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The Burbs 1989
33 Plays8 months ago
Tonight we’re creeping into the cul-de-sac of suburban paranoia with a cult classic that’s equal parts hilarious and horrifying: The ‘Burbs from 1989.
Directed by Joe Dante and starring Tom Hanks in his comedic prime, this film takes the picket-fence dream and turns it into a nightmare of nosy neighbors, strange noises, and a whole lot of suspicion. Is the new family on the block just eccentric... or are they hiding something sinister in their basement? Grab your flashlight and lock your doors—we’re about to unravel the secrets of The ‘Burbs. Let’s get started.
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Transcript
Introduction and 'The Burbs' Movie Discussion
00:00:24
Speaker
Hello, welcome to Dead Notes, a horror and cult film podcast. I am Kevin, and with me is I'm not going to hear this now. I'm not going to listen to this.
00:00:35
Speaker
I'm not going to hear this now. I'm not going to listen to this. I want to kill everyone. Satan is good. Satan is our pal.
00:00:46
Speaker
You're chanting. You're chanting, Kevin.
Cast Highlights and Nostalgia
00:00:49
Speaker
I'm Alan, and we're talking about the burbs. 1989. Directed by Joe Dante.
00:00:56
Speaker
directed by joe daninty so d yeah One of the most incredible movies to ever hit celluloid. Holy fuck, man. This movie is probably perfect, I think, in so many ways.
00:01:10
Speaker
The cast alone is incredible. ah Yep, it's got our it's got our favorite little ah abused child star, Corey Feldman. Yep, yep.
00:01:21
Speaker
And electroshock therapy, Carrie Fisher. Yeah. and and ju to And my surprise favorite of the cast, Courtney Gaines, buty yeah because I'm a slut for Children of the Corn. Yeah.
00:01:39
Speaker
It came with the frame. Sardines. Sardines.
00:01:47
Speaker
That's how he sounds in real life, too. Outlander. He had games and music.
00:01:57
Speaker
Yeah, he' he's he plays such a creepy little guy, but I find him ah ah very innocent looking. And if he were up for adoption, I'd adopt him. Yeah, probably. i'd I'd have me a little Hans Klopek running around the house.
00:02:16
Speaker
Serving sardines on pretzels. I mean, honestly, ah he's a man after my own heart with the way he takes out his garbage. Yeah. yeah That's all me.
00:02:29
Speaker
Yeah. We've all done that a couple of times. Beating the brakes off of that shit.
00:02:38
Speaker
They ain't going to pick it up if it's sticking out of the can. ah Well, and he drives his car down to the garbage can. I actually do that because...
00:02:51
Speaker
Well... You know, I get up early for work and my garbage can's out behind my house and I, you know, I drive around to the back of the house and throw the trash in there. Yeah. So it's not pretty thorough.
00:03:05
Speaker
I just need to get my neighbors to film me doing it and then beat the brakes off of your trash can Beat the fucking living shit out of my trash.
00:03:17
Speaker
We'll just drive away. And of course, Tom Hanks is in this, which yeah wasn't a bit he wasn't a big star at the time.
Tom Hanks's Career and Comedy Style
00:03:26
Speaker
this was This movie was being filmed while Big was released in the theaters. Oh, wow. literally ah So this was literally while Tom Hanks blew up.
00:03:38
Speaker
Yeah, probably the Turner and Who chair too? Was that before or after this? i think that was I think that was... This was like the height of like Tom Hanks like comedy and his like temper tantrum comedies. You know what I'm saying? Where he would just do those freak outs.
00:03:53
Speaker
and yeah this This movie holds a lot of them that are phenomenal. Yeah, this was the Tom Hanks that I liked. you know ah Like a Bachelor Party and such. you know it just kind of yelled the whole time.
00:04:06
Speaker
Yeah, I'm freaking out. yeah He's like, I could act this part out, but I'm just going to yell it.
00:04:14
Speaker
Yep. hairs Here's a question I have for you, Kevin.
Character Analyses and Hollywood Experiences
00:04:18
Speaker
I guess I could just look this up. But how old is Ricky supposed to be in this movie? oh Because, look, he he does he own that house that he's painting?
00:04:34
Speaker
No, he's he's living with his parents. They make reference to it really like shortly. like He kind of does. ah when he caused it When he's like on the cops, he was like, there's a bunch of guys in my house eating all my parents' food.
00:04:47
Speaker
Oh, okay. so so But he's seen drinking beer in a few scenes in this movie. One where he's hanging out on the porch with Art. But apparently he's also David's friend.
00:05:03
Speaker
Yeah. it I don't like that. whats What's this out ah of age adult male hanging out with this little kid? If I were Ray, I'd be like, stay the fuck away from my kid, Ricky. Yeah, yeah I would say that him and his crew, they're probably about 19, 20. He's clearly living parents that shit.
00:05:26
Speaker
he's clearly very cool dude. living what this parents still all that shit though andnie clearly a very cool dude Oh, he's way cool. ah You know what?
00:05:38
Speaker
I feel it's it's a weird thing because he's a millionaire and a movie star. I don't know how much money he has. Don't forget musician. Musician.
00:05:50
Speaker
But I still somehow feel sorry for the guy but hey you because he's had you know, I'm sure that Hollywood wasn't exactly sweet to him.
00:06:02
Speaker
No, not at all. As we have seen. and And beyond all the goofy shit he does, he seems like a genuinely nice guy underneath all that. so It's possible. i don't know, man. I think he's a creep, personally.
00:06:17
Speaker
um i think that you know but I think he's also a product of his environment. you know Well, to your point, um Wendy Shaw, the woman who plays Bonnie Rumsfeld, Yeah.
00:06:31
Speaker
She said, in the making of this movie, she said that Corey Feldman would have porn stars of it visiting him during the shooting of this film. Oh, I believe it.
00:06:42
Speaker
It's probably somewhere in the middle. He was probably just overcompensating for you know all the Weinstein meat. Oh, I'm sure. But there was also that whole thing that he did where he was like having this like it was almost like the Charlie's Angels thing that he's there. You know, his little fucking Corey's Angels bullshit he's got going on like now. But it was like earlier and it was kind of like manipulating girls and stuff and kind of promising them like he's going to help them get the stardom.
00:07:13
Speaker
Much like that ah P. Diddy show, you know, that when he had that show Freaked off. Well, not Alan, but that one on MTV or whatever. he didn't have baby oil. They was partying in peanut oil.
00:07:29
Speaker
You show up, but you better not have peanut allergy. I need we i need a sugar cookie. I need a sugar cookie and milk from a Cambodian mother. I'm tired. Cambodian breast milk.
00:07:42
Speaker
I love Cambodian breast milks. I'm tired. my play rad good look ah My blood sugar is low. I'm tired. I'm tired. This is stupid.
00:07:54
Speaker
that Jackass.
00:07:58
Speaker
I'm tired.
00:08:01
Speaker
I'm tired of all the baby oil. My skin looks great, though.
00:08:08
Speaker
Oh, you use me as a human slip and slide. Yeah. We, man, we listen to this fucking thing. And I don't know. It was like an escort that was on the stand. It was somebody saying like what they said on the stand. And it went into this whole fucking thing of P. Diddy sliding underneath everybody and smacking their ball s sacks with his hand saying we,
00:08:37
Speaker
And then jumping up on the bed and spreading his butt cheeks and saying, black does crack. And then looking through his legs going, peekaboo.
00:08:49
Speaker
now i have her I heard that too, but I'm not convinced that that's not AI. I don't give a shit. It's funny as fuck. Black does crack.
00:09:01
Speaker
Well, to be to be fair, it's probably much worse than that. I'm sure. They're adding comedy to it, but it's probably way worse. It was incredible.
00:09:14
Speaker
I was fucking losing it, man. Oh my god, I was losing it. Incredible. What a night. that's like there What a night it would be. There's probably people...
00:09:26
Speaker
spooning baby oil out of their cracks to this day. um yeah.
00:09:34
Speaker
So many could have been over so many faces. But my point is, you know, uh, uh, Corey Feldman, you know, he is in a lot of great movies. Yeah, he was. Honestly, he's he's an iconic actor, man. I mean, you can't you can't doubt that out of the guy. He's he's been in damn near every one of our most memorable movies growing up. So I can't. And this is and this ain't the first time he worked with Joe Dante. Remember, he was ah he was a little kid in the Gremlins.
00:10:03
Speaker
That's right. Yep. And oh ah he was a little little asshole. No, he was a cute little kid in the Gremlins, but I don't know. He was fresh out of the goodies, too, I think. Right.
00:10:13
Speaker
Yeah. yeah ah He did. You know, he was in fucking Lost Boys. Oh, yeah. yeah And stand by me A pile of shit has a thousand eyes Yeah Best line in a movie Your dad's a loony Loony, loony, loony, loony, loony
00:10:39
Speaker
but
00:10:43
Speaker
best comeback ever someone calls you four eyes say a pile of shit has a thousand he calls them a four eyed pile of shit and he corrects them yeah a pile of shit has a thousand eyes which is terrifying to think about yeah yeah that's another incredible movie holy shit that'll be having to go on the list maybe yeah what a cash yeah Stand By Me is fucking great.
00:11:11
Speaker
Incredible. You guys want to see
Opening Scene and Iconic Movie Elements
00:11:14
Speaker
Dead Body? Yeah. And it's got... and got oh charlie Not Charlie Sheen. What the fuck is wrong with that? Kiefer Sutherland.
00:11:22
Speaker
Kiefer Sutherland, yeah. One of his best fucking roles, too. who Who is also in Lost Boys. Yep. This was like his era, man. I'm just as all their era.
00:11:34
Speaker
I'm just rambling at this point. So you want to talk about ah the universe? let's saying Yeah, let's talk about the universe. Really clever way that they start this movie because, you know, it it starts, you know, with the universal logo. We go in and it zooms in on the town. I've always loved movie openings like that for some reason.
00:11:55
Speaker
Or the old, remember the old HBO previews where you were coming in and like, it was like a ah town and then you went into the town and went flying around. Yeah. And then you come back out and really the whole time you're driving through the HBO logo in space.
00:12:15
Speaker
That's the homo box office.
00:12:20
Speaker
Yeah, it's really cool how it zooms in from the from outer space to the cul-de-sac, basically. Yeah. the ah little It really starts right out, too, man. like there's no there's no like They don't go through and like introduce everybody right away. They pretty much bring you right in the thick of it.
00:12:40
Speaker
You know, because yeah he comes out of his house, you know, right when they make it down to his neighborhood to see, you know, what the fuck's going on next. What the fuck is up with Adam's house? Yeah.
00:12:55
Speaker
The Klopax. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. So he looks up and sees Rumsfeld smoking at his fucking cigar watching. Yeah. Yeah, there's a cool shot, like, because um when Ray step, check this out next time you watch this, you know, right after, you know, when he steps on the Clopex property. Yeah.
00:13:19
Speaker
And it's like a tornado starts. It's like winds blowing and like yeah it's like static electricity, like in the ground and stuff. Yeah. Then when he steps back off, check out that shot, because i so I swear that is an homage to The Exorcist, because he's standing right under the streetlight looking up at the house.
00:13:38
Speaker
Oh, I'm sure it is. Yeah, because, I mean, they have a a clip of The Exorcist later on in the movie, you know? Yeah. It has that vibe for sure. But they never mention it anywhere that I've seen, and I can't help but think that that has to be an exorcist. Yeah, it's an iconic shot of horror, like you're looking upon this ominous fucking building of evil, you know? Yeah, so, yeah, it's ah it's a great shot. It should have been one of the posters, you know? yeah Yeah, but it should have been like a mock exorcist poster, but the burbs.
00:14:14
Speaker
yeah Yeah, that would be fucking on great. Use the same font. yeah Yeah, that might be an idea. Someone might make a shirt of that. Yeah, maybe our third um member of Dead Notes, Dick Miller. haisley yeah Walter Paisley.
00:14:31
Speaker
I bet, man. He's he's a jack of he's a jack-of- all trades, so I'm pretty sure he might have a t-shirt business going. so We'll be talking to him anyway about producing our shirts. yeah yeah Walter Paisley.
00:14:45
Speaker
Walter Paisley. And it cuts immediately to the next day with a little dick-sucking paperboy, little asshole. Just fucking throw it fucking newspapers wherever. i It's great that when he throws it at Ray, Ray tries to fucking hit him with his coffee. I know. man Lazy as shit, too. He's just like, fuck you.
