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EP. 66 BONUS Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
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Transcript
Introduction and Banter
00:00:00
Speaker
That is shtick like that, dude. Have you seen my dick? been looking for it.
00:00:07
Speaker
Sir, I'm going to rub one out right here on your counter.
00:00:11
Speaker
We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.
00:00:19
Speaker
I'm rinsing your girl out, bud.
00:00:23
Speaker
That's how identify the Doteca e-drunk.
00:00:34
Speaker
Hello, my name is Nick and I have shaft hair.
00:00:38
Speaker
Scrubbing the pot, which is what I call when I jerk myself off.
00:00:44
Speaker
We're just joking. Everything's jokes.
00:00:48
Speaker
Two girls, one cup? No. Two guys, one screen? Yes.
Why Review Texas Chainsaw Massacre?
00:00:56
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode 66 of the Two Guys One Screen podcast, aka the Hemorrhoid Homies, aka the Poe Town Boys. My name is Nick, and I'm joined by my lovely co-host, Gert. Hey.
00:01:09
Speaker
And we are here motherfucking Tiki. No, we're We're not. I mean, I've never been. You've been. I've been, and it's fuck, it's bumfuck. With all due respect, Texas is bumfuck.
00:01:20
Speaker
I mean, this movie portrays that perfectly, huh? Yeah, you really, i mean, the first time went to Texas was was right before COVID happened. And my sister picked me up from the airport and she lived in whatever place at that time.
00:01:36
Speaker
And she's like, oh, the navigation taking me a weird way. And I was like, you fucking, yeah, it is because we were on a fucking road. It was wild. It was just like nothing. it was just tall grass and like a random house, no driveway, another random a house. Just like fucking crazy. But they got Bucky's.
00:01:54
Speaker
but Shout out to Buc-ee's. have a Buc-ee's hat. Never been. I want to be. I want to be a Barbie girl. um If that Barbie girl is Margot Robbie and I'm laying pipe, then yeah.
00:02:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:11
Speaker
Margot Robbie, not in this film. i don't know if she was a lost. She probably wasn't born yet. I mean, I would say it's for sure it's safe to say prepubescent. It's pre-9-11 for sure.
00:02:23
Speaker
ah Margot raped me. was born in the 90s. She's only 35? Wow. She looks phenomenal. I mean, not that 35 is very old. Who's your spouse? Tom Ackerley. Shout out to Ackerley. You're a lucky son of a bitch.
00:02:39
Speaker
Yo. all The kids kid kind of is a piece of the beard on. Oh, yeah? Hold on. Let me do this math real quick. 1974 minus 1967. Wow. I did wrong.
00:02:49
Speaker
wow i did math wrong
00:02:53
Speaker
Figuring how old Big Len was? No, ah Chris Benoit was seven years old when this movie came out. Ah, seven years old. Probably had no CTE yet. I'd hope not. not No head damage unless his parents were thrown down the stairs. Which is possible.
00:03:09
Speaker
Right. We're very bad at this on this podcast, but we start talking and we are doing the Texas Chainsaw Massacre today. Yeah, that's why we're doing it. And you're probably wondering, well, you didn't say that last week. Yeah, we fucking didn't because we decided off the rip to do this. Because this takes place on August 18th. And it's coming out on August of twenty twenty five the fifty second anniversary Also, the theaters are putting it back out. Yeah.
00:03:40
Speaker
Yeah. So we're we're doing it. But. And technically. will get Dark Knight on Friday. Technically, the movie came out in October of 1974.
00:03:53
Speaker
It takes place in ah August of 73, but it came out in October of 74. So they were like, oh tragedy? Let's make a movie. I mean, it's not a real tragedy.
00:04:05
Speaker
Why not? What do mean? not based on a true story.
00:04:13
Speaker
I thought you were saying, yeah, I'm a, I'm a fucking idiot. Sorry. I mean, it's loosely leather face himself is loosely based on Ed Gein, who they mentioned in a house of a thousand corpses. Shout out to Ed.
00:04:27
Speaker
Yeah. He, uh, but they said he was a cannibal in that movie and he wasn't, he just skin, he like robbed graves, skinned people and like wore them.
00:04:38
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. At least wasn't a skinhead, right? probably was. Nah, he loved his mom. Like, he wanted to fuck his mom. That's wrong. That is wrong. yeah you shouldn't want to fuck your mom.
00:04:49
Speaker
No, unless your mom's a piece. But... Yeah, if your mom's hot, that's what it is. If your mom's a Margot Robbie, we get it. Right. ah I guess we should do a...
Engage with Us Online
00:05:02
Speaker
So follow us on Instagram, 2Guys1ScreenPod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to 2Guys1ScreenPod at gmail.com. Follow us on Letterboxd individually. Follow us on TikTok, YouTube.
00:05:18
Speaker
Send us a voicemail, 508-8-5-8-8-5-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8 but leave a comment that's a motorcycle outside oh fine reporting a yo Can you relax?
00:05:33
Speaker
Yeah. Leave us a comment. Leave us a like.
00:05:37
Speaker
Go listen to our other podcast. Yeah. You want it? Fuck, I want it. I'm going to give it to you. It's our physical media collection pod.
00:05:48
Speaker
It's going to come out eventually. Like constipated shit. It's going to come out. Yo, random thought because it would involve me going to Boston again. Okay. Now game. November.
00:05:59
Speaker
do you know where the House of Blues is? In Boston? Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure i know where it is. ah Well, Avatar is playing there in November, and the tickets are only $55 for Floor.
00:06:11
Speaker
November's a rough month for you. I did see those tickies, and I would be game and going. yeah Yeah. $55 for floor? Stop it. Big, big, big.
00:06:23
Speaker
No, they're not big. And that's like here. They're probably big across like international. Oh, in Sweden for sure. Yeah. For the bucks. Swedish fish. We love you. I tried to put that come button a long time ago. just never worked. Come.
00:06:37
Speaker
Yeah. just wasn't clean. It's unfortunate.
Is Texas Chainsaw Massacre a Quality Horror Film?
00:06:40
Speaker
It is unfortunate. But, ah you know, Avatar, fan of the pod. we are They are a fan of the pod. ah This movie, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, as we've said four times, came out in 1974. You got that?
00:06:54
Speaker
It's pre-Chris Benoit, pre-911. ah It's directed by... the one and only. Tobe Hooper. Shout out to Tobe.
00:07:05
Speaker
ah You and I actually watched Texas Chainsaw 2 together. Yeah, the movie's very fucking bad. And that is like... A hot take.
00:07:15
Speaker
Everybody loves that movie. You and I both gave it a star and a half. It was AIDS. It's fucking terrible. He also made AIDS. Yeah. He also made Poltergeist, which is also another overrated movie.
00:07:27
Speaker
Overrated as fuck. ah But then my favorite Tobey Hooper movie. No, it's not. This is definitely my favorite Tobey Hooper movie. My second favorite Tobey Hooper movie is The Fun House. And everybody seems to hate it.
00:07:38
Speaker
I show them and they hate it. When you say everybody, you're just taking shots at me. I showed Mark. Is that even two and half? No, I showed Mark in Autumn 2, and they were like, well, that was pretty ah pretty boring. I'm like, your life is boring. right This movie's great.
00:07:52
Speaker
I mean, Mark is not a good indication of if movie's good or not. He doesn't know this fuck he's talking about. You're right. But he also made Salem's Lot. That movie's past, too. I also wrote for the Funhouse, in my review, there's honestly some good parts to this film.
00:08:05
Speaker
I did write that. I'll take that. ah So I can acknowledge it. Jeff gave it a two and a half too. Fuck Jeff. What's Jeff? no ever Yeah.
00:08:18
Speaker
Films at home, which is yeah no longer that. Do you think you change it? Cause that's kind of a gay name. Probably. You want to go watch watch some films? Jeff, we love you. Yeah. being I don't even speak to you.
00:08:29
Speaker
Oh, I just signed your DMS a while ago. It's true. When I first moved here. Jeff put me on a bull moose. So I have nothing but respect for that man. i mean, it's getting the bag. I'm proud of him.
00:08:40
Speaker
Don't you own this movie body bags or no? I do. thought that was John Carpenter though. they They're both credited as directors. Oh, okay. ah Either way, he's a director, Tobe.
00:08:53
Speaker
Tobe E. But it's just fun to say Tobe because it's silent E. Yeah, it's very fun to say Tobe. ah We have, here's your cast. Marilyn Burns plays Sally. I don't think this is a question.
00:09:03
Speaker
I'm getting it. Pipe the fuck down. ah We got Alan Danzinger. Whoa. wow Wow. ah He plays Jerry.
00:09:17
Speaker
yeah Yikes, Kebab, Jerry. Jerry's the guy with like the glasses, right? That was Jerry? Kirk's the guy that looks like Young Gravy. Jerry's the guy that keeps begging to drive. I never really got a good shot of his face, but I'm not fucking him.
00:09:31
Speaker
No, he's kind of got like that weird hair that's like almost like a perm. Bro's got a perm or some shit. But everybody in this movie is also wearing bell bottoms. Yeah, and it's only good for women. Yeah.
00:09:42
Speaker
Fashion sense in 1974 is a little mid. It's all right. Yeah, it's fair. So he's just going to be a... He ain't fucking it.
00:09:51
Speaker
He ain't fucking it. ah We got Paul A. Partain, who plays the vegetable Franklin. Yeah. I mean,
Analyzing Early Scenes and Atmosphere
00:10:00
Speaker
literally, they call him invalid.
00:10:02
Speaker
in I would say... Like in the first opening crawl. Oh, do they? Yeah, they call him invalid. And I'm like, you know what? That's what we're going to call him now. invalid.
00:10:13
Speaker
They're not retarded. They're invalid. Handicap people just call them invalids. Yeah. Like, yeah I mean, that's almost worse, right? Invalid. You're invalid in life, bro. Yeah. You're invalid. Your vote doesn't count. Not that voting even matters, but right.
00:10:26
Speaker
Yeah. Uh, he, I mean, he's probably the most annoying character in the movie, I would say. Yeah. His, his death is also probably the best. So I wanted to ask you about that, which I have a question about later.
