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Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
30 Plays10 months ago
Welcome to Deadnotes, tonight we're diving into the blood-soaked shores of Crystal Lake with Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives. Get ready for a wild ride as we explore Jason Voorhees, the machete-wielding maniac who might just be blasting Sisters of Mercy on his Walkman while crushing skulls with the strength of ten men. So grab your hockey mask, crank up the volume, and let’s get to the carnage!
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Dead Notes' and 'Friday the 13th Part 6'
00:00:24
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Dead Notes, a horror and cult film podcast. I'm Kevin and with me is the guy that's really screwing the pooch. I'm Alan and we're talking about Friday the 13th part 6.
00:00:38
Speaker
Ya bang. Jason lives. Jason. Yeah. yeah
00:00:50
Speaker
i hate I hate admitting that this may be my favorite one. i don't know that it is. It's definitely one of my
Favorite Films in the Series
00:00:58
Speaker
favorites. Part 4 is really fucking good, though.
00:01:00
Speaker
Yeah. The whole... 4, 5, and 6, I watch more than any of the rest of them, I think. I like 7 a lot, also, because...
00:01:12
Speaker
It's basically Carrie. Well, not Carrie. it's basic Yeah, it's basically Carrie versus Jason. Freaky Jason. i'm a big I'm a big fan of like one and two like together. like i love watching those back to back like no matter what.
Jason's Independence from Pamela
00:01:27
Speaker
i think that this is the first one where they just... I don't even know if they mention Pamela in this movie. Do they? No, I don't believe so.
00:01:39
Speaker
I think this is the first one where he's like free from her shadow. ah Jason's a big boy. yeah
00:01:50
Speaker
yeah i' a big boy now. I don't need my mommy. I don't need my mommy.
00:02:00
Speaker
Oh my God. Yeah.
Tommy Jarvis Saga and Casting Changes
00:02:03
Speaker
Yeah, yeah it begin it's continuing the whole saga, the Tommy Jarvis saga. You know, it's bringing it all around.
00:02:11
Speaker
Yeah, they tried to put some writing into it. You know, I mean... They had, although... Although three different actors... you or as a Corey Feldman.
00:02:24
Speaker
The bald-headed... he came down. oh yeah yeah yeah It looked like he was going to be like the replacement for Jason. like They were going to go forward with Tommy Jarvis being the new Jason.
00:02:39
Speaker
Because he kind of lost his fucking mind at the end of the movie. and yeah They could have went with that arc. Well, they were kind of, they kind of used it a little bit in part five because they all thought he was crazy.
Fashion Choices in the Film
00:02:54
Speaker
You know, Ninja Tommy.
00:02:55
Speaker
Ninja Tommy. He's like, I've been watching all these old Elvis karate tutorials.
00:03:06
Speaker
I'm about to fuck some shit up. hey um They completely dropped that for part six. Yeah.
00:03:17
Speaker
With Thomas. Yeah. Thomas Matthew. Thomas, yeah. um um um but um boom but but bu phone But yeah, I usually watch these three back to back in October at some point.
00:03:32
Speaker
Just because, and I like part three too. I don't care what anyone says. I think it's funny in 3D. It's some funny bullshit. Yeah, I love it. I love 3 too. don't give a fuck.
00:03:44
Speaker
yeah I like Jaws 3. come Come at me.
00:03:51
Speaker
i don't care if Jaws looks like a goddamn color form at the end of the movie. Sun shining in your 3D eyes. They're just sliding it across the screen.
00:04:05
Speaker
You like grabbing for that joint in part 3. I've seen it Yeah. Oh, yeah. Fucking it was it was the 80s, man. If you had a part three, it had to be 3D.
00:04:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, I have. ah I wish i have. a I have Friday the 13th part three in 3D and I have the 3D glasses. I might have to pull that out this weekend.
00:04:32
Speaker
Yeah, sounds like a good time.
Rejected Titles and Easter Themes
00:04:34
Speaker
But anyway, this is like a ah reboot because Friday 13th was kind of falling off at the time. Mm-hmm. You know, so they had to bring back they had to bring back Jason in a big way.
00:04:47
Speaker
Freaky Jason. Freaky Jason. I'm Jason! I'm back. Death with a... I'm Jason. Yeah, this was supposed to be called Friday 13th Part 6, Jason Has Risen.
00:05:03
Speaker
Yeah. but they didn't like the Jesus undertones, you know? Right. Which I, man, that would have been, that would have been great though. Yeah. Jesus has written or Jason. I see. I'm saying it. ah Friday the 13th part six. Jesus has risen.
00:05:20
Speaker
Freaky Jesus.
00:05:26
Speaker
Would this be, Hey, would this technically be like the Easter episode of Friday 13th? Mm-hmm.
00:05:34
Speaker
For the Easter edition? Easter Friday 13, Part 6. Easter Jason. I don't know.
00:05:49
Speaker
That would have been clever. Not the way I said it. ah They'd have to work on that a little bit. Yeah.
00:06:02
Speaker
yeah Freaky Jason, Friday the 13th, part six, freaky Jesus. I have a question about this fucking movie, which I'll get into more as we get in, but we're going to focus on Tom Matthews or Tommy Jarvis in this movie, but why is it then every single movie he's been in, he's got a big ass pair of suspenders on.
00:06:25
Speaker
And as you'll notice throughout this movie, everybody's wearing suspenders, even when they don't need to be wearing suspenders. Well, see, i'll tell I'll let you in on a little secret. when When you're a man who doesn't have much of a hindquarter, you need suspenders because the belt don't work.
00:06:46
Speaker
Well, okay. that's That's arguable. But um um we'll we'll get into it later. that'll We'll have a come around about it later. i'll I'll point it out. It's silly. I just was wondering. It's something stupid.
00:07:02
Speaker
you're like yeah You watch the movie and you're like, why he got suspenders on? Next time you see me, I'm wearing suspenders.
00:07:12
Speaker
It's all up front, baby. With a but a pocket full of witch books?
00:07:21
Speaker
I got books about Jesus and witches. Jesus was a witch. Ugh.
00:07:32
Speaker
ah so
00:07:35
Speaker
Go on, board Go on, boy. like Get it. Go on,
Jason's Motivations and Emo Persona
00:07:38
Speaker
boy. Get it. Go on, boy. think, um, I wish we're going to crack. We're going to crack jokes about Jason throughout this because I tend to think that Jason might've been touched by Jesus.
00:07:52
Speaker
Yeah. I think he's Jewish. Is that why he's got to wear a yarmulke? Is that why they got to wear yarmulkes? Because they get touched by God. No, I'm saying that Jason has more water in his head than brain.
00:08:05
Speaker
yeah Oh, yeah. is that we've we've figured out by now We've figured out by now that Jason's a waterhead for sure.
00:08:15
Speaker
That's how he can't sneak through the woods. if yous hear You hear sloshing. ah Yeah, no matter what, he just can't keep quiet. Every time his big-ass head... Yeah. it He's like, what was that? Whoosh!
00:08:29
Speaker
Coming back to big ass heads.
00:08:33
Speaker
yeah He employs Jerry Dandridge to stretch the necks out on his shirt. Yeah. I can't fit my big head to his shirt, Jerry.
00:08:47
Speaker
And he puts his shirt on finally and he's like, what were you saying? Jason! Jason! eighteen Puts his arms up.
00:08:58
Speaker
Yeah, fucking. Yeah, he's... ah Without Jerry Dandridge, he gets trapped in his sleeves. ah I'm all caught up in my...
00:09:13
Speaker
I can't get my big head through my t-shirt. No joke though, when i was when I was like my daughter, like eight years old, seven years old, um there were times when I would put on sweaters or long sleeve shirts and I'd get my head caught in a sleeve and I couldn't get out and I'd freak out.
00:09:31
Speaker
Yep, that's where it starts. but I turned out fine. I'm not a Jason.
00:09:42
Speaker
I would be honored to be a Jason. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. He doesn't have to clock in and go to work and shit. Well, he kind of does. I just kind of wanders around and well, somebody wakes his ass up, you know, that makes him go to work.
00:09:59
Speaker
I'd be pissed too. I'd be calling.
00:10:05
Speaker
ah you He's killing people that have have sex because they let him drown, allegedly, because they were too busy having sex. Is that the story? Yeah. it's just it's a moral It's moral code, man. hey Yeah, he's like, you let me drown because you was making babies.
00:10:26
Speaker
You was making more real Jason babies. ah You weren't married. we Yeah, you're not married. You gotta be married to make a baby.
00:10:39
Speaker
shit. Or else baby looks like Jason.
00:10:47
Speaker
ja Pamela and Elias weren't married when they conceived Jason. He's like, hey, you're not brother or sister. so You can't do that. You're supposed to be related.
00:11:03
Speaker
Yeah, Jason is jason is probably inbred. I don't know. You have to be related. you got tell ah You can't have sex with me unless you do 23andMe. 23andMe gets a baby.
00:11:23
Speaker
twenty three and me gets you a baby
00:11:31
Speaker
I love the fucking idea that Jason is just a fucking buffoon. Yeah. He's like one of those like, um, ah what's his name ah from the Green Mile?
00:11:44
Speaker
Oh, yeah. yeah i'm not yeah Like, I wouldn't let him pet my cats. He'd fucking squish them. Smash them. Ooh, cute kitty. ooh, ooh, ooh.
00:12:01
Speaker
Like how Tommy Boy was describing his sail. Well, just good
00:12:08
Speaker
I'm retarded. Yeah. Oh, shit. right All right. Okay, go ahead. Let's get this fucker opened. I'll stop rambling about Jason.
00:12:23
Speaker
I'm probably barely smarter than Jason, if at all. So I'm throwing stones from my glass house here. That's the funnest way to do it.
00:12:33
Speaker
He's like, I'm smarter than you, Alwin. Alwin. Alwin, you don't know nothing, Alwin.
00:12:44
Speaker
I fucking love the idea that Jason just sits in the woods. Yeah, that's it. Like emo, like he's just sitting against a tree.
00:12:56
Speaker
likes to play with Jason.
00:13:00
Speaker
Yeah, like during the off seasons and stuff, like he's like she he's like got seasonal depression. I don't know why everybody has to have sex. But he writes his best music.
00:13:13
Speaker
hey right fuck He writes he writes Sisters a Mercy songs and submits them through the mail. don't know.
00:13:26
Speaker
really it's Really, all it is is a fucking tape where he had a tape recorder and he was playing Sisters of Mercy in the background and he was trying to sing over it, but with his lyrics.
00:13:38
Speaker
I'm going to do some live research here. I'm going to see what it would be like if Jason wrote a song for Sisters of Mercy. Holy shit.
00:13:50
Speaker
Just going to be a dead notes first.
00:13:56
Speaker
incredible you guys are in for a treat because we haven't even started the episodes yet
00:14:07
Speaker
oh shit right it's uh holy shit okay here we go oh my god it's giving me verses and choruses damn he's idiot savant
00:14:27
Speaker
Oh, man. Let see. Here, I'll do the i'll do the chorus. In the lake the fire dies, mother whispers and children cry, blood on water, moonless skies, this is my dominion where mercy lies.
00:14:56
Speaker
Through the mist, the blade will sing a requiem for everything.
00:15:04
Speaker
Beneath the mass, the silent screams, a shadow born of broken dreams. Broken dreams.
00:15:19
Speaker
He says, Machete dreams a holy ride. aal of stealing end west night A The campfire fades.
00:15:31
Speaker
The campfires fade to the echoes call. I am the storm. I am the fall.