00:15:07
Speaker
I fucking wish he hit him and fucking burned that little asshole.
00:15:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:18
Speaker
Oh, God. Son of a bitch. that But, to you know, to his credit, I was a paper boy at one point. And i was in a paper book being a paper boy will make you hate everybody because everybody complains about every goddamn thing.
00:15:35
Speaker
Yeah, you get yelled at so much. Like, I remember getting yelled at so much and like I didn't even do anything wrong. I was just trying to collect. Collect for their fucking paper. Yeah. I have PTSD from all the old ladies that would complain about where the paper was that when I go to the grocery store now, I just want to tip those bitches over in the fucking rascal scooters. How do you like that?
00:15:58
Speaker
Where's your paper now?
00:16:02
Speaker
ah Now you need to pick yourself up off the ground, bitch. I don't like where you're laying this time. i don't think I like your attitude.
00:16:13
Speaker
Yeah. I'd be in the fucking news. Lunatic. Flipping over old ladies and rascal scooters. I'd see that on the news and i'd be I'd be like, well, looks like Dead Notes is over. Alan's lost his shit.
00:16:32
Speaker
I finally went off the deep end there. I finally had enough. um Bounce the old lady's head off a can of fucking SpaghettiOs. Yeah.
00:16:44
Speaker
I love like kind of the introduction in this whole scene because, you know, we see Walter come out with with Queenie, who is a movie star in and of herself, right? Yep.
00:16:56
Speaker
How many films ah she has Queenie been in She's been in Silence of the Lambs. Yep. She was Pee-wee's Adventure in Batman Returns.
00:17:09
Speaker
Yeah. yeah she's yeah this She's pretty awesome. ah That is Buffalo Bill's little puppy. Yep. it puts the lotion in the bat It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again. After Walter passed away, because in this movie, we as we'll learn that he has like heart complications. So he passes on and then Queenie, you know, because his daughter and son-in-law didn't want to take Queenie in.
00:17:35
Speaker
They um had to put him up for adoption. And like Buffalo Bill had just like moved into the town. not too long ago, you know, and was really settling in and getting lonely.
00:17:46
Speaker
Um, cause he was having a dry spell, um, with his plans to make his body suit. So he adopted Queenie and that's, that was his baby. Yeah. Queenie's been very well taken care of.
00:17:59
Speaker
Buffalo Bill, another man after my own heart. He's an animal lover, but couldn't give a fuck less yeah about people. ah Yeah, little Queenie. Although, I think the paramedics let Queenie out. Or did did Walter go to the hospital?
00:18:21
Speaker
Did somebody take him? Or did the paramedics come get him? Because Queenie was just running around loose Yeah, they don't really go into that, but I think that, you know, that's pretty much what happened.
00:18:32
Speaker
But what I love is, you know, we got this, like, the soundtrack to this movie in and of itself is pretty incredible, with the score. And, like, this part is one of the funniest fucking parts because once once it hits Queenie, the camera follows Walter putting Queenie on the ground, and as soon as Queenie hits the ground, you just hear the...
00:18:52
Speaker
but but bar She goes over and takes a shit in Mark Crumsfield's lawn. Yeah. yeah but it's that happy barking music the whole time dude i was oh my so fucking funny and they've got like the con they've got like the um colors adjusted in this movie to where everything is super bright so yeah it's so colorful queenie shit looks purple yeah Dude, it's so vibrant, and it's the that contrast on everybody's front lawn, you know, because... there Yeah, the grass is like a beautiful, like, fucking turquoise. It's like everything is um everything's real bright in this movie.
00:19:34
Speaker
Yeah. Except for the clopex. Yeah, they're very gray. like and I love that. A good contrast, yeah. Yeah, and then we get introduced to Ricky...
00:19:46
Speaker
Ricky Butler, our boy, playing fucking music on the porch, which I'm guilty of. And if I could go back in time and see myself... Well, he's playing air guitar on the porch, right?
00:19:58
Speaker
Yeah. But he also turns he has the stereo out there and turns it up. I'm guilty of that. And I want to...
00:20:08
Speaker
ah who I'd kick my own ass. Turn the fucking stereo down, jackass.
00:20:21
Speaker
yeah I see you out there doing that. Yeah. Yeah, we used to sit out on the porch and play music loud. And yeah and I go back in time...
00:20:35
Speaker
yeah I'd beat the fucking shit out of myself. Yeah, you would. You'd join in and fucking jam out again. That's what you would do. You'd be like, you guys got room for one more?
00:20:46
Speaker
yeah here Here, young Alan, let me show you some riffs. Wernie, wernie, wernie, wernie. Noodly, noodly, noodly. Yeah, noodly, noodly, noodly.
00:21:00
Speaker
You put...
00:21:04
Speaker
you're you fucking it's like that south park episode where fucking i thought this was america yeah yeah but and go when there it's the guitar hero one when he comes downstairs he's like i see you like this song and he's in his he's in his whitey tighties with his fucking leg up on the amp
00:21:24
Speaker
captain morgan style yeah yeah yeah yeah and uh every everybody's dream relationship walks outside to raise the flag you know mark with his young wife yeah which is mark rich what's going on here Oh, I mean, he's loaded, man.
00:21:46
Speaker
But, dude, that fucking scene where he goes out and he fucking slips on that fucking dog shit and you hear it, like, screech. It's like... Ha ha ha. Oh, man, I got I got ah my dad when I was a kid used to breed Rottweilers, which I don't agree with animal breeding, but that's besides the point. I was a kid, yeah but I would wake up.
00:22:08
Speaker
I woke up in the middle of the night. I have memories of my tiny little boy foot stepping on a giant pile of fucking Rottweiler mushing through my toes. Dude, I can't stand it with shoes on or boots on. Like, I feel it no matter what.
00:22:26
Speaker
And you're like stumbling like he is. he Yeah. Yeah. Like you try to walk on the heels so you're not stepping on the floor afterwards. Yeah. So you. made the Oh, so horrible.
00:22:39
Speaker
Yeah. Did you tell your dad you're going to staple their assholes? ah Staple his asshole shut. That piece of scum barking rat ears has just taken his last stomp on my lawn.
00:22:53
Speaker
I find one more. Just one. I'm gonna catch him and staple his ass shut. Wouldn't that be a fucking great story? You know, one day when I was a kid, my dad was asleep, belly down, ass up, and I fucking...
00:23:09
Speaker
I stepped in his dog's shit. I went at him with a stapler. stapled his ass. Stapled his ball sack over his asshole.
00:23:21
Speaker
Yeah. Good luck, bitch.
00:23:27
Speaker
Yeah. That would be a good yeah that'd be another good story to be known for in the news. and Boy staples his dad's scrotum over his asshole. Yeah. ah just like a cla Just looks like a pink clamshell.
00:23:50
Speaker
You don't want none of them pearls. Oh, I love when he like yells at his dog and like Queenie comes up on the window and starts talking shit to him. Yeah.
00:24:01
Speaker
Well, it's funny because Ray is watching from his window. like yeah um Kids nowadays wouldn't understand that because he's like watching the neighborhood.
00:24:13
Speaker
Yeah. That's his entertainment. he's you know Nowadays, he wouldn't even notice. He'd just be staring at his fucking cell phone. Yeah, I appreciate it. Not that that was any more productive. I'm just commenting. This movie really captures kind of like that era in the morning. i know It's very familiar to me. You know what I'm saying? Just the way everything's obviously since 1989. So this is how accurate yeah of my childhood.
00:24:43
Speaker
But, you know, yeah it's just it definitely makes me feel like it how it used to be. Not just staring out the window, but just waking up in the morning and everybody's just kind of moseying about on a Saturday.
00:24:55
Speaker
Minus my friends shooting guns in my backyard. but It's definitely nostalgic, though, because the way saying things were actually simpler. you know You just kind of woke up.
00:25:08
Speaker
Unless you had the TV on, there wasn't a whole bunch of shit to argue about. You just went on with your day. Yeah, you just drank your coffee and read the paper. yeah you're not yeah Yeah, you're not just getting triggered.
00:25:23
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Just and enjoy your day. But we but it it goes to um the next morning at Ray's house, him complaining about everything, and we get introduced to his wife, Carol.
00:25:36
Speaker
Princess Leia. Yeah, Carrie Fisher. Carrie Fisher. R.I.P. And Art. who i Rick Dokomon. Is that Dokomon?
00:25:48
Speaker
Well, no, he doesn't come in yet because remember he comes in as a sniper. like Oh yeah, that's right. Cause he's going in. Yeah. Yeah. He's like sitting there complaining, um, that he's not going to do anything for his vacation.
00:26:03
Speaker
Yeah. This is just where we get introduced to Carol and his useless son, David, Dave. Yeah. Who, who serves no purpose, you know? Yeah. Uh,
00:26:16
Speaker
and And ah she's trying to convince him to go up to the lake house for vacation, right? I think it's this scene. It might be the... They have two scenes in this scene. Yeah, well, she this is when she's telling him. She's, like, kind of going off on him about it or whatever. She's like, are you going to do a sit around and not do nothing? And he's like, no, I'm going to build stuff. And your dad just gave me all these tools and stuff. she's like, you're going to sit around and watch... ah You just want to sit around and watch Jerry Dandridge get drunk and fall down the stairs.
00:26:45
Speaker
ah But man, my man, ah mom yeah, right. My man, Ray, he's like, I don't want to go to the lake house and watch the big headed neighbor get drunk and fall down. Yeah, that's what it was.
00:27:01
Speaker
Jerry Dandridge.
00:27:04
Speaker
a big headed neighbor get drunk and fall down the stairs and carol drops a line i had to look it up because i was like is that the word yeah yeah is that the word we've been searching for this whole time yeah ah carol says he's a hydro he's a hydrocephalic yeah he's a hydrocephalic yeah and that And that they shouldn't make fun of him. And I was like, wait a second.
00:27:34
Speaker
That sounds like Waterhead to me. So I was like, there's ah there's a hydro in that word. there And he's got a big he's got a big head, big-headed neighbor, hydro.
00:27:46
Speaker
i my slow head put that My slow big head put that together, and I was like, wait a minute. This is the scientific term for a Waterhead, isn't it? And sure enough.
00:27:57
Speaker
It is. Hydrocephalus. That's what Jason had. that's what That's what Jesus puts that water in there. Yep, that's exactly you got the answer. There was a guy in Columbus, um and he had he was ah he had hydro he had that hydrocephalic head, and they called him Big Head Ray or something. i saw him on one of the old Columbus pages where people post old pictures of like campus and shit.
00:28:26
Speaker
But like, I remember seeing this guy and he had a bunch of gold chains on, but he looked like, uh, what's his fuck from mask. You know I'm talking about? ah Rocky Dennis. Yeah. Rocky Dennis.
00:28:39
Speaker
What's his fuck? Rocky Dennis. I don't know why I can remember that, but I can't remember. Well, what the fuck is wrong with me?
00:28:50
Speaker
Come to us for all your information around like hydrocephalism. and Big head syndrome. on it You want to know all about Rocky Dennis's big ass head?
00:29:01
Speaker
It's full of water. Yeah, so so basically, Jason Voorhees has hydrocephalus. Yes. The man can't help it. Big ass water head. Yeah. He's got the strength of 10 men.
00:29:16
Speaker
yeah I wonder if you shot him in the head if it would pop like a water balloon. There's got to be some pressure in there to make the head bigger. You'd think his eyeballs would be protruding a little bit.
00:29:26
Speaker
I guess he's only really got one, but still. I don't know. It should be one big-ass You're looking at my eye!
00:29:39
Speaker
You're looking at my eye!
00:29:43
Speaker
Oh my god. The next scene is where we find Art because just Vince the dog and Art's neighbor who's trying to shoot a crow. With what I assume is a.22 or He's definitely shooting a bullet.
00:30:02
Speaker
Yeah, that's probably not... And Art was also Snick in Little Monsters too. Oh yeah. ah The big bully monster.
00:30:14
Speaker
He always looked like he was in pain. Yeah, that dude. I didn't watch any of it, but ah his um he was a stand up comedian, too.
00:30:25
Speaker
Yeah, he's done a lot of shit. He was in um roman man he was in Spaceballs, too. He was in Spaceballs as well. um a little part.
00:30:35
Speaker
But yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, he's a funny dude. Yeah, he's funny as shit. I that apparently him and ah him and Ray, Tom Hanks, really didn't get along that well, so they argued like that on the set for real.