00:10:41
Speaker
William Vale, man has no picture, but this is Young Gravy. Yeah, Young Gravy in the flesh. In the flesh. i I would probably dig Young Gravy down, but not this guy.
00:10:52
Speaker
This guy kind of skip. Yeah, because I was looking at his teeth, and they were a little, I thought they were like black for a minute. i don't know. Just wasn't it. He ain't fucking it. He ain't fucking it.
00:11:05
Speaker
Next, we got Terry McMinn. who ah plays Pam. She could fucking, Pam could fucking get it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's not even quite.
00:11:17
Speaker
Uh, whoa, wait, what the fuck is going on here? Okay, so Edwin Neal plays the hitchhiker. Correct. Now, I was watching this movie and my phone was not in reach and I wanted to look up the cast list and Edwin Neal has a name On Google, like, his character has a name, and it's Sawyer.
00:11:42
Speaker
That's the family's last name. Oh, yeah, there's Drayton Sawyer is the... That's the dad. That's daddy. Oh, he really is fucking hitchhiker. Yeah. Sorry to burst your bubble.
00:11:53
Speaker
No, I'm just fucking retarded sometimes. But it's always... um Before I really got big into, like, you know... cast and all that i always thought that chop top in texas chainsaw 2 was the hitchhiker who was played by bill mosley and they're not the same character and that really burst my bubble he's also in a movie called the american nightmare i think that's cody rhodes It probably is, right? Whoa.
00:12:23
Speaker
Look at the fucking cast in this fucking thing. An examination of nature of 1960s, 70s horror films. The involved artists. It's fucking who George Romero, John Carpenter, Tom Savini, David Cronenberg, Wes Craven, Tobe.
00:12:36
Speaker
I'm out breath already. And then bunch of irrelevant people. Oh, keep scroll down he keeps going down. Jimmy Lee Curtis is here. Lon Chaney? What? thought he was dead. Nick Castle?
00:12:47
Speaker
Yeah, Nick Castle. Michael Myers himself? This came out in 2000, so yeah.
00:12:54
Speaker
Anyways. Boris Karloff? Martin Luther King Jr.? What? quite There's probably clips of him in the movie. Yeah. RFK? ah RFK or JFK?
00:13:06
Speaker
R, not J. R. ah ah All right. Next person on our cat. Well, we're not fucking. i don't think we're fucking any of the of the Sawyer family.
00:13:18
Speaker
That's for sure. He ain't fucking it.
00:13:22
Speaker
He ain't fucking it. We got Gunnar Hansen who plays Leatherface. Oh, is Old Man like the Old Man? That's fucking, what's his name? That's his dad. That's Dad.
00:13:34
Speaker
Dad is Old Man? Yeah. But his name is Drayton or no? Like, not in this one, but later. Later. because that Well, I need to know names for the scene by scene. That's why I was at, that's why I'm like. Just call me Old Man.
00:13:47
Speaker
you know? He's going to called Drayton because i wrote Drayton. It's fine. Or gas station attendant was what i is also what I wrote. Dad. Chef. They call him Chef. Yes, Chef. You're nothing but a bitch hog.
00:14:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:03
Speaker
We got John Duggan who plays the grandfather, not the godfather. Like the wrestler or the movie? Shout out to the wrestler, though. Yeah, right? Yeah, that guy's a legend.
00:14:14
Speaker
He's got them hoes. Yeah, he does got them hoes. I don't think we need to shout anybody else here. That's correct. That have no pictures. So this franchise has, there's one good movie and it's this one.
00:14:26
Speaker
Did you say the remake was good? The remake? Yeah. I also like, so they did a legacy sequel before a legacy sequel. They did Texas Chainsaw 3D in 2013. I saw it in theaters with my father.
00:14:41
Speaker
That was underage. That's how we like it here. Yeah, oh that's true. That movie was glorious shit. I was kidding. Yeah. But they did a legacy sequel and that movie is pretty okay.
00:14:55
Speaker
But then they retconned it with the, like, was it Netflix, Hulu, um whatever. gonna fucking retcon 2022.
00:15:05
Speaker
I'm gonna wreck my cock in your ass. I'm hoping. I'm trying. i don't know. Can't get it up. It's problem. ah But this is the only movie that's worth a damn pretty much in the series. And that's fine because it's a fucking classic for a reason.
00:15:19
Speaker
Oh, yeah, it is. I mean, we're recording today. ah Should we say that?
00:15:29
Speaker
Yeah. Dude, we're starting recordings today for horror months. Get fucking ready. And the recordings today are this movie and House of a Thousand Corpses. And this back-to-back, you can so obviously see the inspiration.
00:15:42
Speaker
Oh, yeah. like that It's like so obvious. Rob Zombie was a big fan. 1974 goddamn classic, which is this film. If you're new to this this ah podcast...
00:15:56
Speaker
where We do a scene by scene. So if you haven't seen the movie, go watch it or don't. And you got to really bring yourself in. Like 1974, there was really nothing out there like this. Like this was pre-Slasher, pre-Halloween, like pre-all of them, you know? so Bro, I'm telling you, in 2025, where we say on this podcast all the time that not much works and like we're desensitized, this movie still disturbs me.
00:16:26
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. third act still holds up. Oh my God. The third act still holds up. And this movie was made fucking 50 years ago. Yeah. Very uncomfortable movie.
00:16:37
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. And the great thing, they always say, like, less is more. You don't really see anything in this movie. Really no blood or gore or anything.
00:16:49
Speaker
Yeah, but i kind of wanted it
00:16:53
Speaker
Yeah, but I think that makes scarier. That's what I was going to ask you, though. like When Franklin gets murdered on the remake, they don't fucking show that? The remake? The remake's gory as shit.
00:17:05
Speaker
That was 2003. We're way past that. we're way past that why No, I know. I'm just saying like i't know if they were going to intentionally keep it not. Oh, no. or they would Or they would show the gore. Because like I would have loved to have seen Franklin get fucking split open.
00:17:18
Speaker
yeah all you see is like blood splatter onto Leatherface. But he likes it. so All right. We'll get into that. We will. All right. So Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
00:17:31
Speaker
The film opens with a ah scroll, which Gerald so kindly has the words to that. And we'll dictate it to you now. got it for you. This film, which you are about to see, is an account of the tragedy which befell a group of five youths, in particular, Sally Hardesty and her invalid brother, Franklin.
00:17:50
Speaker
We like youths. not no I'm just kidding. It is all the more tragic in that they were young, but had they lived very, very long lives, they could not have expected, nor would they have wished to see as much of the mad and macabre as they were to see that day.
00:18:06
Speaker
For them, an idyllic summer afternoon drive became a nightmare. The events of that day were led to the discovery of one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American history, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Key Moments and Iconic Scenes
00:18:21
Speaker
Hey, great. There's some camera flashes and we just see like ah dead a dead person's hand and a shoe. then you just pull up fucking top. this The camera flash is in every single Texas Chainsaw movie.
00:18:37
Speaker
That exact sound. They just pull the same clip. I liked it. Yeah, it's spooky. For this movie, I liked it. but I don't even know how to make it. Try and make it. Ka-doing! I'm just going to let that one lee live in eternity now. Yeah.
00:18:52
Speaker
Oops. ah After that, we get two bodies that are like kind of strapped together. And they're like, ah is this guy like straddling the grave? Or how are they fucking on? is that the cross? Like what is how are they attached to this fucking grave?
00:19:07
Speaker
They're fucking dead. That's yeah. I mean, you know, they just fucking skewered them on there. Yeah. I mean, I think you're led to but kind of believe that.
00:19:20
Speaker
It was Homeboys. The radio is talking about grave robbers, too. That's something going to keep in the back of your mind. Just keep it back there because a character in this movie likes it. Yeah, I like He might be into necrophilia.
00:19:33
Speaker
Who knows? Maybe he's fucking it. ah He can be, but just remember, Billy ain't. He ain't fucking it. He ain't fucking All right? Janice.
00:19:46
Speaker
There's a, there's the credits. I'll be honest. I fast forwarded through the credits and it was just like a fucking red, like pulsing screen. I was like, yeah, yeah whatever. It's not like the Spider-Man two credits. 1974. Low budget, super low budget. I don't know if you could tell. e it to that beau Yeah, of course. Yeah. I mean, it takes place basically in one house.
00:20:05
Speaker
Yeah. It takes place on the side of the road, a house and a gas station. Right. Yeah. after the credits, we see a dead armadillo. This group of people pulls over, and it's probably Kirk, or it's Jerry, I don't fucking know. One of them gets out of the van ah to ah open the side door and put some planks out, because Franklin, who is a vegetable, he's in a wheelchair.
00:20:31
Speaker
Chill. Wheelchair. He has to get out because he has take a piss and he pees in a bucket. i don't know why you pee. He can't. I guess you pee in your lap. That would. Yeah, I thought the same thing. And I'm like, oh, I guess he just like piss on himself.
00:20:44
Speaker
So that's not good. Do you think if you got it up, though, you were fucking erect, you could like shoot it over your like morning. Well, you're like stand for the back. Looks like a sprinkler at that point. You know, yeah. ah Yeah.
00:20:56
Speaker
Or just piss in the fucking Kirk's mouth to save, you know what Electricity, yeah. I don't know. Why is he piss in a can, though? Piss in a bottle? I don't know.
00:21:06
Speaker
Yeah. think You think they dump it and then just bring it back with them? Not oh yeah no not that it fucking matters, but. Probably. Yeah. I've never peed in a bottle or a can, but I have jerked off into a can.
00:21:17
Speaker
Right. But I, I've also never peed in a bottle and I've never jerked off into a can. Proud of that one. Yeah. My dicks actually is bigger to not, it couldn't fit it in a, in a water bottle.
00:21:29
Speaker
could say that. don't think the average person can. Just the head. But that's all you need. Just the tip. My head is fucking huge. Yeah, but just a hole in the hole. Yeah. You know, hold a whole action.
