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Kindness is EVERYTHING
207 Plays2 years ago
Kels here with your reminder that you have a superpower and that superpower, and that superpower is your kindness! You have a choice in this world, and sometimes it isn't easy, but it is your choice to be kind even in the hardest times. Kindness is a gift we have as humans and it is one of the biggest things we can do to raise the vibration of this whole world. It's also worth the reminder that those who struggle to make this choice are probably not living their best lives. They are human too. Give them grace by listening and not stooping to their level.
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Transcript
Introduction & Personal Update
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to Awake and Bake, an educational, high-vibrational, mystical, spiritual, pot, I'm sorry, podcast, from two girls, one joint, and a journey to awaken what's inside all of us. In the words of the wise was Khalifa, let's roll something and get the day started. Actually, today it's coming from you from one girl, no joint, because that girl is with child. I am also officially halfway done, 20 weeks today, so kind of exciting, not a big deal.
00:00:29
Speaker
But yeah, Dani is traveling this
The Power of Kindness
00:00:31
Speaker
week. And so if you listened on Monday, she did her solo episode and it was all about finding her power again. And it was incredibly inspirational. It reminded me so much how important it is to go back to gratitude. And kind of just having that reminder of such a simple lesson and not even spirituality necessarily, but being a good person reminded me the importance of kindness, which is something that I think we also forget.
00:00:59
Speaker
Like from a basic level, kindness should always be what we're choosing. And I feel like in this world where there are millions, billions, I think, of different people coming from different places with different perspectives and different experiences, it's more important than ever to remember that our superpower as humans here is that we can choose kindness, we can choose empathy. And obviously there are situations where you feel like you need to be
00:01:26
Speaker
to defend yourself. If someone's really coming at you and attacking you, whether it be, you know, physically or verbally, whatever, there are certain times where you have to, you know, quote unquote, fight back. However, I think those times are a lot more limited than we actually believe or we actually act out.
Managing Conflict with Empathy
00:01:44
Speaker
I think that a lot of times it's not about attacking back. It's about defending yourself. And sometimes like the best way, I think the best way to do that is to walk away.
00:01:55
Speaker
And you can do that in a kind way. You can say to someone, hey, this conversation is not going anywhere. I see what you're saying. I don't know if you see what I'm saying, but I can tell that this is not somewhere that we're going to ever really breach an agreement. So I think we should just walk away from each other and end this. Or you could say, you know, I'm feeling a little bit.
00:02:16
Speaker
I'm starting to get a little bit overwhelmed. I feel like I need to walk away. There's a million different ways to say it. And sometimes it's so hard to take that high road and not stoop to the level of others, especially when they're kind of trying to bring you down. And sometimes they're doing it in a very passive way. Like there are times that you'll see someone wearing a shirt that has a logo of something that you really disagree with.
00:02:44
Speaker
I'm not talking about a swastika, obviously, fuck that guy. But some people will be wearing Trump shirts, say, I clearly am not a Trump supporter. And I'm also not trying to really get political. This is just the first example that came to my head. And sometimes I'll see that and my reaction is like, roll your eyes, they're so stupid, whatever. And then I stop and I remind myself, they're just a person.
00:03:09
Speaker
whatever, they have their beliefs, they, that's the whole thing. That's the whole, people can disagree. That's the whole purpose of this life is that we can all have different ideas and different opinions and like really me stepping into their circle isn't going to help the problem at all or we'll just create a problem than I am the problem. And it can be so hard, like coworkers, acquaintances, strangers, like clients, if that's how you work, family, even like they're going to challenge you sometimes to keep it positive.
00:03:39
Speaker
And it's so difficult to sometimes remind yourself, like, I have the power to not do this. I have the power to not lower my vibration to the vibration that's coming at me.
Navigating Negativity Online
00:03:52
Speaker
I have the power to keep my frequency high, stay calm, stay collected, stay cool, be understanding, and just recognize that this is another human coming at me with their full beliefs. You know, they're coming at me
00:04:06
Speaker
and maybe they're really worked up, maybe they're really upset about something.
00:04:11
Speaker
something that they're going through and I don't need to add fuel to that fire. I don't then need to make this an argument or I don't need to make this a battle of opinion, a battle of the wits, a battle of anything really because there's just no sense in that. As humans, we want to be here to spread goodness and we want to be here to keep this world going and we want to be here to make an impact, a positive impact
00:04:38
Speaker
And to do that, you have to remind yourself that like, I am the bigger person. I am my higher self. I am going to choose to always put myself in a place of dignity.
