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girlies 4 president
3.5k Plays2 months ago
episode 11: p hosts this episode and has the gals run for president (assuming miss kamala isn’t available of course). they go over their policies and discuss some hard hitting topics including the economy and the nations man problem. they also discuss some listener submissions for a new segment.
plz go to @3waypod to vote for your new president and see below for a conclusive guide to the girls running points:
Emon
- cheaters are put in the highest tax bracket and cheated are resolved of taxes completely
- breakfast restaurants to serve at least 3 dinner items and breakfast to be served during dinner as well
- bloody mary’s are banned
- better school lunches
Kristen
- men have a toe surgically removed free of anesthesia everytime they wrong someone and after the 10th toe they face the death penalty
- fennel seeds are illegal and if u are caught with them you go to jail (life sentence)
- breakfast served all day everywhere
- whattaburger becomes a national chain
- honey butter chicken biscuits come with extra honey butter automatically without having to ask
- your taxes are allocated where u want them
- every girl gets 1 million dollars when they’re born
- must talk in business lingo
- men in sandals will be shot and killed
Payton
- men will be constantly surveillance
- men can only use social media to interact with us and our content (no posting)
- men have a 10pm curfew unless escorted by a woman
- men cannot have any kind of weapon
- men cannot make a final decision on anything
- every salad served will be chopped so that every ingredient can be enjoyed in one clean bite
- every restaurant must serve queso and sweet tea
- all work emails will be written in a normal conversational way (no more corporate jargon)
- open toe shoes and bare feet on an airplane will result in immediate jail time
- impressions will result in jail time
- tea time is back and mandatory (2-3pm everyday) (men can only join when invited)
- mandatory vision boarding
questions/comments/concerns/advice? talk to us here: https://forms.gle/G7vqT8xMWAM42Qsw9
check back every monday for a new episode :)
follow 3 way on instagram: @3waypod
follow 3 way on tiktok: @3waypod
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Transcript
Introduction and Setting the Mood
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey Chris. Hi Eames, what's up? I have to tell you something. Oh my god, okay. Should I three-way Peyton in? Yeah, call P. Okay. Hello? Hey, Eames needs to tell us something. I'm three-waying you in. Okay, immediately. Okay, so...
00:00:15
Speaker
Hello, everyone. Welcome back to Three Way. We are doing kind of a fun girly gal episode today. I'm hosting. Hi, I'm Peyton, and Iman and Kristin are also here. Doi, I'm in a silly, fun, goofy mood. When does this ever happen? I have been severely depressed for like a little bit, because like, you know, that just happens to
Peyton's Emotional Journey
00:00:36
Speaker
me. um Now I'm in like a manic mode. I was just giggling around the house today by myself.
00:00:43
Speaker
Yeah. Manic. But i I kind of love it. I mean, honestly, no complaints. um I'd rather feel like this than the alternative. No complaints. Anyway. You deserve those super high ups with those low lows. Yeah, you do. You do. And I'm just julia having my first sips of my sake for the evening. Cheers.
00:01:04
Speaker
Cheers. Cheers. I switched up my Seltzer game and bought a bottle of tequila. Oh, I'm fucking crazy. Aye, aye, aye, we're turning up. Aye, aye, aye, aye. Oh, my God. Actually, see we're not. I actually don't drink on the job. Oh, no, because we're very serious this episode.
00:01:25
Speaker
We're very serious and you should probably vote for me. They don't even know what we're talking about. I know not yet, but I just want to get in their heads early on.
00:01:35
Speaker
and Okay. Propaganda. holy yeah I don't want them to think I'm a heavy drinker. That's like subversive tactics, but, um, that's okay. People use those in campaigns anyway.
Presidential Campaign Humor
00:01:46
Speaker
Um, today we're going to get a little political and on the way you think we are going to each be campaigning for president today. Um, I know it's what you guys wanted to hear, um, and a time of dire need for our nation that we three are each stepping up, but um, to share with you our platforms.
00:02:05
Speaker
Um, we don't want anyone to get confused by the way, cause we discussed this. We were like, are they going to think we're not taking this election very seriously? Like the actual election happening. Um, I want to go on record. We're taking it very serious. I think that it's pretty obvious where I stand. Um, all the things I post on social media. I think I'm pretty, I voiced my, so my um opinions enough, but, uh, this is a very serious election. Oh my God.
00:02:33
Speaker
but literally just like brought like made me like my body just like convulsed a little bit. Your heart stops. Um, no. ah So we do want to say just upfront. We're trying to be funny. We're trying to be silly. We're trying to be goofy. Okay. We all know we're going out to vote. All right. We all know.
00:02:54
Speaker
um We're taking it seriously, but we're taking it as seriously as you can with someone like Mr. like mr McDonald in office. but
00:03:09
Speaker
We just think if not, okay, I shouldn't say we. I think if if he can do it, I think one of us can do it. No, literally. We can all do it. Like, I think and her sure all could do it. For sure. Yeah, baby. We could all do it. We can all do it better than all of us, Kamala. So we really need to keep that in mind when we're when we're going to cast our ballots this year. But today we're going to get silly goofy mood. We all know who we're actually voting for. If her and Tim, our our dad, our knight in shining armor, were not available to us, which one of us
00:03:46
Speaker
Would you choose instead of Donald Trump? That's what's happening here. And that's the choice you're going to make today. That's the real thing. Yeah. Okay. Um, unfortunately for everyone, I did two drops of CBD today. Oh my God. That is not presidential of you. how I'm just kidding. Oh.
00:04:07
Speaker
Oh, um, I didn't get the joke at first. You got really serious really quick. Um, wait, how does the CBD combat the, uh, Adderall? Cause I know you went back on this week. No, no, no. I just did it for that one day. Oh, okay. You guys, here's the thing. I just want to talk about it really quick. I'm.
00:04:25
Speaker
Have severe ADHD. It's really terrible. Like I genuinely think if I had never been on Adderall, I like wouldn't be able to keep a job and I'm off Adderall. I'm so much sillier. I eat more. I sleep more. I have a grand old time. Like I was just telling Kristen all of July, I did not drink.
00:04:44
Speaker
I did not get drunk. I did not have fun with my friends. I was like literally just tapped in because I take everything so serious already. The Adderall just made my like seriousness so much more serious and now I'm so much more silly.
