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EP. 49 Star Wars Revenge of the Sith (2005)
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Transcript
Introduction and Episode Setup
00:00:00
Speaker
That a shtick like that, dude! Have you seen my dick? been looking for it.
00:00:07
Speaker
Sir, I'm gonna rub one out right here on your counter.
00:00:11
Speaker
We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.
00:00:19
Speaker
I'm rinsing your girl out, bud.
00:00:23
Speaker
That's how I identify the Doteca Heedron.
00:00:27
Speaker
a
00:00:34
Speaker
Hello, my name is Nick and I have shaft hair.
00:00:38
Speaker
Scrub in the pot, which is what I call when I jerk myself off.
00:00:44
Speaker
We're just joking. Everything's jokes.
00:00:48
Speaker
Two girls, one cup? No. Two guys, one screen? Yes.
00:00:56
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode 49 of the Two Guys One Screen podcast. Assuming we have any fans left after Half-Blood Prince because that just came out. We might be in jail by the time in this episode comes out.
00:01:10
Speaker
Who knows? um Hemorrhoid homies, the Poetown boys. I'm joined, as always, by the Edgelord himself, Gerald. And I believe today, you're hearing my voice, should be May the 5th, a.k.a. Revenge of the 5th, a.k.a. We're reviewing Revenge of the Sith today.
00:01:29
Speaker
hey gri strategically planned. Uh-huh. I mean, we were torn because there was a possibility that we did the whole franchise and what we're going to do if we did this first.
00:01:42
Speaker
um Sorry. So
00:01:47
Speaker
ah yeah so here's what I was thinking, right? If we do eventually ah go down the route of reviewing the entire franchise, which is a Yikes Kebab Jerry at some point, we could just like when we get to Revenge Sith, just do like sometimes podcasts do like a re-upload, you know, like special. Here you go Take that week off.
00:02:06
Speaker
In case you missed it. Well, we won't take any weeks off. Actually, we do. but We do, but you'll never know. You'll never know. i mean, this the first time y'all have heard our voices like accurately, like relatively close.
00:02:19
Speaker
I would say since Minecraft. It's been a few weeks. I mean, Unhinged was recent, but we didn't treat it like a new. We didn't know when i was going to come out. Yeah, all the ah all the Harry Potters, like, are old.
00:02:33
Speaker
Are old. Now I'm single, ready to mingle. How doing, Mia? About to get a new... Actually, I shouldn't say that. No, by then they'll fucking know. My notes will be up. I'll fucking get a new job.
00:02:47
Speaker
Yeah. ah i We We have... have... The DMs of an ex, and it's it's kind of cooking. I ain't gonna lie. Oh, yeah.
00:02:59
Speaker
Is it appropriate to hit a doing-doing or is it not appropriate? Oh, fuck it. She gets it. She used to get it. i mean, maybe she still takes it. If you're listening,
Giveaway Conclusion and Audience Interaction
00:03:10
Speaker
we're... I'm sorry.
00:03:11
Speaker
i don't think she does have a podcast yet. Okay, well, we'll get there. ah let's Let's do some housekeeping real quick. ah The giveaway is over, but you fucking mouth breathers didn't listen correctly. So there was only one entrant and...
00:03:29
Speaker
It was my cousin, k Christina, a.k.a. the Slut. So if you're listening to this, you won the giveaway. You fucking won. You want us to sign it or not? and She definitely does not want me to sign it. I mean, that adds no value to her life.
00:03:40
Speaker
You don't think so? I'm her cousin. she I mean, she watched me be born, I'm pretty sure. like i Me signing something for her does not do much. Maybe she thinks of you in like a higher level now. She's like, oh my god, my cousin's so famous. Yeah, I mean, she knows what the numbers are.
00:03:57
Speaker
um Better luck next time, fuckheads, because you didn't listen to us. I don't know why it was so difficult, but if you'd like the photo, go, oh, I lost. Well, you didn't fucking follow the directions.
00:04:09
Speaker
Yeah, what the fuck? You're supposed to ah follow and comment. ah The other thing, which we can cut this or we don't have to. Should we tell them the new franchise we're covering or should we do a little teaser like I last time?
00:04:23
Speaker
ah Let's fucking tease them. Alright, we'll do little teaser. um Okay, so we'll say this. We have... Y'all voted or didn't vote. I don't fucking know. um On the next franchise to be covered on this podcast and that...
00:04:39
Speaker
franchise has been selected um we will start recording those within the next month i would in a month from now we're gonna start recording those drawings which is actually very exciting because i'll be honest right h i've seen one two three haven't seen four or five well that might give it away because how many they have five films fuck them i don't care um And I've only seen each of those movies once.
00:05:08
Speaker
And it's been at least 10 plus years. You're really just making it easy for which one we're doing.
00:05:19
Speaker
Fuck them. I don't care. But we're supposed to tease it. Remember? That's what we said. we might as well just say what we're doing. Then like I asked you fucking five minutes ago. You fuck. I fucking, I ruined it. I was trying to edge them, but I fucking ruined it all right. Yeah. You're real great edge lording over there. Jesus Christ. Fine.
00:05:36
Speaker
I'm just going fucking lay it out to you right now. All right. It's pirates of the fucking Caribbean. All right. It's Caribbean. Caribbean. All right. It's pirates of the Caribbean.
00:05:47
Speaker
All right. yeah Yeah. rat no Yeah. But yeah, I've, I've only seen one, two, three, uh, and I haven't, seen them in like yeah literal years so it's damn near a blind watch for the franchise at this point but i i think i see uh world at war is it world at war no at world's end at world at war's call duty uh at world's end i did see that release weekend for insert people we went to school with birthday who is it i'll believe it
00:06:23
Speaker
Why you drop his last name like that? Because you can censor it. ah Shout out to Greg. I guess. I don't know. i don't really fuck with that kid like that. and I didn't either. i mean, no, I don't either.
00:06:34
Speaker
Yeah. All we'll do... plug So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com.
00:06:49
Speaker
Follow us on YouTube, TikTok for the fuck you. TikTok. Don't with TikTok. Fucking. I mean, were I'm going to post on there still, but why this fucking guy back on my feet again?
00:07:00
Speaker
Just look at motherfucker. Get this shit off my screen. TikTok. I don't want this. I don't want it. It's because you sent me that video. so now it's like, man, he's all over. This guy is rubbing people down in Turkey. I don't like that.
00:07:15
Speaker
Um, leave us a voice, but you fucks. Yeah. Sorry. I keep getting derailed during my follow us on, uh, letterboxed. Uh, I don't think I have any followers on that bitch.
00:07:28
Speaker
I follow him. um You know what I mean. And Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Fuck you, Mark. Jesus Christ. Fuck. He's such a fucking cop. Can't fucking spell. Dumbass.
00:07:39
Speaker
um Let's cut that. I said it in Discord, so it's fine. Okay. um Yeah, 5088 fist 5088 dip tip. fist us five eight eight dip tip All that shit's going in the description.
00:07:53
Speaker
Yeah, fucking will. You can click it. You probably fucking won't because you know the fucking feel. You can lick it and stick it up my ass. If you want to. Only if you're feeling it, you know I mean?
00:08:05
Speaker
I already assumed that this episode is probably going to go off the rails, but it's fine. and I mean, we're talking about sabers. Yeah. Fucking schticks. More schticks. We're talking Natalie Portman's fucking milkers.
00:08:18
Speaker
pregnant for half their movie. They're preggers. Yeah. Um, all right. You're squeaking.
Star Wars Content and Social Media Updates
00:08:26
Speaker
Yeah. A little bit. Uh, we'll go into um star. Oh, we'll go in.
00:08:33
Speaker
We'll go into some, I have the cast pulled up, but I forgot before that. Uh, we haven't done this in a long time. Physical media pickup. I have one, uh, shout out to Nova. I love Nova.
00:08:44
Speaker
Uh, but I am very disappointed in this release. Do better. ah It is long legs. For some reason, there's two different copies of it. They're both Blu-ray. I paid too much money for this.
00:08:56
Speaker
One is has a lenticular schlit. We like lenticular schlit. that's nice. It looks cool. There's some cards in here, I'm pretty sure. or there's not. I don't fucking remember. the This is what really pisses me off. as like This is the cover on both of them. It looks like a fucking pirated movie.
00:09:15
Speaker
Oh, yeah, i don't like that. Real bad. At least the slip is gorgeous. And there's two copies. Why did I get two copies? This one is not um lenticular, but the inside looks the exact same.
00:09:28
Speaker
It looks like somebody pirated this fucking thing. Nova, you make some gorgeous shit. This is not one of them. I'm sorry. Do better. This is number 33 out of 700, so I got that going for me.
00:09:41
Speaker
I hate that. All right, here's your cast. Star Wars Episode III, Revenge of the Sith, directed by the George Lucas. um Bro, who is the dude that did the music for this movie?
00:09:52
Speaker
John Williams. Shout out to John Williams. I mean, the goat. One of the goats. yeah For sure. I mean, him, Hans Zimmer, like, cookin'.
00:10:05
Speaker
ah Hayden Christensen plays Anakin Skywalker. Is he a piece? He used to be. In this movie, is he a piece?
00:10:17
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, fuck him.
00:10:22
Speaker
His character is very fucking annoying, but I mean, he's a piece. um We're not going to go through their filmographies because it's a pretty lengthy cast. Yeah, there's a lot of people that you actually have to talk ah talk about.
00:10:35
Speaker
Right. We got Ewan McGregor plays Obi-Wan Kenobi. I mean, he's a fucking piece and a half dude. Except for that little, that little do-do-do-do right in the center. Yeah, he had a little do-do-do. But is it only in this movie or does he have that like on his head?
00:10:48
Speaker
i couldt I don't remember it in Phantom Menace. Maybe he got it. Bro, this picture him on Letterboxd, you don't got it. It's not there. He definitely had it removed. I think they put it on thing. Possibly. I mean, that dude, Ewan McGregor, one of my favorite actors of all time, I would say. He's great.
00:11:05
Speaker
um next we got ian mcdermond uh aka chancellor palpatine aka darth sidious uh he is not getting fucked no he ain't fucking it no no he ain't fucking it but man is a killer actor and has some very very quotable lines uh that will live on forever did you pull any of them As buttons?
00:11:31
Speaker
Yeah. No, but we did have... um we yeah this wast This was in... ah For all you fans, this was the first button I ever used when we got the soundboard. Hello there. That's... Yeah.
00:11:43
Speaker
Very low. Well, it's it's... Hello there. it's That's what it is. And then there was also... We also had this one on the first iteration of the soundboard.
00:11:56
Speaker
This will also be pretty low.
00:12:02
Speaker
do it. That's Palpatine saying do it. Yeah. um That's all I got. i didn't pull anything else. We have a pretty full board as it is. We got Samuel Jackson who plays Mace Windu. We got Jimmy Smith who plays Senator Bale Organa. We got Natalie Portman.
00:12:18
Speaker
I'm just saying. We got Natalie Portman who's a fucking piece. We won't be discussing that she's a piece. i don't know if she has no there was no buttons in Black Swan. So she's a fucking piece. She's previously seen on Black Swan.
00:12:32
Speaker
Samuel Jackson previously seen in fucking. All right, now, can Samuel Jackson get it or not? don't really like bald dudes, ah but he's Samuel Jackson. so I don't like black dudes. I was going to say that, but I was like, no.
00:12:50
Speaker
No, you're not into black dudes. That's all you can say. That's fun to say. not into black dudes, black women, though. Come here, Queens. Yeah, man. Shout out. Holla, holla. ala That's for a white girl.
00:13:02
Speaker
Right. Shout out my ya means. Shout out to ya means, so it's all right. Shout out to him. I'd fuck him. You can hit the button. Fuck it. I'll bust all over his ball here.
00:13:16
Speaker
ah We got Jimmy Smits, who plays Senator Bale Organa. That's going to be... No, thank you. Frank Oz voices Yoda. I don't think.
00:13:28
Speaker
Wait, CGI Yoda or puppet Yoda can get it. Oh God. Uh, well it's CGI Yoda. So CGI Yoda could probably get it. He looks good. Really? You give it to him. I can get it better.
00:13:40
Speaker
I wouldn't give it to either of them. I was just asking that question and make it interesting. But if you held a gun to my head, I'd probably fuck Puppet Yoda, I think. Wow. More texture. More texture, you know mean?
00:13:51
Speaker
Plus, it's probably cloth, so easy cleanup, right? Yeah. I mean, yeah I get it. Right. i mean, it's probably tight, too. He's small. Oh, fuck. Yeah, dude. But you're going to fuck Puppet Yoda.
00:14:03
Speaker
You can fuck him on the swamps of Dagobah. That shit's going to nasty. You get infections. It's what it is. i don't You do what has to be done. Take one for the team. um Palpatine can't win.
00:14:18
Speaker
like a fucking Yoda. so the
00:14:24
Speaker
We got Anthony Daniels who plays C-3PO. I'll be honest. He's a good looking dude. He's that's a nice looking. and We call that guy a white panther because he's old or a white fox.