00:30:54
Speaker
That's great. That just adds to it, man. Right. There wasn't a whole lot of acting there. A lot ad-libbing and stuff. They just are argued like brothers.
00:31:05
Speaker
Yeah, dude, it's it's awesome. Their relationship in this is is awesome because it's is that he's your buddy, but he annoys the fucking piss out of you. You know what I'm saying? Like he's that one friend that just keeps antagonizing you, but you still hang out with, you know, whatever, because you're neighbors, I guess.
00:31:23
Speaker
Yeah, and and Ray is like the straight man in this movie. you know he's kind of the He's kind of the moral center of the movie, and Carol is his... um I don't know, Carol, I guess, is just the nagging wife.
00:31:40
Speaker
Sorry! No, she's just trying to fucking keep his head afloat as she's supposed to do and try to get his head out of the fucking shit, you know? But he's getting caught up in his neighborhood stuff, you know, which is hilarious.
00:31:54
Speaker
Yeah, he's slowly delving into... ah He's slowly spiraling into the whole... It's kind of like... I mean, it's not dissimilar from looking at your phone, I mean, to make to go back to that comparison because he is kind of just...
00:32:12
Speaker
slowly being convinced that something is true that may or may not be true. Yeah. yeah Living on rumors, just to poke and prod. Yeah, he's like, did you hear what... You know, it's just fucking ah gossiping, basically. Yeah, oh, it's all gossip.
00:32:30
Speaker
Up to this point, they're just gossiping about the Klopeks. Yeah, because no one's seen them and shit. This is what people do with one understands. right they I swear our neighbors on the other side of us, dude, they can't see us very much because you know my house is covered in trees and shit, but I know they they've peeked through some of the so trees and just like or have been watching us like with all the projects we've been doing outside.
00:32:57
Speaker
i imagine they envision like us when they wake up and see them digging in their backyard in the rain later on. That's what I imagine that they see when they look back there, even though we're just doing yard work they don't even know your name they're like they don't all that we saw the neighbor guy taking the trash out yeah last night at three in the morning yeah because i've done that Oh, me too.
00:33:22
Speaker
Yeah, I've done that shit. That's why i said the Clopex are just misunderstood at this point. and i And I'll talk about it later, but I kind of wish it stayed that way. but Yeah.
00:33:34
Speaker
Whatever. You know. because Because little David, the useless character, this is basically his one important line where he...
00:33:45
Speaker
He tells them... Well, Art says that the last house that the Klopeks lived in burned to the ground in a raging inferno, right? And yeah dave tells Dave tells him that last week, with a telescope, he was he saw them digging in the backyard.
00:34:02
Speaker
And, of course, Art's brain draws the conclusion that they were digging graves. Yep. Which, which i mean... i yeah whatever.
00:34:13
Speaker
it is weird. It is weird dig holes in the back of your yard in the middle of the night when it's raining out. but Yeah. I'm not judging.
00:34:26
Speaker
I do weird shit too.
00:34:31
Speaker
So the next day again, well, it's actually the same morning,
Personal Rants and Teenage Antics
00:34:35
Speaker
isn't it? Because Mark and Bonnie are working on their yard and Mark's complaining about Walter's yard being the best on the block.
00:34:41
Speaker
Yeah. You know why, though? Because he has his dog come over and shit in our yard. Which he says that it could use some fertilizing, so I don't understand. as the front You know, this is another thing. This is a pet peeve of mine, because unfortunately, my neighbors are the same as me. They couldn't give a fuck about their yard, because we don't have kids.
00:35:05
Speaker
I don't have kids, and they don't have kids, so... So we don't give a fuck about the yard. and Neither of us use it. But this whole thing where I see people fertilizing their grass, I'm like, you son of a bitch. Because I hate mowing my lawn. That's like the worst thing about summer.
00:35:26
Speaker
It's like, what am I mowing this shit for? And if I don't mow it, it grows like a motherfucker. So who are these people that have to fertilize their grass? Yeah, yeah.
00:35:37
Speaker
Well, I mean, some people just love it, man. Just a small rant. Small rant because don't get it. Yeah. I don't know. I have to say that I'm a sucker for... I don't care if my yard's like perfect, but I like mowing, and I like making my lawn look nice and mowed when I'm able to. when i'm able to go there You are the devil. Yeah. I've got a lot of lawn, though. You also have kids, though. Yeah, I do. So maybe there's a correlation there. Yeah. i don't want um
00:36:11
Speaker
You don't want chipmunks rolling them for their months. Yeah. Yeah. And Ricky comments on Bonnie not having tan lines. This morning, he said, no tan lines this morning. Nice.
00:36:25
Speaker
What? So mark Mark should have walked over there and slapped him in the mouth. He goes, or you say that kid's a freaking meatball. Yeah.
00:36:43
Speaker
And then to stop all chatterboxing, to stop all the bullshit, yours truly walks out on the porch.
00:36:54
Speaker
yeah Yeah. This is totally you. This is you going out to get your fucking mail every day and your Amazon packages. All your neighbors are like getting the zoom in on their face.
00:37:07
Speaker
yeah If you see Hans Klopek, it's basically look he looks like me, but a little prettier. ah Yeah. Dude, that fucking scene, though. oh my God. The zoom in on everybody's faces is incredible. And then they start zooming in on Queenie's face.
00:37:28
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Well, they do like the spaghetti western thing, like when they dare each other to walk up to the house and they start playing like the western music. And they're zooming in on everyone's face, even little Queenie.
00:37:41
Speaker
Yeah, dude. It's... yeah highlaw I lose it every time. It's so fucking funny to me. And there is this, there is this time a long time ago, i was eating a lot of acid and were going, were going and like going through like all these like abandoned houses out in the middle of the country and just,
00:38:01
Speaker
doing whatever well we get back to my brother's house and we're like let's watch the burbs and i hadn't felt anything yet because i've been eating a lot of it and i eat like this be berber the the huge ass piece and by the time that scene happened when they zoom in on queenie's face dude everything fucking kicked in on me and i was in for the ride of my life and so that's always burned into me and i'm like oh my god i didn't think i was coming out of it that day
00:38:32
Speaker
It was incredible. Incredible. But yeah, think and I think my brother locked me in his basement that night too because he got scared. Even though I was just in the corner in fetal position. He's like, honey, I've locked.
00:38:48
Speaker
I locked Kevin in the basement. He's scaring me. no
00:38:58
Speaker
I locked my hydrosimplistic brother in the But can't he conquer the door with his strength that he's been granted?
00:39:18
Speaker
No, because he's hydrosimplistic. He's not hydrosimphalic. hydrocephalic just sounds like you got water on the dick. Yeah, I can't pronounce it.
00:39:30
Speaker
I'm just going to say hydro simplistic. ah Hydrocephalic. I got water on my penis.
00:39:41
Speaker
So Art keeps pressuring Ray go say hello, and he keeps fucking nagging him, like, oh, you chicken shit, blah, blah, blah, you know, and, like, Ray's had enough. And he's like, well, let's go. Let's go.
00:39:53
Speaker
This would be me and you. Like, I'd be like, go on, Alan. Why don't you go knock on the door, man? What are you, a pussy? be calling me a pussy and being two steps behind me the whole time. Yeah. Yeah.
00:40:07
Speaker
You go first in case shit goes down. I'd be like holding on to your the back of your shirt, like going through like a haunted house or something.
00:40:19
Speaker
oh shit. So yeah, they go up to the porch and what he falls through the fucking porch there. when he gets up there. When Art falls through the porch, it always may reminds me of Tremors. when ah you know, when he falls through the ground and starts screaming. Yeah.
00:40:36
Speaker
yeah yeah you remember that yeah he's like i wish oh that's just so fucking funny yeah he thought he was he thought he was got yeah i wish i would ah i wish i would have did that this where he just starts freaking out because he fell through the porch yeah like something like something got him yeah he got you that's just fucking funny so they go and they knock on the on the door right yeah And their address, 669, turns into 666.
00:41:07
Speaker
The number of the beast. and Yeah, and then a bunch of bees come out the damn The bees! Not the bees!
00:41:22
Speaker
Nicholas Cage. not whos Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna get bitch-smacked by a man in a bear costume.
00:41:33
Speaker
So I have this, the same kind of situation on my porch. Um, we had like six or not. What am I talking about? We had like three generations of wasps that live like in behind this little sign on our, the front of our, uh, door, our metal screen door.
00:41:49
Speaker
And they've never messed with us. They've just grown up knowing that that door opens and closes. They've just adapted. But if the door would ever slam, they'd come out. So it was like my, I called it my, uh,
00:42:03
Speaker
my Jehovah's Witness alarm. So if the Jehovah's Witnesses come to my door, all I got to do is hit that really quick so they can run away from my front porch. Release the bees. Yes, but they're wasps.
00:42:16
Speaker
And one of them stung me on my head two weeks ago, and that sucked, but ah let them go.
00:42:24
Speaker
Did it inject any water in there? ah i don't think i I don't think I got room for any more water. please Please tell me your head swelled up. oh Oh, yes.
00:42:35
Speaker
you are yeah b me why It'd be really weird if the other head swelled up after I got stung on the other head.
00:42:47
Speaker
I kind of like that. ah kind of like that. Mine does every time. i was let ah My other head's hydrosimplistic.
00:43:00
Speaker
Your hydrocephalus? It's my hydrocephalus. Oh, shit. But yeah, fucking... They gave me a miles long.
00:43:14
Speaker
Them legs went right up and made an ass out themselves. That bee done made me horny. So like Mark comes out he's like, come over here soldiers.
00:43:26
Speaker
Come to the water. He's spraying them with fucking hoses and shit. And this scene was always like nasty to me too when Art is like sitting there and he spits that fucking bee out. always I've always like cringed at that moment.
00:43:39
Speaker
So fucking gnarly. It created a phobia for you. Yeah. I stopped putting bees in my mouth after I saw that. Yep. He stopped putting bees in his mouth and started putting bees in there.
00:43:59
Speaker
Hydrocephalus. Hydrocephalus. I want no bees in my mouth, but I'll take a couple of bees.
00:44:13
Speaker
my God. So that night, Ray is ray takes Vince for a walk, which I don't know why i didn't understand that Vince was Ray's dog, but whatever.
00:44:26
Speaker
He go he and hey a goes to Arts to smoke cigarettes. or His cigar, yeah. But Ricky tells him about the movie The Sentinel because he kind of compares the Clopax to them where they had the ah where they opened up the gateway to hell and he kind of thinks that's what's going on over the Clopax house.
00:44:48
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. He's like trying to map it out to him or whatever so they can keep him freaked out. and Before he even walks up there, Art's telling Ricky he was like, oh, he's coming over here to smoke cigars so because his wife doesn't let him smoke cigars over there. He doesn't know that I knew that. I'm like, oh my God, dude. Now, just to be clear, this is Ricky sitting on the porch drinking beers with Art, who earlier, not one scene earlier, was hanging out with David.
00:45:21
Speaker
Yeah. Yep. gheto get all ah someone's gonna be on a dateline yeah Ricky don't leave his neighborhood man he brings everybody to him what are you doing with them kids Ricky ah why are you hanging out with that 12 year old Ricky I'm just saying it's not normal to be hanging out with 12 year old and then later that night drinking beer on the porch with a grown man yeah that's a weird cul-de-sac
00:45:53
Speaker
Yeah, we're called a sack. Licking his bald-a-sack. His bald-a-sack. So after after Ricky's amazing tale, ah didn't
Storytelling Parallels and Comedic Elements
00:46:03
Speaker
they... Oh, yeah, theyre they were telling him about the ah ah skip that killed his whole family with the ice pick and the smell and everything.
00:46:11
Speaker
Yeah, that was Art's story. it yeah I like how he he kind of opened it up. It kind of reminded me of, um remember that movie, Great Outdoors? Yes.
00:46:23
Speaker
Kind of the same kind of storytelling that ah John Candy does in that. With the bear? Yeah. yeah Yeah, the bear story. He kind of did the same thing because he set it up and then he paid it off with the scare.
00:46:35
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Because Ricky does the same thing to Ray. Yeah. Which I think I'm going to watch The Great Outdoors tonight. That's another um awesome movie, dude.
00:46:47
Speaker
That movie fucking rules. so You ever get the feeling that somebody's staring at you and they turn around and it's the twins and it's like that? said and a You know what glizzies are made of, Kevin?
00:46:59
Speaker
ah Lips and assholes. Them raccoons are sitting there going through the garbage and they're like, oh, they got lobster tails. They're loaded.
