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Midwatch conversations 2: Midwatch Kills Again
24 Plays1 year ago
Wes and Cole continue the midwatch conversation theme where as topics come and go, talking about time travel to opening a woodshop because what else would you do when you get out of the military.
Lets kill some time on the midwatch!
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Transcript
Introduction to the Downlighter Podcast
00:00:02
Speaker
Hey guys, it's Wes and Cole here from the Downlighter Podcast. This is our second episode. We've been going for a while, but here we are back again and talk about random shit on submarines. And cue intro. I'm pretty sure this is the most stock intro outro you could possibly get. This is like.
00:00:29
Speaker
You know, this is like a Kirkland's signature intro. Yeah. Members Mark. Oh, today. Just like those douchebag radio stations that just have like every like soundboard there is. How's he thinking about parks and rec?
Random Conversations and Historical Interests
00:00:57
Speaker
So like one of the conversations that kind of came up just with us, just, you know, bullshit and beforehand, you know, we, we find ourselves just immediately getting back into that mid watch conversation type mindset where, you know, just everything is kind of just coming up. You're just, I don't know. It's a, you just swing, get right back in the swing of it. Like you wouldn't even imagine. Um, like just, just before this, like we were talking about, you know, like if you had like a, um,
00:01:26
Speaker
If you had a time machine, like, yeah, Wes, where would you go? If you had a time machine, where would you go back in time to? Shit. I think, I think I'd really enjoy like the Western expansion era, like 1840s. Yeah. Yeah. You know, even though I probably wouldn't make it.
00:01:50
Speaker
Yeah. I'd get eaten by a bear. Yeah. Get dysentery. Like. Or drown in the Colorado River. Something like that. But I always like Western movies. You know, the old Sam Elliott phase. Yeah. I would really like that.
00:02:06
Speaker
Yeah, I would either pick maybe, because security in the White House probably wasn't that crazy during the JFK administration and you could just totally sneak in and just do a hot swap when it was like Marilyn Monroe was in there and you're like, I'm not from Maryland or JFK and just run out naked.
00:02:31
Speaker
Yeah, you just have to dress in a, or be a cross dresser, run in and get fucked by JFK. Or yeah, you could do that. Can you imagine that? Why I oughta. Did that just be freaking crazy? Or like, just go back to like, you know, the early 1900s. So like you could be a white person, say all the in bombs you won. No one will get, you won't get beat up. That's like, that'd be like, that'd be like a good time to be like, you know, any of the people who've had like,
00:03:00
Speaker
You know, I imagine, like, what's your name, Roseanne Barr, you know? Like, she could probably, you know, take a turn going back to 1900 and... Oh, yeah.
Head Trauma and Comedy
00:03:08
Speaker
Yeah, just like drop on them bumps and run. It's like, this is a non-issue. Everybody would be like, yeah, and just like, oh, yeah, just be... She's got a crazy story. She got hit in the head as a kid or she got like ran over by a car and...
00:03:27
Speaker
She changed drastically, mentally. That's where she gets a lot of her comedy from. Head trauma breeds creativity. I don't know. Maybe I'll try. I think there was a podcast episode with Joe Rogan and Alex Jones, where Alex Jones is talking about a story where he got bullied and somebody piledrived his head.
00:03:54
Speaker
into the ground when he was a kid. And Joe Rogan just comes out and says like, it's like, wow, that's like some pretty severe head trauma. He's like, yeah, he's like, do you feel like you were changed after that? And he's like, what do you mean? It's like, well, he explains like head trauma to him. He's like, oh no, I was so much better after that. And I was like, okay, all right. Yeah, sure. All right, you know, well, if you can, I mean, you got to knock the dust out of the filter. Maybe his filter was just clogged, you know, medical agitation.
00:04:25
Speaker
had to hose it out and just knock out the dust.
Woodworking Venture
00:04:28
Speaker
Speaking of dust and stuff, I feel like I'm completely going into the whole prior service type guy, where I've gotten to the point now to where I've started woodworking. And I've gotten so far to where I have an Etsy shop now and an Instagram. I'm trying to make money woodworking. And so I feel like that's a classic story.
00:04:54
Speaker
Next you'll be making the challenge coin holders and- Challenge coin holders like- Paddles. Retirement paddles and shit like that. The fireplace mantle that holds like seven shotguns. Because why not just have it leaning up against or anywhere or just, I don't know.
00:05:19
Speaker
a gun rack but no it has to be has to be hidden with biometric security and just like totally true totally above and beyond which those would be fun making yeah i really like the uh the wood burning you could probably make quite a bit on uh maybe i guess everyone would a lot of people would burn nowadays but if you want to go specific with uh
00:05:46
Speaker
you know, Navy things. I'm sure there's always a market for that. Oh, yeah. I mean, around the Christmas like the holidays are coming up. Apparently, it's like pretty nuts just like making coasters and cutting boards, like
00:05:57
Speaker
You call a cutting board a charcuterie board and bought a bay. Yeah, boom. That's 20 bucks on top. Yeah, that's a 20. That increases revenue right there. Yeah, because you have to buy all those vowels to spell charcuterie. That's a lot more overhead. That's so much more overhead in just the naming of it.