00:15:40
Speaker
My face hurts so fucking bad.
00:15:49
Speaker
I'll stop there. There's more, but... Oh my god, that's fucking incredible.
00:15:59
Speaker
ah Oh man, I fucking love the idea that he's like a big Sisters of Mercy fan and he's just always submitting lyrics to them. Come on, guys.
00:16:11
Speaker
Maybe this one? Maybe this one? Did I not put enough misery in it? He sends them with like these little pictures he's drawn of like them together. It's him with a big butchernite or a big machete.
00:16:27
Speaker
And my friends from Sisters of Mercy. These are my buddies.
00:16:38
Speaker
Oh my god.
00:16:41
Speaker
It's like him and like next to me it's like him and Andrew Eldrick. Emo. And Patricia Morse. Emo Jason.
00:16:53
Speaker
But it's all like stick figures of them all and shit because he's drawn in like crayon and sap. Because he's um special. I'm not special.
00:17:06
Speaker
I'm Jason. I'm Jason. I'm Jason. and jason Holy fucking shit. Okay, sorry. Incredible.
00:17:19
Speaker
ah No tears to shed, no light to shave. A grave beneath the midnight wave. Forever bound, forever free.
00:17:31
Speaker
Crystal Lake belongs to me.
00:17:45
Speaker
Crystal Wake. Crystal Wake
00:17:53
Speaker
belongs to Dayton. Or Forest Green. Sorry. I forgot what movie this is.
00:18:03
Speaker
It all pours into each other.
00:18:07
Speaker
docks. It docks itself. Yeah, it docks itself.
00:18:12
Speaker
Oh my god. Anyway, go ahead. Go ahead. Okay, let's start. okay I derailed the shit out of you. No, it's alright. it was It was well fucking worth it.
00:18:23
Speaker
With the wake.
00:18:28
Speaker
So, we got one of the um coolest fucking openings to a movie, though.
Opening Scene and Practical Effects
00:18:35
Speaker
Where it just starts off. We got Tommy and we got Halls and Halls is fucking tweaking. I think he's like Tommy lured him there with like promises of meth or whatever. And, you know, he's just like, you got to help me do this first, you know? So they, they should have called this movie f Friday, 13 part six, the issue incels.
00:19:00
Speaker
Yeah. Because if tommy if Tommy had a girlfriend and not just Halls, she wouldn't let him do this. She'd be like, why the fuck are you going to this goddamn cemetery? Yeah.
00:19:13
Speaker
but He's like, I gotta take care of this. Yeah. I nagging him the whole time. Yeah. ah God damn it. Fine. I won't fucking go. Yeah. I don't have enough time. I have to see. I'm really
00:19:29
Speaker
really good with the bow staff.
00:19:34
Speaker
You wait, you'll see. All the gangs are trying to get me to join.
00:19:49
Speaker
and he's got He's got a fucking side tucked into his suspenders. Yeah. and and And snow boots on. Now
00:20:01
Speaker
all I can do is picture him as that. Napoleon. Now you're just picturing Napoleon Dynamite as Tommy. The whole thing now, yeah.
00:20:12
Speaker
God.
00:20:15
Speaker
Jesus Christ. ah you ah ah jesus christ And why do they show up at the fucking graveyard? He's got his mask with him.
00:20:26
Speaker
He's like, in case he needs it. Yeah. ah In case Jason needs it. Stupid asshole. Yeah, that was like the worst thing you could have done. would have kept it. I mean, definitely keep the mask. I mean...
00:20:41
Speaker
Oh, fuck, yeah. they They tried to... That little slash in it that he put in it in part four, they tried to continue that throughout the whole... The rest of the movies, and at some point, I think, like, in part seven, she, like, swells his head up and doesn't it split in half, and then somehow in part eight, he gets a new mask and it's still got the fucking slash in it from the machete. Yeah.
00:21:07
Speaker
Dude, that's... I honestly... That's the one... I don't get too off track, but I hate that fucking scene. a lot of people love that scene where she does the psychic shit on him and his mask splits. I love it because the look on his face, he's like, who would you?
00:21:28
Speaker
His eyes, he's like, what are you like I don't know if if she's shrinking the mask or making his head bigger.
00:21:39
Speaker
boil in the water she's just she's just willing water into more water into his head the look on his face is hilarious his tongue is moving why you do that why you make Nathan head big laughing
00:22:06
Speaker
He screams really loud after Paul saw him. He's like, ah! Are those... Okay, when they dig up Jason, are those real maggots, finally? is this movie? I think so. i actually... like They kind of look like it, but they they always use like mealworms. you know all these All these movies that say there's maggots, and it's obviously not.
00:22:32
Speaker
I don't know how closely related mealworms are to maggots. I'm sure they just threw a pile of it all in there. It looks like some maggots to me. Definitely some mealworms and stuff. you know we And those thinner like earthworms and stuff.
00:22:44
Speaker
Yeah, that's one of the few movies where I think they actually might have used... I didn't look into it, but it looks like they actually might have used some maggots. fucking sweet, though. It's amazing looking.
00:22:55
Speaker
ah love it. Yeah. Whoever the guy was... um that I know CJ Graham played Jason in this, but I don't know that he did the shot with the eye. I think that was somebody else.
00:23:10
Speaker
Where they show the close-up, and there's fucking maggots around his eyes. Whoever did that, hats off. Yeah, absolutely. Because fuck that. We're just going put your head in a box and film this shot. We're going to muck you up but really good, and we're just going to put me go put these maggots on you.
00:23:28
Speaker
we're going to put maggots on your fucking face.
00:23:33
Speaker
They probably didn't tell him and then you know threw him on they were like, hey, dumbass, you got maggots on your eye. And then as aisle he was like, huh? And that's how they got their shot. Yeah.
00:23:45
Speaker
They just fucking shot him at his face with an air gun. Maggots! Do the shit like Sam Raimi did in fucking...
00:23:57
Speaker
dragged me to hell where he just fucking funneled that whole goop of fucking worms and fucking mealworms. I wonder... You know... Oh, yeah, he pulls the bo staff off the... He pulls the bo staff off the fence.
00:24:13
Speaker
Yes, he... Yeah, he... because it It wasn't enough to, like, just dig up Jason's grave to know that he was there, right? Like, just to make sure he was dead. Let's stick fucking lightning rod in him Right. He was like, it's raining, you know? And Hawes is like...
00:24:27
Speaker
You know, crossing his arms like, man, don't want be here, you know? He's like Wow. do you know did you hear Did you take note of what Halls says at that point?
00:24:39
Speaker
He says, my heart can't take much more of this. Yeah, he's got a bad fucking heart because he's all meth. It's a um foreshadowing to what's about to happen.
00:24:49
Speaker
Yep. But, do you know, did you know, um and this is why this fucking scene still holds up, you know that's real lightning from a Tesla coil? Oh, yeah?
00:25:01
Speaker
didn't know that. That is not CGI. Yeah. That's awesome. That is real fucking lightning from a Tesla coil, so... They had this fucking thing and they got, um, CJ Graham being a fucking champ.
00:25:16
Speaker
Yeah. Is down, is down in there reacting to it. Like that's hundreds of thousands of fucking volts of electricity. Yeah. Yeah, just zipping off of them, but they can distract it. There's special stuff, but yeah, it's pretty fucking awesome.
00:25:31
Speaker
It's so fucking awesome. It's such a great scene, and the reason it holds up is because it's fucking real. It's real. You know, if I was like given a bunch of money, too, to make a movie, I would rent a fucking giant Tesla coil, too, even if I didn't need it, just to have it and turn it on. Yeah.
00:25:48
Speaker
You'd be like, zap me in the nuts. yeah i'm like yeah Give me a couple blasts. Where's Kevin? He's in the Tesla room again. like oh and just there letting it wash over me.
00:26:03
Speaker
and here touch Here, hold on to this for a minute, Kevin.
00:26:08
Speaker
ah You're just standing there they're like, I am pretty good at a both death. Yeah. Yeah. yeah That's probably how I'd be after I walked out of there after spending days, so it's about accurate.
00:26:20
Speaker
And then, for whatever fucking reason, Tommy jumps in and pulls the fucking pole out of him. Yeah. Like, okay, just make it easier for him to get up.
00:26:32
Speaker
yeah And it's like the thing of fucking nightmares because this is what every child imagines will happen if he sees a dead body. Is when he's climbing out of the grave, he sits up and grabs him.
00:26:45
Speaker
was like, that that's such a simple little shot, but ah that is the nightmare fuel for children right there. because you're frozen and you can't do anything about it. And he's just, he's got you.
00:26:56
Speaker
You know what I'm saying? Like...
00:27:00
Speaker
and Yeah, but but that's terrifying. Yeah. Honestly. they The thought of that. I mean, I'm not afraid of a dead body, but that dead body is not dead anymore.
00:27:13
Speaker
Yeah. and And now he's got super i got the superpower. jason Jason gets up, he's like, fuck, I'm back. i was sleeping. Jason's got a certain kind of strength, you know? Wink, wink.
00:27:31
Speaker
so i were I was already really strong. But now... No, I'm really, really strong. I'm like i'm like if I'm... got the strength of a monkey now. My strong is better now.
00:27:51
Speaker
He's been gifted the strength of a gorilla. Yeah. But... Halls hits him with the fucking shovel. Stupid asshole.
00:28:02
Speaker
He's doing what he can, man. but No, now, yeah if if you made me go to a graveyard and dig this guy up and then you stuck a pole in it, it got like it got hit by lightning, you pulled the pole out, he came back to life, I'm leaving.
00:28:23
Speaker
You did this shit. This is your fault.
00:28:28
Speaker
I probably... If I have a gun, I'll stay and try to help, but I'm not hitting a fucking thing that just came to life out of a grave with a shovel. Like, hey, yeah he may as well have just said, hey, look at me.
00:28:43
Speaker
you start shoveling fucking dirt back in the hole to see if he'd go away. i'd be like, yeah. I'd be like, I'm terribly sorry, Kevin.
00:28:55
Speaker
Bye.
00:28:58
Speaker
I'm out. yeah Yeah, you just hear me running away going,
00:29:10
Speaker
ah but this is a scene where Jason just turns around and punches through Hall's chest. Yeah, fixes his heart problem. Yeah, he fixes his heart problem.
00:29:22
Speaker
i've I watched this scene a couple times just because it's funny. But did you notice when he turns around, you can hear the squish? Yeah. Where he steps on his heart?
00:29:33
Speaker
Yeah. it's funny But what what I thought was funny about it is he turns around like a toddler. What was that? Watch it, the way he turns around.
00:29:48
Speaker
why watch it the way he turns around oh my o hello But anyway, to cap off this scene, Tommy does escape in his truck. Otherwise, this movie would be really short.
00:30:02
Speaker
Yeah, they'd give you the title card and the end at the same time. Yeah, you get the ending credits. Yeah, know you get the title card, then you get the intro credits, then the end and the outro credits.
00:30:15
Speaker
But it'd be really short. Yeah, because we haven't even made it to the fucking intro credits. It'd be like four credits. And then the really the only people that would have any notoriety is all the grips and shit. All the camera people and operators.
00:30:30
Speaker
ah that That might be a good idea, Kevin. you might be ah um You might be on to something here. Just make a movie that is nothing but credits. Yeah. ah
00:30:43
Speaker
And dedicate it to somebody. Just dedicate it to a million different people. Yeah. It'd be like an hour and a half movie and it's all just credits. Just scrolling, yeah.
00:30:56
Speaker
I wonder how many people would sit there and wait for something to happen.
