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EP. 115 One Hour Photo (2002)
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Transcript
Introduction and Chaotic Banter
00:00:00
Speaker
I want to play football. Have you seen my dick? been looking for it.
00:00:07
Speaker
Sir, I'm going rub one out right here on your counter.
00:00:11
Speaker
We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.
00:00:19
Speaker
rinsing your girl out, bud.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hello, my name is Nick, and I have shaft hair.
00:00:27
Speaker
Call me Odell Beckham Senior, because I'm dad.
00:00:34
Speaker
want me to lick your bedpan, filthy skunk?
00:00:40
Speaker
We're just joking. Everything's jokes.
00:00:47
Speaker
Two girls, one cup? No. Two guys, one screen? Yes.
00:00:54
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode 115 of the Two Guys, one Screen podcast. Two Guys, One Screen podcast. We are the Hanroid homies, the Germans, the Aryan race.
00:01:11
Speaker
Poetown boys. Nine Jews. Nine. Wow, we are already being bigots and we're 30 seconds in. That has to be a record. No. No.
00:01:23
Speaker
Yeah, but we're here. Another fucking episode for you, little sexy fucks. Yeah. hope you enjoyed Stuart. um And we're really excited to not give you guys any more vaulted episodes for a little bit. We're going to be here live and alive with you fucking moist people.
00:01:41
Speaker
You are getting a Robin Williams production. Is it Robin Williams? Is it Robin? so The movie we're doing this week is One Hour Photo.
00:01:53
Speaker
AKA 60 Minutes. Yeah. A little unrated under unrated. No, it's rated. It's rated for sure. I mean, it could i mean there is peace. Yeah.
00:02:04
Speaker
There's straight up peace in this movie. I was going say an underrated gem. Yeah, and it's not like peace on earth. It's like peace. Like dick. Like peace. Yeah. I mean, and unfortunately, it's not Robin Williams penis.
00:02:17
Speaker
I would be curious. Very curious. Probably
Discussion on 'One Hour Photo'
00:02:20
Speaker
got like a little hat on it. I think, I don't know in what way we covered this movie, but we covered it somehow on Yeah, You Want It. I'm pretty sure. prime also Also, I'll just look at it real quick on the podcast because this is great podcasting. I'm pretty sure Yeah, You Want It is about to be one years old.
00:02:36
Speaker
Oh my goodness. I think we're celebrating the one year anniversary of what yeah Yeah, You Want It. Give me one segundo. No, this is part four. um Unfortunately, i don't have any expendable income to have a one-year anniversary episode. oh it's 11 months.
00:02:52
Speaker
Hold on. It's only 11 months. We're not there. One more months. ah When did this come out? It doesn't have the exact date because Sencaster's a faggot.
00:03:04
Speaker
It just says 11 months ago. Whatever. Well, next month we'll be celebrating the one year anniversary of Yay One. ah Yeah, so we're doing one hour photo. i think you, I bought this for you or you bought this for me at some point.
00:03:18
Speaker
So I watched a video of like underrated thrillers back in the like 2024, think. i think No, it had to be 2023 because I watched it in 2024.
00:03:29
Speaker
So I was like, Robin? Robin? but enough in enough to In a serious movie? I'm going to buy that. So I bought the Blu-ray. I watched it. I liked it. I bought it for you. i think for like your birthday.
00:03:41
Speaker
My birthday. or so Harry, it's your birthday. i mean, I have it locked on here. The first my watches was was February. February 2024. ah february thirteenth twenty twenty four yeah Wait, hold on. Do we watch it together?
00:03:54
Speaker
I don't think we did. No, I think you watched it. Oh, we did. Oh. Well, I mean, you have a log the same exact day. Maybe we did watch it together. but What the fuck was I doing in February of 24 that I was able to be with you on the same day?
00:04:07
Speaker
My birthday? It was your birthday. Well, not that day, but it was your birthday. We watched it the same day. That's interesting. I wonder what... Huh! Let's look.
00:04:21
Speaker
My photos. I don't have anything in... It it goes December and then May 24th. So I don't have anything in between. I don't know the fuck was going on at that time in my life. To be fair, we don't really take pictures with each other.
00:04:33
Speaker
No, but even sometimes photos are are like at least like a hint of like, oh, that was going on. We should take more pictures together. We have no photos. Yeah, it'd be good for the podcast. When we do reveal? I have January. have January 28th.
00:04:47
Speaker
I have the January... January 29th, I was in New York. Huh. But I wasn't in 2024. No. And then March of 24, I was in California. So I don't know when the fuck I saw you. But... Okay. It's fucking cute we watch that together.
00:05:02
Speaker
Fucking cute. This movie is 96 minutes. Nice. Oh, uh... i Go ahead. For context, Frank, for context, we're recording this on ah April 20th. So happy 420, everybody that's celebrate.
00:05:19
Speaker
We're getting around to all the fucking accents now, aren't we? i mean, we we had an Indian phase last December. We're doing fucking German, which by the way, a guy who the guy who i was talking about on patron that I showed the podcast to, he told me that an Indian guy told me he looked Indian and he's not Indian. He's like Mexican.
00:05:36
Speaker
And I was and I was like, damn, bro, you smell that bad. I think you're Indian. I mean, that's i mean i could I could kind of get it, but it's more so the hair. I feel like Indian people, their hair looks stiff all the time. It does look stiff, yes. Unlike my wiener. My wiener is soft.
00:05:54
Speaker
One hour photo came out August 21st, 2002. This is prime time post 9-11, but fucking Chris Benoit cooking 2002. He Well, I can't read this. He would lose he had was currently the WWE Intercontinental Champion, but he only had the title belt for fucking 27 days. Oh, wow. He would lose it August 25th. Four days later, he would lose it.
00:06:19
Speaker
To who? I don't know. Shout out ah Penta for retaining his Intercontinental Championship last night at WrestleMania night two. oh if you Oh, it's Rob Van Damme. Oh, shit.
00:06:31
Speaker
Oh, also fucking Brock the Cock is retiring? Yeah. Double-decker pecker wrecker? He's out here? Gone. He put his shit down. Yeah. Do you think do you think that We're not a wrestling podcast, but do you think that he told Paul that he was retiring or that was like a genuine reaction from Paul?
00:06:47
Speaker
I don't know. Paul looked kind of, I don't know. I feel like he's not very emotional. Paul's an ugly, Paul's an ugly crier. He was already ugly, but he's an ugly crying motherfucker. Even Brock was crying and he's, you know, tough boy.
00:07:00
Speaker
Yeah. He's a farm boy. He fucks, he fucks men with his pecker wrecker. Until it slips in his hole. My nickname is Cock Sucker.
00:07:13
Speaker
ah Yeah, so he lost the title to Rob Van Dam. i don't know if you could click on this. At Summer Slam 2002. If you don't know who Rob Van Dam is.
00:07:24
Speaker
and they they had it They had that in New York. Oh, it even has how long the match was. The match was 16 minutes. Was it at MSG? It was at Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Uniondale, New York.
00:07:36
Speaker
Get the fuck out of here. fuck out of here. SummerSlam's got to be at Madison. It's got to be at SummerSlam. It's got to be. So this director's name is Mark Romanek.
00:07:47
Speaker
He looks like a terrorist a little bit. He also kind of looks like a seagull. And he's directed nothing else that I've seen. No offense to you, but I haven't seen it.
00:07:59
Speaker
We'll go to the cast list now. We have Robin Williams. Maybe you've heard of him. He is ah Seymour Parrish, a.k.a. Cy the Photo Guy. Bill Nye the Photo Guy. Yeah, that's right.
00:08:10
Speaker
I mean, I'm throwing RIP to a legend. I'm throwing it back on him big, no? Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean, if if this guy was like... That was loud, huh? No. i My AirPods are are old.
00:08:27
Speaker
And I have a little... It's like a little rat rattly in there now. a little bit. It'd be blasting music. You what mean? Yeah. I mean, but if this guy was like Psy, the science guy or something, instead of Billy, it'd be like, kids, kids, kids, kids.
00:08:45
Speaker
ah You said... ah it Was your claim this is the best Robin Williams performance or top three? What did you say? Oh, it's one of his best for sure. One of his best. Yeah, I was thinking about I'm trying like my favorite Robin Williams movie. And I'm telling you right now, it's not Mrs. Doubtfire. That movie's ass.
00:09:02
Speaker
I've seen parts of it. I really like... I really like him in Google hunting and dead poets. He's good. Obviously. I just don't. Yeah. The dead poets is good. It's just like, i don't really care about it that much.