00:06:19
Speaker
cost you a fortune in vowels. That's a good one. Oh, shit. That's funny. That's funny right there. Dude, I find myself saying that all because of old Nick. That dude had me saying it has
00:06:37
Speaker
I've been saying like, oh, that's funny, like that all the time. Even today, like when I was at the pool swimming, like I was like in the middle of a lap and lifeguard just tasks me because she just needs me to move over a lane for somebody. And she scares the shit out of me because like, as soon as my hand touches the wall, she like grabs my wrist. And I was like, I just pop out of the water like, ah, she's like,
00:07:03
Speaker
I just started laughing. Screaming like you're going to drown. Oh, there's piranhas. They're in the trees. But dude,
Parenthood and Readiness
00:07:16
Speaker
yeah. And so after that, I was like, that's funny. And she just looks at me like I have a dick on my forehead. And I was like, well, whatever. Sorry. OK. Think the bus driver and you just leave. Jeez. Boats.
00:07:36
Speaker
Dude, I just got a text from my buddy. He just became a dad. Sweet. He just became a dad and... Dude, yeah, six pounds, 12 ounces. 20 inches long, man. Dude, that's a pencil. That's a long baby. Baby got extruded.
00:08:05
Speaker
Geez. Got that baby off the taffy polar, dude. Wow, she had, whoa, they had her yesterday. She was supposed to get induced today. Wow, they're doing this crazy. Obviously, that's too much information for, you know, anybody's stuff, but dude, that's badass. Dude, having kids is crazy, man. So far, I've had one.
00:08:32
Speaker
Yeah, we're waiting for another five years. Dude, you know, you can't, you know, you can't be too much like, you know, you can't be too much like everyone says like, Oh, you'll never be actually ready. But it's like, you can't be too prepared, you know, like, the more you have set up for it, and the more like squared away that you feel as a person, I think it's like way better. Because I mean, I was even I was talking to my dad, because you know, he was 26. When they had me, which was the second kid,
00:09:01
Speaker
You know, and I was like, holy shit, dad, like, I don't think I could have dealt with having a kid any younger than this, like.
00:09:11
Speaker
I'm glad that I waited a little bit, like in like hats off to like some of the people like, you know, have kids at like 18 or 19 and just like, yeah, I know, like just like stick that shit out, dude. It's crazy. Like across the street, they're grandkids. They, their first kid, so like my across the street neighbors, great grandkid. When he had his first kid, he had one day off.
00:09:40
Speaker
he took a day off, like when they got back from the hospital, they took that one day off and then he was back to work the next day. And that is nuts. But I mean, like, you know, you got to do what you got to do. But holy crap. Talk about like how stressful that had to have been where it's just like, you know,
00:09:59
Speaker
That's just crazy to me. That's also when a dad could work one job, buy a house, have a car, have two cars, and raise a family from... Yeah. Well, this is his grandkid. He was like 21, probably just turned 21 when he had this kid. This was recently. This was like two years ago.
00:10:25
Speaker
Oh, so yeah, yeah, like not like if you look at like, you know, you look at it, you know, it's 23. That was 21. It's like, dude, that wasn't like that was not a prime, prime economical time. Yeah, dude. So it's like, dude, just hats
Paternity Leave and Criticism
00:10:40
Speaker
off. And I was talking to him about that. I was like, dude, that's, that's crazy. He's like, yeah, well, you got to do what you got to do.
00:10:47
Speaker
Because I feel kind of weird because still being in and everything, your paternity leave is 12 weeks. I'm still on paternity leave. I've been on paternity leave since August. It is the middle of October. Sweet. Yeah, it's nuts. It's a lot more time off than you would ever have to deal with. I think anybody in the world, like anybody in America, I don't think anybody's had that much time off, like actual paid time off.
00:11:17
Speaker
Yeah, that's, I mean, you know, all federal services like that. So that's, I think that's a good thing, you know? Yeah, no, it's like, that's a very European of them is how I always put it, you know? So it's like, but man, it's so good. And like, it's, it's just, I'm forever grateful. There was one lady who was pissed that I had that much time off. She was just like saying, it's like,
00:11:41
Speaker
You know, you're part of the problem. I was like, what do you mean? Like, what? Yeah, she was like, she's like, you know, you're part of the problem, the problem going on. She's like, you know, there's going to be a lot more, a lot more domestic violence in the service now that like paternity leaves that long. It was like, holy crap, lady. What is your correlation? Is that like, I don't know. She was she was definitely one of those six using. Yeah, she was this lady was either either, you know,
00:12:11
Speaker
Partaking in nosebeers or it was just one of those people that's just over prescribed on their vibe answer Adderall has just like tweaked out. Was she in? She was she was in the army like back in like the 90s for like four years and then got pregnant and there's like a whole long whole long backstory that yeah, and it's just it's like yeah, Jesus Christ Yeah, so life lady. Yeah, it's like, you know
00:12:42
Speaker
Well, she's never, you know, what is it? You know, never, never complain about a good deal or anything like that, I guess, you know, or if you bitch about somebody else's good deal, you're bound
Submarine Life and Experiences
00:12:55
Speaker
to get a bad deal. You know, it's all about that. True. That boat karma, you know.
