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25: Efforting V.S. Aligning (Why More Effort Does Not Equal Better Results)
20 Plays3 months ago
When you understand what actually creates results you desire in your life, you start aligning with all your desires, the actions you take, and feel safer in being an open channel to receive, magentic by default, and thrive in your feminine energy.
This is why I'm so passionate about the work i do (hint: using energetic leverage).
Enjoyed this episode? Give it a 5 stars & share with a friend. Send me a screenshot of your review on IG @darshvibess (screenshot before you submit the review), and I'll send you a free gift ;) ORRRR just leave me a review anyway haha ilyyyy
Let's connect ;)
Watch on Youtube: @itsdarshna
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Contact for Collab/Work with me: nextleveldarsh@gmail.com.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'She's Next Level' Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome back to the She's Next Level podcast. It's your girl Darsh and if you're new here, welcome. In this podcast, we talk about feminine energy, feminine embodiment, feminine leadership to help you become a high value woman by healing your self-image, increasing your levels of self-love and self-worth and being able to create your dreamiest fucking life. So if you are into all of that and you want to create that for yourself, Stick around, be sure to subscribe and turn on the notifications because we do drop an episode every week. And without further ado, let's get started.
Theme: Efforting vs. Aligning
00:00:35
Speaker
So today's podcast episode is all about this idea of efforting versus aligning. And really wanted to talk about this because I feel like this is something that I struggled with my entire fucking life. And I know that a lot of women out there struggle with this too. And this idea that we have all subscribed to from society's programming of this idea that
00:00:58
Speaker
more effort equals better results. Essentially, working harder means that you're going to get what you want. You're going to gain more success,
Balancing Feminine and Masculine Energies
00:01:06
Speaker
right? And we see this a lot, even like as much as women are like finally starting to wake up from all this fucking programming.
00:01:13
Speaker
Like I do see this still happening where I'm noticing women either you know, just not in their feminine energy at all. And they're just a really fully operating in their masculine. Or I see the other side of it where women are struggling and figuring out, okay, like, where do I find that balance for myself? Right? Like they understand that. Yes. Like,
00:01:36
Speaker
Feminine energy is super important. They want to cultivate more of that and they want to harness more of that, right?
Challenging Effort Equals Success Belief
00:01:41
Speaker
Their feminine magnetism. But how do I also like make sure that I'm not like, you know, did not say the word denying, but like, how am I also like balancing that with my masculine and making sure that I'm also taking action, right especially if you're an entrepreneur or someone that has big goals and dreams. And so I wanted to like talk about this with you guys because I have some things to share with you that I have been through that has helped me. And even still in full transparency till this day, I'm still working on this, but because I'm aware of the principles and i'm that I'm going to be sharing with you guys today, and I'm aware of like this idea of like how more effort does not equal more results,
00:02:21
Speaker
it helps me break free from that pattern that I once wasn't aware of.
Deconditioning Societal Beliefs on Effort
00:02:26
Speaker
And i just want you guys to know as well is that understanding this concept that i'm going to be sharing with you guys today is not only going to help you be more of an open channel to receive because that is what we naturally have within us in our feminine essence and being, but it's also going to help you in aligning more with your feminine energy. So again, like I said, this is a learned behavior that we may have picked up from our parents or the world um or like our friends, anywhere in the society where everyone, I mean, most people believe this to be true of how more effort equals more results, or if they're not doing enough, if they're not putting in more effort, then they...
00:03:07
Speaker
technically need to then they're not going to get to where they want to be or even worse the one where you if you didn't work hard for something that you wanted then you didn't earn it you weren't worthy of having it because you did not earn it right how many times have we fucking heard that or even if like you know that's why people have like fucking competitions and shit where it's like you know so the whole winning and the losing and the whole um If you didn't work hard enough, you just work hard enough, then you're going to fucking get it. Right. And so this is what we need to start deconditioning in our brain because it's not always true. Right. There's always like think about like all the millionaires out there. Think about people that barely ever work. Right. And how they live a life with ease. Right.
Personal Experience in Network Marketing
00:03:50
Speaker
It's like they're not doing more effort. It's just that they're working differently. They're operating at a different mentality. And so that is what I want to open you guys up with today. is that it's not always true about working hard and putting in more effort. I always say, like, this has been such a game changer for me. And I always say that, like, I'm not going to do less, but I'm also not going to do more. I'm going to just do what is required. And sometimes what is required isn't always more or isn't always less.