00:04:52
Speaker
and in a place of respect for others and in a place of kindness. And I think that, yeah, we just kind of, I know I really sometimes need this reminder of like, this is who I am. This is the power that I have. This is who I want to be even when I'm feeling really tempted to fall into those small places, even like on social media especially. I don't have Facebook because I find it to be like the most negative aspect of social media. I find like,
00:05:20
Speaker
Whoo, it just stresses me out. I've tried going back to it multiple times. I have tried to like step and dip my toe in Facebook world and see what it's like. And then I just like, I don't know. I don't think.
00:05:32
Speaker
I don't think Instagram does it the same way, lets people share things like that and have those opinions just placard out and gives people the same strength to say things with their chest that they would never say with their chest if they were just talking to me face to face. I just find it very intimidating. TikTok too sometimes. I don't go on TikTok very much. I have it on my phone. I made them for a little while and it was fun. Don't get me wrong, there are positive
00:06:02
Speaker
aspects of apps like that. And there's positive aspects of social media. But TikTok is just one that like Facebook, I found it's harder for me to keep kindness at like the forefront of it, not even from myself personally, but just seeing other people being cruel to other people like I just it affects me so much. It makes me want to like step in and defend people. And while again, there is times and places where you should be stepping in and you should be defending people.
00:06:30
Speaker
It's not always your job. It's not always your place to do that. And I think that's where it gets hard because social media makes it feel like, oh, it is though. Like I can comment, so I should comment. And like, no, a lot of times, no, we don't need to comment back because that's just fueling the fire. It's kind of like that, you know, two wrongs don't make it right. Like,
00:06:52
Speaker
If someone is being cruel for the sake of being cruel, I think it's a lot better to just ignore it. I think that gives them a lot less power. And I also think it's worth the thought of someone who's sitting alone in their room, whatever, and writing these nasty things.
00:07:12
Speaker
is probably going through something because no one who's happy is going to be doing that. And when I'm happy, that is never, ever what I want to be doing. And I really don't think anyone who's in a true high vibration of happiness, of love, of gratitude is ever going to feel the need to have comments like that or actions like that. So just the reminder of like,
00:07:34
Speaker
those people, they're not necessarily bad people. They're just making bad choices, and so you don't need to make that choice with them.
Understanding Through Nursing Stories
00:07:42
Speaker
You don't need to stoop to that level. You don't need to do what they're doing.
00:07:48
Speaker
or deleting comments. That's something I'll do on my own personal stuff. Like when I see stuff that's not even necessarily mean, but just like, I don't know, something I don't want on my stuff. I feel like I have the right and I know I do have the right to delete those things. And like, I don't need to be seeing things I don't want to see on my personal page. If I sound out of breath, it's because I'm pregnant and I feel like I'm always getting out of breath. Also, Danny's not here, so it's just me talking. So I'm like,
00:08:14
Speaker
Oh my God, I can't have any empty spaces, can't not talk, like need to keep going. So like, yeah, like, I just think, yeah, there's so many different people that you're never gonna understand everyone and it's impossible that we're ever gonna agree with everyone that we come across. And not agreeing with someone, having different opinions with someone is not worth writing them off. It's not worth making them
00:08:44
Speaker
an enemy in your eye. I think that's something that I know I really fell into like around 2016. I don't know. Yeah. Kind of with the rise of like the Trump life, um, because I really found it hard to like accept people who would vote for something like that because to me it was such a moral issue. Um, not even political. Like it just felt like morals. Um, so there were a lot of people that I was like writing off and just being like, Oh, they're fucking idiot. They're fucking idiot.