00:14:35
Speaker
I like that. Yeah, I'm into that. knowing know Anthony Daniels, if you're listening, we fuck you. I'm pretty sure he's played C-3PO since like 77. He's in all these. Yeah.
00:14:47
Speaker
ah We got the legendary Christopher Lee R.I.P. who plays Count Dooku. Not in this movie. Yeah. But he's piece. I agree. not in this movie yeah but he's a piece agree He's a legend. He deserves it.
00:15:03
Speaker
Okay, these people i don't care about. Shout out Ahmed Best for playing Jar Jar Binks does not speak, but he does play it. Would you fuck Jar Jar? i probably wouldn't. I don't know.
00:15:15
Speaker
Those floppy ears, don't know. ain't fucking it. That's probably the sound he would make too. Shout to Peter Mayhew, who's played Chewbacca for all this time.
00:15:28
Speaker
Shout out to Kenny Baker, who plays R2-D2. Oh, shout out ah to Maura Morrison, Commander Cody. Joel Edgerton plays Owen Lahr. Did not know that.
00:15:40
Speaker
Who voices General Grievous? Where's that at? Oh, yeah, that's a good question. um see cause I don't see Yeah, I'm not seeing him on here either, letterboxed. Typically, it just means I'm blind.
00:15:52
Speaker
and I'm not seeing it either. That's fucking weird. out to that dude. Or a woman. It could be a woman. We don't know. Oh. Matthew Wood. Oh yeah. How you done?
00:16:04
Speaker
How you done? Get that Robocock. Grievous. Bro, this dude Silas Carson voices Newt Gunray and Kid Adi Moody. Mundy? Fuck.
00:16:15
Speaker
That's crazy. Good for him. I got the opportunity to go re-watch this in theaters. Um, it was in the theater. It was sold out.
00:16:27
Speaker
Of course. i Actually, I haven't been in a sold out theater in a hot minute, but everybody was fucking into it, dude. um You know, clapping shit like it was great. Hooting, hollering.
00:16:39
Speaker
Yeah. ah This one, this one guy like leaned over because there was like group of friends and this girl came in and I guess she hasn't seen it. And he's like, I'm so excited for you.
00:16:52
Speaker
I mean, it is you can live in today's world and they have not seen this movie. I mean, i I would say this is one of the must watch it before you die type. the I think this one girl like didn't even like watch a single Star Wars movie and she didn't know that Anakin was Darth Vader.
00:17:06
Speaker
yeah So she was like, whoa. i was like, hmm, it's little obvious, but it's all right It is obvious. Also, i i was seeing a girl that had never seen a Star Wars before this too.
00:17:18
Speaker
which is like, it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Now, if you haven't seen it, I'm like, you probably should see it for the culture, but I'm kind of Star Wars out even after watching this film. I'm still kind of out of it.
00:17:29
Speaker
This is definitely one of the... I mean, this is one of those movies that I've seen so many times, you know? Right. So many. ah This is my first Star Wars I've ever seen, actually.
Review of 'Revenge of the Sith' - Initial Thoughts
00:17:40
Speaker
You ever saw? Fuck you. Okay. But yes. um I started here At the bottom. I said at the top, dog. i don't know what you mean. Then the bottom got deeper.
00:17:54
Speaker
Yeah. I don't remember the first Star Wars I saw. I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure was it was A New Hope. I'm pretty sure. You would have thought that's where I started, but... Also, shout out to the Blue Ray Steelbook for this movie. I don't know how I found it, but I have it.
00:18:11
Speaker
Which one is it? Is it the... With Grievous' face on it? Oh, it is Grievous, yeah. And you open it, it's the Mustafar duel. Pretty sick. Sick. Sick! ah This movie released... What?
00:18:23
Speaker
I gonna say, what's your favorite Star Wars planet?
00:18:29
Speaker
don't kind of fuck Coruscant. Coruscant's cool, yeah. It's kind of a lame answer, but kind fuck with it heavy. my fuck it. Mustafar's too hot. Kashyyyk... don't like bugs. Yeah.
00:18:40
Speaker
Geonosis. I don't like um like sand. So I don't like... Geonosis. If you don't like bugs, Geonosis is definitely worse for bugs. Yeah. Maybe Yavin 4. Shout Yavin 4.
00:18:52
Speaker
Was Yavin 4 like a blown up in... Yeah. The OG? Yeah. I like that one. It's not there anymore. Yeah. That's... Fuck Tatooine.
00:19:02
Speaker
You're fucked by Tatooine. Fuck too much desert. Yeah, even though we can't find a sand desert in our fucking Minecraft world. By the way, since Minecraft episode, we've since created a realm.
00:19:15
Speaker
Yo, hit us up if you want to be on our realm. Don't hit us up. I'm not interested in having you. Fuck them, man. No, I'm not interested. I don't want you in my realm. How about that? If you know us personally, hit us up.
00:19:28
Speaker
If you know us personally, still don't hit us up. I don't want you on my realm. Wow. Oh, I never said my favorite Star Wars planet. Oh, I said Yavin 4. You said Yavin 4, and then I agree with you.
00:19:40
Speaker
Whatever... What's that planet? I don't know the name of it, but Aayla Secura gets fucking massacred. Don't like snow. Who? Aayla Secura gets massacred in this movie on that planet.
00:19:51
Speaker
Is that the blue bitch? Yeah. Didn't know her name.
00:19:56
Speaker
Oh, yeah, i like Hoth. know what that planet is. Fuck, I'm too fucking cold. Too fucking cold, sure, but... Snow Troopers are dope. Okay.
00:20:09
Speaker
I mean, like when are we living when are we living on this planet? In three or in six? You mean five? Why would I mean five? Because five is Empire Strikes Back.
00:20:21
Speaker
Yeah, but you could still live on Hoth in episode six. i mean You would still be physically able to do that. It didn't go away. no and all all All times.
00:20:34
Speaker
snows cool Yeah, but you're saying snow troopers, they wouldn't be around in after six. Right. Okay, so it's either... They've been obliterated. Well, yeah, they wouldn't be... So it's got to be four, five, or six. was Is when you want to live there.
00:20:50
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, okay, that's what I'm getting at. Okay. Okay. Or two. I mean, two, they they they were being made. They werere being cloned. The clones were getting cloned.
00:21:02
Speaker
And three, they're all over the place. Yeah, they are all over place. But they aren't snow troopers yet. They're still just clone troopers. You know, you don't get variations. mean, you kind of do.
00:21:14
Speaker
But you get different colorways. um That's why I fuck with the clones. You get different colors. Right. yeah yeah Because the clones aren't diverse because they're all fucking Cody.
00:21:27
Speaker
They're literally all Cody, but they have different colors. That's cool. Yeah. get into it Movie released 2005. This is a post 9-11 film.
00:21:37
Speaker
ah We had the iconic scroll. I didn't read it. ah Everybody kind of knows what fuck's going on in this movie. It's all politics. They're at fucking war. right It's a full-blown war The opening scene, we follow Obi-Wan and Anakin and their respective ships flying through the midst of a battle in space.
00:21:58
Speaker
Shout space battles? Oh, you know my favorite planet is? I just decided show my mind. Where is that? What's the fucking Sith planet that they fly ah they fly to?
00:22:09
Speaker
That they fly to? Exegol. That's my favorite one. Exegol. Just the side of that. I like Bespin. That's where Cloud City is. And shout to that black guy running in the sky. You know what mean?
00:22:24
Speaker
Lado Calrissian? Yeah. out to him. RIP. I have a question to ask you after you're recording cause i can't say it on here. Okay. right. This this opening scene very iconic. I love this scene. I always link this in my in my brain to the the Lego Star Wars video game, which is obviously the complete saga, which is fucking great.
00:22:45
Speaker
Yeah, the complete saga is great.
In-depth Film Analysis: Scenes and Characters
00:22:48
Speaker
a Skywalker saga. Eh, it's okay. Skip to my Lou. Um, they are approaching General Grievous' ship or the command ship and we see them fight some vulture droids with X-wings. They're all X-wings, right?
00:23:05
Speaker
Yeah. ah By the way, there's been a lot of jawns in this episode because I don't have all my Star Wars terminology. If you're a hardcore Star Wars fan, you're probably an incel. So relax. Yeah, that's very true.
00:23:16
Speaker
Or you found a woman who probably looks like an ogre who is also a hardcore Star Wars fan. And that's fine. And her fucking vagina probably looks like a Wookiee. because yeah yeah I'm just kidding. These are just jokes. But don't get mad I don't fucking use the right words. I don't care. You did not learn from Harry Potter.
00:23:34
Speaker
um
00:23:36
Speaker
We see an X-Wing get shot down and Anakin wants to go back and help the clones. But Obi-Wan says, we have to focus on our mission. ah and the vulture droids shoot missiles at them, and they have to evade.
00:23:49
Speaker
Anakin does a flip-floppy spin-a-rooney. Shout out Booker T. And the missiles, there's two chasing him that kind of just cloud each other because they go in circles, whatever.
00:24:00
Speaker
um We follow Obi-Wan is also being pursued by some missiles, and he slows down, and the missiles collide with oncoming buzz droids. i see we see these buzz droids mount Obi-Wan's ship.
00:24:14
Speaker
ah done ah And they tear R4's head off. Oh, dear. Which sucks. Fuck Yeah. I mean, it just sucks getting your head torn off. I mean, sure.
00:24:29
Speaker
That sucks. ah No, fuck R4 100%. just sucks if your head gets torn off. Um, immediately Obi-Wan tells Anakin to go without him, but, uh, Anakin instead tries to shoot the, buzz droids off his ship, which does not work very well.
00:24:47
Speaker
He fucking shoots off half of Obi-Wan's wing. Mm.
00:24:53
Speaker
Uh, he then uses... His wing to smush the buzz droids on Obi-Wan's wing. And one buzz droid latches onto Anakin's ship. And we see R2-D2 fuck up a buzz droid.
00:25:06
Speaker
little electrical zapper. where your electrical cum come in handy. Just fucking shoot that shit right in the eye. Yeah, wait for our um ah glass episode to come out before you can figure that joke out. Yeah, before you start talking about my cum. Mm-hmm.
00:25:20
Speaker
They notice on the command ship the shields are still up, and they shoot the shields, and the door starts closing. and They just barely make it in, and you get this cool crash land, and they jump out and destroy some droids.
00:25:34
Speaker
What are the fucking ah Silver Tall Johns called that shoot like this? Oh, they're super battle droids. Super battle droids. Thank you for that. You got it. Oh, that was another one. It was Silver John.
00:25:46
Speaker
ah so um R2 is able to locate the Chancellor. by The whole mission is to rescue the Chancellor, if I didn't say that already. Or if you don't because haven't seen Star Wars.
00:25:58
Speaker
ah They're trying to find Chancellor Palpatine. um And he finds it by hacking into the system. And they ask R2 to stay with the ship. Next scene, we meet General Grievous.
00:26:11
Speaker
Shout out Wood. think it's Matt Wood. Matthew Wood, yeah. Shout out Mateo Wood. He goes all... He also kind of, he I mean, definitely bleeped this.
00:26:26
Speaker
So it's just what it is. i don't make the rules. um One day we will say that and not have it bleeped, but it's fine. hope so. Yeah. He's told about Anakin and Obi-Wan's arrival.
00:26:38
Speaker
We cut back to Anakin Obi-Wan who are attacked by droidekas. They're called destroyers, but these are fucking droidekas. Yeah, 100%. We all know. We all know. This is bullshit. Hopefully...
00:26:49
Speaker
hopefully Go ahead. If you snow, you snow. You know? Yeah. Hopefully, the hardcore Star Wars fans can appreciate that I said Droideka and not Destroyer. Because that's fucking gay. Come on, Anakin. Come on. Right. You know, but they pull up, put their shields up, and then slaughter some people. And they go, paint maybe the pianom like that. And then, ah that remember in Phantom Menace, when they do that speed run thing? Yeah. Anakin, oh, boy, don't do that because it's not a thing anymore. It just happens one time of one movie. And that's it. Right.
00:27:17
Speaker
Um, they hop on an elevator, which is also filled with some droids and they destroy them. Uh, super battle droids enter the hangar to check out Obi-Wan and, uh, Anakin ships.
00:27:31
Speaker
Uh, so art you kind of has to hide. The elevator Obi-Wan and Anakin on our stops. So they radio to R2 to activate the elevator. It's like 3-1-1-7-4, something like that.
00:27:42
Speaker
There you go, dude. i do I can hear that in my head. I didn't write that down. I just hear that. Especially when he's like muffled. He's like 3-1-1-7-4. R2? I can't do a a good Obi-Wan, but Anakin's like, fuck this. And he cuts a hole in the ceiling of the elevator and jumps out.
00:27:59
Speaker
When suddenly the elder gets jerked downwards. You can jerk me downwards. You can jerk me in downward facing and dog. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. um Is it? You know what it is? Is it? Do we just not?
