Transcript
Tanya Ruttley: Hey, I'm just going to look at Oh, good.
Kim Fletcher: Hello, hello, hello.
Tanya Ruttley: All right. Hello, you guys.
Kim Fletcher: Welcome back.
Tanya Ruttley: Welcome back. Hi, Kim. How are you?
Kim Fletcher: Latrice. How are you doing today?
Tanya Ruttley: I'm okay. I just left the gym, honey. ain't had time to do nothing, but I'm good. i was like, I told my daughter, yeah, she was going to drive.
Kim Fletcher: good? Uh-huh.
Tanya Ruttley: Um, she went with me to the gym. So I was like, um, uh, you driving back home? Cause I got to hurry get back. Uh, my podcast. So she was looking like I'm tired.
Kim Fletcher: Okay, okay.
Tanya Ruttley: So I ended up driving back, but yeah, so I'm good. How was your day?
Kim Fletcher: and It was good. It was a good day. I got out today. So I got out for a little bit. It was good. Got some good fresh air. Yes.
Tanya Ruttley: oo Good. So you did some walking? Because I know your back was hurting.
Kim Fletcher: I did.
Tanya Ruttley: You did some walking? Oh, good.
Kim Fletcher: I did. I did. i was able to get in the car and out of the car, but I still had the back brace on, but I'm good.
Tanya Ruttley: But you're good. Okay.
Kim Fletcher: I am good, yeah. No spasms.
Tanya Ruttley: Well, good.
Kim Fletcher: I'm good.
Tanya Ruttley: So then, yeah, you're good.
Tanya Ruttley: All right, you guys. So you can see today our title um is Snatched or Pressured?
Kim Fletcher: yeah
Tanya Ruttley: Women, the BBLs, and those big mummy makeovers. So Kim, I wanted to, this is why I wanted to touch this today.
Kim Fletcher: why
Tanya Ruttley: i saw something where um Cardi B, which I think she's out of pocket cause she's still married, but anyways, the guy she was dating seems he made um a comment about the the bad part of the BBL, right?
Kim Fletcher: Right.
Tanya Ruttley: Outside of the funny shaping arrows of that nature um about how bad they smell.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: So it it I had heard it before, and I will say the very first time I heard it, though, was maybe about three weeks ago.
Kim Fletcher: Hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: I saw it on another post. um A friend of mine who I'm pretty close with, she was saying that a woman posted and was talking about how bad it smelled and why she got rid of it.
Kim Fletcher: Thank you.
Tanya Ruttley: So it just made me think, why do us women go through Something like that, right? um The extreme stuff, the mommy makeover, the BBLs.
Tanya Ruttley: And I wanted to know, is that really about us or something more? Do you have any thoughts about it?
Kim Fletcher: Well, my thoughts are, i think people do things for a different reasons.
Tanya Ruttley: Mm-hmm.
Kim Fletcher: So maybe, you know, when people want to get cosmetic surgeries, it's for different reasons. It could be for them. It could be for them to get the attention of someone else.
Kim Fletcher: So it could be more than one reason. Me, myself, you know, I'm with God. This is what you gave me, these little apples or whatever. That's what I'm okay. But of the the people, you better say, baby, what?
Tanya Ruttley: She said the little apple, the little the little pencil erasers. That's what I would say about my mom.
Kim Fletcher: You know, I just feel like people enhance. We enhance with hair.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: We enhance with makeup.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Kim Fletcher: People enhance, you know, they enhance the breath and the blood. They enhance and people do it for
Tanya Ruttley: But I wonder if is is the BBLs and the mommy makers but makeovers because I will tell you, I once thought about it, right? So I wondered,
Tanya Ruttley: is it pressure? Pressure of acceptance. When I say that, a lot of people think it's, you're doing it for um attention.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: You are. Any type of way you want to look at it, it's still going to come back to attention, whether it's attention for yourself to feel good. It's attention from men. It's attention from other women.
Tanya Ruttley: So I think it's like you, it's going to be various reasons, right? But attention definitely is in there.
Kim Fletcher: And then people, the some, not all people, but most people in the world now, um
Kim Fletcher: They kind of um get the raw deal. going to just give you an example. Like um it makes them want to do it. Some people, not all, when they come into this kind of thing, I've seen it on YouTube.