Iman's Policy Proposals
00:04:55
Speaker
I'm having the best time in life. I am late to work. I am slacking a little bit. i just it's kind of like It's so much fun, but I do actually think I need to go back on.
00:05:09
Speaker
Anyway, okay, moving on. Just note that Iman is on drugs. Yeah. but but and yeah Multiple drugs. I think that's an upper and a downer. So just think about that when you're voting. Wait, I think you just took a shot too.
00:05:25
Speaker
Iman, how do you? You guys are going to be able to vote for us in some capacity. We're going to do it on the Instagram. We're going to do a poll in feed. We're going to do some campaigning in feed. You'll be able to vote for who you think will be the best president.
00:05:42
Speaker
ah yeah Yeah. So anyway, um, I would love for one of you guys to start, uh, today we're going to be discussing our platforms, um, policies that we're running on. I think a big one I'm really interested in, um, hearing from you too is covering the man problem.
00:06:04
Speaker
That's going to be a big one because there's some things and elections that they kind of really decide who you are, what your values are. And I think one of those things in real life is something like abortion, right? On three-way.
00:06:19
Speaker
We know how we we are ah where we all stand on that in real life. So I'm going to consider the man problem similar to ah that type of crux. It's a very important, it's important how you handle it. It'll swing your vote. okay It'll swing your vote. So that is something to please touch on as you're discussing your policy ah recommendations or your hopes for your policy in office.
00:06:42
Speaker
okay But otherwise, uh, let's go with, let's start with Iman. Iman, can you share us a little bit more about what you're running on? Okay. So hello America. Um, I do have something that kind of touches on the main problem. You caught me, uh, you know, in a week that I do have a crush, so I'm not necessarily like.
00:07:01
Speaker
super hating on men this week. um But I do have something on here that does touch on this, Peyton. So um one of my things is that if you get caught cheating on a spouse, you automatically have to pay the highest taxes possible that you have to pay ah for the rest of your life. So if you're married, you get caught cheating um automatically, you're paying the highest tax. policy It doesn't matter what state you live in. It doesn't matter anything.
00:07:27
Speaker
Um, and this, I think that this will solve, you know, some things, at least you're getting kind of like reparations, um, in some way, because the wife actually gets to pay no taxes. So the husband is paying all the taxes. I mean, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be sexist. The cheater in the situation is going to be paying more taxes. Um, me and a select few other women will be exempt. All of the women will be exempt, but we can't have a boys.
00:07:53
Speaker
hope Um, and I think that this will really, really help actually the economy and the country, and it will help women and kind of, you know, uh, even out the wage gap. Thank you. I'd actually like to follow up something and disagree completely with that tactic because, um, in that, in that way, you would be punishing not only the cheater,
Kristin's Legislative Ideas
00:08:22
Speaker
but the cheated. Am I right?
00:08:24
Speaker
um most I don't know what you mean by that. Can I clarify? um Most people combine their finances. So I would say, you know, I would think of something that doesn't really hurt. But assuming that you're reporting your husband for cheating, you're probably divorcing them, in which case he will have yeah all your taxes evaporated and you will have none. So what's your response to that?
00:08:50
Speaker
um because I'm still going going to be allocated a percent of his money and I could continue to be and I think it'll only help me if he continues to be richer. So I actually have a policy that I um would like to talk about and it's going to be every single time a man wrongs a woman in any way, small or large, he loses one toe.
00:09:18
Speaker
and Eventually, after 10 toes, they are dead. so i think after like yeah so The only issue that I have with um you debating me on that is that in this scenario, you get nothing um except for the man's losing his toes, which is okay. In my scenario, you're paying absolutely no taxes and he's actually taking on your taxes and it does help the economy.
00:09:48
Speaker
So can you explain to me why your um thing is better for the American people? um Yes, but at the same time, you know, I want what's best for
Peyton's Comedic Policies
00:09:59
Speaker
the country. So I'm going to suggest maybe a little change for you because if you were to win, I want my people to still be benefiting because my people are my people no matter what. um love You want me you to absorb your policy?
00:10:16
Speaker
I'm okay with that. You want me to- No, no, no. I'm not. I don't want you to absorb my policy. I'm going to tell you how your policy could be better. And I think that those taxes should be paid directly to the cheetah. So they can just, they can have some compensation and we don't have to get the government involved and all the taxes and everything. I think maybe we just, you know, we take the percent and just give it directly to the cheat head. I'd love to even come up with a system to track that if I don't make it in this election. Well, that would be the government getting involved. The system would be the government tracking it, or else you're going to hire a private company to do so, which is not a game. Right, and that's what I want to talk about. I want the government to be corrupt.
00:11:08
Speaker
Okay, so so I think that we've talked about this um enough. I think that we have both of our sides. I think we can move on. So, okay. um So my very next one is that, okay, sorry, you got here. You got a little nervous. Oh my God. I almost spit out my drink. Okay, I'm sorry. Okay.
00:11:30
Speaker
Not very- Presidential, but okay. Not very presidential. That's okay. so Actually, all breakfast restaurants will be forced to serve at least three dinner items on the menu ah for the fellow Americans who are not following the mind control of the breakfast agenda. um it so For one, it does not hurt restaurants. You already have the ingredients. You had the ingredients the whole time. You chose not to give it to me.
00:11:55
Speaker
Um, and also dinner items are a higher price point. So you can actually make more money by doing this. Um, and because I'm not selfish and I relate to all people pushing the needle, I will also require that every restaurant needs to put three breakfast items on the dinner menu because I'm not anti breakfast. I'm anti mind control.
00:12:19
Speaker
I'm anti the breakfast agenda and I actually respect people also who want it for dinner. Um, again, you already have all the stuff. You thought time you have all the ingredients for this. So I would like, um, you guys to stop deciding what we get to eat and let freedom ring. and Okay. We cannot let big breakfast win.
00:12:44
Speaker
If you throw in all day breakfast at all of my favorite chains like water burger. You are not the American people. You are another presidential. You have to do your own thing. I'm just saying you would get my vote. Okay. Yeah, I could do that. Okay, cool.
00:13:05
Speaker
Okay, the next one. I think this one is a little bit more controversial, but i um I want to stand strong in my beliefs. Bloody Mary's are banned. They're disgusting. Tomato juice is disgusting. Mixed with vodka is disgusting. They bring it out with a cheeseburger on top. You're weird.