00:28:11
Speaker
We can't record bad movies because the energy is already better on this recording. Is it just bad movies that we just don't just don't go well for us? You know, it's probably that's probably what it is. Yeah.
00:28:22
Speaker
And we don't want to do it. right I didn't want to do at all, dude. Yeah, okay. Fair enough. got to do some blind movies we know with that I can't tell you before they're bad.
00:28:36
Speaker
Right. plus um For the listener, we recorded Glass and it was terrible. Yeah, the recording's terrible. Like, it's going be a bad episode. It's to be a bit of a sleeper. yeah It's going to be a bank until something bad happens.
00:28:49
Speaker
Yeah, pretty much. ah But, on top of that, like, I think because we've seen like this movie so much, like we can just like shoot off like a bunch of stuff about it, you know?
00:29:01
Speaker
enough. You can shoot off in your mouth. You could definitely shoot off my mouth. i would fucking catch it and gargle it for you. what the fuck is happening?
00:29:17
Speaker
or You ever go up Porthub and just type in cum swap? Or is that just me? No, but like I told you, cumflation goes crazy. There's like a superhuman kind of cum. That just that randomly popped up for me. i didn Did you watch any of it? They're really short. You can't find full videos. i didn't Yeah, I didn't take my dick out because I knew it wasn't going to be good, right? So I just... It was clearly fake because he's holding like where his shaft connects to like his pelvis.
00:29:42
Speaker
Yeah. You know? Right. So like you know it's a fake dick.
00:29:48
Speaker
Oh, really? Yeah. So what, do you tuck the real dick back? um it's Yeah, probably. Oh, interesting. All right. um
00:29:59
Speaker
So oli has been je I can't believe it ever getting jerked down where started all this. um That's crazy. Anakin has to jump and he's holding on to a ledge where he's greeted by some droids. R2, meanwhile, is spotted by some super battle droids.
00:30:15
Speaker
But he's able to send the elevator back up. um And he's grabbed by these super battle droids. And he like fucking drops some grease on them. He fucking lights them on fire. He like inks all over them. You guys made me ink.
00:30:28
Speaker
Shout that movie.
00:30:32
Speaker
Anakin hops the elevator on the way up. And Obi-Wan pulls his fucking lightsaber out. But it's only Anakin. Don't worry. He's about to fuck him up. Anakin and Obi-Wan arrive to find the Chancellor.
00:30:45
Speaker
um They free him when Count Dooku arrives. um the and Then ensues a lightsaber fight.
00:30:56
Speaker
It's hard to talk about these lightsaber fights. I mean, the choreography is very good. Always. i mean, we'll get to the big one at the end, but like the it's always like there they're good. um Dooku force throws Obi-Wan and he drops a... just wrote he drops a level on his ass. Like he drops like a whole fucking... It's like a catwalk maybe? It's a it's a balcony. and he dropped a fucking balcony on this man.
00:31:20
Speaker
um We get Anakin versus Dooku. um And Dooku says that he senses fear, hate, and anger. um
00:31:32
Speaker
They continue to duel then Anakin cuts off Dooku's hands. That noise, by the way, that aren' like when he cuts his fucking hands off, I hear that when I like injure myself.
00:31:43
Speaker
Really? I swear to God, like I cut my finger, clean the slice of the day. I fucking heard that sound when I fucking cut my finger. That's cool. And for some reason, like as a child, I like just like linked to my brain. It's like injury.
00:31:54
Speaker
You hear this noise. Yeah. I don't know. and Also, I realize there's no blood in Star Wars because the lightsaber like fucking cauterizes the wound. Yeah, exactly. Does that make sense? Uh-huh.
00:32:05
Speaker
That's how makes It's not like a new thought. I just realized it, though. Yeah. And Dooku, like, drops to his knee. Got me! That's a fucking... An Anakin, you I don't think Dooku could fucking suck very well.
00:32:16
Speaker
Because he's old? Yeah. That mouth fucking stretched thin, know mean? He's got, like, pock marks and shit. Because, I mean, Obi-Wan's going to have Qui-Gon's footsteps.
00:32:27
Speaker
Yeah. Obi-Wan? Anakin. Sorry. It's okay. It's Because Qui-Gon was Dooku's fucking apprentice, so he was definitely fucking. If Dooku was gay. You gotta fuck Liam Neeson.
00:32:40
Speaker
Of course you gotta fuck Liam Neeson. Grabbed by that fucking ponytail. Fuck, go at him. Fuck, fuck.
00:32:48
Speaker
Yeah, you like the force feels? Yeah. You want me to force choke you, hu I got a little Sith in me. Yeah. You know, both sides of the force.
00:32:59
Speaker
I'm fucking gay. What of it? You know, both sides of the force means you're bi? Yeah, maybe. don't know both sides of the force. What's it to you?
00:33:08
Speaker
Um... So... Palpatine tells Anakin to kill Dooku. And he's like, I probably shouldn't. And that's where you get the iconic, uh... do it yeah they do it um we see anakin decapitate uh dooku but he does feel some remorse and says it's not the jedi way i do like how you see his head roll that's nice and then uh palpatine reminds him hey remember when you slaughtered all those sand people last movie oh yeah o because you hear that sound too it's like anakin has like a little vietnam flashback yeah shout lenny
00:33:44
Speaker
I hope my dad doesn't have flashbacks. Although it could be why he like maybe his night because he has night terrors too. o He'll just start fucking waking up and start screaming. Maybe he's having non flashbacks. Yeah, but he probably have enough like mine. We're not like based in anything serious. Like his are probably pretty bad.
00:34:01
Speaker
Yeah. but Like maybe should. I should probably bring him to like if he's old. He's probably. Yeah, that's true. Fuck him. my dad, but... Yeah, don't, i mean... Right.
00:34:15
Speaker
He'd probably get it to you, though. Sure. little Bluetooth. I got some. Anakin stops to pick up Obi-Wan, and Palpatine's like, leave him. And Anakin's like, nah, we're bringing him.
00:34:28
Speaker
ah There's a cut, and we see that the command ship's under a pretty heavy attack, and the elevator stops working, and the ship takes a fucking critical shot and starts going down. Give my fucking critical shot.
00:34:39
Speaker
Yeah. um And then instead of taking the elevator, Anakin and Palpatine are running down the shaft while Anakin's carrying Obi-Wan. He's like fucking all an ass.
00:34:51
Speaker
He's giving shaft while running down the shaft with Obi-Wan on his back. Back shots. Dude, the way Obi-Wan's position is like fucking the inside of his like fucking shoulder. Like his armpit. He's like fucking his armpit while or while they're running.
00:35:04
Speaker
Because this is the... Because like the running causes like up and down commotion. She's like, not done. She's fucking in her armpit.
00:35:14
Speaker
You said given shaft. No, I know, but I didn't think you were going to start talking about fucking someone's armpit. I mean, I get it because you're like this. Pull the picture up. He's laying over his shoulder and his dick is. what I mean, look, if if you like get fuck my armpit, I'd be honored.
00:35:30
Speaker
Is he going finish in your armpit? It's going to get in your armpit. You're right. I wouldn't want that. that I wouldn't want one. with It's actually going to be easy to clean. If he's going to nut anywhere, that's an easy clean. Just get a loop. And my armpits not an easy clean, bro.
00:35:44
Speaker
Just get a loofah and just go, Ugh, a loofah? Would you ever use that loofah afterwards? If I clean cum off of it, no Okay, good. All right. Yeah, just throw away.
00:35:55
Speaker
yeah i don't have the button anymore, but yes. I mean, I have it, just not here. ah Grievous and the droid crew piloting the ship are able to stabilize it and...
00:36:07
Speaker
The ship, you slowly watch Anakin, Palpatine, Obi-Wan kind of go from being upright to hanging off a fucking edge. Um... Obi-Wan wakes up hanging. He's like, what the fuck's going on?
00:36:21
Speaker
see
00:36:25
Speaker
Okay. Cut that. Or bleep it. Do something. don't leave Don't leave that the way it is. so
00:36:35
Speaker
Um...
00:36:39
Speaker
So the elevator is coming down and they have to drop and then they kind of swing into another floor because the door is open, I guess. And they get trapped in grappling hook like Batman. like Yes.
00:36:51
Speaker
um They get trapped in Ray shields, which are just like OP and never used. Really? like I guess in two, they are kind of, but not really. What? You can't get out of them.
00:37:02
Speaker
Yeah. Anakin says that R2 will be in to release them shortly. And then he we find him captured. And they're taken to Grievous. Grievous takes their lightsabers. These lightsabers will be a nice addition to my collection.
00:37:20
Speaker
That was like Grievous Yoda mix. Sorry, I can't do a good Grievous. I can't either.
00:37:30
Speaker
R2 goes crazy fucking malfunction. What do you want to call it?
00:37:36
Speaker
That was fucking good. That was good, dude. That was great. I should make that a bun. Anytime someone fucking busts a load or something. yeah i mean, for our for our one year, we're going to have plenty of those.
00:37:53
Speaker
Oh. Am I wrong? No. Yeah, you're right. Okay. All right, good. We're recording that soon. How soon is it? It's like next like month.
00:38:04
Speaker
Two weeks. Yeah. Oh, the day after Mother's Day. i'd be fun. Hey, Dad, I got a movie for us to watch together. ah least we're doing At least we're also doing Sweeney Todd with it.
00:38:14
Speaker
All right. i Yeah. Okay. So, Anakin Obi-Wan force pull their sabers out of... What? ah What?
00:38:26
Speaker
It's a force pole. What should I say? What should I say? What? saveor ah ha ha
00:38:37
Speaker
what but I'm just reading what I wrote. I know, but it makes sense. Actually, didn't write that. I didn't write that at all. I just said oh see Oh, see? See? I wrote Anakin Obi-Wan Escape Easily. That's what I wrote.
00:38:52
Speaker
But they force pull their sabers. Right. didn't say they force pull each other's sabers. That'd be crazy. You want force fucking force tug me? Yeah. sir It's got to be a thing, right?
00:39:04
Speaker
Yeah. um If you think that was funny, wait for you to hear this. They started destroying um some droids and Obi-Wan decapitates one What do you call those ones?
00:39:16
Speaker
I don't know what the purple Johns are called. They're the purple Johns. And after he, after he gives him the head, he still wants more.
00:39:28
Speaker
So Obi-Wan goes back in and finishes the job. That's how we should market this podcast. If you want every movie ever sexualized, just listen to the two guys on screen.
00:39:38
Speaker
i mean, that's we could have a niche market right there. but That's basically what we do um every episode unintentionally. It just kind works though, right?
00:39:51
Speaker
Yeah. um Grievous escapes by breaking the ah window and floating out into space and he latches onto an escape pod. Because he's a cyborg, so he doesn't have to breathe air.
00:40:02
Speaker
Right. ah The ship is going down and they lose half the ship in space and have to land it. We watched him crash land on Coruscant. But it's okay because Anakin, you know, is as a pilot flyer.
00:40:17
Speaker
Allegedly.
00:40:20
Speaker
Obi-Wan goes to report to the Jedi Council. Anakin greeted by ah Mace Windu, Jar Jar Binks, Senator Organa, and some other politicians. Um...
00:40:32
Speaker
They all kind of walk inside and he runs off to smooth with Padme. I'll be honest. Every scene with Padme, I fucking hated. I love Natalie Portman, but these scenes are so bad. Well, that's the thing. That's why I fucking can't stand attack of the clones. Cause that's like almost the entire movie. Yeah. It's so, it's so obnoxious and it's cringe. Like the, I don't know if Hayden Christensen's a bad actor. I don't think he is, but every time he tries to like be lovey dovey, it just doesn't work for me. Him and Natalie Portman being lovey dovey do not work.
00:41:02
Speaker
No. Although there is one scene in this movie that Natalie Portman was in called May December where ah she she has to take a nebula. You know what a nebulizer is?
00:41:15
Speaker
Yeah, I do. Okay. She has like asthma. Yeah, she's like take it, right? and then And then this guy in the movie like comes in and they just start fucking.
00:41:26
Speaker
While she's nebulizing? What in the fuck? Yeah. No, it's not straight. It's not straight fucking, but I do vividly remember seeing Natalie Portman like out. I mean, it wasn't hers, but like straight Bush.
00:41:40
Speaker
What the fuck? And my review for that movie is what if we kissed by a nebulizer with the bite tongue, bite lip but emoji? Got the little fucking mask on. Getting fucking. No, I think it comes off and they start like kissing and shit. It's not like full blown fucking fucking, but it's like you see some decent shit. and I've been telling Jake because he's so horny all the time for her to watch that movie. He hasn't watched yet.
00:42:06
Speaker
That movie sucks. Besides that one part, by the way, I should probably find it on the line. Just watch that. It's on Netflix. It's a Netflix original. Oh, yeah. What are you doing, Netflix? May, may December.