00:09:13
Speaker
Like I've seen it enough times. I'm a really big, um, flubber. Good. Yo. Yes. Flubber's in my top three, but that might just be nostalgia. Let's do flubber for the Patreon.
00:09:24
Speaker
I'm so down. We can wild. Yeah. Just go fucking crazy. I really like good morning. We haven't gone crazy so far in the 10 minutes we've been recording this. I like good morning Vietnam. Personally.
00:09:36
Speaker
I haven't seen it. Really? No, I have not. Unfortunately for me. Also, he's he's literally the genie in Aladdin, so there's that. There's also that. Yes. He's also one of the robots in Robots, which I also like.
00:09:48
Speaker
He's also in Jumanji, which I give it a four. I guess I liked it. Jumanji's good. It's better Jumanji good. The new shit. Well, yeah, but I'm trying to think. It's probably better than Zathura. Zen.
00:10:00
Speaker
Because Zafira is just ripping it off. Right. Yeah. I mean, based on my rating, I would say yes. Yeah. I don't even have it ranked in Letterboxd era, but I have the 4K steelbook. Hell yeah.
00:10:12
Speaker
Next we have Connie Nielsen, who plays Nina Yorkin. Yorkin, my Yorkin. I don't know if I'm fucking her in the movie. I mean, this picture should get dicked. Absolutely. But I'm fucking her.
00:10:26
Speaker
Problem being, she's in all these movies and I don't remember ever seeing her in any of these and I've seen all of these. Well, we covered Gladiator 2. Yeah. Maybe she's the mom in Gladiator 2? But she's also in Gladiator 1. She's Lucia. Yeah, she could be the fucking... Yeah.
00:10:44
Speaker
Lucy. Yeah. I mean, she's a main bitch. She's the mom. Yeah. She's fucking Russell Crowe. She's the wife or the mom. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. um I mean, I'll give her the button for you. should I'm not fucking her in this movie, though. That's that's fine.
00:11:01
Speaker
it She's got like, it's it's early 2000, 02, right? It's still like 90s are still like a thing. So her hair is kind of yeah fucking whack. Wonk. Looks like she should be Resident Evil.
00:11:12
Speaker
ah She does kind of look like that bitch from Resident Evil, That bitch. Yeah, I forgot her name. Yeah. Next, we have Michael Vartan, who plays Will, and he's a scumbag, and this actor does nothing for my penis. Not at all. and um He looks like he's in no movies that are worthwhile.
00:11:30
Speaker
He ain't fucking it.
00:11:33
Speaker
ah Next we have Gary Cole who plays Bill. Bill Owens. This guy's been in a lot of shit. Yeah. He's a that guy,
Generational Differences and Mall Culture
00:11:40
Speaker
you know? Like, oh shit, it's that dude. I've seen him before. Literally. Yeah. He's in a lot of comedies.
00:11:45
Speaker
He's in Cockblock. We've got to do that movie at some point. Just keep saying we can do it. Yeah, the movie's fucking great. I'm not fucking this guy though, I've got say. can i Can I just admit something?
00:11:55
Speaker
Admit it. Right here on the podcast. I've never seen Talladega Nights. It's bad. Is it bad? I mean, that's another one that's like Joe Dirt. Another where everyone's like, oh, it's fucking, you haven't seen Talladega Nights? It's fucking shit.
00:12:06
Speaker
So mid. Did give it a they get a star and a half? What did I give it? Two?
00:12:12
Speaker
I hit the wrong guy. I hit Michael Vartan. You gave it a three. I gave it a three. Okay, then it's mid. I guess it's not bad. I remember being worse. Oh, it's the other one. Semi-Pro.
00:12:23
Speaker
That one's shit. Another Will Ferrell comedy. Will Ferrell is just like so hit or miss. Tally the Good Knights to me is pretty overrated though, I will say. All right. Next we have Aaron Daniels who plays Maya Brunson. I mean, she could get dicked.
00:12:35
Speaker
She's in the House of a Thousand Corpses? Huh. She must be not a main bitch. Can't be. No, she is. She's Denise. Oh. Were we fucking her in that episode? i don't know. I'd still can't remember. Yeah. I mean, I would give her the button, no?
00:12:51
Speaker
Sure.
00:12:54
Speaker
ah I guess we'll shout out this fucking hound. We got Paul Kim Jr. That's a crazy name. He's a yohi Yoshi. Yoshi. Yoshi. yesshi i'm not fuck I'm not fucking this guy. He's in the Ang Lee Hulk. I didn't know that. Weird.
00:13:09
Speaker
Also, I missed a kid. We missed a big dude.
00:13:15
Speaker
Yeah, the kid? No. ah Not the kid. Clark Gregg?
Analysis of Cy's Character
00:13:20
Speaker
Oh, a.k.a. Colson. Yeah. Yeah, I'm fucking that guy, too.
00:13:27
Speaker
Yeah, fucking for the clout.
00:13:31
Speaker
ah Jake Yorkin is Dylan Smith. He's just a little kid, and he's in Pirates. That's good for him, dude. The first one. He's in a good one. The only good one. Yes. So...
00:13:43
Speaker
Does anybody else want to... Amateur porn guy, Jim Rash, shout to you. Hilarious, his last name is Rash. And you're a porn guy? Yeah. ah Yeah, that's it.
00:13:54
Speaker
That's it. That's good. so if you're new to this podcast, welcome. You're a little late, but welcome. And we do a scene by scene. so that's what we're going do. And this is... Movie is way better than Stuart. Yeah. And this is, I think we said earlier, a Robin Williams movie where there's no comedy.
00:14:14
Speaker
There's no comedy. even There's not even a little bit of comedy. Straight thriller. I also want to shout out the score. I like the music. It's moving a lot. think it bumps. Bumps is not the right word.
00:14:25
Speaker
But it's good. Shout out special effects. Because there's a singular blood scene. I don't know. I don't even... Was that that? Did you like that? I was not very impressed by that. I mean, it was literally just like corn syrup squirting out of like a tube. That's what call when I come. Hey, girl, you want see my corn syrup squirting out of a tube?
00:14:44
Speaker
We got Johnny Klimek and Reinhold Heil. Whoa, something's Heil. That's crazy. ouros They're composers and they've done... mean, this guy's done nothing besides that one movie that I haven't seen yet.
00:14:55
Speaker
And then he also... This guy, Johnny... same Oh, he did The Matrix, Resurrections. I guess he has that going for him, right? He probably got the bag. You know, movies are bad.
00:15:05
Speaker
He's a composer and an actor in a film? That's kind of crazy. Never see that. Composers being actors? He's just straight up playing the score live when they're filming. he's also He also did the music for a movie called Jungle that came out in 2017 that stars Daniel Radcliffe in a jungle.
00:15:23
Speaker
I've seen the cover. I might own it. Genuinely. know. Wow, this is very interesting. I'm curious about this movie. It has a 3.2.
00:15:33
Speaker
Because I'll watch anything that Daniel Radcliffe's in. Yeah, I mean, just to see him say the N-word, I'll watch it, you know? Well, yeah, I want to see his cock. I want to see his piece bad. So this movie is one of those things, one of those Johns where it's like, you know, they start at the end and work their way back, you know, kind of deal. So like the opening of the movie, you see a camera, you're just staring at a camera for a little bit, old camera, you know it's 2002.
00:15:59
Speaker
did It's right right when they' the transition's happening, as they mentioned in the movie. My transition's currently happening. Yeah. I'm going back.
00:16:11
Speaker
I'm going back inside my mom's pussy. I'm done with this shit. Fucking Udo reversed my ass. Yeah. And I wrote Robin because I don't know his name yet. Psy. He's getting interrogated by a detective, and this guy wants to know why...
00:16:29
Speaker
Why Will? Yeah. Why? Why? It's a black detective. He's black. You're right. It's not the other guy. He looks like, a wow, Bargain Bin. What's that guy's name?
00:16:40
Speaker
He looks like Bargain Bin, the dude who played the Deacon or Beacon on King of Queens. I was going to say Bargain Guy that he's in he's in stuff, but I'm just thinking of him in Saw.
00:16:52
Speaker
Danny Glover? Danny Glover. I don't think Danny Glover. It's like Danny Glover if he had like way too much work done. Oh, And they space his eyes out a little bit more. His eyes are kind of freaky, you know? They're kind of like city. might be because he's black. I don't know. ah And this guy wants to know about William Yorkin.
00:17:11
Speaker
What's up with Willie? Who's York? Do you York him or what's going on? What the fuck is going on? And then it just cuts and there'll be some narration from Psy and he's talking about family photos depicting smiling faces. There are happy moments and whatever. and You know, people don't take photos of bad things, just good things.