00:31:04
Speaker
There'd be some fucking meathead in the crowd like, there's gotta be some shit. It's about to go down. It is. Anything that you see is all in the previews. Anything you film is just previews, and then the rest of what you film is the intro, and that's it. Some fucking clown sitting in the fucking theater.
00:31:27
Speaker
an hour in, everybody has already left, and it's like, it's about to get crazy now. I got the whole theater to myself. It is about to go down.
00:31:43
Speaker
i would love someone sitting through an hour of credits and being like, this is hype. Yeah.
00:31:54
Speaker
Oh my god. Yeah. we can You can like ah like ah promote it like see if you can make it. You know like Bet you can't watch the whole thing. Bet you can't make it to the end.
00:32:12
Speaker
I'll be like, I can watch anything. Oh, yeah. Get ready for this. After you get out of like thanking everybody, you start going to the immemoriums and the dedications. like My late Uncle Bobby. you know like and And I wouldn't even put any music over it. I would just have no sound, just credits rolling.
00:32:39
Speaker
Not a fucking person on Earth could make it through that. What's the guy that did Blood for Dracula? The guy that did all the Campbell's Soup paintings and shit. Oh, Andy Warhol.
00:32:51
Speaker
Andy Warhol. that That's an Andy Warhol movie right there. Yeah. Because it'd have Udo Kier in it.
00:33:02
Speaker
Yeah. and Well, it would only have his name because its all it is is credits. Yeah. and just Oh yeah, you'd burn through anybody that was in the previews or in the opening title the opening sequence.
00:33:14
Speaker
You'd burn through that for the first like two seconds of the credits. Well, you know, i suppose we should talk about Friday the 13th Part 6. Yeah, I think we should get back to that.
00:33:27
Speaker
Because so we've now been talking about a fucking credit movie.
00:33:35
Speaker
What the fuck?
00:33:38
Speaker
Is this what Tommy escaped to? Yeah. ah Yeah, Tom Matthews, his career, kind of. this so That'd be a get for him. He'd be like, I was in the credit movie.
Character Comparisons and Gender Commentary
00:33:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:56
Speaker
James Bond style title card. I would say so Yeah. yeah cheese Cheesy. but Whatever. but Awesome. And, you know,
00:34:08
Speaker
when I've mentioned this before, but this is another movie where are we gotta watch Critters 2 because when he gets to the police station, fucking ah Sheriff Garris looks like Ugg from Critters 2.
00:34:29
Speaker
Absolutely. He looks like an old... He looks like a stressed out... like Oh, absolutely. Like didn't make it in life. Really? He's, he's stuck at this dead end job.
00:34:40
Speaker
Yeah. It's like, uh, it's like him, uh, and, uh, uh, Tim Curry could be related. Yeah. He got kind of stuck when he was transforming his face. He got kind of stuck in between a couple different people we saw on TV.
00:34:58
Speaker
Yeah. Or Ugg, Terrence Mann. Terrence Mann is his name, but his character name is Ugg. Ugg. Critters 2 is fucking awesome.
00:35:11
Speaker
and But we're not talking about that. We're talking about Friday the 13th. Yeah, we gotta stay on. But I wonder how... ah Because he... hey He just comes into the police station telling them that Jason's back and shit. and ah do they Do you think they believe him ah little bit?
00:35:30
Speaker
Are they just... Because they spend a lot of an awful lot of energy covering it up. I don't know. i don't think they fucking... i I don't think that they don't believe him so much as...
00:35:44
Speaker
They know that he's going to stir some shit, you know, and, and man yeah, they're trying, they are trying to cover it up like in a way of, they just don't want anybody to, they're trying to push it onto the carpet.
00:35:56
Speaker
They're just trying to keep their, you know what I'm saying? And they're afraid that he's going to come erupt at all and all that shit, you know? Two things. When he grabs that fucking shotgun, why do they not have it? Why do they just have it where you can just grab it, right? It's not locked up or anything. You just go in the sheriff's office and grab a shotgun.
00:36:18
Speaker
And two, why didn't they beat the living fuck out of him? That'd be the perfect excuse. Oh, he's got a gun. oh boom Yeah. he He was really grabbing.
00:36:33
Speaker
He was grabbing for a pin the whole time. Yeah. Beat him to the the very edge of life. Yeah. And then drag his fucking and limp body. and Well, that would mean probably paperwork at that point. So, you know.
00:36:49
Speaker
and Well, it's only the three of them. And this is the... Is this the... Yeah, this is the fucking 80s. So they could have... There probably wasn't any cameras up.
00:37:02
Speaker
Let's talk about another thing here. Let's talk about Rick the deputy, though, and that piece that he's carrying. He came in that way. You mean with the fucking dildo launcher attached to the top of it?
00:37:14
Speaker
Wherever the dot goes, you bang. Absolutely. He like jerks off to that. What was that movie with Stallone? Cobra?
00:37:25
Speaker
I think that's what. That goddamn laser light is bigger than the gun. I know. He's got like two belts on and it's like there's one that's just holding his laser sight it looks like.
00:37:40
Speaker
I wonder. I wonder what that was. Like if that was because there's no fucking way that was a real laser. I mean.
00:37:52
Speaker
I think that was a fucking toilet paper roll painted black with a fucking red light in it or a paper towel roll because that thing was huge.
00:38:02
Speaker
Like he has nothing better to do in the ah sheriff's office. So they're so bored. So when he was in there taking a shit, he was like decorating his gun and built like this little red dot scope with his police issue flashlight and toilet paper roll and a Sharpie.
00:38:19
Speaker
He bedazzled his gun. He made an extra belt to hold it. That's what they need to do. make like You know how they have like the big toes and all that bullshit for Crocs?
00:38:31
Speaker
Yeah. They need to have shit like that for guns. Where you can have like a little titty or um or a toe or something sticking you might be able to get some truck nuts or something to hang from your where you hold the gun and hang it off your magazine.
00:38:48
Speaker
little charm. A little charm.
00:38:52
Speaker
You have to aim higher than you normally would because the gun just drags. ah The weight is all thrown off from these big giant fucking brass balls hanging off the end of it.
00:39:06
Speaker
Holy shit. Darren and Lisbeth. Yeah. Yeah.
00:39:16
Speaker
What's his name? Tony Goldwyn from Ghost. Yeah. With that beak. Yep. That's absolutely him. I'd recognize that fucking guy anywhere.
00:39:30
Speaker
Because of the schnoz. He doesn't even have a very... It's not like a giant nose. It's just... That's how I recognize him. I don't know. Maybe I'm just fucking... I don't know. I am stupid.
00:39:45
Speaker
Oh... But Jason's standing in the road. i did don bite coming down yeah they They fucking come up on him. He's still got the pole from the graveyard. Absolutely. It's his first weapon of the movie. um So they honk the horn at him. like that's gonna fuck it There's some motherfucker here. in like...
00:40:11
Speaker
With his big ass head and a hockey mask. And he's standing there with this fucking pole. His bow stick.
00:40:19
Speaker
Jason starts doing moves. Like in the road. It's my bow staff.
00:40:29
Speaker
Nobody wants to play with Jason.
00:40:33
Speaker
And then Darren gets out the gun. Jason's in the middle of his routine. And he flattens their tire. What a pussy gun. ah What a... That... I've not... That had to be like a.22 revolver. It looked like a BB gun.
00:40:50
Speaker
Oh, yeah. was like, Jesus Christ. Saturday Night Special. ah ah To have a gun that small and and just... It's just... It's a pussy gun.
00:41:05
Speaker
To have a gun like that, Darren must have a swinging dick. Yeah. he must say He's like, i ain't kind as a matter of fact, I'm going the opposite way. I don't need to compensate for shit. he's like He's like, this this gun here isn't the one that's meant to intimidate.
00:41:25
Speaker
Right, and then fucking Jason sticks him and throws him over his shoulder, but as he's flying through the air, Darren goes, my dick is still bigger than yours.
00:41:37
Speaker
I like before like all that, like she they they kind of do like the weird... ah callback shit in this movie. Well, not callback, but little lines like this. Like, she's like, I've seen too many horror movies to know a guy in a mask is no good. You know what I'm saying? Like, so they, they're doing like these little, ah making fun of myself.
00:42:01
Speaker
You know what I'm saying? Which I really like. Cause you could tell there, this is also why they're bringing, they're trying to bring back the, uh, the love of Jason Voorhees, you know, back to the market. I think,
00:42:13
Speaker
All those little, like, um ah not quite fourth wall breaking moments. Yeah, but there is a fourth wall breaking moment at some point. I remember There is, but I mean, with her saying, I've seen too many scary movies, it's like, when Scream came out and they did that, they were like, this is the first time anyone's ever done this.
00:42:33
Speaker
Yeah. I'm like, no, it wasn't. Jesus Christ. It's just the first time that's all they did. Yeah. but A little secret here. I'm not a fan of Scream.
00:42:47
Speaker
Sorry. Kevin might be. I am not. But... it's ah I think Scream, honestly, is when it came out, it's a it's a generational thing. like I liked it. when when i first I still liked the movie. i mean it was a whole It was a good whodunit.
00:43:05
Speaker
um But it was definitely bringing back the slasher enterprise back into horror. Because if you remember, right around when that came out, there wasn't a lot. like Horror movies weren't really doing so well. like There was a lot of...
00:43:19
Speaker
A lot of bad shit. You know what I'm saying? um It wasn't hadn't erupted as much as it did now, you know? So i don't know. It kind of, it was there to kind of restart the whole slasher genre.
00:43:35
Speaker
I don't know. can go into that later. i don't know. ah Yeah. We're just talking about other movies. This whole episode. I reject your reality and substitute my own.
00:43:50
Speaker
Communally. yeah, Darren gets is fucking impaled and he's just tossed aside like a wet noodle. And Elizabeth gets out of the car and crawls away.
00:44:03
Speaker
he tries to offer him money and shit. I know. But that actress, I don't remember what her name is, but she's a champ but because that was really her head under the fucking water puddle when the bubbles were coming up.
00:44:17
Speaker
Yeah. like They had like scuba gear on her and shit. Yeah. ah And that fucking water had to be like 40 degrees. Oh, absolutely. Fucking freezing.
00:44:27
Speaker
Yeah. Fucking sweet, yeah though. And she gets the she gets the fence pole. She gets the Bo staff. The Bo staff. And what's funny here, too, and I don't understand this part, but if you notice, like, she was offering a money and shit, and her American Express card starts floating down. Oh, yeah. Commercial? Commercial, maybe? Yeah.
00:44:53
Speaker
Yeah. was like Don't leave home without it. like Just in case you have a killer like coming after you, you want to make sure you always have it. Oh, fucking flash to Jason at a Walmart buying a new machete and some fucking um Air Jordans or something because his dog's is barking.
00:45:13
Speaker
Yeah. He's driving a car. he's He drives off in the VW and gets pulled over and he's trying to use it for his license. He opens his shirt up. Do you very want give me a ticket, officer? Here's my license.
00:45:30
Speaker
You want to see the nipples?
00:45:35
Speaker
Oh, man. Fucking, um... And that's where, um... It goes to the next day with the caretaker, Martin, who's filling the grave
Children in the Film
00:45:46
Speaker
in.
00:45:46
Speaker
And this is the fourth wall. This is, yep. This is, yep. Where if you saw this in the movie theater, you know, you'd get this old old man looking right at you saying, some folks have a strange idea of entertainment. Yeah. Yep.