00:21:41
Speaker
You're good. Just to like where you where you want to sound yourself. That's where I would have to fit it in there. Right. Exactly. That's a cat. see him all He's going fucking crazy right now. yeah jumped up on the cabinet. And really, Twix is right here. Just chilling like.
00:21:58
Speaker
I'm dyslexic. and stop Sup tics. There she is. Hey, Twix. Anyways. So, I don't really get this part, but I guess if a tractor-teller passes by and, like, causes a gust of wind.
00:22:10
Speaker
I thought he he honked a horn and he got scared. Well, it knocked over Kirk, too. Yeah, but Kirk... Yeah, that's true. I thought maybe Riri didn't have his fucking brake on.
00:22:21
Speaker
No, he didn't have brake on for sure. And do you think he just tumbled down the hill and then peed on himself too? He had to have, right? Yeah. scott its got of himself gotta be It's gotta to be p right? It's gotta be P. That's gotta be... That's gotta be Kane! Had to find a way to put it in there, right?
00:22:39
Speaker
Yeah. New clinic. stay. Yeah, just like rape. Had to find a way to put it in there. Jesus!
00:22:50
Speaker
so Wow. That's fucking terrible. Yeah, like that. can keep that, though. It's fine. ah We'll see in the edit. I get soft in the edit. ah soften the a on that one yeah um but yeah soft soften the r with a on that one yeah so uh but it's cool because 1974 they really have stunt actors on a low budget so homeboy's literally falling down this cliff you could have died it's cool to see vegetables go down a cliff yeah yeah you could have died and movie would have been over yeah yeah yeah uh so ah the next cut they're driving and ah
00:23:30
Speaker
Pam is talking about fucking horoscopes, which nothing pisses me off more than someone who fucking follows horoscopes. Some bullshit. Oh, Saturn's in retrograde. Like, I don't fucking care.
00:23:41
Speaker
I don't even know what the fuck that means. yeah I couldn't tell you either, but it's right probably bullshit. I think, i don't know if i sat on this podcast or not, but I used to work with this guy who is now a they-them, which is fine. You can be a they-them.
00:23:52
Speaker
Sure. We respect everybody. ah He was like, I bet I can guess your horoscope. And I was like, why does even fucking matter? He's like, let me guess it.
00:24:03
Speaker
And I was like, okay. And he's like, are you a Libra? And I was like, yeah. He's like, oh my God, I fucking got i go, no, i'm not a fucking Libra, you idiot. And I walked away. What are you? ah I'm a Capricorn.
00:24:15
Speaker
Oh. I don't even fucking acknowledge it. I'm an Aquarius. Yeah. you are You are a queer, that's for sure. Right. I was going to say, I think...
00:24:27
Speaker
works out. Yeah. Yeah, right. If you're an Aquarius or a queer or a Capricorn, hit us up. Yeah, let us know. We we acknowledge all of you.
00:24:38
Speaker
We do, but we just respect you a little bit less if you believe in horoscopes. Yeah. And even more if you believe in God. but i I was going to say, I actually respect you more you believe in God than horoscopes.
00:24:48
Speaker
ah That might be true, yeah. yeah Well, actually, we might actually have to admit that we respect horoscopes more than God because at least horoscopes are based on planets, which is somewhat scientific. That's very true.
00:25:00
Speaker
What are we going to do? No, I'm on team horoscopes. ah You're on team horoscopes? Fuck God. Yeah. Right. Um, well, that's not the other movie that has the God is not real or God is dead sign. It's not this one.
00:25:12
Speaker
Right. Uh, anyways, so Sally wants to go make sure grandfather's tomb has been untouched because of these grave robbers. Uh, and they go it's kind of like grabbed her by the fucking arms. like you're coming with me to go see your grandfather.
00:25:26
Speaker
And then they, one cares different times, I guess. Um, He's like, hey, man, I hope i don't hope you don't mind I'm stealing your girl for a second. I'm going to go fuck her in the graveyard. Yeah, right on. Come on. Where Grandpa Grave at? Yeah. yeah ah And her grandfather's grave was fine, and they cut.
00:25:45
Speaker
They're back in the van again, and there's a bad smell. You can answer. Just tell him he's on the podcast. Jake, you're on the Two Guys, One Screen podcast. Hello, Jakob. was good.
00:25:56
Speaker
gonna try and name the movie you sent me a snap of Alright, guess it. but this The second one you watched? Captain Spalding's Museum of Monsters and Mischief.
00:26:08
Speaker
You can read a Snapchat. Congratulations. It's not the name of the movie. Also, I don't think it said Mischief. yeah Hey man, I thought maybe that was the name. No. But shout to Captain Spalding.
00:26:20
Speaker
Yeah. Hey, great. You say goodbye? you did. cut on Our local Jew, ladies and gentlemen. Local, yeah. I mean, the relative.
00:26:32
Speaker
but He's the closest Jew to me that I know. Yeah, I don't know. the only Jew that I know is my uncle. Seemed closer than Jake is. To me? Yeah.
00:26:44
Speaker
I meant location-wise, but all right.
00:26:51
Speaker
Yeah, he's in Jersey. Oh, closer. Okay. I was saying jake's Jake's literally the closest Jew to me that I know of relative to location. Oh, yeah. I thought you meant close to me like emotionally.
00:27:04
Speaker
No, but... No Jew has been able to break the walls down yet.
00:27:10
Speaker
The emotional walls. Except Jake. Yeah, Jake has broken down every wall. Jake now has less hair than Chris Jericho. That's not a competition. Are you talking about Chris Jericho now? Because that man's balding too.
00:27:24
Speaker
He got the long hair to cover it up. Exactly. Smart. Jake, you got to get a hippie ponytail. and And Jericho's got a better beard. Sorry. Jericho's got a great bod.
00:27:37
Speaker
Jericho's a goat. You are not. He's little round now. Yeah. Yeah, he's unfortunately not. Um, so they're passing this fucking slaughterhouse and, uh, Franklin knows all about this fucking slaughterhouse and how they used to kill with sledgehammer, but now they use a gun.
00:27:57
Speaker
And they stopped to pick up this hitchhiker who is, I wrote, a fucking drug addict. I mean, mean why would you stop to pick this guy up? Well, yeah, they even say it. They're like, oh, hitchhiker, we should pick that guy up, right?
00:28:11
Speaker
Yeah. No, should this this is back in a time where I guess it was normal. this is But this is like one of the movies that like set up like, hey, in horror movies, we should make bad decisions. It's true.
00:28:21
Speaker
And then everyone following was like, we're going to also do this. Modern times, we technically have hitchhiking, but it's monitored like Uber. We also have hitchhiking. I mean, I've seen people on the street, but like thumbs up, like, Hey, pick me up. I would never fucking do that.
00:28:36
Speaker
Fuck. No, absolutely not. Uh, so he says that this drug addict addict guy, hitchhiker says that his family, uh, that his family worked at Slaughterhouse and and meat has always been in his family. Man's fucking carrying meat.
00:28:53
Speaker
I mean, killing meat. And, um, I mean, this guy's, this guy's, all you know, super re re, but so he's, so he's probably packing. yeah i mean You think this dude slinging dick actually? Honestly? Yeah. i don't hate that. He probably slinging dick. I mean, leather faces for sure.
00:29:08
Speaker
That's a big boy. Yeah. And boy, cause he's only 20 in this movie.
00:29:17
Speaker
I guess he's probably carrying some meat. I don't look at him and think big cock, but he probably has a big cock. Yeah. ah Let us know what you think. And the hitchhiker does not like the fact that they're using the guns now for cow because it's put people out of jobs.
00:29:34
Speaker
ah But he still has some pictures that he shows them of all the cows he murdered. They're just in his pocket. I don't even think he murdered them. I think he snuck in there and took pictures.
00:29:44
Speaker
Didn't one of them, wasn't in the background of one of them, or am I making that up? was he selfie in 1974? The first one, he definitely was not in. And the second one, it was a cow like on a table. And I thought there was a person standing behind it.
00:29:56
Speaker
Maybe one of them, though. I don't know. I could be wrong. You don't really good you don't really get to see good ah image of the pictures. I would agree with that.
00:30:06
Speaker
And then he talks about how to make head cheese. You ever have it? No, but I know it's still a thing. Yeah, I googled it. Boar's Head sells it. ah Yeah, I mean, if you're into that kind of thing.
00:30:18
Speaker
No, it's like the remnants of their heads. Yeah, they just boil it. I'm good, dog. Yeah, but I do like dick cheese. Yeah, and you can like give me head while I'm eating cheese. Like, that's the life.
Sally's Desperate Struggle and Escape
00:30:36
Speaker
Well, Franklin likes head cheese, too. Head cheese is probably also what you could you just you could just call dick cheese head cheese because that cheese grows in your head. That's true. That's true. But that's not edible.
00:30:47
Speaker
That's for all you motherfuckers that still got hoodies on your cocks. Yeah. That's not edible, though. correct I mean, you could. Anything's edible if you try. That's true. some I mean, some may argue head cheese probably shouldn't be a...
00:31:01
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, i I would... If I... Knowing what it was, I'd be like, this is kind of weird that even trying this. I mean, nowadays, it's probably, like, really, like, preserved and, like, safe. Yeah, but i bet those, like, French fucks like it. They go, oh, it's my head cheese. theyhan my my yeah And eat it. My preserved head cheese. Why'd that go to Donald Trump?
00:31:22
Speaker
Yeah, they're just fucking eating head cheese. They're stroking a guy off that has head cheese. Right. Well, someone... Who's his fucking mommy? They escargot over there. so I keep thinking it's a mommy. It's the same fucking lady.
00:31:35
Speaker
You ever have escargot? Actually, I have not. I don't know if I... I don't think I'm interested in it. Snails are one of my most hated creatures on the planet, so I'm definitely not. But you're definitely trying to slurp up Sally's snail trail, right?
00:31:48
Speaker
Thousand percent, bro. Yeah, just fucking lick it off the ground. ah Yeah. ah I to make that a sound one. Yeah.