00:17:31
Speaker
Not anymore. was going to now it's mostly bad things. Yeah. ah we cut and we meet Nina, who's telling her husband, Will Yorkin, that she's going to jork him.
00:17:42
Speaker
And...
00:17:47
Speaker
Hey, babe. She's... Want to get jorked, yeah? Get a sick jorkin' real quick? That's such a comedian. Yeah. Hey, bro, if you want a jorkin', mate...
00:18:00
Speaker
Uh, they're going to take, she's taking Jake to save Mart. Uh, and he's asking if you, if, uh, will wants to go. He's like, no, I'm busy. I got a fucking look bitch on the side. No spoiler.
00:18:11
Speaker
Yeah. So they got to go to save Mart and save Mart's like Walmart, but it's save Mart. And, uh, it's, they don't have a walls. There's no, it's like a farmer's market. Yeah.
00:18:26
Speaker
And there's no, and there's no non mean greeters. Just a police officer. yeah they're just ready yeah it's in a nice white neighborhood they got a nice house no yeah i mean whatever these people do yeah whatever will does he like does like was like designing a fucking chair on his computer or some shit i don't know what the fuck he was doing so a carpenter like jesus but but
00:18:52
Speaker
so Carpenter like Jesus. Save Mark. Save me. Jesus. and Yeah, you saved me. Yeah. Save me from a jorking. He was like, don't don't do it, my son. Don't do it, my son. Sorry, Jesus.
00:19:06
Speaker
Don't clip that film. Don't clip. Don't. Let it out. that's fucking here, baby. Don't clip my cock. I need that. Okay.
00:19:19
Speaker
Jesus is like, yo, the Jews are with this. i but He's like, yeah, the Jews started doing this thing where they clip cocks. I know we all don't like them, but I'm cool with that. ah it Honestly, it makes it look a lot better.
00:19:31
Speaker
yeah Yeah. And it prevents infection, which you guys haven't discovered yet. But in a couple hundred years, you'll figure out that it's really dirty. Just stick your dick in the dirt. Like, I know the Jews killed me, but they're kind of cooking with this cock thing. Yeah, with this cock trim they got going on, it's nice.
00:19:51
Speaker
Like, yeah you know how you guys get a haircut? ever get your cock cut? Yeah. The fact that Joseph kind of put it in my mom like that, little gross. ain't gonna lie. little gross. Guys, I know. i don't want to get into politics, but clipping your dick, nice move.
00:20:07
Speaker
I don't want to get political. ah But get your foreskin peeled off. Nice. Yeah, you have my vote.
00:20:18
Speaker
If the...
00:20:22
Speaker
That's your platform. I'm going to run for president and just be like, all right, guys, oil, nah. Tariffs, nah. Cock cutting. I got it.
00:20:35
Speaker
it was Just like it was Trump. In America, we have the greatest penises, clipped penises, the best penises. If you're walking around with an unclipped penis, I think it's time for ICE to come find you. We're going to deport you.
00:20:50
Speaker
we're going to send all of them to Israel. Yeah. uncle yeah
00:20:56
Speaker
yeah Yeah. And in Israel, you have to serve for the military. That's just a part of it. like You just get to the military and they do like youre your physical. You go, oh, your cock's not cut. You just cut it off. right But no antiseptic, right? It's just... Here, bite this rag. This is going sound really ignorant, but what does ICE even stand for?
00:21:12
Speaker
I don't know. What? What does... So once it gets to like, once water gets to like 32 degrees.
00:21:26
Speaker
Immigrations and customs enforcement. Oh, that makes sense. That's gay. We could, I mean, something in cock enforcement. I don't know. Yeah. Something else but for I, I can't think anything right now.
00:21:38
Speaker
Illegal. Illegal
Climax and Plot Development
00:21:40
Speaker
cock enforcement. Yeah.
00:21:45
Speaker
We're just walking on the street like, hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Take it out. Take it out right now. Yeah. You had the proper cock on you? Yeah. Yeah. We're just walking wearing ice shirts, but it's fucking illegal cock enforcement.
00:22:00
Speaker
It's You go to that ice rally? Yeah, dude. Fuck foreskin. Yeah, you yeah dude. People are protesting. Fuck foreskin. I got the signs. Fuck four skin. We're a peaceful protest. We promise.
00:22:19
Speaker
Let us know where you stand on all this. Are you pro ice or do you want to keep your hoodie on your dick? Yeah. i think I think all of us, you know especially females and gays that suck wiener, don't want to find a little present wrapped inside a hoodie. you know A little smegma, a little blue cheese.
00:22:36
Speaker
What's the problem, right? its It's a lot harder to clean. little gorgonzola. Yeah. we We just take a washcloth or our fucking hand and go, done. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's yeah it's more sanitary. We got to give the Jews credit on that.
00:22:49
Speaker
Like the fact that i you would have to peel shit back just to clean yourself. like Or to pee. They they peel back to pee too? It's a question. You can get pee stuck in there. have to right? Yeah.
00:23:00
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, i it's just extra work. Yeah. Yeah. I would say, though, if I had a fucking hoodie on still, I would pull it back like i was cocking a gun. Like, yeahp you know? Yeah. Rub-a-dub-dub. My dick is a cup.
00:23:12
Speaker
you know Or if you like, how does that work when they shoot loads? Is the hoodie open enough to shoot a load out? I don't know because I never watch porn with guys like that. I just turn that shit off because gross looking. It is gross looking. You're right. You know what mean?
00:23:23
Speaker
We don't want to be a... Yeah. Yeah, it's not good. Um, so anyways, what a I don't know how engine um't how we got there, but, uh, they're going to save Mart and, uh, they walk up to the desk at save Mart for the camera burden birthday for the camera, uh, picture section. And that Yoshi's there, a local cow, uh, and size sees that he's talking to Nina and Jay. So he walks out there and he knows their address already off top of his dome. That's weird. little sketch.
00:23:54
Speaker
Yep. And he tells them, Psy does, that there's one shot left in the camera. So he takes it. Just fucking little selfie, John. little selfie action. That's crazy. I mean, back in the day, you had to literally hold the camera.
00:24:06
Speaker
Like, you couldn't see the way you were taken. Hopefully it works. Also, it's even crazier later when the they go home and Will's like, who the fuck is this? It's just some guy. Yeah. That's crazy, dude. Like you're not worried.
00:24:19
Speaker
Yeah. And I feel like Nina is like very clearly uncomfortable with this, obviously. um And she lets Jake go look at toys. And he had a birthday. just turned nine, which Cy already knows. Weird.
00:24:33
Speaker
Yeah. And she needs. Today with his birthday, I brought him to the back of Spencer's. Yeah. Show what the real world's all about. Yeah. um See that?
00:24:45
Speaker
I'd use that to tie up daddy. You know, we're raising him right with good values. Clipping, make sure no foreskin or anti-forskin household. And Cy's like, oh, what a relief. You know, when I met Will and he found out we were pregnant, he clipped his fucking hood off.
00:25:00
Speaker
Yeah. make a good decision for our children for future. It's like, sorry, i didn't want to put my meat in your meat, you roast beef bitch. You roast beef bitch. ah She needs these pictures done by today. And he's like, oh, we closed at seven, but I'll get it done. I hate people like that.
00:25:19
Speaker
What? Like, you ask somebody to do something, it's like, ah, well, you know, this and this is going on and this and this and this. But I'll do it for you. Like, no, fuck you, buddy. Just say you can't do it. just Right. Just be honest with me.
00:25:29
Speaker
Yeah. like don't I don't need that. Just say, yeah, I'll do it. Or no, you won't. Because what if you're half-ass my shit? Don't half-ass my shit. That's how it is. And don't half-ass your circumcision. You wouldn't want to fuck that up.
00:25:40
Speaker
Well, yeah. But i would rather I would rather shit in a sink than sink in the shit. Now let that shit sink in. m Yeah, ger's Gerald's the week daily 420 factoid.
00:25:53
Speaker
ah Then there's a narration. It's Cy saying he's done this photoprosting for 20 years and he finds it very important. ah I mean, today it's not, but back then it was. That job's gone in like five years.
00:26:08
Speaker
ah Yeah, yeah. You know? ah We watch him. having a beer? It's an angry orchard. Is that a problem? but No, it just took me through. No, it just threw me through loop.
00:26:20
Speaker
Okay. Uh, we see him process Nina's photos and he basically, he goes on this whole tangent, but the main idea is he feels like they're underappreciated people. These people that process photos.
