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You Don't Actually Want More Money, You Want The Feeling Of Safety (The Key To Attracting More Wealth) image

You Don't Actually Want More Money, You Want The Feeling Of Safety (The Key To Attracting More Wealth)

E27 · She's Next Level
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26 Plays2 months ago

Everyone desires to have more money in their lives, but what happens if you lose your job? Or worse lost all of it? Would you still feel safe, good enough, happy and at peace with where you're at? If not, this episode is for you to help you shift your perspective and relationship with detaching your sense of safety that is tied to money. I did this my entire life without realizing this, until a few months ago I've had to ride the emotional roller coaster of uncertainty with not having any income since June of 2025. I finally feel more at peace with where I'm currently at in my life and my finances.

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Transcript

Introduction to Money and Financial Security

00:00:00
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome back to the She's Next Level podcast. Today i am very excited. I'm always excited in every podcast episode I talk about because it's always so relevant to me, but I know it's going to be super helpful for you too.
00:00:15
Speaker
Because we're going to talk about money and we're going to talk about this idea of the essence of

Emotional Meanings of Money

00:00:22
Speaker
wanting more money. If you are in my world, then you are either an entrepreneur and you know how that is in the journey of being an entrepreneur, or you currently work a nine to five and you are planning to start your own business and maybe eventually even venture out in the entrepreneurial journey and path. And I think this is so important and for us to differentiate the Meaning behind money and like what it actually means and really understand the root causes and the root feelings that we actually want to experience because underneath everything that you want physically in your life or even emotionally There is an emotional root cause feeling there is a feeling underneath the physical thing that you want like money. And so that's why we named this podcast episode, why I actually realized I don't want more money, but I actually want to feel more safe.
00:01:13
Speaker
And as a feminine core woman, and my entire community is filled with women, that's who I'm speaking to. Women essentially want to feel safe. That's what really allows you to relax into your feminine core essence and really allow you to move more through alignment and ease. So it was really interesting because the idea and inspiration behind this episode was actually intuitive. It really just came through in my head.
00:01:39
Speaker
And I really felt this like emotion behind it. And I was like, holy shit. Sometimes like some of the things that I lived through, i don't realize that I could teach and I could share. And so this is going to be really interesting to talk about it because, yeah, it's just so prominent. It has been one of the biggest obstacles and one of the biggest like pain in the asses. But also one of the biggest things that my soul wants me to master is finances. And so...

Intentional Money Management Practices

00:02:06
Speaker
Essentially, the idea came through when I was doing a money date, which I call it a money date, but it's basically once every week I sit down with my money and i look at my money, I manage my money, i move my money around, I have different accounts that I move my money and organize my money, letting go of any subscriptions or anything that is not relevant to me anymore. And really just being clear and and more intentional is the word I want to say, more intentional with my money. Because again, if you've never heard this before, or if you've heard this before, going to say it again, is that your relationship with money determines everything in the way that you receive it, the way that you hold it, the way that you grow it and create it the way that you feel around money. So I know a lot of people like always avoid their bank account or avoid looking at their credit cards. Like I have four credit cards now.
00:02:57
Speaker
I've actually like intentionally not created automatic payments because I want to intentionally look at my money and like circulate my money is what I call spending but I say circulate.
00:03:09
Speaker
Language is so powerful by the way but I circulate my money because it's always in circulation. It's always going to flow and come out and come back. So anytime i am ready to pay for my credit card I intentionally not make it automatic payments because then I do have to remember when it is that I need to Pay and then I look at my money. I'm with my money. It just makes me me sit with it be with it so that I can feel more safe with it And also safe without it, which is what we're really going to talk about is that, you know the essence of I thought I wanted more money, but I actually want to feel more safe and so
00:03:44
Speaker
As I was doing my money date, I thought I just came through for me and my relationship with money has came a long motherfucking way.

