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Episode 14: Snatched or Pressured? Women, BBLs & the Beauty Standard
78 Plays11 months ago
In this episode of From StartUp to TakeOver—Watch Us Work, we’re tackling a hot topic:
Why are so many women feeling the push toward BBLs and mommy makeovers?
Is it truly about self-love and confidence—or is society turning beauty into pressure? From social media influence to unrealistic expectations about post-baby bodies, we’re breaking down the conversation around body image, surgery trends, and what “snatched” really means today.
💬 Are women empowering themselves through these procedures—or being influenced by a beauty standard that’s nearly impossible to maintain?
Tune in for a real, honest discussion about body positivity, pressures, and the personal choices women face today.
Recommended
Transcript
Opening and Recent Activities
00:00:18
Tanya Ruttley
Hey, I'm just going to look at Oh, good.
00:01:08
Kim Fletcher
Hello, hello, hello.
00:01:10
Tanya Ruttley
All right. Hello, you guys.
00:01:11
Kim Fletcher
Welcome back.
00:01:13
Tanya Ruttley
Welcome back. Hi, Kim. How are you?
00:01:16
Kim Fletcher
Latrice. How are you doing today?
00:01:19
Tanya Ruttley
I'm okay. I just left the gym, honey. ain't had time to do nothing, but I'm good. i was like, I told my daughter, yeah, she was going to drive.
00:01:26
Kim Fletcher
good? Uh-huh.
00:01:29
Tanya Ruttley
Um, she went with me to the gym. So I was like, um, uh, you driving back home? Cause I got to hurry get back. Uh, my podcast. So she was looking like I'm tired.
00:01:37
Kim Fletcher
Okay, okay.
00:01:39
Tanya Ruttley
So I ended up driving back, but yeah, so I'm good. How was your day?
00:01:43
Kim Fletcher
and It was good. It was a good day. I got out today. So I got out for a little bit. It was good. Got some good fresh air. Yes.
00:01:51
Tanya Ruttley
oo Good. So you did some walking? Because I know your back was hurting.
00:01:55
Kim Fletcher
I did.
00:01:55
Tanya Ruttley
You did some walking? Oh, good.
00:01:56
Kim Fletcher
I did. I did. i was able to get in the car and out of the car, but I still had the back brace on, but I'm good.
00:02:03
Tanya Ruttley
But you're good. Okay.
00:02:05
Kim Fletcher
I am good, yeah. No spasms.
00:02:06
Tanya Ruttley
Well, good.
00:02:07
Kim Fletcher
I'm good.
00:02:08
Tanya Ruttley
So then, yeah, you're good.
Cosmetic Surgery Trends
00:02:12
Tanya Ruttley
All right, you guys. So you can see today our title um is Snatched or Pressured?
00:02:14
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:02:20
Tanya Ruttley
Women, the BBLs, and those big mummy makeovers. So Kim, I wanted to, this is why I wanted to touch this today.
00:02:30
Kim Fletcher
why
00:02:30
Tanya Ruttley
i saw something where um Cardi B, which I think she's out of pocket cause she's still married, but anyways, the guy she was dating seems he made um a comment about the the bad part of the BBL, right?
00:02:36
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:02:48
Tanya Ruttley
Outside of the funny shaping arrows of that nature um about how bad they smell.
00:02:48
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:02:56
Tanya Ruttley
So it it I had heard it before, and I will say the very first time I heard it, though, was maybe about three weeks ago.
00:02:57
Kim Fletcher
Hmm.
00:03:04
Tanya Ruttley
I saw it on another post. um A friend of mine who I'm pretty close with, she was saying that a woman posted and was talking about how bad it smelled and why she got rid of it.
00:03:07
Kim Fletcher
Thank you.
00:03:17
Tanya Ruttley
So it just made me think, why do us women go through Something like that, right? um The extreme stuff, the mommy makeover, the BBLs.
00:03:31
Tanya Ruttley
And I wanted to know, is that really about us or something more? Do you have any thoughts about it?
00:03:40
Kim Fletcher
Well, my thoughts are, i think people do things for a different reasons.
00:03:47
Tanya Ruttley
Mm-hmm.
00:03:48
Kim Fletcher
So maybe, you know, when people want to get cosmetic surgeries, it's for different reasons. It could be for them. It could be for them to get the attention of someone else.
00:04:05
Kim Fletcher
So it could be more than one reason. Me, myself, you know, I'm with God. This is what you gave me, these little apples or whatever. That's what I'm okay. But of the the people, you better say, baby, what?
00:04:15
Tanya Ruttley
She said the little apple, the little the little pencil erasers. That's what I would say about my mom.
00:04:22
Kim Fletcher
You know, I just feel like people enhance. We enhance with hair.
00:04:25
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:04:26
Kim Fletcher
We enhance with makeup.
00:04:27
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:04:29
Kim Fletcher
People enhance, you know, they enhance the breath and the blood. They enhance and people do it for
00:04:35
Tanya Ruttley
But I wonder if is is the BBLs and the mommy makers but makeovers because I will tell you, I once thought about it, right? So I wondered,
00:04:48
Tanya Ruttley
is it pressure? Pressure of acceptance. When I say that, a lot of people think it's, you're doing it for um attention.