00:04:19
Speaker
It is just literally what feels right, what feels aligned in that moment. And what you also like, it also sometimes is like knowing that you need to do something, even if you don't want to do it, like your human doesn't want to do it, but you're going to do it because you know it is required. But it's not from this place of like forcing and pushing. And I'll get into a little bit of this later on. um But just wanted to like make that distinction.
00:04:46
Speaker
you know Growing up, I really felt this pressure around my parents. And if you have Asian parents, I mean, honestly, in any fucking culture, like old school mentality culture, like I grew up around this pressure a lot around working hard and doing more than I needed to, like trying to be the best of the best right by pushing myself. And I felt like at some point I couldn't sustain that because it was burning me out.
00:05:10
Speaker
And I really felt this actually back in 2020, where I just felt so disconnected from my body, my intuition, just myself, because I was part of a ah network marketing like team. I was doing network marketing back in the day. If you guys have heard of Herbalife, it's pretty old, pretty out there. Everyone almost knows about it. And so I was like a part of this team and you know everyone was pushing for the next level of like this for the sake of teamwork, right? That was like the whole like network marketing thing. There was so much resistance externally and internally for myself because when I was trying to prove to myself why I was worthy of having the kind of results that I wanted to have. So I thought that I would needed to work more and push harder, right.
Realization of Aligning Over Efforting
00:05:54
Speaker
And then there were external expectations, because my team was counting on me of, ah you know, helping them get to that next level. And so essentially, remember the day, like it was literally yesterday, because it it really,
00:06:08
Speaker
it really opened up my eyes. And it really gave me like a new like spiritual awakening, as people call it. And realization that I cannot continue to go this way was when I literally hit like a goal that I was like, literally in in the sofa, like all day, day in and day out, my eyes was like fucking locked to the phone. And I was like, I just got to hit this goal. Like I just, if I can hit this goal, like I can make is the next level. And I'll finally feel fucking good about myself. And I'll finally feel like I was worthy and deserving of success and that I have it right. And so I kept going at it. I kept going and I finally get what I want. If I just keep hustling, if I just keep keep hitting up more people.
00:06:45
Speaker
And then I did it. and I felt the worst i have ever fucking felt when I hit it. What everybody else was celebrating, everybody else was so fucking happy. I did not feel successful. I did not feel the way that I thought I was going to feel. And that's when I had this realization of like, I did all this fucking effort, put in all this fucking work.
00:07:04
Speaker
When I didn't need to, but what's worse is then noticing other people that didn't put in the kind of effort that I put in which pissed me off because they still got what they wanted. and I didn't because I put in more effort to do that. Like I had to put in more effort to get what it is that I wanted when other people did it.
00:07:23
Speaker
Right. How many times have we been like, how many times have we seen that and like got so fucking annoyed and pissed off because it's like, what the fuck? Like, what are you doing? Like, why not me too, right? And even though I was into personal development back then, and I was like doing it day in and day out, like kind of like working on my mindset, right? Like most people do. Like working on your mindset is just 20% of the game.
00:07:48
Speaker
But the other 80%, which I'm going to get into later on in this podcast, is what's really going to change everything for you. And until I started, you know, learning about these tools that I have since then, like that is what's really helped me evolve and really helped me change this fucking pattern that I was deep into. And remember, this is like since childhood programming, right?
00:08:11
Speaker
So there is the path to resistance, right? The path that we take that is
Paths: Efforting vs. Alignment
00:08:16
Speaker
efforting. And then there's the path to least resistance, which is the alignment path, right? So the path to resistance really feels like efforting. It really feels like that push and that pull. And it comes from that place of control, wanting to control because you don't feel like things are You don't trust that things are going to work out for you. And you're also even probably afraid of what will happen if things don't work out for you the way that you had expected them to. And so it comes from that place of lack versus abundance versus overflow.
00:08:50
Speaker
And so when it comes from that place of lack, that is why you think about putting in more effort or trying to control the situation because you feel unsafe in just the uncertainty and like just that stillness of that not knowing place versus the path to the least resistance comes from this place of overflow, flexibility, expansive, openness. It's like more of that feeling and it comes from that place because you know you are not attached to any outcomes of anything happening. You fully trust that things are gonna work out best for you. Like either this, always like the saying that I really love, like a common saying that I hear people say, is this or something better.
Efforting Driven by Fear and Control
00:09:32
Speaker
And when you're not attached to any outcome, you actually become more magnetic Therefore, you end up aligning with all your goals and everything that you want and you just become a fucking magnet to those things. There's so much on wholeness and detachment that I like want to talk about because I'm literally that's like the era of this year for me is wholeness and detachment and unconditional self love.
