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Let's See Where This Takes Us
29 Plays1 year ago
Should we encourage our children to become entrepreneurs?
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Transcript
Balancing Personal Pursuits and Career at a Young Age
00:00:00
Tanya Ruttley
now to where that I can, you know, do that, you know, walking away from my job, deferring my retirement and, um, working on my businesses that I have and tending to family, working in the garden.
00:00:16
Tanya Ruttley
um yeah. Um, I hope that a lot of people can actually tap into that, but I don't know if that's a good thing in the beginning stages of life.
00:00:19
Kim Fletcher
so so
00:00:25
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
Family Dynamics, Homeownership, and Personal Interests
00:00:27
Kim Fletcher
yes so you're saying we have to work first to get there to where you are now
00:00:34
Tanya Ruttley
So I think it depends on the makeup, right? Meaning your family dynamics. So if we have, let's say, let's take a married couple, for instance. I do believe that the opportunity can become available sooner.
00:00:50
Tanya Ruttley
um But starting out, I think it's a little bit more challenging to do that because, you know, I have my garden in my backyard.
00:01:02
Tanya Ruttley
You can do it, but you would need either on a deck, a patio, you know, some people may grow some herbs inside of their home. But when you're talking about actually growing what I say, food to eat, corn, green beans, collard greens, stuff like that, I think you may need some type of ah yard space.
Challenges of Relaxation and Gardening for Young Apartment Dwellers
00:01:24
Tanya Ruttley
So early stages, you know, everyone don't necessarily go and get a home with a yard per se. So if they're in an apartment complex and they're married, they may be able to start something, but I'm thinking it's going to be more so of the smaller stuff um inside of their apartment complex.
00:01:32
Kim Fletcher
And
00:01:40
Kim Fletcher
yeah.
00:01:41
Tanya Ruttley
So it's not that they can't do it. um It's just if the opportunity is there and the setup is available.
Should Everyone Start Their Day with Personal Activities?
00:01:49
Kim Fletcher
and yeah That's maybe I relayed the question and where you didn't understand, but yeah, that's I'm talking about that as well, but I'm saying in general, should we be living life like get up in the mornings and say your whatever you have to say to whoever you're saying it to, if you're saying anything to anyone and then start your day off and your day is just like, am I guard reading my book? um Just checking on the business.
00:02:19
Kim Fletcher
Should we all be living like that? that was the quiz.
00:02:23
Tanya Ruttley
Um, well, Again, i think it depends because like if I go back and say when I'm like 22 years old, I had to get up and go straight to work.
00:02:35
Tanya Ruttley
Right. So meaning I can get up and exercise, get up and pray. But after that, I'm not going have time to go into a garden. Like at one point, I recall I would get up at 430 in the morning. Right.
00:02:48
Tanya Ruttley
work out in my home because I was a single parent, right? Work out in my home and then start getting my children ready so I can take them to daycare so that I can go go to work.
00:02:52
Kim Fletcher
Yeah,
00:02:59
Tanya Ruttley
So that's why I say it just depends on your situation where you are. The earlier stages of life, it it's it can become available for some. I don't know about the majority.
00:03:13
Tanya Ruttley
um Having that opportunity to be in that kind of relaxed state, you know, truth being and when we're young, we're like, we're going to get it.
00:03:21
Kim Fletcher
yeah but
00:03:25
Kim Fletcher
Right, because that's how we were trained to go get it.
00:03:27
Tanya Ruttley
Yep. Yep.
00:03:29
Kim Fletcher
So that's what I'm saying.
Training Children as Entrepreneurs: Pros and Cons
00:03:30
Kim Fletcher
If we start now with the generation coming behind or behind, behind, if we start to put in their minds that, hey, you could be your own boss, you can create, you can do this, you can do that.
00:03:42
Kim Fletcher
Don't you think they can live like that when they turn 21, 22? Because I have seen up younger person do that um when I was living in that manner. And I worked in that
00:03:53
Tanya Ruttley
Uh-huh.
00:03:54
Kim Fletcher
where where I worked, the girl, she was like a teenager and her parents had opened up account for her when she was smaller, taught her ear everything.
00:03:57
Tanya Ruttley
Uh-huh.
00:04:03
Kim Fletcher
She had a a brand new mansion house and she wasn't even 21 years old.
00:04:06
Tanya Ruttley
Uh-huh.
00:04:07
Kim Fletcher
She has 700, 800 credit score and she wasn't even 21 yet because her mother had trained her.
00:04:12
Tanya Ruttley
hu
00:04:14
Kim Fletcher
So she didn't have, she was living the life. That's what I'm saying.
00:04:18
Tanya Ruttley
Well, then that, so then if the parents prepare them, yes.
00:04:19
Kim Fletcher
Yes.