00:42:16
Speaker
I can sing a clip of it if you want. but Also, yeah. Also, i watched ah ah part of Terminator 1 the other day. I forgot that like Sarah Connor and the other dude like fucking go at it in that movie. You see Tit like hanging nipple. They go at it. at You said the first like scene, right, is just Sarah Connor's fucking naked or something?
00:42:40
Speaker
No, Arnold's naked, but there's a sex scene in that movie that goes crazy. I gotta watch this. Maybe I'll watch it today. Have you ever seen Terminator? Not one. Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, there's a crazy... It's on Max, too. There's a crazy, crazy sex scene in the middle of it where it's like fucking your straight tit.
00:42:56
Speaker
Let's go. Tits. Multiple tits. Anyways. Yeah. Padme tells Anakin that she's prego my ego. What'd you say? No robot tit? Because that's off-putting. Well, there's no... Yeah. ah you force Anakin, you force-fucked this baby inside me.
00:43:13
Speaker
Bro, he fucking... I can't think anything. I'm sorry. Because if you don't know, um Jedis aren't supposed to like love or
Exploring Jedi Rules and Personal Anecdotes
00:43:22
Speaker
anything. They're not supposed to have connections, relationships, any of that.
00:43:25
Speaker
They're basically like... Yeah, they're like monks, priests. They're like monks that can sword fight. How done? How you done? And Anakin's like... i wonder I wonder if it's specific to like, you can't have relations like with a woman, but like men are like fair game.
00:43:42
Speaker
Right, because at the end, you know, the classic Obi-Wan, I love you. Like, I don't know. Well, he says he's his brother. It's not like I love you like I fucked you. Maybe. But also, let me know this. For anybody out there that has a brother, or like grew up with a brother, did y'all ever show each other your dicks?
00:44:00
Speaker
That's the thing I feel like people like little kids did, right? Just showed you your dicks? Because when I was born, my brother was 15. if he showed you his dick, that would have been illegal. Right, yeah. So if anybody out there has a brother that you're within like two or four years of age, four is even a little weird.
00:44:18
Speaker
Let us know. I feel like kids, like brothers, like would like show each other their dicks. Like twins, maybe. Right. Oh, mine's cut and yours isn't. i wonder what happened. Yeah, what the fuck happened? Botched?
00:44:30
Speaker
I'll tell you this. This kid, when I was younger, showed me his dick and he was not clipped. And I was like, what the fuck? Like, you're fucking weird, dude. Like, we're about to like. Like, we were doing like. tree All right. This is might have to get cut.
00:44:42
Speaker
But we were doing. well We were on the trampling, like WWE wrestling. Because that's fun to do. And he just straight pulled it out. That's weird. Yeah. And it was not, was not cut.
00:44:53
Speaker
like long He just hit him with the dick bang. Like, I mean, the man RKO man fucking pulled his dick out. What the fuck is going on? I got to see that. Like Randy, stone cold stummy with his cock.
00:45:08
Speaker
That's a pretty good lie right there. Stone Cold Stummy with his cock? Yeah. don't know that can... think you leave that in, I think, right? Shout to Alex. I don't think you even know who I am anymore. Yeah. but You did show me your dick. I don't know why you did that. Also, shout out to Berardo, who showed me his dick as an adult.
00:45:22
Speaker
I'm not sure why you did that either. I've never had another man show me his dick. That's not true. Oh, Tyler did. Tyler pulled his dick out. Like, out.
00:45:33
Speaker
But we were drunk, so that's different. Tyler made a shot in Pink Pong. Tyler from Hereditary and Goblet of Fire episode. That Tyler. Pulled his dick out when he made a shot in Beer Pong. Yeah.
00:45:43
Speaker
And I saw the whole thing. He was fucking drunk, though. And let me tell you, that kid's got a bush on him. You know what mean? I do remember that, yeah. I do remember the bush. Crazy bush. Not crazy. I'm saying it like, I don't know why I'm saying like that. I'm just trying to be funny. But like, yeah he does he does got some bush on him.
00:45:59
Speaker
I hope he doesn't now. He might. I mean, he we could it could be the end of the cycle and time to cut it again. It could be long There was no pubes in his toilet when I was at his house the other day. so i still got that pew perm going on.
00:46:11
Speaker
Let's go. Pew perm. I don't know why I have it. um don't know why he's like that. Sometimes it be like that. Okay. um Anyway, so Padme got fucked.
00:46:23
Speaker
Padme tells him like, I'm fucking pregnant. And Anakin's like, ah oh, that's yeah, that's great. Well, Anakin was trying to so fucking smooch her right there, and she's not. She's like, we can't do He's like, I don't fucking give a shit. Let's fucking go.
00:46:39
Speaker
Yeah, like he's horny, but like he didn't want kids. That's a whole nother layer because they have to hide their love, right? Like an ogre. Makes it hotter. Now she's pregnant, so it's like. When's the secret? It's hot, though.
00:46:50
Speaker
Right, but the questions are going to start being asked. Actually, I don't think any questions were asked until the very end where Obi-Wan's like, it's Anakin, isn't it? Well, he fucking knew. That's like the only thing. Yeah. um We cut to General Grievous landing on a planet.
00:47:07
Speaker
Is this in the Outer Rim or is Mustafar the Outer Rim? Mustafar is the outer rim. How you doing? So this is the inner rim. Right. okay Okay. You want me to give you like an outer rim or an inner Or an inner rim.
00:47:19
Speaker
Yeah. Right. I need you to do both. That's double. So I got to start with the outer, right? Because I got a tease and then I go the inner. Yeah, but what's funny, that's a better idea. My brain went to work from the inside out.
00:47:32
Speaker
It's like start from the inside and work your way out. But it it makes a lot more sense sexually to go from the inside the inside. You're right. But that's not something that I want. Pleasure me and then like, you know, I just want to say we're about 10 minutes into a two and a half hour movie and we've been recording for 50. It's what it is. This is how Dark Knight went to.
00:47:53
Speaker
But it does equal out because Dark Knight still ended up being like two hours and 30 minutes. Okay. All right. So we he takes a ah little hologram call from Darth Sidious, who tells him to move the Separatist leaders, a.k.a. the Boogers.
00:48:10
Speaker
They all look like fucking boogers. don't hear you tell They look like literal boogers. ah To the Mustafar system and says the war is almost over, and he's found a new apprentice who is younger. you done?
00:48:21
Speaker
More powerful. You know, those young kids got to spry yeah that spry cock on them. Right. They're like, they're ready to go. They're like dick right at sling. They're like rabbits. Yeah. Cut to Anakin Padme. Um, Anakin's just kind of going over fucking Padme. She is a piece. I get it.
00:48:39
Speaker
huh Um, and she wants to have the baby on Naboo. And the way this whole thing is delivered is very, very cringe, but it's what it is. we cut to a nightmare of Padme dying in childbirth.
00:48:50
Speaker
Um, this Anakin's nightmare. And, uh, he wakes up fucking shook. Anakin is David Dunn. What? I said Anakin is David Dunn. Was David Dunn having nightmares?
00:49:03
Speaker
He had visions.
00:49:06
Speaker
Oh, guess it is a vision, yeah. yeah um Padme tries to ask what's wrong, but he don't want to talk about it. And eventually he tells her he saw her dying in childbirth. And says he won't let it become real.
00:49:18
Speaker
And she's worried about the council finding out. About them and asked if Obi-Wan could help. And he's like, nah, fuck Obi-Wan. Fuck that guy. He already on fuck Obi-Wan. Yeah.
00:49:29
Speaker
He didn't do anything wrong. yeah Nothing. He didn't do anything wrong in the entire movie. No, the whole time. ah We cut to a therapy session with Yoda. And Anakin tells him about his visions.
00:49:41
Speaker
But he doesn't say exactly who it is. um and Yoda says a fear of loss is a path to the dark side and tells Annie to trade. Annie slipped out because i wrote Annie Obi. I did not write Anakin for the scene by scene.
00:49:54
Speaker
So, Annie came out. pa me He doesn't get called Annie. Uh-huh. So does Jar Jar Binks. Ah, Annie. Misaka Yusa. All right.
00:50:04
Speaker
Okay. right. um Yusa wants some Gungan cock? No.
00:50:15
Speaker
You know, I knew I was going to come up and he doesn't even speak in this fucking movie. No, he's just kind of in the background. Yeah. ah Yoda tells Anakin to train himself to let go.
00:50:26
Speaker
Anakin meets up with Obi-Wan and he missed some meeting, but Obi-Wan tells him that there's concern that the Chancellor will be given more executive powers. And also, he's requested Anakin's presence, which has made Obi-Wan feel uneasy. I'll fight with that fucking Hayden and Christensen dick.
00:50:43
Speaker
like, why doesn't he want me? I'm a Jedi master. We cut to Palpatine and Anakin, and Palpatine's like, I hope you trust me.
00:50:57
Speaker
And he needs Anakin's help. and he Again, so this is what bothers me about this movie, and it's fine, but Palpatine appoints Anakin to be his personal representative on the Jedi Council.
00:51:11
Speaker
Which does not mean, hey, you're a Jedi Master. It means you're my representative. I can't be there. youre You're an errand boy that I fuck on the side. You dig? Right.
00:51:23
Speaker
And Anakin's mad because we'll get there. But basically, Palpatine's grooming Anakin. You know what mean? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:51:38
Speaker
Anakin's thrilled and literally says here the council will never accept it. So the next scene makes even less sense. The next scene, is we're in the Jedi Council chambers, believe they're called.
00:51:50
Speaker
And the council kind of reluctantly approves the Anakin being appointed. And Mace Windu tells Anakin he's not a um Jedi master, but he's on the council.
00:52:01
Speaker
Um, Anakin flips his lid. Imagine flipping your lid to fucking Mace Windu, who is Samuel Jackson. You have to have some fucking balls to do that, bro. Like, you really just said that motherfucker. But, like... Um... but Right, because he gets so pissed off that he's not, uh, given the rank of master, right?
00:52:21
Speaker
But they had no choice to put you on the council. Yeah. So... They don't think you're ready. so just fucking accept it.
00:52:32
Speaker
Also, you knew they weren't going to accept it ahead of time. You already knew that. And Obi-Wan literally in the next scene like tells him, like, yo, like take this as a great honor. You're so young and you're on the council. like Stop being a little fucking pussy.
00:52:46
Speaker
Yeah, that's basically what i wrote. actually Right? um So Mace is like, bro, sit down. Relax. okay Take a seat, young Skywalker. hi Okay, it's Kid Adi Mundi is how you say it.
00:53:00
Speaker
I thought it was Mundi, but could be... Kid Adi Mundi? Kid Adi Mundi. Yeah. Little fucking conehead ass. he's Yeah, he's a coheadass ah he is ass.
00:53:12
Speaker
He reports that they cannot find Grievous, and Yoda thinks that Grievous is in the Abaddon Rim. And then Yoda announces he's going to Kashyyyk to assist the Wookiees because he has a good relationship with them because he likes that furry dick.
00:53:27
Speaker
Yeah, Yoda's getting... and then you know Oh, man. It's a real rule. What is it? Rule 23? 34? It's real rule 34 episode.
00:53:41
Speaker
um We cut to Obi-Wan and Anakin after the meeting. Anakin is still talking shit. And Obi-Wan's like, bro, relax. like Like you already said, Gerald. like He's so young and he needs to chill the fuck out.
00:53:54
Speaker
He'll get his fucking mastery drawn in time. Capitine likes young. Right. um And he also tells Anakin he's a little bit too close to the Chancellor. um And then Obi-Wan tells, I'll be honest here, it's not the best delivery.
00:54:10
Speaker
But he tries and he tells Anakin the Council wants Anakin to report on all the dealings of the Chancellor to the Council. off the record and Anakin said that's treasonous and Obi-Wan's like well we're at war so fuck it also he's been in power way too long so like this is all suspect and Anakin don't like that shit they said his terms up and he's still in there yeah his term been up apparently yeah I mean he's been in power since one the end of one or two right so fuck up out of here
00:54:45
Speaker
We cut to Mace Windu, Obi-Wan, and Yoda, and Obi-Wan's telling them that Anakin didn't take his assignment well, but Mace don't trust Anakin. And Obi-Wan asked if it's true that Anakin is the chosen one, and Yoda said the prophecy could have been misread.
00:55:04
Speaker
Again, if you've never seen this film, I don't get how you don't see where this is going. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know.
00:55:12
Speaker
We cut to Anakin and Padme and they're just sitting in some big ass living room and Padme asked if he ever wondered if they've been if they're fighting on the wrong side. And he's like, what fuck are talking about, commie?
00:55:24
Speaker
What are you fucking talking about?
00:55:28
Speaker
You fucking commie, what are you talking about? um And she basically introduces the idea that the democracy that they are fighting for doesn't exist anymore.
Padme and Anakin's Relationship Tensions
00:55:38
Speaker
And she asks Anakin to ask Palpatine to stop the fighting and go back to diplomacy. And he's like, bring that shit the fuck in the Senate. Don't fucking ask me to do that. I should get the fuck out of here.