00:09:55
Speaker
But we're going to save that for like a lot of a lot of future episodes because it really is essentially that though is wholeness when you are taking the path of least resistant and you are in alignment, you are moving from a place of feeling whole of feeling detached because you know that your higher self has your back, you know, and you trust in your higher self and life source God, whoever the fuck you want to call it, like you fully trust that things are going to work out for you. So why most women choose the path of resistance is because they feel unsafe in change and uncertainty. And this is why They choose that path of resistance because it gives them the illusion of control. This is why they put in more effort because they're like, okay, at least I have a sense of control somehow in some way because I don't know how things are going to go. And I need to make sure that I'm safe and things are going to go the way I expected because I want to feel safe. but
00:10:52
Speaker
Because I want to feel safe. Like we
Energetic Leverage and Subconscious Programming
00:10:54
Speaker
all... Deep down, have this biological need and desire to feel safe. Ultimately, I will say that you always have the power to choose how you decide to respond to you know change or uncertainty or things that do happen in life because life will always be life anyways. like Things will always be going on, especially when the path that you expected turns out to be so different than the path that you're meant to be on. I know it can feel scary, but essentially, again, healing your relationship with change and uncertainty and being like flexible enough is going to really help you step more into your feminine and be able to move from a place of alignment versus efforting and push. So here's why I believe that putting in more effort does not equal better results and what to focus on instead to create more aligned results. And this is the concept that I call energetic leverage. and so it's basically the concept and idea, and you may have heard this before, but
00:11:53
Speaker
and is the concept of the idea of your subconscious mind. So you have your conscious mind, which is your 5%, like your operating mind, the way that you think, your critical thinking and all that. And then you have your subconscious mind, which I call the unconscious part of your mind, which is 95% controls everything, like your actions, your thoughts, your beliefs. That is where everything stems from. And so what you do have is an electromagnetic field. It's called EMF in science terms. I call it the belief field or the energy field. And so when you program certain things into your subconscious mind, like it is operating on autopilot. And so the way people treat you, the way things happen, like work out for you, the way that you feel, literally everything is being scripted out from your brain.
00:12:44
Speaker
um EMF field and being delivered out. And that's why people can feel your energy. That's why certain things happen for you is because of everything going on in your unconscious mind. So essentially, when you hack, right, using energetic lack of leverage, you hack your mind, and you make your mind work for you by programming certain beliefs and thoughts and actions and everything in your mind, your unconscious mind,
00:13:09
Speaker
then you are able to use energetic leverage and not have to effort more than you need to because you are aligning and attracting like a magnet everything towards you. Now, yes, there is action to be taken, but you're not taking more action than you ever need to. So instead of trying to even like women that do personal development, right? Or maybe people are like, maybe some people are aware of this concept, right? But it is still conscious in your mind. If you are aware of this work, and you have, you know, you're like, I have, I've heard of subconscious mind before, right? If you are aware of it, but you have not integrated it into your body, okay, integrated meaning embodiment, like,
00:13:50
Speaker
being able to have that experience and live through it and be able to shift that pattern and move differently from the beliefs that you have had before the patterns that you've had, then you only know it consciously, you don't know it unconsciously, it is not ingrained within you, it is not a belief that is um prominent for you. And so this is why a lot of women, even when they do the inner work and stuff, they get stuck in like, why am I still repeating this pattern? Like, why is this still happening again for me? It's because you have not integrated it into your body. You have only just known it consciously and you're operating consciously, which again is only 5% of your brain versus the 95% that is unconscious. I mean, I still have till this day, like,
00:14:34
Speaker
thoughts and beliefs and things coming up for me from the unconscious mind because obviously I wasn't aware of them. But once they do come to surface, like I'm actually able to use the tools that I have to integrate new beliefs and suffocate those old beliefs to have them just dissipate and have like a new ones form and start operating from this new level of embodiment. So I want you guys to start asking yourselves and be it just aware, this is an awareness practice, of what ideas have I subscribed to, what beliefs, right, have I subscribed to that has been causing me to be in resistance, right, to put in more effort and continue experiencing that burnout or just being, you know, just feeling like shit when you put in so much fucking effort and you feel like you're not...
00:15:21
Speaker
Getting where you're not where you want to be or you should be way farther ahead than where you are. Like where are what ideas have you subscribed to that's causing you to put in more effort and feel like you're pushing through things versus aligning with things. What's making you control or want to control every aspect of your life versus aligning with the direction of where your higher self is leading you instead.