Impact of Scarcity Mindset from Childhood

00:03:53
Speaker
Like growing up, you know, I grew up around a lot of scarcity mindset thinking of like how it didn't feel like it was enough even though I had, we had enough, like we were fine. We weren't like super rich, but we also weren't super poor. We were kind of in the middle class mindset.
00:04:09
Speaker
Section. Section. Middle class era. Whatever you want to call it. And yeah we were fine. But there was still this feeling of like not enoughness that really came through with me. Like growing up that actually like my parents... really gave me some of those beliefs and those things that we pick up as we're kids, right, from our parents. That was a big one in my life. And it's really interesting because, like, I would hoard my money. I had this thing with hoarding, and I would feel, like, unsafe if money left me. If any part of—if I even, like, paid for my credit card, there was a time and a moment in my life when I lived in New York
00:04:48
Speaker
where I had like $2,000, and i don't want to call debt, like in my credit card, like that I needed to pay off. And I would intentionally only do the minimum payments. And it would be years that I've had that 2k and it would never move. And it was like, obviously, duh, because I'm continuously paying interest on that. And I didn't really realize that because I just wasn't so educated around money, even though my dad was like, he just never really taught us like that.
00:05:14
Speaker
He was good. He didn't really teach us much, but it's okay. It's all perfect. And so Following on that story, I realized I was like, I need a i like i need to get a credit card. So my dad's talking about it you know when I'm living

Strategies for Better Financial Health

00:05:26
Speaker
with my parents.
00:05:27
Speaker
My dad's talking about it, and I'm like, yeah, I need to get a credit card because I'm like i'm not i'm like losing technically losing money by not using a credit card. When I can earn cash back, I can make the most out of my money with a credit card, learn to trust myself with money again with a credit card. So ever since then, I've been using credit cards, but it's just been small ways where I have been training myself and working on healing my relationship with money than how it was before. And a big piece, yeah, like before it was hoarding money.
00:05:59
Speaker
It was feeling like it was never enough. Feeling like I did the things that I sometimes didn't want to do for the sake of money because to me, money equated freedom. To me, money equated safety because if I didn't have it, I had a fear of it running out. Because if it ran out, who would support me? Like how would I be supported? So it was really ran by this instance of feeling unsupported, which underneath feeling unsupported is the desire to feel safe, right? So it all like interlinks. And so that's kind of like my money, like a quick snippet.
00:06:36
Speaker
There's a lot of things in between, but it's like a quick little snippet of like my money stories and my money background. And so now though, it's so different. I started really working more intensely and intentionally on my money mindset and my relationship with money 2024. And since then, like now I don't look at the price. If there's something that I want, I don't really look at the price. I actually look at the value and I'm more intentional with my money. Like the other day I noticed like, for example,
00:07:06
Speaker
that I have an American Express business account. And that's like where how I manage my money and split everything from business to personal. And i noticed that in my checkings, I wasn't, I was only earning like one point something APY, like some type of interest that you earn for having your money in the bank. Right.
00:07:24
Speaker
And then i was like, that should be more, right? Because like my regular bank account gives me like three point something. And so then I realized, oh, they have a high yield savings account. And it's 3.5 or four or whatever percentage to just keep your money in there. I'm like, well, I might as well move my money there. Like, you start to make better money decisions to make the most out of your money and also be more intentional with their money. Like the other day, I canceled out Cap cut subscription that I wasn't really using anymore. Most people would think that oh 999 is nothing right, but it is still money it It doesn't matter the amount. It's the

The Power of Language in Financial Mindset

00:08:01
Speaker
relationship. How are you treating it? Are you taking it for granted? Are you
00:08:06
Speaker
buying things that you don't really need, and but you're doing that and you're creating that for yourself, right? Because when you start to be more in control of your money and you start to feel more, like be more intentional with it and you're more in control, you feel lot more You feel a lot more safer, right?
00:08:25
Speaker
when you're in control of your money. I also don't say certain things like expensive. You know, language is so powerful and sometimes we don't realize what it's doing subconsciously for us when we're continuously saying those words because some of these words have been ingrained from the collective, right? Expensive is like the biggest one that I hear all the time. And it's like, We don't think about it, but our subconscious has this this emotional attachment to it and that strengthens that belief and it makes you feel a certain way without you realizing that. And so I don't say words like expensive, I say premium pricing or like, um oh, that's great, like maybe not right now, but in the future, or it just doesn't feel right, but there might be something better for you and a better deal. Like really choosing words that feel more expansive, i also push myself to new money possibilities and boundaries. like
00:09:13
Speaker
this year, I've invested in a mastermind that was like $7,500. And I never invested that much before. But it felt so right intuitively. And if you haven't listened to my previous podcast episode, highly recommend you listen to it because I go deeper into like, how to determine, you know, what's more of an intuitive base action versus taking action from a place of

