he's got to kill him off immediately. You can't touch these kids touching these kids. these kids.
01:16:59
Speaker
Him in one movie? Good enough. Get him out of here. Get him out here. With this casting. Yeah, Emma Watson's like, get him the fuck away from me.
01:17:11
Speaker
he um mean He almost showed me his little diggery. Yeah.
01:17:16
Speaker
yeah yeah dude that's just crazy maybe he's a kink who knows uh but the ah that was a weird thing that happened the movie they're whenever is whatever uh whenever she gets mad they make like a point to show it like she's she's still got that dog in her yeah yeah she could do it any moment like when she's yelling at the fucking dj or the the car that like almost runs them over which by the way i know where that is it's right by a park and it's right across the theater that i went and saw this movie in that's pretty cool yeah i don't know when i shot this though because you know i've lived in boston for the past five years so when the fuck did you do this when they shut to like a block down yeah um crazy i don't know so you'll have to go to my letterbox and see what i'm gonna give it it's gonna be a four or four and a half i gotta sit on a little bit longer it might be a four and a half honestly
01:18:06
Speaker
Like I'm buying this as soon as it comes out. It's good. Movie is good. I think. Maybe not as soon. As soon as I can. What are we at on the list here for readings? Dracula four and a half.
01:18:19
Speaker
Yeah, it's probably Dracula level. Is it better than 28 years later, Bone Temple? I think it is. It's better than. Yeah. Yeah, it's probably gonna be a four and a half for me.
01:18:32
Speaker
I really liked it. That was great. solid movie tight doesn't have any extra slop that you don't need you know nothing no none of the time tis into the point it didn't feel like it slowed down or anything yeah um cool so that i mean that's all i have to say about that feel like yeah fantastic film We do not condone school shootings and we do not condone fucking being a freak in the sheets with underage people. That's not okay. yeah And I guess don't cheat on your significant other. Just end the relationship.
01:19:05
Speaker
Correct. um So you know, last week week before we told you guys, we didn't really know what the fuck was going to happen. we've We've now mapped out our future. Our future has been mapped through Spider-Man brand new day. So we know what the fuck's going on now. How about that?
01:19:20
Speaker
uh next week you're getting a vault we promise it's the last vault episode for a little bit we promise uh we know we've been shoving fucking vaults down your throat but fuck we've been busy yeah uh it it is a joint another combo two combos in a row we're covering wing the poop blood and honey one and two we recorded that i don't know more than a year ago at this point i don't even remember the recording So if it's a snoozer, we're sorry. But if you want to hear not snoozers, subscribe to the Patreon. Check out the Patreon. 100%. We got some bangers, heaters.
01:19:55
Speaker
ah According to Tyler and... Did we say were just going to call Guinan? Not his first name? Well, Guinan's his last name, so that's hard. We're just going to call him that, right? which you can't say half of his name?
01:20:09
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, well, according to those two, ah some of our best work is on Patreon. According to them. So go check it out. It's just me talking shit.
01:20:21
Speaker
ah Yeah. Go check that out. We're going to record episode on that right now. are we going to talk about? I don't actually know yet. I don't i actually know. Yeah. Because I have watched zero movies. so you too.
01:20:34
Speaker
ah We'll see you guys next week for Poo 1 and 2. And then we're doing an episode. This is probably going end up going fucking wild in Stuart Little. I'm so excited. That's the week after that. We're going fucking cook.
01:20:47
Speaker
We'll see you guys ah Friday for Mixed Bag. Toodles. Fuck you, Mark.
01:20:56
Speaker
I don't wish that. I love you, buddy.