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STOP Making Excuses for Other People Not Treating You Right
181 Plays1 year ago
Once upon a time Kels had a friend that she gave her power to. She let this friend guilt her, intimidate her, and belittle her for living her life in a way that she loved. Eventually, that friendship had to end and while it was extremely hard, Kels learned so much about what a real friend is. This episode is all about those lessons.
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Transcript
Introduction and Life Updates
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to Awake and Bake, an educational, high vibrational, mystical, spiritual, pot, I'm sorry, podcast, from one girl, no joint, and a journey to awaken what's inside all of us. In the words of the wise was Khalifa, let's roll something, get the day started. Hello guys, it's me, Kel, still no joint, still big baby in me. Cannot wait to finally give birth. Um, well, I mean,
00:00:28
Speaker
parts of me can wait. My vagina in particular isn't super stoked about it, but it'll be fine. I am a divine feminine being. My body knows what it's doing and I will let it. That's an affirmation from my birth coach. Welcome back to another episode.
Reflecting on Past Friendships
00:00:45
Speaker
I'm pretty excited to talk about what I'm going to talk about today. It's been kind of coming up. Sorry, my nose is a little stuffy,
00:00:54
Speaker
It's been kind of coming up for me a lot in the sense of I've been thinking a lot about a past relationship of mine, a past friendship. And it's just been kind of on my heart lately. A big part of relationships ending is that you never really stop thinking about them. And certain things in life will like bring that up. Like I'm about to have a baby. This is a person that I was
00:01:22
Speaker
best friends with for a long time. So it's like I'm thinking about it in the sense of like, how strange it is that I'm going through this transition through this huge life change. And this person is not a part of it. And that's okay. I'm not like, it's for the best that this relationship didn't work out. It ended when it did. I found a lot of clarity, a lot of freedom throughout this friendship breakup.
Recognizing Toxicity in Friendships
00:01:48
Speaker
But it's just like you still do have like you mourn
00:01:52
Speaker
the losses still, you know, it is someone that I loved, I still send love to. I hope this person is doing great. But the reason I actually like felt called to talk about it, though, is because another person who was friends with the same person reached out to me very recently, and they had a very similar
00:02:12
Speaker
Situation a very similar realization of the toxicity of the relationship and there's just that it was not Serving them that it wasn't good for them. And so they also had a falling out and When she reached out to me to tell me about it She was just like, you know, I just feel so alone and like I know you've been through this and it felt I'm gonna be honest. It felt so good in a way to know like this was just such an affirmation that I had made the right choice that it wasn't that
00:02:41
Speaker
necessarily me, it was the relationship that was not going to work. And I think sometimes I was I know I was feeling guilt in ways of like, maybe I should have tried harder. Maybe I should have reached out again. Maybe I should have blah, blah, blah. First of all, there's no sense in living life with maybes and should haves because you can't go back in time. And second of all, when you when something like this happened, it was such a clear
00:03:12
Speaker
severance of the friendship that I just knew it was one of those times where the universe was protecting me. It was making the hard choice for me that I was afraid to make for probably a year, if not a little bit more, that we kind of were just growing apart but neither one of us wanted to accept it.
00:03:32
Speaker
And what I found was a common theme was that I was making a lot of excuses for the way I was being treated. And a lot of the excuses that I was making were like,
00:03:45
Speaker
that I was less than or I I'm doing too much. I'm being too much. And so this it's making this person feel this way. So a little bit of background. So I'm not like, super vaguely talking. And so this person was we're gonna call them
00:04:05
Speaker
Angela, ooh, I don't know where that came from. So this person, Angela and I were best friends through most of high school, through our college experiences. We lived together for a year. Um, they moved out to being Albany with me for a year and we were together. And then I went, they moved back home. I went to Europe for a summer. And that was what they told me was what they felt was what I started when I changed.
00:04:32
Speaker
So first of all, if someone tells you that you've changed and they mean it in a negative way, that's a big red flag. I ignored that at the time, obviously, but I've learned now through growing through this experience that whenever someone is pointing out or using that phrase, you've changed and trying to guilt you with it.
00:04:56
Speaker
Um, especially if you feel like a better version of yourself, like if you're feeling really good and they try to use that to guilt you, like that is such a red flag. And my trip to Europe was an extremely freeing, life-changing experience.