00:47:10
Speaker
But i'll I'll force us out of this because I know I started it. So we'll just go in and introduction to Gail, who is apparently Ricky's girlfriend.
00:47:20
Speaker
Yeah. Right. ah Yeah. And he's flashing that badass leather. Oh, yeah, he's got the studs on it. You know, when I met my, uh, I'll tell you so everybody can cringe at this.
00:47:36
Speaker
When I first met my ex-wife, uh, her and one of her friends were talking about all the studs in their belt, and me, being the witty genius that I am, said, I only have one stud in my belt.
00:47:51
Speaker
Ha ha
00:47:57
Speaker
That's fucking stupid. Stupid, you mean. You got a weird way of saying stupid, Kevin.
00:48:09
Speaker
stupid you mean yeah you got you got a weird way of sayinging stupidop him kevin
00:48:18
Speaker
So yeah, like Ricky's girlfriend's like, what let's go out and see a go out and do something. And he's like, nah, man, you gotta sit here and listen to this in my neighborhood. You gotta see what's going on. This is better than the movies.
00:48:31
Speaker
Yeah, man. yeah man rick Ricky is fucking cool. Yeah, dude. He is a cool dude. He's a fucking, yeah, he's something. It's so funny in the ninety s how... ah o um different, like, cool was considered.
00:48:51
Speaker
Because he's like, hey, man, the pizza dude. I got it taken care of, man. This is the best part of the night. I got the pizza on the way. ah way back We're going to go get some Mickey D's, man. What you want?
00:49:08
Speaker
ah Times, you know what though, it's funny because even without the internet, kids talk the same and on the east coast all the way to the west coast, they were all saying the same dumb shit. and I wonder if it's because of movies like this.
00:49:23
Speaker
It might be, um, one of my nieces yesterday was saying something and called it buns. B-U-N-S. Buns. Buns. Yeah, and I was say was like, what's that mean?
00:49:35
Speaker
Because she was saying, that's buns. And I was like, what's that mean? And, um... They're like, it means that it's really cool. And I was like, oh, I was like, I'm just trying to learn your guys' as lingo so I could fit in.
00:49:48
Speaker
And my daughter was like, you're never going to fit in. You don't know how to use our slang. This senior moment was brought to you by the senior citizen, Kevin Edwards.
00:50:01
Speaker
Dead notes. Retirement systems. ah the dead notes retirement program we got uh we're gonna try to explain modern slang you get you get as fresht at all a fresh new pair of white new balance baby yeah And some gray socks.
00:50:21
Speaker
yope You gotta have the tan khakis with the that skinny leather belt that they all get. don't know what that is. Little skinny belt. And a tucked in polo.
00:50:33
Speaker
Oh yeah, tucked in polo for sure. Tucked in polo shirt. That's the uniform. Kevin's got that on right now. he's why after that Here lately, I don't feel like I'm far from it.
00:50:48
Speaker
um You switch to that whenever you start explaining like ah some stupid-ass slang that yeah a 10-year-old has told you. Yeah, yeah that's buns, man. They're like making fun of me, too. And I'm like, like man.
00:51:07
Speaker
i should I should have asked if they say radical or anything. Or I think I'm going to reintroduce that and see if I can take off with it. Well, with the kids, because of ah AI and shit, all you really gotta do to confuse them is ask them what 2 plus 2 is.
00:51:29
Speaker
Some of them. I don't know, let me talk to artificial intelligence...
00:51:37
Speaker
ah Now I'm sounding like the old, this, this senior citizen moment. It was brought to by dead notes, retirement. systems
00:51:47
Speaker
Anyway, they scare the shit out of Ray with all this talk of kids slang these days. And we got introduction to Gail and Ricky on the porch and they don't want to go anywhere because Ricky just wants to stay out at his parents' house, which it's a huge house.
00:52:04
Speaker
I don't blame him. And all of his neighbors are fucking insane. So they all they bring out this fucking infrared scope, right? And they're just going to spy on the Klopax all night with it.
00:52:18
Speaker
all of them got All of them got great houses, man. yeah two Two wraparound porches with two doors. yeah Yeah. That's a good fucking house. Everybody's well off.
00:52:30
Speaker
Everybody is well off. Everybody's got more monies than me. That was back when everybody had money all the time, right? That was back when you only spent about 10 or 15% of your income on your mortgage and such instead of 50 or 60. Yeah.
00:52:48
Speaker
There is a scene a little bit back though, when they're in Ray's garage and he's showing off his tools and he was saying, was thinking about installing one of them new garage door openers. It's like, it dated it so much. Like so that Yankee book learning witchcraft.
00:53:07
Speaker
That is. Yeah. garage door opener like automatically what if you get hung up in that thing it could kill you gotta be careful man ah flash forward to scream yeah i that bitch got hung up in the fucking scary movie when when the girl gets caught up in that door and it's like squealing like a pig when it's crushing her
00:53:35
Speaker
squeal like a pig hog boy So they look over at the Clopex and, uh, just hear this fucking engine, like big giant turbine, sound and engine starting up in their basement, much like what we were seeing in the beginning of the movie.
00:53:52
Speaker
And there's lightning happening and, you know, we're, we're getting that feeling that some shit's getting ready to go down. And, uh, we see this bright light, like just fucking blast out of their cellar.
00:54:05
Speaker
And they're like, what the was that? They see rolling. Yeah. Because my man Hans. Yeah. Go ahead. I'm sorry. No, you're good. No, you're good.
00:54:16
Speaker
And yeah, fucking the garage door opens within five minutes of that. And Hans drives out or excuse me, Alan's driving to work in the morning and he's driving his car down to the trash can to throw away his bag of garbage and beat the brakes off of it.
00:54:31
Speaker
My man beats the ever loving shit out of the trash. And yeah, that's a red flag. I mean, you wouldn't put that on your Tinder fucking profile.
00:54:44
Speaker
No. but But again, I'm pretty sure that's what our neighbors think about us, though, too. oh yeah. My neighbors are probably very suspicious because ah they're like, we only left for an hour, but now his lawn is mowed. Yeah.
00:55:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:06
Speaker
I got a secret. I wait till you motherfuckers leave. Yeah. I got alerts. I don't want to talk about nothing. Yeah. Asking me questions. Yeah. Let me mow. I don't like mowing. Yeah.
00:55:19
Speaker
Yeah. They see me mowing. It's stupid.
00:55:26
Speaker
No one sees me with my Crocs on. and I fucking. Yeah. Right. I don't want you to see. Don't look at me. oh Yeah. Are you looking at my Crocs? ah ha Hans is the man.
00:55:39
Speaker
yeah don't care. He's best character in the movie. Yeah. Hans fucking kicks ass. He beat the shit out of the fucking trash. Pulls back into the house. Yeah, pulls back into the house.
00:55:55
Speaker
And Ray's like, I've never seen that. I've just never seen that. What? Oh my god! Who beats up their garbage? never seen that.
00:56:08
Speaker
I've never seen anybody drive their garbage down to the street and then bang the hell out of it with a stick on it. I've never seen that.
00:56:18
Speaker
That's right. So as they're going home, Ray sees the light come on. Big fucking mistake. They wait until the morning. This movie was shot in sequence, so I think after this day, the garbage is on the street for the rest of the movie. It is. And you notice that through the whole movie, like everybody's just running over it and they make sure you see everybody constantly running over it.
00:56:41
Speaker
It's incredible. Big mistake. They wait until the morning the check to to check the garbage to see what Hans threw away and was beating the fucking brakes off of.
00:56:53
Speaker
And we get our man, that are the newest member of the Dead Notes, Walter Paisley.
00:57:01
Speaker
yeah he yes and you know He's come in, what, it's been over four or maybe four times now? This is the fourth time he's popped I have no fucking idea. He was with us in the beginning.
00:57:14
Speaker
Night of the Creeps. but ah yeah and ah ah We can't overlook Robert Picardo either here. but No, we can't because he's awesome too. Well, because Joe Dante, you know, Gremlins 2, got, here's something embarrassing.
00:57:32
Speaker
I read the book well when I was a kid. I read the Gremlins 2 book. Yeah. But I fucking love that movie. Gremlins 2, I like better than the first one.
00:57:45
Speaker
he's the He's the high corporate guy, right? No, or no it's not yeah security he's the security officer. that's right The one that the female gremlin has sex with.
00:57:58
Speaker
Yeah, she's like... A man! Yeah.
00:58:05
Speaker
But that's just funny because Dick Miller and Robert Picardo were both in Gremlins 2 with Joe Dante. It goes back to that circle of friends thing that people do. They're like, hey, come and be in this, you know?
00:58:18
Speaker
yeah he's like, you guys want be in a fucking movie? You guys want be in another fucking movie together? Yeah, those guys are great, man. I love seeing them in ah any movie. and ah Walter Paisley is, you know...
00:58:34
Speaker
when's he supposed to get here yeah motherfucker he's supposed to be printing shirts he's always late I know he's got a side hustle of printing shirts but there
Search for Walter and Dream Analysis
00:58:44
Speaker
I'm hoping he does a really good job and he's got a side hustle he works at White Castle he's the guy that puts the holes in the hamburgers yeah it's um and some weird specialty special science I can do all five of them at once.
00:59:02
Speaker
Yeah. Is there five holes? I don't know. I don't eat fucking white castles. So anyway,
00:59:13
Speaker
but that's the night, uh, that, that night, you know, ah Ray looks out his window and sees a Kopex digging in their backyard. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what the neighbors see when, like I said earlier.
00:59:27
Speaker
When I see you taking out your trash. Or just doing yard work in the backyard. that hydro to fo like That hydrocephalic boy is out there digging holes in the yard again.
00:59:41
Speaker
Look at the size of his head. Look at the size of that fucker's head. It sounds like a half-empty bottle of ah water. Yeah. Like a jug.
00:59:52
Speaker
Like he's carrying around a gallon jug of milk and sloshing around. What's Art say about it too? Like like about them digging? He's like, they were they weren't digging for night crawlers.
01:00:06
Speaker
It's fucking stupid.
01:00:10
Speaker
Art is like the, uh, he, he, ah he is a menace in this movie. He is just ruining Ray's fucking life. Cause Ray was doing just fine without him.
01:00:23
Speaker
And art has to come over spewing all his conspiracy theories about what the clopecks are up to. ye
01:00:31
Speaker
Fucking asshole.
01:00:37
Speaker
ah So they're they're convinced that the Klopeks took the body out of the garbage and buried it in the backyard. And that's why they were digging back there and all that stuff.
01:00:48
Speaker
Meanwhile, Bonnie goes outside and finds Queenie all dirty and all scared, and they don't know what happened to Walter. So they they end up breaking into Walter's fucking house.
01:01:03
Speaker
which is hilarious. And they're in there just pooping around and fucking art, like grabs that pipe and just puts it in his pocket and raise like, can we not steal stuff from our neighbor? Can we not, can we just put that back?
01:01:19
Speaker
He's not wrong though. I mean, art is not necessarily wrong. If, if Walter really was dead, aot well, yeah, might as well help yourself. You're already broken his house. Yeah. You're already in.
01:01:34
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, what's the... What's the extra charges? an extra day or two in jail? Maybe. I don't know. Right?
01:01:45
Speaker
Yeah. But, uh... Fucking, um... They decide to leave because our pulls the plate of cookies out of the refrigerator and breaks the plate.
01:01:59
Speaker
and He's always fucking eating. was like, Yeah, it's funny because this is 19, what year was this? 1989. 1989. Jesus Christ, I'm way off.
01:02:12
Speaker
But it's funny because this was 89 and Art is the fat guy. Yeah, he's just fucking eating, man. That's who they considered fat back then. yeah Swoppy. He's like soft.
01:02:29
Speaker
he's ah Nowadays, he wouldn't even be he'd be called slim. Yeah. yeah Man bods are in, or dad bods are in, man.
01:02:41
Speaker
Yeah, he yeah he's got he's got a dad bod. Well, nowadays, people call fucking... What's his name? Um... who Who's that guy that played Aquaman?
01:02:55
Speaker
but They say he's got a dad bod. And I'm like, are you fucking crazy? what yeah every Every woman's heartthrob. Yeah. If he's got a dad bod, then I'm built like a plate of mashed potatoes.
01:03:12
Speaker
Oh, shit. So they like find his toupee on the stove. what was it? Gale finds it and screams, and they find his toupee on the stove. Bonnie. Bonnie does. Yeah, that's right.