00:13:24
Speaker
Everyone's the bacon, the chicken wings on the side. It's weird. Get something to eat. It is bizarre. Tomato juice as an alcoholic drink and you're trying to mix two things. So you're mixing, okay, I'm drinking with also I'm eating lunch. I think it's weird. I think we need to put an end to it right now. I would throw up.
00:13:44
Speaker
If I had a Bloody Mary in front of me and I even took a whiff of it, I understand that some of you guys listening, this might like be the end of you voting for me and I'm okay with that. Bloody Marys, they will never see light of day again. You have to stand for something or yeah or you'll fall for anything. Exactly. And that's what I stand for. No Bloody Marys, absolutely anywhere.
00:14:03
Speaker
um
00:14:06
Speaker
I might even stop tomato juice as a whole, but that'll be later. Okay. Um, and then for my last one, better school lunches. Um, I think a lot of other countries do this much better than us. Uh, I had an old coworker who was from France and she showed me her lunches that she got in high school and they looked delicious. And then I showed her mine. Sometimes they would serve us a pizza and the plastic would actually be melted into the cheese. Oh, I know that one.
00:14:34
Speaker
Yeah, so it's things like that and I just think the school lunches are. And they wonder why we get cancer. No, she's a cigarette. She has tequila in the same hand as a cigarette and she goes, they wonder why we get cancer. And she's doing the Billy Ray Cyrus voice.
00:14:56
Speaker
no No one's wondering. but No one's wondering.
00:15:05
Speaker
one right Better school lunches. And how about you girls? All right, Kristen, you're up. And how about you girls? OK. New law and effect immediately.
00:15:22
Speaker
Fennel seeds are illegal. And if you get caught with illegal fennel seeds, you ever gotten one in an everything bagel? It'll ruin your fucking life.
00:15:37
Speaker
Ever ever gotten one unexpectedly in a chicken parm? A $50 chicken parm that you want to send back, but you can't because you say you can't say, oh, I hate fennel seeds that bad. They are disgusting. OK. And um they're banned. Not only are they banned, but if you get caught with them, it's a life sentence with no parole and no contact with Kim Kardashian.
00:16:05
Speaker
Oh. Well, I'm actually anti-prison, so it won't happen to me yet. Yeah. Okay, so after that's banned, breakfast all day, everywhere, anytime you want. Ew. Ew. First of all, ew. And also, water burger goes worldwide. It's a national chain. Every honey butter chicken biscuit has extra honey butter you don't even have to ask.
00:16:31
Speaker
I hate this. In every school across America. Yeah, exactly. at Every school across America. You guys are making a mockery of the judicial system, by the way. For taxes, you kind of get to choose where you want to put your money, what you care about, what you want to see change. It's almost as if your dollars vote. I like that. I actually like that. Yeah. No, I i genuinely think I'm a genius.
00:17:00
Speaker
um yeah So how are you going to enforce that? So I'm going to write the law and tell people. Which categories are they going to go to? yeah but so It's going to go to, honestly, every category you could think of, whether it be roads, um you know. road You can make up your own categories. Road sponsor. You put everything in a little envelope and you mark it exactly where you want to be sent.
Listener Interaction Segment
00:17:29
Speaker
And then you say like, this is going to road.
00:17:32
Speaker
Yeah. willy bieber Well, we're going to have like 16 little mailboxes set up and 16. That's 16 mailboxes. Where there's going to be 16 categories with 16 mailboxes and you put your dollars and checks into the categorized ones. So some will be, some will be um animal rescue, some will be roads, some will be beach cleanups.
00:17:59
Speaker
Okay. So what are you going to do when people don't want to give to the unsexy ones like roads or like when we have kind of certain like structural items that we need and people are going to overlook. They'll learn their lessons. They'll learn their lessons. They have to live with their mistakes. But your tires are popping. That means I have to live with the lessons of the uneducated because they don't know what we're all going to be missing if they refuse to give. I don't think that means they're uneducated. I think that just means people care about things.
00:18:28
Speaker
They're different. I mean, I'm not uneducated. I would say, well, ignorant. If they don't understand that certain things are important. If they don't understand certain things are important, and now we're going out without specific rights. That means you're going to put even more money towards that than you normally would because you're scared other people won't. You know, that's that's just how we vote. It's a direct correlation. And, you know, you snooze, you fucking lose. And if you don't like it, you move to a different state. And actually, you don't because I'm president of the United States country. You move to a different country and you fuck right off. OK, fuck right off. Yeah. All right. What's next, Chrissy? Oh, everyone gets a little.
00:19:19
Speaker
and then they have to earn some ah wait no i don't think
Social Media and Influencer Culture
00:19:34
Speaker
yeah
00:19:37
Speaker
No, I didn't think this. My my thing is, but can I offer you a suggestion as you've been suggesting to Iman? I would love that because I didn't think about the logistics of the having to control people. Right. She's very confusing. Oh, oh, oh. I have a solution. No, you have to we have to make men shoot blanks until they're able to be fathers.
00:20:03
Speaker
Okay, well that being problematic though, will people turn against us and say, you can't control men? Oh, we can control men all day. I'm controlling men all day. So I don't know what you're running on. All day. The new year. All day. Okay. Suggesting more control over men. Who do you think is the Schmidt of the group? Probably me. Why would you say I think I'm both Schmidt and do you think I'm Jesse? Jessica?
00:20:32
Speaker
death No. Why am I like Winston? It's Winston. Yeah. ah thousand seven im yeah but With like also 20% CC. You are not Schmidt. Oh, so you think you're fucking gorgeous. You think you're a super model and funny. Cut it. Cut that.
00:20:54
Speaker
like cut You think you're the funniest person on the show and a supermodel. you're imit I think I'm just because I think I'm a little quirky. No, you're Nick.
00:21:07
Speaker
oh and No, I feel like I'm definitely giving Winston with maybe a touch of Nick when he's like being extra weird. Yeah. Yeah. You are a little bit of a touch of Nick because whenever he gets in his feelings, he's like in his feelings, you know, and he's like down to talk and open up. Oh yeah. It's so cute. Yeah. So anyway, okay. Are you done with your policy, Kristin or? um Yes.