00:04:22
Tanya Ruttley
Right. So like for my children, um my first three, they left my house with a 700 plus credit score.
00:04:23
Kim Fletcher
yes Yes.
00:04:27
Tanya Ruttley
Right. Can they go straight out and get a home?
00:04:29
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:04:30
Tanya Ruttley
No, because they still didn't have that work experience. um So if the parents are able to set it up to where I guess they would have their child, young adult with a home.
00:04:43
Tanya Ruttley
Yes.
00:04:45
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:04:45
Tanya Ruttley
e I think for me, it's the reality of it. um Cause you know, I dibble and dabble with real
Financial Preparedness and Homeownership for Youth
00:04:52
Tanya Ruttley
estate as well.
00:04:53
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:04:54
Tanya Ruttley
um
00:04:54
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:04:55
Tanya Ruttley
So you can have the credit score, but have you had any type of work experience so that you can go out and get a home, right?
00:05:07
Tanya Ruttley
um Like I have my, two of two of my boys right now are set up to where
00:05:13
Tanya Ruttley
because they're in the military, you have to be at a certain rank to reside from the barracks. Once they get to that place, which is that rank, yes, they're going to have the years of working experience, but they already have the credit score.
00:05:26
Tanya Ruttley
They can go right into it, right?
00:05:30
Tanya Ruttley
But for those who aren't, military background and they're just straight off, let's say graduated high school. And you was talking about entrepreneurship, entrepreneurship, right?
00:05:42
Tanya Ruttley
There is a way that you can get mortgages, right?
00:05:42
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:05:45
Tanya Ruttley
Without even having that.
00:05:45
Kim Fletcher
No, not even, not even to talk. I'm sorry, can't hear me now.
00:05:50
Tanya Ruttley
I can't hear you. You got to come up a little bit closer to your thing.
00:05:53
Kim Fletcher
and hear
00:05:56
Tanya Ruttley
Barely come up a little bit more.
00:06:00
Tanya Ruttley
Y'all bear with us.
00:06:00
Kim Fletcher
I'm
00:06:01
Tanya Ruttley
Kim is having mic problems today, but we'll get this all sorted out by Thursday when we come back on. Go ahead.
00:06:07
Kim Fletcher
yeah i'm saying now as not so much as um buying mortgage, not so much as material things. I'm saying like you get up in the morning because you work for it. Now you can relax.
00:06:22
Kim Fletcher
I'm saying this younger generation, they are using the internet to be able to get up and do what you're doing.
00:06:23
Tanya Ruttley
Yep. Uh-huh.
00:06:30
Kim Fletcher
And I'm saying, should we be doing that every day? Is that a life? this year we Should we train our children? Should we have trained our children to do that, but we train them to go work and get it.
00:06:41
Kim Fletcher
Should we have trained them to be entrepreneurs at a younger age? So when they did get 18, 19, 20, 21, they really are working for themselves.
00:06:52
Tanya Ruttley
um I think that's possible. um But even with, let's say you're 18, 19, 20, 21, I guess I'm trying to think in the entrepreneur because entrepreneurship is a beast, you know, for one, you know,
00:07:08
Tanya Ruttley
It's not always money producing early on. Right.
Young Entrepreneurs: Foundational Support and Challenges
00:07:13
Tanya Ruttley
So, again, I guess for me, where would these young adults be staying?
00:07:13
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:07:17
Tanya Ruttley
Would they be living residing with parents? Because in order to do that, they still got to eat. Right. So are they residing with someone so that they can make sure their basic needs? And this is we're talking about just entrepreneurship and this relaxation phase. Right.
00:07:30
Tanya Ruttley
i
00:07:31
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:07:31
Tanya Ruttley
I believe they can't start off relaxed. I think you have to go get it. That doesn't necessarily mean at a job. Even if it's the entrepreneur entrepreneurship route, I don't think there's going to be really relaxation um so much.
00:07:49
Tanya Ruttley
But I guess it's a tough one because it varies. on different scenarios.
00:07:55
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:07:57
Tanya Ruttley
Like when you were saying the young lady who she had, I guess, a nice home at 21, 22, but her parents set her up that way. Right.
00:08:04
Kim Fletcher
Right. That's what I'm saying.
00:08:05
Tanya Ruttley
Um,
00:08:05
Kim Fletcher
They taught her like everything. like she She was just there to help. It wasn't really like she was there working. She was just going getting credit hours because she already had a home. Her mama ah mom and dad taught her everything to do everything. She was just getting credit So that's what I'm saying.
00:08:25
Kim Fletcher
So we lack knowledge and our kids lack knowledge.
00:08:28
Tanya Ruttley
Uh-huh.