00:31:58
Speaker
like man when he's going after all that ndas oh man
00:32:05
Speaker
yeah um so for some reason they picked this guy i guess franklin is playing with his pocket knife pause but but i guess he probably just pulled it out whoa ah like defend himself probably because this guy looks no because you know earlier he was like picking under his nails with it Well, he's a fucking idiot for just holding a knife out. And this junkie just takes a knife right out of his hand ah and he starts gashing his own palm.
00:32:33
Speaker
Which is... I mean, it's not something a normal person of sound mind would do. i don't know if I've ever sounded myself or ah intentionally cut myself. i don't know why you're saying, I don't know if I've done it. I thought you should know.
00:32:46
Speaker
No, I've definitely never sounded myself. like She's like, oh, there was that one time I can't tell if it was a dream or not. There was a shard of glass going in my pee hole. Yeah, I've definitely never done that. But I don't know if i've actually if I've ever purposely cut myself.
00:33:01
Speaker
Especially your palm is gnarly. I feel like there's you keep something major in there, right? It's gotta be. It's gotta be, Kane. You can't fucking wrap that nice, though. Where'd the fucking button go?
00:33:14
Speaker
Why did it fade off like that? I don't know. Give us the button, damn it.
00:33:21
Speaker
Thank you. thank Thank you, Vince. But you can't like, uh, you can't wrap that nice. Sew it. Stitch You could stitch it and flick it. i don't know. You'd have to glue it.
00:33:32
Speaker
You'd have to fucking snap it shut. Yeah. People get their palms tattooed. That's gotta hurt. I mean, anything on the hand, as far as tattoos concerned is crazy to me. Crazy. This lady that I work with and granted, like you have to use your hands in the kitchen.
00:33:46
Speaker
So they're going get worn down. Or if you're a hooker. but But she got a ah butterfly like right here in the crevice of like where your thumb and your index finger are.
00:33:57
Speaker
that That is a nice spot. Yeah, but why would you... Not in the kitchen. Not if you're like using your hands a lot, because it's going to fade over time. That skin's going to get worn the fuck down.
00:34:08
Speaker
and then she And then she got a fucking ah right above the tit-tat that just says her name. Why y'all getting your names tattooed on your body? You don't fucking know your name? Her own name. it What is she?
00:34:21
Speaker
Hispanic. That's why. uh... Oh, that's actually her name, no bullshit. No bullshit, bro. I just chose a stereotypical Hispanic ah name. I also did work with this guy who had his whole name, like, full government name tattooed down his arm, and he had, like, waves crashing behind it. All you're...
00:34:44
Speaker
What are you doing? What are we doing? that I'm all for tattoos. Get whatever you want. That's fucking dumb. Yeah. I mean, you're whole I would ask him like most of the time because I always saw it from a distance. Like, oh, it's like some kind of like oceanic, like partial sleeve. He never got finished.
00:35:00
Speaker
And then one day I actually looked at it and it fucking just said his name. And I was like, what the fuck is this for? was like, do you have so many fake green cards? That's can remember your real name. oh head through He was Hispanic too. Oh,
00:35:11
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, the people I work with are not white. but Yeah, I guess. Yeah, we're not, I don't got like Germans or fucking... I'm against waves on a dark person. It's crazy. Well, the problem is also like... I said problem. It's not a problem.
00:35:25
Speaker
It's not a problem. It's problem with ah dark people getting tattoos is you're probably a criminal. a criminal.
00:35:36
Speaker
So this man fucking cuts his palm and he just laughs about it gives Franklin his knife back. And then ah he has another knife at the ready in his sock. It's like one of those old school ah razors to shave with.
00:35:50
Speaker
Yeah. It's a nice one. I'd be scared, bro. He shows it to him and Young Gravy's like, hey, put that shit back, bro. He's like, put that shit back in the trunk while I fuck your mom.
00:36:01
Speaker
Um, then he decides to just take a photo of all of them. And it's like one of those old fashioned photos. It's like a Polaroid, but it's bigger. Yeah. Like, uh, yeah. Yeah. Polar John. Um, and, uh,
00:36:15
Speaker
He's like, oh, you guys need to drop me off my house. They're right over there. And he's like, you come in for dinner. And then he's like, I want $2 for the picture I just took. And like, why would we pay you for a photo we didn't ask for?
00:36:26
Speaker
Right. ah And they decide they're not going to pay him. So he lays out some like foil and fucking lights his picture. Yeah. And like lights his fucking picture on fire. So obviously they don't want a fucking fire in their van.
00:36:40
Speaker
And apparently cutting your own palm open isn't weird enough to get kicked out of the van. But lighting the picture on fire was the last straw. They're like, okay, now get the fuck out Because he also cuts Franklin.
00:36:53
Speaker
Correct. They're freaking out about the fucking fire. He fucking cuts Franklin's arm. Yeah. Like that would be. Also that cut was, I mean, I guess it's 1974. Not that bad. No.
00:37:04
Speaker
should have went down his arm further. He should have started like an elbow and fucking dragged that shit. Well, they probably ran out of Heinz ketchup. That's fair. ah me look at the budget while you keep going.
00:37:18
Speaker
So they're all like, Jerry, pull over. Jerry, please. gary Stop Jerry. Jerry, please. And he cut, they cut, he cuts Franklin's arm, like you said.
00:37:28
Speaker
And ah after they all like kind of recuperate fucking Pam is talking about horoscopes again, how Franklin's isn't looking so hot, but like fucking, yeah, of course it's not. Cause that shit just flexes to whatever you need it to be.
00:37:40
Speaker
So the budget is not 100%, but it was less than a hundred thousand.
00:37:48
Speaker
Okay. Okay.
00:37:50
Speaker
ah they stop at a gas station and they ask the attendant, who was like the old man, where the old Franklin house is. And to be fair, this guy, i mean, I know he's fucking unhinged.
00:38:03
Speaker
Right. He did tell him, like, you don't want to be going there. I don't... Like, yeah, he's a bad guy, but he's like the least bad out of all of them.
00:38:13
Speaker
Yeah, guess. I mean, he did abduct a du girl. It's pretty bad. I mean, I guess... I kind of want to say like Leatherface is the least mean because he doesn't know any better. He's special needs. He's fucking unhinged, bro. That kid's unhinged.
00:38:27
Speaker
Yeah, but he's just doing what his dad tells him, right? Yeah, but he killed those fucks. Like as each person entered the house, he just fucking killed them. There was no one there being like, hey, go kill them.
00:38:39
Speaker
He just doing that shit. They got to eat, yo. Like you said, he's retarded. We don't know. Right. Yeah. Yeah. He don't know. He's just doing shit. He's probably just protecting his house and, uh-oh, protecting it with a chainsaw.
00:38:50
Speaker
But here's the thing. He's a fucking Mahoyman Yoiman, but he does recognize his family. Right. He does that. He's duh. You know? He's got that going for him. And he tries to talk. He kind of does like, the he's kind maybe he's Italian because he's he's talking and like screaming and moving his hands.
00:39:06
Speaker
He's trying. Licking his lips. ah So, i mean, all I'm saying is this old man does warn them. Like, you probably shouldn't going over there because you're going to eaten. Yeah.
00:39:18
Speaker
Bad shit's over there. And Franklin's like, my father owns it, which don't know what happened to Franklin's father, but he definitely had not been in this building for a long ass time. ah And the old man offers them barbecue. So we got barbecue inside. and they pick some up and i we're led to believe they eat it.
00:39:33
Speaker
um Yeah. And I'm pretty sure it's human. Yeah, it's human for sure. No, it's definitely human. Yeah. Confirmed it's fucking human.
00:39:43
Speaker
Then there's the next scene. They're driving the car and Franklin asks Kirk if he would cut himself like that like the hitchhiker did. Kirk's like... fucking No. you're fucking Where are you feelings? you want cut your Where are you? Cut vertically, horizontally for attention.
00:40:00
Speaker
Results. Yeah. Vertically for results. Then go lay in the bathtub. Fuck yeah. Or just do a toaster. It's easier. yeah So i I didn't read the scene by scene right, but they pick up the barbecue and Sally notices the blood on the outside of the van.
00:40:16
Speaker
um Next scene, they pull up to... made a weird symbol on the van. To Franklin's house. And they made a funny joke that it looks like Bela Lugosi's birthplace.
00:40:29
Speaker
Which... Hey, respect your elders, you know what i'm mean? Right. But by elders, that movie was only like, what, 30 years before?
00:40:39
Speaker
Yeah, but they're your elders. Damn, you think nineteen you think Dracula was already a classic in 74? Probably, right? ah I would say it's gotta be.
00:40:50
Speaker
It's gotta be a classic. Yeah. yeah Dracula? Yeah. I mean, I know it's a classic. It is now for sure. i mean. Yeah. Well, what, what, I mean, we call the Incredibles a classic, right?
00:41:06
Speaker
Oh God, that was 20 years ago. 21 years ago. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like just certain movies are, are classics. I don't know. these are already I think over some people like criticisms today are like an instant classic. Then you will see it's a fucking three star.
00:41:21
Speaker
Well, like Get Out is like a horror classic now. we'll you know We'll be a classic. Yeah. Modern horror classic. It'll be looked back at as a classic. Yeah. that And Hereditary are the most recent ones I can think of.
00:41:33
Speaker
Yeah. That's. Yeah. I mean, I think some people, I think we both don't agree with this, but some people would say nope. Yeah, I don't like that movie. It's a fine movie.
00:41:44
Speaker
It's a fine movie, but not a masterpiece. Yeah. I mean, and also you're also, you haven't seen the movie, but I don't agree with it. People are going to say Sinners. In like 10 years, I'm like yeah, Sinners is that fucking movie. Yeah. Unfortunately.
00:41:56
Speaker
Spoiler alert. It's over on that shelf. You bought it? Yeah, bought it. You're a wild fucking kid, dude. Yeah. You're going watch it on Macs first. Well. You bought it on 4K?
00:42:08
Speaker
I did. That and Thunderbolts. You bought Thunderbolts? Yeah. You got steelbook or what? No. I don't have Disney Plus anymore. What the going on anymore? Okay. Do you want to see Florence Pugh's tits, which probably aren't in that movie because it's Disney?