00:09:14
Speaker
And now looking back and even how I take the approach now when I hear people talk about being someone who supports policy like that, being someone who supports people like that, I try to take it with a grain of sand and remind myself, okay, so listen to what they're saying, listen to why they feel this way. And a lot of times I find it's because they're misunderstanding what I'm saying and that's okay. People don't have to always
00:09:42
Speaker
get it, if that makes sense. I think what's more important, especially with things like that, is that they're sharing themselves with the world and they're trying to express what it is that they want or they need. So even though to me, like, oh, it's just like, oh, it's a vote for Trump. But what they needed was hope. There is a reason that people turn to someone like him and it's because in their
00:10:12
Speaker
perspectives in their minds. They needed someone to fight for them. They felt like they were left behind. So like everyone can kind of empathize with that feeling. And when you take it away from being about the certain situation and break it down into just being about the reason or about the driving force behind those things, it almost always boils down to something that you can find a way to empathize with. You can find a way to connect to. And again, like you might not understand
00:10:42
Speaker
the core of what is their belief. But if you can understand the feeling of what they're going through, I think that really helps us to open our eyes and be like, okay, yeah, that makes sense for you. For you in this moment, that makes sense that I understand you and I hear you. I feel like we forget the power and even just saying to people like, I see you, I hear you. You don't have to when someone is sharing an opinion that you don't agree with, you don't have to
00:11:11
Speaker
counter it, you know, you can choose kindness and just say, Hey, yes, I hear you. I see you. I accept what you're going through and hopefully it gets better. You know, there's, excuse me, so many options of choosing a road of high vibration, I think is what I want to say, but just, you know, like just choosing words, our words mean so much. So choosing words that are not attacking, they're not vile.
00:11:42
Speaker
they're not putting someone down, even if someone's putting you down, like you have to remember that there's probably a reason they like the, you know, everyone says bullies are like the biggest cowards. It's true. Like people who are mean are, it's not because they're powerful. It's not because they're smart. It's not because they're right. It's because they're afraid. It's because they're afraid for some reason of whatever it is that you're bringing. So like, instead of battling that with exactly what they're fighting with,
00:12:11
Speaker
Try battling that with letting them know like, hey, I see you. I'm not gonna take this anymore. I'm gonna leave. But I hope you have a good day. I hope going forward you figure this out. I hope you can come forward. Working as a nurse, this is something that I really had to master is being able to be kind to literally anyone and everyone. I worked in an ER for a while in a city
00:12:40
Speaker
We were trauma er so we would get a lot of different crazy things And we were also the only hospital that had a lockdown ward so like for inmates and stuff to come to so like I had to work with actual criminals and the thing is when someone comes to an emergency room or anything medical anything for medical attention you have to give them a
00:13:03
Speaker
Kindness, you have to just treat them exactly the way you treat every single other person that came in as a patient. You have to see them as just a human. They are not what they did. They are not their past. They are just a human who is in pain in this moment and I want to help them. So like I had, I remember one time a guy was carried in, he was handcuffed at his ankles and at his hand, like at his wrists and he was carried in like face down.
00:13:32
Speaker
and had a spit guard on like just completely. It was like so scary at first because I was like, Oh my God, this is like what I see in movies, but like he was a real person and he had had wounds of some sort. Um, and then they thought he had ingested something. So like they thought he was trying to end his own life. Um, and so I walked in and I was not alone because they wouldn't let you know, they are safe. They wouldn't let one person go in alone.
00:14:01
Speaker
So me and another nurse I was working with went in. There was a guard there with him at all times. And I just remember sitting down, we were going to get his history and stuff. And I was like, okay, so what's your name? Did a birth, blah, blah, blah. And then I was like, and what's your favorite color? And he kind of laughed and he was like red. And I was like, oh my God, mine's green. You know, like just connecting, just having a human moment with this person. And then from then on, like he kind of opened up and not like,
00:14:31
Speaker
I'm not saying I changed his life or made him see the light, but I'm saying I made him feel human again. And this happens for people that aren't criminals even. I had a ton of different experiences of people who had kind of put themselves in the situation that they were in the hospital for, whether it be drug use or alcohol abuse was something that we saw a lot, just not taking care of themselves and they would be so miserable to deal with. There was a man who
00:15:02
Speaker
was a big drug user in his past, and so it led to a lot of different medical ailments at the time. He was, I think, in his early 50s, late 40s, and he was very, very sick, and everyone on the floor hated working with him. They all hated having to spend time with him. He was rude. He was mean.
00:15:23
Speaker
He would throw things like he was just so hostile and I got assigned to him as a nurse aide one day and I was like, okay, well, I'm going to go and sit in and I'm going to call, I'm going to call him Jake for the sicko story. Um, and so I was like, all right, well, I'm going to go sit in with him and like, I'm going to try and get him to take his medicine that he never takes. And so I sat down and I was like, Hey, Jake, like, how's it going? I'm Kelsey. Like I'm just a nurse aide here. Um, but I heard you haven't been taking your meds. Like what's going on?