00:08:29
Kim Fletcher
She went on to be whatever her own boss driving the Lexus at 21. What I'm i'm saying is to say maybe we are not training our kids up that way because we didn't get trained up that way.
00:08:44
Kim Fletcher
We had to go work and make
00:08:44
Tanya Ruttley
Well, see, there's a difference. I did. I did train my kids that way. And here's here's the crazy part. My oldest, he's 28. He refused to listen. so So, and that's why for me, and he's a serial entrepreneur.
00:08:58
Tanya Ruttley
And that's why say
Working for Others as a Path to Entrepreneurship
00:08:59
Tanya Ruttley
going that route is not necessarily always money producing at first. And that's why think I keep viewing the struggle and how I get up and start my day.
00:09:04
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:09:10
Tanya Ruttley
Can people get up and make God first, which I think they should, right? Your prayer, exercise um before they start their day?
00:09:14
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:09:19
Tanya Ruttley
Yes. Whether it's entrepreneurship or working, because I have more so of the mindset that even with a younger adult, It's okay to work with someone because they may be working on their craft, whatever, you know, it is that they're going to go out and be their own boss for.
00:09:39
Tanya Ruttley
Sometimes you you do have to work for someone else as you hone in and perfect your craft so that then once you get it, you can exit out.
00:09:39
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:09:42
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:09:46
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:09:48
Tanya Ruttley
So that's what i'm saying. It just varies. I can't say that I believe every person should be living like that. um Because ah a lot of times I know for myself, I didn't even know what I wanted.
00:09:54
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:09:58
Tanya Ruttley
Right. So and i I do see with my oldest son and his entrepreneurship route, which he did go to college.
00:09:59
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:10:07
Tanya Ruttley
He said that wasn't for him. Then he was making very good money at 19 years old. And he still said that's not for him. So for me, I don't, I just don't think it's as easy as do these steps without putting in a lot of work.
00:10:21
Kim Fletcher
but
00:10:24
Tanya Ruttley
I just think a lot of work is going to be there and not necessarily relaxation at first.
00:10:24
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:10:29
Kim Fletcher
Yeah, because you know, it was you go to school, you go to college, go to college, get an education, get go somewhere.
00:10:34
Tanya Ruttley
ah Yeah.
00:10:38
Kim Fletcher
So now what' what's going on with college? So that's why I'm saying should we be training the kids the way They should be going, meaning entrepreneurship or being able to, if you do have to go out and get a little training with someone, if it won't be over a year because you already know you just need the, you know, the footwork, a little footwork.
00:10:38
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:11:00
Tanya Ruttley
Well, that's how I raise mine. So um the oldest he's still on his entrepreneur route, the next two, um they're going to start their entrepreneurship journey while they're in the military.
00:11:08
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:11:13
Tanya Ruttley
Right. so that's what I'm saying. There's different steps to it.
00:11:14
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:11:16
Tanya Ruttley
um It doesn't have to be just one way. Because entrepreneurship is a beast and people have to realize they need to eat, um you know, a roof over their head.
00:11:23
Kim Fletcher
mr
00:11:29
Tanya Ruttley
um You know, like i'm I'm affording that to my oldest to where he has a roof over his head. He got food to eat, but he has to be going to get it right. He got to go after it. Because if you choose the harder route, which I think the harder route is not a job, it can deter you.
00:11:47
Kim Fletcher
But we should be we should let them stay at home. i mean, we should still be putting the bill
00:11:51
Tanya Ruttley
Yep. A lot of people are looking at that. Yeah.
00:11:54
Kim Fletcher
we should be still footing the bill
Military Experience and Entrepreneurial Pursuits
00:11:56
Kim Fletcher
until they come into the purpose or not really the purpose, but into whatever entrepreneurship they set out to have.
00:12:05
Kim Fletcher
So we should say, okay, say your son, he's 18, 19 now, and he just graduated from school, but he wants to be a screamer, screamer and should,
00:12:19
Tanya Ruttley
Streamer. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:12:22
Kim Fletcher
and shit you allow him to be that and still take care of him.
00:12:28
Tanya Ruttley
Absolutely. um Which so here's so I got to like I said, in the military, my second oldest, he joined the military at 23. Because what he did was he did go to college right after high school.
00:12:37
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:12:41
Tanya Ruttley
He stayed with me the first year because um unfortunately, it was COVID. um After his first year, the second year, he decided to go into the barracks. I'm not the barracks. I'm straight military talk, the dorm.
00:12:52
Tanya Ruttley
And when he did that, he was like, no, I'd rather go do school at home. Right. So he went to school.
00:12:58
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:13:00
Tanya Ruttley
He tried that route and it just he said it. No, just wasn't for him. So he's had that opportunity and and he just and he's been taught about entrepreneurship. Right. And he did start one business. He started a car rental business.
