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29: What The World Doesn't Tell You About Unconditional Self Love & Why It's Necessary To Live In Alignment
35 Plays2 months ago
Make sure you listen to Ep 28 before listening to this to get the MOST out of it!
Most people have unconditional self love backwards and the world is filled with lower frequency information that's watered down. In this episode i share (channeled from source), what unconditional self love ACTUALLY means, the benefits of harnessing higher levels of unconditional self love, how to reduce obstacles, tools to help get you started in harnessing unconditional self love, inner peace and acceptance for yourself and your life so you can start to feel more happier, satisfied and fulfillment without changing a single thing about yourself.
The world will influence you to CHANGE to get to where you want to be, but you are already PERFECTLY DESIGNED to get where you want to be. This episode shows you the path to TRUE ALIGNMENT & EASE.
Enjoyed this episode? Give it a 5 stars & share with a friend. Send me a screenshot of your review on IG @darshvibess (screenshot before you submit the review), and I'll send you a free gift ;) ORRRR just leave me a review anyway haha ilyyyy
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Transcript
Introduction to 'She's Next Level'
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the She's Next Level podcast. It's your girl, Darsh, and I'm so excited to dive to unconditional self-love and what the world doesn't tell you about it and what it actually means.
Recap and Importance of Self-Love
00:00:12
Speaker
Really quick recap, though, if you have not listened to the previous episode around, um you know, self-love and self-prioritization and how beneficial and how important and necessary it is for your health first and foremost health being the foundation of every other manifestation that you desire and obviously when you're so prioritizing yourself and energetically everyone else prioritizes you your relationships your family your partner your friends your career money everything starts to prioritize you you become chosen in your life so if you have not listened to that episode please make sure that you pause this episode and you listen to the previous one
00:00:50
Speaker
Because that is going to be the foundation. And then we are building on that foundation with part two here all around unconditional self-love. Because when you have both of these things, honestly, like if I don't teach anything ever again, and this is like the essence of my work is...
00:01:07
Speaker
literally self-priotization, self-love and unconditional self-love because when you have these two things and again, these are the foundations that I'm sharing with you guys. Like obviously we will be diving deeper into future offers that I create that I want to share.
00:01:21
Speaker
Like these are going to be the prerequisite episodes, at least one
Tools and Concepts for Unconditional Self-Love
00:01:25
Speaker
of them. And it's going to be important that even if you implement at the end of this episode, I'm going to share with you guys a tool obviously for how to get started with unconditional self-love. Like even the tool that I gave in the other episode, implementing these two things is going to get you farther in life than any other type of podcast, book, anything else that you do, because these are the biggest needle moving things that will get you closer to better health, better relationships, more money, more career success, everything that you desire.
00:01:57
Speaker
First, I want to dive into like, why do we even care about unconditional self-love and the word unconditional, that piece of it? And then I want to dive into the difference between what unconditional self-love is and self-love, because with unconditional self-love, we have all been taught, right, especially as women, to be good, to be fitting in, to be not creating any chaos, not being too much. Right. All of these things we've been conditioned and programmed to not put our desires and our needs above everyone else, above everything else. And so it's interesting how this ties into unconditional self-love, because
00:02:33
Speaker
ultimately, unconditional self-love is not, again, self-love. It is actually the ability to love all of the good parts of yourself, but also all the negative perceived negative parts of yourself. And so it's so easy for people to say, I love myself when they love the perceived great qualities about themselves, right? But it's so easy to not love the other parts of yourself that You know, maybe you're a procrastinator, maybe you're overthinker, maybe you are impatient, like these other things that society can deem to not be acceptable for success or not be acceptable to
Overcoming Perfectionism and Embracing Authenticity
00:03:12
Speaker
be loved. or to be like an inconvenience for a lot of people. Like these are the qualities, you know, being sassy, um just having like different ah qualities and traits that only you know, because you know yourself that you may not like about yourself, but that is the part of yourself that actually makes you
00:03:31
Speaker
who you are. It makes you special. It makes you unique. It makes you valuable. And it is so essential and necessary in this world. And so when you harness high levels of unconditional self-love, you literally, life starts to unconditionally love you back.