00:04:53
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:04:59
Tanya Ruttley
You are. Any type of way you want to look at it, it's still going to come back to attention, whether it's attention for yourself to feel good. It's attention from men. It's attention from other women.
00:05:10
Tanya Ruttley
So I think it's like you, it's going to be various reasons, right? But attention definitely is in there.
00:05:16
Kim Fletcher
And then people, the some, not all people, but most people in the world now, um
00:05:27
Kim Fletcher
They kind of um get the raw deal. going to just give you an example. Like um it makes them want to do it. Some people, not all, when they come into this kind of thing, I've seen it on YouTube.
00:05:41
Kim Fletcher
they they were I think they were in Miami somewhere and they were trying to get into the club.
00:05:44
Tanya Ruttley
ah
00:05:45
Kim Fletcher
And because they were dark skinned and they were big, you know, kind of had a little weight on them, they couldn't get in the club. So they had to be, I guess, slim, light, long hair.
00:05:56
Tanya Ruttley
ah hey So in other words, they had me back in the ninety s the eighty s and the ninety s
00:05:57
Kim Fletcher
So, or they had, had well, i'm I'm sure they had BBLs.
00:06:04
Tanya Ruttley
Huh? In the eighties and the nineties?
00:06:05
Kim Fletcher
eat
00:06:06
Tanya Ruttley
Oh, okay.
00:06:07
Kim Fletcher
No, no. I'm saying now this was happening like a few days.
00:06:10
Tanya Ruttley
Oh, gotcha. No, no. what You said, I'm sure they had BBLs.
Experiences of Discrimination
00:06:13
Tanya Ruttley
Who is, who, who are you talking about when we say they?
00:06:14
Kim Fletcher
The people in the club, the ones that they were letting in there.
00:06:16
Tanya Ruttley
Oh, that was already let in. Gotcha.
00:06:18
Kim Fletcher
Right. I'm sure they were like the Instagram model type girls.
00:06:19
Tanya Ruttley
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:06:24
Kim Fletcher
And the ones that were trying to get in, they weren't allowed because they were darker skinned and they were heavyset.
00:06:30
Tanya Ruttley
Mm-hmm.
00:06:31
Kim Fletcher
So I feel like, uh, some of that could cause people, some, some people to want to go and get cosmetic surgeries to fit in, to feel like like I can get, yep.
00:06:39
Tanya Ruttley
yeah Right. Pressure.
00:06:43
Kim Fletcher
Pressure. I can get, let me do this and I can get him or I can get her.
00:06:44
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:06:47
Kim Fletcher
I mean, we will, I can get whoever.
00:06:50
Tanya Ruttley
Right. That's what was saying is it's really about they want to get snatched for themselves or is it really pressure?
00:06:52
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:06:54
Tanya Ruttley
Because so for myself, right, I'll i'll be vulnerable here. I have five children that I birthed, right?
00:06:59
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm. Right.
00:07:02
Tanya Ruttley
um Never had a C-section. Never really had a problem with like having a huge gut, um even though I had five children. However...
00:07:09
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:07:11
Tanya Ruttley
I think from seeing it over and over and over again, plus, you know, my weight had gotten up there too. But from seeing it over and over again, the people with the almost, not being funny, the they have the same body though.
00:07:28
Tanya Ruttley
that's that one That was the downside, right?
00:07:28
Kim Fletcher
Yeah. yeah
00:07:30
Tanya Ruttley
No matter how much weight I did gain, I still kept my shape.
00:07:31
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:07:33
Tanya Ruttley
But i found myself I found myself wanting to remove a piece of fat from the back, right? Like around the brush.
00:07:41
Kim Fletcher
addly
00:07:42
Tanya Ruttley
And it's not even that big, right?
00:07:43
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:07:44
Tanya Ruttley
I found myself wanting to remove that little piece, ah not get fake breasts, but lift my natural breasts.
00:07:45
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:07:51
Tanya Ruttley
I found out that was a thing. I didn't need to do anything with butt, honey, because it's just naturally there. i Let my husband tell her it ain't that big.
00:07:56
Kim Fletcher
Naturally.
00:07:57
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah, that's a lie.
00:07:58
Kim Fletcher
Naturally.
00:07:58
Tanya Ruttley
But yeah, he tried to...
00:07:59
Kim Fletcher
It's big, bro. Yeah.
00:08:00
Tanya Ruttley
He cut down like i don't have no booty.
00:08:01
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:08:02
Tanya Ruttley
But look, so I even, you know, sent the pictures in and the doctor told the lady that did my consult.
00:08:03
Kim Fletcher
Yeah, what?
00:08:09
Tanya Ruttley
Oh, he said, you need no BBL. I said, i wasn't trying to get a BBL.
00:08:12
Kim Fletcher
Because that's what he did.
00:08:12
Tanya Ruttley
That was never a part of it.
00:08:15
Kim Fletcher
He's so used to that.
00:08:15
Tanya Ruttley
But he immediately saw it. I'm like, yeah, she don't need one. I was like, no, I knew I have a butt.
00:08:21
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:08:21
Tanya Ruttley
But I did find myself. wanting, and here's another piece. husband is younger than me too. So I found myself wanting to tighten some stuff and I'm glad, I thank God I did not do it.