00:42:24
Speaker
Yeah, it's PG-13. Yeah. yeah Well, because I didn't want to only buy one thing because I bought... Honestly, that's fair. I'm not going spoil... I guess I'll spoil it anyway. I bought the Ace Ventura 4K steelbook.
00:42:36
Speaker
Well, that I knew was going That was a steal? Yeah. Yeah. They had a steal of it. Okay, sorry. But I saw that at Walmart. i'm like, fuck I might as well get this. And I was just staring at him like, like whatever, fuck it. You're going fucking sell that back in fucking two months.
00:42:52
Speaker
Maybe, I don't know. Maybe I'll watch ah one of them tomorrow. ah right I'll be honest. Thunderbolt's probably not getting watched. Yeah, unless we unless we do the MCU, you're not going to watch it. yeah Sinners for sure I um and need to watch, but...
00:43:08
Speaker
I gave it a three and a half. I just think the four and a half, five star movies is, is just kind of aggressive. i mean, it's probably like the get out and nope thing, right It's about black people and horror. So instant classic black Panther instant five out of five instant classic.
00:43:23
Speaker
yeah i i in I don't know how to say my thoughts without sounding like a racist. so i'm just Me either, so I just said it. Well, I'm just not going to say the thing.
00:43:34
Speaker
Anyways, back this movie, it has only white people in it. That's true. No. Black guy at the very end. Truck driver. Yeah, and it hass a and has like fucking black mamba on his truck, too. Yeah, bro, he looks like he's straight out of like some blaxploitation movie.
00:43:54
Speaker
yeah uh so they leave franklin by the car to clean the blood off of it and uh he's like staring at it thinking that means something and then he can't find his knife uh we cut to kirk and i wrote he hears noises but i think it's just the girls laughing but they laugh for like way too fucking long yeah they're in this abandoned house just for no fucking reason just to hang out i guess Yeah, they're not documenting anything. They're not, like, there with, like, fucking cameras.
00:44:22
Speaker
Because even, like, Sally's like, oh, I slept here when I was a kid. I slept around. What do you got? A fucking Big Gulp? You went to 7-Eleven? I don't know where she went, but she got Big Gulp.
00:44:35
Speaker
Big goal don't have any 7-Elevens in your ear. Got a Big Gulp cup? Got a Big Gulp? I fill it up with my goat milk? Yeah. Yeah. child I stole that bitch's bush and then gave she gave me big gulp.
00:44:50
Speaker
Glup, glup, glup. ah ah So Kirk walks in this fucking room and in the corner of this room, it's just spiders? They're just like daddy long legs or what?
00:45:04
Speaker
I don't know. They were fucking terrifying. If you saw that many spiders, what would you do? I'm running. I'm out. I'm not even trying. and I lost. Also, why am I in a building like that anyways?
00:45:16
Speaker
Yeah, I think I was in one once when... Probably cut that name, but... Fuck that kid if you're listening. He wanted to he wanted my help filming a music video. I was literally about say, unless you're filming a music video, why are you in an abandoned building? I mean, that's what it was.
00:45:31
Speaker
And it was literally... go ahead. It was like low-key, almost on school grounds. Back in the woods. Way back in the woods, there was an abandoned house.
00:45:44
Speaker
Oh, like not. Okay. and know you're talking about. I'm being retarded. Sorry. So how'd the video come out? Like shit. I never fucking watched it.
00:45:55
Speaker
Did you, did you like hold the camera for him? Yeah. it yeah bars Yeah. But i didn't want to be in there. I'm like, yo, Oh fuck. no I don't want any inclusion in this. It's this trespass. This is literally illegal.
00:46:07
Speaker
Yeah. You did it. That's wild. I did it. Yeah. That's probably the worst thing I've ever done in my life. Illegal. Yeah. um Franklin is trying to call for their group, but they're not coming down to him.
00:46:22
Speaker
Finally, they come down and Kirk and Pam want to go swimming. And Franklin's like, it's just down that way a little bit because Franklin used to live there, i guess. sound his father owned it Down the trail but between the bars is an water hole.
00:46:36
Speaker
I can't move my legs. Yeah. um ah I can't get my dick up. I'll never get touched by a woman again. my i can't feel when I have to poop.
00:46:47
Speaker
I wonder if you're paralyzed. Bro, I'm thinking, right? If you're paralyzed from like the waist down, you don't have feelings. How do you feel when you have to take a shit? I think it just drops. Oh my god. like How do you know you had to take a piss? I feel like you would feel your stomach churned in, no?
00:47:04
Speaker
Your stomach, you probably still have feelings, right? Yeah, but most of the time when I have to poop, I feel it in my anus. Oh, so you're thinking he can't flare his anus out. Right.
00:47:15
Speaker
Yeah. Well, does that mean, can handicapped people not get erections? I don't know. Because blood flow. Right. Which... They still have blood flow. Yeah, because if blood didn't flow their legs, they would just fucking harden and fucking right? Yeah, they just rot off their legs. So they have blood flow, so it's literally just the feeling.
00:47:38
Speaker
But also, we're not doctors. So we probably don't know what the fuck we're talking about. Should we call my sister? Yo. She might know. If someone's paralyzed, can they get hired?
00:47:51
Speaker
She can be at work. That's fine. Live on Two Guys One Screen podcast. I mean, if she's at work, she won't she won answer the phone. yeah What does she do nowadays? She's an ER nurse.
00:48:02
Speaker
Oh, nice. In Texas, which is where this fucking movie takes place. pick That's actually a really good job. Yeah, she's doing well. She's doing good. i don't know where this is. What town is this in? I know a town she works. and what i was like, what the fuck? Why is she mad? She's fucking me.
00:48:20
Speaker
Oh, yeah. She's at work. She won't answer. All right. Anyways, for some godforsaken reason listen this podcast, let us know. Or if you're a fan and you know some medical stuff. Or if your dick can't get up because you're paralyzed. Or if you're paralyzed. you go Yeah. fuck yes yeah If someone fucking, you know, who got paralyzed and wwe WWE? If you got Stone Cold, you know.
00:48:40
Speaker
I was going to Owen Hart, but he's dead. He is dead. i mean, he did it to ah he did it to Stone Cold. Yeah, he did do it Stone Cold. You're right. Ball hit.
00:48:51
Speaker
Ball hit. No pussy lip on that guy. Nah, he's full. Yeah, he got me. Steve Austin's packing for sure. No doubt he's packing.
00:49:02
Speaker
Yeah. ah So where they go to look for this fucking swimming hole, and Jay and Sally are still in the upstairs. um And then Franklin turns around and finds like a weird pile of bones slash feathers, skull, something else.
00:49:21
Speaker
Teeth. Teeth. And he he calls for Sally, and then it cuts, and Kirk and Pam can't find the swimming hole. That thing is dried up. It's dried up.
00:49:32
Speaker
And I guess they get lost. I don't know. they i just don't get why you're walking through the fucking backwoods of Texas is like that. It's just kind of suspect to me. Because they need gas because Homeboy didn't have gas. So they see the...
00:49:45
Speaker
building homey didn't have any gas no don't remember that okay yeah that's why that's why they walked to the sawyer house because uh dick wad young gravy fine like here's the generators yeah he hears generators and he's like gas it's gotta be gas right it's gotta be gas
00:50:09
Speaker
Kane likes fire. and This is going to become a very annoying bit now that I have that button. I'm just realizing i can just fucking use it whenever I need to Kane could play a good leather face. I would agree with that. Stay tuned for a scene of evil review.
00:50:21
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, you're going to, by the time that actually comes out you're going to forget what we even said it. That's probably true. Yeah. Anyways. It's probably Cain. It's probably Cain.
00:50:33
Speaker
Yeah. Don't press it. They get lost and ah they find like a barn. It looked like a barn that had like cars, which I'm guessing these are cars because the family's killing people and just storing their cars.
00:50:45
Speaker
Right. In this area. Because dad's got a trip. um and And Kirk's like, a generator. That means gas. It's like that one. It's like that one SpongeBob thing I can reference. It's a rock, but it's a generator. Right. Generator.
00:50:59
Speaker
This is probably where the this is probably where Dead by Daylight got the inspiration for generators. don't know what Dead by Daylight even means. Oh, it's a game. It's like a horror game. But like games don't got it.
00:51:10
Speaker
But like a bunch of horror people are in it. Like Jason, not Jason, Freddy, Chucky, Scream. It's cute. Uh, so is this house near this barn?
00:51:23
Speaker
Yeah. Um, they knock on their barn. It's fucking wild. They knock on this goddamn door and no one answers. And then Kirk's like, I'm just gonna go inside.
00:51:33
Speaker
And to be fair, if Pam's not for it. That's true. But she, but he also finds like a molar just sitting on the porch just picks it up and then gives it to Pam. And he thinks it's funny. Just different time.
00:51:45
Speaker
If I saw a tooth, I'm running. That's already a bad sign. If I saw my fucking tooth, I'm out. Yeah, I mean. yeah mean That shit probably gold, too. Yeah, you got that crack.
00:52:01
Speaker
Yeah. I've just been a crack rock. Broke my tooth. Crack Crack rock. but a crack rock They're sitting there like, yeah, this is a fucking tooth.
00:52:15
Speaker
A tooth. It ain't no crack. i smoke is shaing work Yeah, no work. Yo, you got that enamel, bro. Let me get some. Pass that enamel. You ever smoke that fucking enamel?
00:52:30
Speaker
Um...
00:52:34
Speaker
So he just kind of walks in the door opens. He just walks in. It's like a bones hanging up and shit, which I thought of a conversation we had at some point about how like certain people like like your brother, like the fucking boiled bones and hang them on the wall.
00:52:46
Speaker
So I guess this is not weird. But for me, it'd be weird. No, it's me. It'd be weird to walk into somebody's home. But well, yeah, but it's also weird in this scenario because it's human bones as opposed to like, you know, yeah but can you like.