Kim Fletcher: they they were I think they were in Miami somewhere and they were trying to get into the club.
Tanya Ruttley: ah
Kim Fletcher: And because they were dark skinned and they were big, you know, kind of had a little weight on them, they couldn't get in the club. So they had to be, I guess, slim, light, long hair.
Tanya Ruttley: ah hey So in other words, they had me back in the ninety s the eighty s and the ninety s
Kim Fletcher: So, or they had, had well, i'm I'm sure they had BBLs.
Tanya Ruttley: Huh? In the eighties and the nineties?
Kim Fletcher: eat
Tanya Ruttley: Oh, okay.
Kim Fletcher: No, no. I'm saying now this was happening like a few days.
Tanya Ruttley: Oh, gotcha. No, no. what You said, I'm sure they had BBLs. Who is, who, who are you talking about when we say they?
Kim Fletcher: The people in the club, the ones that they were letting in there.
Tanya Ruttley: Oh, that was already let in. Gotcha.
Kim Fletcher: Right. I'm sure they were like the Instagram model type girls.
Tanya Ruttley: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Kim Fletcher: And the ones that were trying to get in, they weren't allowed because they were darker skinned and they were heavyset.
Tanya Ruttley: Mm-hmm.
Kim Fletcher: So I feel like, uh, some of that could cause people, some, some people to want to go and get cosmetic surgeries to fit in, to feel like like I can get, yep.
Tanya Ruttley: yeah Right. Pressure.
Kim Fletcher: Pressure. I can get, let me do this and I can get him or I can get her.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: I mean, we will, I can get whoever.
Tanya Ruttley: Right. That's what was saying is it's really about they want to get snatched for themselves or is it really pressure?
Kim Fletcher: Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: Because so for myself, right, I'll i'll be vulnerable here. I have five children that I birthed, right?
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm. Right.
Tanya Ruttley: um Never had a C-section. Never really had a problem with like having a huge gut, um even though I had five children. However...
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: I think from seeing it over and over and over again, plus, you know, my weight had gotten up there too. But from seeing it over and over again, the people with the almost, not being funny, the they have the same body though.
Tanya Ruttley: that's that one That was the downside, right?
Kim Fletcher: Yeah. yeah
Tanya Ruttley: No matter how much weight I did gain, I still kept my shape.
Kim Fletcher: yeah
Tanya Ruttley: But i found myself I found myself wanting to remove a piece of fat from the back, right? Like around the brush.
Kim Fletcher: addly
Tanya Ruttley: And it's not even that big, right?
Kim Fletcher: yeah
Tanya Ruttley: I found myself wanting to remove that little piece, ah not get fake breasts, but lift my natural breasts.
Kim Fletcher: Right.
Tanya Ruttley: I found out that was a thing. I didn't need to do anything with butt, honey, because it's just naturally there. i Let my husband tell her it ain't that big.
Kim Fletcher: Naturally.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah, that's a lie.
Kim Fletcher: Naturally.
Tanya Ruttley: But yeah, he tried to...
Kim Fletcher: It's big, bro. Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: He cut down like i don't have no booty.
Kim Fletcher: yeah
Tanya Ruttley: But look, so I even, you know, sent the pictures in and the doctor told the lady that did my consult.
Kim Fletcher: Yeah, what?
Tanya Ruttley: Oh, he said, you need no BBL. I said, i wasn't trying to get a BBL.
Kim Fletcher: Because that's what he did.
Tanya Ruttley: That was never a part of it.
Kim Fletcher: He's so used to that.
Tanya Ruttley: But he immediately saw it. I'm like, yeah, she don't need one. I was like, no, I knew I have a butt.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: But I did find myself. wanting, and here's another piece. husband is younger than me too. So I found myself wanting to tighten some stuff and I'm glad, I thank God I did not do it.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: I didn't do any of it. Right. Um, but I did get caught up in the, Ooh, what if, what if I can go back in time?
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: Right. Um, but I feel it's not necessary. I had to get back to where I love me.
Kim Fletcher: That's right.
Tanya Ruttley: And I love me with the changes and the growth.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: And the beautiful thing is I don't want to erase the fact that I birth five freaking children.