00:46:01
Speaker
yeah It's awesome, though. I loved it. Oh, yeah. You could totally tell, you know... Roasting their own fans. Yeah. They're just like, but that we know this is what you guys really fucking want, you know, whatever. Because the shit was getting stale, man. So... Goddamn court, man.
00:46:21
Speaker
The... wait We get introduced to, what, most of the rest of the cast? Yeah. Megan, Court, Sissy, and Paula. Mm-hmm. And, uh...
00:46:32
Speaker
Megan's retarded. Court is a Stallone, but he's clearly gay. And then Sissy and Paula. But Megan might be the fucking dumbest Her dad has a guy that he tells her is fucking murdering people.
00:46:54
Speaker
And she's like, no, I think he's okay. Yeah. Like she's never met him and she believes the shit he's telling her over her own father. Yeah, absolutely.
00:47:08
Speaker
Suspect. And court and court, his whole purpose, at least in this scene is to remind us that this movie was from the eighties. Oh, yeah, with that crop top.
00:47:21
Speaker
Mm-hmm. He's dressed just like Johnny Depp in Nightmare on Elm Street. He is. You're right.
00:47:29
Speaker
Fucking. Like, hey, bro. Hey, who made you the bro-thority, bro? authority bro The bro-thority.
00:47:39
Speaker
And I don't know. I just think it's fucking i I'm not a am not a fan of court because he is a painful reminder of the 80s.
00:47:53
Speaker
So like Megan's like telling everybody all this stuff, you know, and it's like it seems like they're all in awe over Tommy. Oh, she wants to fucking lick Tommy's balls. think they all want kisses from Tommy.
00:48:07
Speaker
yeah Yeah. Oh, yeah, Court, too. you know They all want kisses from Tommy. Court's a little chubbed up.
00:48:15
Speaker
Mmm, Thomas. Tell us more about what Tommy said about Jason. What did Tommy say about Jason? He's got a big pole. He plays both staff.
00:48:28
Speaker
He's good with a both staff. Yeah. And this is this the first Friday the 13th with kids, actual kids in it, not teenagers?
00:48:40
Speaker
I think it is. Yeah? It would have been fucking awesome. Although, because this is more of a comedy horror... Wait, you know is that... I don't know, I feel like... um Now I have to go back through.
00:48:58
Speaker
It's always teenagers. Although, except for Tommy Jarvis as a kid. Yeah. you know i think that It was always them getting the camp prepped up.
00:49:09
Speaker
great Ready to open... Because the whole thing about Friday the 13th is teenagers having sex and getting killed for it right?
00:49:21
Speaker
So they usually don't have kids in this movie in Friday the 13th, except for Tommy, you know, Corey Feldman when he was a little kid. but But I think this might be the first one with children at the camp, where they're actually using the camp.
00:49:40
Speaker
And I would have loved it. And I know it's taboo, but I would have fucking loved it if Jason just offed a few of them.
00:49:50
Speaker
ah Yeah. It would have made this, but because it's a comedy horror, it would have made this so much darker. and You don't think ah Final Chapter, wasn't there kids in that one?
00:50:05
Speaker
God, I haven't watched them forever either. I don't think so. I mean, it's always teenagers. Yeah. Well, it's 20-year-olds playing teenagers.
00:50:17
Speaker
All right. so Anyway. All right. I'm just saying it would have been cool to see... j Well, it might... and I don't want to see children get killed.
00:50:30
Speaker
However, it definitely would have made this movie darker. yeah And Jason would have been more of a like a fucking imposing presence. I think they the route they went was pretty good because they gave you just enough.
00:50:46
Speaker
You know what I'm saying? to To get you going, you know? I agree with that, but I don't agree with no boobs, goddammit. What the fuck? This is a first Friday the 13th movie, and and this is coming from Friday the 13th Part 5, which might have had the most.
00:51:06
Speaker
Yeah. You know?
00:51:10
Speaker
I don't know. Anyway.
Music and Missed Opportunities
00:51:13
Speaker
So the kids get to camp, right? And then I think that, you know, Alice Cooper was on the soundtrack for this movie. For this movie. You know what I'm saying? like Yeah. ah ro strong He wrote three songs for it. Right.
00:51:26
Speaker
So I wish they would have, like, when all the kids got and were getting off the bus, they missed the spot for School's Out for Summer, I think. Yeah. I think he did, he he did, um, He's Back, the man behind the mask, right?
00:51:41
Speaker
Yeah. Hard Rock, they play Hard Rock Summer and Teenage Frankenstein. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, so they got three of them Alice Cooper songs.
00:51:52
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, they were going balls out, like, getting this thing going, you know, regenerate it.
00:52:01
Speaker
But then we go to the paintball game. Yeah.
00:52:05
Speaker
And I used to play paintball a lot. Yeah. Never ran into a Freaky Jason, though.
00:52:15
Speaker
Unfortunately. Yeah. And i Kate is just, Katie's just fucking everybody up. So what's the, Bert is the motherfucker. That's like fucking bitches.
00:52:27
Speaker
All these bitches. Yeah. He's like, shouldn't even let a goddamn woman play paintball. What the fuck? He's like, should it should have stayed in the kitchen.
00:52:39
Speaker
Goddamn. How am I supposed to get my sandwiches?
00:52:45
Speaker
um bro
00:52:49
Speaker
wonderful
00:52:52
Speaker
shouldve stayed in the kitchen where you
00:53:06
Speaker
He's got the bandana on that says dead. Yeah. ah Bitches. Goddamn women can't even fucking cook. Gonna shoot me. He's just salty as shit.
00:53:19
Speaker
Fucking hacking at like hacking through the fucking woods. Just bitching. Yeah. ah yeah Bitching because Katie fucking capped his ass. Yep.
00:53:30
Speaker
That's what you get, motherfucker. And then... This is probably the kill where I'm like, ah, that that's a little too far with the goofiness. Because cause the fucking smiley face.
00:53:46
Speaker
Like Forrest Gump. Yeah, dude. It happens. It happens. Sometimes.
00:54:01
Speaker
He basically... Jason's got the mind of Forrest Gump. Yeah, Forrest Gump ripped off this movie. Yeah. Totally. But yeah, he smashes his face into the tree and ah makes an indent of a smiley face.
00:54:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:17
Speaker
I don't like that. But I do like... I thought it was pretty sweet. I do That one was for the kids. ah yeah that Yeah, that was for the children. That was for the children.
00:54:29
Speaker
But I... I do like that... Which one...
00:54:34
Speaker
ah which one he this is the one where he's swinging the machete and it looks like that scene from The Shining, right? Where they're following the machete.
00:54:45
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Remember when Jack is hitting the door with the axe and its and Stanley Kubrick's but staying on the axe as he's swinging it? Yeah. i think It's cutting, yeah.
00:54:57
Speaker
It seems like that's where they what they tried to do here with that because they were doing the same thing with Jason and the machete, like following him as he's swinging it. Yeah. Could be coincidence. I don't know.
00:55:10
Speaker
It was sweet. Nonetheless. I don't claim to be a genius. ah Actually, quite the opposite.
00:55:24
Speaker
oh And, uh, fucking, uh, who? Katie, Larry, and Stan get a threefer? yeah. oh Yeah.
00:55:35
Speaker
I think this was ah like they were just trying to get the numbers up in this movie. yeah um Also, also... Plus it's sweet.
00:55:47
Speaker
Well, and we didn't mention that this is the first movie where Jason basically has superpowers and he's showing it off through a lot of this movie.
00:55:58
Speaker
And this is one of them where he swings the machete and cuts off three heads in one swipe. Boy's got that strength. Yeah. What do you mean? What kind of strength?
00:56:10
Speaker
What are you trying to say? are you trying to say? and Jesus touched me and didn't give me the strength of 10 men. Jesus men.
00:56:29
Speaker
and gave me the strength of ten
00:56:33
Speaker
If we do shirts, it's got to be on the back of our shirts. Jesus.
00:56:50
Speaker
Jesus touched me and gave me the strength of ten men and filled my head with waddle. Waddle with wawa. He filled my head with waddle.
00:57:11
Speaker
Holy shit. it is
00:57:16
Speaker
What the hell, man? Fucking all you're going to do is laugh.
00:57:23
Speaker
Roy shoots Jason with paintball and then runs for his life yelling for help, which is the proper response. yeah we don't We don't get Roy's on-screen death. we just see clues of it later on. Yeah, which I kind of like that.
00:57:38
Speaker
You pretty much know what's going on, but, you know... Yeah, he counts he counts as a death. I think there's 18 deaths in this movie. yeah Which is respectable. Yeah, it's respectable.
00:57:51
Speaker
I think Roy counts. Yeah, absolutely. And then Rick and Ugg are escorting Tommy out of town.
00:58:04
Speaker
Yeah. And Tommy tries to make a beeline for the cemetery so he can show him The grave that him and Halls dug up. Ugg, uh, Ugg passes them off that garage door opener like
00:58:26
Speaker
He's just trying to show him where he dug Jason up, and it's funny because it's a completely different cemetery. Yeah. yeah Not even uh, and And Martin, the caretaker, he arrives, and of course he's going to go, I see what you're talking about.
00:58:44
Speaker
yeah He's trying to take a break, and they're interrupting him. Like, I was watching Wheel of Fortune, and you guys is run around the cemetery. You think I'm going dig up that grave again? Fuck that.
00:58:57
Speaker
Like, they can't tell. that was already covered up, yeah. Right. they The fucking police are idiots. They're like, it looks good to me. Yeah. Looks like dirt. You can tell it was recently dug up.
00:59:11
Speaker
Yep. Fucking dickhead. Dickheads. Dickheads.
00:59:18
Speaker
Oh, Jesus Christ. These fucking dumbasses. But I think it's like a form of denial, too, with Garris and everything, because again, he's They've been all keeping their heads in the sand for so long to where he's like, oh, it it's not what it is, you know? Yeah.
00:59:35
Speaker
He's like, goddamn critters again. yeah
00:59:40
Speaker
Make it goddamn big ass critter ball.
00:59:44
Speaker
yeah
00:59:47
Speaker
A bunch of little Jasons form into a big Jason ball. A big Jason head. The big rolling Jason head.
00:59:57
Speaker
It has fucking melon. It's just sloshing.
01:00:05
Speaker
so all you hear All you hear is the water. Yeah. Sloshing around in his big fucking head. So they see that, you know, Garrett's already tackled Tommy for kisses.
01:00:17
Speaker
Rick pulls out his gun with the giant fucking laser because he thinks he's Cobra. the This is my Smith and Wesson compensator. Yeah. You bang.
01:00:29
Speaker
Filled with us. it It's huge. It's filled with a five-inch Peter. My five-inch Peter launcher. I made this when I was sitting on the toilet in the bathroom.
01:00:43
Speaker
Yeah, that gun looks fucking heavy. I'll tell you that. I know. Until you realize that's just a paper towel roll. Yeah.
01:00:55
Speaker
I glued it onto the top of my gun to make it look scary. Freeze it, psycho. Now see what you've done. You made my deputy draw his revolver. He's been dying to try his mail-order laser scope.
01:01:09
Speaker
Wherever the red dot goes. your ba You know, we'll go back to the camp because it's just stupid shit. You know, Megan hyping the kids up in court.
01:01:20
Speaker
I thought I just thought it was funny because court is sitting there trying to teach the boys shit. And it's like, what the fuck was that story, dude? Like I have, I have, I have no fucking idea.