00:21:32
Speaker
No, I just like, I wanted to come to this election as me fully and I didn't really want to like prepare and, you know, cool. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah. Yeah, every girl gets a million dollars when they're born.
Kristin's Dating Chronicles
00:21:55
Speaker
And where's this coming from? Sorry? Where's the funding coming from? Are we printing more money?
00:22:02
Speaker
ah Yeah, probably. I'd say most likely I haven't run the numbers. yeah you i know million dollars I know that we'll do what we got to do. um But yeah, I would just say that's to just, you know, pay for all of the wrong doings and everything. It's reparations, if you will.
00:22:29
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Thank you, Peyton. You have a great vocabulary. I would love to hire you to write my speeches, maybe. Kristen, are you drunk a little bit? Yeah. ah sure yeah I I also feel extra drunk because I'm wearing these sunglasses and I cannot see. And when my sight goes, it's just like, No, y'all. I, when we were like prepping, like going to start the, the recording, Kristen was like, can anyone tell me if I'm like in the middle of the screen because I can't see. And I love that about you, Kristen. You're trusting us. I'm going to be honest. I'm already like pretty drunk as well. Oh my gosh. Yeah. All right. Can I start my platform? Oh wait, I want to talk about something slightly unrelated. yeah Okay. Okay.
00:23:14
Speaker
shoot so a couple days ago I bled all over my new crush's bed it was everywhere it was a crime scene I bled absolutely everywhere I thought my period was over it wasn't and I it was bloody and disgusting I was personally embarrassed I texted my I actually left I was like uh I don't know I can't look at this anyway you didn't like throw them in the wash no no I had to go so um because I was so embarrassed so I texted my friend Austin and she said In order to break a guy in, you have to either pee the bed or you have to bleed everywhere.
Conclusion and Call to Vote
00:23:48
Speaker
And that's like how you know, like it's kind of going in the right direction. Like it's going somewhere real or barf or barf. Exactly. So I also wanted to make a message to America that if, if you've bled in a bed recently, if you've peed in a bed recently, if you've thrown up in a bed recently.
00:24:05
Speaker
You've done nothing wrong. You're actually trying to start something real. And the universe knew that. Your body knew that. Everyone knew that. And everything came together in order to help you make something stronger. And we see you and we respect you. We see you and we respect you. And if you've done that, like it's so OK. And it's actually better for your situation. The environment. It's better for the environment. It's celebrating women. It's celebrating women. I just want to tell everyone that.
00:24:34
Speaker
I also have another one I forgot about everyone has to talk in like podcast lingo or like business lingo if you're about to show your friend a YouTube video, you have to say, Okay, let me tee this up really quick. Kristen's been doing that in this chair who's laughing at herself. We were at the beach the other day, and I asked her to do to show me something. All right, let me tee this up real quick. It's like dad podcast lingo a little bit. And she laughed.
00:25:03
Speaker
so hard at herself. oh Girls, if you cannot be your own best friend, what are you doing? And she also made fun of me that day if we want to talk about who this candidate is. I was eating my applesauce, so I like the ah the packets of applesauce. I forget what they're called, the like squeezable packets. You guys know the ones for babies.
00:25:25
Speaker
So that's what I eat every morning because I love applesauce. I brought my applesauce out to eat my squeezable applesauce and Kristen just is looking at me with disgust and I said, and it was all and it was like, I was like, do you not like applesauce? And she said, no, because I'm not a baby.
00:25:44
Speaker
And yeah, yeah and then I said, i agree i guess well, okay, Kristen, she's like, yeah, I just like solid foods, like an adult. And if you want to know who you're voting for, it's someone who does not, again, the mind control. Certain foods are made for babies, certain foods are made for adults, mind control. But she's easily controlled and I'm not, I'm strong minded.
00:26:13
Speaker
So that's why Peyton's next. I think it's like, cause I have more of like a pack mentality. I don't think it's mind control. I think just everyone can agree with me automatically, no matter what. That doesn't sound like mind control. That doesn't sound like mind control at all.
00:26:34
Speaker
Have your every you ever seen like an episode of family feud where like, you know, the the one family has like 10 points and the other one has like 400. So you like have to do nothing to beat them. Um, literally whatever Peyton says, she gets like far into the mic. I think I used to get on. I like some of y'all's policies, um, the fact checking and maybe like the way it'll work out in real life. I'm not sure. Um, but I couldn't say that's not what we're for. We're here for the big idea. I couldn't say anything different ah about my own policies to be quite honest. So I'm going to start hot, like really, we're really in the thick of it with the man problem. Okay.
00:27:11
Speaker
So in my opinion, not not really my opinion based on data and stat statistics, men are a problem. They're violent. They're stressful. I'm a different person because of them. I used to be like a really romantic lovey girl and now I'm a fucking monster. Well, they can be fun. And I get that. Here's the thing. They're just like a fun little, we love them, but we don't give them much responsibility and and the Peyton, uh, presidency. You know what I mean? We can't give them things to fuck up because they will fuck them up and they're really just here for a fun time. So the man problem, how we're going to cover this men are under constant surveillance.
00:27:52
Speaker
whether it's going to be actual surveillance, like the CCTV of it all, or just on their phones, which is probably already happening, or we just threatened them with constant surveillance. So when they don't know which one's being surveilled. They always just think they're being surveilled, constant surveillance, because we got to know what they're doing. gotta go They're saying we're going to sort their texts into certain bins. There's certain keywords here that we have to really be paying attention to.
00:28:15
Speaker
Okay. They're not allowed to have social media. and Men are not allowed to have social media under a Peyton presidency. I could not agree more. Why? I think that should go into effect immediately. Honestly, it's weird when men have social media. They don't need to be having it. It's not good when they post anyway, so I don't really understand why they need it. um Or maybe they have view only so they can see how cute and fun we are, but they don't. yeah and They can still like our Instagram stories.
00:28:41
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Well, we also choose the men that view us. So let's say that maybe they try to follow us. We say, no, you can't view all of them. You can't view me. um Okay. So moving on to some more important topics ah in the men issue, men are, they all have a 10 PM curfew unless you're being escorted by a woman. This could be a friend. This could be a family member. This could be a romantic a partner or I want to be a romantic partner. You have to be allowed out of the home after 10 p.m. By or their mom who is or their mom, a family member. Yes, that that would fall under your family member men more seriously are not allowed to have any type of weapon at all. Knives for cooking are fine. Guns, no guns.