01:03:25
Speaker
My bad. And, you know, yeah Ray writes that letter. says, i have your dog. What? I have your dog, yeah. it's a set up It's a setup for later. Yeah.
01:03:40
Speaker
for more of For more of Tom Hanks' signature screaming. Yeah, dude, it's great. So Art's in the basement at this point. Ray's just chilling down there and trying to convince, you know, that Walter was a human sacrifice.
01:03:56
Speaker
Ray's just starts... What's the book that they have? I forget what it was. It's some crazy demonology book or some shit. some Yeah, it's like their version of the Evil Dead Necronomicon. It's got cool pictures in it and everything and a leather leather cover and all that.
01:04:14
Speaker
yeah Yeah, yeah. Certainly not a book that really exists, but it's really cool. It's cool. It's a book definitely I'd like to have. It's sweet. Cool pictures.
01:04:25
Speaker
I like good pictures and books. I like pictures too, Kevin. And then books and then boxes with pages. That way they's less reading. Yeah, them's less reading.
01:04:40
Speaker
So yeah, Ray starts chanting like as as Art's trying to tell him. He just doesn't want to hear his shit anymore. And he's like, I'm not going to listen to this. I'm not going to hear this now.
01:04:51
Speaker
And Art's like, you're chanting. What was his chant? ah What? what was this che I want to kill everyone. Satan is good. Satan is our pal. Ray, you're chanting. Ray.
01:05:08
Speaker
Ray, look. Ray. Unconscious chanting. You're chanting. here it is now I want to kill everyone. Satan is good. too Satan is our pal. i'm not great Ray.
01:05:19
Speaker
You're chanting. You know, it's... She's like, you're already caught up in it, Ray. i haven't seen this movie in so long, but I always remember that chant. Yeah, I do too.
01:05:30
Speaker
and And I'm not ashamed to say that I repeat it in company that's where it's not ah appropriate. Yeah, there's some times I've done it when I just didn't want to listen to somebody and I thought it'd be funny to just say, I'm not going to listen to this.
01:05:45
Speaker
Satan is good. Satan is her pal. the book here isn't here it is The book is called The Theory and Practice of Demonology. yeah
01:05:56
Speaker
Which, I need a copy of that. Yeah, it's it's a cool book. Because my neighbors be bugging when I mow the lawn. I need to start practicing demonology.
01:06:10
Speaker
Yeah. Carol is like, now it cuts to them in bed and they're looking at that book that book or whatever and she's trying to understand why they think the Klopeks are Satanists and you know why they think all this stuff. It is crazy though that if you're not like...
01:06:28
Speaker
it is crazy though that if you're not like if you're not like um
01:06:36
Speaker
I don't know how to explain it. If you're not what most people would, what people would call normie, I suppose, ah they immediately say devil worshiper. Yeah. Why is that the default?
01:06:50
Speaker
But it is. I mean, it's like that now. I mean, you know, it's what it is. know, it still is. in 2025 and people are still like that. Yeah,
01:07:00
Speaker
yeah yeah It's just what it is. It's, you know, simple minds at the time. And obviously around this time, the satanic panic was huge. So, um you know, it just added into that, you know, was a big era of the satanic panic.
01:07:15
Speaker
So. Yeah. The West Memphis three, i think it was. It was say as right around there. Yeah. This all around that time, so this movie fed right into it. like Yeah, that was like the boiling point of the satanic panic. That was what made everybody kind of feel stupid.
01:07:34
Speaker
ah Right, and I mean, it was easy to make a movie. All you had to do was put, these are Satan worshippers, and everybody's like, holy shit, this is going to be, you know, it already paints a picture for you, you know. Them boys listen to Metallica. Metallica? Yeah.
01:07:49
Speaker
Metallica? I can't even understand what they're saying. Metallica? That's pure devil music. Yeah. I found out, I realized the other day that Metallica, the Black Album, came out 91. Yeah, yeah, it did.
01:08:09
Speaker
metallic Metallica as a band is recorded as being formed in 81.
01:08:18
Speaker
That means Metallica has only been good for 10 years. They've sucked dog shit for 30. Oh my God.
01:08:29
Speaker
They've sucked such a fat cock. Man, as soon as the Black Album came out, I mean, it's okay, but it's definitely, that was like the ah start of the end, you know?
01:08:41
Speaker
ah Yeah, it was definite definitely. They didn't write a good song after that, in my opinion. Yeah, it didn't have... Come at me, bro! Come at me, bro! They're also dealing with Lars' fucking hydrocephalic head.
01:09:00
Speaker
Yeah, this hydrocephalic ego And also, like, you know, not having Cliff Burton, because, I mean, let's be honest here, Cliff Burton was like their big, their backbone of a lot of their songs. What are talking about?
01:09:14
Speaker
Yeah. What are you talking about? Peyton Mustaine. Yeah. Hello, me. Yeah, I know. Yeah, me the real me. Hello, me. Me the real me.
01:09:26
Speaker
And I miss it, way of life. but du black press my but Are you puzzle ten
01:09:36
Speaker
are you speaking in tongues? I'm speaking in Megadeth. I'm speaking in Megamustane.
01:09:50
Speaker
that's how you That's how you got to talk to Dave Mustaine. ah the You know, the ah so Ray's flipping through TV, and here's my man. What channels is he watching? Because he so he was watching Race with the Devil.
01:10:03
Speaker
Yeah. Then he switched to The Exorcist. And yeah then... Texas Chainsaw 2. A favorite of ours, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Yep.
01:10:14
Speaker
yep What fucking channels did he have? That's fucking, or is that part of his dream? Was he dreaming that he was watching those shows?
01:10:26
Speaker
No, I think that's what he was falling asleep to. My thing was, you had three banger movies at going on at the same time, and it's like I would be so mad because I would be like, what am I watching? you know I would probably put it on Exorcist, but then I'd be like, well you know like I would 100% put it on Texas Chainsaw.
01:10:48
Speaker
Now, if it was Exorcist 3, I'd have to flip a coin. Yeah. Because I know it's sacrilege, but to me, Exorcist 3 is the best. sex Oh, that's phenomenal, man.
01:10:59
Speaker
But I also think Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is the best Texas Chainsaw Massacre. So. Yeah. Begin with the lynching. I don't care.
01:11:11
Speaker
everybody's got their love. I'll tell you one more thing. Jaws 3 is my favorite fucking Jaws movie. yeah I love that Jaws as well. that's one That's one movie that I can definitely watch. fucking it.
01:11:24
Speaker
It takes me right back to childhood, man. Every time I watch it, I can remember exactly where I was. When I watched it. the At the end with the shark approaching the underwater. Yes. Fucking whatever thing.
01:11:38
Speaker
Yeah. I like that. It looks fucking stupid. Yeah. But even as a kid, though, you don't you you could tell it's fake, but it was still scary as fuck. You know what I'm saying? Just because, you know, like it was. But it didn't look as fake then as obviously, you know what I'm saying? But it was like.
01:11:56
Speaker
You knew was, but it was still creepy as fuck. Or what? the The fucking head that's full or the body that's ate up floating around and shit. Oh, awesome. But, but, you know, Texas Chainsaw Massacre has Bill Moseley. Well, it does.
01:12:12
Speaker
And he is he alone elevates that movie. You know, ah and ah Brad Dourif, Dourif, however you say his name, in Exorcist 3, the best fucking man.
01:12:30
Speaker
One of the best performances from an actor in a horror movie, period. Well, I will say extra yeah in in the realm of Exorcist three, I will definitely, I'll definitely put my balls on the table and say it's, it's got probably one of the, it's another cast, like a phenomenal cast and everybody's like acting amazing. Like everybody clicks in that movie.
01:12:54
Speaker
the detective, you know, the father, all that stuff, man. Um, and the story alone, how it came back around, you know, it's, I don't know. It's, it's a fucking damn good movie, dude. It's, it's a hard one not to pass up.
01:13:10
Speaker
So, so, anyway, sorry back to the movie. he So Ray has a nightmare that night and this is just a small um observation, but I wonder how they did it because it seems like it would be harder to do it this way, but when the chainsaw comes through the wall at the beginning of his dream... Yeah, when he's walking down the stairs.
01:13:36
Speaker
It's upside down. Well, yeah. the The name on the blade is upside down, so the chainsaw, however they had it mounted, would have had to been upside... is It's a very small nitpick, but I was like, what the fuck? It would have been easier to do it the other way. Well, this might be going deeper into why they why they may have done it, but I don't know if you've ever read about when you have dreams, you can't read in your dreams.
01:14:03
Speaker
All the letters are switched up, or they're upside down, or they're backwards. Like, um... You know what I'm saying? I don't know if that's why or if it was just a fuck it. It's there. We mounted it upside down and it's there. No one's going to notice it, you know, because it's not a long scene, you know.
01:14:21
Speaker
I don't remember my dreams, unfortunately, but ah I believe you. Yeah, that's okay. so's not Maybe it's like dream dicks, that's a Freudian slip.
01:14:36
Speaker
Yeah, that is. That's what you dream about a lot of dicks. Yeah. These dicks keep poking me. These dicks keep coming at me. Keep poking me awake.
01:14:51
Speaker
Yeah, so I have this Burb shirt that I got from Shout Out Discount Cemetery because he makes some of the... the um coolest shirts but it's set up like Texas Chainsaw Massacre it says who will survive and what will be left of them but it's that scene of Tom Hanks walking down to the stairs with the chainsaw coming through the wall it's incredible but I just had to put that out there it's so much fun I like it a lot I like it a lot shout out shout out
01:15:22
Speaker
Yeah, the dream sequence is kind of cool. and yes now They take the edge off by ah subtle adding like comedy into it. Oh, yeah.
01:15:34
Speaker
Because he's basically on a big grill like you would have at a cookout. Neighborhood cookout, yeah. Instead of having him on an open fire or anything, they put him on. Yeah, it's on it's on charcoal. Yeah.
01:15:50
Speaker
yeah yeah And doesn't Art come in as the murderer that he was explaining earlier? Yeah, he's dressed up as Skip.
01:16:02
Speaker
yeah And then it cuts to you and your cat going down into a the barrel. Or backing down. to You have an axe in your head and there's like a little tiny axe.
01:16:13
Speaker
Yeah, a little tiny axe for the kitty. Dude, that shit cracked me up too. Like, Walter and Queenie, and she had like a little axe in her head. Like, he had a little axe in his head. It's so stupid.
01:16:30
Speaker
They made one for little Queenie. Yeah. ah Buffalo Bill's not gonna be happy about this. Yeah, du that shit's fucking funny. That's how you're gonna found.
01:16:45
Speaker
Little accents. But again, like the, the soundtrack's awesome. through All of this, just, just, you know, and when, what's he say, uh, there's the chanting that I'm not going to listen to. This is going on in the whole background. Like everything art was doing.
01:17:05
Speaker
And then when he, uh, I think the chanting is the, I want to kill everyone. Oh, is it that? Okay, yeah. Yeah, you're right. It is that. I thought it was the whole thing, like both of them.
01:17:18
Speaker
It's similar similar melody, but yeah, it's I want to kill everyone chant. And Dr. Vena Klopek, who we haven't even met yet.
01:17:31
Speaker
Yeah.
01:17:33
Speaker
dabs stabs Ray tells him the mind your own business yeah mind your own business asshole and that scene cause he's like coming down with a dagger and he's like oh ah that always feels like a roller coaster mind your own business asshole So we get a smash cut to Mr. Rogers from the dream, which I think is fucking incredible.
01:18:02
Speaker
It's so awesome. In the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor. Because we were like right in that roller coaster with the with the fucking dagger coming down and race screaming and it cuts right to Mr. Rogers singing, dude.
01:18:14
Speaker
Awesome. And Kevin's favorite part when Mark and Art come over to Ray's house to try to get him to come out with him. when I fucking love this fucking part.
01:18:28
Speaker
When we talked about ah watching this movie, Kevin couldn't wait to tell me about this scene.
01:18:38
Speaker
It's so fucking stupid, dude. It's the most subtle little thing, but it made his day. Yeah, it's funny every fucking time. It never is not funny. Yeah, so the next morning, Ray's like drinking his orange juice with Vince watching Mr. Rogers and Mark and Art run over to Ray's house, like couple of 16 year olds, some kids, 12 year olds to come out with them.
01:19:05
Speaker
and Carol comes out and tells them he's not allowed to come out because, you know, he's basically fucking grounded. And they're like, oh, come on. And then she fucking turns around. She's like, what she says. She's like, I believe I made myself clear. Sorry, boys. My husband's not feeling well. He has to stay in his room.