00:08:31
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:08:34
Tanya Ruttley
I didn't do any of it. Right. Um, but I did get caught up in the, Ooh, what if, what if I can go back in time?
00:08:41
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:08:41
Tanya Ruttley
Right. Um, but I feel it's not necessary. I had to get back to where I love me.
00:08:49
Kim Fletcher
That's right.
00:08:49
Tanya Ruttley
And I love me with the changes and the growth.
00:08:49
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:08:52
Tanya Ruttley
And the beautiful thing is I don't want to erase the fact that I birth five freaking children.
00:08:59
Kim Fletcher
You got to believe it.
00:09:00
Tanya Ruttley
I am a mother.
00:09:01
Kim Fletcher
um
00:09:01
Tanya Ruttley
And go ahead.
00:09:03
Kim Fletcher
go I feel like Holly Berry, like she said, people, it's a mind thing. If you retrain your mind, retrain your mind, drain you change your thinking.
00:09:09
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
00:09:15
Tanya Ruttley
yeah
00:09:15
Kim Fletcher
Holly Berry said her mother made her sleep in a bra every night to keep her breasts perky.
00:09:19
Tanya Ruttley
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:09:21
Kim Fletcher
She never had to go get anything because she did what it took to do it.
00:09:22
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:09:24
Tanya Ruttley
Right. That's how we did when we was younger.
00:09:26
Kim Fletcher
And I think, right.
00:09:26
Tanya Ruttley
Me my sister. Yeah, we so always slept in a bra.
00:09:28
Kim Fletcher
Yes, you keep them perky.
00:09:29
Tanya Ruttley
Yep.
00:09:31
Tanya Ruttley
Yep.
00:09:31
Kim Fletcher
And in because so much cosmetic and you see the immediate change,
Societal Pressures on Body Image
00:09:36
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:09:37
Kim Fletcher
people run to that.
00:09:38
Kim Fletcher
And no, you can take your care of your body because people are getting sick from this stuff.
00:09:42
Tanya Ruttley
Right. Yeah. Yeah. And I just thought it was so mean of him to, um, I don't care for her.
00:09:52
Tanya Ruttley
I'll say that for other reasons, Cardi B, Cardi B.
00:09:54
Kim Fletcher
Who? Who? Okay.
00:09:57
Tanya Ruttley
However, for him to get on there and, um,
00:09:57
Kim Fletcher
Okay.
00:10:01
Tanya Ruttley
really down her for her, that insecurity um and really just go into the, well, it stinks so bad. I don't know. I think sometimes men can be, and not sometimes men can be cruel.
00:10:12
Tanya Ruttley
And I just thought all the things that women do, For one, they look good. they you We do want to look at ourselves in the mirror with no clothes on. They go, okay, we we're human. So I get that, wanting to look at yourself and then and love what you see.
00:10:27
Tanya Ruttley
But we also want our man to enjoy it, right? So I think the pressures got to her because when you see her before and her after, extreme change, right?
00:10:38
Tanya Ruttley
And so she's done those things. But I just feel like maybe the conversation should be had women woman to woman. Women, we can start having these conversations to talk to each other and to have self-love.
00:10:51
Tanya Ruttley
it's It's not about we don't care what a man thinking, what a man see, because that's a lie. Right. But we've got to get them to understand natural bodies are Right.
00:11:02
Tanya Ruttley
There's nothing wrong with a natural body, whether that booty is little, it's in between, or it's humongous.
00:11:02
Kim Fletcher
yeah if It's crazy.
00:11:08
Kim Fletcher
That's right.
00:11:09
Tanya Ruttley
Stretch marks, titties may start, breasts may start to come down a little bit.
00:11:10
Kim Fletcher
That's right. And all. That's
00:11:14
Tanya Ruttley
We've had children, we've breastfed. So theyre these this is the circle of life.
00:11:16
Kim Fletcher
right.
00:11:19
Tanya Ruttley
We have got to also educate these men.
00:11:19
Kim Fletcher
That's right.
00:11:21
Tanya Ruttley
Now, if they want to go out there and get the false things, remember, I think there's a lot that comes with it. That's why, and that ain't the type of man I'm trying to have to leave my household anyway. But remember, saying I want men to do better in their selections.
00:11:31
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:11:34
Tanya Ruttley
That's one of them. Stop being so superficial. A lot of times we as women do go out and do these dangerous things because, like you said, even with something as simple as, which is so sad, can't get in a club.
00:11:37
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:11:48
Tanya Ruttley
You know what i mean?
00:11:48
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:11:49
Tanya Ruttley
The pressure behind being so judgmental of the outside of us women.
00:11:49
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:11:53
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm. And then when you go get these enhancements for the men and they do something like this, talk about you, it's it's not right.
00:12:01
Tanya Ruttley
Girl, it's not. It's horrible. And then when they talk about you, that's what they chase.
00:12:04
Kim Fletcher
I don't care.
00:12:06
Tanya Ruttley
You know, it's funny how they he's dogging her. And I think they said she came back and said something what most women say, try to go, not all, but most I've heard say something about his penis eye, right? tried to talk She tried to hit him back.
00:12:19
Tanya Ruttley
But no, absolutely.