00:03:47
Speaker
And everything starts to work in your favor. The mistakes that you're afraid to make, they are not viewed as mistakes and people love them. People, how how many, like when have you ever had anyone love the mistake that you've made? And actually just love you for even making that mistake. Because I know I have not. Like my parents have time and time again have been huge reflectors for me anytime I've made mistakes. And that's what has um been part of like one of my traumas is like not i'm like afraid to make a mistake or like semi perfectionist. I'm not really like
00:04:21
Speaker
I'm not perfectionist, but I would say like I would have small tendencies of of perfectionism coming through because I was afraid of being rejected from the mistakes I made or from being the way that I am and other parts of me that may not be like um being too much, right? Like may not be likable, may be. make other people uncomfortable if I'm like too much. Right.
00:04:40
Speaker
But those parts of me are so important because we're not only here to be ourselves, we're here to inspire others to be themselves too. So the difference, the full difference between unconditional self-love and self-love is really just that is the ability to fully love all of your abilities, your skill sets, your qualities about yourself without comparison. Okay.
00:05:02
Speaker
Cause girl, I know we be comparing out there, okay? In small ways, we have all fucking done it in any single way. Even if you have a high, you've been doing it your work.
00:05:12
Speaker
I don't fucking hear it. We've all done it. And so your ability to fully love all parts of you, the the good and the shadow, like they say in the world, all parts of you, your abilities, your skill sets, and even your life. It's not even just about you, but fully being able to love your life and see the perfection in your life. I'm going to get into that in a little bit, but that is true unconditional self-love. It is true acceptance of yourself and actually therefore others. And then self-love is self-prioritization. So it is the ability to put yourself first, put your needs first,
00:05:48
Speaker
Take care of you so that you can take care of other people so that you can show up in the best possible way for all your dreams, all your goals, everything that you want to do.
Benefits of Unconditional Self-Love
00:06:00
Speaker
You can show up in your best energy, especially health being the foundation that we talked about on the previous episode, your health being the thing that fuels you, propels you to all the other things that you want to do.
00:06:13
Speaker
And the other aspect that I just want to mention around unconditional self-love and what it truly, truly is when you fully love all parts of you is the essence of neutrality. So being able to see the good,
00:06:25
Speaker
the equal amount of good and the equal amount of negative in anything, anything, even a ah great situation, something great, being able to see the negatives in it and then being able to see so a negative situation and then seeing the goods in it. And ultimately, when you're able to see the good and the bad in every single thing, you're able to then feel whole, right? You're able to be detached. And when you're detached and you're not this energy of need, you're able to then magnetize and attract every single thing that you want because you are are seeing the equal amount of positives and negatives in everything and anything and even people, but you're doing it from a place of neutrality. And that is the big difference versus judgment, um which happens a lot. And this is, again, high frequency source information. This is information that is going to, when you implement it, it's really going to make a big difference and set you free because society, has again, has programmed you
00:07:22
Speaker
to think the opposite. And when you have low levels of unconditional self-love, that is the reason why most women feel inadequacy. They don't feel good enough. They start to overcompensate and people please and do things that they wouldn't agree to do because they are afraid of rejection. You then start to put your needs last. So you can see how this ties into self-priotization and self-love when you have low levels of unconditional self-love. why it's so important for you to harness more of unconditional self-love for yourself and your life for others because ultimately when you do all of those things it leads you to not feeling satisfied and not feeling happy in your life when you're putting your needs last but then also when you're doing all these other things because you are not fully in acceptance of who you are and being okay with
00:08:15
Speaker
other people not on board with it or other people are on board with it. But when you do cultivate higher levels of unconditional self-love, then you start to notice that everyone else starts loving you unconditionally. Because underneath every single thing that we desire to have in our life, literally every single thing, we have this innate desire to feel special.