00:13:01
Speaker
That's something that happens on boats. People getting the good deal. I guess that's with any job, but when it comes to the watch bill, that's something that always pissed me off when people were like, shit on a person behind his back because they always
00:13:20
Speaker
put in for leave and always got it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It's like, why do you care? You know, put in for more fucking leave if you want leave, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Just because you feel bad about it. Yeah. I mean. Just because your workload is, just because you can't share the workload. You know? Yeah. And see like that's.
00:13:38
Speaker
Yeah, that's honestly the thing, but like on one side of it, there's just like, okay, you're just, you're taking a lot of leave. You're taking a lot of leave. And like the command just gets to a point where they're just scared to deny anybody's leave. Yeah. Cause they don't want like pushback or, you know, a situation of such, you know, they're just like afraid, but you know.
00:14:01
Speaker
Well, I mean, like it was just like that one time. What was it? Um, when we were, we were a sneaky five section. Oh yeah. When we were sneaky five section, they just get super butters. Like there's no way you can, you're not going to be five section. There's the best it can get is four section. And that's just because fuck you. And it's just like, I never understood that. It's just like, I understand, you know, you know, conditioning yourself for shitty situations, which is fine.
00:14:31
Speaker
But the people who've been there for a while, it's like, you're never going to see five section, you know? Yeah. Five section, that was nice. That was way nicer than four section. Even as a, like, on the supervisor side, one, for the officers, it's ass, you know? Like, those guys are three section for two and a half years that they're on board. Yeah. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah. Granted, they're not strapped in a box all day. I mean, they can be, but...
00:15:02
Speaker
You know, it still sucks and even the best that I got as a supervisor was four section, you know? Now granted, our boat didn't have the best practices when it came to qualifying, but. No. But on the surface side, Jesus Christ, these guys are eight section like my. Yeah, dude, the only person I've ever ran into that had like it worse, like just as bad if not kind of worse in some regards,
00:15:31
Speaker
When I was in San Diego, I bumped into this guy. He was a mind man. I never ran into one of those. Yeah. Those guys are hard to find. And, uh, I ran into that guy and I was like, so what's your de-section rotation? Just like, you know, cause like anytime you bump into somebody who's not on a submarine, you have to do that stupid submarine thing where you just rub it in their face. How shitty of a time you had and just say like, ha ha in your face. I've had it worse than you. Like it's some patch of honor. And.
00:16:00
Speaker
where you actually don't win. But anyway, and then he's like, he's like, yeah, man, they're for about, dude, they're for about eight months. We were, we were port and starboard two section. I was like, Oh my God. Fuck that. Oh, I was like, nevermind. Don't want to talk about that. You know, Jesus. Yeah. I was like, so is that like port and starboard watch? He's like, no duty days. I was like, God. Oh shit. Yeah. Shit. Just for like a little tiny boat that probably has like not much on it, you know?
00:16:29
Speaker
Oh yeah, like those little, uh, those little mineboats over in Point Loma. That sucks. Like a bar, like a tugboat, essentially. Yeah. I don't, I have no idea what, what type of board deal that guy, what they were running or what excuses they had to come up with to push people for more duty days. But like, dude, shit, you know, speaking of minds, dude, I, uh, I went toward the,
00:16:55
Speaker
Naval Undersea Museum here in Washington. It's over at Naval Base Keyport across from Bangor. I'd never been before. They actually got a pretty cool exhibit. Oh yeah, I got my frickin' submarine boner hard walker through there.
00:17:13
Speaker
I mean, it was super cool. I took Julius with me. And he was, I mean, he was really interested about all the torpedoes. They have like 20 fucking torpedoes in there, like from the original like torpedo that they used in the Civil War, you know, torpedo and quotation marks around it. And they have like a big... The explodey barrel.
00:17:38
Speaker
They have mines from World War two and like there's those big ass mines you see in like, you know, German submarines would hit shit like that. Like that. That's pretty cool. They have a whole underwater demolition exhibit. They have a seal exhibit for anyone who was stationed in Point Loma and got to hear all the the Navy Seals, not the not the badass Navy Seals, the seals. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:18:08
Speaker
Yeah, and then they had a like a submarine history. They got like qual cards from the 60s and shit like that. Pretty cool. Yeah, so if anyone is hearing this and is over in Washington, go check that out. Dude, I saw an article like speaking of like seals and stuff. I saw an article that like the Navy is going to start like testing Navy seals for steroids.