Kim Fletcher: You got to believe it.
Tanya Ruttley: I am a mother.
Kim Fletcher: um
Tanya Ruttley: And go ahead.
Kim Fletcher: go I feel like Holly Berry, like she said, people, it's a mind thing. If you retrain your mind, retrain your mind, drain you change your thinking.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: yeah
Kim Fletcher: Holly Berry said her mother made her sleep in a bra every night to keep her breasts perky.
Tanya Ruttley: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Kim Fletcher: She never had to go get anything because she did what it took to do it.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: Right. That's how we did when we was younger.
Kim Fletcher: And I think, right.
Tanya Ruttley: Me my sister. Yeah, we so always slept in a bra.
Kim Fletcher: Yes, you keep them perky.
Tanya Ruttley: Yep.
Tanya Ruttley: Yep.
Kim Fletcher: And in because so much cosmetic and you see the immediate change, people run to that.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: And no, you can take your care of your body because people are getting sick from this stuff.
Tanya Ruttley: Right. Yeah. Yeah. And I just thought it was so mean of him to, um, I don't care for her.
Tanya Ruttley: I'll say that for other reasons, Cardi B, Cardi B.
Kim Fletcher: Who? Who? Okay.
Tanya Ruttley: However, for him to get on there and, um,
Kim Fletcher: Okay.
Tanya Ruttley: really down her for her, that insecurity um and really just go into the, well, it stinks so bad. I don't know. I think sometimes men can be, and not sometimes men can be cruel.
Tanya Ruttley: And I just thought all the things that women do, For one, they look good. they you We do want to look at ourselves in the mirror with no clothes on. They go, okay, we we're human. So I get that, wanting to look at yourself and then and love what you see.
Tanya Ruttley: But we also want our man to enjoy it, right? So I think the pressures got to her because when you see her before and her after, extreme change, right?
Tanya Ruttley: And so she's done those things. But I just feel like maybe the conversation should be had women woman to woman. Women, we can start having these conversations to talk to each other and to have self-love.
Tanya Ruttley: it's It's not about we don't care what a man thinking, what a man see, because that's a lie. Right. But we've got to get them to understand natural bodies are Right.
Tanya Ruttley: There's nothing wrong with a natural body, whether that booty is little, it's in between, or it's humongous.
Kim Fletcher: yeah if It's crazy.
Kim Fletcher: That's right.
Tanya Ruttley: Stretch marks, titties may start, breasts may start to come down a little bit.
Kim Fletcher: That's right. And all. That's
Tanya Ruttley: We've had children, we've breastfed. So theyre these this is the circle of life.
Kim Fletcher: right.
Tanya Ruttley: We have got to also educate these men.
Kim Fletcher: That's right.
Tanya Ruttley: Now, if they want to go out there and get the false things, remember, I think there's a lot that comes with it. That's why, and that ain't the type of man I'm trying to have to leave my household anyway. But remember, saying I want men to do better in their selections.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: That's one of them. Stop being so superficial. A lot of times we as women do go out and do these dangerous things because, like you said, even with something as simple as, which is so sad, can't get in a club.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: You know what i mean?
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: The pressure behind being so judgmental of the outside of us women.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm. And then when you go get these enhancements for the men and they do something like this, talk about you, it's it's not right.
Tanya Ruttley: Girl, it's not. It's horrible. And then when they talk about you, that's what they chase.
Kim Fletcher: I don't care.
Tanya Ruttley: You know, it's funny how they he's dogging her. And I think they said she came back and said something what most women say, try to go, not all, but most I've heard say something about his penis eye, right? tried to talk She tried to hit him back.
Tanya Ruttley: But no, absolutely.
Kim Fletcher: But she shouldn't have to do that.
Tanya Ruttley: She should not have. But I just find it so horrible. Horrible. Horrible. horrific that men claim they don't want this type of woman. That ain't what they looking for, but that's exactly what they on social media scrolling for.
Tanya Ruttley: And then as soon as they have an opportunity to get with the person who more than likely may have some type of self-esteem issue because we all go through it.
Kim Fletcher: Yeah. Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: No, none of us are perfect, right? May have some self-esteem issue, which can dive into
Kim Fletcher: Right.