01:19:22
Speaker
he was bad Come on, please, Carol. Let him come out. Come on. He can't come out until he resembles the man that I married. Carol, we don't have that kind of time.
01:19:34
Speaker
Please let him come out. Come on. I think that I have given you my answer.
01:19:41
Speaker
And they start fucking kicking the ground and stuff and just pouting.
01:19:48
Speaker
And then rightly right after that, they go up and ring the Clopax doorbell and take off running like ding dong ditch. Yeah. Yeah. And they, they, um,
01:20:00
Speaker
They do lot ah kind of a payoff to earlier because they put the he he put slides a note under Art slides a note under the door and it says, what does it say? We know what you did. Yeah, we know what you did.
01:20:17
Speaker
and they ring the doorbell and run away. yeah Yeah, that's what it was. It's still like kid shit. you know like It's so fucking funny. But this is kind of related to earlier when um when Ray wrote the note that says, i have we have your dog or whatever for Walter's house.
01:20:38
Speaker
Signed, Ray. yeah Yeah, that's setting up a little
Mystery and Humor in the Klopek Household
01:20:42
Speaker
thing there. Yeah. saying there yeah And then the whole time there... ah Well, and Art goes to tell Ray what he did, and the whole time Vince is digging a hole under the fence to get into the Klopek's yard.
01:20:58
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, he's trying to get in there. He's smelling something, but this fucking scene, too holy shit, when Ray's just trying to, like... like like rest. and This is one of the freak first of his big freak outs in the rest of the movie and he's like I'm only trying to take a nap. I'm only trying to sleep. I'm only trying to get some goddamn rest.
01:21:20
Speaker
ah Yeah. Yeah. this Fucking love it. This is classic Tom Hanks. This is Tom Hanks that we love. Yeah, this is he's starting to light up now. you know what I'm saying? We're going to see this a lot more, which I love too because you're seeing his transition through this whole movie.
01:21:37
Speaker
you know He was trying to get out and they pulled him right back into the shit.
01:21:44
Speaker
And they're arguing about it and ah Art tells him that he put the the note under his door and he says and he says they're gonna think it's me. Yeah, because it's their next door neighbor's.
01:21:57
Speaker
Well, because he put the note under Walter's door. Yeah. noticed he did that. And the whole time they're arguing, Vince is bringing a bone to Art and Art throws it for him.
01:22:13
Speaker
Yeah, he's just like, don't even think about it He's just throwing this fucking femur. Playing fetch with him.
01:22:22
Speaker
Yeah, and and then i put it then they put it together when ah Vince brings the bone back. He's like, ah the the you know, and he asked him where he got it from, and he said he got it from digging a hole under the fence to the Klopek's yard, but... Yeah. I don't know.
01:22:41
Speaker
He, like, throws the note back over, and then when they figure out they have a fucking bone that zoom-in shot...
01:22:51
Speaker
It zooms in back and forth really quick. Yeah, like yeah like um Wayne's World. yeah Yeah. Yeah. ah well Yeah. oh And then he goes to go inside, right? And then ah fucking Carol fucking like opens the door and hits him in the fucking head.
01:23:12
Speaker
And he fucking grabs those fucking beer cans and like crushes them and throws them down. Yeah.
01:23:21
Speaker
She's like, you feel better now? Do you feel better?
01:23:27
Speaker
this like this is like the boiling point where the ladies have to intervene. And they decide that everybody needs to get together and go introduce themselves to the Klopeks.
01:23:39
Speaker
Yeah, they're going to do it the adult way. Which sounds like a good plan, but me being like the Klopeks, that's a goddamn nightmare.
01:23:50
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, do not come to my house. Yeah, don't come to my fucking house. I don't want to have sardines and pretzels with your ass.
01:24:01
Speaker
Them sardines is for me Dude, ah when they're walking and...
01:24:10
Speaker
And he's fucking holding that pie like straight up in the air. Like the whole way. It's like all perfect, like up in the air. are the brownies. They're brownies, that's right.
01:24:24
Speaker
Yeah, and ah we finally get to see the inside of the Klopax house. Yeah, Hans answers. Yeah, my man Hans. I fucking love Courtney Gaines, man.
01:24:38
Speaker
He drops the brownies. He goes, said Marcus, there go the goddamn brownies. I'm going to watch. I'm going to have to watch Children of the Corn tonight.
01:24:49
Speaker
Yeah. Outlander. just Just because poor, he only has a couple lines in this movie. He says, like, it came with the frame.
01:25:02
Speaker
Yes. He's like, is your mother home? Yeah. Sardine. ah My uncle, what, Werner? yeah he only had He barely speaks in this role, but it's still great. He's fucking awesome in this.
01:25:19
Speaker
Yeah, it's all like performance. Miming performance, basically. He's like, is your mother home? And then he picks up that picture and he's like, oh, who's this? It came with the frame.
01:25:32
Speaker
It came with the frame. Yeah. But we get introduced to Ruben. Ruben Klopek. Yes. who is Who is kind of deaf in real life, which is why he yells his lines, because he can't even fucking hear himself.
01:25:51
Speaker
Yeah. He was in ah another couple movies almost playing the same kind of part. Like a weird, you know, he was just the weird old, you know, Slavic dude, you know. The doctor.
01:26:02
Speaker
Meanwhile, Ricky and Dave, who are best friends,
01:26:09
Speaker
art sneak into the backyard. Yeah. Ricky, Ricky, quit hanging out with Dave. He's fucking 10 years old. You pervert. Yeah.
01:26:22
Speaker
Yep, so they're they're fucking doing that shit. They're like trying to just... oh it's It's so fucking funny. Mark is like being... Well, while they're while they're sitting around, Mark is just being... You know, anybody that comes over my house, I assume they're gonna be like Mark where he's fucking peeling the wallpaper and hitting pipes and shit.
01:26:45
Speaker
being snooping you know oh yeah and he's like overboard snooping in this too which is great he fucking peels that wallpaper off and he's like oh shit and also he's like keeps turning that painting you know what i'm saying like yeah it's up he turned it upside down yeah But man, that that whole scene, like when they're just sitting there and it's just so fucking awkward and the tension, it's like when he's coming around offering sardines on pretzels to everybody and it's just so tense.
01:27:21
Speaker
You just can't glaze over the sweetest angel Hans offering sardines and pretzels to everybody. While I was getting to that, I was going to come around to that because this is a funny fucking part too. so you know Hans is you know offering his sardines to like the ladies and stuff and and they're both like they're they're like, no, no, thank you.
01:27:45
Speaker
And then Carol takes a pretzel and she's like, no, no. So then he goes over to to Ray and asks him and Carol's like you better take that sardine and pretzel and be polite to the guests you know put it put it all on him yeah after they denied it she fucking she fucking got him so he had to do it to make sure you know Carol totally pegs Ray right yeah oh yeah she fucking got him dude so 100% So he puts this fucking sardine pretzel in his mouth and it is like one of the most disgusting scenes like ever.
01:28:22
Speaker
Cause he's just slowly like chewing it and you can just hear it just pop in and just, oh, it's so you could just feel like how nasty it is, you know? ah my God.
01:28:36
Speaker
And then he, but he takes it, you know, like he's like, okay. Okay. um And then we get the introduction to Werner Klopek. Werner. Werner Klopek. I love when he shakes Rey's hand, he clicks his little heels. Yeah.
01:28:55
Speaker
He does, too. ah He comes out like the shadow looks like this big, imposing character, and then he walks out and he looks like the sweetest little imp. Yeah, and the music changes too. Like, it goes into this... and Like, when he comes up, so you're like, what the fuck is going on? Like, this little not little Nazi guy.
01:29:18
Speaker
Is that verified paint or blood? Is that really paint? they had They never really say. I mean, we may as well assume it's blood, because we know what the ending is, but, you know...
01:29:30
Speaker
Well, at this point of the movie, because and when they shot this movie, they had not written an ending. So at this point of the movie, it was still open. Yeah. They did not have a set.
01:29:43
Speaker
Where they were going with They had no fucking idea how they were going
Confrontations and Comedic Chaos
01:29:48
Speaker
to end this movie. Yeah. So I guess that's why it looks like paint. You know, it kind of looks could look could be either.
01:29:57
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Especially since we see the painting and then Werner goes over and fucking turns it right. And but I'll say since we know what we know, we'll agree that it's blood.
01:30:14
Speaker
Yeah, we'll just say that. But my man Mark, he's like, why don't we cut out all this polite crap? All right. He said, what's the weird goddamn noise you got coming from the basement all the time? Why don't we just cut all this polite crap, all right?
01:30:30
Speaker
What's the weird goddamn noise you got coming out of here all the time? I think that we should go. What have you got in the cellar hair, Klopek? Mark! Dude, he does not give a fuck. I know, everybody's like, chill, fucking Mark. You're like, Mark, you motherfucker.
01:30:45
Speaker
Yeah.
01:30:49
Speaker
He's like, what's that fucking noise? All the time. Cut the shit, Clopek. To be fair, like I said earlier, I feel sympathy for the Clopeks, but I do, I would have a problem with all the fucking noise.
01:31:04
Speaker
Yeah. You're trying to get up in the morning for work. Yeah, I'm trying to wake up and you guys got a spaceship taking off in your basement. i What the fuck? yeah right Right? I mean, that is the one thing I agree with Mark on.
01:31:22
Speaker
Because honestly, everyone in this movie a fucking asshole except for Hans. Yeah, yeah. In my opinion. yeah Hans is a sweet angel. ah he's Well, he's he's being gaslit, you know what I'm saying? Because he's a part of the family. He's the heir. He's being groomed.
01:31:40
Speaker
he's the last of the Yeah. the yeah hes ah last of the line yeah hey you here Is Ruben his father? I wonder how, where are the Clopek women? i would have loved to have seen one of them.
01:31:56
Speaker
Oh, don't know. I bet they are lovely women. It would have been kind of funny if they had like super hot women playing the Clopek girls. That'd be funny.
01:32:08
Speaker
Kind of like the Munsters, you know? Yeah. It is like that where the Munsters, like, that was some of the that's some of my most favorite shit about the Munsters because they always thought Marilyn was scary and ugly. Yeah. They always called her ugly.
01:32:23
Speaker
and She was, like, completely normal. Ugly ass, bitch. You know, like, everybody looks weird. She was, like, a hot blonde Yeah, and they kept calling her ugly. They kept saying jokes to her, like, all the time. They'd be like, oh, Marilyn, it's understandable, blah, blah, blah. Like...
01:32:40
Speaker
we know you're ugly kind of shit. like ah and And then there's kids like me and Kevin who was watching that like, yeah, Lily's the shit. yeah like yeah but Marilyn can go fuck herself.
01:32:57
Speaker
Right? So they weren't too far off the mark there. yeah the weirdos The weirdos were definitely with Lily. yeah yeah Yvonne was a goddess of her day for sure.
01:33:09
Speaker
And I'm kind of like Herman in real life anyway. Yeah, yeah i think we both are. We're both pretty much Hermans. Big dumb idiots. yeah
01:33:21
Speaker
Yeah. Our heads are at least about the same size as his. so Yeah, the more water, the more strength. right Remember that, kids. That's right. That's what's going to keep you going.
01:33:32
Speaker
you if you 10% more water on the brain means 10% more muscle on the arm. Yeah. So now i this movie's this movie is getting ready to turn the fuck up because... So they go back... Well, we get the scene where...
01:33:52
Speaker
fucking Ray starts doing that sneeze thing and he like grabs that paper and he's just like this obscene ass fucking sneeze or cough or fucking something that he does like damn near like vomits in this fucking thing. And he's like, I got to go to the bathroom and he runs to their bathroom and that's the last we see a Ray for a moment. Right.
01:34:12
Speaker
And then, um, art and them are outside pulling their shit and they see movement in the basement, you know, and, mark ah Mark lets the horse out. Yeah, he fucking opens the door fucking, why did you have a horse in the basement?
01:34:30
Speaker
He's like, well, he's like, you got a horse? Yeah, I know. His fucking big Great Dane, Landrew or whatever. Yeah, and it goes after fucking art.
01:34:41
Speaker
yeah Yeah, it goes after art. And that's the scene where, uh, weren't not Werner. Uh, Ruben says, or Werner asks, they've there's another one. Yeah.
01:34:53
Speaker
Right. And Ruben says, a fat one. That's where I was like, he's not even fat. Yeah.