00:26:32
Speaker
um like no buddy you know why you're not underappreciated because it's just your fucking job yeah do you think that we should just you know how they call like people who take up the trash sanitation workers do you think we should just call people cut off fucking circumcision just call them sanitation workers i think we should you know because you're a sanitation worker it's got to be a sanitary environment yeah i was the reason why i brought that up was like i'm sure that people take out the garbage don't appreciated either buddy like relax No, but I think they get paid pretty good.
00:26:59
Speaker
That's good. Just toss them toss some garbage. That's a state job. Yeah, it is Department of tre of of fucking... I just said it. Having a stroke. so but your When do they cut your cock? is it like When you're born.
00:27:13
Speaker
Yeah. yeah i mean, it's better that way. i want any recollection of that. Well, no, but no wonder the fucking kid's screaming His fucking little shit got ripped. Yeah, ripped off. Like the spray.
00:27:24
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So he gives the photos to Nina, but she wanted a 4x6, and he gave him 5x7. And then he gives Jake a free camera because it's his birthday, which is not store policy. All right, going to spy on mom.
00:27:42
Speaker
yeah but What you got cooking? ah We see Cy close the store, and then he goes out to his car, and a crack in his windshield. Oh, no.
00:27:55
Speaker
We see the family, Nina and Will and fucking dumbass looking through the photos. Jake and Will's like, who the fuck is this?
00:28:06
Speaker
This is just some fucking selfie of this random guy in here. And it's like, you've got some balls asking who a random man is when you're fucking this broad on the side. That's true, but he's got to keep it on the DL. Yeah. And then Jake's like, oh, it's the side the photo guy.
00:28:20
Speaker
Are you Italian? don't know. Well, because I just think Jake. So I just went to like our friend Jake. So I just yeah make fun of him as much as possible. Yeah. Shout out Jake. Yeah. Jake's clipped for sure. Right. Because he's Jewish. Jake's Jewish. He's clipped big.
00:28:36
Speaker
We cut to Sai sitting in a coffee shop looking at the their family photos, meaning like Nina and her family. Right, because earlier she said hell she only only wants two copies of them, but he wrote down three.
00:28:48
Speaker
He makes extra. He's a fucking freak. Yeah, he is. And he tells the waitress that that's his family. He's Uncle Sai in his brain. Uh, and then he goes home and then,
Dramatic Confrontations
00:29:01
Speaker
Jake is laying in bed and he tells his mom that he feels bad for this random guy who doesn't have any friends and people make fun of him and she's like, who, who could it be?
00:29:09
Speaker
oh that weird man at safe Mart. No. the photo guy. Have you ever thought about that though? Have you ever like see like a really elderly person or something who's like struggling to like walk or something? You're like, damn, I kind of feel bad for him.
00:29:23
Speaker
If they have nobody, yeah, I guess it could feel bad. But also, like, what did you do that you have nobody? That's true. Were you an asshole? Yeah, I mean, just if, like, you see them walking. Like, if they tripped, I'd probably laugh at them. I mean, Cy was saying he has, like, fucking syphilis and shit. Like, yeah, stay the fuck away from me. Well, yeah. Well, as we find out, he was, like, raped or something as a kid. Yeah, yeah. That's unfortunate.
00:29:47
Speaker
ah So... Also, Nina calls Jake Pookie here more than once. Weird. Didn't like that. They were ahead of the game. Yeah. Did not like that. ah And Nina's like, we don't really know Cy that well. He probably has a family and a girlfriend or whatever else. But on the screen, you see him arriving to an empty home.
00:30:10
Speaker
ah And Nina tells Jake to close his eyes and send happy thoughts to Pookie. I've heard to Pookie. To Pookie. To your Uncle Pookie. To Yeah. Did you notice that his entire house is just like beige?
00:30:23
Speaker
Yeah, just one color. Basic ass shit. Yeah. ah We see Cy give his hamster a little nibble. A fucking water spick.
00:30:34
Speaker
You know what I mean? He's like... like yeah i literally thought like, damn, yo. That little hamster's fucking tongue could fit in my hole.
00:30:47
Speaker
so yeah He knows that the inside of a penis head is soft and smooth. You know how I've been trying to convince you to feel the inside your penis head? You have been, actually, for a while. I feel like, yeah. I don't want to feel inside of my penis head. Maybe I'll have the hamster do it. But I'm not going to force him because that would be triggering the side.
00:31:11
Speaker
Tyler has a hamster. I did not know that. And I pet him. Todd a cute kid. He's overdressed too. He is. Yeah. ah So you pet the hamster?
00:31:22
Speaker
I did. And you got a real nice look at that tongue or what? Unfortunately, he was no tongue out. I think he was a little scared. You weren't just like, what the? No, i didn't I didn't hold him because I was afraid.
00:31:34
Speaker
You're afraid of a hamster? I didn't want to, like, crush him. Because what if, like, you know, like, you go What are you, fucking No! Yeah. Well, like, what if you go retard sometime? You're just oh, what happens? You just, I don't know.
00:31:45
Speaker
That's interesting. That's an interesting fear to have. To be fair, I wasn't offered to hold the hamster. So Tyler, you know, try to hold your fucking hairy. Try to hold your hamster, buddy. Yeah.
00:31:59
Speaker
Hairy Hauser. ah So anyways, hamster sucking off this bottle. And we see in the background that Cy has ah Nina's family photos all over like his house, like it so on his counters and shit.
00:32:11
Speaker
Yeah. Well, the wall has not been unveiled yet, but it's coming. And then we see Nina and Will in an argument because they're overspent on money. But Nina says that Will's just neglectful emotionally and as a father. My father.
00:32:26
Speaker
My father was a photo developer.
00:32:32
Speaker
yeah dude. um You want to know how I got these scars? The cyan was 0.3 on the developer.
00:32:44
Speaker
Need a shift. We cut to Cy watching The Simpsons and someone's trying to kill Bart. Bort. Bort Jork.
00:32:56
Speaker
Bort Jork. And they're like, oh, it's someone least the person you least expect. And then it pans over. And this homeboy, Cy, has a full wall. Like, I got the fucking movie wall. He got the full wall of family photos of not his family.
00:33:09
Speaker
No, of just the Yorkins. The Yorkins. He's jorking it to the Yorkins. Yeah, he is. Which is kind of... it's that It's this time where you're like, this guy's a little sus. you know like so why Someone might want to put a cop outside this guy's house.
00:33:26
Speaker
The next day, he opens Save Mart, and there's a narration that Mondays are the busiest days, and we see the cat lady. There's an an insurance adjuster. There's a newborn parent. He's not like newly born as a parent. Like he just had a newborn.
00:33:39
Speaker
So they're taking a lot of pictures. if There's a nurse who does like cosmetic surgeries. And then there's an amateur porn artist. And we see tit. It's not nice tit, but it's tit. Some of the ugliest women I've ever seen.
00:33:51
Speaker
Honestly. But it's tit. um Then we see the mechanic for this fucking photo processing mini lab thing is getting is pissed off. He got called in for a minuscule ah plus point three blue cyan shift.
00:34:08
Speaker
I mean, I'd be pretty pissed, too, you know? Yeah. And him and Cy are getting tiffy about the cyan. Yeah. So that's what's going on here. Down and dirty with my cyans.
00:34:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. don't know what that means. Neither do I. ah So the mechanic leaves and then Bill, right? His name is Bill the boss. His name is Bill. not willing bill He asks about this beef he's got with the mechanic and he's like, you check yourself, bro.
00:34:37
Speaker
Where you at in the food chain? This isn't your store, buddy. You're a fucking photo clerk. Like, shut up. what He was calling them his customers, right? Yeah. And he's like, they're not your customers. They're safe. bar They're customers of Jesus Christ. Yeah.
00:34:51
Speaker
I mean, that seems a little odd. Like, I don't think anybody like in a grocery store. Oh, like that's my customer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Cause I really give a fuck about you. You know i mean?
00:35:04
Speaker
I'm just here for the money. That's fair. That's fair, dude. You know, uh,
00:35:12
Speaker
they Also, they're in the break room, and he tells, ah this is kind of clunky the way this whole thing happened, but he tells Cy to take some time off, some earned vacation pay off. And then he's about to walk He's like, your break ended 30 minutes ago. what the fuck are you doing in here?
00:35:25
Speaker
So it's like, you're yelling at him, then you're like oh you should take some time off. Then you're like yelling at him again, and it's just, it was weird. Hey, Cy, I want to take your hood off. Yeah. Have you ever considered... to that's That's the new thing they're going around spreading fucking whatever Christianity. Have you considered taking your hood off? Are you sitting on pamphlets? like Oh my god. We're going door to door.