Tanya Ruttley: us taking on something like this and then kind of like hitting her at her lowest. You think she don't smell it? So it's kind of like, why not be a man and have a conversation with her privately, which they probably shouldn't, they shouldn't have been together anyway because she's still married and so is husband, but they doing their thing. And I just thought how, how petty of him to do it openly to talk about that versus maybe sitting down with his brothers and saying, yo, man, maybe we need to talk to these women, let them know they don't need to be having these BBLs and stuff like that because, you know, because he can see that something's off.
Tanya Ruttley: But instead he want to get on social social media and blast her for something they prefer.
Kim Fletcher: yeah
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: Yes. That they prefer. That women are getting some of them, like I say, some people are getting it for themselves, for their own personal whatever, for themselves.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: So but when you say the person, Oh, go ahead.
Kim Fletcher: yeah yeah Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: You got to finish your statement. Go ahead.
Kim Fletcher: They're getting this for themselves. But some of them are getting them for the fame and the fortune and the men. And you doing these things, if you look, the longevity of relationships are not lasting.
Tanya Ruttley: No matter what your body look like or their face look like. So, so let me, let me say this. So when you say, um, they're doing it for themselves. Okay.
Kim Fletcher: All
Tanya Ruttley: Here's why i know women like to say that that oh I'm not doing it for a man. Here's why also threw in they also doing it for other women, meaning attention, right?
Kim Fletcher: right.
Tanya Ruttley: But even when they say they're doing it for themselves, that's the only one, even though I hear them say it, I find it hard to believe that's what it's really about.
Tanya Ruttley: Here's why. If they do it for themselves and get no attention, right? thats I mean, there's there's crickets. No one says anything.
Kim Fletcher: but
Tanya Ruttley: How do you, how would they feel?
Kim Fletcher: and but i don't i don't know think i don't think they will I don't think they are doing it for attention. Maybe some are percentage, but I think they some of them are doing it because they want to make sure they're in the running.
Tanya Ruttley: That's attention though.
Kim Fletcher: They look just as good as the next person.
Tanya Ruttley: How is that not? But if you're in the running, that's attention. Okay. Let me ask you this. If you're in the running, what are you running for?
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm. I mean, to stay, get your husband, to get your husband or your significant other or whoever you're looking for.
Tanya Ruttley: The what now? Say it one more time for me.
Tanya Ruttley: ah well So is it for, isn't that attention? Because you have to get their attention first. Because if you're doing it to your body to say, I want to, I'm trying to get my husband or I'm trying, because you're still, you're trying to be seen. That's attention.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: You see what I'm saying? it kind it It's going along with the lines when they try to say, I'm not doing this for no man. I just call bullshit because...
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: You're doing it for attention. That's why say even it's for yourself to look in the mirror and that's attention. But let me say this. I don't believe, ah again, 100% that it's not for a man to notice or other women to compliment you. Because again, if they receive not one compliment, because they're saying it's just for them, how do you think they would feel?
Tanya Ruttley: They're going unseen. That's why I call BS on it. And I think it's pressure because, because you want,
Kim Fletcher: ah I really don't know where it come from because i'm I'm trying to figure out when did it start and how did it start because I'm i'm i'm an older person.
Tanya Ruttley: I don't know either. I don't, ah well, let me say this.
Kim Fletcher: I'm an older person in the ninety
Tanya Ruttley: Did it start with the Kardashians trying to make their body look like,
Kim Fletcher: No, it it may have, because in the ninety if you go back, yeah, if you go back and just look at all the videos, because we had videos in the 90s. So if you go back and look at all the videos and all the celebrities, they were small, they had small breasts, they wore clothes, they didn't have any big butts.
Tanya Ruttley: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Kim Fletcher: And they were, they were, people wanted them. You know what i'm saying? They were wanted. They were wanted. They were looked at. They were sexy.
Tanya Ruttley: And, but you'd still had, i think that was the select, um um unfortunately, i I do believe that was more so trying to get the, so back then they had this European look, right?
Kim Fletcher: So where did this come from?
Kim Fletcher: Right.