00:15:45
Speaker
Because we all have intuition and our higher self is always leading us to the next thing that aligns us with what we're meant to do and what we're meant to take. And so the work here is really to deprogram so that we can reprogram our mind to align with our authentic selves. Right. And that a lot of that comes from the self image healing work that we do. a lot of self-worth and unconditional self-love. When you start to rewire your mind to align with having a high sense of self-image in the way that you see yourself, in the way that you think others see you, by your ability to love yourself, which is your ability to prioritize yourself in every situation, circumstance, anything, like giving yourself what you need, prioritizing yourself, then life obviously starts prioritizing you.
Self-Image and Self-Worth in Alignment
00:16:34
Speaker
And then self-worth is a big one. Your ability to you know see your own value and
00:16:40
Speaker
see what you bring to the table into the world. And this is always going to be all of this in like new levels for what it is that you desire. But these are going to be so important um in the work that you do to help you step more into alignment versus efforting through life. This is what I call energetic leverage. Because essentially, when you have these beliefs program into your mind that are actually working for you instead of against you, you will find yourself naturally taking action on autopilot, like taking action, being guided to take action towards the things that you actually align with versus the other way around.
00:17:17
Speaker
And it's only through the experience of the things that you have that help you integrate into embodiment through the lessons that you learn for you to actually move through a whole new identity. So I have fun work is what I call homework, but it's fun work for you guys so that you guys can walk away with um something to work with. And awareness is so
Awareness and Pattern Interruption
00:17:41
Speaker
fucking powerful. And I want you guys to just start there. And something that most people actually, by the way, don't know around awareness is that awareness is so powerful awareness
00:17:50
Speaker
you know, whatever beliefs that surface from the unconscious to the conscious obviously starts from awareness, but it energetically you shift a little bit when you have awareness of a certain unconscious belief that you weren't aware of it actually like you shift a little bit. So You're already going to shift a little just by bringing awareness to these things. But I want you guys to sit down and think about what areas of my life am I wanting to control outcomes? Like where am I too attached to certain outcomes in my life? Where am I efforting more than I need to because of that? And it's really going to feel like if you feel in your body, it's going to feel like When you're efforting, it feels very heavy. It feels very like you're just like restricted um versus lightness feels more like flow. It feels more light. You feel like so fucking light in your body and you just feel so magnetic. Like it's just such a vibe. So I want you guys to think about those things. And then once you have awareness for all of those things, then I want you guys to take one
00:18:56
Speaker
Tiny action, okay? Just one tiny action. Don't try to do it all because your mind's going to get overwhelmed. One tiny action towards pattern interrupting whenever that next pattern comes up.
00:19:07
Speaker
Pattern interrupting. in real time and taking one small tiny action towards the opposite of what you would normally do. And it may feel uncomfortable in the beginning because you are training your body and your mind together. But when you're aware and then you start to little by little in small ways, don't do this with big things, do it in small ways, then you'll start to notice through repetition because that's how our brain works and our mind and body just learns better through repetition.
Fun Work for Awareness
00:19:37
Speaker
Um, you'll start to notice like a new level of safety of certainty, like a new way of being. And obviously this is just like a mini tool. Like this is just a small way of getting started, but there's a lot more that we can, you know, dive together and deep into, um, in like a future offering to help you guys fully like rewire, like with all the tools that you would need and want to have. to fully receive that transformation. um But again, that will be in a future
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:20:06
Speaker
offering. So at least start here, though, because when you're aware, and then you start to just take even tiny bits of actions, you can still start to notice certain changes within yourself just by the way that you feel or just by, um you know, making different choices. And it's going to feel a lot more empowering for you guys that way. Okay, thank you so much for being here.
00:20:28
Speaker
appreciate you guys so much for, you know, tuning in. And obviously, anybody that leaves me a review, I truly, truly appreciate it. So make sure if you haven't done that yet, please leave me a review on Spotify and Apple. I'm on both platforms. and Share this episode with a friend because I know there's a lot of women that struggle with this, especially ambitious women, right? We all have dreams and goals, but we kind of find ourselves stuck between like efforting too much versus aligning and like what the difference is, what it feels like and what to actually focus on, which is what we talked about of like rewiring your mind and your body to align with that new level version of yourself that you want to be and like the new way that you want to live. yeah.
00:21:10
Speaker
Thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited to chat with you guys next week. um Be sure to subscribe. Hit me up on Instagram. Let me know what like you took away from this episode, anything that you implement. I want to know how it's working for you, any questions that you have. My Instagram is, again, darshvibes, D-A-R-S-H-V-I-B-E-S-S. I'm also on TikTok. like Everything is in the description box below. And then I also have a special announcement next week. So stay tuned for next week's episode. It's going to be juicy as always. I love you guys. Bye.