01:01:32
Speaker
He's like, yo, guys, like you see you got fucking rocks, picking you you know You and your boyfriend. What the fuck is he talking about? I don't even know. i didn't I didn't pay much attention to it, but I just thought it was funny because all these kids are sitting around like, this asshole's trying to teach us shit. Looks like he's got about two brain cells.
01:02:00
Speaker
But Garris and Rick dropped Tommy off at the town border, and they're like, we don't take kylye so yeah we don't take kindly to grave robbers. Yeah.
01:02:12
Speaker
In our town.
Megan's Rebellion and Court's Humor
01:02:14
Speaker
Then he fucking hands him off that controller, and he was like, you need us, just press the button.
01:02:23
Speaker
Just light the light. Yeah.
01:02:27
Speaker
They give him a bat signal. Yeah. momy For Tommy. It's a big head with a small brain and a little what and some squiggly lines to indicate water.
01:02:44
Speaker
Yeah. You know, squiggly lines in a drawing like at my level of art can indicate water or fart or smell.
01:02:56
Speaker
good i guess depending on which way draw them. Yeah, if they're vertical, they're smell. If they're horizontal, they're water. that's That's the level of artistry I'm at.
01:03:08
Speaker
Stick figures while that's Jason's too. Yeah, you guys have. Today, when I was writing my new song for Sisters of Mercy, I made a poopy.
01:03:21
Speaker
And I drew a picture of it, and I sent it to Sisters of Mercy, and they didn't like it.
01:03:28
Speaker
I measured it because it was possibly a world record. This was the first time they ever wrote me back and it said, Dear Jason, don't ever send us another picture of shit again. Signed, Edric.
01:03:45
Speaker
I said, Jason, you're too sexy. Signed, Andrew.
01:03:52
Speaker
XOXO. So he they wrote me back so they like my songs.
01:03:58
Speaker
ah It's like a Charles Manson story, but with Jason instead of the Beach Boys and Charles Manson, it's Jason with Sisters of Mercy. He's just taking over all these these ladies ladies of the night from Crystal Lake.
01:04:16
Speaker
Yeah. And ah they're like, yeah, we like party with... We'll whoo hang out with you. you got...
01:04:29
Speaker
Then random character introduction with Steven and Pam. Yeah. They're drinking fucking champagne. Like, and it's all lit up like a Days of Our Lives fucking scene. steve Steven's about to fucking destroy Pam's guts.
01:04:49
Speaker
Jason's about to destroy both of them guts. Yeah. Martin walking home with his whiskey like you do. Fucking shit-faced. Yeah, I've had those nights. and He's living life.
01:05:00
Speaker
Yeah. yeah with his With his whiskey, Kathleen. And I like that, you know, because you live by the bottle, you buy die by the bottle. Literally.
01:05:12
Speaker
Because Jason breaks it and stabs it in Martin's fucking throat. I think he died by littering. yeah Yeah, right. he's like I think that's the moral the moral code that he broke and Jason didn't appreciate that.
01:05:25
Speaker
Jason was like, that is not biodegradable.
01:05:31
Speaker
Pick it up. There's kids that want to hear.
01:05:38
Speaker
jason Jason's like that Indian. Remember in the 90s, the Indian with the tear? It shows Jason's just crying because Martin littered.
01:05:51
Speaker
i do like the idea that he turns around and just goes, pick it up!
01:05:58
Speaker
Martin's like, fuck you, man. You're harshing my gig, bro. Yeah.
01:06:09
Speaker
Oh,
01:06:11
Speaker
Steven and Pam hear hear Martin scream something along the lines of... er Yeah.
01:06:24
Speaker
My throat! Ow! He's doing a Pee-wee Herman from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He's like, yeah ah, ah, ah.
01:06:36
Speaker
Yeah. Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
01:06:44
Speaker
Oh, man. But I do like when he walks up on him. Fucking Jason's still hacking at Martin. Yeah. That's like a scene you rarely see in a Friday the 13th movie where it's like ah another person's perspective of the attack because normally his kills are just sneak up on somebody, kill him, done.
01:07:06
Speaker
Yeah. But here he walks up. there I think this might be a Friday the 13th first also because it's That is terrifying. Yeah, when you're actually watching it happen. Yeah, like, what the fuck is he doing?
01:07:21
Speaker
that That is scary. Well, didn't they do that in... What was it? When they had the flashback with Tommy Jarvis like in the woods, and it was like he was a kid, he was still... Yeah, I'm wrong.
01:07:38
Speaker
And he was watching Jason ah murder. Fine, I'm wrong, you're right. What is that? Is that four or five? Is it four?
01:07:49
Speaker
Probably four, I don't think it was five. Yeah. That'd be one of them. Probably four. Because I don't think, I think... I'm dropping a ball. Well, Corey Feldman only came back for, I think, the beginning of part five. That's what I mean, that's the part I'm talking about.
01:08:09
Speaker
Well, he didn't even... he i don't think he saw... I think he just went to his grave and it was raining and shit. and It was like a shock because he was doing the Goonies at the time. Yeah.
01:08:21
Speaker
They had to like set up some ah set. I haven't watched it in so long. I've got to Anyway, yeah. don't know. Corey Feldman outgrew the role. Yeah. It'd be funny as fuck if they brought him back.
01:08:38
Speaker
Brought him back. Nowadays, he'd probably blow somebody to get that part. Yeah. Hey, guys. hey Yo, you want to do any Friday the 13th?
01:08:52
Speaker
Maybe just a little bit.
01:08:56
Speaker
Jesus Christ. I'm tired of doing this Michael Jackson impersonation. oh my god. Right? You're not wearing that hat. It's gotta be.
01:09:08
Speaker
Yeah. Quit it with the black sequins, goddammit.
01:09:14
Speaker
The way of life! But Jason chases Steven back to Pam, which it's like, okay, if you're being chased by a murderer, don't run him back to your girlfriend.
01:09:27
Speaker
Unless you don't give a fuck about her. Right? actually yeah Run him the other way. he's like He's like, hey, Pam, look what I found.
01:09:42
Speaker
ah They get on the fucking motorcycle and he stabs through both of them. He's getting a lot of two furs in this movie. He is, man. He's really racking them up. Two furs and three furs.
01:09:53
Speaker
He's really making that he's right really making but strength count, you know i mean? Yeah. When Jesus touches you, you got to make sure you fucking take it to the nines. I've been touched by Jesus, and I'm not going to waste it.
01:10:07
Speaker
I've got the strength of men.
01:10:18
Speaker
Oh my god. oh ah But, you know, let's just go to court having sex. How about that? That's right. let's talk about Let's talk about this like Mormon dry humping thing that they were doing. It is... Look, this is...
01:10:37
Speaker
This is the gayest sex I've ever seen performed between a man and a woman. Because he has his shirt rolled up just above his nipples.
01:10:49
Speaker
Oh, I know. And his back is arched. Yeah, he's ready. He's laying on his back, but his back is still arched. Like, ooh, there's the vagina too close to me.
01:11:02
Speaker
Yuck. Yuck.
01:11:05
Speaker
But she's like whipping her hair around like she's in a fucking winger video or something. Yeah, yeah. but But holy shit.
01:11:16
Speaker
She asked him like ah she ask him the last 10 more minutes and his face, like the look on his face. It's not that he was in danger of coming.
01:11:29
Speaker
It's that he was in danger of he he couldn't keep his dick hard for 10 minutes. Right. He's like, yuck. yeah Are you crazy? Yeah, this is the weirdest sex scene I think I've seen in a movie.
01:11:45
Speaker
Well, not the weirdest. Absolutely. Just a shout out to the movie Golden Glove. Watch that. That's got the weirdest sex scenes you'll ever see in a movie. I went, yuck.
01:12:01
Speaker
And I've seen some shit.
01:12:05
Speaker
ah but But what the fuck, man? That's the weirdest shit. like She's got her shirt on and his is pulled up over his nipples.
01:12:16
Speaker
And he's he's got his eyes closed the whole time, too. like he's ima He's over there imagining fucking... ah What's his name? ah Carl from Ghost.
01:12:29
Speaker
Yeah.
01:12:33
Speaker
What was that on Scary Movie 2 where she's riding on Rey and he makes her put on the football equipment? And he keeps making her put on all that stuff? Yeah, but basically that's what's happening here.
01:12:47
Speaker
She's struggling with all her might to keep little Stallone's penis erect here. You know, yeah Jason, I wonder how much Jason, you know, Jason, because I don't know how, you know, Jason's dad is Elias Voorhees. I don't know how much he was in Jason's life.
01:13:09
Speaker
Clearly he was in it a lot. Jason has no, Jason has no daddy issues whatsoever. Yeah. Well, ah he apparently taught him about electricity and such, you know?
01:13:23
Speaker
Maybe. When Jason was a ah little big-headed... Melon baby. Whatever the fuck he was. like I think what happened is his dad fucking lawn darted him into the fucking Crystal Lake.
01:13:39
Speaker
has
01:13:44
Speaker
Jason survived an abortion. survived, Dad! And he's like, Jesus Christ!
01:13:58
Speaker
laund My dad said that Jesus touched me
01:14:08
Speaker
But Nicky makes court go to plug it in. And the, cause Jason rips out power lines, right? That's why, that's what I was getting at. Like, how does he even understand how this shit works?
01:14:19
Speaker
I mean, i Maybe when he got electrocuted, you know, it jump-started his memory of all the years of when he ripped out electricity and phone lines. like He's like an electro, like some fucking superhero. he's He got electrocuted, so now he just... He's a master... He can... He can, uh... psychically speak to electricity.
01:14:41
Speaker
oh Oh, you mean that if I pull these cables out? he's ah He's a fucking union electrician now. Oh, you mean he just sits back and lets somebody else do it?
01:14:59
Speaker
There's five Jasons and only one of them's working.
01:15:05
Speaker
We're a union. so
01:15:14
Speaker
The rest of them are like, i can i can't do that because it's not my job description. Yeah. I'm not certified. I'm not. ah I could do that, but it's dangerous.
01:15:28
Speaker
But it's dangerous. Yeah, he's a he's a he murders people with a machete, but electricity. Jesus touched them all in different ways.
01:15:39
Speaker
He's like, Osha wouldn't approve of me.
01:15:44
Speaker
yeah ah Jesus touched me in my pee-pee.
01:15:52
Speaker
Oh, would be great if there were five Jasons and each of them had a different, like, attribute. I keep thinking of multiplicity now, and I keep thinking, like, i yeah all these the dumb the dumb what the dumbest one. They keep getting dumber.
01:16:08
Speaker
And the first one was dumb, so the fucking tenth one is just a fucking blubbering jackass. He keeps putting pizza in his wallet.
01:16:20
Speaker
Hey, guys. We're gonna eat the dolphins. ah Jason! ah He touched my pipette, Steve. The tenth one's the one that can't even speak. All he can say is Jason.
01:16:33
Speaker
Yeah? Jason! He's outside of the camper crying.
01:16:47
Speaker
Where do you go from here? ah but though Let's put the tenth one in there and see what we get. Yeah, let's so let's see. They just start being smaller. yeah Eventually you get like this miniature Jason with the strength of ten men.
01:17:09
Speaker
Eventually it will come back and he's like an aristocrat. You know, uh, yeah. Yeah. Well, actually, laura flourish the pinky. Yeah.
01:17:24
Speaker
Fucking, uh, but Kork goes out and plugs a plugs the fucking shit back in, which i don't think makes a whole lot of sense. Because, uh... I don't think he's got much more knowledge than Jason does, be honest. Yeah.