00:08:38
Speaker
and feel good enough to feel chosen, to feel worthy, to feel valuable. And when we do, we become limitless. And so it is so important by cultivating the feeling of unconditional love that helps you feel special it is an aspect of helping you feel special so what it means to cultivate high levels of self-love for yourself is being able to see the perfection in all your qualities your traits your attributes about yourself and seeing the good and also the equal amount of bad in all of them and
00:09:13
Speaker
just remembering that our worth is internal it is not external so when i started to understand this like i previously was putting a lot of my sense of self-worth and a lot of women do especially you're an ambitious woman you have big dreams and goals put a lot of our self face of self-worth into external achievements and things thinking that those are the things that is going to determine how worthy i am and how worthy I am of love, how worthy I am of success, how worthy I am of recognition, right?
00:09:43
Speaker
But none of it is, first of all, it's never measurable because there's always more that you can achieve. There's always more love that you can have. There's always more recognition out there, right? So there's never enoughness in the thing that we place our worth on. There's like never enough, right? Starts to develop those feelings of not enoughness.
00:10:02
Speaker
and second of all if all of it gets taken away where is your worth now your worth becomes dependent on something else that is not even measurable to begin with that is literally replaceable it's there and it's also not there like anything can happen but it becomes like shaky on a shaky foundation right your worth is never determined by those things because again You know, there's an equal amount of people that are amazing and also an equal amount of people that are not so amazing, meaning not the best people, not the best intentions with those
Accepting Personal Traits and Uniqueness
00:10:39
Speaker
things. And so your worth becomes questionable at that point. It's always internal. When I realize that unconditional self-love is all about accepting all parts of me and who I am and cultivating the sense of worthiness based on my qualities, my traits, my attributes and who I am as a person.
00:10:58
Speaker
And I would have like, you know, I've had all types of people in my life from all walks of life. And at the end of the day, it's all about how you make somebody feel that makes you worthy. And it's because of who you are. It's never about what you do for people. And so unconditional self-love and realizing this and doing this inner work has helped me not only love myself more but allow myself to be loved for who i am versus what i have and what i've achieved you know our higher selves has planned every single thing about our lives like we have a soul contract when we come down to earth and we have a purpose and a mission to fulfill in our lives whether you're i mean i would say you're always on it but whether you're conscious about it or not
00:11:42
Speaker
Like we have a certain mission, our higher self is always guiding us. And that's our intuition, guiding us to certain nudges and certain pulls that we have to get us closer and closer to the thing that we're meant to be doing. And like the next thing, right, because there's always different phases of things. and our higher self also planned for us to be and designed for us to be a certain way to be able to fulfill those kind of things so it's not going to be looking the same as everybody else in their life and that's why this also helps leave out comparison because we know that we were built differently we were built for a certain purpose in our lives and so certain like qualities and traits that you have about yourself that you may not like for example for me one of them
00:12:24
Speaker
has been overthinking. Your girl just likes to see all the options out there and then go into like a ah mental debate and just be on it, you know, for however long to because I want to choose the best option. And so I tend to get in my head sometimes about it, like overthinking things and like making things more complicated. They don't need to be right.
00:12:50
Speaker
And we can easily like feel like, oh, that's a quality and trait that holds me back. And I just don't like that about myself. But how is that a great thing? And that's going to be part of ah your first assignment for you guys to help you start to unlock unconditional love for yourself is to start to notice like what are three, at least three benefits from having this trait of overthinking?
00:13:14
Speaker
For example, that's like mine. Well, it helps me be more discerning to be able to discern you know, what's for me, what isn't, right? It helps me um see like what the possibilities and the options that are out there, right? It helps me trust myself more because if I didn't have to overthink, I wouldn't have to be able to focus and like really tune in on what's important to me. Like I actually care about like the decisions that I'm making. It makes me actually a better decision maker.