00:12:19
Kim Fletcher
But she shouldn't have to do that.
00:12:22
Tanya Ruttley
She should not have. But I just find it so horrible. Horrible. Horrible. horrific that men claim they don't want this type of woman. That ain't what they looking for, but that's exactly what they on social media scrolling for.
00:12:38
Tanya Ruttley
And then as soon as they have an opportunity to get with the person who more than likely may have some type of self-esteem issue because we all go through it.
00:12:38
Kim Fletcher
Yeah. Yeah.
00:12:46
Tanya Ruttley
No, none of us are perfect, right? May have some self-esteem issue, which can dive into
00:12:49
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:12:53
Tanya Ruttley
us taking on something like this and then kind of like hitting her at her lowest. You think she don't smell it? So it's kind of like, why not be a man and have a conversation with her privately, which they probably shouldn't, they shouldn't have been together anyway because she's still married and so is husband, but they doing their thing. And I just thought how, how petty of him to do it openly to talk about that versus maybe sitting down with his brothers and saying, yo, man, maybe we need to talk to these women, let them know they don't need to be having these BBLs and stuff like that because, you know, because he can see that something's off.
00:13:29
Tanya Ruttley
But instead he want to get on social social media and blast her for something they prefer.
00:13:32
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:13:34
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:13:34
Kim Fletcher
Yes. That they prefer. That women are getting some of them, like I say, some people are getting it for themselves, for their own personal whatever, for themselves.
00:13:38
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:13:48
Tanya Ruttley
So but when you say the person, Oh, go ahead.
00:13:51
Kim Fletcher
yeah yeah Yeah.
00:13:51
Tanya Ruttley
You got to finish your statement. Go ahead.
00:13:52
Kim Fletcher
They're getting this for themselves. But some of them are getting them for the fame and the fortune and the men. And you doing these things, if you look, the longevity of relationships are not lasting.
00:14:06
Tanya Ruttley
No matter what your body look like or their face look like. So, so let me, let me say this. So when you say, um, they're doing it for themselves. Okay.
00:14:17
Kim Fletcher
All
00:14:20
Tanya Ruttley
Here's why i know women like to say that that oh I'm not doing it for a man. Here's why also threw in they also doing it for other women, meaning attention, right?
00:14:30
Kim Fletcher
right.
00:14:30
Tanya Ruttley
But even when they say they're doing it for themselves, that's the only one, even though I hear them say it, I find it hard to believe that's what it's really about.
00:14:42
Tanya Ruttley
Here's why. If they do it for themselves and get no attention, right? thats I mean, there's there's crickets. No one says anything.
00:14:49
Kim Fletcher
but
00:14:50
Tanya Ruttley
How do you, how would they feel?
00:14:50
Kim Fletcher
and but i don't i don't know think i don't think they will I don't think they are doing it for attention. Maybe some are percentage, but I think they some of them are doing it because they want to make sure they're in the running.
00:15:04
Tanya Ruttley
That's attention though.
00:15:04
Kim Fletcher
They look just as good as the next person.
00:15:05
Tanya Ruttley
How is that not? But if you're in the running, that's attention. Okay. Let me ask you this. If you're in the running, what are you running for?
00:15:11
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm. I mean, to stay, get your husband, to get your husband or your significant other or whoever you're looking for.
00:15:15
Tanya Ruttley
The what now? Say it one more time for me.
00:15:20
Tanya Ruttley
ah well So is it for, isn't that attention? Because you have to get their attention first. Because if you're doing it to your body to say, I want to, I'm trying to get my husband or I'm trying, because you're still, you're trying to be seen. That's attention.
00:15:36
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:15:36
Tanya Ruttley
You see what I'm saying? it kind it It's going along with the lines when they try to say, I'm not doing this for no man. I just call bullshit because...
00:15:44
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:15:45
Tanya Ruttley
You're doing it for attention. That's why say even it's for yourself to look in the mirror and that's attention. But let me say this. I don't believe, ah again, 100% that it's not for a man to notice or other women to compliment you. Because again, if they receive not one compliment, because they're saying it's just for them, how do you think they would feel?
00:16:15
Tanya Ruttley
They're going unseen. That's why I call
Evolution of Beauty Standards
00:16:19
Tanya Ruttley
BS on it. And I think it's pressure because, because you want,
00:16:21
Kim Fletcher
ah I really don't know where it come from because i'm I'm trying to figure out when did it start and how did it start because I'm i'm i'm an older person.
00:16:30
Tanya Ruttley
I don't know either. I don't, ah well, let me say this.
00:16:32
Kim Fletcher
I'm an older person in the ninety
00:16:33
Tanya Ruttley
Did it start with the Kardashians trying to make their body look like,
00:16:35
Kim Fletcher
No, it it may have, because in the ninety if you go back, yeah, if you go back and just look at all the videos, because we had videos in the 90s. So if you go back and look at all the videos and all the celebrities, they were small, they had small breasts, they wore clothes, they didn't have any big butts.
00:16:48
Tanya Ruttley
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:16:52
Kim Fletcher
And they were, they were, people wanted them. You know what i'm saying? They were wanted. They were wanted. They were looked at. They were sexy.