00:18:30
Speaker
Really? Why would you do that? Yeah, why would you do that? Why would you do that? I think we should still give people amphetamines. Like, you know how much better I would stay and watch if I had amphetamines? Oh my god. Dude, I would take logs every seven minutes, every seven and a half minutes, just to do something, dude. Yeah. Holy shit. Chewing a hole in my lip, you know? Dude, it'd be the squeakiest maneuvering you've ever seen.
00:18:56
Speaker
Oh, yeah, dude, especially during like inspections, like, oh, yeah, just any inspection, you should get like some, you know, courtesy, like, courtesy, fetamines, you know. Did you never feel a Norse? Holy shit. Dude, no, it's just like freaking like, you're going for your your interview and you're just sweating bullets.
00:19:21
Speaker
You all right? Yeah, fine. Let's go. Let's go. The inch comes in. Hey, Cole, how are you doing? It's like, sir, I am rolling. Fuck, absolutely rolling. That would be the way to do it.
00:19:42
Speaker
Yeah, I'm surprised. I mean, I'm sure people do Adderall. I mean, it is an amphetamine. But you will pop on that shit, so. So speaking of which, so not going to name any names or anything. But so we were on, OK, we were on deployment, right? And so I don't even know what exactly I was doing. That's kind of like kind of a nub. That was definitely a nub at that point.
00:20:10
Speaker
Um, so I go to go to the head, you know, to use the head. And, um, one of the guys coming down, he was, he was the chief of the watch at the time. Um, he got relieved to go do a head break, bumped into him in the head and he had a little, he just right in front of me, took out a little foil package, like
00:20:36
Speaker
opened it up, there was white powder in there, he had a long pinky nail, freaking took a quick bump, and he was like, hey, yeah, you want some? And I was like, no. And he was like, no, it's just a crushed up caffeine pill. And I was like, sure. I respectfully decline. And that guy is a chief now.
00:20:57
Speaker
bumped into him not by a couple years later and I was like, holy shit. Really? He was like, yeah. I'm like, wow. My last memory of you is you taking a, smelling some flour, dude. It was some booger sugar. Yeah, and some nose candies, dude. I'm like, Jesus. Why does daddy sniff the flour?
00:21:26
Speaker
mommy drinks the angry water yeah so like another thing like I would I would enjoy just doing like random stuff just like you know a spelling bee of of you know good old submarine dictionary terms oh yeah like so it's a good topic to cover you know the bow cod
00:21:56
Speaker
The book the classic beat off cut off day the beat off cut off day Paramount there's everyone has their own individual equilibrium equation for this science hasn't really studied the boca at all that much but what we do know is that it works.
00:22:19
Speaker
Um, until you bump the pier and they say, nevermind. And then, you know, you just, the bow cod shifts to the Joe Poe, which is the jerk off pass out because you just have gotten yourself so frustrated the past, you know, week, just cause you stopped beating off to save that special load for that special somebody. Everyone's got their own way of doing it. Uh, no, I was never in the same port as my, you know, partner, but
00:22:49
Speaker
I heard of the classic bring to 8.4 ounce, what is that? Pineapple juice with you, so you get down that 12 hours before you pull in.
00:23:01
Speaker
Uh, yeah. And like, and plus you gotta be careful cause you don't want the bow cod to be too far away from pulling day. You know, obviously you want it as far away as you can as, as reasonable, you know, to keep your sanity. But if you put it too far out and like too far out, you know, you start getting cranky and if you put it even further out, you know, you start accidentally like levitating things. You get angry and the lights start flickering. You don't.
00:23:29
Speaker
It's not safe for anybody, not sub safe.
00:23:35
Speaker
Take zinc tablets, you know, that'll help out. We had a- Shoot ropes. Yeah, we had a whole, that turned into an underway meme for a long time was shooting ropes or what we got it from was like this little article because I was just like, you know, we're obviously trying to do research while we're in port for a little bit. And there was an article that was just like, how to cum more jizz.
00:24:03
Speaker
So we were just talking about CMJ, man, you got to come more Jesus. Come for Jews. It's just like that is the funniest fucking sentence ever is come more Jews. Dude, OK, what's the next one? OK, BD and W W Bravo Delta November whiskey whiskey whiskey, which is which is a classic one, which is broke dick, no worky worky.
00:24:32
Speaker
self-explanatory yeah yeah super self-explanatory um anything can be bd and ww in a blink of an eye you know a turbid yeah a drain pump a toaster the ice cream machine especially the important parts um
00:24:54
Speaker
Lots of toilets. Yeah. Lots of toilets. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. So here's a synonym for your significant other, which is the import sock.
00:25:07
Speaker
a good old import sock. You have your underway sock and you have your import sock, which I thought was super funny. And then you call your wife that to her face and then it's not funny anymore. So use that sparingly.