00:35:45
Speaker
Make sure every dick in America is clipped. Scan this QR code to so to watch a full surgery to know what you're getting into. Oh man. ah Oh, so Cy leaves the break room and he runs into Will, who has some questions in like the computer area section. And he's like, sorry, i'm my specialty is um photos.
00:36:06
Speaker
So he can't help him. And he gets a fucking random jerk off to help him. And he's telling Will that he's so lucky to have a ah beautiful house and a family. And Will's like, yeah, right.
00:36:19
Speaker
And then I mean, how do you know this? And Cy walks away and he runs into Jake and Jake has a Evangelion toy. What is this? Do we know?
00:36:29
Speaker
Okay. That's gay. Will tells Jake they're leaving and there's no more toys. And he tells ah Jake not to talk strangers anymore. We should talk to strangers, especially 50 year old men with fucking bleach blonde hair. That's weird.
00:36:44
Speaker
Yeah. Why'd they give him bleach blonde hair? It's weird. It's very strange. You think Robin Williams idea? um Y'all bleach my hair?
00:36:55
Speaker
I would say we could ask him, but we can't. R.I.P. um We miss you. So, you think if Robin Williams was... Because he died in 2014, it said on Letterboxd. If he was still alive by now, he have been in a Marvel movie.
00:37:10
Speaker
Because, like, who hasn't fucking been in a Marvel movie yet? That's a good question. Who would he be? I could see him being like the voice of like... He'd be Dr. Jorkin. I don't think he'd be like in person.
00:37:21
Speaker
I think he would probably be like ah someone... A voice actor? A voice actor. But Jeff Goldblum was in it. He was. And so has Christian Bale's been in one now, you know? yeah Yeah. So I guess you can be old and be in it. Natalie Portman?
00:37:35
Speaker
Yeah, she's not that old. No, but she's the fucking... I mean, she still has a piece. kind of falling off a little bit but she still a piece. She should be crying. Jake's probably hard right now listening to this. Yeah. Just hearing us say, Nally, for me. Is that a guy's name?
00:37:47
Speaker
Not the kid Jake, like our friend Jake. Yeah. Yeah, he's definitely not listening. No, he's fucking fake. Yeah. Um... So I will say I, a lot of edits online.
00:38:02
Speaker
ah you see a lot of fan theories about Robin one being the Joker. That to me seems like the most obvious layup. Him or Defoe? As the Joker? Yeah. In a movie?
00:38:14
Speaker
Where, where else would it be? TV show? Oh, I don't, I mean, I don't watch TV shows. That's why I wasn't even considering it. Will Defoe, I could see pretty good. Cause Green Goblin is Joker-esque.
00:38:29
Speaker
Yeah, it is. So, uh, size, we're walking around some flea market and, uh, he talks about photos capture moment in time. Uh, they just parked outside their house.
00:38:42
Speaker
Oh, he buys a, he buys a random photo here, a random ass photo. It's not like very strange. Also, who the fuck is just selling random photos at a fucking flea market of people, of real people.
00:38:53
Speaker
Get the bag. Where'd you get those from? What you think they sell? A dollar a piece? dollar a photo? Half less than that. I wouldn't even pay it. For what he bought, I wouldn't pay a dollar. Fuck that. Fitty? Yeah. Maybe a nickel?
00:39:05
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Then he's just parked outside their house, um and he goes inside and looks at their photos, which he already has.
00:39:17
Speaker
Which is... Yeah. And they're like, my selfie made on the fridge. Sick. And then he... Then he goes and takes a dump in their bathroom. i mean, talk about fully committing. He almost sees peace.
00:39:29
Speaker
Almost. And then he's a beer on the couch. He's watching some fucking football game ah when the family arrives home. And you think, oh he's going to get caught. But he's wearing different fucking clothing. So it's like this is a ah dream scenario. Yeah, he's dreaming. They're not actually excited to see him because if they saw him, the dad's probably going to shoot him.
00:39:51
Speaker
ah And when they see him, they're actually happy to see him in this fucking dream scenario. And then it cuts back and he's in the car and he leaves. Then we see, we cut to save Mart and Maya wants one print inside. says she looks familiar, but he can't put his finger on it.
00:40:09
Speaker
ah And she's not able to pick up the prints for a couple of days. And we cut to Jake at soccer practice where the coach is like, you got to make it in. You got envision where the ball's going to go. got to kick it.
00:40:21
Speaker
and Meanwhile, this kid's like, what, like seven or eight? Or she said it's going to be nine. Yeah, and he doesn't do that, and he misses or whatever because he sucks. And...
00:40:31
Speaker
and don't be too hard on the kids at that age, you know? Like, this kid's not going to be the next fucking... Ronaldo. He's white. Come on. This guy ain't making it anywhere in life. No. Relax. He's fucked. Yeah. um And when he misses, for some reason, on the bleacher, his size there, just him, and he cheers him on.
00:40:50
Speaker
And then practice ends, and he offers us to go talk to Coach for being hard on him, and and Jake's like, no. You got a problem with Coach being hard on?
00:41:01
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. That coach is wiener. Is it bothering you? You got real beef with that. Is it weird that every time he yells at you, he gets hard? Just my, just my observations. Now, Jake, are you getting hard?
00:41:16
Speaker
Yeah. Uh, cause I can help you. Call me. Take my card. Take my card. Here. Sigh the penis guy. That's me. Sigh the penis guy. Yeah. I'm currently only accepting clipped patients.
00:41:31
Speaker
Yeah. Uh, So he walks Jake home a little bit of a ways and then he says that he had no...
00:41:40
Speaker
Too many phone calls today. I'll be right. We'll be right back. Hello. We're back. Again. Just heard someone out there. Fucking stop it. yeah
00:41:53
Speaker
Nox is fucking...
00:41:58
Speaker
Just listen to this ad break because we got to go again. fuck Stupid. Hello, you're now in an ad read. Gerald's sick of regurgitating the same lines at the beginning and the end of the episode. So here we are in the middle.
00:42:11
Speaker
So here's one one nice ad read to check all our shit out. plugy and plugin So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod, send any comments, concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com.
00:42:25
Speaker
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00:42:40
Speaker
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00:42:51
Speaker
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00:43:04
Speaker
And then go listen to our physical media podcast. Yeah, you want it? available on the same page. Do you fucking want it or not? And before we end this ad read, shout out to Jackson behavioral health. All this will be linked in the description below.
00:43:21
Speaker
Click it and stick it. And now back to the episode. Now we're going to ad free the rest of the episode. Hopefully disturbance free, but that's still up in the air.
00:43:33
Speaker
Um, so he tell, he's telling fucking Jake that, you know, he was sick all the time as a kid and he had mono and hepatitis and a collarbone injury. Where are getting mono? Who are you kissing? Huh? You can't, you fucking get around. Unfortunately, he's kissing dad. unfortunate Yeah. Yeah.
00:43:48
Speaker
Unfortunately, he's kissing that big. Uh, and Jake's dad's never around. Uh, and then Cy gives Jake the, an Evangeline action figure out of his car and size is he can't accept it because his parents said no. And he leaves. Um,
00:44:03
Speaker
My parents won't allow this. They said I can't take candy, dick, or toys from strangers. They know that I put dick and action figures in my butt. Yeah. And that's not healthy for my rectum.
00:44:15
Speaker
quite Why did that kind of sound like that one, uh, the one dude from Split, the one personality? Oh, Hedwig? Shout out to Patreon. Bonus movie this week. Movie review is split. We continue the train 138, what the fuck it's called, trilogy. Coming out on Friday.
00:44:34
Speaker
The railing train on your mom trilogy. I mean, literally, words I'm so far off. This is has already happened at this point. You already got that. So I'm sorry. Hopefully you enjoyed that.
00:44:44
Speaker
Go subscribe to Patreon. Yeah. money so cut to the the uh food court in a mall remember how nice food courts used to be back in the day food was the shit they're cooked now this is a shit that 90s kids only remember i feel like 2000s kids you ain't gonna get this experience ah and imagine 2026 like people that are like in like middle school now they don't even know what a mall is are like being born now yeah like they don't kids being born now won't even know what a penny is No, no idea. crazy Yeah. ah Nina's talking the phone to her sister saying, or Jan, I don't if it's her sister not, but she says, love you. So it's probably someone she's related to.
00:45:27
Speaker
And she doesn't call her mom. So it's probably a sister or a cousin. And she says that she's noticed a weird shift. And then Cy just walks over. She's like, Hey, Hey, just so you na public.