00:17:05
Tanya Ruttley
And, but you'd still had, i think that was the select, um um unfortunately, i I do believe that was more so trying to get the, so back then they had this European look, right?
00:17:05
Kim Fletcher
So where did this come from?
00:17:16
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:17:16
Tanya Ruttley
But you had black women, i don't care how small we are, we we're shapely.
00:17:21
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:17:22
Tanya Ruttley
So at that time, when you go back to like the 80s and the 90s and the videos, those girls were slim, but they still had a shape.
00:17:29
Kim Fletcher
That's what I'm saying.
00:17:29
Tanya Ruttley
So what I think happened was they eventually wanted the other women, yeah, to have that look.
00:17:30
Kim Fletcher
they And it was natural.
00:17:37
Tanya Ruttley
That's what I think happened. And it got out of hand. Now the timeline for, I don't, I really don't know.
00:17:40
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:17:42
Tanya Ruttley
I think we all looked up and it was there. right? It was like, in our faces.
00:17:46
Kim Fletcher
Yeah, it was there.
00:17:49
Tanya Ruttley
um And so that's why I think it just wasn't about being snatched.
00:17:49
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:17:52
Tanya Ruttley
I really think it's the pressure of the world. um And I think we've got to first acknowledge we do care how others see us. We care whether it's a man or a woman, because, you know, if I see a woman who's dressed nice, shaped nice, be like, oh, gone girl.
00:18:11
Tanya Ruttley
I have no problem giving that sister, whomever, a compliment.
00:18:11
Kim Fletcher
Yeah. add and had
00:18:15
Tanya Ruttley
Now, So when people say they're not doing it for other people, I just think we first have to acknowledge it is an issue that we care about what others think. Right.
00:18:28
Tanya Ruttley
Because if someone said, oh, you look old, you know, versus, oh, you look young.
00:18:32
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:18:32
Tanya Ruttley
You still appreciate that. And it's OK to appreciate recognition. So I think first we got to realize why we do it and acknowledge that it's truth.
Appreciating Natural Bodies
00:18:44
Kim Fletcher
right
00:18:44
Tanya Ruttley
Then maybe we can get away from the pressure. But the men have got to be honest and not just have these women going out here feeling like they're inefficient, going out here getting stuff that they claim they really don't want. and And even if they want it temporarily, they're still wrong because they're pushing us.
00:19:04
Tanya Ruttley
into this, this danger zone of going in and getting all these tucks, tucks and not even paying attention to y'all wouldn't even be on earth if it wasn't for our bodies going through these changes.
00:19:06
Kim Fletcher
just aside
00:19:15
Tanya Ruttley
You know saying? It's like, where's the appreciation of life? Because our bodies go through the changes because we brought you here.
00:19:20
Kim Fletcher
and God right and God can he he have and he is he can stop the aging
00:19:33
Kim Fletcher
you i mean you are still aged but he you can he will still keep you looking flawless but you will still be aging. and But people have done so much to their bodies, you can't tell the natural
00:19:48
Kim Fletcher
from the real. I mean, from the fake.
00:19:53
Tanya Ruttley
Hmm. Well, I wanted people to at me say oho she got her butt down, but I didn't.
00:19:58
Kim Fletcher
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
00:19:58
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:20:00
Kim Fletcher
Right there, if they look at your butt, they will say you got your butt done. Because it is a big butt, but that you've been having do.
00:20:08
Tanya Ruttley
Wait a minute, Rebecca.
00:20:09
Kim Fletcher
You been had that bad, Dora.
00:20:11
Tanya Ruttley
it
00:20:12
Kim Fletcher
You've had that bad, ever.
00:20:12
Tanya Ruttley
Look, and you know what's so crazy? I don't even think I got it until like 19. nineteen
00:20:20
Kim Fletcher
Those babies.
00:20:22
Tanya Ruttley
eight 18, 19, before my baby, like 18, like right out of high school, cause I wasn't doing sports.
00:20:23
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm. But you were little, yeah.
00:20:27
Tanya Ruttley
I think soon as I stopped doing sports, which was my junior year, I just decided, I tried to do the, was just like, I don't want to do no sports. So like my junior year, I stopped. So I want to say my senior year, turned 18 at the beginning of my senior year.
00:20:38
Tanya Ruttley
I want to say I started noticing, right?
00:20:38
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:20:42
Tanya Ruttley
um Because I was still up and down. was the so I was like a seven, eight, maybe a nine. But
00:20:42
Kim Fletcher
Cause it was getting rubbed.
00:20:50
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:20:51
Tanya Ruttley
Wait minute, don't do that. So then, so then, don't be telling my business.
00:20:52
Kim Fletcher
and
00:20:55
Kim Fletcher
it
00:20:56
Tanya Ruttley
So then, so then, you know, but it was still, I was still almost straight up and down minus, you know, just a little pop. And, and even up until I had my second child, when I had my second baby, I still hadn't gained, you know, no weight or anything like that majorly.
00:21:03
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:21:12
Tanya Ruttley
So after that though, yeah, it's, yeah, my butt got big, you know.
00:21:20
Kim Fletcher
And it was natural.
00:21:22
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah, natural.
00:21:22
Kim Fletcher
And you stayed in the gym to keep it together?
00:21:24
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah, mm-hmm.