Solo Travel and Self-Discovery
00:05:14
Speaker
I was alone. Um, for a lot of it, I was nannying my niece. Um, so I was staying with my brother and my sister-in-law and her.
00:05:22
Speaker
But I spent the evenings and weekends kind of on my own, doing my own thing, traveling, exploring by myself. I would take myself all over, we stayed in Oxford. So all over Oxford, I would go to different places for dinner. I'd go and get drinks at different pubs. I just, I spent so much time alone. I took a solo trip up to Scotland and I found friends there. I ended up going to France alone, to Paris for four days.
00:05:51
Speaker
I stayed with my friend's aunt there who did show me around a little bit and I got to spend some time with her and her friends. But for the most part, I was alone. I was solo traveling through Europe and then I met up with Johnny down in Croatia and we had a great time. But then I was back in London for three nights alone and I didn't waste a second of it. I didn't spare an expense. That trip was seven weeks of
00:06:20
Speaker
If I want it, I'm doing it, and I did. It was amazing. When I came back, I really continued to harness that feeling, that power of I get to choose my life. I'm going to do things. I'm going to live. This person, Angela, is someone who lived their life much more cautiously, which there's nothing wrong with that. I cannot stress this enough. There's nothing wrong with
00:06:47
Speaker
If that's who you are, that's how you live your life. I want everyone to live authentically. But there is a time when that holds you back. There is a time where like sometimes risks are meant to be taken. Sometimes you're meant to just live to experience this crazy life and like
00:07:06
Speaker
spend that $100 on something that sure might, you could logically say like is quote, unquote, quote, unquote, throwing it away. Like I took myself to the West End, which is like London's Broadway and took myself to go see the, um, to see waitress. And I just remember that person being like, Oh, you should really spend or save that money. Because when I was coming back, my plan was to, I was starting nursing school in like a week. Um,
00:07:33
Speaker
But I didn't. I was like, I'm sorry. But I still was apologizing. I still found that I was apologizing for these things. Or they would be like, I would post on my story a couple nights in a row of me out at different pubs having a drink. And they'd be like, are you sure that's safe? Or everything I was doing was being questioned. And at the time, I wasn't thinking much of it. I was so distracted.
00:08:03
Speaker
completely involved in what was happening around me. And I even was doing this thing of making excuses like, oh, it's just because they love me. They just want me to be safe. They just want me to, you know, have my finances ready. Like, oh, how sweet it is. But the thing is, friends aren't meant to be your mom. Friends are meant to be there to be next to you while you fuck up and like laugh your way through it and be like, all right, hey, we figured this out now.
00:08:31
Speaker
what a friend is for, at least for me. That's what I need my friends for. I have a mom who, mom's hard. She does her job as a mom. She's doing that. I don't need that from any outer source. So then I came home, I started nursing school, and we had kind of drifted apart a little bit. I was really busy. Again, my trip to Europe really
00:08:55
Speaker
Inspired a lot of confidence in me and this like deep love of like just going for it It really changed me in that way, which for me felt incredible. I was going out with people To just do things like like hikes. I was just doing things all the time This is actually the same time that Cole and I reconnected After our meetup a year prior before he got sent to Hawaii and deployed This is when he was back in New Hampshire and he came to visit me
00:09:25
Speaker
when I was living in Saratoga and we started our relationship and all of this was happening. All of these good things were coming to me. The law of attraction, this was my first experience with it without knowing what to call it. I was just living my life as happily as I could and as for myself as I could, and yet I had this person who's supposed to be my best friend constantly telling me,
00:09:51
Speaker
Oh, you're doing it wrong. You shouldn't do this. You shouldn't do that. That's selfish.
The Nature of One-Sided Friendships
00:09:56
Speaker
And I would, again, would make excuses for it. And I would be like, man, maybe I am being selfish. Maybe I am thinking about myself too much. Guys, I don't know. This might be a hard pill to swallow for some people, especially if you're the kind of person who's used to guilting your friends. Someone being selfish isn't necessarily bad. Someone living their life for themselves is
00:10:19
Speaker
an amazing, beautiful thing. And it's a hard thing. Sometimes it was hard to choose myself, especially as someone who I think a lot of people would have described me at that time or prior to that time as a people pleaser. I was just doing what other people wanted. I wanted to make other people happy, especially this friend. I would do so much to make them happy when they weren't really doing the same. And our ideas of fun were very, very different.