00:45:39
Speaker
Just so you know, I'm eating here. Also, my hair is bleached. Yeah. Uh... Not for the movie. Yeah. I'm Robin Williams. I just wanted to change the scenery.
00:45:54
Speaker
Also, it was so obvious that they shaved his hair back. Yeah. Like, just here, like a little pouch, because Robin Williams that fucking strong hairline on him. You know what I Uh...
00:46:05
Speaker
So she hangs with the phone and she's talking to him. He's been doing photos for a while. Their phones for a while. And he's like, I feel like uncle side. And she's like, oh like du oh the security I gotta, I gotta go. And then when, when did they show the book?
00:46:22
Speaker
When was this a thing? The first visit she had the book. She had it in like in her purse and he like, he noticed it. Yeah. I didn't peep it. Yeah. Cause she's little uggos to me. It's a drama.
00:46:35
Speaker
Kinda like the drama. The book. i Yes. Hey, I saw you reading that book, bruv. I'ma read it too. So I ain't read that shit. That shit kind of gay.
00:46:46
Speaker
a ain't gonna lie. That shit kind of gay. That shit's for blokes. They call people in fucking England i think you're blokes. Yeah, that's for men who like to wank other men's willies.
00:47:00
Speaker
You wanna take a toke off my bloke? Yeah. ah You fucking willy wanker.
00:47:09
Speaker
I listened to that thing that day. i don't know what clip it was from, but like his dick's probably like...
00:47:17
Speaker
Someone's dick flopping around or whatever. So this bitch is going to leave and he pulled out the book. She's like, oh, sure You got the path to love book. Oh, shit.
00:47:27
Speaker
Damn. My pussy's dripping. She's like, oh, shit. This guy no game. Huh? I'm going to down real quick. Get the bleached hair. Huh?
00:47:38
Speaker
Yo. Side of photo guy, no ball. Oh, oh. He's sitting there flipping the page he's like, us, us.
00:47:48
Speaker
You're like this. son. Yeah. So. This guy about to fucking drop 40 in my pussy all night. Oh, my God. um so anyways, she's.
00:48:04
Speaker
They're talking about whatever, and he shows her that random picture he has. He's like, yeah, that's my mom. She's dead now. She's like, ugh, sorry. Yeah. um Then we cut, and he's wearing those fucking gear. He's masked up.
00:48:20
Speaker
He's doing, like, the photo... pro He's called it SRS, photo processing. I don't know what the fuck this is. He's pouring chemicals. He can't be breathing in and shit. Yeah, he's got, like, the little fucking gamete. Maybe that's why he's off, like, the spray, because he's fucking around chemicals all the time.
00:48:32
Speaker
He's got, like, fucking...
00:48:36
Speaker
Brain fucked. Sick. No, I don't know what it's called. So say brain fog, but like, yeah. ah Bill's watching on the camera and calls him into the office and he's like, so what were you doing in there? Huh?
00:48:51
Speaker
What were you doing? Huh? You fucking the chemicals? Huh? Yeah. That's weird. Yeah. It was weird. Yeah.
00:48:59
Speaker
He was doing SRS, he says. and Super retarded shit. Yeah. Hell yeah. And Bill's like, there's been a click discrepancy. And he says, the shutdown clicks are off.
00:49:12
Speaker
What does that of this mean? I don't know. Don't know. ah And Cy's like, well, what if it's the counter? you know And Bill's like, well, the mechanic said he's never seen a faulty counter in 15 years or what fuck he's been working on.
00:49:26
Speaker
fucking loser, bro. Yeah. And they're missing hundreds of prints. Hundreds. And Bill's like, I'm pretty sure you're in on this. He's like, no, I'm not.
00:49:36
Speaker
He's like, well, you're fired. You're fucking he's like, even if you're not, you take 90-minute lunch breaks and you are giving out free merchandise, which is fucked. So, shoo-shoo.
00:49:47
Speaker
Ta-ta. Boy, soy. I'm replacing you with a knight our main boy, Yoshi. Yoshi. Yoshi. Yeah, now he's Cy the fired guy. Yeah. yeah He tells him to finish out the week. If he does any fucked up shit, he's going to be done. And Cy he hasn't fucked up a print in 11 years. I wonder what happened 11 years ago.
00:50:10
Speaker
Because he's been doing it for 20. So what happened 11 years ago? Maybe this happened again. Maybe he had like a changed identity. Interesting.
00:50:21
Speaker
Uh, we cut and sighed like picking up a blank photo off the ground when Nina shows up and she wants to get Jake's birthday gift processed. Ayo! Yo! yo Yeah, you punch this through for me or what? Oh my god. Yeah, we did some crazy shit on the Six Flags roller coasters, bro. Ha ha ha!
00:50:45
Speaker
You're going want to see this. Yo, Cy, wait till you see these photos, bro. They're crazy. Crazy,
00:50:54
Speaker
dude. Yo, mom was giving me straight sloppy top on the skyline, bro. Yeah, she went up and down.
00:51:06
Speaker
ah So they're trying to be cordial with Cy, but he seems off like the spray. And he asked them for their address, which he knew the top of his head like 30 minutes ago. Yeah.
00:51:20
Speaker
And Nina asks he's alright. And he's like, yeah, I'm good. I'll have them done tomorrow. So you can come back tomorrow. And they leave. And then he smashes the camera in the back room. And then we see him sitting in the cut corner looking at these photos that Jake took. And he's crying. This is definitely been my fucking cock.
00:51:37
Speaker
My fucking nice little fucking hole. ah Jake's or mom's? I will leave that up to the viewer to decide. There you go. You know? um Mom's hole?
00:51:51
Speaker
A little used. Could be beefy. Could be beefy. I feel like her and Will aren't fucking, so she's probably not taking care of that shit really right now. No, it's like bush, but like too much to the point where it's like a grizzly bear.
00:52:04
Speaker
We see Cy looking at the the photo wall with the magnifying glass, and there was some like outing they had for the Yorkens where Maya was there. Yeah. Which is crazy. Then you go to bring your mistress, like, to your family gathering. It's like how close to the sun can you get?
00:52:21
Speaker
Maybe that's what gets them off, though. Right. It's definitely not fucking a kid. We're so close. to My wife want to do it in my son's bed? Yeah.
00:52:32
Speaker
Yeah. It's too bad I have a fucking race car bed something. That'd be crazy. Yeah. Just fucking a race car bed. If I ever like, if I was like, you know, a middle school or something, if I ever went over to someone's house and they had a fucking. Right now?
00:52:45
Speaker
No. No. Hi, I'm Gerald. Yeah. If I ever went to like someone's house and race car bed, I'd probably make fun of them. Yeah.
00:52:55
Speaker
Back then? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, we're an hour in. Um. Yeah, but the movie's almost over. It's fine. i I feel like it's not.
00:53:05
Speaker
I feel like it is. Okay. feel like you got 30 minutes left movie time. Sure. So he goes into the save more after hours and he's like, he looks through her photos and she's got all these photos of Will and he's having an affair and this is when like the screen has like the the red tinge to it.
00:53:25
Speaker
um And then he leaves these photos for Nina to pick up. Then he leaves it's like the middle of the shift. But he went there at night. So I don't really know what happened there. but Dude's there all night.
00:53:38
Speaker
Tells Yoshi he's leaving. And he's not coming back because he got fired. And Yoshi's like, hey man, thanks for teaching me. That's why you're always nice to the weird kid. And Casey comes back and starts to shoot at school. That's true. At least you were nice to him. Yoshi's the safest one in this movie. hundred percent 100%. He's about to leave, but he walks by like the fucking...
00:53:59
Speaker
Redneck area and he steals a knife. Redneck area? Yeah. Outdoorsy area. Yeah. Like the camping aisle.
00:54:10
Speaker
What other aisle can you get? Toilet paper, a tent, and a knife. I got a voicemail and we're going play on the podcast right now. Oh, wow. Five. To collect a bit more information needed for your workers' comp claim.
00:54:23
Speaker
This call may be recorded. Am I speaking with Nicholas? That's the whole thing. It sounded cut off. That's all it was. That's to the... Is that your personal or the podcast one?
00:54:37
Speaker
That wass my personal email. My personal phone number. Our voicemail is no longer a thing anymore. don't know if we talked about that or not. It expired. That's why I posted on the podcast story the screenshot of the email we had.
00:54:51
Speaker
and I was like, leave us a voicemail. It's going expire. That shit is expired. Damn. Which is unfortunate because we have, ah oh my AIDS in my mouth. Hold on.
