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we're all in a cult and don't know it
58 Plays5 months ago
warning: im having horrible pmdd symptoms so forgive me if im harsh
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Transcript
Introduction and Personal Triggers
00:00:00
awakenbake
Welcome or welcome back to Awakened Bake where we get high vibes and talk about the universe. I'm your host, Dani, and you guys, you're in a cult and you don't even realize it. Maybe not you, but someone you know. I just feel like too many motherfucking people are in a cult and they don't even know. That's what I want to talk about today. Yes, today's episode is a bit Controversial, I guess is the only way to say it. um Full disclosure, I do have PMDD and it's flaring up right now and it's absolutely winning. So I'm sorry if I'm extra sassy. I am truly doing my best right now to be level headed and calm. And also, number two, I'm a bit fucking triggered.
00:00:38
awakenbake
yes, because of the PMDD, but also because of the state of the world. And truthfully, the shitty fucking opinions that I see online, especially from women, and I'm sorry to say that, like and I don't mean that in like a way where I'm anti-women, red pill, like no, no, no, I am pro-women, I love women, I prefer women in this world, sorry men, no hate, but I expect better from women and I expect more from them because we have an actual understanding of like the differences that it takes to be a woman, especially if you are a woman of color. But i'm I'm mostly just talking to the white bitches right now, honestly.
00:01:13
awakenbake
There is actually a ton of specifics that I want to talk about, so I feel like we should just get into it.
Critique of Religion and Spirituality
00:01:19
awakenbake
I am going to be honest with y'all. I'm smoking during this episode. Like, I'm going to be actively taking hits just because I'm not really feeling good. It's not even like just mentally. It's like physically as well. If you have PMDD, raise your hand. Hey, chat. Chat. Raise your hand, chat. Drop a uterus in the comments, chat. So I'm smoking this rainbow belt. um That's the strain. It's from high 90s. It's a little hybrid. I'm also drinking mud water. And if you ever like, I wonder what that tastes like. It literally tastes like mud, but it doesn't taste dirty, if that makes sense.
00:01:52
awakenbake
It's actually like more water-like though, so mud water is a great description. They really nailed it with the marketing there. Okay, let's jump the fuck into it. So first, I think we need to fucking stop with this organized religion or organiz organized spiritual bullshit. You can gather together and do inner work and have your practices and all that, but the current systems that we have in place, that are offering this kind of stuff. They're very othering. They're super strict. They're very preachy and they take away more than anything the ability for you to think for yourself. And that is my biggest issue. I remember literally being a child and just, I don't know, it's the Libra in me. I don't know if it's just
00:02:32
awakenbake
my personality, but I just want everybody to always be fair. It's definitely the Libra in me. It's like that justice energy. And I was in a religion class and the teacher was saying that if you die before you're baptized, that you literally go to hell. I said, what the fuck? I didn't say the fuck, but in my head I was like, what the fuck? So I raised my hand and I said to the teacher, OK, well, because I'm just trying to think extreme situations. I don't want any type of misunderstanding. Right. And I'm a kid. So spare me the bullshit of, oh, you didn't have to take it to that extreme. I was literally in second grade. I asked the teacher, hey, what about a baby in in another country where Christianity is not that main religion? What if a baby dies before they had the chance to grow up and learn about Christianity? And she was like, well, not everybody gets to go to heaven. That's just how it is. And I was like, um I'm so hurt.
00:03:20
awakenbake
That was when I really started questioning religion. That and also, not to be like dark, but I had a really hard time as a little kid at home. And I remember I went to a Catholic school, but like not my whole childhood, but when I was like. you know, like preschool, kindergarten, first grade, second, third, fourth, fifth, went to a Catholic school, had to go to confession and all that. And truthfully, I started questioning it actually a little bit earlier than second grade, because I was having such a hard time at home. And they always talked about if you pray to God, like he will answer your prayers, he'll talk to you, he'll help you and like he'll fix it for you. And so when I'm a little kid constantly praying to God, hey, can you like
00:04:00
awakenbake
fix my home life. Can you make it so that I'm safe and not scared and not crying all the time and have an anxiety attack in my room, even though I didn't know that that's what was happening. I just didn't know what was going on in my room by myself and why life was really fucking hard. But I would ask God all the time. And truthfully, like I felt like God forgot about me and just didn't love me. Maybe I was bad. I didn't know it was wrong, but it made me like create this, like not resentment for God, but literally resentment for myself. So then as a little kid, I was like, okay, fuck, I will try to be perfect.