00:10:49
Speaker
I wanted to go and explore and live life and meet people. This person had very bad social anxiety. This person wanted to just stay in, watch movies, and like, that's fine. Again, I'm not knocking that sort of life. I'm just saying that it isn't compatible with mine.
00:11:10
Speaker
Or at least it wasn't at the time there was a time where we worked very well together and like that was fun for me but I had this sort of Renaissance of who I was and Now that I had found it. I wasn't gonna give it up so For the next like year. Yeah, we started we continue we were still best friends. We still were very close We had we were living, you know, two and a half hours apart from each other so we didn't see each other super often but
00:11:39
Speaker
What that distance kind of gave me was clarity of how this relationship was working. It was a lot of unspoken expectations met with disappointment from her when I was unable to fulfill those expectations. Never put expectations on your friends, guys. Friendship isn't meant to be perfect.
00:12:01
Speaker
friendship isn't meant to be something that holds you like you shouldn't be putting friends on pedestal like friendship is supposed to be raw. It's supposed to be vulnerable. It's supposed to be symbiotic and
00:12:16
Speaker
powerful in the sense of building each other up, helping each other. But you should never be expecting your friends to just do things or just know things or even to put themselves aside for you sometimes. I mean, obviously, you call your best friend and you're having an extremely hard time. Yeah, you'd hope that they can talk you through it. And yes, that was not the case. I'm talking about this was things like,
00:12:46
Speaker
just little expectations that like I remember I'm not like I love getting gifts from like coal but I hate when other people give me gifts like I feel so uncomfortable I mean obviously I love it I love getting stuff but I feel so uncomfortable because I know that one of my love languages
00:13:07
Speaker
is not giving. I'm not good at giving gifts. I don't send birthday cards. I don't send cards. I don't do that stuff. I might be in a store and see something that makes me think of you on a random Tuesday in November and give it to you the next time I see you. But as far as a big special birthday thing, that's never going to be me. I'm never going to get you a Christmas present. All of my friends, I make it very apparent. I'm very open and honest now about
00:13:35
Speaker
I might not text you back for a while. I'm just a very aloof person. I'm flaky. I can admit these things about myself. So this person got me a very sweet birthday present. It was beautiful. It was cool. It meant a lot to me. But again, I am not
00:13:57
Speaker
I'm not that. And this is someone they constantly every year would always give me like these great elaborate birthday presents, which I appreciated so much. But I also felt like they were specifically a way looking back, they were specifically a way to make me feel bad.
00:14:16
Speaker
when their birthday came around that I'm never going to match that I'm never going to be there like and they wouldn't accept that because then they you know they would make comments or they would it would be a joke but like I knew that they were kind of serious like
00:14:30
Speaker
It was again, something that I was making excuses for that like, Oh, they're just better than me at that. But like they really weren't listening to me. I didn't want that. I didn't want them to put especially money. Like money was a very hard topic with this person. Um, understandable. It's an awkward topic with anyone, but they would often like be like, Oh, well I spent this much on it. Like I spent this much on you. Like, wow, isn't that great? Like,
00:15:00
Speaker
putting monetary value on our friendship or putting values like that on our friendship that just isn't me, like it doesn't, does not work for me. So fast forward again, it's like May, I am about to graduate. Yes, COVID had just started. We didn't really know much about it. So my plan was for July after I graduated to have a small get together and like celebrate that I had finally,
00:15:28
Speaker
graduated nursing school for those of you who don't know I had gone to nursing school right at a high school and failed in my last semester so like it was a really big huge deal for me to finish this and complete it and have done so at the top of my class like I was so proud of it that I wanted to have a small
00:15:48
Speaker
COVID friendly, outdoor, social distanced party with people that I had so many people that I loved that I did it for that I wanted to show like how grateful I was for their constant support throughout not only the first time I was in nursing school, but into my failure of it into the long hard depression that followed.
00:16:10
Speaker
Um, and then to being the person that I was then standing there with my nursing license, like it was a huge, huge deal for me. So I asked this person to come in May.