01:17:37
Speaker
Jason might be smarter than him. Mm-hmm. He's like, why do you talk like that? what what What do you mean, bro? What do you mean, bro? Talk like what, man?
01:17:48
Speaker
do you talk like But Court gets the RV started up thanks to Nicky, and then... Yeah. Then he fucking peels out of there, dude.
01:18:03
Speaker
Blastin' I almost said Blastin' Whoopi Goldberg. but That would have been good. What mean. Whoopi Goldberg's stand-up or some shit? like No, im think I just have Ghost, the movie Ghost, on my brain now.
01:18:22
Speaker
But I meant Alice Cooper. Yeah. yeah
01:18:27
Speaker
Tomato, tomato. now Yeah, they're so similar.
01:18:34
Speaker
But...
01:18:38
Speaker
Whoopi Goldberg's rendition of No More Mr. Nice Guy.
01:18:47
Speaker
Jesus fucking Christ. But Nikki's back there taking a shit, blasting fucking... So Kork turns up the radio. Yeah.
01:18:59
Speaker
Now she gets pulled into the bathroom by Freaky Jason. Mm-hmm. And this is where she gets her fucking face smashed through the wall like a cartoon. Which is fucking sweet.
01:19:11
Speaker
Yeah. I had to turn on... When I was watching this, I had to turn on the... ah had turn on the um subtitles because I couldn't understand what he was saying.
01:19:25
Speaker
You know where he's like, what you doing back there, bro? You taking a dump? Yeah. Well, he says, uh, he said this thing and I was like, what the fuck did he just say? And this must have been ad-libbed because there's no fucking way they wrote that in a script because court says, and I quote, he says, what are you doing back there? Taking a dump?
01:19:48
Speaker
And then he says, mind if I come back and snatch a peek or vice versa?
01:19:59
Speaker
What?
01:20:01
Speaker
He's going to go in there and and while she's sitting, he's going to sit on her lap and take a shit when she's taking a shit. he want Yeah, he's going to do an upper decker. he's She's going to be shitting in the bowl and he'll be up on the back.
01:20:17
Speaker
No, I think he's just going to sit on her lap and then like shit between her legs. But why why would you be like, you taking a shit? Can I come watch? Yeah. um They're into some shit, man. I mean, you saw how high up his shirt was.
01:20:33
Speaker
Hey, Nicky, what are you doing back there? Taking a duck? You better come back and snack and pee. Or vice versa. I could not understand for the life of me what he was saying. But i turn it could be wrong, but that's what the subtitles said.
01:20:50
Speaker
and it was on the Blu-ray, so it's their fucking subtitles. It's not some shit the TV made up. Yeah. It's, what are you doing back there? Taking a dump?
01:21:02
Speaker
Mind if I come back and snatch a peek? I dare you to do that and a like next time you go out somewhere and just go in the girl's restroom.
01:21:13
Speaker
Knock on the girl's bathroom stall and be like, what are you doing in there? Don't even fucking knock, dude. Just like grab it and shake it. You can't, you because I'll have use the line. I'll go, don't make me come in there. i've been touched by Jesus and I have the strength of 10 men.
01:21:44
Speaker
and And what a satisfying death Kork gets, because I fucking hate this
Tommy as a Suspect and Megan's Plan
01:21:52
Speaker
character. sure I don't know why, I think it just reminds me of, you know, because I was a teenager in the ninety s you know I was a little kid in the 80s.
01:22:02
Speaker
But it reminds me of what fucked up music and shit in the 80s and 90s was people like Kork. Hey, bro.
01:22:14
Speaker
Yeah. All those fucking jocks and shit, dude. Yeah. Ew, man. and is yeah but you get ah But he stabs Cort in his fucking head. Dude, I love it. That fucking... I love it.
01:22:32
Speaker
For one second, for a fraction of a second, Cort looks like a real human being when he looks and notices Jason with the knife. Yep.
01:22:43
Speaker
For one goddamn second in the movie, he's not making a face like, bruh. He's like, whoa, wait a minute. Yeah, I know. You know, it's like a moment, like the second of clarity right before he gets a knife through his fucking head.
01:22:59
Speaker
Yep. And then then the RV flips and that's a practical effect, too, which was fucking awesome. It's fucking sweet, that whole scene, and then Jason gets out looking like a fucking triumphant fucking badass.
01:23:12
Speaker
As he should. Obvious day for night shot. Fucking sweet. and talents ah You can tell it's in daytime. They just adjusted the colors to make it look like it's at night.
01:23:25
Speaker
Yeah, it's sweet. But whatever, it still looks good.
01:23:31
Speaker
Anyway...
01:23:35
Speaker
Bye, court. Bye, bitch. Bye, Felicia. Yeah, so well so we get back to the police station after the awesome hero shot of Jason on top jason on top of the r and on top of Cousin Eddie's RV.
01:23:54
Speaker
Mm-hmm. ah that There's an RV. I can't help myself. I'm sorry. I gotta get it out. That there's an RV. yeah
01:24:05
Speaker
I'm sorry. I can't help myself.
01:24:10
Speaker
Jason stands on the top of it. He's like, Shitter was full. yeah yeah Okay, I'm done. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. I love Cousin Eddie.
01:24:21
Speaker
yeah I probably mention him too much. Yeah, it's alright.
01:24:29
Speaker
So Garris is bitching at Megan,
01:24:33
Speaker
and yeah Rick calls him out, calls them him about finding Darren. He's like, you won't believe what I found, you bang! Yeah. hey Yeah, they think ah they think that Tommy's a copycat killer at this point, and it's like, what reason does Megan have to not believe her father?
01:24:53
Speaker
Yeah. It may...
01:24:57
Speaker
She keeps fucking with them, man. Like bad. hormone I mean, although um' a hunt I'm being a hundred percent honest here. If the shoes, if the roles were reversed and my dad was a police sheriff, it was a sheriff and some hot girl was, I'd be like, i think she's right. Dad.
01:25:21
Speaker
Yeah. I think I can fix her, you know? So I get it. Nevermind. Sorry, Megan.
01:25:29
Speaker
I'm ah being unfair to Megan.
01:25:33
Speaker
but gar But he leaves Megan at the station you know to see what Rick found. And ah tommy Tommy's out book shopping.
01:25:47
Speaker
Yeah, because he's got to get up on his occult book reading. Yeah, well, he has to make up a plan to figure out how to kill Jason, you know. ah Because apparently, you know, when he made the whole plan to go and i don't know, at the beginning when he stabs him when he's in the grave, I don't know what his plan was, but you'd think he would have read up on some of this shit.
01:26:13
Speaker
Knowing that it could have, like, what, he would have gotten, like, a book of Mary Shelley's and been like, Oh, if may lightning happens, yeah, maybe not do that. yeah Yeah, what they don't show you is that the Tesla coil was just there. It wasn't part of the movie.
01:26:29
Speaker
Right. They're like, don't stick that in him. There's a Tesla coil right beside it, dickhead.
01:26:40
Speaker
and And Megan, of course, you know, because Tommy calls the sheriff's office to try to tell Garrus what his plan is. And Megan answers the phone. You know, and it all lines up, whatever. but But Megan convinces Tommy to let her come pick him up because she's worried that her dad will recognize Tommy's truck. Yeah.
01:27:03
Speaker
Like, what does it fucking matter? He's going to recognize your car, too. Don't you think he's going to be like, weren't you at the station?
01:27:14
Speaker
Right? Yeah. I mean, obviously, he's going to know, like, you're not where you're supposed to be. But Tommy, and this is a sure bet, Tommy didn't even have to buy her any McDonald's or anything.
01:27:27
Speaker
If he wanted to have sex with Megan, it's on.
01:27:34
Speaker
No expensive... He doesn't have to shell out that 12 bucks or whatever it costs for a fucking Big Mac and a large cola.
01:27:48
Speaker
That's a cheap date. Yeah. yeah
01:27:54
Speaker
But this is kind of where you find out roy where they find Roy's body. You know, when they're inspecting the crime scene. Yeah, they find the parts. and They kind of find what's left of Roy.
01:28:06
Speaker
Yeah. They're like, happy Friday 13th. Happy be Friday the 13th. Like, couldn't... and that Again, too, like, Tommy couldn't have picked a better fucking day. Yeah.
01:28:20
Speaker
Like, it's the anniversary, bro. Yeah, bro. Let's go stick Bo Staff in Jason. Ruth and Do? Yeah. I'll order up some body bags. Our boy sure wants us to believe his story.
01:28:33
Speaker
Well, he picked the right day to pull this shit. What you mean? Happy Friday the 13th.
01:28:46
Speaker
And then Elias, up to his old tricks again, you know, taught Jason all about phone lines.
Fashion Quirks and Horror Elements
01:28:53
Speaker
Yep. He goes up there and cuts those motherfuckers. I cut this line and they can't make noises through the telephone wires anymore. Yeah.
01:29:04
Speaker
c Sissy hears something and starts yelling out, all right, who's out there? Now, this is where I'm going to come around to the suspender thing. She's wearing a pair of jogging pants. And she's wearing suspenders with them.
01:29:18
Speaker
Well, because it looks fucking awesome.
01:29:22
Speaker
It looks... There's so many suspenders in this movie. It looks amazing. Yeah, c Sissy gets pulled right out of her fucking slippers. Because she pours... What does she pour out on him? Is that a beer?
01:29:35
Speaker
Urine. urine she yeah she's got ah jars are She jars her urine. Yeah, trucker bomb. ah she does She dumps a trucker bomb out on him.
01:29:45
Speaker
Did that pee?
01:29:53
Speaker
so It smells like my dad. smells like someone peed on me. It smells like my dad. Fuckin'.
01:30:04
Speaker
But I love how he yanks her out the window and pulls her right out of her slippers. Yeah, that's awesome. And then fucking pops her head off. yeah See, that's why I wouldn't let him pet my cats.
01:30:15
Speaker
Exactly. Too rough. Exactly that scene. Yeah. I just love you so much, Dissy.
01:30:27
Speaker
And Nancy sees Jason carrying her body away. i do love that scene. It's cool. The little girl, she's she's the only one that keep she's the only one that sees Jason and survives ah ah she can't i don't know she can't sleep or whatever But this fucking scene where Megan picks up Tommy, you know, when they when they stop the roadblock, they see him in the look.
01:30:59
Speaker
There's no reason for him to lower his head down if she's going to run from the police anyway. Yeah. At that point, it doesn't fucking matter if if they can see him or not.
01:31:13
Speaker
Tommy's a happy boy at this point. yeah he's like yep i'm in there yeah and she they keep like the close up on what what should be a camel toe she's got a secret yeah it's all hanging to the right it's actually left you got a secret and then she's like flying and she's like it's gonna be a hairy turn gonna a hairy turn hang on we're rock off nine It is the 80s. It is the 80s, so it's probably pretty hairy. He set that shit up.
01:31:48
Speaker
That thing probably looks like a hatchet wound, like someone hit buckwheat in the head with a hatchet. He's looking at it, and he's like, oh, it's not as big as mine, so we're good. Yeah, she's got a... she's She doesn't have a... You got hanger. no You got a hanger on her. Like a moose knuckle.
01:32:05
Speaker
i I appreciate that. I like ah i I'm a member of the Free the Labia. like a little bit... I like a pussy to look like a hastily packed suitcase.
01:32:17
Speaker
Jesus Christ.
01:32:27
Speaker
ah She's got a... And and ah he's like, hey, how's it hanging? And she's like, a little to the left. yeah Because it's all over on one side.
01:32:40
Speaker
little to the left and Swan's shriveled. A little to the left. Baby!