00:25:25
Speaker
But on one end, so like a good, a good, I believe this was like one of the, one of my last couple underways. But I think I, I, you'll probably remember this too, Gonzo. It was cause like afterwards we were hanging out topside, just shooting the shit, waiting for shutdown. But we underway, we made a bet. Like me and two other guys about like who could get a blowjob before,
00:25:57
Speaker
Like who could get a blow job first when we pull in, right? And so as soon as we pulled in and the brow was down and I could like reasonably, you know, I didn't, I was senior enough and like, I didn't really have too many responsibilities for the, you know, pulling period and everybody's offloading trash. I go topside, you know, make a phone call real quick. And, you know, turns out the wife had came to surprise me in the parking lot.
00:26:22
Speaker
And so I was like, well, you know what, Liberty's not down, but. You know, in this grand universe we live in, I'm actually in charge of me if you really think about it. So out the gate, I went and then yeah, dude, like before Liberty was even remotely down or anything, like.
00:26:43
Speaker
Frickin hitting it off behind the chaplain's office in Point Loma. Park the car, literally walked past the XO going through the gate, and he says nothing. Probably the only time that dude was ever a bro was then, is when I was totally outside the gate.
00:27:03
Speaker
literally a half hour, 45 minutes before Liberty was down. And I come walking back to the pier and I see the other, the other two guys, um, that we made the bet with, you know, they're, they're handling shore power and stuff. And I was like, Hey, guess what? And they're like, what? I was like, I won. They're like, you won what? I was like, you know, they're like, no fucking way, dude. That's not even fair. Race to the finish. Yeah. So, and that's a trooper.
00:27:34
Speaker
Um, a buddy of mine said that like, you know, the wife, she should have got honorary fish because of that because I did not shower prior to that. Yeah. So she, if there's, if there is, if there's a submarine wife that deserves, you know, like honorary dolphins, probably that, probably that gets you there. Like just the, probably the smell of Amy would make me gag right now. Like they're just, Oh God.
00:28:02
Speaker
What a Jesus Christ. Yeah. Women are tough, man. Women are tough and boatloads are not. Oh God. Those are way different than import loads, dude. Well, I, you know, I've, I've never, uh, I don't know. Like in what, in what regards though, what regards, Oh, you got to think about your diet. Yeah. Like your boat diet, one, you're drinking, you're pounding, Reggie's red balls.
00:28:29
Speaker
you know, or monsters or, you know, your choice of shitty. Yeah. Oh yeah. You're just drinking. Yeah. You drinking UHT and like eating like, you know, tuna salad. That's mostly mayo. Canned vegetables.
Submarine Humor
00:28:46
Speaker
Nothing but preservatives and dry chicken. Oh God. And then the cookie grumble. That's the only thing you're eating, you know? Yeah, Jesus. And oatmeal. Lots of oatmeal.
00:28:56
Speaker
Yeah. And like, or yeah, it was probably like, really like, you know, there's a lot more sodium in hot chocolate than you think. So it was probably, yeah.
00:29:06
Speaker
Yeah. It's granular. It's just like, you know, frigging shooting rock salt, dude. It's like a pop rock. Yeah, it's like duffer teeth, dude. Like, Jesus. You know, let's look, what's the next, what's the next thing? Oh, Reggie. Yeah, we mentioned Reggie. That was our boat.
00:29:28
Speaker
are both term for Red Bull, you know? Yeah, good. Yeah, stuck sugar free Reggie should free Reggie's. Yeah, yeah, super easy. So, uh, uh, flooding buddies.
00:29:42
Speaker
It's a, there you go. Yeah. Important and important conversation. Like, where are you talking about? A lot of trust, you know? A lot of, yeah, a lot of trust there or a lot of distrust. It depends on what side of. Looking over your shoulder. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If it, if it like, there's two reasons, reasons to be, you know, if like, if flooding's a thing, there's two reasons why it's scary. A, imminent death, whatever. Flooding buddies.
00:30:11
Speaker
You know, some people might be excited. Some people may not because the, your flooding buddy is, you know, your last hurrah on this earth. Um, you know, so everybody has one. If you're, if you're not really sure what a flood, should we go into detail? Yeah, I don't have any remarks. A flooding buddy is somebody you fuck, um, but w w during flooding, you know, it's your last going down. You got to get it in before it gets you. You know what I mean?
00:30:41
Speaker
And since you know, we were on 688 where it's all men at least right now so yeah a lot of uh, I Get real comfortable real quick and you and usually you pick you know, your flooding buddy is someone junior than you, you know For the most part. Yeah, or maybe your best friend, you know on your own the boat it could definitely be that and
00:31:03
Speaker
or a challenge. Anybody you would seem to be a challenge, right? You know, you see that like, you know, submarines, a lot of people think that everybody's on a submarine is like under like, you know, under 510. Not the case, there's some like, you know, six, eight. Yes, guys who are like, you know, six, eight, 300 and some pounds, like you pick that guy, you know, it's gonna be like, you know, the tables might turn real quick.
00:31:24
Speaker
Yeah, and then it's going to be really awkward if the drain pump ends up working, you know. Then you've got to hope that the drain pump doesn't work or whatever. Or you pick the guy with the smallest hands because his hands will make your cock look amazing. It'll make your cock look huge. There's a spreadsheet somewhere, probably a graph of where to pick your best swing.