00:55:49
Speaker
so this is... fuck Dude, this is where I really don't like this movie is because she pitches an idea to like, hey, let's end the war and use your relationship to fucking make this better. He's like, get the fuck of with that shit. What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:56:04
Speaker
He's like, oh, Annie, hold me. get What the fuck? Like, how does that make sense? yeah like every time you're fal and Every time your fucking anger management issue husband gets mad at you, he's like, hold me, baby. She's like, what the fuck?
00:56:21
Speaker
Hold me? Get the fuck away from about to force push you off this fucking balcony. What are we doing? But I just hate that sequence of events just fucking annoys me. I just hate that. I hate that so much.
00:56:33
Speaker
It kind of slows the movie down because it's like good shit, good shit. Oh, Anakin Padme bullshit. Oh, who fucking cares? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I would say it's so bad, even later in the movie when when ah it's Obi-Wan, Padme scenes, their interactions, those aren't even good.
00:56:52
Speaker
And these are two top tier very good actors. Yeah, at least those scenes, though, have like general plot like you know relevancy. Well, Padme's relationship Anakin has a lot to do with the plot. That's why he goes to the dark side, but I think my problem, my problem is, and I, I gave this movie a good rating. Don't worry about that. It's, it has a positive rating for sure.
00:57:19
Speaker
I grew up watching the movie as a kid and it's like, I would just skip around to like the fight scenes. And it's like i want to this. I want to watch where they fly. i wanna to watch for want Obi-Wan kills Grievous. I want to watch the fucking end duel scene and Yoda fight fucking palpins. Like,
00:57:33
Speaker
Then you start watching this movie as an adult, and the nostalgia of it all keeps the floor of the rating pretty high, but you start to realize a lot of the dysfunction of what doesn't work in the movie.
00:57:45
Speaker
And for me now, it like kind of detracts from like everything else. I get that like he's so scared of losing her. that you go The whole, like okay, you're afraid of losing someone you love, so you're going to the dark side, doesn't really...
00:57:59
Speaker
The whole thing doesn't really click for me. And I know what the Star Wars fans out there are going to say. Oh, you have to watch the Clone Wars animated series. The last season really pieces it all together. And I'm like, okay, I'll watch that eventually.
00:58:11
Speaker
But we're a movie podcast, not a series podcast. And like that, that show is so long. Like even if you just watch the like last season, You're still not going to get the whole i'm just not really big into shows. and it's just like the the The transition of Anakin to the dark side never really clicked for me.
00:58:30
Speaker
Ever. I tried watching Kenobi. I know it's a good show. No, it's fine. It's fine. Did you watch the whole thing? Yeah. oh I didn't watch the whole thing. the whole thing I got to like the the fire part.
00:58:45
Speaker
That was it. like When they're fighting and then like the big fire starts. I mean, the strength of that show is they really do show Darth Vader being a fucking menace.
00:58:56
Speaker
And that's good. That's what want. Like ruthless fucking menace. Because in the movies, you don't really see that. In the comics, you do. he'll fuck The movies is because they made it. The movies they made in the fucking 70s and 80s. That's why it's going to be so dark. The lore wasn't really there yet.
00:59:12
Speaker
Anyways, we'll get into more of that as it as we get here. um We cut to some fucking light show where Palpatine and Anakin are there and Palpatine tells Anakin that they've located General Grievous um and he says that Anakin's the best choice ah to take care of it.
00:59:30
Speaker
um And he tells Anakin that he, Palpatine, cannot rely on the council and that they're plotting to take control of the Senate and betray him. So another thing too is like, his whole pitch to Anakin is like the, the Jedis are plotting against me.
00:59:46
Speaker
Yeah. But never once in Anakin's brain, he's like, well, you've been in power way too long. And that's suspect. He's just like, yeah. Yeah. Like his mind is obviously flawed. Cause he's a villain. So it's, it's flawed thinking, but like, it doesn't make any sense.
01:00:01
Speaker
Well, only one leaves to go fight Grievous. And then he comes back and Anakin's bad. Like what the fuck happened while i was gone? Yeah. Yoda falls into that, like Dumbledore, thing of like you're supposed to be like the fucking greatest ever why don't you fucking know this shit like why do you not know fucking Palpatine was a Sith Lord why did take three movies figure that out right can't they sense source like force power right I don't get it I read online it's like he was like force blocking it he's like fucking whatever i mean later in the movie he fucking pulls this lightsaber of his fucking sleeve it was all right there the whole fucking time you didn't fucking know yeah
01:00:39
Speaker
This lightsaber was up my ass.
01:00:43
Speaker
My lightsaber is actually my cock and it's like, you know, mike as a child, my cock got cut off so I replaced it with a lightsaber.
01:00:55
Speaker
um Anakin admits to Palpatine his trust has been shaken in the Jedi Council because they asked him to spy on Palpatine. Palpatine tells Anakin the Sith and Jedi are very similar and we learn the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise.
01:01:10
Speaker
Um, ah essentially the dude fucking allegedly was able to influence midichlorins, which are things in Jedi, like cells inside people who have force sensitivities, um, to influence life and he could prevent loved ones from dying.
01:01:27
Speaker
and he taught his apprentice everything he knew, but then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Who's his apprentice? Spoiler alert.
01:01:37
Speaker
Um, Anakin asks it's powerful, If it's possible to learn this power and you get the iconic iconic line from ah Palpatine of not from a Jedi.
01:01:51
Speaker
We cut to Kashyyyk and Yoda's listening in on a council meeting.
01:01:57
Speaker
Anakin shares that they have located Grievous and Anakin tells the council, the chancellor suggested that he go lead the campaign. Um, and Yero's like, we need some of fucking experience, buddy.
01:02:09
Speaker
So we're going to send Obi-Wan. Yeah, Kiara and Mundi's like, General Kenobi would be a good idea. Uh, we see the Kashyyyk battle start.
01:02:20
Speaker
Uh, we cut to Anakin escorting Obi-Wan to his flight. Um, hey, yo, I gotta catch this flight, bro. And essentially Anakin apologizes to Obi-Wan for being a little shit.
01:02:34
Speaker
And Obi-Wan tells him just be patient and you'll get your master rank soon enough. That's definitely a fake apology. On Anakin's part for sure. Yeah. Next scene is Obi-Wan planning out the attack with Commander Cody. Essentially he's going to go in first. They're going to follow after.
01:02:52
Speaker
We cut to Anakin who's having more more visions when Padme walks in. And he's like Obi-Wan was here. Wasn't he? You think that's what that was the deal with the fucker? like, Obi-Wan was here, wasn't he?
01:03:03
Speaker
He was up in this shit. I want to fucking know. yeah ain't no way that How the fuck does Anakin think that Obi-Wan's trying to fuck Padme? He's so fucking blinded, dude. and No, I'm not... I'm just making a joke. I didn't mean it like that.
01:03:16
Speaker
Oh, I... I do. I think that's what he meant.
01:03:22
Speaker
I think that... I think it just leaves... It supports the narrative of like the... Obi-Wan turned Padme against him thing. That like paranoia. Not like he's trying to fuck her.
01:03:34
Speaker
Maybe he was. But I'm saying if you're a Jedi would have fucked a girl which you wouldn't do because you're a Jedi. You probably could use the force and figure out who's been there. Oh like I sense Anakin.
01:03:46
Speaker
I smell young penis. e
01:03:51
Speaker
I smell cum stains around here.
01:03:55
Speaker
Cum has a scent. I'm just saying. Of course. Obi-Wan told Padme that he's worried about Anakin because he's been under a lot of stress.
01:04:05
Speaker
And Anakin says that Obi-Wan and the council don't trust him and says he he wants more, but he shouldn't. um And then he tells Padme he found a way to save her, which you sound like a fucking Looney Tune, buddy. Yeah.
01:04:20
Speaker
This is like, like but basically, if you have a lot of anxiety, you aren't on med you're going to go to the dark side and kill little kids. That's going to happen. Right. All Anakin needed was a fucking therapist.
01:04:30
Speaker
Yeah. And some fucking medicine to control anxiety. and And you're good. This man has some a high anxiety, bro. Right. Like, hey, man, if this Jedi thing isn't for you, that's cool. You can go live a normal life.
01:04:42
Speaker
Yeah.
Obi-Wan's Mission and Encounter with Grievous
01:04:43
Speaker
Fuck bitches. Make money. Right. You become a fucking like a NASCAR driver or something. You're good at pod racing. know what mean? Yeah. Yeah. Um, Obi-Wan arrives to this planet, uh, which is probably the inner rim. It's like, you, um, you, you, you, utopia, something like that.
01:05:05
Speaker
Utopia? Zootopia, fucking animals. don't know.
01:05:10
Speaker
Okay. Um, and the people who come out to meet him, similar being held hostage and the 10th levels where there's hundreds of thousands of battle droids.
01:05:21
Speaker
Um, Obi-Wan gets on one of these dragon jaunts, lizard dragon. don't know what this fucking thing is. It's a lizard jaunt for sure. And he he drops in on Grievous, who is telling Separatists they're being sent to the Mustafar system, and you get the iconic... Hello there. He he jumps. Um...
01:05:44
Speaker
um
01:05:47
Speaker
At first, he sends those purple jawn droids at them, and Obi drops a fucking, like, vent on them, and then he decides he's gonna fight Obi-Wan one-on-one, mano y mano, or mano y cuatro manos, because that motherfucker has four hands.
01:06:04
Speaker
Um, we find out that Grievous was trained Talk about fucking circle jerk, dude. ah God damn. We find out that, uh... Grievous was trained by Dooku, um...
01:06:18
Speaker
And they go and they start fighting, but Obi-Wan cuts off two of his hands. And then, uh, as they're fighting clones arrive, um, and Obi-Wan force pushes Grievous into a fucking, a wall. Uh, and then he kind of falls and get, takes off this like fucking big wheel jaw.
01:06:38
Speaker
It's like a fucking tie. He's like driving a tire. That also has, that also has the legs. um Obi-Wan pursues on that lizard jaw and he drops his lightsaber pretty far. ah shit like If that should have fell and hit you in the head, you'd be knocked out.
01:06:56
Speaker
It should have shattered, right? Shoulda, coulda, woulda. But ah Commander Cody picks it up, so it's aight. Yeah, he's got his saber in his hand. We cut to a meeting where...
01:07:11
Speaker
Kidade... Fuck, I can't say goddamn name. It says Kid Aid Mundi. I don't know what the fuck I wrote.
01:07:20
Speaker
That fucking kid ah shares that Obi-Wan has made contact with General Grievous. Literally. He fucking touched him, dude. Yeah.
Palpatine's Influence on Anakin
01:07:30
Speaker
yeah and Mace Windu tells him to share the news with the Chancellor. um Mundi says if Palpatine does not give a power after Grievous is destroyed, he'll have to be forcefully removed.
01:07:42
Speaker
um
01:07:45
Speaker
They send Anakin to tell Palpatine the news, by the way. I forgot to say that. Because they're like, see how he reacts. um don't know if you caught this, but Anakin walks in and Palpatine literally looking at Death Star plans.
01:07:57
Speaker
no i did The screen that he minimizes is like fucking Death Star plans. yeah That's fucking wild. Yeah. um I've seen this movie how many fucking times and I never peeped that. Yeah.
01:08:08
Speaker
ah Palpatine kind of eggs Anakin on about like, isn't it bullshit that didn't send you to go kill Grievous? um And then Anakin says that he knows we're not showing him shit.
01:08:21
Speaker
And Palpatine tells Anakin he knows the ways of the Force from his mentor. And he learned both sides. um I can fuck a pussy and suck a dick, you know what I'm saying?
01:08:33
Speaker
And I know what the next part is, but I wrote, pitches the dark side of the Force to save the Force. It's to save Padme, not to save the Force. Right. The Force will be, know, there.
01:08:47
Speaker
And it's like all this, like fucking Palpatine is telling you that he knows the dark side of the Force. And then finally, Anakin's like, oh, you're the Sith Lord? Like, yeah, you fucking idiot.
01:08:58
Speaker
He's the fucking Sith Lord. Um, so Anakin fucking draws his lightsaber and, uh, Palpatine asks he's going to kill him. And he's like, I would like to. And you get that iconic, I can feel your anger.
01:09:12
Speaker
That fucking line. Um, Anakin says he's going to turn over the Jedi council and Palpatine like on his way out is like, you can save Padme. And Anakin's like, but what danger is Padme in bro? She ain't.
01:09:29
Speaker
No, yeah he's literally seeing the future of what he did to her. That's what it is.
01:09:37
Speaker
um We cut back to Obi-Wan pursuing Grievous and he hops on Grievous' big wheel.
01:09:46
Speaker
um He does. He hops right on that shit. People are riding Grievous, bro. Yeah, he's riding Grievous' big wheel um and they kind of have a tussle and they fall land on this platform.
01:09:57
Speaker
And they fight, and Obi-Wan slowly starts to open... Obi-Wan literally tries to fucking throwing hands with him. Like, what do you but think's gonna happen? He starts to open the plates, like Grievous' chest plate, to expose his internal organs.