01:35:03
Speaker
He's like, he's got a dad bod at best. Yeah. he's He's barely fat at all. I mean, compared to 2025 standards, right?
01:35:16
Speaker
Yeah. Man, 1989. That doesn't seem that long ago for the whole country to have gained 100 pounds. Yeah.
01:35:29
Speaker
That's what it is, man.
01:35:32
Speaker
So they get back to Ray's and Ray like puts on the mask of, um, you know, I'm not, I'm going to put an end to this, you know, kind of shit. So we, you know, agrees with Bonnie and Carol and Carol's like, you know, you finally come around and he's like, come on boys, let's go to the den, you know?
01:35:51
Speaker
um And they start fucking busted his balls because they think he took there his wife's side now, you know, calling him chicken shit and everything again. and they're like, yeah, you're talking about him not having any balls. So he reaches up into his shorts and like, they're like, you don't got to show us.
01:36:11
Speaker
And he's like violently like grabbing up inside his fucking shorts and he pulls out fucking Walter's toupee. Walter's piece. Yeah, Walter's piece that he found stuff between some magazines that were addressed to Walter. Then Mark looks at fucking Ray and he's like, what do we do now, soldier?
01:36:31
Speaker
So now it's full now it's on. Like, it's getting ready go ham. While Ray was in the bathroom pooping out that fucking sardine. Yeah. and Oh, yeah.
01:36:45
Speaker
yeah So funny. So they get a plan together, and the next morning they they watch the Klopeks drive out of town, which I don't know how they knew this was going to happen. Did they so mention something about leaving? the I guess they must have.
01:37:01
Speaker
there go they I think they were talking about that they because they're doing some convention or something the doctor has to do at the university or something. So they had that project happening. So that was their green light to fucking go for it i And I'll tell you when ray when ah Ray gets Carol and Dave to visit her sister, then Art comes over dressed like a golfer.
01:37:25
Speaker
yeah yeah that has That has to be a deep cut costume, man. I'm going to go to a horror convention at some point dressed like that and see if anyone gets it.
01:37:36
Speaker
Because I know the Burbs isn't technically horror. The Burbs isn't technically horror. It's more of a comedy. It's a dark comedy. It's a black yeah you know like a dark black comedy or whatever.
01:37:48
Speaker
yeah horror comedy I would say it's a horror comedy honestly like i that's what I would say it's definitely a horror comedy it's like but but I need to get that costume together because that would be fucking hilarious if anyone recognized what it was from yeah yeah arts cost arts golfer costume it's fucking hilarious yeah
01:38:15
Speaker
And of course, Mark, you know, comes out of his house in camo. Of course. Because he is, i guess, a former Marine or something.
01:38:27
Speaker
Oh, he's ready rock and roll, man. Like, it's all getting wound up. He's like fucking...
01:38:35
Speaker
Oh my God. Ricky, who we kind of forgot about still is, is still in this movie. And I guess he wasn't in a lot of these scenes because he's supposedly too young. You know, he's like a kid in this movie. Yeah. But, but I don't know. He's like somewhere between 16 and 30. Yeah.
01:38:56
Speaker
yeah He's that, that, uh, amazing eighties teenager. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah. Yeah man I knew Yeah man I'm like 25 maybe I'm 19 I don't know man 16 But he starts getting a party together man Fuck yeah with the pizza dude Yeah the pizza dude Now, they said they said he had porn stars on the set, but they didn't say if they were male or female. yeah what if fuck What if he had Ron Jeremy hogging him out? No.
01:39:33
Speaker
Still hungry? Starving? What is porn stars from the late eighty s Yeah. oh We got ah Ron Jeremy. i don't That might be the only one I know.
01:39:48
Speaker
set, railing old Ricky. You ready for this scene, bro? yeah But our now Art... Now, Art's dress is an electrician, and then he's gonna climb the power lines because they have... Because the Klopeks have electrical fences and alarms and all kinds of shit set up.
01:40:10
Speaker
So, Art's plan is to cut the fucking power. Yeah. And he climbs the fucking electric lines, and he cuts a... He cuts a wire.
01:40:21
Speaker
i i don't fucking know. Yeah, like, he drops the plans, uh... once he gets all the way up to the to line to fucking cut it, like he knows how to do this for some reason. Like he mapped out where they routed the electrical line that runs all their shit. Right.
01:40:39
Speaker
So he drops the fucking, he drops the fucking map. Yeah. He just fucking cut. He just took everything out and then it fucking blew him the fuck up. And he goes flying through the top of their fucking shed. Yeah.
01:40:55
Speaker
you You see when they show the whole, it's in the shape of him. I know. And it's fucking stupid, dude. I love it. Like the Kool-Aid man. Yeah, it went all, like, fucking acne, like Looney Tunes. Like, it's awesome. Like, what if what a funny little part of the thing.
01:41:16
Speaker
But, man, he fucking comes out, and this scene, too, he looks like he's in, so you could just feel his, like, pain it almost makes you feel like you're on fire too because he's just ah touching his fillings and they're all like sizzling feel fillings are hot and mark gives him a fucking smelling salt he's clearly awake and mark still gives him a smelling salt think it was a popper i think he gave him a popper actually and because he starts fucking his eyes about went in back of his head and he about went back and he was like whoa whoa whoa soldier
01:41:51
Speaker
His fingernails are black. Yeah. yala lago sees Yeah. dead.
01:41:58
Speaker
No after midnight. I'm your best nightmare.
01:42:11
Speaker
But really, who would read this? always did that. I always totally won't do that. If anybody reads this, I'm not sorry. If anybody reads this, I'm not But really, who would read this?
01:42:30
Speaker
Darkness, hear me now. I leave this world. Incredible.
01:42:38
Speaker
incredible
01:42:42
Speaker
Our heart went full goth. Yeah. It fucking shocked him goth.
01:42:49
Speaker
I done been shocked. They shocked me goth.
01:42:54
Speaker
Moving on. Yeah. um good We're fucking dumb. Yeah, so...
01:43:05
Speaker
He hits him with that They see that like, uh, he sees Mark on the roof with the gun and asks the way he has a gun. And he says, well shut up and paint your goddamn house.
01:43:19
Speaker
Hey, hey, hey, Rumsfield, dude, what are you doing with the gun? Shut up and paint your goddamn house. Whoa.
01:43:29
Speaker
Yeah, that's why i thought Ricky owned the house. yeah Because Mark marx says, shut the fuck up and paint your goddamn house. Well, yeah, because he's clearly not been painting this entire weekend as he's been supposed to. so and Everybody's out of town, you know, so...
01:43:46
Speaker
and there and And later later that day, right art and Ray digging... Well, Ray is digging holes. Art's kind of just...
01:43:58
Speaker
laying around doing nothing. Yeah. They're digging up holes in the Klopek's backyard. Mm-hmm. And it's, they're huge, well, Ray's digging holes in the Klopek's backyard.
01:44:10
Speaker
Right, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, Art's like, Art's just, they're like, oh, boy, boy, boy, it's gonna be nice if you dug some of your own holes. He is the fat one. Yeah. He's like, maybe we could go look, do something inside where it's not as hot.
01:44:26
Speaker
Yeah. And guess who's digging in the basement? Ray? Art's not doing shit, man. He's the fat one. So they go up to the fucking back deck to break in or whatever, and of course Art pulls his fucking wallet out and every credit card's melted together.
01:44:45
Speaker
Yeah, because he done been electrocuted. So Ray takes his credit card out and he's like, where'd do you learn how to do this? He's like, I have And it snaps his fucking card in half. ah He smashes the window. Yeah, he just smashes it.
01:44:59
Speaker
He's like, Ray, that's breaking and entering. Really? Like it wasn't before. just because the difference is if you break a window, right? Yeah. ah So stupid.
01:45:13
Speaker
It's so fucking funny when they go down in the basement and they find that giant furnace and Art's like, is a thermostat in a house supposed to go to 5,000 degrees? Yeah.
01:45:25
Speaker
There's all these fucking, like, gauges and shit everywhere. It's clearly a crematorium. Yeah, it's something used to vaporize bodies.
01:45:36
Speaker
So burn. Burn the flames. Higher. And higher. And higher. So burn. Some favor.
01:45:49
Speaker
yeah Some favor. i could work that goddamn thing. Yeah. i yeah Some favor. burn. ah so
01:46:01
Speaker
Another incredible soundtrack. That's actually got an amazing fucking soundtrack. My God. So they start the furnace up in the basement and a flame just fucking blasts out of this motherfucker.
01:46:12
Speaker
And yeah, it gets the attention of all Ricky, all the kids in Ricky's yard.
01:46:18
Speaker
Whoa, man. You really know how to throw a party, man. And this whole sequence of events is hilarious too. So like Ricky, like Mark drops that fucking scope or whatever. And he goes to get, or he drops his gun, right? And he goes to get that. Ricky yells at him, which causes Mark to fucking slip and fall off the roof. Once he hits the ground, he fucking blasts the hole through a car window, which sets off the alarms.
01:46:46
Speaker
ah cars hits the ground and shoots his gun yeah and all the retards over in fucking ricky's yard are like yeah oh my god yeah
01:47:02
Speaker
bro say that i say that but those are probably us back then oh absolutely it it was us it was us bro
01:47:12
Speaker
ah Except we were like, but really, who would read this? so Yeah, dude. That was jumping out of the bushes on LARPers and shit.
01:47:26
Speaker
other But, you know, all this, all this, they fucking, uh, all, ah they, they basically think they found what they were looking for. You know, they don't really find anything.
01:47:39
Speaker
Right. ah But the clopex arrived back home with the police and Art tells Ricky to keep them busy. Well, first, well, first what happens is, like, they see a fucking, don't they see the Klopeks come, and then they back out. They try, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. It drives in reverse all the way outside, like,
01:48:04
Speaker
the neighborhood, and then fucking another car pulls up, and ah yeah and it's fucking Walter. Walter, yeah, they realize Walter's not dead. Yeah, my fault. My bad. No, you're good. No, but yeah, Mark's on the horn, and he's like, we got a big problem here, you know, like...
01:48:23
Speaker
I just watched Walter get out of the fucking car, you know, and they're putting back inside. The man who they're down in the basement looking for. Yeah, digging a big hole in the basement because they found loose dirt in front of the furnace.
01:48:37
Speaker
So... yeah They hit... Like, Ray ends up fucking... um He's digging and digging and he hits something hard and he tells Art he found something. So they're all excited.
01:48:48
Speaker
Fucking. yeah that's what happens. So Art goes outside and then that's when Ricky runs up to Art saying like, hey, blah, blah, look, look, look. And that's when Walter comes out.
01:48:59
Speaker
And then the fucking Klopeks come back with the police. And at that point, like by the time art gets down there, fucking Ray hit the fucking gas line. The water starts boiling and shit.
01:49:12
Speaker
he's like, hit the gas line. They all run out. And as soon as everybody fucking pulls up, their fucking house explodes into a ball of fire. Just like the last four properties that they lived at.
01:49:25
Speaker
so what an excellent come around to the story of them you know what I'm saying like once again they blew up yet another fucking house you know within four years and when Ray comes out of the house he is fucked up yes and that makeup dude again you feel this motherfuckers pain dude like they fucked his ass up man his eye is swollen shut his hand as fuck but He's missing hair on the side of his fucking head.
01:49:57
Speaker
was so cool that they didn't just be like, oh, he's in a house explosion. They really did good. you know On the effects as far as injuries in this, they did them so good. like They made you feel their pain in this movie.
01:50:16
Speaker
They're silly. you know From all their follies, were feeling their pain in this. like It's incredible. And Mark, being an asshole, told Ruben he's got a lawsuit on his
01:50:31
Speaker
hands. He does! does! You got a lawsuit on your hands, mister! Up to this point, they've been nothing but fucking with the Clopax. This whole time, dude.
01:50:42
Speaker
And Mark threatens Ruben with a lawsuit. Yeah, dude. Because his friends broke into his house and blew it up. After they all like strategically made this plan to break into this fucking house.
01:50:56
Speaker
you're Right. Yeah. Fucking asshole. Yeah, dude. Oh, my God. So good. And Carol drives back into town with Queenie and Vince, and they see that the whole town is fucked, basically. There's yeah people everywhere.
01:51:14
Speaker
Shit's on fire. Fire trucks there. Police are there. Garbage still in the fucking street. Yeah. still get a shot of her driving over the fucking garbage.