00:16:22
Speaker
the party was going to be on the 4th of July and they were like, okay, yeah. And then I was like, okay, and like trying to again, I was constantly jumping through hoops trying to appease this person as my friend. I wanted them to be as comfortable as possible. So I was like, you know, bring a friend so that you have someone because I'm going to be busy. I'm inviting, you know,
00:16:45
Speaker
Not a ton of people, but again, like COVID restricted amount. Like it was, but it was a fair amount. Um, I can't lie. Uh, but it was outside. So it was fine. I'm so worried about like someone canceling me for having a COVID party in three years ago. Um, I'm not really, I know you guys wouldn't do that to me, but anyways, so I told them to bring a friend and they, their response was, well, I'm not going to change. I can't ask someone to change their plans. Like I changed mine.
00:17:17
Speaker
Again, this was a huge red flag that I didn't really, it bothered me, but I didn't really see it. I was just like, oh, okay. I didn't know you had changed plans. I'm so sorry. I thought a month out was enough time to have been your plan. And again, looking back, it was such a power move on their part to make me feel like I was putting them out. And I wasn't, I was trying
00:17:37
Speaker
And like,
00:17:47
Speaker
to have joy and experience celebration of myself, which is not something that I do super often. I'm not trying to sound all like, but I'm a pretty humble person, I think, when it comes to actually
00:18:05
Speaker
celebrating myself and my accomplishments. Obviously, I joke around and say that I'm God, but that's because I'm an Aquarius. I am basically creator of the universe. I'm the creator of my universe. I again made an excuse for this person that they had a really big plan and it's so cool that they canceled that. I talked myself into this word salad of like, okay, they're doing this huge thing for me. That's so awesome.
00:18:34
Speaker
It wasn't, they weren't really, like, I don't know, it wasn't that big a thing for me to ask who's supposed to be my best friend to come to this thing. And they could have said no if their plan was like, so like, you know, like it wasn't that deep. So I'm so sorry, this story is like so long, but I hope you're getting the point that I'm just pointing out all the different red flags through our relationship so that you can see them when you're in a relationship like this.
00:19:02
Speaker
But so come down to the party. She came. I was surrounded by people that I had
00:19:13
Speaker
I just had never felt love like that. It was so amazing to have my family there. Cole was able to come out for a day. He drove four hours to spend one night with me, which she got mad at us for having sex on that one night. I'm sorry, I just don't get that. I would be cheering my friend on for having sex. I would literally be there fist-pumping to the beat, but I digress.
00:19:39
Speaker
I had my family there. My brother came up. My best friend John was there. She was there. John's parents were there. So many people that had been in my life for the past, I'm going to say this, like five years, four years where I was in nursing school the first time. And again, that hard, hard depression period, like all of my friends from all different jobs that I had worked during that period.
00:20:08
Speaker
came to show their love and how proud they were of me and to support me. And it was just the most amazing feeling to have that love and to be like, wow, this is so cool. I'm so proud of myself. I'm so proud of what I've accomplished. I'm so proud of these friendships that I have that these people are here for me to celebrate me, to have fun with me. And the person who's supposed to be my best friend spent the entire time she was there
00:20:38
Speaker
Sitting up in the room that I had let her use in our house Because she was too anxious now again. I'm not I'm not trying to belittle anxiety at all you guys know I'm an anxious bitch When someone's anxious I don't know you can kind of tell I again I'd been friends with this person for a very very long time, and I knew that it wasn't
00:21:06
Speaker
just anxiety. That was the reason that they were up there. It was a, there was a big piece of it that was just, they didn't want to be a part of like they, I hate to, I hate to put it on someone else that they're quote unquote, like jealous. But I just think she was
00:21:25
Speaker
overwhelmed mostly by the fact that she wasn't the center of my world at this part. I was bouncing around introducing people and experiencing this party, experiencing this love.
00:21:40
Speaker
And I wasn't constantly by her side holding her hand, which is what I really was in that relationship. I was the one who was more outgoing. So I would be the one to kind of lower myself. I'm talking energetically, lower myself to where I could just sit with her.
00:21:57
Speaker
and we could talk and we could do our thing and this was not like that this was a party for me celebrating me and i had a lot of people show up to do just that and my best friend was sitting up in her room moping about it and then when i finally went up to talk to her when i really like you know i was like hey what's going on like you haven't been down in a while she really uh
00:22:23
Speaker
really made me feel horrible, horrible for having had sex the night before with Cole, for giving other people attention, for not being there for her, but all like wrapped in this thing of anxiety, this film of anxiety that she was using. And again, I'm not trying to discount her anxiety, but it really felt like that was kind of like
00:22:51
Speaker
being used as a guilt glue to hold all of the things that I had done wrong together. All of this was my fault.