00:13:45
Speaker
In a way, right? Like couple things that I'm listing out. Those are the things that you actually want to rather be paying attention to of like, what are the benefits that come from this quality that I do not right now like about myself? Because when you start to do that, you ultimately stop to do like you ultimately stop to overthink like you're not focused on it anymore, because what you focus on is what you get more of. And so you're not so focused on that part of it anymore. You're focused on the opposite side. And so you actually start to love yourself more even when you end up overthinking. Like you start to appreciate that side of yourself more because you're aware of the benefits that come from it.
00:14:23
Speaker
Another thing that I wanted to mention too is that getting rid of labels, guys. Like I have lived my life with labels we all have of what's right and what's wrong. And it's such a society thing that's been programmed within us. And the moment I started to like stop trying to label things like even feminine and masculine, right?
00:14:44
Speaker
is really what helped set me free. And it's still a work in progress. Like I'm very conscious about it now. It's not as much as before, but it was blocking me like the whole right and wrong thing of like, for example, me being too much, right? Like I'm fucking extroverted and I like being out there and I like being social. i like being loud. I like, you know, being around people and like being crazy and like whatever.
00:15:07
Speaker
And that was labeled, especially as a child, like growing up with my family, like traditional Indian strict family, they were like, stop, like you're doing too much. You're making us look bad. Right.
00:15:21
Speaker
And then I labeled myself as too much and that that was being too much was wrong. Right. The moment I started like a lot doing this inner work ah as I have for a while now and really healing that inner child parts of me, parts of me that I was not accepting about myself, of feeling shame about being a certain way about myself.
00:15:42
Speaker
Like I realized it was all underneath these labels of like who the fuck decided if it's right or wrong. Like, first of all. According to whom? Is it right or wrong? It can never be because again, your higher self has designed you and built you in a certain way for you to fulfill the mission that you have in this life.
00:16:00
Speaker
And even if you're not happy with where you're at and you don't know like what your mission is, that is okay because that is all planned and it's a part of your journey and it's unfolding and unraveling every single day for you to, for you to get closer and closer to what that is.
00:16:17
Speaker
And so having unconditional self love for yourself, accepting yourself more, and noticing how it's perfect with where you're at, even doing your business a certain way. Like I would find myself comparing myself to other women and other people that are in like the similar industry and what I do, even the podcasting and like everyone is so different. So it's like being able to understand this, like is going to help you accept more aspects and parts of yourself that you feel like, oh, am I supposed to be doing it this way? is this right? Is this wrong? And getting rid of that shit and actually understanding yourself better so that you can start to be more authentic.
Inner Peace through Self-Acceptance
00:17:00
Speaker
And do you baby girl. And when you start to implement high levels of self love, energetically, what happens because we all have an EMF fields, right? In science terms, I call it energy field, but every single thing that we manifest that we are experiencing in our reality is caused by the beliefs that we hold the energetic state that we're in And so when you start to i'll harness high levels of unconditional self love,
00:17:27
Speaker
What do you think that happens? You cannot do no wrong in nobody's eyes. That's what happens energetically. The script that you put out that people start to unconditionally love you too. Your family or your partner will stop complaining about you and the things that they don't like about you that they don't accept because you fully accept all of those parts about you.
00:17:50
Speaker
So they're not going to be doing that to you. your If you make a mistake with a client or like anything in your business, your clients or whatever, like they're not going to, you know, beat down on you and be hard on you because you are not being hard on yourself about it because you accept that mistake. You accept that part about yourself.
00:18:10
Speaker
You guys see how like all of the obstacles in your life start to collapse when you start to um harness and cultivate high levels of unconditional self-love.
00:18:20
Speaker
When you don't beat yourself up about the way that you are and the way that you're doing things, when you're not hard on yourself, when you actually start to love and accept yourself unconditionally, you start to feel more at peace. You actually start to feel happier and more satisfied and fulfilled in your life and in all areas of your life.
00:18:39
Speaker
even not just yourself in situations right like again being um like if you're not happy with where you're at in life right now whether it's like your finances or your career knowing that your higher self planned everything for you in your life and how that situation is actually part of your purpose and how it's benefiting you seeing the positives in that even in situations and having unconditional love for that is going to help you feel more at peace and help the situation actually get better.