00:13:14
Tanya Ruttley
um He also did streaming. Right. So he's had the opportunity But they see that it's difficult. So he decided to work, which for him was joining the Air Force.
00:13:23
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:13:25
Tanya Ruttley
He's going to work and have a better chance. And we're going to tap into real estate in about a year and a half. So those are the plans that we have, right? So that he can live, work on a craft and decide if he loves it.
00:13:34
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:13:37
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:13:40
Tanya Ruttley
Because, you know, one of the great things he can decide to be an entrepreneur while he's still in the military. So especially when you're talking about real estate. So having multiple options, I believe, to set yourself up or your family, right, is is great, which is, again, why I say I'm not sure if it's really as simple as let's just tell them about the entrepreneurship.
00:14:03
Tanya Ruttley
You know, they just wake up. Work on themselves. go to their garden and work on their business. That young, I don't know.
00:14:15
Tanya Ruttley
It's possible, but I think those would be very rare situations, right?
00:14:21
Kim Fletcher
why because you've been trained to make them go to school get up go to work and a lot of parents say at 18 21 you out of here i'm not taking care you get up go do something that on computer is not doing anything to some parents
00:14:38
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:14:42
Kim Fletcher
But to me, if if I had, if I could do it over again, even my kids, I would want them to stay at home. I wanted them to stay at home, but they wanted to leave. yeah I wanted them to stay at home. You know, I would let them stay at home and pay for them to live there and do whatever, go to college, spend their money how they wanted to at that age back then.
00:15:00
Kim Fletcher
I would still do it now, but they want to be on their own because they were taught to be there.
00:15:00
Tanya Ruttley
Right.
00:15:04
Tanya Ruttley
Exactly. Ah, okay.
00:15:06
Kim Fletcher
They were taught to go work, go work.
00:15:09
Tanya Ruttley
Gotcha. So yeah I've got, I've tapped into both. That's why I feel so strongly that it really depends because with my first one, he was taught, look, you're going to milk.
00:15:16
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:15:19
Tanya Ruttley
You're going to go in the barracks. So you're going to go in the dorm. You're not going to go to McDonald's and work. You're not going to go to Walmart and work. You need to choose something that's going to have some structure.
00:15:24
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:15:26
Tanya Ruttley
Go to college, that's the dorm, or go in military, that's the barracks, right? He chose, we were first setting him up for military, he chose to switch it and go to college, and he got an academic scholarship.
00:15:30
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:15:34
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:15:38
Tanya Ruttley
And then he was just like, nope, that ain't for me, right?
00:15:39
Kim Fletcher
Okay.
00:15:42
Tanya Ruttley
Then he went and worked for some ah company.
00:15:43
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:15:45
Tanya Ruttley
um You're talking about 19 years old. He was making like $40,000 19 college.
00:15:51
Tanya Ruttley
and
00:15:52
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:15:53
Tanya Ruttley
I call not expensive area. And he was just like, oh, no, entrepreneurship's for me, right?
00:15:59
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:16:00
Tanya Ruttley
And hey,
Parental Influence on Career Choices and Independence
00:16:01
Tanya Ruttley
it's your life, do what you want. So that was the route that we went with the first one. Then the second one, like I said, he he was already being taught about entrepreneurship because that actually came in with ah my husband that I'm married to now.
00:16:15
Tanya Ruttley
This whole entrepreneurship, entrepreneurship, entrepreneurship. So he decided he wanted to go to college and he didn't want the entrepreneurship route. However... It took him going in, going to school and then and be like, OK, maybe I do want to do the entrepreneurship thing.
00:16:31
Tanya Ruttley
So while he's doing it, he's also still saying it's quite challenging while he's residing with me. Right. And then he just decided, no, I'm go ahead and go in the military.
00:16:39
Kim Fletcher
I mean.
00:16:42
Tanya Ruttley
So it was offered. Now, the third one who was the 19 year old or 18 year old straight out of high school, he was like, I'm going to military, which he already knew about the entrepreneurship.
00:16:53
Tanya Ruttley
Right. So he was like. While his senior year, he was like, well, I'll think about doing entrepreneurship, but while I'm trying to decide what I want to do, because he's wanted to do the military since he was younger.
00:17:05
Tanya Ruttley
And that's from his dad, his mom, stepmom, sibling, military, military, military. So...
00:17:12
Kim Fletcher
So
00:17:13
Tanya Ruttley
he did make up his mind right before he graduated. Nope. I'm going to go in the military and do my entrepreneurship thing while I'm there. So I was like, great. That's perfect. Which is the route that we're taking now.
00:17:25
Tanya Ruttley
So sometimes even if that's afforded to them, it may not be what they want. You have to think my mother, my father were entrepreneurs. My dad pushed entrepreneurship to me.