Feeling Safe Without Money

00:09:33
Speaker
fear. And so obviously, that also like makes you makes or breaks you feeling safe, right? When you're taking action from fear, you're obviously not feeling safe versus when you are, you feel safe, you feel secure, you feel grounded. So the feeling of unsafety and feeling unsupported by money really came up for me.
00:09:54
Speaker
ah Back in June of 2025 when I decided to leave my tattoo business and it became more prominent over time Right in the beginning of the few months. It was fine. I was just like yeah, like we're good I'm going to start my business and we're gonna grow and we're gonna glow and it's gonna be amazing, right?
00:10:09
Speaker
My expectations were a little bit too high than like what reality really showed me but essentially like it's been around eight nine months now And I really started feeling this for the past like few months from now where I started to feel like unsafe because I wasn't making money anymore. There was no income anymore, right? And a lot of people would feel this way. like It's pretty, I would say, quote unquote, normal for a lot of people to feel unsafe and unsupported when they don't have any income coming in, when there's so much uncertainty in like where their business is going, right? like The thing that they dreamed of that they want to do and it it didn't take off faster than they thought that they would, that it would, right? So, giving in that has really taught me a lot around what I actually thought I wanted versus what I actually want. And so it's really helped me kind of disconnect and detach
00:11:06
Speaker
from placing a sense of safety and importance in money and really a sense of safety um and freedom that that would be in money. And also sometimes a lot of us put our so our sense of self-worth with money and like how loved we are, how valued we are with how much money we have or what we do in our achievements. And so it's really helped me just this whole experience in essence, has really helped me open up my eyes and really look inward and be like, what do what is it that I truly do want though? Because yes, of course I want more money, but and like how can I get myself to feel safe even without it? Because if you don't feel safe without it right now, you're not going to feel safe with it.
00:11:50
Speaker
That feeling and energy is still going to move with you there when you're there because there is no difference between you here now and you there like the energy and essence is still there it's always going to be there it's always going to follow you and it's going to be then become attached to something and that your sense of happiness and peace and self-worth and safety is going to be then attached to the thing and dependent on that thing and that's that was me like majority of my life, like that has been my case. And so when I potentially, obviously, hair still probably planned everything, as she always does. When I took everything and ripped everything out from me, like when I literally let everything go, that's when I really had to dig deeper and look within.
00:12:36
Speaker
Typically like when you feel unsafe like your actions aren't aligned, you know, they're again from that fear-based place and so something that really came up for me was hyper vigilance and alertness and i didn't know I had this and I didn't realize this I wasn't so aware of it until I Obviously have been going through this phase of no income and uncertainty in my life And it was like even me sleeping at night. It was like fucking difficult going through insomnia And like my mental, my mind was just like constant, like thinking about things. So many mental tabs open.
00:13:12
Speaker
And when you feel unsafe, like internally and even maybe externally, independent of everything and anything else that you have, especially with this topic around money, that's what can happen. And that is so detrimental. It could literally end up turning into health issues, hormonal imbalance, working currently on reducing all the excess cortisol that has been going on in my body and Making my other hormones to go out of whack and thankfully I'm so grateful that I don't have any health issues coming up like actual diseases and health issues But that's why I'm