00:31:52
Speaker
Yeah, some people have multiple flooding buddies, you know, they're poly flooding, polyamorous, others are in a, what do they call that? Polycule, is that a thing? Yeah, it's called a polycule. It's a multiple people, you know, so an orgy, or you could have some competition, you know, you may pick a guy who someone else has already claimed, kind of like prison rules in a way, you know, but sucks to be that guy.
00:32:19
Speaker
Yeah. Or you could just, you know, have a soup kitchen in sand three, where you just like have a pool of people where you all agree to meet on one place. And that's just, you know, just, you know, jerkle, circ the whole, you know, yeah. And then that would be really awkward if the drain pump ended up working, you know? Yeah. So, uh, if anyone's who's listening, if you want to comment on our Instagram, send us a message and, uh, tell us about your flooding buddy, who it was.
00:32:47
Speaker
Or maybe don't mention names. I don't know if you want to. Or tell us a cool story or something funny. That would be cool. No one's messaged us yet. So it would be nice to share what other submariners have experienced. We'll read it out loud. We'll keep you anonymous. Don't worry. Yeah. But I have gotten a message from somebody from the boat. I don't think he'll mind if I shout him out. Good old hood rich. That dude.
00:33:14
Speaker
He actually said that he enjoyed what we did last time, which was funny, because I hung out with that dude all the time, like in the maneuvering watch in the torpedo room. That dude, funny guy. Yeah, funny dude. So shout out to you, good old hood rich dude. Thank you. Little flaming haired dude. What's next? So here's one. So everybody talks about no shitters.
00:33:43
Speaker
But I don't like, on the boat, it was the first time I ever heard the term Hong Kong no-shitter, which there's a clear difference because there was a no-shitter, and then there's a Hong Kong no-shitter where you can actually say, that's just to the nth degree above. It's one standard deviation more intense than a no-shitter. It has one degree of less shit in it.
00:34:13
Speaker
One degree more serious, which let's go, uh, urban dictionary, a seemingly unbelievable event that is indeed true and verifiable by credible persons. I don't know that kind of doesn't really, uh, maybe. I don't know. See, I don't know. It's, it's mostly like, I think, I think those, like those terms just kind of, you know, they kind of explain themselves. It's more of a, it's more of a feeling.
00:34:42
Speaker
you know, it's like, you know, it's like, it's like the breath of nature, you know, it's like trying to explain like Native American words, you know, like, you know, indigenous languages to people. It's like, well, there's not a translation for that. This is the, it's like the word umami, you know, it's just like, umami flavors is like just savory, but it's not quite, you know, it's just like, you know,
00:35:08
Speaker
the Hong Kong no-shitter is just, you know, just feels rounder. I don't know. Yeah. I guess we had, we had our share of Hong Kong no-shitters. I could think of two specific events. Yeah. Yeah. So you had some pretty, you had some good ones. You got the good ones. Yeah. I was fortunate in that regard. Yeah. Do you think, do you think that, so if anybody's like listening, it's like, probably knows like there's always that one guy who gets all the,
00:35:35
Speaker
Always happens on his watch, always. And so we used to always say that Wes had the curse of the great Bambino. He adds the curse.
00:35:45
Speaker
It would always happen on his watch. It happened on his watch actually so often there was one time that I relieved him for like, uh, for his mid watch break. And then it happened to me because I took part of his watch. And then the next time I was like, man, now I have, now I have the curse of the great Bambino. It's finally transferred over. Nope. Like two watches later, two days later, boom happened to him again. So was that the, uh, the electric plant?
00:36:15
Speaker
uh, Sparky Sparky, or was that the, what happened there? Oh, that was the, the pump pumpy pumpy thing. Yeah. That was the pump pumpy dumpy. Yeah. Where they just.
00:36:27
Speaker
just decided to just not to tell anybody that like we're going to run torpedo, like just not even like mention it to the officers or anybody that like, hey, we're going to be running drills of this sort, you know, we're going to be running maneuvering transients to this degree. So like when, you know, when no one tells you about anything and you get called away torpedo evasion, you know, you're just like, okay, well, that's, this is a Hong Kong oceaner. So bing, bong, bing, bong, bing, bong.
00:36:56
Speaker
freaking fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck
00:37:26
Speaker
But yeah, that was, that was pretty cool. Cause I can only imagine the confusion for people because they didn't communicate it to us because then it's just like, okay, we're going to run a torpedo evasion. And then they hear like a couple, a couple of things go bump, bump, bump, and then everything's just starts going bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump.
00:37:51
Speaker
freaking the whole engine, like, you know, the whole engine remember that was just like going, honestly hindsight is like where you really think about like the funny things to say in those moments.
00:38:09
Speaker
And it's like, I really wish I would just lean over to like the electrical operators. Just like, just, just raise on everything. Just raise. Just keep raising. Hold it there. Yeah. Just keep raising. It's okay if we end up high. It's okay. Just like, yeah, that was, that was pretty fun.