Tanya Ruttley: But you had black women, i don't care how small we are, we we're shapely.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: So at that time, when you go back to like the 80s and the 90s and the videos, those girls were slim, but they still had a shape.
Kim Fletcher: That's what I'm saying.
Tanya Ruttley: So what I think happened was they eventually wanted the other women, yeah, to have that look.
Kim Fletcher: they And it was natural.
Tanya Ruttley: That's what I think happened. And it got out of hand. Now the timeline for, I don't, I really don't know.
Kim Fletcher: yeah
Tanya Ruttley: I think we all looked up and it was there. right? It was like, in our faces.
Kim Fletcher: Yeah, it was there.
Tanya Ruttley: um And so that's why I think it just wasn't about being snatched.
Kim Fletcher: Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: I really think it's the pressure of the world. um And I think we've got to first acknowledge we do care how others see us. We care whether it's a man or a woman, because, you know, if I see a woman who's dressed nice, shaped nice, be like, oh, gone girl.
Tanya Ruttley: I have no problem giving that sister, whomever, a compliment.
Kim Fletcher: Yeah. add and had
Tanya Ruttley: Now, So when people say they're not doing it for other people, I just think we first have to acknowledge it is an issue that we care about what others think. Right.
Tanya Ruttley: Because if someone said, oh, you look old, you know, versus, oh, you look young.
Kim Fletcher: yeah
Tanya Ruttley: You still appreciate that. And it's OK to appreciate recognition. So I think first we got to realize why we do it and acknowledge that it's truth.
Kim Fletcher: right
Tanya Ruttley: Then maybe we can get away from the pressure. But the men have got to be honest and not just have these women going out here feeling like they're inefficient, going out here getting stuff that they claim they really don't want. and And even if they want it temporarily, they're still wrong because they're pushing us.
Tanya Ruttley: into this, this danger zone of going in and getting all these tucks, tucks and not even paying attention to y'all wouldn't even be on earth if it wasn't for our bodies going through these changes.
Kim Fletcher: just aside
Tanya Ruttley: You know saying? It's like, where's the appreciation of life? Because our bodies go through the changes because we brought you here.
Kim Fletcher: and God right and God can he he have and he is he can stop the aging
Kim Fletcher: you i mean you are still aged but he you can he will still keep you looking flawless but you will still be aging. and But people have done so much to their bodies, you can't tell the natural
Kim Fletcher: from the real. I mean, from the fake.
Tanya Ruttley: Hmm. Well, I wanted people to at me say oho she got her butt down, but I didn't.
Kim Fletcher: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: Right there, if they look at your butt, they will say you got your butt done. Because it is a big butt, but that you've been having do.
Tanya Ruttley: Wait a minute, Rebecca.
Kim Fletcher: You been had that bad, Dora.
Tanya Ruttley: it
Kim Fletcher: You've had that bad, ever.
Tanya Ruttley: Look, and you know what's so crazy? I don't even think I got it until like 19. nineteen
Kim Fletcher: Those babies.
Tanya Ruttley: eight 18, 19, before my baby, like 18, like right out of high school, cause I wasn't doing sports.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm. But you were little, yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: I think soon as I stopped doing sports, which was my junior year, I just decided, I tried to do the, was just like, I don't want to do no sports. So like my junior year, I stopped. So I want to say my senior year, turned 18 at the beginning of my senior year.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: I want to say I started noticing, right?
Kim Fletcher: Cause it was getting rubbed.
Tanya Ruttley: um Because I was still up and down. was the so I was like a seven, eight, maybe a nine. But
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: Wait minute, don't do that. So then, so then, don't be telling my business.
Kim Fletcher: and
Kim Fletcher: it
Tanya Ruttley: So then, so then, you know, but it was still, I was still almost straight up and down minus, you know, just a little pop. And, and even up until I had my second child, when I had my second baby, I still hadn't gained, you know, no weight or anything like that majorly.
Kim Fletcher: yeah
Tanya Ruttley: So after that though, yeah, it's, yeah, my butt got big, you know.
Kim Fletcher: And it was natural.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah, natural.
Kim Fletcher: And you stayed in the gym to keep it together?
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah, mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: Right, right, right.