00:29:30
Speaker
No gun is going to be sold to a man because we know what happens when men have guns. It's a problem. So women are only allowed to have guns from now on because we can make better decisions. Moving on. Men finally are not allowed to have any position requiring a final decision or of like a final discernment, but they may advise as an expert and they can serve as counsel to a woman making a final decision. Men can give us facts. They can give us figures. They cannot make complex decisions. Um, as noted by a recent study that that shows that women have more gray area in their brains for complex matters. Um, and they also have more what's in your brain, brain, brain cells, brain cells.
00:30:19
Speaker
in that, in that gray area or gray matter of their brain. All right. Moving on to my very important policy outside of men. Every salad served will be a chopped salad. No, what's bacon? No more big. Nope. There's not to be chopped with a specific ingredients. It just means every ingredient and the salad will be edible in one bite. No more lettuce touching yeah your face on either side of your mouth with the dressing on it.
00:30:45
Speaker
That's just embarrassing. And it's also super stupid and you should be able to eat the salad with a big spoon. That should be the chopping. Okay. Um, all right. Another thing involving food. There will be a nationalized food available at all times at all restaurants. And if you do not serve this food, you are not allowed to be a restaurant let me guess who thats potatoes.
00:31:07
Speaker
I deleted mashed potatoes because I realized maybe not everyone would be on the same vibe as me, but queso for sure. Everyone has to have Tex-Mex queso. I hate queso. We need to have a white queso and we need to have a yellow queso. Well, you have to order it, okay? But it's available for you. I don't like it. Sweet tea is also available and it will be tested and tasted to my liking.
00:31:28
Speaker
um So are there going to be any healthier menu ah items on this menu or are we just going strictly queso and ice? Is there something else? like that We're going sweet tea. We're going queso. Those are the ones that are you have to have at all times. So how do you plan to combat the obesity in America?
00:31:49
Speaker
Here's the thing, your body, your choice, you know what I mean? So I'm just giving you some options that are really good that are going to make you happy throughout the day. Moving on. All work emails will be written in a normal conversational way.
00:32:05
Speaker
We're not doing corporate jargon anymore. We're doing girly girl. We're not aiming for punctuation or exclamations. We're doing emojis and I'm not, I don't want to hear any more corporate jargon. It's never happening. It's a waste of time. Okay. Uh, next, I only have a few more here. Open toed shoes and bare feet on an airplane will result in immediate jailing. If I see a toe on an airplane, if anyone sees a toe on an airplane, go into jail.
00:32:34
Speaker
going to jail Furthermore, I would like to add um to my campaign that men and sandals will be shot and killed immediately. What if they want to flip flop to the beach? I don't want to see her. Can they go to the beach? No, they should wearing like Birkenstocks or something. It's a sandal.
00:32:58
Speaker
Do you want to talk to that cover the toes? Yes, I don't want to see a fucking man's toe in a shoe and I say that with my whole chest. No, and I've never even said I say that with my whole chest until now because I've never said feeling with my chest. You don't want to see a fungus toe big toe. I Put your Birkenstock on. Why do all guides have a fungus toe? I don't know. I don't know. like Everyone's dad had a fungus toe. Are you serious? They all did. Not that I thought I needed pedicures.
00:33:36
Speaker
oh Every woman is coming in contact with the fungus toe. I know every single girl knows what we're talking about. You don't even think about it anymore. You're like, oh yeah, that's just like a guy's toe with the fungus toe. Okay, so I'm going to finish out my thing here and then we can, you know, finish out the election process. Okay. Any type of impression of any kind, doing an impression of someone else will result in immediate jailing.
00:34:04
Speaker
I hate impressions. I hate when people try to do impressions. They make me so uncomfortable.
00:34:12
Speaker
I can't imagine anything worse besides the dance circle. Can you give us an example of like your least favorite and impression, like something that you hate? Are you asking her to do it? impression. You know, no of like a time that happened to her where she was like, this is the last time you know, what I see it I see it on tik tok a lot where people are like, I like they're good at impressions. And they'll do like, Jim Carrey, they'll do Donald Trump. they'll do black obama and like Stop. I've never once been like,
00:34:38
Speaker
Haha, that's hilarious. I'm embarrassed for every impression I've ever liked. No, I am too. It's so bad. It's bad. like You're obviously so right, I am wrong. No, they're so embarrassing. They're so embarrassing. It's so bad. They're so embarrassing. I can't deal with them. Another thing I really have a hatred against and personal vendetta against that is at the top of my things I hate list, dance circles. I know I've discussed this before.
00:35:04
Speaker
No one's going to a circle. I know this about when the last time you were in a dance circle. First of all, because I hate dance circles, people oftentimes try to put one around me, which is uncomfortable. um And I feel like this happens at school dances.
00:35:22
Speaker
you know i mean so be in yeah When did you go to a school dance? Why are you talking? I feel like in my day to day life as a child, there's school dances and you're like, you know, it's one thing I hate about people, dance circles. Like I don't even want to go to a dance because there's dance circles there.
00:35:43
Speaker
They're not hitting like you think they are. You know what I mean? Just because you saw it and step up, does it mean it's hitting the same? Everyone imagined Peyton and the middle of a dancer were hitting the hardest dance you can imagine, and try your hardest not to laugh. I bet you you can't.
00:35:55
Speaker
Like imagine her just like going hard in the middle of a dance circle. Here's it here's to be honest or to be very fair to myself. I'm picturing anyone even a good person dancing in a dance circle makes I mean, the the break dancing at the Olympics was I can't talk I can't talk about it. I physically am unable to talk about it that it's out. It's out. By the way, for the next I haven't looked into this, but I don't even know how the fuck they would begin to judge that at the Olympics.
00:36:23
Speaker
like I looked into it because it was bothering me so much and I don't know how you qualify, but I do know part a big part of the score is they allow you to go for a certain amount of time and you cannot repeat a move and it has to be made up on the spot. Oh, shit. Okay, that's like that's actually really hard. that's why it that it That's why it looked so bad because they were like doing new stuff.