01:51:26
Speaker
Like still, we see it when Walter comes home to that Taurus, they drive right over all that garbage pulling into his driveway. Yeah.
Resolution and Final Reflections
01:51:34
Speaker
but But we find out here that Walter was in the hospital for heart palpitations, and the Klopeks were just picking up their mail and got his wig mixed with ah letters magazines and such.
01:51:48
Speaker
So everyone is innocent at this point of the movie, right? Yeah, pretty much. I mean, the the neighborhood people, you know, Ray and this whole crew are are the assholes. You know, they're the normal ones.
01:52:01
Speaker
And Ray goes into that fucking rant, too, that, like, ah you know, we're the monsters, not them. They just want to be left alone. Like, it's people like us. We're the monsters, which was a great was a great like social commentary in a lot of ways because...
01:52:17
Speaker
people look that are different. Let's say, obviously this movie turns in the end, but like, yeah, they look at us and say like, we're serial killers and shit, but like all the serial killers that you see out there are just your normal ass looking motherfuckers, you know, like,
01:52:33
Speaker
This is what we were talking about earlier because he says, there the lon we're the lunatics. It's us, not them. Yeah. Right? Absolutely. And it's true. It's absolutely true up to this point because up to this point, the Cloepic, because they didn't know how they were going to end this movie. And essentially what happened is they caved to,
01:52:55
Speaker
um studios and such because they needed they didn't want to offend like yeah ah middle middle America right and they like we're not all like that yeah we're even though they are even though a majority of them are so So, yeah, the ending does take a twist, but the twist was kind of wedged in there. That wasn't how the movie was supposed to end.
01:53:22
Speaker
And, and um you know, nowadays, I think they would have ended it. but I think they would have ended it kind of after Ray's monologue where he tells how they're the monsters. And then Far Pan shot out to the earth again and then, you know, gone or whatever like they did.
01:53:42
Speaker
I could see that. So Carol, as we were talking about, yeah you know, she's like pushing her way through the crowd. The cops are trying to prevent her and she gets her way through and sees Ray and he's all bandaged all the fuck. You know, he's got like a fucking patch over one side of his head and he's all bandaged up and that, you know, and then he goes on his fucking rant and Art's like, what do you want me to do?
01:54:09
Speaker
move do so flower Yeah, because Art is basically who triggered Ray for his rant because he tells everyone they're going to dig up the rest of the skeleton that belongs to the femur. Yeah.
01:54:23
Speaker
yeah That's kind of what triggers Ray's... Like, leave him the fuck alone. Yeah. Yeah, leave them alone, man. they're there We're the ones that are the monsters. We're the ones fucking being treating these people like they're guilty of something that yeah we have no proof of. Yeah, absolutely.
01:54:45
Speaker
But this is when the movie takes a shift, because... Ray gets in the back of the ambulance. and Well, the whole part of him going into the ambulance, though, he after him and Art have, like, two fights, yeah and he goes, yes I'm sick.
01:55:04
Speaker
I'm sick. Take me to the hospital. And he lays down on the fucking stretcher for, like, a second, and then hops up and, like, does this temper tantrum and throws this fucking ther this fucking bed on in the ambulance and just jumps on it like a kid.
01:55:19
Speaker
He's like, yeah, I'm i'm sick. Take me to the hospital. And Carol's like, I'll just find out where they're taking you and meet you there. And he goes, OK, honey, thank you.
01:55:32
Speaker
Oh, in the it also in that detectives fucking going off on him, saying how renowned of a doctor ah Verner is, you know, and everything. And he just keeps telling Carol how nice her hair looks.
01:55:46
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. He's just done, and it's awesome. It's like, the acting is just amazing in this scene. It's so fucking funny, because he's just had a fuck enough, you know?
01:55:58
Speaker
This is another one of those Tom Hanks that we like. yeah You know, the old just yelling. Yeah, yeah. More so than acting Tom Hanks. I love him all the way up.
01:56:09
Speaker
You know, i still like him as an actor now, i but i do I will say that, like... Right. ah Saving Private Ryan was probably his last amazing fucking... Or I was like, holy shit. you know um Castaway was awesome too.
01:56:23
Speaker
um But I don't give a fuck. It was great movie. have made fire! Yeah, made fire. but yeah I don't know. but um They hear you know he's laying there, right? And what happens?
01:56:36
Speaker
Yeah, here's our twist. Here's our spin of the movie where Dr. Werner gets into the back of the ambulance and Ray's telling him that he's going to help pay to rebuild their house and everything. Yeah, yeah. And Werner says, come on, Mr. Peterson.
01:56:52
Speaker
yeah now Come on, Mr. Peterson. You were in the basement. Surely you looked into the furnace. You saw one of my skulls, didn't you?
01:57:03
Speaker
Oh, yes, I know you did. You belonged to your neighbor. Yeah. His name was Nap.
01:57:14
Speaker
yeah there' a They say they wanted to buy the house and he just wouldn't give in or something. like Yeah. They wouldn't agree, so they fucking killed.
01:57:25
Speaker
They killed them. They killed. They killed. He's rotting in a tub in the basement of Hell's Kitchen. Sorry, American Psycho.
01:57:38
Speaker
And Werner says, i let you ki i let you keep the femur. Now I want my skull. yeah Perhaps I'll just take yours.
01:57:51
Speaker
We see that Hans is driving the ambulance, and this is like the first time he really seems like he's a bad guy because he laughs. Oh, yeah, he's ready go. Yep.
01:58:02
Speaker
Yeah. Up to this point. See, that's another reason because Hans up to this point was like an innocent. Yeah. he He was ah sweet little angel.
01:58:13
Speaker
Yeah, he was. Then they were like, well, let's make him laugh maniacally. Yeah. Yeah. yeah So they're fucking fighting and shit, and he ends up grabbing Hans, which has cause causes Hans to wreck the ambulance, and the fucking... Is that when the back pops open, and they're out fucking...
01:58:36
Speaker
Well, they wreck into Art's house. Yeah, they wreck into Art's house. Yep. And the back pops open and the gurney starts going down the road with ah Ray and Werner in it.
01:58:48
Speaker
Vuna. Yeah, Vuna. And they're fighting, which is another awesome series of events. Like, I love their... it slapstick. You know, they how they incorporated that into this movie. Because it was just... It was well planned. Because then...
01:59:01
Speaker
they fucking They hit hit the Klopek's car and the trunk pops open, revealing all the fucking go the skeletons and the skulls in Klopek's car.
01:59:12
Speaker
Right. Which, side note, there were three two or three different ah versions of this where the trunk popped open because originally it was supposed to have cheerleaders in it. Oh, really? Yeah.
01:59:26
Speaker
Well, because at the time of shooting this movie, there was, ah I don't know who it was. There was a serial killer. There was someone killing a bunch of cheerleaders. So they were like, let's put cheerleaders in the trunk.
01:59:38
Speaker
And then they did another. I don't know. I don't know if they shot it, but it was then supposed to be the garbage men, you know, Walter Paisley. and And ah they finally settled on the skulls.
01:59:50
Speaker
But I really wish they would have done the garbage men in the trunk. That would have been really cool. Yeah, that would have been pretty sweet. Yeah, that would have been a ah fun come around, you know?
02:00:01
Speaker
but But once the trunk pops open, it goes to another one of Kevin's favorite scenes. Yeah, because Hans is trying to fucking get the fuck out of there and he fucking slips on dog shit just like Mark does in the beginning and then Mark goes to grab Hans and he slips on the dog shit too.
02:00:21
Speaker
He says, a pinocchio hey Pinocchio! hey Pinocchio!
02:00:26
Speaker
Poor guy. And you both hear him go, like in the fucking shit, dude. Yeah, fucking Mark grabs him and once he says, like, don't move, he's like, I'll snap your neck and something, I don't know.
02:00:42
Speaker
Oh, dude, incredible. Yeah, and um unfortunately, the Klopeks were guilty, I suppose. Yeah, in the end. If you're like me from this point on, you'll probably shut the movie off after Ray's monologue where he says that they're the bad people.
02:01:02
Speaker
Yeah, you could have it two ways. yeah That's the ending I prefer. Well, I love this ending just because of' the wraparound and just how they brought it together, and then Mark's like...
02:01:14
Speaker
Mark's like, hey, Art, your wife is home and the house is on fire. And Art's like, my wife is home. My wife is home. You look like someone saw a fucking ghost. Meanwhile, his house is on fire with an ambulance in it.
02:01:28
Speaker
Yeah, he doesn't give a shit about the house being on fire. He's just fucked because wife home. And the whole time he's calling everybody pussies for like listening to their wives and he's clearly scared to death of his wife. You know? I mean, I I need to watch this back and pause and zoom in because it looks like, uh, I swear it was him dressed up as a woman. Dude. I would believe every moment of that. Actually. Yeah.
02:01:54
Speaker
If you could do that, send me it. Cause I'd like to see it, but yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's they're getting there by the media at that point. Right.
02:02:05
Speaker
Yeah, and Ray and Carol finally agree to go on a vacation to get away from the neighborhood. and They ask Ricky to keep an eye on the neighborhood for them. Yeah. And basically, yeah, we get our final line from... ah ah Corey Feldman looks right at the camera and says, God, I love this street. he If you see Ricky Feldman in real life or not, Ricky Feldman, Corey Feldman.
02:02:38
Speaker
If you see Corey Feldman in real life, He's only Ricky Feldman when he wears that leather jacket in the movie. Yeah. Yeah. if you see Corey Feldman in real life, say, ask him if he loves, no, ask him if he loves hookers that he, you like prostitutes because I mean, yeah you know, Corey's angels.
02:03:04
Speaker
I'm well, I'm, you know, I mean, he had porn stars on the set, you know, I'm, I'm not a bitter hater. ah Good for him. yeah and I'm sure, uh, Ron Jeremy is a fine man.
02:03:21
Speaker
No, he's not. Right. I say that motherfucker's in jail right now, so never mind. No, he's not a good man. Who we got left?
02:03:33
Speaker
Peter North. I'm sure Peter North is a fine You had some quality time with him. Yeah. Well, about that part when during all the chaos and then the pizza guy comes in, doesn't the pizza guy like wreck or something? And Corey's Ricky's like, whoa, pizza, dude.
02:03:51
Speaker
I was going to say, i don't know who you're talking about. You mean the pizza dude? You mean the pizza dude? Are you not cool, Kevin?
02:04:02
Speaker
Not anymore, clearly. But just like it began and we zoom back out from the street to the universal globe and this wonderful movie has come to an end. Yeah, in scene.
02:04:19
Speaker
Yeah. And, uh, well, it came to an end for me about 10 minutes ago. Yeah. It always comes at this part and I'll always watch it anytime it's on. I will watch this fucking movie. This is like, we've talked about in the past, like what movies can you always put on, you know, return living dead, you know, obviously Donna the dead for you.
02:04:39
Speaker
i mean day of the dead i can always watch i can always watch donald ed too but you know any of the evil dead tremors is on that list yeah tremors burbs you know it's just they're just fun man you can always put them on and children of the corn yeah mistress of the dark elvira mean all these ones that we've covered we're just always put it on always watch it i think that we're real fortunate that we have that
02:05:06
Speaker
But a small spoiler next time we're covering one of the dumbest fucking movies ever made. Yeah, that is also one of the funniest. It is definitely one one another incredible film.
02:05:20
Speaker
And um yeah, I can't wait to I honestly cannot wait to watch because it's been I haven't watched it in so so long and we're not going to tell you what it is. So you'll just have to wait and see.
02:05:32
Speaker
Yeah, we're not going to tell you what it is, but I will say a small spoiler. This is bullshit.
02:05:43
Speaker
Here, I'll give a spoiler. I'll give us i'll give a little spoiler, too. um Yes! Yes! All right! All right! Who are you? Just a guy.
02:05:58
Speaker
I'm afraid i almost followed that up, but it would have gave it away. i would have, yes. But anyway, anyway email deadnotespodcast at gmail.com and recommend...
02:06:11
Speaker
movies that you would not want us to watch because they're so bad. there and I don't know. Mosquito was a really good recommendation and it was all it was a lot of fun. and ah you know Gunnar Hansen in his finest. you know so you know That was a recommendation again from our dude Anthony. Just keep throwing them at us, man. We'll put them on the list and shit. and you know well there's We'll move stuff around sometimes too. so Yep, we look at the emails.
02:06:43
Speaker
Yes. oh So guess what? Bye! Bye! I am not close to this. I am not close.