Kim Fletcher: and
Tanya Ruttley: You know, and I do the gym thing because, you know, understanding that this is a body that is on loan, right? And I have to take care of, you know, my body. And I want to be that grandmother.
Tanya Ruttley: always say great grandmother. Child, look, I'm about to be 49. I don't got no grandchildren yet. I always say great grandmother in the gym with her great grandkids. But they're like, that's your great grandmother. My grandbaby's going to be like, yeah.
Kim Fletcher: Yeah. can
Tanya Ruttley: That's what I say I want to be.
Kim Fletcher: Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: um So I want, but I, you what now?
Kim Fletcher: I never had to be in the gym. So I never had to be in the gym. So when my grandkids friends see me or even strangers in the street, they think those are my kids. Cause look like they're mud. I look young. Like I'm their mother.
Kim Fletcher: And I say I'm their grandmother and they think I'm young.
Tanya Ruttley: ah hey
Kim Fletcher: And I'd be like, Nope.
Tanya Ruttley: yeah
Kim Fletcher: Nope.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah, i' i not I'm talking about, well, I'm more so like the body, um the keeping up of your body, right? You would, let me tell you, you know, I look at like you, I be like, let me tell you, I used tell people I got a cousin, baby.
Kim Fletcher: same thing
Kim Fletcher: yeah
Tanya Ruttley: She gonna have some kids like she have, when I say zero, stomach on flat, flat. Wasn't that a rap song?
Kim Fletcher: yeah um yeah what yeah but baby i'll be trying to stay out the donuts and now latrice but it give me a paint i know i can't keep waiting
Tanya Ruttley: Stomach on flat, flat.
Tanya Ruttley: I got you, but you still slim. You know what i mean? And I think that's also genetic. Hmm?
Kim Fletcher: ah Yeah, it's genetic. That's why I say it could be genetics as well, because I try to gain weight.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: I i take um the the stuff from the, I used to buy the stuff from the GNN store to take it overnight to get the muscles like the men just to get weight. But maybe none of that worked.
Tanya Ruttley: Uh...
Kim Fletcher: And I just, and now I appreciate it.
Tanya Ruttley: No, because you would have to be in the gym. So all you would have needed to do was lift some weights, right? Because, and it it it would have toned girl.
Kim Fletcher: Right.
Tanya Ruttley: Even now, well, i know because, you know you know what i mean?
Kim Fletcher: yeah but Yeah, but if I could, I understand what you said.
Tanya Ruttley: tom Yeah. Girl, baby, because see you already teeny tiny, baby, and you put them weights, they be like, wait, wait a minute.
Kim Fletcher: Yeah. I know it now. I know it. I know it. I really know it. I know it.
Tanya Ruttley: Ha, ha.
Kim Fletcher: I be trying not even let nobody to see me, baby. what Let me chill.
Tanya Ruttley: Girl, they'll be like, Grandma, who?
Kim Fletcher: Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: What?
Kim Fletcher: and I don't, for real, like, don't
Tanya Ruttley: Because you already got that young face. Girl, you get the weights in.
Kim Fletcher: I really don't. I don't be trying to do nothing. like
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: If I could exercise though, I said, I'll get these girls to run for their money and let you see.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: Maybe nothing bal but this hair.
Tanya Ruttley: Baby. Yes. Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: Nothing but this hair would I want to buy it.
Tanya Ruttley: one
Kim Fletcher: That's it. and no so
Tanya Ruttley: one huh
Kim Fletcher: If you can get it, you can do it.
Tanya Ruttley: yeah yeah
Kim Fletcher: You can do it. You're going change your mind.
Tanya Ruttley: They do.
Kim Fletcher: Yes.
Tanya Ruttley: They do. And I think we just got to accept ourselves and understand that we can work on it. It's not about, least for me, it's not necessarily about going back to how I used to be.
Kim Fletcher: yeah
Tanya Ruttley: I've given life to five beautiful, badass, just kidding, kind of, sort of,
Kim Fletcher: Yes. Yes.
Kim Fletcher: Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: children you know and my body have went up down up down and I'm now more appreciative of the sacrifice I made with my body and whoever don't like it don't look don't look yeah
Kim Fletcher: Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: man
Kim Fletcher: Don't look. I thank God for my body because he gave me this. it could I could have been missing some parts and every all kind of stuff, but no.