00:17:36
Tanya Ruttley
I didn't want it. And that's why I guess for my mind, it's not as easy as, hey, look, this is what you should do.
00:17:38
Kim Fletcher
right
00:17:43
Tanya Ruttley
The person has to also want it in some form of fashion.
00:17:47
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:17:47
Tanya Ruttley
and I did not want it. Even when I came back home at 20...
00:17:49
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:17:53
Tanya Ruttley
Three years old, i was in the military stationed at home. My father brought it back up to me and I still said, no, i that's not what I want. So I think it and it can be introduced, but I also believe in introductions, my children get to choose their path.
00:18:10
Tanya Ruttley
They can know different options.
00:18:10
Kim Fletcher
So how long do you think
00:18:12
Tanya Ruttley
Say again?
00:18:15
Kim Fletcher
how long do you think it takes the a young adult to find ah ah niche, just say a niche, to find something.
00:18:26
Tanya Ruttley
We're all different. that That's what's so crazy about it because sometimes you really just don't know what you want to do. I know 30-something-year-olds who still don't know what they want to do.
00:18:39
Tanya Ruttley
Did they go into something? Yeah. Did they even sometimes go get a degree? Yes. But it's not really what they want to do. And so they're still out here trying to figure all that stuff out, right?
00:18:50
Tanya Ruttley
You have some kids, they know what they want to do and they're 10 years old.
00:18:56
Tanya Ruttley
Meaning when they're like 20 something, that oh yeah, I knew I was going to do this when I was like 10.
00:18:56
Kim Fletcher
and
00:19:00
Tanya Ruttley
So I think we're we're all just different.
00:19:01
Kim Fletcher
it
00:19:03
Kim Fletcher
And if you listen, the the kids that say they knew they wanted to do this at 10 or something, majority of the time, um a mother or father was behind and instilled it and nourished
00:19:09
Tanya Ruttley
Mm-hmm.
00:19:20
Kim Fletcher
so that you can it could flourish.
00:19:23
Tanya Ruttley
You think so? Right.
00:19:25
Kim Fletcher
I do on some things. Just like look at,
00:19:27
Tanya Ruttley
And I think it's some things.
00:19:28
Kim Fletcher
but and
00:19:28
Tanya Ruttley
that That's the thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. On some, but not all.
00:19:30
Kim Fletcher
right, not all, but just look at just some of the famous um adults now that were kids, like ah Venus and Serena, how they were young and knew they wanted to play tennis.
00:19:33
Tanya Ruttley
Right.
00:19:44
Kim Fletcher
The daddy nourished, he watered them.
00:19:45
Tanya Ruttley
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:19:49
Kim Fletcher
It grew them to do it. That's what I'm saying. Should we, as parents, should we have nourished and watered our kids in a way that they would want to go out and be like, no, I'm not going to work.
00:20:03
Kim Fletcher
Not make wrong with McDonald's because I worked on my first job.
00:20:07
Tanya Ruttley
That was my first job. Yeah.
00:20:08
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:20:08
Tanya Ruttley
I think it's a startup. It's a starting point in life. Right.
00:20:12
Kim Fletcher
But if we had had that, maybe it'll be a little different. I think so, too.
00:20:17
Tanya Ruttley
but and All the reason why I don't think so is because that but that was that's like my life.
00:20:19
Kim Fletcher
Bye. Bye.
00:20:23
Tanya Ruttley
My dad trying to push that into me. The thing, you know, but especially the school thing, because I wanted to be a schoolteacher, so I thought. That's another thing. I jumped.
00:20:33
Kim Fletcher
Bye.
00:20:34
Tanya Ruttley
I went from wanting to be a schoolteacher to wanting to be a lawyer. to be a lawyer um I wanted to be an obstetrician. Right. So my parents was always supportive. They've never been in a position where um they wasn't helping push me in a direction.
00:20:48
Tanya Ruttley
I would always change my mind because I had no idea what I really wanted to do.
00:20:53
Kim Fletcher
Hmm.
00:20:53
Tanya Ruttley
So that's what I'm saying. Sometimes people just don't know what they want to do. And I think that happens. I don't I just don't because you can try to steer your child in a direction. A lot of times, let's take sports, for instance.
00:21:09
Tanya Ruttley
You have kids who want to play a sport. Right. And let's say they're pretty decent at it. Then parents hone in on the skill and they trying to help them, help them. And they can burn them out. So it goes both ways. They can burn them out. And the kid all of a sudden don't even want to play that sport anymore.
00:21:23
Tanya Ruttley
You know, so that's why for me, I still think it depends.
00:21:24
Kim Fletcher
and
00:21:27
Tanya Ruttley
It varies. Some people may be able to.