00:15:54
Speaker
After, I don't know, maybe three, four minutes of talking, I found out that it was because he wasn't really told what each medication did. Now I was at nursing school at the time, so I knew that there are different education sheets that we could find online, and I printed them off for each medication that he had to take so that I could go through them with him and show him, oh, this is what this one's gonna do, this is what this one's gonna do, and at the end of the day, he ended up taking all of them. And then after that, he ended up allowing
00:16:22
Speaker
more things to happen, like more intervention to be done because I would sit down and explain to him what's going on. And we actually developed like a really strong relationship. I became very close with his mother. I would visit him even when I wasn't working because I lived right nearby. And we just really developed a friendship because I was one of the few people who really saw past all of the wrongdoings in his life.
00:16:49
Speaker
and who saw that when he's acting out, it's not because he's actually acting out, it's because he's in pain and because he's scared. And I gave him that opportunity to be a human to me instead of feeling defensive about him and what he said or feeling like I needed to argue back, feeling like I needed to become the level that he was on. And I remember when he ended up passing away a few months after we had met, I went to his funeral.
00:17:17
Speaker
or I guess it was, I wasn't like the funeral funeral was just like a service that his mom had at her house. And she was so happy to see me there. And like, I don't know, there were maybe 40 people. And they all knew me. He had spoken about me to every single person there and about how like, yeah, I was the one person that listened. And it was just the most affirming feeling of like,
00:17:40
Speaker
Okay, yes, everyone deserves to be treated like a person. Everyone deserves to be listened to because this person who was labeled as a jerk, who was labeled as a drug addict, who was labeled as non-compliant, wasn't any of those things.
Personal Growth & Reflection
00:17:57
Speaker
He just needed someone to take the time to
00:18:00
Speaker
actually tell him what's going on. And it just yeah, it was one of like the most life changing moments of my of my life, the life changing moments of my life. It just really stuck with me like that everyone
00:18:15
Speaker
deserves to have someone listen to them and also when someone's raising their voice at me or when someone's spewing negativity at me to remember like to ask myself okay but where are they coming from or what's really behind this because most of the time it's not you that someone's really trying to attack it's because they feel attacked that they feel like they need to act out and so like just removing yourself from the situation and asking like okay what would I need if I was feeling this way
00:18:44
Speaker
Would I need someone to keep listening or would I need someone to walk away? And then is that what it would take for me to be like, Oh, okay. Actually, I don't need to deal with this or like, this is a, I'm acting silly. And I feel like that's the other time. One other thing is like at times where I feel like I'm the one who's doing the acting out. Cause that happens too. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not a perfect person there. I have verbally attacked people or like, you know, started fights. I don't know if fights are the right word, but like.
00:19:15
Speaker
Scuttles. I've never been in a physical fight, really. I've gotten punched in the face once by a guy, but that's because I was saving the young girl that he was going to sexually assault. I feel like it was okay, and it was the most shocking thing. He didn't even hit me hard, so it wasn't a big deal. Regardless, I got totally sidetracked.
00:19:41
Speaker
But even times when I have been the one to say the mean thing first, it's been because I was feeling misunderstood or I was feeling lonely even. Yeah, I'm just going to tell this story because it's been in my dreams a lot. So when I was growing up, I had a best friend. She was my neighbor.
00:20:06
Speaker
Um, and we were like inseparable best friends. Like I said, like she was my person. Um, and in ninth grade, we both, I ended up liking a guy and then he liked her. I don't really think that she liked him back necessarily. I don't know. Um, but I immediately lashed out, like.
00:20:29
Speaker
I wrote on Facebook, another friend in me would say all these horrible things about her calling her a whore. All this stuff went hilarious because then I kind of ended up being a whore for a little bit. Also, we were in ninth grade. We were not whores. Yeah, I just lashed out. I full on bullied this girl.