00:36:45
Speaker
It didn't look bad. It just looked goofy because there's no hot way to breakdance. No one's ever breakdanced and been hot. You know what I think it actually is. I think that that style of dancing is phased out because when I was watching you got served back in my heyday, I was like, they look good. But I think hitting something so hot, like a dance move that's just like really hard is just like inherently embarrassing now because trying hard is just embarrassing. And I agree with the way with the times. But I think just like that style is phased out.
00:37:14
Speaker
Moving on, tea time, we're bringing it back. I'm so sorry, we did win the war against Great Britain and I'm all for the Boston Tea Party, let me tell you. I think it was a great symbol, but I do love tea time, especially if it involves champagne. Tea time will take place every single day from two to three PM. All women are, it's a mandatory tea time. I'm so sorry. Oh, I love that.
00:37:37
Speaker
And let's have a problem with it yourself. Our doctor's note men are invited by women. So you can come to see time if you would like um if a woman deems you eligible. I stand behind that intensely because did you see the love shack fancy owners like video going around of her the tour of her crazy apartment in New York or yeah, her rhonstone.
00:37:59
Speaker
Yeah. Holy shit. Coolest thing I've ever seen ever in my life. I've never been more in awe. And I can't even imagine what it would be like in real life. But um at the towards the end, whenever ah he was like, Oh, so your daughters have tea here every morning. And she's like, Yep, every day. I was like, like,
00:38:20
Speaker
And that's Love Shack fancy. That was the most jealous I was of everything in the episode. I was like, that is so fucking chic. I can get behind that tee time. I think 2 to 3 PM would be a great time for us, given that yeah let's do an early lunch maybe in the workday, like an 11 a.m. lunch. Then you have a you you work for a little bit and then you promise that tee time, which is also very important for us ladies, because I think the tee time for men, they try to pass it off as a work event because they're doing like the boy stuff.
00:38:49
Speaker
That's our tea time. This is our tea time. We need to recalibrate. That's the time that we get sleepy in the day anyway. That's when we take meetings. We're productive. That's when we have the good old girls club. You know what I mean? That's our tea time. Lastly, mandatory vision boarding. Everyone has to turn in their vision boards with their taxes quarterly.
00:39:11
Speaker
All right. You are i are going to be, you're going to be on Pinterest. Everyone's going to be on Pinterest. Everyone's going to be visualizing their future. They're going to be turning it in with their taxes. ever Let me know how you feel.
00:39:29
Speaker
No, it could be your aesthetic plans, yeah your aesthetic plans as well. I just want to make sure everyone has some hope in their future. Everyone has like a visual aid for what they're going for. Uh, we will be extending this to schools. So in every six weeks, you will have your vision board for that six weeks. And I think it will help but the people of the future, if you will, people um to really be able to visualize their, um, their futures and that in a way that makes sense to them. And I'm a visual person, so we're doing vision boards in the end. That's the rest of my policy.
00:39:59
Speaker
That was good. I agreed with most of them. I'm just not a fan of vision boards. I don't actually know why. I've just kind of always been against them. um I literally don't know why I don't have a reason. I kind of used to think that two Eames, but then one year I like but made a little background on my computer just to remind me of certain things. I saw it actually, and it's really cute. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it like in the moment, but I was like, this is cute. I know. It's so cute. There's like cute manifestations my naturopath gave me that apparently I gave myself through my spit. I'm not positive how that one works.
00:40:36
Speaker
It's like quantum physics. and I love quantum physics. um You girls know. um So yeah, it's like super deep. And then like Iman saw it, which it's not like I'm hiding it, but I was like, oh yeah. Hey. Okay, wait. Do we want to do a little, um well, one, go vote for whoever you think should be president. You have by the end of the week to vote on our Instagram.
00:41:01
Speaker
Yeah, so if this comes out on a Monday, so you have till Friday to vote. It will announce when on Saturday, but also think about which person you're voting for that has the most ideas to boost the economy. And also think about like who's like the chillest and like easy going.
00:41:20
Speaker
can i make that the easierasiest um Oh wait, also you guys, so I do have like two submissions of people who like ask stuff, uh, sent no stories from their lives. Well, here's what I was thinking as the host of this episode. We really got into the nitty gritty because we had to discuss the important things. We didn't even do like a little mini life update or anything extra and really girl fun. So maybe we do that now. So let's read them ah while she's pulling them up. um We have been kind of brainstorming season two and what segments meet we might want to try and everything. So this is a potential segment and we have some submissions. Um, but I'd say we'll call it, you know, like voice note or something like kitschy that like goes with three way.
00:42:08
Speaker
And basically, we want you to just kind of send in any like funny stories that you might have or like anything. I feel like we get a lot of DMS of just like follow ups after episodes that people have their little like, you know, story or something funny happened. So we want you to either send in voice notes or messages or whatever. And we want that to be a little segment on the pod so we can involve you guys a little more.
00:42:35
Speaker
Yes. And Eames is pouring another shot. Good for you, baby girl. Thank you. Kristen, should we just like go all the way tonight? Yeah, honestly. Are y'all going to do something fun? We're going to the Henry.
00:42:50
Speaker
We, everyone here who's listening knows what that means to me. We don't even have to elaborate. Yeah. There's two places in LA, according to our out of town followers and it yeah and henry i've never talked about anywhere else. We don't, when is the last time we went somewhere else besides this? I really can't remember. I don't know. I go a lot of places, but not, you know, yeah, no, no, no. Um, okay. So here's the first one.
00:43:20
Speaker
Sorry. Okay. It's because I'm getting nervous. like I have to read for the whole class and like, so my boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I'm 31 and he's 35. He's honestly my first serious relationship. I'm super picky and I just don't really like most men in general. Ha ha. Anyways, he's literally the most amazing man and so kind. However, sometimes he just gives me that. He's super tall and skinny and dorky. And there are some times when his hair is flat and I just don't track it to him.