00:21:27
Tanya Ruttley
Right, right, right.
00:21:29
Kim Fletcher
and
00:21:29
Tanya Ruttley
You know, and I do the gym thing because, you know, understanding that this is a body that is on loan, right? And I have to take care of, you know, my body.
Fitness and Aging Gracefully
00:21:39
Tanya Ruttley
And I want to be that grandmother.
00:21:41
Tanya Ruttley
always say great grandmother. Child, look, I'm about to be 49. I don't got no grandchildren yet. I always say great grandmother in the gym with her great grandkids. But they're like, that's your great grandmother. My grandbaby's going to be like, yeah.
00:21:50
Kim Fletcher
Yeah. can
00:21:53
Tanya Ruttley
That's what I say I want to be.
00:21:54
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:21:55
Tanya Ruttley
um So I want, but I, you what now?
00:21:56
Kim Fletcher
I never had to be in the gym. So I never had to be in the gym. So when my grandkids friends see me or even strangers in the street, they think those are my kids. Cause look like they're mud. I look young. Like I'm their mother.
00:22:11
Kim Fletcher
And I say I'm their grandmother and they think I'm young.
00:22:16
Tanya Ruttley
ah hey
00:22:16
Kim Fletcher
And I'd be like, Nope.
00:22:18
Tanya Ruttley
yeah
00:22:19
Kim Fletcher
Nope.
00:22:20
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah, i' i not I'm talking about, well, I'm more so like the body, um the keeping up of your body, right? You would, let me tell you, you know, I look at like you, I be like, let me tell you, I used tell people I got a cousin, baby.
00:22:27
Kim Fletcher
same thing
00:22:33
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:22:33
Tanya Ruttley
She gonna have some kids like she have, when I say zero, stomach on flat, flat. Wasn't that a rap song?
00:22:39
Kim Fletcher
yeah um yeah what yeah but baby i'll be trying to stay out the donuts and now latrice but it give me a paint i know i can't keep waiting
00:22:40
Tanya Ruttley
Stomach on flat, flat.
00:22:45
Tanya Ruttley
I got you, but you still slim. You know what i mean? And I think that's also genetic. Hmm?
00:22:51
Kim Fletcher
ah Yeah, it's genetic. That's why I say it could be genetics as well, because I try to gain weight.
00:22:53
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:56
Kim Fletcher
I i take um the the stuff from the, I used to buy the stuff from the GNN store to take it overnight to get the muscles like the men just to get weight. But maybe none of that worked.
00:23:05
Tanya Ruttley
Uh...
00:23:07
Kim Fletcher
And I just, and now I appreciate it.
00:23:07
Tanya Ruttley
No, because you would have to be in the gym. So all you would have needed to do was lift some weights, right? Because, and it it it would have toned girl.
00:23:15
Kim Fletcher
Right.
00:23:19
Tanya Ruttley
Even now, well, i know because, you know you know what i mean?
00:23:21
Kim Fletcher
yeah but Yeah, but if I could, I understand what you said.
00:23:22
Tanya Ruttley
tom Yeah. Girl, baby, because see you already teeny tiny, baby, and you put them weights, they be like, wait, wait a minute.
00:23:24
Kim Fletcher
Yeah. I know it now. I know it. I know it. I really know it. I know it.
00:23:32
Tanya Ruttley
Ha, ha.
00:23:32
Kim Fletcher
I be trying not even let nobody to see me, baby. what Let me chill.
00:23:35
Tanya Ruttley
Girl, they'll be like, Grandma, who?
00:23:38
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:23:38
Tanya Ruttley
What?
00:23:39
Kim Fletcher
and I don't, for real, like, don't
00:23:39
Tanya Ruttley
Because you already got that young face. Girl, you get the weights in.
00:23:43
Kim Fletcher
I really don't. I don't be trying to do nothing. like
00:23:45
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:23:46
Kim Fletcher
If I could exercise though, I said, I'll get these girls to run for their money and let you see.
00:23:48
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:23:50
Kim Fletcher
Maybe nothing bal but this hair.
00:23:51
Tanya Ruttley
Baby. Yes. Yeah.
00:23:54
Kim Fletcher
Nothing but this hair would I want to buy it.
00:23:55
Tanya Ruttley
one
00:23:56
Kim Fletcher
That's it. and no so
00:23:57
Tanya Ruttley
one huh
00:23:59
Kim Fletcher
If you can get it, you can do it.
00:23:59
Tanya Ruttley
yeah yeah
00:24:01
Kim Fletcher
You can do it. You're going change your mind.
00:24:03
Tanya Ruttley
They do.
00:24:03
Kim Fletcher
Yes.
00:24:04
Tanya Ruttley
They do. And I think we just got to accept ourselves and understand that we can work on it. It's not about, least for me, it's not necessarily about going back to how I used to be.
00:24:10
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:24:15
Tanya Ruttley
I've given life to five beautiful, badass, just kidding, kind of, sort of,
00:24:17
Kim Fletcher
Yes. Yes.
00:24:22
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:24:22
Tanya Ruttley
children you know and my body have went up down up down and I'm now more appreciative of the sacrifice I made with my body and whoever don't like it don't look don't look yeah
00:24:23
Kim Fletcher
Yeah.