00:04:33
awakenbake
And by trying to do that, I realized I was working so, so, so hard doing everything that I thought was the right thing to do. And my home life was not getting better. And this was something I had. I didn't know at the time I was a kid, but that's all stuff that's very much out of my control. What goes on in my home life to a little child, that has nothing to fucking do with me, especially when I'm really doing my best in school, at home, with my siblings, with my sports, with literally anything a kid can do. Mind you, I'm just a fucking child. And then eventually, I started to get, yeah, a little bit resentful toward this Christian-like God that I was taught existed because I was doing everything right. I was getting perfect grades. I was always making sure my conscience was clear. like the
Religious Upbringing and Personal Conflict
00:05:15
awakenbake
Honestly, going to confession was hard for me because I tried so hard to do everything right that when we had to say something wrong that we did. um And this happened in second grade because you don't start, where I went to school, you don't go to confession until second grade because once you're seven, then you're old enough to do some fucked up shit. But when you're six, they're like, nah, you have nothing nothing to confess. But once you're in ah second grade, you have to go to confession. And I would straight up say during confession, I told a lie. And what was that lie? It was the lie that I was telling right then because I did not lie because I was a good kid.
00:05:44
awakenbake
And it just created like a lot of confusion for me. I think if I wouldn't have gone to a Catholic school, but maybe Christianity would have been introduced to me separately where I wasn't surrounded by it in class, in school every single day, being graded on religion, um having it forced down my throat, having also to like perform that way like every day and show up like that. like I think just the way that it was put on me, it just made it this kind of really, really big scary thing and this really, really important thing. So when I didn't think I was good at it because I felt like God hated me because I was having such a hard time at home. And guys, people who were like, Oh, like God didn't forget about you. Like, Oh, that's so sad. Okay. I get that. Like, cause I told somebody that when I was like working at a restaurant in New York, I was talking to one of my coworkers about it.
00:06:30
awakenbake
Yeah, side note, he said that Catholics weren't Christian. And can all of my Catholics ah please drop a Catholic hand wave? I don't know what I'm saying in the chat because I'm not even Catholic anymore, but Catholics are Christian. Christians aren't all Catholic, but like Catholicism is a form of Christianity. I hate that I'm like kind of preaching this like right now, but I literally went to a Catholic school for the whole beginning of my education. So Like I kind of think I know what I'm talking about, but at the same time, I do think that organized religion is bullshit. So, you know, so is life, duality. Anyways, guys, what was I even like talking about? Oh, I just think that if it was explained to me separately, like where maybe I went to a normal public school earlier and, you know, a life where my grandfather was not the one who baptized me and my father wasn't yelling ah about religion at me as a way to make me like hate myself and think that everything I did was wrong. Like maybe if it was like, hey,
00:07:24
awakenbake
Sometimes we go to church. You can read the Bible if you want to. Maybe it would have been a really useful, beautiful tool, but that's not the way it was presented. I got a crash course deep dive right away at the ripe age of kindergarten, okay, bitch? So it didn't go well for me. It made me feel very othered. It made me feel like I was doing something really bad because bad stuff was happening to me, and even though I was trying so hard to be good. And I was someone who's a free thinker. I also think for myself and religion stops you from doing that in many fucking ways. That was a big issue for me growing up as well because I was a free thinker. There was a lot of stuff that the church wasn't OK with that I was like, I don't see a problem. It seems fun. It's funny. It's fun. No one's getting hurt kind of thing. Danny, what are you referring to? Literally, I just had gay friends like God forbid.
00:08:11
awakenbake
Like I'm not even gay, but me having gay friends caused such an issue within like the Christian people in my family. OK, I'm talking about my I'm talking about my dad. Let's jump to that section real quick. So my dad, um believe it or not, is actually well, I guess he I guess he is homophobic because of like the things that he has said that are offensive, but he like has gay friends and people in his life. He doesn't actually have a problem with being gay. He just hates me. And so he used religion in the Bible to just make me feel bad about myself. So I had a lot of friends who were gay. So then he would just make a point to bring up like, oh, well, doesn't say anything about that being okay in the Bible. So, but you think that's okay, but you surround yourself with that. You surround yourself with that. I was like, maybe I do surround myself with it, but like, I don't understand what the problem is.