00:21:29
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:21:31
Tanya Ruttley
Some may not. But like you said, the opportunity should be presented because my first three and even my daughter, she she has the opportunity.
00:21:38
Kim Fletcher
It should, I think.
00:21:42
Tanya Ruttley
And you know what she told me?
00:21:44
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:21:44
Tanya Ruttley
Nope, I'm going to college. it I want the college experience. Right. So that's what i'm saying.
00:21:46
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:21:47
Tanya Ruttley
So you can offer these things. But one thing I won't do, I won't force my children to do something that I think is best for them.
00:21:54
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:21:57
Tanya Ruttley
Because, you know, you and I talk a lot about God and I think whatever God's purpose is.
00:21:57
Kim Fletcher
Never. Mm-hmm.
00:22:02
Tanya Ruttley
Whatever. my children, just like anybody else, it's an individual path.
00:22:08
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:22:09
Tanya Ruttley
So I feel that as long as I have the conversations and put it out there and make it known, then it's their right to choose the route they want to go.
00:22:15
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:22:18
Tanya Ruttley
And my daughter's, you know, her thing is she wants to teach.
00:22:19
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:22:22
Tanya Ruttley
So her route, her plan is college, get her degree, teach that what she learned as in her own business, but she want to go to college first.
00:22:32
Tanya Ruttley
You see what I'm saying? So
00:22:33
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:22:35
Tanya Ruttley
We still have to allow them to be individuals and we have to be careful, I feel, as parents trying to push something on them because it's a fault or it's because of an idea.
00:22:47
Tanya Ruttley
I think we should mold it and be like, hey, you know, well, maybe we could look into this in whatever area, you know, it is that they want because, honey, you know, we change our mind. I think we should never force them to shy away from it.
00:22:56
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:23:01
Tanya Ruttley
But if they naturally shy away from it, it should be okay. It shouldn't be forced. That's why I said it varies. That was the reason why I was saying that.
00:23:10
Kim Fletcher
Yeah. And I agree with you because I think they should be introduced to a lot of things so you can have a choice.
00:23:15
Tanya Ruttley
Yes.
00:23:17
Kim Fletcher
Like, what do you like?
00:23:17
Tanya Ruttley
Yep.
00:23:19
Kim Fletcher
and Do you like when you wake up in the morning? What will make you happy to go and do? So I think those type of things we should be doing now and feeling that we know better because when you know better, you do better.
00:23:27
Tanya Ruttley
Okay. Absolutely. Absolutely.
00:23:30
Kim Fletcher
So now that we know better, we can do better by the next generation coming up.
00:23:36
Tanya Ruttley
Mm-hmm. Yes, honey.
00:23:38
Kim Fletcher
Because we you know, probably we may miss the mark a little bit with
Passing Down Knowledge Through Generations
00:23:44
Kim Fletcher
our generation with our kids in the world, you know, is going crazy now.
00:23:44
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:23:49
Kim Fletcher
And maybe because we didn't put that time into those kids, like I'm saying, maybe we should have been, look, let's learn how to plant a water metal and grow it or something we would, you know, we were about ourselves.
00:24:03
Kim Fletcher
So yeah.
00:24:04
Tanya Ruttley
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:06
Kim Fletcher
Yeah. So
00:24:06
Tanya Ruttley
but say and and you And you know what's so crazy? i agree, but, and I think that's what grandparents are for too. I think wisdom is is, God gave us wisdom at certain times in life, right?
00:24:16
Tanya Ruttley
There's different stages.
00:24:17
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:24:18
Tanya Ruttley
And I think that's why grandparents are important.
00:24:18
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:24:20
Tanya Ruttley
So that whatever the parents lack, the grandparents can pick up.
00:24:21
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:24:24
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:24:25
Tanya Ruttley
Like my mom, she did the the um the garden stuff. And my daughter remembered, she's 16.
00:24:29
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:24:32
Tanya Ruttley
She remembered more so than I, where my mother grew, you know?
00:24:36
Kim Fletcher
night
00:24:36
Tanya Ruttley
That wasn't my thing at the time, but she remembered, you know. So I think the beauty of family is where young adults are growing, finding themselves still.
00:24:47
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:24:49
Tanya Ruttley
You have grandparents that can step in and have something to offer, right, to help the generations continue to evolve within their bloodline.
00:24:53
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:24:55
Kim Fletcher
That's right. and
00:25:00
Tanya Ruttley
Like you and I was talking about our gardening and how, you know, you're already passing it along on to your grandchildren.
00:25:00
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:25:05
Tanya Ruttley
I don't have any yet.
00:25:05
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:25:06
Tanya Ruttley
But when I get some, I want to be able to instill that so they'll know how to heal themselves, right?