Tanya Ruttley: yeah
Kim Fletcher: And then I took care. i'm not yeah I maintained what he gave me
Tanya Ruttley: yeah yeah
Kim Fletcher: Even up and down because that's your body's up and down. I've lost weight, been so skinny, but still was healthy. I don't know how that was, but up and down, up and down.
Tanya Ruttley: yeah
Kim Fletcher: It's like you have to have a mindset. If I had someone to tell me these things when I was younger to him, lift weights. Lift weights, do this, do that.
Tanya Ruttley: yeah
Kim Fletcher: you don't You won't ever have to go and get any enhancement because you're doing it naturally. If I had someone to tell me that, then I probably would have done that, but I didn't have anyone to tell me that. You you understand what I'm saying?
Tanya Ruttley: Right. Right.
Kim Fletcher: so i taking care right
Tanya Ruttley: but Right. Me either.
Kim Fletcher: So I'm taking care of my body the the kind of way I know how to learn as I go.
Tanya Ruttley: ah ha
Kim Fletcher: So now I know I can tell the next generation.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah. Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: I can help them along.
Tanya Ruttley: Absolutely.
Kim Fletcher: Be like, girl, you're gorgeous. You don't need anything. Enhance what you have with a little bit of something that's healthy, not unhealthy.
Tanya Ruttley: Yes. Yep. Absolutely.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: So, yeah. And, and I think I just wanted people to understand this is really about, um, pressure and we've got to let this part of the pressure know, I mean, sorry, go because we are the creators of life, right?
Tanya Ruttley: Meaning I understand that we need a man, which is why I think they're just as important when we get into this whole mother, father thing. But anyway, we need the man. However, We carry that child.
Tanya Ruttley: So we've got to appreciate what our body does even after we have given birth. Because, go ahead.
Kim Fletcher: Because yeah that child has taken part of you. When you're carrying that child, that child takes your skin, youre your face, yourre your your color, yourre your That baby takes a lot from you.
Kim Fletcher: So
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah. Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: It's a mind thing, really, because people jumping out getting a snatched back body because they're watching what other people talking about.
Tanya Ruttley: It is.
Kim Fletcher: You got to get a snatch. No, baby, you better.
Tanya Ruttley: ah big And And the other piece I say, he's not going to keep a man.
Kim Fletcher: That's right.
Tanya Ruttley: It may help you get one, but is that the man you really want?
Kim Fletcher: I just said long relationships, no long time relationships.
Tanya Ruttley: You understand? Huh? Yes.
Kim Fletcher: I said that at the beginning.
Tanya Ruttley: Right.
Kim Fletcher: There is no long
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: time relationships are because people are getting all these enhancements for these relationships and after a minute that's not what they want they don't want mama you know yeah so at the i but just have to change them the way i think and look at look at other um look at other things for positivity not other people
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: They just wanted to play. It wasn't going to be long term. Yeah.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah, I'm with you.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: in in the way they you know do things because it'll cause you to do something that's not good for you in the long run.
Tanya Ruttley: Yep.
Tanya Ruttley: Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: Just because you want that quick. i say this I say this generation behind us like the popcorn generation, like a microwave popcorn. Everything has to be so fast.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah. Yeah.
Kim Fletcher: That's not how it works.
Tanya Ruttley: It isn't.
Kim Fletcher: Think about a seed. Think about a seed. You got to plant it, water it, let it grow. Your body is almost the same.
Tanya Ruttley: Mm-hmm.
Kim Fletcher: Same thing you do with a child. you You plant that seed.
Tanya Ruttley: Mm-hmm.
Kim Fletcher: That seed come out. Now you've got water it so it can grow.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah. So yeah, I wanted to touch on that this evening because I just thought that was, even though um you you know she's not like a favorite of mine, I just thought that was so insulting.
Tanya Ruttley: um And maybe the women can hear it and you know and understand that we we can't do this for these men because
Kim Fletcher: it is That's insulting.
Kim Fletcher: And I like you calling it.
Tanya Ruttley: it's it's not going to keep them.
Kim Fletcher: Save work.
Tanya Ruttley: And yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kim Fletcher: Save work.