00:08:58
awakenbake
or he would talk about how like the woman was supposed to be like more of like a helper to the man cause he thought I was doing too much. He thought like my dreams were too big. He didn't really believe in me the way that I believe in myself. um And luckily my mom believed in me always. So like, that's great. But my dad straight up was like, you're not going to be successful. Just don't try like just stay here. marry someone or get a job like working for the city like a woman is supposed to do you're not supposed to be doing a lot and he would just always use the bible as ways to argue with me about the type of person that i was how i presented myself the way i looked he hated the way i looked actually like this is not going to be an episode where i just shit on my dad but he really hated the way i looked growing up which i hated the way i looked too motherfucker i was so anorexic with the lowest self esteem so like what do you think that did for me what we just both hated me like that was not fun
00:09:46
awakenbake
Dear God, my whole point is that I was a free fucking thinker and that bothered a lot of people that had to do with the church. Also, um your cult like another example of just like not thinking for yourself. Did we all see that fucking documentary? and ah The one with Mother God. And that bitch was drinking colloidal silver. Bitch, if your cult leader is telling you to drink that silver shit, Like it's not helping you deepen your own connection to source power or god like that's just like the craziest shit because this isn't just in christianity where this happens people will follow their fucking
Warnings Against Blind Spiritual Followings
00:10:16
awakenbake
spiritual leader cult leader or whatever you want to call it to the ends of the fucking earth literally pass that because they're like oh yeah we're all going to party together in the afterlife and like bitch you might but what if you don't
00:10:28
awakenbake
The fucking Twin Flame. Oh, my God. That documentary where they were basically making people get sex changes, I was like, y'all, this cannot be good for the trans community like this is so they were like they were but brainwashing their own members of their group, of their cult, basically ah telling them like, no, you're actually a man. And they were basically using like terms that are real terms and twisting them. And that's why it can be dangerous and confusing, honestly. And it was just it was so fucked up. It was so crazy. Like this does not just happen in religion or but like I know I was talking about Christianity because that's all I know because that's my experience. But it happens with all types of spirituality. When it when we get too organized and like start having people that we think are above us or in charge of us or no better than us, it can be so fucking dangerous.
00:11:16
awakenbake
And not just when it comes to thinking for yourself, but when it comes to just like educating yourself, like religion telling you not to have sex before marriage or that like sexual activity, including like sexual, like pleasure, masturbating, you know what I mean? Saying that that is a sin literally only harms your understanding of your own pleasure and your autonomy. Like that's not safe for you. That honestly prepares you and kind of grooms you to be able to be sexually abused in a partnership later. And it mostly targets women. Women are the ones mostly told and not to be sexual, not to self pleasure, not to have sex out of wedlock. But like when a man does it, like it doesn't matter. And maybe technically it matters, but societal wise, like I don't know what I'm trying to say, guys, no one is going to treat them different, but a bitch will be condemned.
00:12:03
awakenbake
And maybe my dad is not the only one who used to do this, but um I'm sure other religious people will kind of do this thing where, like my father did, he would use the Bible to make me feel bad about certain things if they weren't mentioned in the Bible. So when it came to like feminist ideas, mostly, or like those kind of thoughts, he would often say like, well, that's just not in the Bible. like And it's like, okay, that is literally just like the dumbest response you could have said. like i Pugs aren't in the Bible, but I saw one today, bitch. Like truly the word feminism. Like he was like, that's not a real thing. Like that's not even in the Bible. Cause I had a shirt that was a feminist shirt and it said like has hashtag feminists. And then like on the front, it said the future is female.
00:12:46
awakenbake
Okay, okay, we're going to move on because this episode, why am I like treating this like a therapy session to vent about my dad? I promise that was not my intention. It literally just started happening. I'm not even like sad or pressed about him right now. What? It must be the pen that I've been hitting that rainbow belt. Oh, my God. Also, you guys, we have to talk about how there is a direct pipeline from that new age spirituality to alt right ideology, because sometimes it's obvious, but sometimes it creeps the fuck up on you. You think you're just learning about divine feminism, and all of a sudden you think you're just learning about slow living, and then all of a sudden you think you're just learning about like homesteading, and then all of a sudden you're a dutiful wife to her husband who listens to what he says and doesn't think much of her own in a woman's places at home. like You gotta be careful, bitch.