01:10:13
Speaker
whatever It's like a sack of liquid, but... I think it's his heart, right? ah Yeah. He tries to crick kick Grievous, but Grievous is literally a fucking droid. So he breaks his shit.
01:10:25
Speaker
He's like, oh! So he throws Obi-Wan and he's like hanging from a from a fucking edge. And he force pulls a gun and shoots Grievous in his fucking chest.
01:10:37
Speaker
And Grievous is dead just like that.
Anakin's Betrayal and Mace Windu's Confrontation
01:10:41
Speaker
go on it He got bitched out. I mean, flames come shooting out of his fucking eyes. It's pretty dramatic. And like Obi-Wan throws the gun and you get the ah the iconic so uncivilized.
01:10:53
Speaker
Right. We cut to Anakin, who reports to Mace Windu that Palpatine is, in fact, the Sith Lord. um And he's like, look, bro, you're going to need my help arresting this guy.
01:11:05
Speaker
And he's like he's like, no, we're not. I'm fucking good, dude. You know what this reminded me of? do you remember in Incredibles 1? What's his name? Syndrome? Oh, what do you like? What he's like? Cause he's like, yeah, he's like, you're going to need my help. Mr. Incredible. He's like, no, I'm not. I'm good. good Just no good. load Right. Yeah.
01:11:26
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Bill's an origin story right there, dude. ah George Lucas stole the idea from Incredibles. Possibly. um And Mace literally is like, you're a confused little boy. i Sit down. That's basically what happens. yeah um And Mace also says if Anakin's right, he'll have gained his trust.
01:11:49
Speaker
And Mace tells Anakin to wait in the council's chambers until we return. We cut and see there's a little staring contest. Anakin Padme both a different rooms and they both look like they're going to Fucking pussies.
01:12:02
Speaker
um Anakin starts hearing Palpatine's voice in his head. I did not pull Randy Orton voices. Sorry. It's okay. You can probably tell me the names of these Jedi's that show up, but it's Mace, Windu, Kit Fisto, and the other two, I don't know their names.
01:12:16
Speaker
Yeah, don't know the other two. I knew Kit Fisto. Shout out to Kit Fisto. They show up to arrest Palpatine and you also get another fucking iconic line.
01:12:29
Speaker
ah Are you threatening me, Master Jedi? Now, this is also something that I find so funny in Star Wars in general, and it happens towards the end of the movie. The Sith and the Jedi like hate each other so much, you know what mean?
01:12:43
Speaker
but they still have enough respect to be like master jedi yeah it's like what using proper terminology like like bro i don't fucking like you sup mace i'm calling you master jedi like
01:13:00
Speaker
Yeah. what What does that mean? that Okay. And then ah Mace says that they'll bring him in front of the Senate and he goes, am the Senate, which is also another iconic line.
01:13:12
Speaker
um And then a lightsaber fight ensues and Palpatine kills four of these motherfuckers off the rip. They're dead. I like that, right? These are Jedi masters and he just... from from And like Kit Fisto gets all like a smidge...
01:13:26
Speaker
of all it sucks because how much money do they put into that costume design to kill him in like 30 seconds right like a lot of the costumes are like practical effects which are good yes but and then he just dies immediately fucking it bitched out that sucks dude yeah keep it for the order six order 66 scene i don't know yeah exactly like he's a well-known guy We get Mace versus Palpatine um and they have a duel and they have a... They shatter this window, this big-ass window, and Mace kicks Palpatine into a corner.
01:14:01
Speaker
When Anakin pulls up, He's like, nobody puts baby in a corner.
01:14:08
Speaker
um And initially it looks like Mace Windu is going to arrest him. But Mace Windu says that he's too dangerous ah to be kept alive. And Palpatine is telling Anakin, look, the Jedi are taking over. I was fucking right.
01:14:21
Speaker
but The Jedi are taking over. But literally, you're a Sith Lord. So... Like, Anakin knows this. Yeah, the Jedi are taking over because you're a fucking Sith Lord.
01:14:32
Speaker
Right. We're trying to make it so you don't corrupt the galaxy. So where things go south is that Mace wants to kill his moth, and Anakin's not for it.
01:14:44
Speaker
He's like, no, he needs a trial. That's literally what he says. He needs to stand trial. Mace goes to swing on him and Anakin chops off Mace Windu's hand and Palpatine electrocutes him off the fucking edge.
01:14:57
Speaker
I forgot to mention, uh, when Mace has him fucking in the corner, he tries to fucking electrocute Mace, but he counters it with the lightsaber. And then it's going back on fucking Palpatine and Palpatine's like, I can't hold it any longer. Like, bro, you're doing this to yourself.
01:15:14
Speaker
Right. you could just And Anakin's buying this. He's just eating it up. Nom, nom, nom. Like that. He's fucking eating it. He's fucking edging himself. Oh, I can't hold it. ah Oh. We see Anakin become Palpatine's apprentice.
01:15:28
Speaker
Again, I don't love this. I don't think it's great. Like, out of nowhere. He's like heallers like, what have I done? And then, like, within five seconds, it's like. I'll do whatever you say. Yeah. Let me suck your cock. I'll suck your cock.
01:15:41
Speaker
I'll suck your electrocuted cock. oh yeah Give me a cool name. Come Come on. Come on. Come on. Come walk walk Give me a cool name. Let me see that birch branch. Because it's fucking charred all white.
01:15:56
Speaker
yeah that birch branch. It's fucking keep crazy. um
01:16:03
Speaker
Show me your shriveled sausage. this is also the other issue with this scene. Um, Palpatine's like, yeah, so that whole thing I said before about bringing loved ones back from the dead, it's only been done once and I don't know how to do it, but I'm sure the two of us can figure it out together.
01:16:20
Speaker
He says that here. And Anakin still falls for it. Yeah. And Anakin's still like, Oh, you're Darth Vader now. We see Yoda who senses a disturbance. We cut to Palpatine who's like when they find out what we've done, they're go to kill us, which obviously they're going to kill you. You're a Sith Lord.
01:16:38
Speaker
um You killed Mace Windu? And he tells us that the Jedi Council is against the Senate.
Order 66 and its Aftermath
01:16:46
Speaker
um Palpatine says all Jedi must die and sends Anakin to the Jedi Temple and to show no mercy.
01:16:54
Speaker
Then go to the Mustafar system and kill Viceroy, Booger Boy, and the Separatists. um We get a scene with Anakin marching to the temple. Again, music here just fucking killer. Fucking amazing. the The way it's shot, I know it's a like all CGI, but it looks... Doesn't look bad.
01:17:13
Speaker
No, it looks great for 2005. Really good. Yeah, like I just watched the movie from 2012. Didn't look great. um Cut to Obi-Wan. He's getting his slight tear back from Commander Cody.
01:17:27
Speaker
um And he goes off on that lizard jaw when Commander Cody receives word to execute order 66. Basically, or I don't like Anakin's transition, but from Cody receiving x execute order 66 to the end of the film, it's like almost a perfect movie.
01:17:44
Speaker
I agree 100% with Yeah. um When he receives that order, ah they shoot Obi-Wan the Lizard John off this cliff and they fall into some water. um And you see Order 66 executed across the galaxy.
01:17:59
Speaker
ah You've got that kid-eye conehead, John. um You've got that blued that blue bitch, Ayla Secura. Shout out you and your long thang. I'm pulling him.
01:18:13
Speaker
She's got those fucking milkers on her too, dude. She's fucking ready, dude. I want to fucking wrap myself in your fucking long tubes, bro.
01:18:23
Speaker
You some long tubes. Are those her fallopian tubes or on the outside? yeah she got external fallopian tubes and I'm trying to suck them. I'm trying to tie myself in like a seatbelt.
01:18:35
Speaker
Strap in, strap on, baby. me. like beats
01:18:41
Speaker
i want you to I want you to tether me to you like a fucking buddy system. What are your fucking blue tentacles? Yo, those drones got some suction cups on them?
01:18:52
Speaker
Or what?
01:18:58
Speaker
Yo, what's her name? Ayla Secura. Ayla Secura Jedi. Oh, yeah. Fucking good.
01:19:09
Speaker
Give me some of that. Big, big folder.
01:19:15
Speaker
You're right, though, dog. She does got some fucking milkers on her. hell would you dude They're fucking popping out, too. These Johns are not... Revenge of the Sith.
01:19:27
Speaker
Yeah, they're longer in the movie than the fucking animated shit. Oh, yeah. wearing that crop top tank top? me fucking get in here. George knew. George fucking knew what he was doing.
01:19:40
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I want you to fucking tie me up. All right.
01:19:46
Speaker
So, she dies. And, uh... R.I.P. You were hot. um We see Yoda who drops his cane because he's so distraught.
01:19:57
Speaker
We see another Jedi. I used to know this guy. His name is Monis. I don't know it anymore. Oh, the one in the ship? Yeah, he gets shot of a ship. That's Plo Koon. Plo Koon! ah And then there's that Racer John...
01:20:09
Speaker
looking one that gets shot. i don't know who the fuck that one was. Yeah, I don't know. Score of fucking rips here, too. Very, very, like, somber music. ah Some troopers try to kill Yoda, but he just does, like, a spinny flip thing and decapitates them.
01:20:23
Speaker
Bye. Next scene, we watch Anakin and some clone troopers murder children.
01:20:30
Speaker
Next scene... Master Skywalker, what are we going to do? What are we going to do? me. I'll rape you. Anakin's like, you're not going to kill me. ah I'm going to kill you.
01:20:43
Speaker
We finally get some C-3PO. And he tells Padme that Anakin checked into the Jedi Temple. Organa shows up to the temple. And the clones are like, there's been a resurrecction resurrection? Not Jesus.
01:20:56
Speaker
um Insurrection. And you need to leave. When a youngling comes running out, he's like a fucking teenager. He starts swinging on these goddamn clones and they kill him. He's doing a good job. I was like, what the fuck?
01:21:07
Speaker
Huh? He was doing a good job though. Yeah. mean, he's a kid though. You know, he ain't Obi-Wan. Uh, next scene we see Obi-Wan swim out of the water and then we cut to Chewbacca and I believe his name was Tarfur.
01:21:20
Speaker
There you go. Yeah. Which, uh, if you spell that and sound it out, it's Tarfur, which is not okay. Um, Oh, like, oh wow. Yep. Yeah. Bad. Yeah.
01:21:30
Speaker
Um, they send Yoda off. We cut to Organa, who is working on sending out an SOS message. ah We cut to some clones discussing if anybody found Obi-Wan's body. But hey, no one could have survived that fall, right?
01:21:43
Speaker
And then live on for three more movies? No one could have done that. um Not three more. He dies the next one. He dies at a new hope. Yeah, but... We cut to Anakin reuniting with Padme and tells of the Jedi are trying to overthrow the Republic and says his loyalties lie with the Senate and Palpatine.
01:22:02
Speaker
Um, and Padme is very worried. He's like, huh, have faith girl. You fine. I'm out. Catch out a flip. Like this is not something a normal, my normal guy does. Uh, Obi-Wan arrives in Organa ship and this ship is like the same John from a new hope.
01:22:18
Speaker
Um, and Yoda says there's a fake SOS message out there saying for all J to retreat to the temple, which it's a trap. I don't have that button right now. Uh, um, You want to hear something fucking like that makes me so fucking stupid?
01:22:35
Speaker
That makes you dumb? Yeah, let's go. Yeah. So I'm just going to say it now because I just thought of it. But Senator Organa, right? Yeah. Adopts Leia.
01:22:47
Speaker
Yeah. And that's why her name is Leia Organa. Yeah, you are pretty fucking retarded for that one. I mean, you just put that the together right now.
01:22:58
Speaker
27 years later, huh? Yeah. I mean, hey, I'm happy you're here with us in the present. Welcome. If you have any other questions, I'm sure they're fucking Star Wars and nerds out there will answer you. I'm just making jokes. Don't get offended.
01:23:10
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, it's okay because we we like... We were Star Wars nerds. Yeah, we like At one point. Yeah. This movie's good. going give it a good rating. Don't worry. Yeah, yeah.
Yoda, Obi-Wan, and the Jedi Temple
01:23:21
Speaker
Obi-Wan suggests going to the temple to turn the false SOS message off. And Yoda's like, hmm, that's a good idea. Like, you no fucking shit. Come on, Yoda. You're like the strongest Jedi ever. What are Yeah, so they end this ship going to Coruscant, and they get a message from the Chancellor's office, because it's that blue guy.
01:23:39
Speaker
i would not fuck him, but... Oh, no, he got them fucking horns on him, though. It's like Alia fucking Sakura's fucking brother. You do got the horns on him. um And the Chancellor requests Organa's presence in the Senate.
01:23:52
Speaker
It's kind funny, though, because he calls, and everybody's like... It's like a prank call. They're like, shh, don't talk, don't talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. just yeah We're not here. not at Is there a Jedi in this ship? Where? I don't see any. um We cut to Mustafar and see Anakin slaughter all those fucking booger boys.