Tanya Ruttley: and and And please, y'all, stop saying you ain't getting it for no man or no attention.
Kim Fletcher: Know it.
Tanya Ruttley: Let me say that. Stop saying that. Because we first have to acknowledge we like to be seen. No one wants to be completely ignored. You like compliments. There's nothing wrong with enjoying a compliment.
Tanya Ruttley: First, just be honest.
Tanya Ruttley: Take the honesty. Do the self-evaluation because I had to do mine. And get back to the basics of just the natural bodies. And the men will be all right.
Kim Fletcher: Yeah. And let me say this before we end that. Thank you, Latrice, for fulfilling your commitment because your husband was sick. You're trying to walk in the kingdom, take care your husband and still fulfill your commitment of outside things of your home. So thank you for coming on tonight.
Tanya Ruttley: Absolutely. And guess what? Him feeling better. He was able to walk up them stairs.
Kim Fletcher: That's it.
Tanya Ruttley: Look, he walked up the stairs and looked at me and rolled his eyes. I forgot what I was saying at the moment, but it was in the beginning.
Kim Fletcher: yeah
Tanya Ruttley: But I think it probably was something about. can't remember what it was, girl, I'm gonna go back and listen, but he looked at me and rolled them little eyes and went on up them stairs. So he is feeling better.
Kim Fletcher: Of something we were just saying?
Tanya Ruttley: When we first started, I can't remember what I said. Girl, I probably was talking about him. Who knows? I can't even remember what I...
Kim Fletcher: Okay.
Tanya Ruttley: Oh, when I was saying that he tried to say ain't have no booty. Girl, please, cut the crap.
Kim Fletcher: Yeah. okay Okay. He said, you know you got boobies. Because he's younger. He was looking at it when you got with him.
Tanya Ruttley: Girl, girl.
Kim Fletcher: Mm-hmm.
Tanya Ruttley: And he like big booties, but trying act like I, yeah, he tried to say that one time when was in Kentucky, he slid it out. was like, boy, stop playing now. That's one thing ain't never been told.
Kim Fletcher: and
Tanya Ruttley: Oh my goodness. But anyway, thank you guys for joining us today.
Kim Fletcher: Yeah. Yes. Thank you. Thank you.
Tanya Ruttley: Once again, i just, you know, wanted to have this because I really think we got to get back to, you i can't even say back to, I think we've got to get to loving ourselves, accepting us and others.
Kim Fletcher: And no judgment.
Tanya Ruttley: and
Kim Fletcher: No judgment.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah, no judgment, judgment, just understanding that we are the ones who's bringing life into this world and our bodies are going to take a sacrifice, but it's a beautiful sacrifice.
Kim Fletcher: Yes. Mm-hmm. yes
Tanya Ruttley: Love on those stretch marks, those hip stretches, those thick thighs, the little booty you got or the big booty. It doesn't matter.
Kim Fletcher: Okay.
Tanya Ruttley: Love on you.
Kim Fletcher: The apple. who
Tanya Ruttley: her
Kim Fletcher: I said the apple.
Tanya Ruttley: Yeah, love on you.
Kim Fletcher: What's that song? Apple bottom jeans.
Tanya Ruttley: Oh, ah what ah yeah.
Kim Fletcher: Boot with the fur.
Tanya Ruttley: the whole
Kim Fletcher: The whole club looking at her. important
Tanya Ruttley: but But you know, I want to end with this. I'll say this because we can get a man, whether we are petite, skinny, malnutritioned, just right, overweight, obese, can't get out the bed.
Kim Fletcher: Yep.
Tanya Ruttley: You ever seen 600 pounds? Stop playing. Love who you are.
Kim Fletcher: i mean Because because it's Genesis 2 and 18, I will make a helper to fit you just for you.
Kim Fletcher: So that means everyone who believes in the Lord, God, Jesus, he has a helper made to fit you.
Tanya Ruttley: There you go.
Kim Fletcher: Period.
Tanya Ruttley: And you don't have to do nothing extra but be you. And on that note, we will see you guys tomorrow.
Kim Fletcher: b Good night.
Tanya Ruttley: Thank you for joining. Kim Latrice out. Good night.
Kim Fletcher: Goodbye.