00:55:10
Speaker
Let me get to it. Let me get to this nice little... Google Voice. your Your Google Voice number, 5088 DipTip, has expired. This ticket from your Google Voice number has expired. All of your existing messages remain available to your account, but you're no longer at it receive or make calls.
00:55:25
Speaker
Thank you, Google Voice team. And that's fine. So now we're not offering anymore. Now it's done. No more voicemails. It's over. I guess we got to cut that out of the... We'll just make a fucking new one.
00:55:39
Speaker
Yeah. But it's going to be in this one, so it's fine. ah So, he's parked outside safe. Mario watches Nina go in and out with the photos and he follows them. And I guess they open the envelope of photos in the car and she almost crashes the car because she sees that Will's a dirty cheater. oh my God. This girl's hotter than me.
00:56:01
Speaker
Yeah, she is. They continue driving and Cy follows them to the home and they're eating dinner and there's like no fight or argument yet. And Cy's mad, so he drives off.
00:56:13
Speaker
And he goes home and he's watching some movie that I don't know what it is. Some blind and white? Yeah. It's probably some bullshit like the Maltese Falcon. Yeah.
00:56:28
Speaker
He's just staring at the fucking wall, and you see him scratching. We'll talk about that when i happen when they reveal it, but he does some stuff. ah We cut, and Cy has a dream he's just in an empty store. This is like King Station, bro. Your favorite shit.
00:56:43
Speaker
And then his eyes start bleeding, he wakes up. The next day, Cy pulls up to someplace. He's somewhere, which we won't say yet. And he has a family photo of Nina and Will and Jake on his keychain, which is weird. um And there's narration about the history of the word snapshot.
00:57:07
Speaker
It initially meant to like hunt something. It was a snapshot and he's taking photos. so You think he's hunting. Who is he hunting? I'll give you a hint. A little kid. yeah I mean. That's not wrong.
00:57:17
Speaker
No, it's not. And I'm just wondering what the definition of snatch shot is. Snatch shot. Either a photo of your snatch or you're gluing all over a snatch. Yeah.
00:57:31
Speaker
Because mine's actual glue. Like it's just straight crazy glue. So like yeah it's getting sealed. Like, I wonder if I could just, like, fucking cum on the wall and make that stick for the steelbooks. And stop buying stuff.
00:57:42
Speaker
In this economy? Yeah, but then the back of your steelbook is going to peel off. The back shot of my steelbook. Yeah, you're going peeling off cum off your steelbooks. I think that'd be great. Sounds like a good time.
00:57:53
Speaker
Be like, oh my god, there goes John Kramer's face. Yeah, I'm just cumming on Tucker and Dale. Yeah, all of them. Yeah. Um... Next scene, Cy walks into Save Mart and he's dropping off some film and Bill's like, you can't shop here, Cy.
00:58:09
Speaker
And Cy's like, I can't. Why can't I? And they mentioned earlier, Cy lives pretty far away from Save Mart. And Bill's like, you wouldn't drive all way here just to fuck with me. um And Cy's like, look, man. sure about that, Bill?
00:58:22
Speaker
You sure about that, little Billy? um But Cy knows that the machine they have there is... He calibrated himself as the best one in the area. So he wants that one. We cut and see Cy spying on Will and Maya. They kiss him and shit him in a nice car.
00:58:39
Speaker
ah We cut and Yoshi brings Cy's photos of Bill. ah Sorry, said that wrong. Yoshi brings...
00:58:50
Speaker
the photos that Cy wanted, uh, processed to Bill and Bill opens it up and it's a Bill's daughter. Uh, because i can't say that, but because size car maybe has a lot of miles, he's looking for something.
00:59:09
Speaker
Yeah. He's looking for a Oh four, whatever fucking just came out. Oh two. Yeah. You know, a little something something a little more economical. Fuck that. he did That he came out in August.
00:59:21
Speaker
That he can pound some miles on. He's looking for something he can summer slam. Yeah. I better have the auxiliary port.
00:59:31
Speaker
Yeah, fuck that Bluetooth. I like connection. They definitely did have Bluetooth in 03, right? No way. Do you remember those Johns, though, that were like Bluetooth? Well, they weren't Bluetooth. You'd plug it into the cigarette lighter, and it would tell you what radio station to go to, you could play aux. Yeah, it's kind like... What fuck was that, though?
00:59:51
Speaker
and don't know. It was like a radio transmitter, but it was like it was kind of like the things that they use in drive-in. can't trans, that's offensive. It was kind of like the when you go to a drive-in movie theater.
01:00:03
Speaker
Yeah, yes, you're right. Tune into this radio. um Joke's on you. I'm not listening. I'm fucking someone in the back of my sedan.
01:00:15
Speaker
We Cy watches Maya. We'll go into this hotel. And then those these detectives show up to save more asking questions about Cy. And Bill moved his wife and his kid to his mother's house.
01:00:28
Speaker
And the cop, the black one, thinks that the photos are just a warning. And he says there's a APB out for Cy's car, which is APB.
01:00:39
Speaker
Yes, which is not a child. It's a car. Cops go to Cy's apartment and they see his big ass photo wall. And every picture of Will has his face scribbled out.
01:00:50
Speaker
So they also be only wants Maya and Jake. Yeah, and they see a Christmas card to get their name, Yorkin'. Holy Jorkin'. Oh my God.
01:01:02
Speaker
oh my Oh my Gorkin'. So, Cy... This shit is how you know 2000s because it would never fucking work today. Cy calls the hotel.
01:01:14
Speaker
ah He calls... Who the fuck does he call? Like the... He calls... Room service? No. He calls the they calls them first.
01:01:26
Speaker
Calls them to find out, like pretending to be room service to find out what yeah number they're in. And he's like, yeah, 213. They're like, no, it's 511. Dopey. And they're like, oh, right. Close to 911.
01:01:40
Speaker
Right. And then he calls room service and cancels their order. no one comes in. So they can he can take his photos. Uh, detectives go to visit Nina and tell her that they need to speak with her husband. Will right now. Where's Will?
01:01:56
Speaker
then Cy goes to the front desk and asks for, uh, a room key. oh for a room, not for room key. And, uh, he wants on the fifth floor. Uh, Nina calls work, but Will isn't there because was a secretary who's a dude. That's kind of a sick job. Uh,
01:02:13
Speaker
Nina sees the scratched out photo. They've they've shown it to her. Cy gets in the elevator. Detective advised Nina to have Jake come home from Eric's house. Oh my gosh. Jake and Eric are hanging out together.
01:02:25
Speaker
um And then I wrote, Cy blocks the jaw and the sea out of the door. peephole? The peephole. Yeah.
01:02:36
Speaker
But he's peeping. Blocks that whole jaw in the wall. You know what mean? Right. And then... Glory hole? Will's secretary tells Nina that he can't get a hold of Will. She's like, look, I know he's fucking Maya, but where's he at, though?
01:02:48
Speaker
yeah yeah I don't care. They're just cheating on me. Where they fucking? Where they at, though? Sinox in the door and tells him they have to sign for their fucking food. and Then he breaks the fucking door in.
01:03:02
Speaker
Break him down, bitch. Yeah, he's back at AEW. And he's fucking lying, Salton, and shit. Uh...
01:03:12
Speaker
Will's naked. They were fucking. And he tells them to close the drapes. and you see Will's piece. Small. Yeah, i didn't pause it to look at it. but I rewound it. Oh, yeah, you did? I did. You see that fucking schmick, kid? i just I need to know what people are working with so I can look at my own and go, I'm small or I'm big.
01:03:28
Speaker
And the answer is I'm small. so this guy Compared to this guy? Yeah. Wow. I got a small piece. Alright, so if anyone wants to know what penis looks like, look at Will's piece in this movie.
01:03:40
Speaker
And then, like, decrease the size by, like, probably, like, half? Okay, well half's aggressive, but yeah. Yeah, maybe a third? Yeah. Um... And then Will goes to cover himself up, and he's like, no, did I fucking tell you to do that? Yeah. No, I didn't. told you close the curtains, not fucking put a towel around you, fucking towel man.
01:04:01
Speaker
You fucking Arab. um He makes look on the bed and he starts like touching fucking homegirls. I so can tell you to do that.
01:04:12
Speaker
Maya has insane bush. Yeah. Crazy bush. Right. So does he like way too much. Yeah. He's got like he got oh, too. Bush. Yeah. Right. ah But he was like, hey, man, I ain't shaven.
01:04:25
Speaker
I'm clean. it's Pussy clean. Don't worry, man. i don't have AIDS. So Cy says they keep fucking touching each other. He's going stab her in the heart.