00:20:49
Speaker
And it was not cool. It was not not cool. And for years, like my entire high school experience, I was like focused on her like she got she's just the worst. And like while I would not talk shit about her anymore, especially after that, her mom like printed off the Facebook things like so like that wasn't it. But like in my head, I still had in my head of like, she's like my enemy. She's the one who's she's the reason that like this happened or whatever, like, whatever, like
00:21:17
Speaker
innumerable things I would think and it wasn't until God kind of recently that I realized like okay Wow, but the real reason that I acted like that the real reason that I Responded in that way first of all to the guy liking her which is not her fault. That's that's on the guy Was because I was jealous like I was just straight jealous. That's that's all it was I was I
00:21:43
Speaker
I wanted to be liked by the guy and I ended up dating the guy for two years or something. It's the stupidest thing that I let this friendship be destroyed, imploded, exploded, whatever the right word is. I completely ended a relationship in my life over a man and did it cruelly. To this day, one of the greatest regrets of my life.
00:22:10
Speaker
hate that I was that person. However, being that person is what taught me what I'm speaking to you guys about now. That kindness is so important and that having an understanding of the people who are not kind is
00:22:24
Speaker
almost just as important, it's equally important to know why someone is the way that they are. And like I said, in that instance, it was jealousy, it was feeling like I wasn't good enough, it was thinking she was prettier, she's smarter, whatever, all these things like, that really are such bullshit. Again, like, I don't know what it is. It's so funny that high school us like, thinks high school is the end all be all, when literally now like high school means nothing.
00:22:51
Speaker
literally has absolutely no bearing on my actual life. But I would spend like hours thinking about it and thinking about it and like, oh, I hope she, you know,
00:23:05
Speaker
doesn't get asked a prom or like whatever, you know, like just the hating her, like seething with her. And now I like looking back, I can just see that like it was actually my own self despise that was like fueling this. And it was how mad I was at myself because I thought I wasn't good enough. And so I just took it out on this innocent person because that's what teenagers do when I was angsty as hell. And it just, yeah, like,
00:23:34
Speaker
I think that moment and being able to reflect on that time in my life is part of what has made me so passionate about being kind because I can understand both sides of it. I can understand people when they don't choose kindness and it's sad. Usually the reasoning is not a happy reason. And I think any person who's given the right things to grow into
00:24:02
Speaker
flourish into a good person and into a high vibrational person would never choose bullying like we would never choose to be cruel. It happens when we're in those low places. And it's part of like, you know, when when you're in a low place, you continue to do low vibrational things like when you're not feeling good about yourself, sometimes it's easier to lash out on someone doesn't make it right.
Kindness in Parenting
00:24:29
Speaker
But it is easier. And so
00:24:32
Speaker
Yeah, this is just your reminder that easy isn't always best and it's always better to take the high road and to choose to be kind and to choose to be the one to be there for others and to not give in to
00:24:48
Speaker
what others are doing around you and not get it given to the hateful comments and the hateful rhetoric that we put around so many things that don't need that sort of negativity. Like I just feel like in this world, everything, everything has a dividing opinion. Everything has a quote unquote wrong or right when so much more of the world is gray area. And we really have to be open to that gray area. Like,
00:25:18
Speaker
We don't have to be quite so passionate about everything. If I like blue Gatorade and someone likes red Gatorade, that doesn't mean that they're inherently my enemy, like we just have different tastes. And I think those lines have kind of been skewed as to what constitutes being
00:25:39
Speaker
I don't, a different person and what constitutes, I guess a different opinion and what constitutes like a morally wrong opinion. I think we all kind of have been put on like a moral high ground of like, no, I'm right. Like I know what I'm, what I'm saying and like, I'm right. And like,
00:25:56
Speaker
Again, there's purple Gatorade. There's gray area. All right. I feel like I've talked enough and I also feel like I've again sounded kind of crazy and out of breath. I swear it's because there's a baby in me, a human that I'm growing and it makes it hard to talk. It makes everything hard. I've been so tired and I've had like the worst headache the past couple of days.
00:26:19
Speaker
But I felt the baby kick and that's craziness. That was the wildest moment of my life was to feel that baby kick.
00:26:31
Speaker
I don't know, it was like one of the most joyful moments I've ever experienced was that feeling. And I feel like that's the other reason is I'm feeling so drawn to talking about kindness is because I'm bringing a human into this world. I'm bringing a child and I just want that child to be in a kind world. And like, these are the things that I want to be instilling in my children is like, kindness matters. There's always, always time. There's always room for kindness.
00:26:59
Speaker
Don't let yourself forget it and be drowned out by the hate that's around us because I truly, truly think that there is more good. I just think the hate is being really loud right now. Okay. Stay high. Bye.