00:53:01
Speaker
The shot when the door opens and you just see like straight down the hallway. Those bones, i couldn't tell if they were like human or an animal. No, because if it was like, if someone mounts a deer skull on the wall, you can clearly tell it's a deer skull.
00:53:15
Speaker
You want to fucking mount a deer skull? That's what it's called, bro. Like a fucking throated deer? Yeah, bro. Give me that eight pointer right in my fucking gooch. Fuck my coach. ah So, Kirk goes in. You know that's step that... We're still stuck on Kirk going inside, but yeah, go ahead.
00:53:32
Speaker
You know that scene you were just talking about? the The red wall with all the bones? Yeah. I can remember I have that as a door cover. It scared you that one time.
00:53:43
Speaker
I don't remember it, but sure. Oh, you're like, Leatherface is going to be staring at me all night. like, yeah. you're like yo leather face is gonna be staring at me all my i'm like yeah Was that in Jersey or was that was here? Jersey.
00:53:55
Speaker
Yeah. I don't remember it though. Okay. You're probably too drunk. Okay. Do we fucking take shot for no reason? No. No. That one time is the same time you puked. You're probably fucking drunk. That's the same time you puked my trash can. That's because I puked in your ex's bowl.
00:54:12
Speaker
So fuck her and that bowl. Yeah, fuck that bowl. Yeah. It's only because I was drinking beers that you didn't like, which I thought you were because pumpkin flavored. Yeah. and Because you love pumpkin flavored shit. do. Because you're It's almost spooky season, bitch. Yeah, spooky season beer that you didn't fucking like. And then you bought those fucking little cheap fucking bottles of liquor. And I took one and I just shot it. It wasn't good.
00:54:36
Speaker
Yeah. And not just like, why would I drink liquor after beer? You don't do that. No, it's the other way around. You're in the clear. yeah Right. Son of bitch. All right. Either way. So he's in the fucking hallway. And ah there's bones on the wall, as we said. And the...
00:54:51
Speaker
uh, subtitle said pig squealing. That was the noise was a pig squeal. I'm pretty sure it leather face. I'm just telling you, I'm just telling you to the subtitles on my, yeah, that's what it's, that's what it said. Hey, maybe when they made this Blu-ray, they had it sent out to a third party to do the subtitles for it.
00:55:12
Speaker
And they just wrote pig squealing. They were fucking wrong. It was a human. Um, And he's like going in through a next doorway and he trips and like literally bumps right into Leatherface who decides to bash his head with a fucking mallet. Hama.
00:55:29
Speaker
Yeah. Probably. That's like a goat jump scare, right? It's an OG jump scare. I mean, I definitely didn't see it coming. Because there's no, there's no like had soundtrack. No.
00:55:40
Speaker
No music. And then there's like this little metal door because he bashes his head and and it's like this kill is so like visceral because the guy's like sitting there's like but like he's shaking. Yeah.
00:55:51
Speaker
And he drags him in this metal door slam shut. And then Pam's like, Kirk. Because she's sitting on she's sitting on one of those swing chairs.
00:56:03
Speaker
Yeah. And I'd say... Outside the house. Yeah. I'll say it. A very iconic shot when the camera follows her underneath the... It goes underneath the swing and follows her ass.
00:56:16
Speaker
They also have those ass shots when they were getting ah the Coca-Cola that wouldn't come out of the machine at the gas station. Just like, you're straight fucking ass. This is a very famous shot. ah So she goes inside and I think I think that because the door is open, the room is like illuminated. And then the door wants to close because was dark.
00:56:36
Speaker
And she like stumbles through some curtains that unveil a room that's like full of just bones, feathers. And there's one chicken in a cage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and they have, like, this skeleton set up decorating a couch. Like, just human bones, like, accenting the the shape of a couch.
00:56:55
Speaker
Well, that's what Ed Gein would do. He made, like, lampshades out of, like, human skin. Oh, there lampshades, all right, in this fucking place. yeah, there were. With skulls. What are you doing, when you psycho? Um...
00:57:09
Speaker
So she's like fucking nauseated by this and she starts like not crying, but like, oh like being like, Oh my God. And then, uh, she gets chased by Leatherface and she like just makes it out the front door, but gets fucking snatched.
00:57:22
Speaker
And I remember she gets skewered on this hook or would she just like clip by her clothes? I thought she, uh, she skewered. Think so? Yeah. She didn't sell it very well.
00:57:34
Speaker
1974. Also... no, because none no, no. Because Sally sells the fuck out her performance. This girl doesn't do shit.
00:57:42
Speaker
I mean, i want it to be skewered because that's more brutal. But it would probably go through her, no? Right. But probably not in the budget. Yeah. I don't know.
00:57:52
Speaker
By the way, she gets put on this fucking meat hook. I'm trying to behind the meat hook, you get it? my cock is kind of curved. Is it? No. I just was trying to be funny. It's not curved at all. It's like that? It does lean.
00:58:04
Speaker
Oh yeah, mine leads to the left. Yeah, mine right now is leaning to the right. Just ahead. Mine's actually kind of curved right now. Mine's kind of smushed because I'm fat. Fair.
00:58:15
Speaker
uh, we come back to Franklin, Jay and Sally and, uh, they're like waiting. And Jay's like, I'm fucking sick of it. And he's going to go out. Look, he goes out looking for him. And, uh, Franklin thinks that this blood in the van means something.
00:58:27
Speaker
And it's like a symbol. And he's still concerned. They've lost his knife. Uh, and this is just where Franklin's just kind of bitchy and kind of complains a lot. But, uh, he does, uh, he keeps worrying to Sally and she's like, Franklin, I'm fucking tired, bro.
00:58:40
Speaker
So Jay's looking for, for fucking Kirk. And he kind of walks in the same trail and arrives at the same house from before. um And he enters his room where Kirk was.
00:58:53
Speaker
I missed it. No, when he got hit with the hammer. We were talking i'm about the fucking meat hook and then I skipped it. Yeah, I completely skipped it. But she's on that fucking meat skewer and then Leatherface turns the fucking chainsaw on. And i I'm assuming it's a decapitation.
00:59:07
Speaker
it Yeah, because it was wrong towards his head. Yeah, mama hey. Yeah. Yeah, bald head, black head, mama head. Mama head. Go listen our Friday 13th episode. Fucking pumpkin boy.
00:59:21
Speaker
You remember that? Pumpkin head. Pumpkin head ass boy.
00:59:28
Speaker
ah So Kirk does the exact same thing. he knocks on the door and then... He enters and finds this room where Kirk was just murdered. ah But nobody's jerking it.
00:59:39
Speaker
No one's in there. And ah there's some knocking on the chest freezer. And he opens and this lady pops out. But as she pops out, Leatherface pops in.
00:59:51
Speaker
Knocks motherfucker out.
00:59:54
Speaker
And he shoves the lady back in the freezer. We cut and it's nighttime. And Franklin and Sally are still waiting. i thought the lady was Pam. No?
01:00:05
Speaker
cause she's not on the hook anymore. She didn't. I also thought that, but she didn't look like Pam to me. But I'm also retarded, so I don't i don't know. That's what I have in my notes. I mean, it would make sense because you don't know what happens to Pam.
01:00:20
Speaker
It's got to be Pam.
01:00:23
Speaker
It's got to be. I'll hit the button a minute. I just want to see if there is.
01:00:29
Speaker
Yeah, I guess it's Pam. Yeah, right. It's got be Pam.
01:00:35
Speaker
That's got to be Kane. So Sally wants to go looking for him and Franklin's like, no. yeah And they start calling for Jerry. Jerry. He ain't coming.
01:00:47
Speaker
Jerry. Jerry. And Franklin wants to take the car and go to the gas station. So he wheels around to the other side of the car to honk the horn. And realizes that they that either Kirk or Jay or whoever took the keys.
01:01:02
Speaker
Probably Jerry because Jerry was driving a fucking car. Yeah, he fucking was. it sounds like I'm going looking for him. Give me the fucking flashlight. And Franklin refuses. It's just like fighting for the flashlight and still can't get it out of his hands.
01:01:14
Speaker
And so I'm going without it. And Franklin's like, I'll go with you now. I've decided to go with you. and at first she's like i ain't fucking pushing you yeah but towards the end of that scene she like turns around and grabs him and pushes him in the very next scene she's fucking they're just churning through this goddamn like slop yeah fucking slop land it's not a cornfield but big cornfield vibes and there's no clowns in it no a good movie though i haven't seen it yet i do want to watch it uh Where they run into ah Leatherface who guts Franklin with a chainsaw.
01:01:53
Speaker
Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Right. But we only see one person get killed by a chainsaw. like yeah I guess two if you count Kirk. Yeah.
01:02:03
Speaker
Yeah. ah So is this scene in the remake, is it gory as fuck or no? It's not like a shot for shot remake. That's good. Yeah. Yeah.
01:02:13
Speaker
Does the guy in the fucking wheelchair get gutted though or what? I don't think there's a guy in a wheelchair. Oh. That's fucking ableist. Yeah, good. ah hinders the character.
01:02:26
Speaker
Sally goes running for her fucking life and she's like in the woods and then she comes... i think what they were trying to show here is she gets kind of lost in the woods and he gets like turned around and then ends in front of this house. The house. The house. Because she's like, i got gouty wood. I want poison ivy on my clam.
01:02:43
Speaker
I want gouty um myla I want to get bean aggravated like Elizabeth. Yeah, because she flick her shit. don't want to itch my shit. She flick her shit too much.
01:02:55
Speaker
yeah I don't want to get fucking snatched like an evil dick. Get fucked by a vine. Fucked by a motherfucking tree. Motherfucking tree. that it Oh, that ain't a tree. That's just Daquan. Daquan dick crazy. Get it? He's not a big dick.
01:03:12
Speaker
right That was a compliment. That wasn't racist. Right. Uh, so she runs in this house, closes the front door and runs upstairs and we see Leatherface start chains on the front door, which is going to come back to bite him in the fucking ass.
01:03:26
Speaker
Um, And she runs upstairs and finds two. I mean, I wrote dead people, but I guess one of them's not dead. Grandpa alive, folks. For real, for real.