00:43:48
Speaker
Most of the time I'm super attracted to him though. And it's just mostly when he's dressed like a dad or just not done up. He's not a dad, just dressed like one. How do I get through the times of not being attracted to him? P.S. I love y'all. So we love you too. I do have an initial thong. Lila. Lila. I think like I personally would lean into the times that you love what he looks like and give him so much validation in those times like let's say he looks great his hair is looking how he wants he's wearing an outfit that you love like oh my god you look so hot being super touchy being super into it like oh my god i don't know why i can't just like stop touching you today he just looks at like the the validation of how he looks
00:44:27
Speaker
really hone in on those times. Like, Oh my God, can you do your hair like this literally every day? I would be ah obsessed with you. So we're giving validation in the moments where you love what he looks like. And when he doesn't look that way, we're peeling it back a little bit to, so that there's a bigger contrast for him. Like, okay, this equals I'm getting head tonight. Flat hair equals we're not going out with her. You should go out with her friends. So I would say lean into the moments where you and also use birthdays and Christmases as an opportunity to you know, further, okay, I got you this shirt. I feel like you look really hot in this. I love when you, so I would just say like, obviously you can't like be like, I'm not attracted to you right now. I mean, you can, but like, that'd be kind of mean. and I would just say lean into when you're really attracted to him and give him extra validation and then pull it back when you're not loving it and be like, Oh, can you wear like that shirt that I like for, to ah let's do this. Can you, so I would just say do something like that.
00:45:20
Speaker
Yeah. No notes. No notes. Exactly that. I fully agree with that. And I would say, in addition, make- Sorry. Every time I look at you, I'm sorry.
00:45:32
Speaker
i maybe
00:45:36
Speaker
I would say in addition, the times that I have found myself doing that I have found myself like I've i done exactly what Iman has said. And then I have also been like, okay, you need to know when like you're icking him out. And like when he gives you compliments, not to like completely change and you know, only like make him happy. But you you learn to like take more cues too when you like think of it on that on that way. So like if you're bringing your A game. Oh, so you're speaking for the man in this. Everyone take this note when you are voting.
00:46:16
Speaker
No, no, completely misunderstood me. I'm thinking of how I can change things in the scenario as well. And how I you're coming from two directions it's the lighter, and not so personal, but also take a social cue, you know, I think as Kristen junk translator, what she's trying to say is that as much as you have criticism of him also think about like,
00:46:40
Speaker
Okay, maybe I could like look like one night a week, like try to go to sleep and like be like wear a cute outfit, or maybe I could do this or that. If you're already doing all those things, he's still looking you out, disregard it. But like, I think she's also saying like, he's taking you out sometimes. How can you like, um comments in a pin I don't support this conversation. Okay.
00:47:03
Speaker
I'm trying to I'm trying to I i get what I see what she's getting at. You're trying to be more well rounded about the whole entire situation. Yeah, I'm just trying to change things I can change. Yeah, I think men are typically pretty easily coachable. So I just think like positive validation in the moments that I love positive. It's really good. And it's like a very gentle way to be like.
00:47:28
Speaker
I love this and like you will slowly see, um, their behavior change as long as like your men just like love to feel like validated. So if you're just like all over him in the moments where you think he's hot, I feel like he'll do that more often. Okay. Yeah. It's actually pretty easy. They're pretty easy to take advantage of. Yeah. Yeah.
00:47:48
Speaker
Yeah. and that I guess manipulate, not take advantage of. I mean, I just think they're like easily coachable. Like I just kind of feel like every man is like starts off as who they are. And then once they start dating me, it's like.
00:48:00
Speaker
I'm gaining something, but also you're gaining something. So like if we were to break up, same you would be a better person. That's why when me and Joe, when we broke up, I was like, no fucking way. They don't get, no one gets, I may do. Yes, literally. Yes. Like got one time.
00:48:20
Speaker
I had a boyfriend and like he had like breakout sometimes times and I was like, Oh, I can fix this. So I put him on a skincare routine and he has had the most perfect. He thinks me till this day. Like when I see him till this day, he'll be like, yeah, you kind of hated this nighttime route. Like you can like do stuff. So like, don't think of this as like, um, Oh, I'm changing him. Think about like, he will be better off if you guys end up not together, which like, you don't want to think about that, but like, okay don't think about, that don't think about me and think about it as like in the very worst case, he will be better off because he's doing these things. well We're helping our sisters. If we're bettering men, we're bettering their future relationships. Exactly. You're helping the next girl. All the trained men, I love your exes. I love them. and You could not make me hate your ex if you are a well-trained man. you could You can't make me hate her. I love her. Y'all have boyfriends right now, by the way.
00:49:14
Speaker
ah No, I don't. that's hey I hope that I do have a boyfriend. I'm dying to not be single, you guys, seriously. I love being um single and like doing the whole thing, but like I'm dying to not be single. I'm going to switch up. I literally am going to switch. I'm like, oh, you guys, like my boyfriend. like I'm going to be a new boyfriend. I can't wait to be annoying about it. I mean, yeah, whenever I flip the switch, I'm annoying as fuck, but I am so apprehensive until that flip is switched.
00:49:41
Speaker
No, but I'm going on another first date on um Saturday, another Saturday first date. So you didn't like the 40 year old enough to like make you be like really involved? No, Peyton. Well, I don't know if you like him a lot or if you like, just like. No, don no you no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh my God. No, I would. So i't I'm not getting any like updates. We're supposed to be getting updated on this podcast and I have no context. I don't know what to tell you. Like I, I updated you guys last time. I'm fucked up. I have to keep.
00:50:11
Speaker
things slow so I don't get icked out and freaked out. I didn't even want to hang out with him a second time. Then I did. It was actually a good time. And we okay like I'm into them and I just like wants to take it slow and in like intentional way. But this guy um that I'm meeting up with on Saturday, we've been texting for a long time and just like haven't ever met up like I stopped texting him back. And then you meet him.
00:50:42
Speaker
Uh, Raya, I think. And I texted him to meet up that night with Eames. And then he was like, no, let's do another date. And then we were supposed to go on a date, got COVID. And he made me, l o like he's already making me laugh and text, which is good. And he looks like tall and hot. Um, but he, he goes, Hey, I got this viral infection. I don't think it should be a big, ah big deal, but like, like, I don't think it's just red or anything, but I can't hang out for a minute.
00:51:13
Speaker
Of course, I was like fucking lol. That doesn't sound like a big deal. re vi insight Okay, the thing is, you guys, this is my issue. I don't think I've been able to find someone that is like, funny, hot, and driven.
00:51:35
Speaker
Um, yeah yeah that i mean yeah, I also feel like Kristen, you don't really mean to have this type, but maybe it's just because you come from a certain background, but you always like funny, hot driven and rich.