01:24:10
Speaker
And his eyes are fucking yellow now, dude. He got Sith eyes. Yeah, he does. Hungry eyes. Hey, the next scene the next scene is ah one of my favorite scenes in all of Star Wars.
01:24:23
Speaker
I love this scene so much. um It's Yoda and Obi-Wan. It's not fucking long enough, be honest. Obi-Wan and Yoda going ham in front of this temple. Just fucking, it's like 20 on one.
01:24:35
Speaker
It is. Yeah. Yoda fucking throws his saber through a guy's chest. And like jumps on him, pulls it out. Yeah. I mean, that shit's sick. I fucking love this scene so much. And know most of it's CGI, but it looks fucking good.
01:24:47
Speaker
Right. We cut to a Senate hearing session, whatever, where Palpatine saying they're going to murder all the Jedi. And there's a big round of applause for it. The attack on my life has left me scarred.
01:25:01
Speaker
Deformed. What did you say? Deformed or scarred? It's like one of the two. Yeah, I think it's deformed. Whatever. um Yoda and Obi-Wan find some younglings that were murdered by lightsaber.
01:25:14
Speaker
um Cut back to the Senate and Palpatine announces the formation of the very first Galactic Empire. which gets a huge round of applause. And this is a quote that people have started saying today, which is scary.
01:25:27
Speaker
um So this is how Liberty died with thunderous applause. We're not political here, but they're trying to parallel that to Donald Trump. I mean, moving on a cut to Obi-Wan who's corrected the SOS message.
01:25:41
Speaker
And Yoda says it will take a while to correct fully, like for people out in the wild. Yeah.
01:25:49
Speaker
um Obi-Wan just has to know who murdered the younglings. And Yoda's like, don't fucking do that. Because Yoda knows. like Obviously, Obi-Wan's not smart enough to like realize. He's a smart boy. He's just not smart enough.
01:26:02
Speaker
Yoda's like, ah dude. like i know You're going to find pain, dude. You might be a little slow, Obi-Wan. But I know um yeah ain't going to want to look at that.
01:26:14
Speaker
But again, Obi-Wan's defense, right? When he left, Anakin was like, hey, man, I'm real sorry. I was being a little shit. And Obi-Wan's like, I taught you everything I know. I love you.
01:26:25
Speaker
You'll be a master soon. And like, okay, bye, babe. And then that's it.
Padme's Confrontation with Obi-Wan
01:26:28
Speaker
Then he comes back to find out Anakin's murdering little kids. Yeah, but who else is Obi-Wan thinking it's going to be?
01:26:36
Speaker
else is strong enough? Okay, murdering kids is not that hard. I could fuck up kids.
01:26:44
Speaker
That's fucked up to say, but like killing kids with an army behind you ain't that hard. That's true. Like what like why, like do you think Palpatine sent him to do it? Because Palpatine don't got time for that.
01:26:55
Speaker
But what other Jedi is like sus?
01:27:00
Speaker
Right. And that's fair. You're right. Right. Like, but like again, Obi-Wan is like, he's my brother. He's, I've seen he's a little boy. Yeah, but he know, he even said like, what if the prophecy's wrong?
01:27:13
Speaker
Well, Obi-Wan's like, it's right, isn't it? And then they're like, oh, it could be wrong. He's like, no. He questioned it. He's like, it's right. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. yeah Yeah. I'm just saying he's like, he came back and he's like, what have you done to my boy?
01:27:30
Speaker
um my boy. all right. um So, yeah, we find out, Obi-Wan finds out now that it was Anakin who fucking did it. um and Obi-Wan says, let me go kill the fucking Emperor. You can kill Anakin. I'm not doing it. And Yoda's like, sit down, little boy.
01:27:48
Speaker
Emperor is no joke. You can't fight him. You're great, but no. cause well know you on Hey, there's levels to this. I can fucking cup electricity in my hands, which means Yoda could catch your load.
01:28:02
Speaker
That's what's up. I mean, he's small enough, right? And then he can send it back to you. He can fucking reverse it. Talk about cum swap. He's like, people are going to be so confused. People are going to be so confused until they hear the last episode. So confused.
01:28:15
Speaker
It's fine. um So Obi-Wan goes to Padme because he was telling Yoda, where am I going to find him? He's like, fucking use your brain. no But Yoda, you fucking know where he is, Yoda. Come on.
01:28:28
Speaker
Also, Yoda definitely knows that, like, Anakin and Padme are fucking. Yeah, everybody knows. Everybody knows, but they're they're like, ah that's like old shit. Like, we don't really care, right?
01:28:40
Speaker
Yeah, it's like when you have a guy at work who's an alcoholic and everybody knows and no one says anything about it.
01:28:47
Speaker
It's like, yeah, that's Tommy. He drinks. We know. Yeah, he's fucking drunk right now. It's all right, though. Yeah, he smells like alcohol. It's what it is. It is what it is, cuz. But, like... Yeah. So what if you're fucking, like, banging this bitch? Like, yeah, it's against Jedi Code, but... Yeah. Eh, get it, bro. Well, that's another thing, too, right? It's like, yeah, that's the GM. He's fucking a food runner. We know, but we're not gonna say anything about it.
01:29:08
Speaker
Right. Like, he ain't hurting anybody. Don't change your name in the system. Right. It ain't really that big of a deal. Yeah, he's fucking a ghost. He's not fucking a real person. Okay. Okay.
01:29:20
Speaker
I don't know how I got there, but it's okay. um So, Obi-Wan begs Padme for where Anakin's at, and she don't want to tell him, but Obi-Wan's like, bitch, don't make me tell you what he's been doing.
01:29:33
Speaker
And she's like, no. He goes, all right, listen, he's been killing little kids. like and Like, crazy. I see you're pregnant right now, right? Like, that could have been your kid. Yeah. Dead.
01:29:44
Speaker
I know Annie's nut is in you. I've tasted his nut. That's...
01:29:51
Speaker
Yeah. Yo, episode one... I how sweet it is. Yeah. Fucking wild, bro. I had to make sure he had that Jedi cum in him. You know what I mean? Yeah. I helped Anakin meditate so he wouldn't cum early. I helped him with that.
01:30:01
Speaker
Yeah. Me and Qui-Gon fucking double teamed your boy, all right?
01:30:07
Speaker
We also double teamed Annie's dead mom's corpse. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, we were out here. fucking, we cosplayed as Tusken Raiders. We're actually the ones that there.
01:30:17
Speaker
We're the pillagers. Yeah.
01:30:23
Speaker
Yeah. We pillaged your mom's pussy and we pillaged Anakin's ball. Sex went a little wild. She died. We had to cover it up somehow.
01:30:33
Speaker
She likes, she said she liked being choked. We went a little too far.
01:30:41
Speaker
Hey, the safe force, may the force be with you. We thought she was going along with it.
01:30:48
Speaker
We thought she was into it. We knew that no one liked the sand people. But we realized it's hard to talk when you're getting choked out. so Yeah, right. Right. But it's alright.
01:30:59
Speaker
and We thought she was just being a sound a so a sand person.
01:31:06
Speaker
We thought she was just imitating a sand person. Oh,
01:31:12
Speaker
We're killing her.
01:31:18
Speaker
So she died. oh Oh, yeah. Do something. Yeah. And I didn't learn the mid-chlorian trick from Palpatine's friend. Sorry. Yeah. I ain't evil. It's not my fault Palpatine killed him. Right.
01:31:30
Speaker
I ain't evil. don't know that shit. Yeah. i I just fucked a corpse. don't know what you want. Well, I'm a Sith now because I fucked a dead body. so what? I bet loads of people do it. i don't know. Where do you think we learned it from? Yoda? Yeah. yeah you fucking no no Yoda's fucking animals. He ain't fucking dead bodies.
01:31:50
Speaker
You think so? He's not fucking yeah humans? He's fucking animals? I think Yoda's... I mean, maybe not one through three, but once he's on Dagobah, he's fucking animals. Oh, he's gotta be, right? He's fucking animals. mean, one nice fucking hole in a tree, he's going in.
01:32:05
Speaker
yeah ah so One succulent looking tree One fucking peach that's just built the right way you know i mean Bark makes me cum it does That's fucking all it takes dude He's fucking out There's that one other bitch in Phantom Menace right She's on the council She's chilling with him Not with the blue tubes right No there's an other the other Yoda The female Yoda yeah yeah Because it's her, him and Grogu so we yeah By the way is Grogu confirmed son of Yoda or what i don't I didn't watch season three.
01:32:39
Speaker
Let us know. i march I only watched season one. yeah ah Two is great, though. Especially the last episode.
01:32:47
Speaker
You find out who's training Grogu. Do you know who it is?
01:32:53
Speaker
Luke. Yeah. W. Alright. Um... So eventually Obi-Wan tells her that whole thing we just said. And then.
01:33:05
Speaker
Word for word, actually. And then she's like, are you going to kill him? And he's like, come on, dude. I got to do got to do. It's work. Yeah. It's like work. um Yeah. And Obi-Wan's like, so Anakin's the dad, isn't he?
01:33:17
Speaker
And she just looks at him and he walks away. And I'm like, yeah, sorry. He says. ah Yeah. She's like. Anakin's the father, isn't he? And then Padme's like... And then he walks and he's like, I'm sorry for you.
01:33:27
Speaker
Yeah. That's crazy. I'm sorry he's the father your children. I'm so sorry. um We cut. Palpatine tells Anakin to tell the Trade Federation stop making droids when Anakin sees Padme landing on Mustafar.
01:33:43
Speaker
Also, I had a question about that. We're not loading into that ship. Obi-Wan goes into a little fucking Harry Potter closet and he forced closed the door. Is he just sitting there squatted the whole time? He's not even in a chair. He's squatting.
01:33:55
Speaker
And like that, right. His legs are probably like falling asleep. Like they should have, they should have, they should have filmed him coming out of that fucking little thing afterwards. He's just like, Oh fuck.
01:34:08
Speaker
He's trying to get like, FUCK! SHIT! My fucking back! Yo, he comes down the ramp like, give me a fucking minute, alright? My back is, my knees are killing me um ah I'm a little older, I'm getting older, bro. I'm always fucking crunching this goddamn closet.
01:34:24
Speaker
hu I need a minute. Freak out here. you know let me get yeah let me ah Let me fucking stretch real quick before you fucking do all this bullshit with me. Pop a couple Tylenol. You know mean? Like, yeah, it'd be funny if they just showed him fucking getting Oh, fuck my knees.
Obi-Wan vs. Anakin: The Epic Duel
01:34:40
Speaker
because He fucking hits fucking hits his head in the top. Oh, fuck. he ah the They're in the outer rim. You know, that's not yeah a close. No, he was sitting there crouched the whole time. Right, like light years away.
01:34:52
Speaker
Yeah, meditation can't help that. Not to infinity and beyond. know what I mean? ah Padman wants what the fuck's going on. And he's like, Obi-Wan told me he killed a youngling, which he did not deny.
01:35:05
Speaker
And he says that Obi-Wan is trying to turn her against him. You turned her against me. That's not yet. ah fuck. But yes. And he tells her that he got new powers to protect him. And he asked him to run away with her.
01:35:20
Speaker
And Anakin pitches. Literally, he's like, look, I'm already stronger than Palpatine, so I'm gonna overthrow him, and then you and I can just rule the whole galaxy together. And Padme's like, what the fuck are you talking about?
01:35:31
Speaker
Like, you're insane. And he's like, oh, it's fucking Obi-Wan, huh? And then Obi-Wan's standing outside. He's like, icing his knees down. Yeah, you have to know what you said.
01:35:45
Speaker
you got the icy hot, Padme? Yo. Hey, look at that icy hot real quick. um Anakin starts choking out Padme. How done? um And then Anakin's... Obi-Wan's like, put her down. And Anakin starts talking about his new empire.
01:36:01
Speaker
And Obi-Wan's like, empire? Like, bro, we're for democracy here. Your new empire...
01:36:08
Speaker
My allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy. That's like a big line, I feel like. And this starts one of the most epic duels on screen ever um in life.
01:36:20
Speaker
On film. Star Wars, like any film, like... And if you've seen this movie, I encourage you to at least check out. I mean, it's all over TikTok now, but the behind the scenes of the choreography for this and the amount of work that Ewan McGregor and Christian Hadenson put into this is crazy.
01:36:36
Speaker
Christian Hadenson, huh? Not Hayden Christensen. Did I just say that? Yeah, you did. I'm a fucking retard, ladies and gentlemen. It's all right. There's no ladies listening to this, gentlemen.
01:36:47
Speaker
But yeah, they did their own stunts. And my slut cousin. I'm just kidding. They were in their younger years. Hello, podcast dudes. Okay, she's never going to listen to this, so it's fine. Why would she not listen? She listens to every episode, doesn't she?
01:36:59
Speaker
She's pretty behind. Sup, slut?