00:24:31
Kim Fletcher
man
00:24:37
Kim Fletcher
Don't look. I thank God for my body because he gave me this. it could I could have been missing some parts and every all kind of stuff, but no.
00:24:45
Tanya Ruttley
yeah
00:24:48
Kim Fletcher
And then I took care. i'm not yeah I maintained what he gave me
00:24:54
Tanya Ruttley
yeah yeah
00:24:55
Kim Fletcher
Even up and down because that's your body's up and down. I've lost weight, been so skinny, but still was healthy. I don't know how that was, but up and down, up and down.
00:25:02
Tanya Ruttley
yeah
00:25:05
Kim Fletcher
It's like you have to have a mindset. If I had someone to tell me these things when I was younger to him, lift weights. Lift weights, do this, do that.
00:25:15
Tanya Ruttley
yeah
00:25:17
Kim Fletcher
you don't You won't ever have to go and get any enhancement because you're doing it naturally. If I had someone to tell me that, then I probably would have done that, but I didn't have anyone to tell me that. You you understand what I'm saying?
00:25:27
Tanya Ruttley
Right. Right.
00:25:28
Kim Fletcher
so i taking care right
00:25:28
Tanya Ruttley
but Right. Me either.
00:25:31
Kim Fletcher
So I'm taking care of my body the the kind of way I know how to learn as I go.
00:25:35
Tanya Ruttley
ah ha
00:25:37
Kim Fletcher
So now I know I can tell the next generation.
00:25:37
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:25:42
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah. Yeah.
00:25:43
Kim Fletcher
I can help them along.
00:25:45
Tanya Ruttley
Absolutely.
00:25:45
Kim Fletcher
Be like, girl, you're gorgeous. You don't need anything. Enhance what you have with a little bit of something that's healthy, not unhealthy.
00:25:51
Tanya Ruttley
Yes. Yep. Absolutely.
00:25:54
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:25:55
Tanya Ruttley
So, yeah. And, and I think I just wanted people to understand this is really about, um, pressure and we've got to let this part of the pressure know, I mean, sorry, go because we are the creators of life, right?
00:26:08
Tanya Ruttley
Meaning I understand that we need a man, which is why I think they're just as important when we get into this whole mother, father thing. But anyway, we need the man. However, We carry that child.
00:26:20
Tanya Ruttley
So we've got to appreciate what our body does even after we have given birth. Because, go ahead.
00:26:29
Kim Fletcher
Because yeah that child has taken part of you. When you're carrying that child, that child takes your skin, youre your face, yourre your your color, yourre your That baby takes a lot from you.
00:26:45
Kim Fletcher
So
00:26:46
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah. Yeah.
00:26:48
Kim Fletcher
It's a mind thing, really, because people jumping out getting a snatched back body because they're watching what other people talking about.
00:26:50
Tanya Ruttley
It is.
00:26:53
Kim Fletcher
You got to get a snatch. No, baby, you better.
00:26:56
Tanya Ruttley
ah big And And the other piece I say, he's not going to keep a man.
00:26:57
Kim Fletcher
That's right.
00:27:00
Tanya Ruttley
It may help you get one, but is that the man you really want?
00:27:05
Kim Fletcher
I just said long relationships, no long time relationships.
00:27:05
Tanya Ruttley
You understand? Huh? Yes.
00:27:08
Kim Fletcher
I said that at the beginning.
00:27:09
Tanya Ruttley
Right.
00:27:10
Kim Fletcher
There is no long
00:27:10
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:27:12
Kim Fletcher
time relationships are because people are getting all these enhancements for these relationships and after a minute that's not what they want they don't want mama you know yeah so at the i but just have to change them the way i think and look at look at other um look at other things for positivity not other people
00:27:17
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:27:23
Tanya Ruttley
They just wanted to play. It wasn't going to be long term. Yeah.
00:27:30
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah, I'm with you.
00:27:39
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah.
00:27:42
Kim Fletcher
in in the way they you know do things because it'll cause you to do something that's not good for you in the long run.
00:27:42
Tanya Ruttley
Yep.
00:27:49
Tanya Ruttley
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:51
Kim Fletcher
Just because you want that quick. i say this I say this generation behind us like the popcorn generation, like a microwave popcorn. Everything has to be so fast.
00:28:04
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah. Yeah.
00:28:05
Kim Fletcher
That's not how it works.
00:28:07
Tanya Ruttley
It isn't.
00:28:07
Kim Fletcher
Think about a seed. Think about a seed. You got to plant it, water it, let it grow. Your body is almost the same.
00:28:12
Tanya Ruttley
Mm-hmm.
00:28:14
Kim Fletcher
Same thing you do with a child. you You plant that seed.
00:28:16
Tanya Ruttley
Mm-hmm.
00:28:17
Kim Fletcher
That seed come out. Now you've got water it so it can grow.
00:28:20
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah. So yeah, I wanted to touch on that this evening because I just thought that was, even though um you you know she's not like a favorite of mine, I just thought that was so insulting.
00:28:33
Tanya Ruttley
um And maybe the women can hear it and you know and understand that we we can't do this for these men because
00:28:34
Kim Fletcher
it is That's insulting.