01:03:37
Speaker
He alive and she sees them and obviously freaks her out. She runs back down. So at this point, Leatherface is broken back into the house. I mean, it's coming from within the house.
01:03:48
Speaker
He's in house. All he had to do is open the door. He's a fucking Mahoma Yoyman. And instead of opening the door, he just fucking chainsawed it down. It's not trespassing because you live there. Right. And there's no one there to shoot you and say, get off my lawn.
01:04:01
Speaker
Right. Because you're in Texas, that would happen. that's That's sad reality. Yeah. ah
01:04:11
Speaker
So she gets chased. And I cannot emphasize enough how much this lady runs this movie and how much she screams. And the screaming really sells movie. Yeah, she actually sounds terrified.
01:04:22
Speaker
I don't want to say this, but she kind of cares with her fucking back. Yeah? A little bit. I mean, do you think, I mean, you think, no, I mean, i like the lore behind like the Sawyer family.
01:04:34
Speaker
But if you have a bad actress here, yeah it's not going to be as scary as it is. I would agree with that. I mean, how long they spent like in the next act of like with her just strapped to the chair screaming, torturing her. Yeah. Yeah. I mean that like, I don't, if you had a bad actress, it wouldn't have sold. i don't know.
01:04:52
Speaker
Um, I think that's why some of the Saw movies come off as like, eh, it's whatever. Because like... Oh! Oh, God! Oh! Yeah. Oh, it hurts. It's like that guy in Novocaine. actually feel anything. just like, oh! Oh, it hurts! Yeah. the Same thing.
01:05:08
Speaker
Go listen Novocaine review. Or don't. It's good movie. It's Novocaine. We talked about Snow White way longer than that than fucking... Novocaine. Novocaine. Novocaine doesn't get... Hey, great.
01:05:20
Speaker
Um... um So she runs this gas station. The old man is there. And she's like, call fucking police right now. Also, if I run to a gas station, freak the fuck out, and there's an old man grabbing my entire face, like, he's like this to her. Like, he's got a fucking great colleague. He's like fucking squeezing her head. Right.
01:05:41
Speaker
Yeah. i like Ray Mysterio fucking bleed. When I was a little kid, I thought that was real as fuck. Like kill Ray Mysterio. shit is sold. I was like, he's gotta be dead. That's gotta be dead.
01:05:56
Speaker
that traumatized me as a kid. i was like, he's dead. i Hey, I get it. I mean, that was like yeah proper fucking. yeah like i thought any I thought Eddie was actually Dominic's dad.
01:06:10
Speaker
Wait, ah hold on a second. Stop. Is Dominic related to Rey or not? Yeah, it's his son. Okay, good. That's not a fake thing? No, it's not. Okay. But they had like a custody of Dominic. A fight custody battle thing. Yeah, that I could see as being a bit. Okay.
01:06:24
Speaker
All right, good. ah So he's trying to come around, but she's fucking hysterical. And he's like, I'm going to get my truck. And he mentioned Childress, something like that. Am I making that up? He definitely said something like that. And i was like, what are you talking about, cuz?
01:06:40
Speaker
But they don't have a phone. How do not have a phone at a gas station? Well, I guess that's not we know why. They also... He wouldn't need to call them. No, because he's going to eat them. Right.
01:06:52
Speaker
And this is where it confirms they're selling human barbecue because she looks over at this like fire pit and it has like a full chest piece. yeah I mean... You're sitting there. Yeah, you you ah you ought to you go to KFC, you get the four piece. You go to this place, you get the chest piece.
01:07:07
Speaker
so Yeah. It's true. Yeah. So he returned with ah with a truck and he comes out holding a burlap sack and a rope. And this is like terrifying, actually.
01:07:18
Speaker
And she starts like breaking down. She's like, do that. She connects the dots on this. Yeah. yeah So she grabs a knife and this was kind of silly. He beats her with broom. He does just grab a fucking broom and beat the shit out of her.
01:07:29
Speaker
Yeah. But he does use like the fucking shtick to choke her out. Oh, yeah. After it breaks. In a different way. Yeah. Yeah. He's not like sticking a stick down her throat. He's like taking this fucking broom and like splinter stick.
01:07:41
Speaker
Yeah. it takeslinter Yeah. Um, and then he had them tying her up. He fucking flips her over. He was getting off to this. You can't tell me he wasn't. He was, but then he like kind of, he did like the whole police thing, right?
01:07:53
Speaker
Put your hands behind your back. Yeah. looking at my dick on your ass and then tie her hands up. Right. I mean, he was into it. He was definitely, he was definitely into it. Uh, And he ties her up. He sticks a cloth in her mouth.
01:08:06
Speaker
how you be I don't mean to laugh at that, it's just a funny way i wrote it. He fucking gags her. It's all right. It's just kinky as shit. It just went wrong. like that what was the What's the kink? Because you've seen it more time. What was the kink and strange dog that she wanted to and when they were in the bedroom?
01:08:23
Speaker
oh, want you to like gut me and like don't say no. Oh, it was like rape me and just fucking do it no matter what. Yeah, just fucking do whatever you want. Just rape me. And he's like, don't know about this. Yeah. By the way, on the topic of Strange Darling really quickly, that movie Weapons is out. And because like this recording is coming out sooner, Weapons is a good fucking movie. But to all you fucking...
01:08:45
Speaker
that are ah dismissing Strange Dawn because of the narrative structure and, oh, it's so obvious, but then you like weapons? Shut the fuck up. loy Literally shut your fucking whore mouths. It's the same shit.
01:08:58
Speaker
it It's the same exact fucking shit. yeah It's not played out the same way, but like the way they're like, this is the story from so-and-so's perspective, and then this is like... Got it. i don't want I don't want to fucking hear it.
01:09:11
Speaker
Because then it's like they do chapter four, which brings you to chapter two or whatever. And then chapter like they do all that kind of shit. yeah And then in weapons, it's like almost the same thing. And people are like, oh weapons are so great. Yeah. Well, Strange Drawing also fucking great. and Fuck you.
01:09:26
Speaker
Also, movies are all subjective, so it doesn't really fucking matter if you were offended by what I just said or not. I shouldn't be offended by what I just said. Yeah.
Comparing Horror Narratives
01:09:34
Speaker
I mean, I'm also not you know not opposed to sucking Strange Darling's dick.
01:09:38
Speaker
Fucking love that movie. It was fucking great, and you're all fucking wrong. They're saying Weapons is better? People... I'm saying Weapons is a good movie. I gave Weapons a four, and I gave Strange Darling like a four and a half. Yeah.
01:09:50
Speaker
ah They're just comparing them. They're just... um What I'm saying is people leave weapons giving weapons like a five-star or a four-and-a-half rating. Because the structuring?
01:10:02
Speaker
Right. They applaud it in the and their reviews, and then you look at their reviews for Strange Darling, and it's like a three or two-and-a-half. It's like, bro, come on. Like, what are you doing, cuz?
01:10:13
Speaker
Gotcha. Also... spoiler alert weapons is not a horror movie i't give a fuck what anybody says i don't even care if you go see it you tell me it's horror movie way i don't give a fuck it's not okay there's two little tiny scary parts and that's okay that's it that's it but also shout out benedict wong really good performance like really good performance nice uh i was very impressed what about your main bitch you hate that bitch who's my main bitch oh the lady from wolfman yeah Yeah. No, she was fine.
01:10:44
Speaker
I thought she was fine. i didn't think she was bad. i don't think anybody was bad in the movie. She's a piece. She's a piece. But Benedict Wong, I thought was like, I was more impressed than anybody else. Anyways, I digress.
01:10:58
Speaker
It's a good movie.
01:11:02
Speaker
chess piece gets fake raped, not fake rape, but didn't get raped at all. Uh, he puts her in her his fucking truck and he, and they're driving back to the house and, uh, he's like fucking hitting her with a stick.
01:11:14
Speaker
course Yeah. It's just funny. Cause like, Hey, chill out. He's just fucking beating the shower with a stick. And it's like, that's not going calm her down, bro. Um, and then he pulls up to the driveway and the hitchhiker is outside.
01:11:28
Speaker
and he says that, uh, The old man gets out of the car and he's pissed because the hitchhiker almost got caught. He starts beating him with the fucking same broom. He's just beating people brooms. He was at the cemetery, so I'm led to believe that he's the one grave robbing.
01:11:42
Speaker
Yeah. um He's also mad that ah the hitchhiker left his brother, a.k.a. Leatherface, alone. And he asked him to help him drag ah Sally into the house. And she's just this whole time. She's just screaming.
01:11:58
Speaker
Yeah. Like literally the rest this movie. She's just essentially you're screaming the whole time. But like good screen. Not good. No, it's selling the movie. Yeah.
01:12:09
Speaker
She's a good seller. Um,
01:12:13
Speaker
So the old man comes inside and he sees the fucking front door beating the shit out of Motherface. That's my favorite line. Look what your brother did to the door.
01:12:24
Speaker
Beats the shit out of him and he shows, uh, Motherface shows him the freezer to make sure that like there was a body in there one got away or whatever. um and then the hitchhiker takes off Sally's fucking bag and he ties her this chair and she sees where she is and just, ah again, bloody murder.
01:12:40
Speaker
Murder. Should've gave her back shots. Hey, yo. ah Not from this guy. Never mind. The old man sends the hitchhiker to grandpa and he tells Sally they're making dinner.
01:12:53
Speaker
And the hitchhiker asks Leatherface to help him carry grandpa down the stairs. The two carry this fucking old ass man in a fucking rocking chair down the stairs.
01:13:05
Speaker
um They cut Sally's finger and let grandpa suck on it. Yeah, suck that shit. And they're sucking on it. He's like... Yeah. And she passes out.
01:13:18
Speaker
And then this scene, I hadn't seen this movie in five years. This scene is what I remember most from the whole movie. so fucking hard. Yeah. This is when Leatherface makes his very famous appearance as the pretty lady, as it's called.