00:19:09
Speaker
And even if somebody like does something triggering to you, like you won't actually feel triggered anymore because you see the positives and the negatives at that point. So you won't be emotionally triggered as much as you used to be. Like I've seen this time and time again with my parents as I test these things out for myself.
00:19:29
Speaker
my parents it's i'm able to fully accept them now and like i've been revealing more and more parts of myself with them and feeling more comfortable in doing so and it's really cool to see like their reaction and like to see them just be like okay versus like they would have an opinion before because they want me to be a certain way And so you can even start to see that in your family area of life too and not being so emotionally triggered by other people.
00:19:55
Speaker
And as you do this, you will start to get to this place of enoughness and feeling good about yourself regardless of where you're at. And it's such an amazing place to be because Ultimately your focus is going to then be inward versus outward and that's where you want to be you want to be focused inward versus what's going on outside of you one of the aspects that is going to help you feel more fulfillment and feel more at ease and feel more happier and truly unconditional self-love for yourself in your life Especially if you are not in a situation that you desire like for most people
00:20:34
Speaker
it's usually in a career that they don't really like, or it's in a financial situation that they don't really desire, is being able to recognize, what you wanna do is recognize all the qualities, all the traits, all the skillsets that you like about yourself that light you up about yourself that you just enjoy and then start to recognize how all of those qualities traits and attributes and skill sets how they play out in the relationships in the career that you're not completely happy with and satisfied with in the financial situation because when you start to realize that again you're going inward and you're not looking outward and you're able to see how you're able to strengthen all of those skill sets, abilities, traits and attributes, you're able to practice them.
00:21:24
Speaker
And it's going to bring more of a sense of fulfillment for you because that is your ultimate focus. Anyways, it's not the outcome. It's not the thing, your skill sets, your traits, your attributes are the things that create everything that you want in your life anyways. And so you are on purpose, like you are able to still practice all of those traits, those skills, those attributes about yourself that you enjoy. And you'll notice this common thread because I have noticed it in my life from like,
00:21:53
Speaker
all the businesses that I've had all the jobs that I've had, probably have like the most diverse and longest, longest like resume resume out there in the world, I would say, as far as like the person that I know, like I've done so much guys.
00:22:08
Speaker
And when i look back at like the common thread, when I look back at the skill sets, the attributes and like the qualities that I like about myself that I really like to bring forward, i notice a common thread of me being able to practice and express those things in every single career that I've had and every single thing I've done, I've been able to express it, harness it and cultivate it. And
Practical Exercises for Self-Love
00:22:33
Speaker
that really brings me a sense of satisfaction because I know that even though i'm not doing the other thing anymore that I used to do,
00:22:40
Speaker
Like it was always there and I was I was happy I was satisfied and so bringing your focus back into how you're able to do that and bring forward the parts of you that you love in the things that you're doing that you may not enjoy the most will really help you start to Harness more happiness satisfaction more peace Especially if you found yourself like questioning your purpose and not fully being happy with where you're at right now this is really going to help you harness more unconditional self-love for yourself so ultimately just to recap harnessing high levels of self-love is absolutely necessary for you to reduce the amount of obstacles that you experience in your life and to be able to fully not only just love and accept all parts of you but also have other people love you unconditionally because everybody wants that everybody wants to feel like they belong they want to feel accepted in the world It'll also help you feel more whole and content in your life and be happy and satisfied and feel enough as you are. And it'll also help you then prioritize yourself because that is the other piece that's important to this.
00:23:49
Speaker
Putting your needs first, feeling ultimate satisfaction and happiness, and being able to not beat yourself up anymore, not being hard on yourself, and actually get to your goals in a more enjoyable way and quicker than you would actually think you would. It's being able to see the neutrality and the perfection in everything.
00:24:09
Speaker
Being able to see the equal amount of good and equal amount of bad in every situation. That's why also like I don't get too excited about anything anymore. i can tend to get too excited as like for the things that we really want or like great things happening for us, like who wouldn't?