00:25:07
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:25:12
Kim Fletcher
That's right.
00:25:12
Tanya Ruttley
Just by the the weeds in the yard and how to heal themselves with the food that they put in their mouth that they can make and grow at home.
00:25:12
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:25:20
Tanya Ruttley
Because as a young adult, I didn't know that.
00:25:23
Kim Fletcher
Even in walk on look we walk on the grass. you Take your shoes off and walk in the grass.
00:25:28
Tanya Ruttley
Yes, take your shoes off.
00:25:29
Kim Fletcher
Come along with nature.
00:25:29
Tanya Ruttley
Yes.
00:25:30
Kim Fletcher
Learn that.
00:25:31
Tanya Ruttley
Yes.
00:25:31
Kim Fletcher
like When I was growing up, I guess that's why we're so tough and healthy.
00:25:32
Tanya Ruttley
Yes.
00:25:35
Kim Fletcher
When we were growing up, I didn't wear shoes. They knew me as, wear your shoes every day. you know um i have on an outfit looking fly or whatever you want to say, but no shoes.
00:25:45
Tanya Ruttley
Mm-hmm.
00:25:46
Kim Fletcher
I would always wear socks. I was always one with nature.
00:25:48
Tanya Ruttley
Right.
00:25:50
Kim Fletcher
And I think maybe that's going as well.
Health Benefits of Nature from Childhood
00:25:55
Tanya Ruttley
I think so.
00:25:55
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:25:56
Tanya Ruttley
Cause if, if you, if you, yeah.
00:25:56
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:25:57
Tanya Ruttley
Cause if you tie it all together, shoot, most people probably can't even walk in there. I'm not trying to be funny. They probably can't walk in their grass, all the pesticides and chemicals in it, trying to make their yard beautiful. Right.
00:26:07
Tanya Ruttley
So, and so now I'm, I'm regretting purchasing homes and making sure the yard is so pretty and honey.
00:26:08
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:26:15
Kim Fletcher
aye
00:26:16
Tanya Ruttley
That's why my backyard, uh-uh. No, no, no, no. This is all in its natural state. Now, my front yard, I still, ah I'm in the HOA.
00:26:21
Kim Fletcher
And that's it.
00:26:24
Tanya Ruttley
But plus, I still like the nice green, you know, front yard, but not my back. And not my backyard is, of course, like most people, everybody is bigger than the front. And that we can walk back there with with our shoes off, right?
00:26:33
Kim Fletcher
Yes. Mm-hmm.
00:26:36
Tanya Ruttley
Right. But that that came from not my parents teaching me that. Just I think more information is out now or let me not say out now, available, right, to us to find out some things because there are just some things our parents didn't know.
00:26:43
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:26:46
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:26:49
Kim Fletcher
right
00:26:54
Tanya Ruttley
So we can't fault them for what they didn't know.
Social Media's Role in Alternative Lifestyles
00:26:57
Tanya Ruttley
And the reason why we have access to it is because of social media.
00:27:02
Kim Fletcher
social media and and and so we have to step in another conversation we have to step in for these kids that's why say again should we be training them the way they should go the word that say train your child up the way they should go
00:27:03
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah. So that's how we're learning a lot of this stuff.
00:27:10
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:27:19
Kim Fletcher
Should we be training them up to go to school, get a job, work hard.
00:27:19
Tanya Ruttley
yeah
00:27:24
Kim Fletcher
We train them. Should we be training them that way or another way? well How should we be training them? when should we allow them, say, you're done.
00:27:34
Kim Fletcher
No more being on your mama's little, yeah, you know no more of that.
00:27:41
Tanya Ruttley
Nipple. We can say that, right?
00:27:44
Kim Fletcher
you know I didn't want to say it because you don't know.
00:27:45
Tanya Ruttley
That's my favorite saying, you know, uh-uh.
00:27:46
Kim Fletcher
what you know
00:27:48
Tanya Ruttley
So,
00:27:49
Kim Fletcher
When is the time for that?
00:27:49
Tanya Ruttley
so
00:27:53
Kim Fletcher
When do we turn a loose? ah
00:27:56
Tanya Ruttley
So again, think that depends. Each child is different, right? So if we treat everybody as one straight, I think you're going to get in trouble with that, right?
00:28:04
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:28:09
Tanya Ruttley
Talking to someone who have, you know, six children. Can you imagine every last one of them being taught the exact same thing, the exact same? i don't I don't think that's going to work, right?
00:28:20
Kim Fletcher
right
00:28:20
Tanya Ruttley
Because look at my 19-year-old right at 18. He was getting up out of here. He would have left at 18, but his slot wasn't open yet. That's the only reason why he turned 19 in basic training.