00:51:48
Speaker
Okay, well, I didn't, i what I was trying not to even say they have to be rich because they really don't. You guys know me. one of you never dated When have you dated someone, ah genuinely dated someone who was not wealthy? You talked about baby carrots. You called Boyfriend owned an oil rig. Last Venice boy after X. Okay.
00:52:11
Speaker
He fucks around in a van, half of the- Did you date him? That wasn't a serious relationship. Honestly, I'm not knocking you. No, that's fine. If you do that, that's totally fine. But just say, not even rich, wealthy. You are comfortable with wealth. I am frugal. You are frugal. I'm going to pee, sorry. Oh my god.
00:52:40
Speaker
Oh fuck, I should have been warming up my Philly cheesesteak this whole time. I am fucking dying. What? That new guy? Yeah. He keeps being like, should I still be playing it cool? Or like, are we good now? And I'm like, almost, you're almost good. And then I like just won't text him backwards. He was like, what if you get one question a day that I have to answer completely honest?
00:53:04
Speaker
I said, do ah you get one too? And he said, your call. And I said, yes, we each get one you first. Cause I was going to like feel out how serious he was being. What'd he say? He said, he said, what's an ich that's a deal breaker. And I said, so many, the limit does not exist immediately after I sent only if I don't like you. Otherwise I'd let a lot of ich slide. Um, you know, cause they're subjective.
00:53:29
Speaker
And he said, okay, what's one that may or may not be a deal breaker? And I said, I read that as that may or may not be a deal breaker at first. And I was like, okay, that's fair. That was an annoying answer. And I said, biggest red flag that comes to mind is someone controlling and thinks that they're the boss of me and doesn't let me do my thing free of judgment.
00:53:50
Speaker
I feel like I've dated people in the past that love that I'm outgoing and social and weird. And then once things get more serious, they want to water me down kind of. He said.
00:54:03
Speaker
He said shit. I was going to say an Apple watch.
00:54:15
Speaker
He out-christened you. we We have to respect it. He goes, I'll be serious from now on. I'm like, oh my god, no. He out-christened you. I don't know why I like got so serious for a second. I liked it. It should be funny. Yeah, I mean, it wasn't a lie. I didn't fucking lie. And I didn't fucking stutter. but And I didn't Ruben stutter.
00:54:42
Speaker
um That was good. did That was good. Honestly, I think what this country really needs is like a good season of American Idol. Anyways. Honestly, it's like a president with a sense of humor and like a lot of life experience. Okay.
00:54:58
Speaker
okay Um, so redirecting, we're going to go into this next question now. Oh, hi girls. She gets us. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the trajectory of social media. I have a theory that in the same way that we want it to be different from our parents, not doing the nine to five bullshit generations after us won't want to be influencers or have a big social media presence. I could totally see younger generations thinking being on, uh, being an influencer is chuggy.
00:55:25
Speaker
and want to be an outlier and go against the grain. I also feel like Gen Z's are going to try to not raise iPad YouTube kids and are going to revert back to our roots and get their kids outside, et cetera. I don't know, let me know thoughts. I think that's 100% accurate.
00:55:38
Speaker
I don't think this whole influencer thing is going to last in the way we think as long as we think it's going to happen. No, it'll continue to evolve. But it's the new celebrity. Hollywood isn't a thing anymore. It's like influencers are just the celebrities. What's up, Eames? What do you think? Have you ever met a 19-year-old and gone to their Instagram? They have one Instagram photo. It's the thing of the times. I don't know people in high school right now that have curated feeds and the same way that we do. no So I do think that the next moving up the needle will be people who just like don't care and that will be cool um and don't post as much and a little bit more mysterious. So so I'm not describing myself, but I'm talking about people adjacent who like to be mysterious, who
00:56:24
Speaker
You know, don't post that much, but when I'm really getting at girls, relax. Okay. What I'm really getting at is that I will say though, one of my biggest things, and I've talked to Joe about this as we age is I don't want to ever try to go. So the opposite of like technological growth. So like.
00:56:41
Speaker
My grandparents have actually done a weirdly good job of this. They do not have wifi, but they have iPhones and like they look up like my Instagram, my grandma looks at my Instagram types it in www.instagram dot.com slash she will go look at it. So she understands like vaguely what's happening, but I think there's a way to keep up with the times technologically and also not let it own you.
00:57:08
Speaker
kind of thing like when I think about my own kids because I think about this I think about this constantly because y'all know I'm trying to like be impregnated sooner rather than later And I do think like I want my kids to be able to use like the technology of the time. Like I'm not going to be moving them back to like Amish times because we want to be close. I do think that's better. Yeah. Well, yeah, I think it's better mentally to be honest. Like it's probably better for their dopamine levels and like their mental health, but I can't allow them to like fall behind in like use of technology and or myself. I was telling Joe, I was like, as we get older, we have to be able to be like,
00:57:46
Speaker
even with like Gen Z stuff, you know what I mean? We can't be like, okay, what's so Gen Z like, what are the kids doing? I'm like, no, let's, let's be aware. Like, let's like challenge ourselves to be in the midst of whatever new thing is happening. Cause that will help our brains evolve better. So we're just not like ancient. Cause I've been thinking about the Trump supporters of it all and thinking like, how do they get here?
00:58:05
Speaker
there They're stupid because they're not evolving with the times. And I don't want to be that person. yeah So I'm like very, I don't want my kids to be that person. And as much as I want to live on a farm and not have any technology, I think you have to have it.
00:58:20
Speaker
sure you can't You can't, you can't. All right, everyone. So that was our campaigning for, uh, the right to be your president, your president. So really think about who you would like to be your president. Um, go vote on the three way Instagram. It's at three way pod. Correct. And if you vote for me and you DM me, then I will, um,
00:58:47
Speaker
I don't know, maybe. I don't know. What will you do? I'm going to give you a kiss on the lips. Everyone can light up outside of my door and I can give you a kiss. She'll give you her personal address and you can light up. No way, Kristin. It's just like one up to one up me right now. No, I'm not one upping you. I was going to say that. No, you weren't.
00:59:13
Speaker
You don't know that you don't know how horny I am. that's impact enough You're literally so and you are always trying to one up me or i'm naturally better.
00:59:24
Speaker
i we that's not true All right, we love you guys. Thanks so much. Go vote for who you want to be your president.
00:59:37
Speaker
Is the name having closing remarks? Tell everyone what you want because I'm going to stop this recording. Can you two, one.