00:22:59
Speaker
looking back again, I was like, I really was honest about that there's going to be people there, that that's how it was going to be, that she didn't have to come.
Ending a Friendship: Lessons Learned
00:23:09
Speaker
All of that, it was all her choice. One of the things that really was upsetting the most was after the following month, Cole had asked me to move, well, he had already asked me at the party, but to move out to New Hampshire with him the following month.
00:23:24
Speaker
when I told my best friend that this super cool, beautiful thing was going to happen in my life and this man that I'm pretty sure is like my soulmate wants me to come and live with him. Her response was that I'm leaving
00:23:39
Speaker
I'm leaving her again for a man because I had, after I failed nursing school, the first time I had moved out to Albany to be with my ex. Um, and I just remember like her saying that and like getting a dagger in my heart. And this is one of the first times that I didn't make an excuse for, for her. I was like, that was just truly, that was selfish. That's a selfish choice to say that to a friend. That's a selfish thing. That's not okay. That's not how you.
00:24:09
Speaker
respond to a friend that's not how you treat a friend like you know, I, my life choices can't be made around you can't make life choices based on your friends. And you should never ever be taking your friend's life so personally like we
00:24:26
Speaker
friendship, any relationship, friendships or romantic relationships, you still need to be yourself. And in the reciprocating, you have to let the other person do that and be excited for them. And it can be hard to have a friend move away. I have friends literally all over the world. Now, like, I, I've seen my friends leave. And it's so hard. And sometimes you grow apart from them.
00:24:52
Speaker
But you have to have a level of understanding that they're living their life, they're happy, and also that you can reach out at any time. You can call your friends if they're really your friends. You cannot talk for years.
00:25:10
Speaker
and then come back and have a conversation and catch up, and it's beautiful and so much fun, and that's how it should be. For me, that's how it works. I can't have friends where I have to constantly be texting, because we all know I'm a terrible Dexter. I'm going to wrap this up, but basically the grand finale of our relationship
00:25:33
Speaker
was a month after I'd moved to New Hampshire. I was throwing a birthday party for a good friend of mine. My friend, Angela, was supposed to come out and hang out with me. And the date of the party had to get pushed back a day, which was the day that Angela was arriving because this friend that I was throwing it for really wanted a certain person to come. And they could only come on one day. And it was a surprise party. So I didn't have a lot to work with.
00:26:01
Speaker
I was planning, I was throwing this party for this person.
00:26:05
Speaker
Um, and so I told Angela, I was like, I'm so sorry. Um, we have to do this thing on Sunday. Um, but it'll be great. You get to meet all like my new friends and all the people that like I've gotten to experience and stuff. And basically that was the end. Uh, she kind of cut me off there. She said some mean things about, um, like that I don't take into account her anxiety that this is supposed to be our time together. And we're supposed to be doing things, which.
00:26:33
Speaker
I can get, but another red flag in a friendship is possessiveness like that, I think.
00:26:42
Speaker
I, it was not like a big party. This was like maybe seven people. It was not anything like that. And these were people that really were important to me. They still are a big part of my life. They were friends of Cole's that I had met and it was people from his boat. It was a really special thing and it was going to be really fun. And it still was really fun because I did that. Instead, she didn't end up coming out and we never
00:27:09
Speaker
We never spoke again. Um, I mean, we had exchanged like a couple of texts and I basically ended it with, um, like my side of it or whatever with just that, like, like I'm really sorry. Um, but this doesn't work for me. This doesn't serve me. I'm, I'm not trying, you can't take offense to things that are, you can't constantly take offense to things that aren't meant to be.
00:27:32
Speaker
offensive. Obviously sometimes things happen, but she was literally taking my life personally and that wasn't going to work. I didn't know how to function in a friendship like that. And that's because you can't function in a friendship like that. You cannot make your friends feel guilty for just trying to be happy. Even if they're making
00:27:54
Speaker
not great choices, which that's not the case at the time. I had started my spiritual journey. I was living my best life as I still am. I'm still that person, just even better now. I've only evolved since the end of this relationship. I guess what I'm trying to say is to stop fucking making excuses for other people not treating you right. There's no excuse
00:28:20
Speaker
for friends who don't treat you right. People who don't try to match where you are or even meet you halfway, they aren't meant for you. You should never be lowering yourself. You should never be making yourself smaller or less than to make someone who is supposed to be a friend feel good. And I felt like that's what I was constantly having to do. I was constantly having to put myself in a box and only let pieces of it out that she enjoyed.