00:13:29
awakenbake
Kind of going off of that, actually, I saw this really, really good TikTok that has me thinking like, OK, bitch, you need to fucking check yourself. And I am here to admit that I was fucking wrong. So let's kind of go back a little bit. I used to watch a content creator named Lior Alexandra. She's still a content creator. I just do not watch her. um I don't align with her as a person whatsoever. But while I'm grateful to have, you know, she exposed me still to spirituality and a bunch of topics that are useful to me today. And she really kind of got me like got the ball rolling for me, I guess. um I have had to also realize and start deconstructing over the past few years a lot of the beliefs that she kind of taught me because they are problematic as a bitch.
00:14:11
awakenbake
One prime example is starseeds. I literally talk about starseeds all the time. If you're listening right now, there's an old episode on here on Awaken Bake where we talk about the different types of starseeds and like aliens and stuff. Please don't watch it. And I'm trying to figure out or listen to it, I guess, but I'm trying to figure out how to delete it. um I've just switched what platforms I use so many times that I'm having a hard time getting it off of Apple and Spotify and stuff like that. Like it's it's just like not I'll delete it on my account, but then doesn't take it off of the platform. So I don't know. I have to figure that out. But yeah, I used to talk a lot about star seeds, um aliens. I literally was out here talking about, I'm a Pleiadian, I'm a Pleiadian. Now listen, I'm still really into this. like I'm still into the idea of aliens and like as a concept, like that you know there's other galaxies where humans came from. That I fully fucking believe, but we really do have to be careful. like Where are we getting ah our information from? What details and where they're stemming from? um Because,
00:15:10
awakenbake
Some of it is flawed as fuck. I've been doing a little bit of research and a lot of it is flawed. I literally just posted some shit about this yesterday on my private story just to be schooled on it this morning. I had to school myself real quick because I saw TikTok and I said, wait a minute, wait a minute. I am not trying to be a white supremacist, but sometimes white supremacy sneaks up on you and you really got to check yourself. So thank God I realized that so I could correct. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, basically the Starseed lore, much like the Bible in my opinion, um attempts to explain the meaning of our life and our purpose here on Earth and the purpose of like beyond and the universe and creation and all of that. However, it's rooted in a lot of racism and ableism and other dangerous ideas and I had no fucking clue. Truth be told, apparently,
00:15:57
awakenbake
It has a little bit to do with, like, white supremacy in terms of there's, I guess, a star seed group called the Arians. Yeah, didn't realize that. That should have been a dead giveaway. And I have seen this one bitch. I'm sure you guys all have, too. She's like a spiritual girly on social media and she's that white bitch with dreads. Hey, hey, white people, don't do that. Your hair, first of all, it's not dreaded. It's matted. That's gross. It also stinks, like white people. But moving on, yeah, so she's that one bitch and she like sings and stuff. And she was talking about star seeds and the aliens, but then she started talking about like how they made the pyramids. And I'm like, well, no, like that's not true at all. Like aliens didn't make the pyramids, like humans did. Like didn't like Egyptians make the pyramids and i didn't even like slaves also make pyramids. Like am I, I might be confused. I'm really, really bad at history you guys, but i I'm quite sure I learned that humans
00:16:49
awakenbake
made the pyramids and they were not aliens. And also, I'm quite sure that it was brown people, like people of color who made the pyramids. So again, it kind of takes away from like the work and the quality and the capabilities and like everything that they went through. And then like she was talking about how she like cured, I don't know if it was cancer or a liver disease or pancreas or whatever with her mind. And you definitely can cure illnesses with your mind, 100%. But the way that she's explaining it, no. Not only that, but I guess like it goes back to like during the time of like Nazi Germany, um the whole Aryan thing, or sorry, not Aryan, the um alien starseed thing, well and also Aryan because, you know, racist.