01:32:48
Speaker
So Nancy approaches Paula while she's sleeping and she's carrying Jason's machete, which I think is like a really cool fucking scene. um Cause it's just like following her in. It looks it's got jelly all over yeah It's like, like a shine. The blood looks like crystal. Yeah.
01:33:07
Speaker
Like shiny. Yeah. It looks, it looks like it's got some kind of jelly on it Yeah. Yeah. I just hacked the fuck out of the Kool-Aid man.
01:33:19
Speaker
because If I can't have it, no one will. I cut the head off the Kool-Aid man.
01:33:26
Speaker
She just says it's sissy in court playing jokes, so she takes her back to her cabin. Paula gets back to the cabin and sees that the machete's gone. You know, Paula...
01:33:39
Speaker
Paula, in all of Friday the 13th, even though you don't see it, Paula gets fucked up more than anyone in any one of these movies. Yeah. Because when they fucking, they, she's killed off screen, but the entire fucking room is covered in blood. It is. It's awesome.
01:34:02
Speaker
And I love the scene when she's in her cabin and she's sees the machetes gone. And when she's walking, when she's walking and he's following her through the windows, that's fucking sweet.
01:34:13
Speaker
I like that shot. Back the police station again, Garris gets... Or, Ugg gets a call that they... ah Got more crates. That they found some more crates, yeah. They're forming a... They're forming a critter ball.
01:34:30
Speaker
Forming another one the balls again.
01:34:34
Speaker
That's a big hairy one.
01:34:38
Speaker
He gets a call that they found Court Nikki. And Megan... fucking tells him that Tommy was with her the whole time and Ugg is like she's like she's like I was getting i was getting the ah Tommy was having some hairy tacos
01:35:08
Speaker
Well, Garris goes to check it out. Tommy smiles at Garris and he's got like hairs. He goes, he goes, he goes, he goes,
01:35:20
Speaker
e ah po
01:35:32
Speaker
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. But Rick locks Tommy in a cell and Garris goes to the scene of the murder. That's right. So they're making a bid to get Tommy out. Megan and Tommy are.
01:35:45
Speaker
And you know... But Megan goes up to the cell and Tommy starts kissing her. Well, he was like roasting her about her art. He's like, what are you drawing? Fucking dicks over there?
01:36:02
Speaker
You fucking drawing... She looks like shit. You fucking stupid ass shit you're drawing. She's probably... She draws shit like I do.
01:36:17
Speaker
well like Well, like at the end of American Psycho where she opens his desks and see all those kiddie drawings of like all the murder scenes in the entire movie. and No, it's just dicks.
01:36:29
Speaker
It's just a bunch of weird-looking... Her whole little sketch pad is full of different weird dicks.
01:36:39
Speaker
Yeah. Obsessed. Yeah, Rick. Yeah, oh yeah, Rick. But Rick fucking intervenes because Tommy's fucking smooching on Megan.
01:36:50
Speaker
He's like, I'm gonna punch you silly.
01:36:54
Speaker
I'm gonna box your ears there, boy.
01:37:01
Speaker
Yeah, so Megan takes his fucking gun. And Tommy takes a heel turn. He's like, ha ha, bitch. Yeah, you bang. Megan. Don't clown around.
01:37:13
Speaker
I'm not the one with the funny red nose. Now open the cell and let him out.
01:37:20
Speaker
Maggie. I'm not kidding. You better do as she says. Because wherever the red dot goes, you bang. Yeah. And what a retard.
01:37:30
Speaker
Look, if you're pointing if your girlfriend is pointing a gun at somebody, don't stand behind the somebody that they're pointing a gun at. ah Right?
01:37:42
Speaker
Well, you gotta make sure the bullet doesn't go into the wall. Because if where the red dot goes, they both ya bang.
01:37:51
Speaker
That's two ya bangs. That's two bangs. Yeah, but they lock old Rick the dick in the cell. Is this the last time we see Rick?
01:38:02
Speaker
I think it is. I believe so. Yep, so Rick dies in the jail. Yeah, he serves the death. Rick dies in the jail cell because obviously Garrus, you know, he doesn't quite make it back to let him out.
01:38:20
Speaker
No, he doesn't. So it's possible that they just killed Rick.
01:38:28
Speaker
I don't know how many days. it's What if he's a faster? What if he's already on like day three of not eating? Yeah, he could be. We don't know.
01:38:38
Speaker
air You gotta be prepared, people. there Fasting is like a fad right now, but if you're 30, if you're fucking a week or two into a fast and somebody locks you up, you might be good to go.
01:38:53
Speaker
ah You might be fucked. I don't know. but Tommy and Megan head for the camp.
Tommy's Plan and Jason's Strength
01:39:00
Speaker
Mm-hmm. head for that camp. You know, and Tommy, you know, Tommy had the voodoo books and shit, so now he's like, he he adds lore to Jason.
01:39:11
Speaker
Yeah, he knows what's going on now. Like, he's like, oh, this book right here, it opened it up, and it literally said the only way to kill Jason is to turn him to his original resting place. Yeah, it's all the books that saying it's like a passing line that never gets followed up on in any other movie. It's just this one. He's like,
01:39:31
Speaker
we got to return him to his original resting place. I'd go, you know, um I mean, I suppose you could call it that, but allegedly he didn't die until you cut his fucking head in half.
01:39:47
Speaker
So his original resting place was in that house that little Tommy Jarvis killed him in because he didn't die when he and crystal Lake, right?
01:40:00
Speaker
Technically, it depends on how you look at it. Well... he died He technically died in Crystal Lake originally. That's his original resting place. No, he didn't die, though.
01:40:13
Speaker
He didn't die, though, because this is the movie where he's... The first time he's a quote-unquote zombie.
01:40:22
Speaker
He survived the fucking lake. the that was the That was the whole thing with him. I don't know, but to me, his original resting place was where Tommy cut his head in half in part four.
01:40:39
Speaker
that so That's where he fucks up. That's why at the end of the movie, you know, the shit that happens happens because Tommy should have took him back to the house in part four.
01:40:53
Speaker
Just saying. Look it up, people.
01:40:59
Speaker
This is supposed be... There's probably a strip mall there, so they can't. So what they got taken to is original, original resting place. I'm just saying, this is supposed to be the movie where he takes...
01:41:11
Speaker
But see, the whole thing is, this isn't fucking Camp Crystal Lake, right? That they're at in this movie either, correct? Yeah, it is. Is it? Okay. Yeah, they just renamed it to Forest Green. Oh, that's right. Okay.
01:41:23
Speaker
they renamed it to forestre green oh that's right okay It is Crystal Lake. it's That's right. ah ah speak but he called But he calls the lake his original resting place, but the whole thing with him murdering people in part one or part two through four ah was that he didn't die.
01:41:43
Speaker
That he survived, and that's why he's back killing people. In part four, he dies. And then five, you know, Roy is the killer.
01:41:54
Speaker
yeah Spoiler. And then part six, they resurrect him. So technically, his original resting place would have been the house that Tommy killed him in.
01:42:06
Speaker
Well, there's a strip mall there, like I said, so they can't take him into foot Locker and drop him off. So now they gotta take him back to Crystal Lake. It's a Starbucks now. That would awkward. They're like digging up the fucking floor to throw Jason in it.
01:42:22
Speaker
Just throwing behind the bar, the barista bar. Yeah, it's just, I think that, I think that's a oversight by Tommy. that's why That's why for the rest of the the rest of the movies, what'd they make? Ten?
01:42:39
Speaker
And then Freddy vs. Jason? Right? Yeah. So every other movie after this, it's all Tommy's fault. Every death is Tommy's fault.
01:42:51
Speaker
Because Tommy stopped it, but then Tommy started it back up again. Yeah. Jackass. You fucking dickhead.
01:43:02
Speaker
Anyway, this is the scene I was talking about where Jason enters enters the cabin with all the kids and Nancy sees him, but he doesn't kill her because he gets distracted by the police showing up. They were this fucking close ah to making this like ah the darkest Friday the 13th. Well, I like that he like bent down and was like staring at her.
01:43:28
Speaker
You know, like, and then the, you know, he gets distracted. Yeah. a Poor kid. He would have, if he would have smushed her head, or we'd, we'd be talking about this movie. Like it's the funniest, but it's also the most fucked up. Right.
01:43:44
Speaker
13 would have been great. Just saying. Not that I want to see kids get killed. I'm just saying it would have added this.
01:43:56
Speaker
It would have excelled this movie. It would have been like ah this weird, I don't know, no nudity, but still yet the fucking darkest f Friday the 13th.
01:44:08
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know. you'd get Your fucking brain would get whiplash trying to think about it. Garris shows up with Burt Reynolds. Yeah, he does.
01:44:26
Speaker
The bandit shows up with the bandit. Well, they're basically just there to inform them about what happened to Nikki in court. He's like, they had they were having gay sex. Yeah.
01:44:39
Speaker
And were murdered for it. Then they open Paula and Sissy's cabin and that's fucking amazing. Just fucking blood everywhere. There's something fucking. I would love if Garrus did like the um Ace Ventura thing.
01:44:55
Speaker
yeah Yeah. What a lovely room of death. Yeah.
01:45:04
Speaker
Because that's kind of how they flashed around the room. Same way showing all the scenes of carnage. Yeah. Gareth, oh!
01:45:17
Speaker
You know. And the third officer, like he's like wandering around. Jason just fucking plucks him in the head with a fucking throwing dart. A lawn dart. A lawn jart.
01:45:30
Speaker
he throw He's like, you better move or else it's gonna hit you. Yeah.
01:45:39
Speaker
You know, me and man a couple guys, you know one of them, would be out in the backyard with lawn jarts and just throw them up in the air and fucking run away and yeah none of us got hit.
01:45:54
Speaker
Yeah, that's what we ended up doing with them. ah That's why they don't make them anymore. Too many people died. You guys ready? Yeah. ah who you guys ready yeah Oh, yeah. You're so fucking dumb.
01:46:12
Speaker
And Garrus goes to check on the kids and notices one of them's missing. Guess which one? course, it's Nancy. Of course. She should be named fucking Karen. She went to tell the manager.
01:46:27
Speaker
There's someone walking around here looking at the children.
01:46:36
Speaker
Nancy runs to Burt Reynolds and tells him that there's a scary man. Yeah. And Jason walks right up on him and fucking squishes his head. It looked like it hurt so fucking bad, too.
01:46:50
Speaker
Oh, I bet. Imagine, you know, he's like, have you seen my baseball? Have you seen my baseball? ah Jason's just stepped out of the woods. Have you seen my baseball?
01:47:02
Speaker
Yeah, and he's like, what? And he grabs his head. Yeah, this whole movie, he's doing shit where it's just like a display of his new power. His strength. I didn't... Jason been pumping iron.
01:47:18
Speaker
I have the strength of ten men. I've been watching all those Schwarzenegger movies.
01:47:27
Speaker
Oh, shit. So Garrus grabs his shotgun, finds Nancy... They get all the kids into one cabin cabin and tells the kids go under the bed and don't move. Obviously, because that's the safest spot for him when you have this fucking guy that's just taking out people that are in front of him.
01:47:43
Speaker
So, what were you going to be when you grew up? Stay in here. That way he doesn't get tired looking for all of you. Yeah, if you don't invite him in, he can't come in. you think He's like on the wrong legacy.
01:47:56
Speaker
He's like, can I come in? And they're like, I don't know. Can you? because he Yeah. And then he comes. yeah Little fucking Nancy is grammar policing him.