00:28:38
Kim Fletcher
And I like you calling it.
00:28:45
Tanya Ruttley
it's it's not going to keep them.
00:28:46
Kim Fletcher
Save work.
00:28:47
Tanya Ruttley
And yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:28:47
Kim Fletcher
Save work.
00:28:52
Tanya Ruttley
and and And please, y'all, stop saying you ain't getting it for no man or no attention.
00:28:52
Kim Fletcher
Know it.
00:28:56
Tanya Ruttley
Let me say that. Stop saying that. Because we first have to acknowledge we like to be seen. No one wants to be completely ignored. You like compliments. There's nothing wrong with enjoying a compliment.
00:29:12
Tanya Ruttley
First, just be honest.
00:29:16
Tanya Ruttley
Take the honesty. Do the self-evaluation because I had to do mine. And get back to the basics of just the natural bodies. And the men will be all right.
00:29:29
Kim Fletcher
Yeah. And let me say this before we end that. Thank you, Latrice, for fulfilling your commitment because your husband was sick. You're trying to walk in the kingdom, take care your husband and still fulfill your commitment of outside things of your home. So thank you for coming on tonight.
00:29:46
Tanya Ruttley
Absolutely. And guess what? Him feeling better. He was able to walk up them stairs.
00:29:48
Kim Fletcher
That's it.
00:29:49
Tanya Ruttley
Look, he walked up the stairs and looked at me and rolled his eyes. I forgot what I was saying at the moment, but it was in the beginning.
00:29:54
Kim Fletcher
yeah
00:29:55
Tanya Ruttley
But I think it probably was something about. can't remember what it was, girl, I'm gonna go back and listen, but he looked at me and rolled them little eyes and went on up them stairs. So he is feeling better.
00:30:04
Kim Fletcher
Of something we were just saying?
00:30:06
Tanya Ruttley
When we first started, I can't remember what I said. Girl, I probably was talking about him. Who knows? I can't even remember what I...
00:30:13
Kim Fletcher
Okay.
00:30:14
Tanya Ruttley
Oh, when I was saying that he tried to say ain't have no booty. Girl, please, cut the crap.
00:30:18
Kim Fletcher
Yeah. okay Okay. He said, you know you got boobies. Because he's younger. He was looking at it when you got with him.
00:30:26
Tanya Ruttley
Girl, girl.
00:30:27
Kim Fletcher
Mm-hmm.
00:30:28
Tanya Ruttley
And he like big booties, but trying act like I, yeah, he tried to say that one time when was in Kentucky, he slid it out. was like, boy, stop playing now. That's one thing ain't never been told.
00:30:37
Kim Fletcher
and
00:30:40
Tanya Ruttley
Oh my goodness. But anyway, thank you guys for joining us today.
00:30:41
Kim Fletcher
Yeah. Yes. Thank you. Thank you.
00:30:45
Tanya Ruttley
Once again, i just, you know, wanted to have this because I really think we got to get back to, you i can't even say back to, I think we've got to get to loving ourselves, accepting us and others.
00:30:55
Kim Fletcher
And no judgment.
00:30:56
Tanya Ruttley
and
00:30:56
Kim Fletcher
No judgment.
00:30:57
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah, no judgment, judgment, just understanding that we are the ones who's bringing life into this world and our bodies are going to take a sacrifice, but it's a beautiful sacrifice.
00:30:58
Kim Fletcher
Yes. Mm-hmm. yes
00:31:09
Tanya Ruttley
Love on those stretch marks, those hip stretches, those thick thighs, the little booty you got or the big booty. It doesn't matter.
00:31:16
Kim Fletcher
Okay.
00:31:17
Tanya Ruttley
Love on you.
00:31:17
Kim Fletcher
The apple. who
00:31:19
Tanya Ruttley
her
00:31:20
Kim Fletcher
I said the apple.
00:31:22
Tanya Ruttley
Yeah, love on you.
00:31:24
Kim Fletcher
What's that song? Apple bottom jeans.
00:31:27
Tanya Ruttley
Oh, ah what ah yeah.
00:31:27
Kim Fletcher
Boot with the fur.
00:31:30
Tanya Ruttley
the whole
00:31:32
Kim Fletcher
The whole club looking at her. important
00:31:36
Tanya Ruttley
but But you know, I want to end with this. I'll say this because we can get a man, whether we are petite, skinny, malnutritioned, just right, overweight, obese, can't get out the bed.
00:31:45
Kim Fletcher
Yep.
00:31:50
Tanya Ruttley
You ever seen 600 pounds? Stop playing. Love who you are.
00:31:53
Kim Fletcher
i mean Because because it's Genesis 2 and 18, I will make a helper to fit you just for you.
00:32:04
Kim Fletcher
So that means everyone who believes in the Lord, God, Jesus, he has a helper made to fit you.
00:32:04
Tanya Ruttley
There you go.
00:32:14
Kim Fletcher
Period.
00:32:14
Tanya Ruttley
And you don't have to do nothing extra but be you. And on that note, we will see you guys tomorrow.
00:32:18
Kim Fletcher
b Good night.
00:32:21
Tanya Ruttley
Thank you for joining. Kim Latrice out. Good night.
00:32:27
Kim Fletcher
Goodbye.