00:17:34
awakenbake
But during that whole time is when the starseed lore fucking happened. It was like during then and basically the whole thing about it is the way it was explained to me is that starseeds are basically people who are born on earth, sent to earth to help raise the collective consciousness. So like you basically just try to be a good person essentially. But I guess if you dig a little bit deeper, there is some some I don't know history or I don't know what to call it. Lore I just keep saying because I'm chronically online. Basically the whole lore and the whole tea is that these aliens were of white complexion, blue eyes, and they were superior. Like they're supposed to be like very much how they said like, oh, the superior race when they were talking about the Aryan race or whatever. Yeah, that's what they're talking about with aliens. So I'm like, I'm not trying to be part of that bullshit. Absolutely not.
00:18:21
awakenbake
And while it might be fucking disappointing that I really thought it was cool that I was a starseed or an alien. Now, look, I care more about not being a white supremacist than I do about being an alien. And also,
Adapting Beliefs and Independent Thinking
00:18:33
awakenbake
it's not all aliens. I think it's just the starseed concept. But that being said, I looked into it um a bit on TikTok as well to see like what, you know, if people were even talking about it. And there's a whole side of TikTok and it's called like starseed black people. So. maybe it is real and like maybe star seeds are a thing and can be good but i think when i go to learn about it from now on i will only be learning about it from black people um just to be extra sure that i'm not partaking in some bullshit also i'm kind of just bringing this up because
00:19:05
awakenbake
I feel like what holds a lot of people back from progress, like true progress, is their pride. If you have lived X amount of years believing a certain thing or teaching a certain thing and then it suddenly changes, I feel like for a lot of people, they just get really defensive and upset about that. But it's like, number one, intelligent people adapt to new info. Like they don't resist it because they're smart and they're like, oh shit, this is correct. Like let me adjust and move accordingly. You're dumb as fuck when you try to deny it and ignore it and pretend it's not there. Yeah. And then also, I believe, you know, number two, it's not ever really about you. So like stop taking this so fucking personally, like no one's blaming you for believing something that thousands of other people, millions probably of other people have also believed because we didn't know. But now that you know better, you can do better. and
00:19:51
awakenbake
I just feel like when it comes to the Bible, though, people are a little bit more rigid in their beliefs because it's the Bible. You know what I mean? It's not like an online thing where you can read about articles and websites. It is the Bible, like Beyonce, the Bible, like Zendaya. and You know what I mean? Like these kind of one word. Well, I guess it's not just Bible. It's the Bible, the Ohio State University. But I just feel like when it comes to that, people are more rigid because I don't know because it's old and it was written forever in a fuck ago, but just because it's old does not make it smart, okay? Time is inevitable, but success is not. Growth is not. Shit's gonna get old because time is gonna pass, but like we need to progress.
00:20:31
awakenbake
Yeah, I would also like to acknowledge that I recognize this is very much a get high and talk about the universe as episode. And on that note, I'm gonna take another hit. Last quick thing about thinking for yourself. I think it's also important because in the Bible, there are a lot of really good messages and lessons and teachings. And in spirituality, there are a lot of really good message message and teaching. Sorry, I'm like robot right now. um But yeah, I recognize that and I see that. So having the ability to think for yourself, though, allows you to actually take in all this text or all of this information and research and be able to better understand it and digest it and move forward with it because you can kind of weed out what parts are for you, what parts aren't for you, actually go forward being a better person and utilizing it instead of just being like a sheep, I guess. I hate using that word because I feel like people use it to shit on like liberal people or like more progressive people. But if I'm wrong about that, then OK, never mind. Honestly, I woke up like very on edge today um and I was like ready to fight with my words, not my fists. But then I started smoking and that helped me calm down quite a bit. And then I'm honestly feeling like through talking this out with you guys, I'm working through my feelings and understanding of it. And I'm kind of like,
00:21:47
awakenbake
Okay, I see how people are people and all of that. Like I know that we're all still learning and growing on our path. Like I'm not mad if you're still doing that. And I'm also like, I'm not a professional. I'm not professional at at life and I'm not your teacher, but I do have two very specific things that I do kind of want to make clear. I think we must think for ourselves, especially in terms of like our personal beliefs and spiritual beliefs. And then two, and this is going to hurt some of y'all. We need to not fucking change our beliefs for a man, okay? If you feel attacked, think about it. You know, kind of sit in this one. I have known multiple women with extremely strong convictions and opinions, and I've seen so many of them who only change their political and spiritual beliefs when they get a new boyfriend. And
Gender Roles and Relationship Dynamics
00:22:36
awakenbake
you know what? Notice, I didn't say girlfriend, and I didn't say partners, because it only fucking happens with men. I'm sorry.