01:04:37
Speaker
Detective her and went to the hospital. Then he tells Miles to take her robe off and she refuses at first. but he's like I'll fucking kill you, bitch. So she takes it off. he's like and And he has them pose, um but no touching. And he's taking photos. And he tells her, put a sting in your mouth.
01:04:53
Speaker
He literally says thing. Yeah. ah And do you think he was just like in real life calling it a thing? Probably. Hey, I'm probably going to eat my thing. Yeah.
01:05:04
Speaker
Eat my thing real quick. He'd probably do some stupid voice. Like, want to see my thing? Want to see my thing?
01:05:12
Speaker
ah And then she goes like actually suck this guy's soft little dick. And he's like, no, it's pretend, dummy. Don't actually stick it in there. You would suck a penis?
01:05:23
Speaker
Oh, dad did. The horror. The horror.
01:05:28
Speaker
Cut to Nina and Jake at home with the police. Cy goes back to his hotel room. I don't know what he thought house was going to work, but like they've connected the dots motherfucker pretty quick. Detectives talk to the front desk and show him a photo of Cy. They got a room key and Cy is able to see the cop car outside. So he tries to to go escape.
01:05:47
Speaker
The detectives go to break in his fucking door. He ain't there. um Cy's about to walk out the front door, but there's a fucking officer standing there. Obviously, it's the front door. You dumbass.
01:05:59
Speaker
So he goes to the conference room, and they're having a retinal implant a convention. I'm sick. The retinal implant? My fucking cock implant in your mouth. How you doing?
01:06:10
Speaker
Yeah, implant my seed. ah So he runs through. seed? Call me a straight shooter. You are a straight shooter, um He interrupts this fucking convention to walk through it, runs through a kitchen, ah through a parking lot, eventually gets surrounded by the cops.
01:06:28
Speaker
And ah the detective finds Maya just sitting in the shower. And Will's sitting in the bed wrapped up. Now he's like, oh, fuck. Damn, my peace is out.
01:06:41
Speaker
And Cy gets arrested. He's like, I was just taking pictures. What's the problem? Oh, I don't know. Maybe that you were like forcing them into like sexual like abuse.
01:06:52
Speaker
In his defense, they were already fucking. yeah It wasn't like, hey, you, fuck this random person you have never had intercourse with before. Okay, they were they were forced to have sex at knife point. That's probably the problem.
01:07:06
Speaker
They were forced to not touch each other at knife point. Yeah. To me, not a crime. I'm i just just kidding. To me, sounds like Thursday. Yeah.
01:07:18
Speaker
Something later. ah Cut to Nina and Jake. They're at home when the doorbell rings and it's Will. And Jake's like, Daddy! ah But, you know. So you don't think she told...
01:07:32
Speaker
her son, that what was happening. Like, Hey, your dad's cheating on I think the photos, maybe he could connect the dots, but he's fucking nine. So I don't know what the fuck he thinks it is. I don't know what nine. Nowadays, nine year olds probably know that.
01:07:43
Speaker
Right. I don't think I knew but that back then. I mean, you are the one that showed me Pornhub.
01:07:51
Speaker
That was like 12, 13 maybe. You brought your laptop over. You were like, yo, check this out. And I have not been the same since. ah I'm the problem. a little bit.
01:08:04
Speaker
I think she said nothing to preserve for the kid, for the sake of the kid. I think maybe she's thinking like, you know, I don't want to get divorced and fuck this kid's life up because daddy's cheater. Yeah, because they stay together.
01:08:15
Speaker
Yeah. So we're back this conversation with the detective and fucking sigh from before. what are you doing? You're fucking bouncing down over there. My leg. Yeah, I got the the nervous leg tap.
01:08:26
Speaker
So he's asking if he's ah if he's married, the detective is, or if he has any children or family. He's like, bro, I'm black.
01:08:36
Speaker
kind question you asked me this for? I don't know family. I abandoned that shit. Yeah. I'm like Michael Jackson, bro. My name used to be, it was never Robin Williams. it was like Rontez.
01:08:48
Speaker
Yeah. I'm trying to look for a thick fucking bumblecloth bitch. Yeah. going at Yeah. um They call big teens and goal. Yeah. Just fucking. Yeah.
01:09:00
Speaker
Pull my big teens. So, Cy's guessing that, you know, he's like, I'm guessing you wouldn't cheat on your wife or you wouldn't make your kids do horrible things and then make your, take photos of your kids doing the aforementioned horrible things to your penis, butthole, you know, like.
01:09:20
Speaker
You probably wouldn't do that. This is, you know, we're having a silly ha-ha moment, but this is some really good acting on Robin Williams' part here. Because it's Robin Williams, to be honest. Robin Williams.
01:09:32
Speaker
um And then he finishes his little piece and the detective is like, you know, he stands up and just bust all over the black guy's face. Yeah.
01:09:43
Speaker
Hey, you like it. Yeah. Want me to a picture? The detective says he gets it. ah But Cy still wants to see his photos. which to detect Oh, my God. Where did you go? You're back.
01:09:58
Speaker
I'm here. What happened? Did we lose? Are we still on? Hello? We're live. We're in the final minutes of all this. You just went Green Bean again. That's crazy. um Well, my notes are gone.
01:10:11
Speaker
Your squigglies are here. Okay. my Well, I must have like had something internet problem. because my You must have had something slip in. Yeah, what you mean. All right, let's finish this. ah So he's looking at his photos. It's just random shit. You know, it's his whole thing. It's like no one pays attention to other things in life besides other moments or whatever. Yeah, everything is just rape.
01:10:33
Speaker
So that's how life is. And then you Just getting raped every day. Yeah, raw dog in it.
Film Ratings and Future Plans
01:10:41
Speaker
So, what are you going to rate it? Big Cheese? So, this is my third. I remember last time I said I've watched it like seven times. This is only my third time watching it.
01:10:50
Speaker
You only even logged once, you fucking. No. Fucking liar. You fucking. I'll prove it to you. I guess doesn't show you all the logs.
01:11:01
Speaker
I'll show you. there is two. see September of 24. yeah Yeah. ah So I haven't seen it in like two years.
01:11:12
Speaker
So bitch, I'm going to keep my four star rating. You're going to keep it, huh? This movie is the acting's really good. The only thing that like really holds it back is I feel like there's a, there's a lot of scenes of just like nothing.
01:11:31
Speaker
It's a slow burn. It's a bar and burner. Yeah. But there's a lot of scenes where there's like no dialogue either. So it's like little strange. Yeah. I also had it at a four. I'm dropping mine to a three and a half.
01:11:46
Speaker
That's fine. It's a solid three and a half star movie for me. A little quick 96 minute John. He's definitely a fucking weirdo. So you own it? Yeah. I watched physical copy today. Okay. Good.
01:11:57
Speaker
Yeah, I bought it at some point. That's why I was saying it was on Yeah, You Want It for something. I think you got it for me, maybe. Probably. I mean, it's more so like... ah
01:12:09
Speaker
I probably wouldn't have been intrigued with it if it wasn't Robin Williams. You know what i mean? This movie gave me big Rent-A-Pal vibes. little bit. If you like ah this movie.
01:12:22
Speaker
ah Next week... I guess. Holy fuck. That's late. Okay. Next week, ah i guess it's Cinco de Mayo.
01:12:33
Speaker
ah ah So we had a lot of debate on what we were going to do for Cinco de Mayo. But ah we're doing A New Hope. That's what we're doing next. Star Wars Episode 4. We're real close on one year of one of our funniest clips we got out there about Ayo Secura's little fucking dongles that I want to suck on quick. And there's a good chance something could happen in this one. Who knows?
01:12:59
Speaker
I mean, we went from talking about her dongles to us riding kids like it was an economy. And then we might go to incest. We might. So that's next week. And the week after that is Hokum, which I got an advanced screening ticket for tomorrow, Alamo.
01:13:14
Speaker
Oh, wow. And I was like, oopsie, we're not recording that for like two more weeks. I'll go see you it again. a There's no way I'll be able to speak on a fucking movie that I saw two weeks ago.
01:13:25
Speaker
And to be fair, if it's really bad, you could just be like, we're not doing an episode on it. Yeah, we could do one of movies we've been saying we want to do. Yeah. So that's next week and the week after that.
01:13:38
Speaker
ah Here he is. Jake, you're on the podcast and we know you just tried to call Gerald. Hi, friends. Yeah, hold on. We're just going end the podcast really quick unless you have something to say.
01:13:52
Speaker
I don't. Okay, we'll see you guys on Tuesday. widow Fuck you, Mark. I'm going to fucking take a photo of you and stick it my butt. okay