01:37:05
Speaker
it's Talk about somebody's knees hurting. Her knees are definitely fucking hurting. Oh, is she old? Yeah, but I was making a sucking dick so
01:37:19
Speaker
reference. Oh. You know what is a problem? Is that her daughter, my cousin Julia, shout out to you, does listen to every episode, so her daughter will for sure hear this. Oh, God. How old's her daughter? I think she's 16.
01:37:31
Speaker
So, yeah. So, Yoda confronts the Emperor in his office and he knocks out two of the guards like with a wave of his hand. That always was fucking so satisfying for me to watch. um Palp zaps Yoda with the fucking jazz hands.
01:37:46
Speaker
Yes. We cut back and see Obi-Wan
Palpatine vs. Yoda: The Duel of Masters
01:37:50
Speaker
and Anakin going at it. i don't what tell you. Just fucking watch it. It's amazing. They're on a fucking. So, Mustafar is a lava planet. They're on a fucking lava plant going at it. I mean, doing like it's a mining. It looks like a mining corporation.
01:38:02
Speaker
Right. Something like that. I have no idea. Honestly.
01:38:11
Speaker
Cut back to Palp who tells Yoda he's been waiting a very long time for this. My little green friend. who um Yoda gets up and force pushes Palpatine over his fucking desk.
01:38:23
Speaker
Um, and then Palp tries to escape and Yoda, Yoda wants to smoke. He's like, you're so fucking big and powerful. Fight me. Let's go. A little green dude. Come on. You know who the fuck I am. So they start dueling. Uh, we cut back to Anakin was choking out Obi-Wan.
01:38:37
Speaker
yeah Um, but Obi-Wan's able to get it. They continue fighting. Uh, we see Palpatine and Yoda going at it. Uh, And the, in the Senate and the fucking jaw that he speaks from like raises up from the center.
01:38:53
Speaker
Yeah. And they got like fucking discs. Right. Uh, Obi-Wan and Anakin lock, lock sabers. Then they both pull a force push at the same time.
01:39:06
Speaker
Um, and it just kind of like cancels out and they go flying. Uh, and one of them hits the switch for the shields against the lava, which turns off the shields.
01:39:17
Speaker
Uh, and this is when the, one of the most iconic songs in all Star Wars, Duel of the Fates kicks in. Yes. Pretty heavy. I did note it because I was like, when does it actually turn on? I knew it happens.
01:39:28
Speaker
Right. Uh, Palpatine, we see throwing fucking Senate platform drawings at Yoda. Uh, one of them, he is able to reverse and send it back at Palpatine. Um, Palpatine throws some fucking electric hands at Yoda, but he's able to, uh, ball it up in his hands.
01:39:47
Speaker
And then it kind of implodes and it they both go flying in either direction. Yoda falls to the bottom of this fucking Senate.
Anakin's Defeat and Transformation
01:39:54
Speaker
um Cut to Anakin when we're fighting over on some pipes over lava.
01:39:59
Speaker
hey ah We cut back and see Yoda. I mean, these fight this fight is long. It's like a 40 minute fight almost. Right. It's yeah. It's just hard for me to say anything because it's just they're fighting.
01:40:09
Speaker
They're doing a lightsaber duel. You got to watch it. You got to watch it. Yoda radios to Organa and Organa picks him up. He drops out of the bottom of this fucking Senate thing into Organa's vehicle and tells Organa he's going into exile.
01:40:23
Speaker
Palp orders for, Palp is what I wrote in my thing. So it's Palpatine, but I'd calling Palp, Smoke Palp.
01:40:33
Speaker
Palpatine orders for his his ship to... Yeah, like smoke perp, yeah. Don't hit my phone. Actually, don't hit phone. I don't want to fucking talk to you. and It's true.
01:40:46
Speaker
He orders for a ship to be ready because he senses that Anakin is in danger. Anakin and Obi-Wan are still going at it. ah They're going to float off this fucking lava fall.
01:40:57
Speaker
So they jump onto the some different floats further away. One is like a droid. yeah And you get the iconic... You get into it.
01:41:08
Speaker
You like it when i fucking step on you? You fucking freak. um You get the iconic I have failed you Anakin, I have failed you line from Obi-Wan.
01:41:19
Speaker
And then right after that, Obi-Wan jumps to the high ground. He tells him, I have the high ground, Anakin. It's over. um Which Anakin feels that he's being underestimated. And you get the, don't try it.
01:41:33
Speaker
So Anakin tries it because he's a fucking idiot. um And Obi-Wan cuts off three of his limbs. I only noticed this watch. They're the three human limbs and the robot arm is left.
01:41:44
Speaker
It stays. Which is interesting. But he is now a quadriplegic. Shout out to our quadriplegics out there. How do you fuck, you fucking mat of a human being?
01:41:58
Speaker
You are a blob. I would be like more like a bowling ball. You are now a like fuck doll. All right. Do you think he has his dick still? Yeah.
01:42:10
Speaker
Yeah. Cause you can see little nubs. No, he, yeah, he probably does. Well, I was going to say what, after what happens next, probably not. Yeah. so he starts sliding down this little hill into some lava and ignites on fire.
01:42:23
Speaker
Um, Obi-Wan tells Anakin he was the chosen one. And it was said that he was to destroy the Sith, not join them. And you get the iconic Anakin screaming he hates Obi-Wan. hate you!
01:42:35
Speaker
You get the, you were my brother Anakin, I loved you. um Obi-Wan returns to the ship and checks on Padme. And it's so funny because feels like C-3PO is like completely oblivious to what's going on. Isn't he always, though?
01:42:47
Speaker
Yeah, it's just funny. um Palpatine brings a rescue crew to pick up Anakin. ah We cut back to Organo tells Obi-Wan make contact and they land and bring Padme inside and bring her to the medical center.
01:43:01
Speaker
Padme is giving birth and we find out here that she has twins, babies. um And the droid reports that she just simply lost the will to live. There's nothing wrong with her.
01:43:13
Speaker
She pretty much died of a broken heart. Yeah, and basically this is like the visions that Anakin was having because he did all this fucking fuck shit. Mm-hmm. The only person he had to stop was himself.
01:43:24
Speaker
We see Anakin getting put back together. And then, uh, like he's getting like robot limbs attached to him. Uh, Padme names her children, Luke and Leia. Anakin puts on the Vader mask and you hear the iconic, uh, mechanical breathing.
01:43:40
Speaker
Um, Padme tells Obi-Wan there is good Anakin and she dies. Did not like this death scene that much. It's kind of gay. No. Um, Palpatine tells Vader that he killed Padme, which corrects to Padre.
01:43:55
Speaker
Um, he freaks the fuck out
Post-Duel Reflections and Events
01:44:00
Speaker
out. Mommy. Uh, Organa agrees to raise Leia. Obi-Wan's going to take Luke to Tatooine and agrees to watch over him, but he's just fucking sending him to goddamn Owen.
01:44:12
Speaker
Right. Um, Yoda corrected to Yada. Um, Yada. me um Wait, isn't Yada like the fucking female? Chowder, I think, right?
01:44:24
Speaker
That's Rada. There's character on Rada. Huh? Yada? Yeah, what'd you say? it The flying bitch from Chowder? Is that her name? No, was thinking of Rada. You're right. Rada, Rada, Rada. Rada, Rada. Yada, Yada. All right.
01:44:38
Speaker
ah Yoda orders Obi-Wan to do some training and he says that Qui-Gon has learned the path to immortality. What the fuck does that mean? I don't know. We never see him again. He's a force ghost? And Yoda's gonna teach him how to commune with Qui-Gon, but when is that gonna happen?
01:44:53
Speaker
I don't know because I gotta go into exile real quick. i'm gonna be i'm gonna be For a good 15 20 years. ah We see R2 and 3C3PO left on the ship from A New Hope.
01:45:06
Speaker
We see Padme's funeral. We cut to Palpatine and Anakin looking out the window of a starship at the Death Star being built. And again, Anakin here should be like, bro, you told me you could save Padme. You can't fucking do it.
01:45:20
Speaker
So I'm out. He should But now he's like, I gotta get revenge on Obi-Wan. Like, I'm fucking killing this motherfucker.
01:45:30
Speaker
Right? We see Luke and Leia in their new homes, and it ends on tattooing with Owen and Peru, I think her name is. Looking at the the double sunshot.
01:45:42
Speaker
Kind of like in A New Hope when Luke's standing there. Yeah. And that is the end of ah Star Wars Revenge of the Sith.
Film Reflection and Ratings
01:45:53
Speaker
They're back.
01:45:54
Speaker
The Sith is back. The Sith have returned. Hey, great. ah So... Um... Ow. That's out now.
01:46:06
Speaker
Ow. I'm not going to give it five stars, which is what I initially thought I was going to give it. Yeah. ah Because those the minor little bullshit Anakin stuff really you know takes away how fucking Kit Fisto got kind of fucked over.
01:46:24
Speaker
Little minute things really pissed me off. um The theater experience was cool. Seeing the final fight in a theater was fucking sick. Fucking sick.
01:46:36
Speaker
um I still am giving it a four and a half though. It is probably the best Star Wars movie.
01:46:45
Speaker
IMO. Because none of the sequel trilogy does anything. The OG trilogy is hit or miss. i don't I don't like A New Hope.
01:46:56
Speaker
I know that's a hot take. You like A New Hope. I don't think I have an official Star Wars ranking on my letterbox right now.
01:47:09
Speaker
No, I don't. I know I don't. um I'm at a four. i mean, I wrote a pretty lengthy review, and you just listen this fucking podcast about us talking about it. ah Nostalgia will always keep the floor for this movie high for me.
01:47:22
Speaker
I agree. There's just some pretty severe plot issues that I don't like. I know the Clone Wars series would help with this, but this is a movie, and we're judging this movie. So that's what I'm judging, this movie.
01:47:37
Speaker
ah It's you like a good so good movie. The score is iconic. The lines, some of the performances are very iconic. And the line deliveries are shit that goes around fucking the internet today. and this movie came out 20 years ago. Sometimes it's like unexpectedly funny. Think about that. This movie came out 20 years ago.
01:47:54
Speaker
Yeah, it's 20 anniversary. That's why they re-released it. 20 fucking years ago. How about that? old. We're old. Yeah. Yeah. I currently have this and Star Wars a New Hope rated the same.
01:48:10
Speaker
Oh, you like A New Hope better than Empire, huh?
01:48:13
Speaker
What do I have Empire rated? i don't have Empire rated. I haven't just watched. But I wonder if I logged New Hope or not. Or is just some trivial thing I put there?
01:48:26
Speaker
No, I just, it's not even, I'm going to take the rating away because I haven't watched it. I haven't like logged on Letterboxd yet. Well, if we decide to do the franchise, we can do a ranking.
01:48:38
Speaker
Yeah. Because I'm not going to lie. Watching this movie kind of made me want to do the franchise.
01:48:48
Speaker
You being fucking serious?
01:48:51
Speaker
Yeah, but obviously, if you don't want to, we won't. because Bro, you crow you but you watched it in a theater for the 20th anniversary in a packed crowd. Yeah, I'm sure you're a little bit backward. I watched... I don't have a fucking couch in my apartment. I watched it in my bed.
01:49:05
Speaker
You're probably right. You're probably right. Either way.
Podcast Milestones and Future Content
01:49:10
Speaker
we'll get We will get to Star Wars eventually. ah Eventually. we like We like Star Wars, like Star Wars. i have no... It's it's gotten sour.
01:49:21
Speaker
I watched two and one with Jake like last year or the year before recently. um Anyways, we hope you enjoyed this little Star Wars episode. we've It's our first Star Wars anything for this podcast.
01:49:36
Speaker
um We'll do a little...
01:49:41
Speaker
Follow us on Instagram, 2guysonescreenpod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to 2guysonescreenpod at gmail.com. Follow us on YouTube and TikTok for the clips.
01:49:54
Speaker
Fuck you, TikTok, you fucking pieces of shit. ah Follow us on Letterboxd. Hope you're listening. Send us a voicemail, 5088-FISTUS. 5088-DIPTIP.
01:50:05
Speaker
And all that's going to be in the fucking description. Yeah, fucking know. It always is. Shit. Next week, we have reached episode 50. Can you believe that? 50 published episodes. We have like 60 recorded.
01:50:20
Speaker
Yeah. um Episode 50 next week, ah Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part one.
Conclusion and Farewells
01:50:28
Speaker
um We are joined by a special returning guest.
01:50:33
Speaker
So that's fun. That we are. And I, you know, it's going be hard to beat Half-Blood Prince for insanity, but we get kind of wild in that episode, I feel like.
01:50:45
Speaker
For sure. and i And I actually feel ah this episode was pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, it was. We did a good job. You did good. You did good, kid. And then again, i don't know what the fuck we're talking about at the end of that episode. So the week after episode 51, we will be reviewing Final Destination Bloodlines.
01:51:06
Speaker
Woohoo. Very excited. Looking for So there's that. That film looks good. um And until next time, we'll see you guys. Toodles. Fuck you, Mark.