00:24:24
Speaker
But it could also work in the other way too. If you're too excited, you're off of neutrality and you're not seeing the the bad to that too. You're off balance, you're attached, right? You end up becoming that way. Like you become too like emotionally attached to the thing. And so the universe has to be in balance.
00:24:43
Speaker
Universal law of balance, equal amount of good, equal amount of bad. Universe is always remaining in balance. And so, again, even source is unconditional. Like he will love someone that fucking kills 10,000 people just as much as he loves someone that...
00:24:59
Speaker
it hasn't killed anybody. Like it's unconditional love is in the heart and the core of who we are. And so just a quick little recap on the little homework assignments that I've given you guys.
00:25:10
Speaker
Doing this will really help you unconditionally love yourself more and start on that path. So highly recommend you do it. But the first ah task is to write down a list of all the qualities and traits and skill sets about yourself that you just do not like about yourself, that you don't really fully feel like you accept that part of you. You feel like you hold yourself back. um You don't really feel comfortable and confident expressing that and owning it without feeling shame about it or anything else.
00:25:39
Speaker
and write down three beneficial qualities that come from having that trait and attribute. So it could be people pleasing. It could be overthinking, procrastination, being lazy. Right. That one's like been told around a lot and write those things down. You can use ChatGPT to help you. I sure did. Because I was just like, when I first did this exercise, i was like, what? So use ChatGPT if you need to Once you write those down, those are the things that you're going to be connecting to and Really, it'll help you once you start recognizing the the positive benefits of those qualities and traits and attributes about yourself, you're able to then stop people pleasing, you're able to then stop eventually overthinking, not because you're forcing yourself to, but you're just accepting the benefits that come from that ability and that quality. And so if it does happen again, you're not beating yourself up about it.
00:26:30
Speaker
And then the second task I want you guys to do is then make a list and write down all of the skill sets, all of the qualities, all the traits that you like about yourself that you fully love and own and notice how you are acting those out in your relationships in your career with your finances um with your family like in all areas of your life notice how you're always acting those parts of you out because then that helps you be more at peace it helps you be more satisfied fulfilled and just more happier overall in where you currently are in your life, especially even if you're not 100% happy with where you are in your life, which is like most people, in all honesty, like not a lot of people are happy, like especially if you want to experience more in your life, you want more success, you want more money, you want more love, whatever it is, this is going to help you be more at peace and happy with where you're at and then start to notice like,
00:27:26
Speaker
how every single thing you do is on purpose. And then that'll help you be able to take more intuitive aligned action and get closer to where you wanna by knowing who the fuck you are and owning her.
00:27:40
Speaker
And ultimately you are then prioritizing yourself, which is what we talked about in the previous episode. You are not judging yourself and you are actually seeing the value in not only where you're at, but also the value in who you are.
00:27:54
Speaker
That's the point. So let me know in on Instagram. My Instagram is darshvibes, D-A-R-S-H-V-I-B-E-S-S. Hit me up, girl.
00:28:07
Speaker
Let me know. I'd love to know like the parts of you that you like don't like about yourself or like whatever you have on your list. And then the three benefits that you write down. love to like hear from you guys and how this exercise is and this concept and everything goes for you and then start to like witness it. as you start to accept parts of yourself more of how other people treat you, how situations and circumstances are treating you and things like that nature. um It's really cool to see this play out in real life when you do the inner work.
Closing and Listener Engagement
00:28:35
Speaker
But let me know what you guys take away.
00:28:37
Speaker
And if you have not left me a review yet, please leave me a review whether you're listening on Spotify or Apple. It really helps get the podcast out there to more women, grows the community more, and and it really means a lot to me. So make sure you do that. If you have not subscribed, make sure you subscribe.
00:28:54
Speaker
um I do my best to release ah the podcast episodes every Thursdays and Fridays. So it can be either Thursday, Friday. Usually it's Thursdays. So That's when we usually release a new episode every week. And thank you so much for being here. I love you guys. And I'll catch you guys in the next episode. Bye.