Empowerment and Self-Worth Beyond Money

00:13:46
Speaker
being proactive here. Like I'm not gonna wait until that happens and actually in the next episode I'm gonna be talking a little bit about this around the energetics behind Everything that I'm going through because I want you guys to also have some of the this knowledge and just an understanding and awareness um in case you guys may be going through it or you know to Avoid it going through it and one thing I'm going to say is that there's nothing wrong with wanting more money Like there's nothing wrong with that at all as an ambitious woman. I totally get it You know money does provide more resources more options and just a lot more
00:14:23
Speaker
in your life, and that's the key word I want you guys to understand, is just more. But you cannot have more and get to more from a place of not enough, from a place of lack. Realizing that you are the source of your money. Like, you are the biggest asset. You are the thing that creates the money. Like, one of my friends would always say, like, money is my bitch. Like, money is my slave.
00:14:46
Speaker
And it it sounds funny, and it's actually empowering when you think about it, because it's like, yeah, like, you are... the source, like you are the one that makes it happen. And so when you start to realize and start even thinking this way, like it really does help you feel a lot more safe, independent of no matter what money you have, no matter what's going on, especially as an ambitious woman, you know that you are the one That is the most important, not the money. you pouring into yourself matters the most, not the money. Like the money doesn't determine the actions that you take. You determine the actions that you take and the money ends up becoming a byproduct of that. I've talked about this countless times on my podcast of how Self-trust is so essential and important and really cultivating a spiritual connection with your intuition, with your higher self, source, whoever you believe in but really cultivating that connection because no matter what path you take in your life, no matter what happens, knowing that you are always provided for and that your higher self always has your back and that your intuition is always guiding you, a lot of us are disconnected from our bodies, right? We're so in our mind, which is masculine, is the masculine. We are not much in our bodies. And I have been noticing this time and time again. like As I'm working on really getting more grounded and rooted in my body and being more connected with my intuition more and more every day, even though I've trained my intuition for over a year now, like i'm still...
00:16:15
Speaker
working on it, honing in on it, kind of like strengthening that muscle, right? Like I am noticing this more and more where the more I'm connected to my flow, that my body, like my intuition, the more safe I actually feel because I know I'm always guided. I know I'm always supported by something that's way bigger than me that knows better that for me than I even do that my mind can even think of because my mind is not as powerful as...
00:16:43
Speaker
my higher self or source. Like there are so many possibilities. There's so many um endless opportunities that are there available for you that your mind cannot pick up on. I said in my last podcast episode is that your mind can only see what you have trained it to see, what it just knows to see. And so This has really helped me navigate the uncertainty of life and the unknown because it's like, it allows me to be more open to different routes to change, right? To adapt and be flexible around different things that happen in my day, change, different things that happen with money.
00:17:23
Speaker
And even like, let's say unexpected bills come up, right? Or anything like that allows me to feel more grounded and more secure even as I handle situations like that or whatever the case may be for you to feel more safe because you know you are always provided for, you are always safe, your intuition's always there to guide you and you will always be okay. If you find yourself feeling like you're losing your peace over how much you make, over how much you have, over you know a certain bill that came through or whatever, like with money, then that is a telltale sign that you do not feel safe without money. And that's the goal that we want to get to, is feeling safe without the thing that you have, like money, because then you have full control and autonomy over your life. You are then now in your full essence and power to create whatever it is that you want to create. Be able to then hold it in your life with true ultimate happiness and peace.
00:18:24
Speaker
True peace is that what I would say the most is what matters. But you're able to hold it without feeling, you know, out of alignment, without feeling unsafe, without feeling like hypervigilant or alertness like I was feeling. All of those things. When you focus on safety instead of more money. When you start working on regulating your nervous system, right?
00:18:45
Speaker
And really getting your nervous system to that baseline safety of flow and ease and your feminine essence. That's when you start to feel more at ease, more happy, and more more at peace in your life of where you currently are. A lot of people are not happy with where they are in their life. Especially when you're ambitious, you want to do more, you want to create more. Like there's this fire that's fucking lit up within you where you want to experience more because you know deep down that you're worthy of having more. and And that is all perfectly fine. But again, you cannot get to that place until you're happy with where you're at and you're at peace with where you're at, knowing that where you're at is perfectly fine, it's perfect, it's giving you the knowledge, the skills, the stories, the experience that you need to get to where you want to be. And even if you don't see it now, it's important to at least understand and know this step to actually feel more safe with your money, more safe in your life