00:22:43
awakenbake
It's always the women that have these really great ideas about equality and how to help progress society and they're educated and they're smart and they're driven and they're passionate. And then they get with some conservative man and he's pushing his conservative bullshit onto women. And I am not trying to say that you're not allowed to have a conservative lifestyle or try to live a more conservative way or have those types of views. But pushing and projecting your conservative wet dream onto women is so fucking annoying because women are the ones who are hurt in these situations. The men are the ones who benefit and are on top from conservative situations and beliefs. It serves men. They have the power. They have the control. And I know
Religious Trauma and Free Will
00:23:23
awakenbake
some people are like, I don't want to think for myself. I get it, bitch. But you do when it comes to like actually
00:23:28
awakenbake
Having your own brain and your own thoughts. What if one day you want to do something and all of a sudden in your hubby's like no You can't do that. It's something that you've always done. You were always cool to do it suddenly. He's in a mood He doesn't want you to do it. That's how it starts little by fucking little. Why would you give away your fucking rights? Here's an idea, here's an idea. Instead of just fully fucking submitting to your husband, what if you just practice chivalry between the two of you? He can still open a door for you. He can still walk on the side of the sidewalk where the cars are, but he doesn't have to make all of your decisions. Okay, and maybe I am a little triggered. I love how I just said I wasn't, and now I'm like, I definitely am. Oh, and this last one is just me on some petty bullshit, okay? But I saw somebody on Twitter say that if you joke about God or Christians that you hate them, and bitch,
00:24:11
awakenbake
I have religious trauma. I have Catholic school and confession trauma. Also, side note, um I'm fine. He didn't do anything to me. But my Catholic school priest was fired for sexual misconduct and like sexual um being sexually inappropriate with students. So like it's not just this like fairy tale. Oh, sometimes it happens. Maybe it happens like, you know, once every 20 fucking years happens all the fucking time in Cincinnati, Ohio. My own granddaddy baptized me like, bitch, I will make a joke and talk my shit and refer to God as Skydaddy if I want to because it's my story and my experience. And I'm not joking on a religion that I'm not familiar with and that I've not been a part of because that's fucked up. But bitch if you don't let me live, another thing that really pisses me off, this will probably be the last thing on this rant because I could go all day. um But growing up,
00:25:01
awakenbake
with being, I don't know, just like going to a Catholic school and having that like shoved down my face. They always talked about free will this, free will that, well, God gave you free will, but they don't explain it like free will. It's explained as you either have two choices, good or bad. Your free will is either do this or go to hell. That's not free will. like What are you fucking saying? like That just doesn't make any sense to me. so To me, I never felt like I had a choice in those situations and that's why it's so restricting. and like
Conclusion and Call to Awareness
00:25:27
awakenbake
Drop a crucifix in the chat if you feel me chat. But I just didn't really resonate with that type of energy of like, well, no, you do have free will. But if you don't do this, you'll go to hell. Like I was like, I'm scared, bitch. Because by the time I found out that masturbating was a sin, I had already been doing it for a fat fucking minute.
00:25:44
awakenbake
period. I'm going to hell. It was done before it even started. Anyway, that's why I'm more of a spiritual girly. But again, I feel like if I would have been introduced to religion in a different way, maybe like a more comfortable, casual way, maybe it would have been a different story for me. Who knows? Anyway, thank you guys so much for listening. Like I said, I'm kind of all over the place today with my emotions and my passion and even just my speech pattern because PMDD bitch, she is winning. She has me in a death grip right now, that puffy gorilla grip death grip.
00:26:17
awakenbake
We're all in a cult, basically. And we need to work on that. We need to be aware. We need to all be mindful and make sure that we do not become permanent members of whatever fucking cult we are in. Unless the cult is a awake and big. That's pretty cool. I'm just kidding. This is not a cult. This is a podcast. It's fine. Thank you guys so much for listening. Please like, subscribe, tell your friends, tell your grandma, and as always, stay high.