00:28:48
Speaker
I wasn't being my authentic self in that friendship. And that's on me. That was something that I had to learn. And I am so grateful that I've learned it because I can say that since then, since that experience, I have been more honest in my friendships about my needs, what they can expect from me, my poor, my faults, the things that I'm not good at. Oh, there's a monarch.
00:29:16
Speaker
ADHD kicking in. I've been more honest, I've been better about reaching out good and bad times, even when shit's hitting the fan, like reaching out and just letting a friend or two if I have to know like, hey, I'm not doing good, just you know. I've been better about making friendships that are solid and very symbiotic instead of codependent, which I think is a big distinction.
Reflections on Growth and Healthy Relationships
00:29:45
Speaker
a symbiotic relationship you're giving back and forth in a way that works for both of you. You're benefiting each other. A codependent relationship, you are just kind of constantly sucking from the other. No one's really getting benefited. You're not moving forward, if anything.
00:30:04
Speaker
you're staying right where you are and a friendship should really push you to grow and to evolve. Your friends should inspire you. They should encourage you. They should, like I said, like if you're making a bad choice, like I'm not talking about like an unsafe choice. I'm just saying like if you're gonna make a mistake, a friend will let you make that mistake and help you clean up the mess. They're not gonna judge you and they're not gonna make you feel like an idiot for being human. And so yeah, just
00:30:35
Speaker
Just be careful with friendships. Be careful with letting people in and letting them have power over you. And especially letting them make you question yourself. Because if you're someone like me who, even when you're finding yourself, you're going to try different things. You have to. If you don't know who you exactly are, then how can a friend question that? You're there to learn together, to grow together.
00:31:06
Speaker
Um, and don't, don't ever make anyone make you feel less than guys, you're not. Um, and yeah, I don't know. My life has just been a lot better since this happened, since this friendship breakup. I mean, it's hard. Like I said, they had a friend who I guess they just recently had a falling out with that reached out to me and.
00:31:25
Speaker
In a way, it made me feel so good that I wasn't alone because I never really had someone to talk to who knew this friend who could really understand. When they texted me a week ago, I was like, oh my God, I feel so good to know that I'm not the only one in that.
00:31:50
Speaker
that I'm not alone. Sometimes it just feels so good to know you're not alone. And then it felt good to be able to be there for that person. When I didn't have someone that I could lean on during that time, I just kind of had to figure it out and navigate it. And it was the loss of my best friend. That was hard. That wasn't easy.
00:32:07
Speaker
But I did it and I got through it and I'm like, like I said, I'm better because of it. And that's kind of what I told this mutual friend when they reached out was just like, you know, it's going to feel weird at times, you're going to feel guilty at times. But at the end of the day, all you can do is protect yourself, protect your peace, protect your authentic self, protect who you truly are and allow that to grow and flourish. And if people
00:32:36
Speaker
If there ends up not being room in your garden for certain people, then sometimes you have to just send them away with love and know that there are no hard feelings. I have no resentment for this friend. I hope none of this came off as bitchy or anything like that because that was the last thing I was trying to do. I was just trying to share the whole relationship
00:32:59
Speaker
and how there were certain moments that I could have known or I should have known. And now looking back, I do know were signs that, okay, this is not meant to be forever. And I think that you find a lot of solace and beauty in the fact that friendships aren't meant to be forever. Some relationships aren't meant to be forever. Sometimes they're there.
00:33:20
Speaker
for a long time or a short time. And they're meant to show you things about yourself, show you things about what you need from others, how you communicate with others. And that is so beautiful. That is so valuable. And when a friendship ends, it is like a death. It's like I mourned this friendship. I still do, at times, grieve over it. But I did it to protect myself, to allow myself to grow into this person that I am now, to be this level of happy.
00:33:50
Speaker
that I am now and it was so worth it. Yeah, guys, don't let people hold you back and don't make excuses when they do. There is no excuse for holding someone back. That's not a real friend. And stay high. Bye.