Accessing Intelligence Through Emotional Safety

00:19:40
Speaker
overall. And when you know that you're safe where you are right now, it's perfect where you are right now, you're at peace with where you are, then you're able to access your genius brain.
00:19:52
Speaker
You're able to access the intelligence that we have in our brain because we're regulated and then we're able to think clear. We get to receive the ideas from our intuition to help us make those kind of money goals that we have for ourselves.
00:20:05
Speaker
we're able to feel more present in life and be safe in the stillness of life, right? All of these things that essentially reduce stress, reduce overwhelm, reduce overthinking, which again in the next podcast episode, I'm going to be talking a lot more about that and my journey and the things that I've been going through. So stay tuned for that because that's going to be so juicy and so relevant for a lot of people. want to leave you guys with something to think about in the essence of this podcast episode to really help you get more awareness and get clear on where you're at in feeling safe in your life and your relationship with your money. Would you feel safe if you lost all your money, if you lost everything and you had to start all over again?
00:20:51
Speaker
Would you still feel safe Would you still feel good about yourself? Would you feel safe in the uncertainty of life? Maybe not even knowing, you know, what's going to happen or where you're going, not knowing that all the details of the path that you're on, right? the first step that you know of, right? Each and every day. But being in that uncertainty phase and era of your life, like, would you feel safe?
00:21:17
Speaker
It's really tricky, honestly. And I will say if your answer is no, then I invite you to ask yourself why. Dig deeper and keep asking yourself, why do I feel this way? Why is that true for me? Why, why, why? because When you start asking yourself why, you really get down to the emotional root cause feeling. It's like this is the easiest way to get down to like your trauma and your emotional root cause feelings. You get down to like the limiting beliefs and the reasons why you actually feel that

Redefining Success and Gratitude

00:21:50
Speaker
way. And that is going to help empower you to start moving differently, to start making different choices and actions and do something about where you're currently at.
00:22:01
Speaker
For me, it was really around like letting go. of control and trusting more. It was really this essence of trusting in myself and trusting in my higher self and source and on my path. It was really this essence of redefining what success means to me and what it looks like. Because success means so many different things for so many different people. Like there are people out there in the world that have very, very little We've all seen this and they're super, super happy and they feel super successful in their life. But then there's also other people that have a lot and that feels success to them. Like that's, they're super happy with that. And that's a different version of success and what that looks like for people. So was really just getting to the nitty gritty and asking myself, no, what does true success mean to me?
00:22:49
Speaker
And let's say if I lost everything in my life, like what does true success then mean to me? We're around letting go of what money means about me or for me and being more grateful with where I'm currently at and where I'm headed. Allowing myself to like be more in the present moment and really feeling satisfied. This feeling of enoughness has came up a lot for me and I know it comes up for a lot of people is allowing myself to be satisfied with where I'm at right now, with what I have and being grateful for it.
00:23:20
Speaker
And that is really helping me detach, you know, this sense of safety that has been a prominent theme in my life with money because I know that I'm provided for. I'm safe. I'm fine. I'm okay. i'd Even being satisfied with yourself of like knowing I'm enough. I'm satisfied. I accept myself as I am, regardless of how much money I have, because I am the source. I'm the asset. I'm the biggest asset and the most valuable thing in my life.
00:23:48
Speaker
So when you realize that, you take your power back. Thank you guys for tuning in. Please do this awareness exercise. I really am curious to see what comes up for you and if you've dealt with the same thing too.
00:24:00
Speaker
I know a lot of women have like money obviously is such a prominent topic for everyone. And I know majority of the fucking world has somehow in some way tied their sense of safety to money. And a lot of people do struggle and deal with this. So hit me up on Instagram, girl. My Instagram is darshvibes, D-A-R-S-H-V-I-B-E-S-S.
00:24:23
Speaker
Let me know what you take away from this, what you implement. Also, I have a special announcement. So I wanted to like create a place for both of us to like connect more. And i wanted to find the easiest way that's like manageable for me and also manageable for you. And so I am going to be launching a email newsletter and it's not going to be like your average email newsletter because we don't do average here.
00:24:47
Speaker
I really want everybody to feel special. I want everybody to feel included. I really want to create that essence in my community. And so obviously I'm going to be writing out all my emails, but it's going to be another place to receive more support from me. And it's going to be like different top things like exclusive behind the scenes content. and topics and things that I talk about.
00:25:08
Speaker
And it's gonna be the place where you get to also know about any upcoming offers and events and things that are gonna be happening in my world. And so make sure that you get in on it. I'm gonna be launching it next week, next week's podcast episode. If you enjoyed listening to this podcast, then it would mean a lot to me if you can leave me a review. It really helps grow the community more and get this podcast out to other women and that'll also be beneficial for them. So please make sure and you go ahead and do that. It's super easy. It takes like 30 seconds and helps me a lot.
00:25:41
Speaker
All right. Thank you so much for tuning in. please I'll catch you guys in the next week's episode. Bye.