00:38:28
Speaker
But yeah, so yeah that that goes to show you if somebody has the curse the great Bambino never take their watch Let him let him die of a UTI, you know They can pee their pants don't take their watch Hey, they'll figure it out. They'll get some nub to piss in Yeah, this is some nubs mouth over your mouth. Oh, dude. So, um
00:38:54
Speaker
That was also a thing, another submarine term, not pissing in the nubs' mouth. Don't piss in nubs' mouths. No, don't do that. They don't like it. That's what the FSAs are for. The FSAs are for calling FSA back to the engine room or up to control or wherever you're at, and they should be able to help you. That's part of their duties and responsibilities.
00:39:19
Speaker
as an FSA. Also, if you, if when you go to sleep, like so if anybody who's listening to this hasn't been on submarine before, when you show up to your boat or whatever, you should sleep with your with your hands and and toes outside of your rack curtain. That way, the FSA is come by and they trim your fingernails for you. They like use their teeth, they just knock them off. They just
00:39:44
Speaker
That's how everybody always stays so clean on the boat. That's why it's so nice. That's how FSAs are in their own rack. They like to do it. It's what they want to do. We've all had to be there to ride a passenger. Let's see, what else is there? That's the other submarine term, the tan method. The tan method is telling up.
00:40:15
Speaker
It's how coffee gets made. It's how trash gets taken out. It's how the trash gets taken out. It's like literally, it's part of, it's a method, it's tried and true.
00:40:30
Speaker
If you can't find a nub, make a nub, figure it out, you know, just like, uh, you, you know, just like, you know, you know, make it fun. Um, or there's the to Dan method, the Teladink ass nub. Um, that also works. Um, might not get as quick as a response of things. Cause you know, there's, there's reasons for things, you know, like, you know, they might not work fast, but.
00:40:58
Speaker
a coffee pot made eventually is still a coffee pot made. So as long as you're doing something, something's getting done. Sometimes it's hard being senior. Yeah, a lot of responsibility.
00:41:12
Speaker
Yeah, it's a lot of responsibility, a lot of- A lot of disappointment, you know? Yeah. Yeah, you just have to be disappointed all the time. You know, you just gotta rack out, just rack in the future. Why can't you just do this right? Yeah. You need a bitch about people not being qualified and do nothing to help them. And then just rack out to where, and then like, you know.
00:41:32
Speaker
Yeah, react to the future. Yeah, just react to the future, find the messenger, yell at the messenger for whatever reason, probably call them a nub or do what you want. Messenger comes to wake you up at your normal wake up time that's happened 30 times in a row, swing on them, just swing through the rat curtain. Just like, what's his right
00:41:59
Speaker
to wake you up. To wake you up for the watch that you have to stand. You know, how dare he give me a fifth wake up when I'm obviously not out of the rack and it's 30 minutes fast, you know, breakfast. Yeah. Swing on him. Swing on that dude. Jeez. The wrong wake ups. That's something people won't understand unless you're on a submarine. Getting woken up or getting called someone
00:42:28
Speaker
You're not, uh, for you. If, if you not on a submarine, there's such a thing as a rack bill. I guess all sailors have that, but, uh, turns out nubs can't read. They, uh, they, they don't understand names or they don't know how to read a map, you know, which is, there's only 80 racks on a submarine. Yeah. You know, um, and they can't tell time. So they, they wake up the wrong people.
00:42:54
Speaker
They don't know their port from their starboard or their inboard from their outboard. So I got called, yeah, someone who's not me. Many, many times got woken up. I'm like, dude, it's not me. Other side of burning. You know what really could have just solved that and now that I'm thinking about it?
00:43:16
Speaker
The one thing that we have a shit ton of is tape and Velcro. You could just literally have just made it a thing where it's like, hey, whatever rack you're sleeping in, you just put a name tag right there. Whoever's looking for it, you need to be like, okay, cool, boom. It would probably help a limit. It probably wouldn't solve it. It'd probably just create people more unreasonably pissed off at people for fucking up an easy thing.
00:43:43
Speaker
But at least help, you know, instead of like trying to like guess sometimes they could just be like, oh, like I'm waking this person up. Oh, no name taking match. OK, cool. You know, that would have helped. I mean, we kind of have that. I mean, that person's poopy suit is hanging right outside their rack for the most part, you know. Yeah. But like, who's going to check that in? I always did. Yeah. What I hated. Oh, dude, the.
00:44:12
Speaker
When the hooks in birthing got like seven or eight poopy suits on them. Oh, yeah. God damn it. That would piss me the fuck off so much having to just get, you know, poopy suit ass in your face, that smell of a dirty poopy suit.