01:48:08
Speaker
yeah I don't know, Jason. Can you come in?
01:48:15
Speaker
he thought Well, you got me, too. He walks away. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah.
01:48:25
Speaker
I was mistaken.
01:48:28
Speaker
Then he's just out in the yard going, Jason, Jason, Jason. Then Garris trips over the bandit's body, and then he's been confronted by Jason.
01:48:43
Speaker
He's like, God damn it, Smokey. Yeah. Yeah.
01:48:49
Speaker
yeah ja
01:48:53
Speaker
He does shoot, Jason. He does shoot. yeah yeah He gets a bullet. He gets a bullet in him. It knocks him down. Yep. And Jason keeps getting back up. I wish they would have Superman, where he keeps shooting him, and he's like, ah and then he throws the gun at him, and Jason moves and dodges it.
01:49:13
Speaker
No! Yeah. Or that's what takes him down. Yeah, he shoots him fucking six times. and ah And it doesn't affect him, but then he pistol whips him to death. or Do you like the naked gun thing? or whatever Not naked gun, but ah where throws the towel out of his face and he's like, yeah, it's naked gun too, I think. Two and a half. Oh, yeah.
01:49:37
Speaker
Garris is just snapping fucking Jason in the butt with a towel.
01:49:43
Speaker
i It's like Spongebob and fucking...
01:49:51
Speaker
What's the starfish? Oh, Patrick. Patrick. yeah Jason is like Patrick.
01:49:59
Speaker
It's, yeah. yeah ah Garrus is just snapping him in the butt with a towel. Yeah.
01:50:11
Speaker
Oh, man. How does... how How does Jason kill Garris, though? Oh, man. It's great. He folds in him in half like a sandwich.
01:50:26
Speaker
Like an old school cell phone? Yeah. Like a folding chair? This call is over.
01:50:37
Speaker
Oh, oh man. I wish it would have shown... Megan in the background like she's been watching the whole time.
01:50:47
Speaker
Yeah. Just the look on her face.
Emotional Depth and Tommy's Trap
01:50:50
Speaker
oh, the children. Yeah.
01:50:57
Speaker
Oh, she's just inconsolable for the rest of the movie. Yeah, dude. It's like like Barbara and I living dead. Yeah. She's just fucking out of her head, dude.
01:51:07
Speaker
Yeah.
01:51:10
Speaker
She's like, yeah, yeah.
01:51:15
Speaker
Imagine seeing that. Your dad getting folded in half. Yeah.
01:51:24
Speaker
Missed opportunities, man. They could have really ran with that. Yeah, dude. But Megan does see the bloody cabin, though.
01:51:35
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. like She needed any more. Yeah, she doesn't respond appropriately, though. And she goes shut
01:51:48
Speaker
yeah right yeah
01:51:52
Speaker
so she goes to find the kids. ah Tommy's putting this plan in motion that he read out of the books and it's taking these big ass chains to get out to the river to lure Jason out. Cause you know, that's who Jason wants, right?
01:52:07
Speaker
Mega tries to find her dad, find Sissy's head in the car.
01:52:14
Speaker
It finds her dad folded up and put away with the rest of the folding chairs in the rec room.
01:52:23
Speaker
yeah he's just in a bunch of fucking chairs. He's on one of those fucking holders. Jason put them away correctly. His fucking dick is out and it's right beside it over his shoulder. There's my penis.
01:52:42
Speaker
Oh my god. Fucking crates. Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking Jason. Jason has superpowers, but this whole returning him, yeah, I've already debunked that ah because this whole returning him to his original resting place It's not not his original resting place.
01:53:04
Speaker
Just saying.
01:53:08
Speaker
So anyway, he's got his he's got what he thinks is ah his trap ready to take him to what he thinks is his original resting place because that's what they told him in the books. Yep. Yep.
01:53:19
Speaker
Fucking bullshit. And then it gets a shot of like those two kids that are hiding under the bed that I imagine would be me and you. like yeah you know i think we're dead meat. He's like, what so what did you want to be when you grow Yeah, exactly. yeah
01:53:37
Speaker
That would be me and you. That was like start of dead notes. I'd be like, I want to be a unicorn, yeah Kevin. What do you want to be? You have a long dart sticking out of the side of your head.
01:53:49
Speaker
Yeah. And Kevin's over there I want to be out I want to be a fire engine. I want to be a fire engine. a Yeah, we were we're not throwing stones here. We're both fucking idiots.
01:54:10
Speaker
We're just picking on our own kind here. Yeah, so it's okay. Yeah, but he sees he sees Jason heading into the cabin again with the kids. And he draws them away. I love that he fucking calls Jason a pussy. Is this the that's for movie? that Does anyone else ever do that in all of the movies?
01:54:33
Speaker
I don't know. I feel like he's had some shit Yoda on him before. he's like, come get me, you pussy. Yeah. Hey, asshole! It's me, you all remember?
01:54:45
Speaker
on! Come on, chicken shit! Come on, I'm standing in wait! Come on, pussy! Yeah! I love the idea that Jason's so stupid that when Tommy's out there on the boat yelling for him going, Jason!
01:55:00
Speaker
That Jason just looks back at him and starts going, Jason! He's like, he just re keeps repeating them. He's like, no, come here, you dickhead. Jason!
01:55:17
Speaker
He keeps holding his putting his arms up in the air every time he says Jason. Yeah, he thinks that fucking Tommy's like his hype man.
01:55:27
Speaker
Jason! Megan's like, no, go over to him. He's like, Jason. Go that way, Waterhead.
01:55:37
Speaker
Jason! the
01:55:41
Speaker
he's He's out far enough that when he when Jason walks out, he disappears under the water and Tommy is somehow surprised. yeah He's like, whoa? He's not buoyant?
01:55:53
Speaker
He just keeps walking?
01:55:57
Speaker
he doesn He doesn't float.
01:56:03
Speaker
And Tommy lights the fucking water on fire. Oh, yeah. That works in real life. Oh, yeah. Because you know we've tried it. Totally believable. Yeah. Don't worry. I mean... Here we go. Here we go.
01:56:22
Speaker
No. I know how they did it. They just had gas lines around the boat. But, yeah. I mean, oil does catch on fire and water sometimes.
01:56:34
Speaker
But it's not the fucking water. that's on fire, but Tommy dumps gasoline in the fire. I would say try it, but I don't advocate for that stuff because I don't want anyone to get injured.
01:56:46
Speaker
Yeah. Do not try this. Or do. If you do try it, email us at deadnotespodcast at gmail.com. That would be, it would be a dead moat.
01:56:59
Speaker
Dead moat. It would be a dead moat. We're going to have to try that. Fucking let's get a barrel of water out in your backyard and put gas on the top of it. Yeah. not
01:57:13
Speaker
ah We'll put we'll get a freaky Jason to put in it. A freaky Jason. Freaky Jason. The Jason jumps out of the water and a really cool shot and grabs.
01:57:27
Speaker
Starts wrestling starts wrestling him putting the moves on. sprinkling gold dust on him. Yeah, all that gold dust. But how strong is Tommy?
01:57:37
Speaker
Because Jason just folded a man in half. yeah And Tommy's holding his own here. I mean, I don't know. you He was a ninja in part five. maybe Yeah, he was able to... He got the rest of Elvis' karate box set.
01:57:57
Speaker
He's got his suspenders pinned down to the boat with his thigh. Oh, he's got his pants so tight that is it's cutting off all the circulation to the lower half of his body, just so all the blood and strength can be up at the top part.
01:58:15
Speaker
You know, the glamour muscles.
01:58:20
Speaker
He's got roid rage.
01:58:24
Speaker
He ends up getting the chain around Jason's neck, creating one of the coolest fucking fish tank decorations in the entire world. Look, I'm not gonna lie. this is This does look fucking awesome.
01:58:40
Speaker
But it's fucking retarded at the same time. I just love that he's just down there, you know, like grabbing feets. Any kind of feet he can grab. Then Megan goes swimming out there and he's like, ooh, he starts grabbing her feets.
01:58:53
Speaker
Yeah, he's like, tickle, tickle, tickle. Here's the funny thing. The way he is in the water means that only his head floats.
01:59:05
Speaker
Right? I mean, if he's stuck in the chain and he's standing upright, that means his head is buoyant and the rest of his body isn't.
01:59:17
Speaker
Well, i I don't know. I mean, when he went underwater, he was bubbling the entire time. So he's got air in him. Which would mean that he's breathing, but he's allegedly dead. Yeah, I know. I don't know. I guess if he wasn't breathing, he wouldn't be able to say, Jason!
01:59:39
Speaker
It requires air to speak.
01:59:43
Speaker
So yeah, Vega jumps in, getting her teeth her feet all tickled by Jason while she's trying to save Tommy. And... Turns on the boat and grinds his face with the propeller. i guess. Oh, yeah. He's like.
02:00:04
Speaker
it's getting in my mouth luke i am your father yeah yeah jason just luke i am
02:00:24
Speaker
the
02:00:29
Speaker
wow that would be fucking funny and you people i need the I need to like edit some audio into that scene.
02:00:40
Speaker
you know what we
02:00:43
Speaker
Turn off! but maybe we haven enjoy
02:00:50
Speaker
ah So they get Tommy to shore and Megan revives them even though you know he was faking. And Tommy's like, it's finally over. and she Clearly.
02:01:04
Speaker
ah yeah hit Yeah. Clearly it's over. yeah Because it's not like there's another scene that happens after this. Nope.
02:01:16
Speaker
Nope. Not one that shows Jason opening his eyes or anything? Yeah, nothing. His eye, yeah. Yeah, his eye. He's like, look at my good eye! He opens his eye and he's going, Jason!
02:01:29
Speaker
The end. Yeah, um, there is a, well, there there is a other ending that I don't know if they shot it or not, but, um, Elias was supposed to, there was supposed to be like a extra scene where Elias, Jason's father shows up.
Scrapped Ending with Elias
02:01:47
Speaker
Really? and hey And pays the caretaker to cover up that Jason's grave is empty. Huh. And it was scrapped due to the budget and everything.
02:02:00
Speaker
But if you watch Friday the 13th Vengeance, it's on YouTube. They go into that and ah and um they go into the whole story and they actually have that scene in it.
02:02:13
Speaker
And CJ Graham is playing Elias. That's cool. Yeah, so check that out. It's on YouTube for free. it's It's a fan film. and Yep, fan film.
02:02:28
Speaker
I love fan films, man. But it goes into a little bit more with Elias, and it has like Tommy Jarvis' daughter and his granddaughter in it.
02:02:41
Speaker
If you want to see it, it's actually not that bad. Yeah, definitely. I want to watch it. But, anyway, Friday the 13th, part 6, it's a banger.
02:02:53
Speaker
Yeah, it is a banger. If you want to hear Kevin and my stupid ass talk about any other movies, email us. Please email us, because I'm running out of fucking ideas. No, I'm not. i We are endless. We are infinite.
02:03:11
Speaker
Yeah, we're only fucking 17 in, for Christ's sake. Yeah. We got millions, but i still want I still want to hear some goofy ones. Absolutely. Deadnosepodcasts at gmail.com.
02:03:24
Speaker
Yeah. Email. You can send pictures of your dick to Kevin. Or Alan. Or your pet sticks to Alan. Your dog's buttholes to Kevin.
02:03:39
Speaker
Anyway. That was Friday 13th part 6. I'm gonna go cause I've been drinking so much beer.
02:04:10
Speaker
Jason belongs in hell. I'm gonna see he gets there.