00:28:32
Tanya Ruttley
If it was up to him, he was gone. The second one, the 23 year old, you know, he was, he was, like I said, COVID, COVID got him. But after that first year in college where he was in a dorm, he was just like, no, he, he didn't care for that. And he came back home and went to school.
00:28:48
Tanya Ruttley
And then again, you know, like my oldest, he was totally different. So I think it depends on the child, um,
00:28:53
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:28:55
Tanya Ruttley
I'm not one of those parents who, who's all up in your, as far as every step that you take.
Parental Support in Entrepreneurial Endeavors
00:29:02
Tanya Ruttley
However, I give you room to grow. I watch you. i give you my advice.
00:29:08
Tanya Ruttley
um And at some point it may get to a like with my oldest, he's 28. He's going through trying to figure some stuff out, right. Still moving through. I'm not at a point yet where in my mind, I'm like,
00:29:22
Tanya Ruttley
Oh, yeah, you you know what? Because he's he's, what I see in him now, I hadn't seen in him before. And he's up early in the morning to late at night on his entrepreneurship. And that's something I feel people have to do.
00:29:35
Tanya Ruttley
You have to put in that time. You have to be studying for whatever it is that you want and moving in it. And he's doing all of that at the same time. So when that's happening, I don't think you have to put anything on them because they're already moving in it.
00:29:49
Kim Fletcher
Yeah, but you we have to you have to look and see that he got it.
00:29:49
Tanya Ruttley
I think they're not.
00:29:53
Kim Fletcher
He he he got it from somewhere. So he saw it from somewhere and it was you.
00:29:59
Kim Fletcher
So it was like you were teaching him. So he's picking it up like I'm after my mom, a serial entrepreneur because we are.
00:29:59
Tanya Ruttley
Right, right.
00:30:09
Tanya Ruttley
Right, right.
00:30:09
Kim Fletcher
So he's, yeah. So yeah, understand that. Yeah. So i think I think we should be picking up Thursday on why do kids want to leave home as soon as
Preview of Next Episode: Why Do Children Leave Home Early?
00:30:21
Kim Fletcher
they graduate? away Like what? Do we run them away?
00:30:24
Kim Fletcher
what
00:30:26
Tanya Ruttley
I think so.
00:30:28
Kim Fletcher
You know, do we run them away? So I think we need to talk about that Thursday. Like, why do kids want to leave us so fast?
00:30:31
Tanya Ruttley
That's a good one.
00:30:36
Kim Fletcher
18, 19, I'm, bye, Moni.
00:30:37
Tanya Ruttley
i think if you even stop and put yourself and go backwards, which is something to think about for Thursdays, why did you want to?
00:30:43
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:30:44
Tanya Ruttley
Right. And I think that taps into the reality of why they want to.
00:30:45
Kim Fletcher
Yeah, right. Yeah. o I hope that wasn't the reason why they want mine.
00:30:49
Tanya Ruttley
And yeah.
00:30:52
Tanya Ruttley
ah No, no, no.
00:30:53
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:30:54
Tanya Ruttley
For me, what I mean by that is independency, right? So that's something we'll tap into.
00:30:59
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:30:59
Tanya Ruttley
I guess we we don't want to kind of get into it um just yet.
00:31:01
Kim Fletcher
Yeah. you Yeah.
00:31:04
Tanya Ruttley
um
00:31:04
Kim Fletcher
Yeah. Yes.
00:31:05
Tanya Ruttley
It'll be better for us to have that conversation there because I think if we if we do it now, honey, yeah, I think we'll be able to just continue on.
00:31:09
Kim Fletcher
Yes.
00:31:16
Kim Fletcher
Yes, we would. and So it's what, should we go? Or mean, 30 minutes, would we go with three minutes?
00:31:25
Tanya Ruttley
Oh, we're over three minutes already.
00:31:27
Kim Fletcher
We are. did you Are you looking at the time?
00:31:30
Tanya Ruttley
Oh, honey, look, um I was enjoying myself.
00:31:32
Kim Fletcher
I know, right? Like, the time goes away.
00:31:33
Tanya Ruttley
Okay.
00:31:35
Kim Fletcher
That's what I say. So pick up on Thursday on why do our babies want to leave us so fast? Don't want to stay at home. Do we push them away or are they just independency? Want to leave?
00:31:45
Tanya Ruttley
okay Okay. Yeah. So we'll definitely have to tap into that one on Thursday, you guys. So Episode two is in the books. Thank you for joining from Startup to Takeover Watch Us Work podcast.
00:31:56
Kim Fletcher
Thank
00:32:01
Tanya Ruttley
Again, with myself, Kim, up Kim and Latrice. um And we will see you guys on Thursday. Good night.
00:32:08
Kim Fletcher
Have a good night.