00:44:29
Speaker
Oh, God. I still remember that. God. What really chapped my ass was when somebody would have their towel hanging up to dry in the middle of the spot, right in the middle of a walkway or something, and then you just climb out of your rack and you just get a face full of just
00:44:50
Speaker
Moist. Just damp ass. It was like clean. It's I mean, at least it was hopefully soaked ass, but I mean, it's still like wet, damp ass. Dude, there's one time I like a guy was like, he had his wet towel on on my rack. And like, I almost dude, I came unglued. I was like, unacceptable. Yeah, I'm gonna kill you.
00:45:20
Speaker
So, closing out with a couple more submarine dictionary terms. So, and these are in an exact order. These are in increasing severity. So you have snafu, tarrifu, fubar, and then bohika. Bohika is probably one that's gonna sadly happen the most.
00:45:46
Speaker
naturally. It's just that's submarine 101. Actually, the way I learned boheka was from my dad who learned it from diesel sub guys, because they had it on their command shirts.
00:46:02
Speaker
Because it's such a submarine thing, which is, bend over, here it comes again. That's as bad as it gets because it keeps on happening. And then, so back down to the bottom, so snafu, situation normal, all fucked up.
00:46:17
Speaker
So that could be like, you know, um, you know, your shoe comes untied, snafu. Oh no, you know, like whatever you stub your toe on the way out of work, you know, whatever. Cool. Someone, you know, you put your toast in and you forgot that, you know, somebody was making a frozen waffle before and now you have, you turn the bread into a rectangular meteorite, you know, snafu.
00:46:41
Speaker
Yeah, then going on to Tarfu, which is things are really fucked up. So yeah, you're you're looking at, you know, a fender bender on the highway, you know, like you're
00:46:52
Speaker
You miss a step in a procedure, and then someone gets an alarm, and then everyone has to stop working. Yes, someone finds out you missed a step in a procedure. That's the thing. Someone found out you did something, right? Because even in the world of full integrity, it's almost more integrative to just shut up. Sometimes that's where you show your courage, is how much flame you can take and still shut up.
00:47:20
Speaker
Yeah, so yeah, a good example of Tarfu. Fubar fucked up beyond all repair. So yeah, so that's – I would say Boheka is pretty much a bunch of Fubars and Tarfus just keep on happening just generally.
00:47:36
Speaker
Fubar I would say is like when you're the person who fucked up, but like six people before you already fucked up like in similar ways. So by the time it gets to you, it's just not a joke. It's not a game anymore. And they're just like, you know, we're really gonna throw the book at this guy, you know, teach him a lesson. Yeah, fires. Well, things after a fire. Fucked up in all repair, just fucked up Fubar.
00:48:06
Speaker
Also, you could probably draw some crazy lines and have a wicked flowchart if you're just looking at BD and WW, so Broke Dick, No Worky Worky, as it relates to Foo Bar Tar Foo and Boheka. They're all connected. It's all a system. It's the circle of life. That's my outlook on things and how they break.
00:48:37
Speaker
And they will break. And they will break. And it was, if it can be broken by man, if it can be made by man, it will be broken. It will break. It will break. It's just a matter of when. Very true. And how catastrophic it decides to break. And when you're in the wreck, it will probably happen. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, was it?
00:49:02
Speaker
Murphy's law, is that what that is? Yeah, Murphy's law. If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. That happened once in the A school, if anybody's familiar with an electrical type A school, they're talking about, they ask somebody, they're like, and what is Linz's law? And it calls on somebody, it's like, whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. You're retarded. You are stupid. Yeah.
00:49:30
Speaker
But yeah, so I think that's pretty much covers it for today. That'll eat up some time on someone's long drive or something, learning about all the different submarine-isms.
Listener Engagement and Suggestions
00:49:44
Speaker
Yeah, guys, if you want specific topics covered, let us know so we could expand
00:49:52
Speaker
what we talk about, I think that would help. And keep it fun for us. Yeah, or if you need some help with a certain situation, like say I'm in this situation and you want our outlook on it, always here to help. Always here to help. Yeah, give some, you know, often therapeutic advice, I feel like it would be. Or cold indifference, or just cold indifference. If you just need a dose of cold indifference,
00:50:21
Speaker
who better to give it to you than a couple. Or if you want us to roast you, we'll do that as well. I'm pretty good at that. All right. If you want to, if you want to get flame, get roasted. We'll light you up. Yeah. Instagram down ladder podcast. Look us up. Give us a light.
00:50:42
Speaker
I got a bunch of AI-generated pictures that I'm going to be posting that has to do with submarines, at least it's trying to be a submarine. The AI has yet to learn what the inside of a 688 submarine looks like, but we're getting there.
00:50:57
Speaker
It's all mate related since, uh, most everyone in inch depth is a monkey of some kind. Um, at least that's what I think when I, you know, I see a mechanic swing on a wrench. I'm like, this, this is an ape. Uh, let's, let's put 180 pounds of my full body weight on this teeny tiny switch. Exactly. All right, you guys. Well, Hey, everybody take it easy. And, uh, yeah, see you guys next time.
00:51:28
Speaker
Sweet. Damn Letta.