01:13:32
Speaker
um She wakes up and there's just a chicken in front of her, as well as like you, it's like the POV of the table. And then three of the guys and there's like bones and shit everywhere. uh and grandpa's right next to her and she starts screaming and then they start screaming too uh and the lamp the lamp or the chandelier whatever you want to call it is a fucking hey yeah skin hate uh that's fine kill the skinheads yeah sure yeah we're for equality uh she begs for her life and then
01:14:06
Speaker
The hitchhiker calls the old man just to cook, and he's like, shut you fucking bitch hog. um ah You bitch hog. I'm going to call my next girl I fuck.
01:14:17
Speaker
I'm going slap her while we're fucking calling her bitch hog. See, she's into it. I take my juice, you bitch hog. Yeah. Fucking baste her bitch ass.
01:14:29
Speaker
The fucking turkey baste her out. Um, and the old man doesn't like killing, but sometimes you just got to do it. It's just what has to be done. don't like doing it, but I like doing it. And then my next note is screaming. It's just screaming for a while. Yeah.
01:14:46
Speaker
But like for long enough to make you feel uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah. It's a very uncomfortable scene this whole time. Yeah. Just screaming. Remember there's no music at all.
01:14:57
Speaker
Nothing. She's just screaming. uh, the old man tells Leatherface not to torture her. And then, uh, the hitchhiker calls him a fucking cook again. And then he wants to fucking swing on him.
01:15:09
Speaker
Um, but then they decide to let, uh, grandpa kill Sally because grandpa was the most prolific. He was the best. best Yeah. He was the fucking Tom Brady of killing.
01:15:21
Speaker
And, uh, slinging dick too. Yeah. I'm sure back in his day. Uh, The hitchhiker cuts her free and drags her towards fucking grandpa. if She's just screaming for her fucking life.
01:15:35
Speaker
And they put her hair over a picnic basket. Okay, Yogi. this and This part's kind of funny, though. It's like can't it. You guys are so fucking inbred and retarded that you didn't think was going to fucking work.
01:15:48
Speaker
You thought it was going to work, I mean. Like, Grandpa old as shit. He can it can't move. Grandpa can't even fucking hold a goddamn hammer. He can't firmly grasp it. He cannot.
01:15:59
Speaker
So he just keeps dropping the hammer. And then Leatherface wants to help him. And they kind of get in one strike. Kind of.
01:16:10
Speaker
They show a little blood. Yeah. And then the hitchhiker's like, let me do it. And Sally's able to break free. And she runs and jumps out this fucking window. This is a second window she japed out of.
01:16:22
Speaker
I was just going to say, she jumped out another window somewhere, and I didn't write it down. Yeah, when she first got in the house, when Leatherface was chasing her, but she jumped out a second story window that time.
01:16:34
Speaker
She probably snapped her fucking leg. Uh, and she's running and running and running. Yeah, she's for his company. Uh, and Sawyer and Leatherface chase her.
01:16:47
Speaker
This scene was scary because like she's trying to run for her life, and ah Homeboy, i said Sawyer, I was even right, but the hitchhiker is like just kind of jogging behind her and like letting her fucking run. Yeah, like playing with her hair and shit. Yeah. ah And he's trying he's like about to stab her, and then he gets fucking hit by like a 16-wheeler.
01:17:06
Speaker
And it's click clearly like a... Yeah, this is the non-mean. But the effect wasn't great. It was clearly like a dummy. Yeah, I didn't hate it. It's okay, yeah. um So, the instructor run into the car and then get out of the car on the other side.
01:17:22
Speaker
And they're trying to evade Leatherface. And I found this funny. They just throws a wrench at Leatherface. Yeah, like that. like, falls over. Falls over and the chainsaw falls on his leg and cuts his leg open. Like, gashes his leg a little bit. It should have gashed it fucking more, but I get Yeah, he went, Yeah, he's retarded.
01:17:40
Speaker
a
01:17:44
Speaker
Uh, there's another passing by truck that like pulls over and Sally gets in and the not mean is just left behind. Fuck them. Yeah. And, uh, she's in the back of this truck and they drive off and she's like screaming and it slowly turns into like kind of a maniacal laugh of like, I got away and I'm going to live. and Leatherface does his famous chainsaw dance.
01:18:07
Speaker
I thought this dog was not leashed, but it does have a leash and there is an owner walking it. He's fucking throwing his chainsaw around, swirling around. And that is the end of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre number one.
01:18:21
Speaker
Uno, dos, OG. This is the OG. Yeah. Uh...
01:18:29
Speaker
This is a movie that when i I had watched, like I said, during the pandemic and I didn't watch. For the first time? Yeah. And I was like, I'm never going watch a movie again cause i was disturbed. But also, i hadn't seen shit.
01:18:42
Speaker
I mean, think about how many movies I've watched since 2020. That's true. I've seen Inside now more than once. I've seen a Serbian film twice. Yeah, Terrifier is like your favorite franchise.
01:18:54
Speaker
Yeah, I've seen The Sadness. Yeah. Just like I've seen all good now sorts of shit. Yeah. But also to be honest with you I don't want to watch this movie. Like I'm not looking forward to watching it again because the third act is that fucking menacing and disturbing.
01:19:10
Speaker
Yeah. And it's like, that's where like, you know, the whole inspiration from this movie comes from. It was really like one of the first to like do that. We're like, if you, if you watch, like if you just walk into a random theater in 1974, you know, nothing about it.
01:19:26
Speaker
You could think this is like fucking real footage, you know? Yeah. Well, thought it was a fucking true story. Cause I'm i'm a fucking idiot. That's okay. Cause they tell you it is at the beginning.
01:19:37
Speaker
But also, also I just like, how many movies do you watch even today with how desensitized we are that you're like, that's going to fucking stick with me for a long time. The one I just watched. Yeah.
01:19:48
Speaker
And like, it's like that and like a Serbian film. And like, for me, it would be funny games as far as like disturbing.
01:19:56
Speaker
i get and then like I mean, there's only one other one, but it's because the whole genre bothers me. It's like the I spit on your grave because rape revenge rap prevent really doesn't. I don't like that. It doesn't. You're just supposed to not.
01:20:08
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, we're never going to cover a rape revenge movie on this podcast, I don't think. Maybe. just It's just not. I mean, I get that it fits our humor, but that's how much we don't actually like it. Right. It's just not.
01:20:19
Speaker
And like most of them don't have any redeeming qualities. Yeah. No, I mean, the the remake of I Spent Your Grave that kills the end, you could argue are cool, but it's essentially like a Saw movie.
01:20:30
Speaker
Yeah, that's not good. No. um Also, they just like, as far as that movie is concerned, they just go in on her for so fucking long that it's like, bro we get it.
01:20:41
Speaker
You got raped. Like, can we just move on with the storyline here? It just like goes way too far. Yeah, and like Last House on the Left for me is just a bad movie. I just don't like it. i It's uncomfortable on top of being a bad movie. Yeah.
01:20:55
Speaker
You know what also i just thought of that would probably stick with me for a while is that scene in Pink Flamingos. I mean, i say that I say that scene. There's like several scenes. Yeah, which one? I mean, fucking homie getting mama hit.
01:21:09
Speaker
Oh, that was fucking insane. And from his mama. And then the other scene I would say that sticks with me is the guy flaring his asshole. Yeah. Those both just like. Yeah. Her eating shit at the end didn't really bother me as much.
01:21:21
Speaker
No. Cause also like that was like a thing, right? Like we all like people knew that was going to happen too. Yeah. Like you if you heard about the movie or whatever. Yeah. Right. And then we had seen so much at that point when she ate the shit. I was like, okay, I get it.
01:21:34
Speaker
What else could you do? Like just what it is. You gave oral sex on a criteria on Blu-ray. Like, yeah, you know, you get incest. I mean, it's not actually incest, but in the storyline, it's incest. Yeah.
01:21:45
Speaker
She's sucking her son's cock. That's what ah it's taken a lot. I wrote that in my ah American Guinea pig review. I'm like, I'm getting too far. How the fuck did you even get to that?
01:21:55
Speaker
I don't know, man. Yeah, you're going down some fucking radical... I mean, obviously it was fake, but Unearthed Films put it out on Blu-ray. Same people that put out Serbian film. So I was like, I'll check it out.
01:22:07
Speaker
Yeah. ah Check out our one-year anniversary on a Serbian film. That's what the mystery movie is if you didn't listen to it yet. Rough listen. Trigger warning. A rough listen, but honestly a good recording on our end.
01:22:18
Speaker
True. I think we did a good job. If I didn't say it, i'm I was tempted to drop this to a four and a half because I do feel like
01:22:29
Speaker
There's little bit in the middle. it' kind of a fucking drag, but I'm gonna keep it at a five stars. This is an iconic movie. Yeah. ala escape with me For the rest of my life. As far as like horrifying. Like I can go watch any fucking movie and go to and be fine.
01:22:40
Speaker
This movie is like fucking wild to me. Yes. This is a, this goat, goat horror all time. It stands to test the test of time, yeah which has a lot. It's a five star for me as well. One of the greatest horror movies ever made.
01:22:52
Speaker
And that's just, that's just Yeah. That's just something where I'm not going to change my rating ah from when i went when I first got Letterboxd and just marked movies. I was right about this one. Yeah. ah That being said, we'll do a...
Closing and Social Media Information
01:23:07
Speaker
plugy plug So, follow us on Instagram, 2Guys1ScreenPod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to 2Guys1ScreenPod at gmail.com.
01:23:16
Speaker
Follow us on Letterboxd individually. Follow us on YouTube, TikTok. give us a voicemail,
01:23:26
Speaker
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01:23:37
Speaker
Yeah, you want it? You fucking want it? going to give it to you? going to give it to you hard. ah Like I kind of started to say at the beginning of the episode, Dark Knight is supposed to come out tomorrow.
01:23:50
Speaker
We're going to give you Dark Knight on Friday. Yeah, because this was That's just what it's going be. you know, the whole Texas chainsaw day. We kind of had to do it. It was a perfect time.
01:24:01
Speaker
All it was like the candy man episode. We just decided to do candy man. Cause, uh, Tony Todd died. All right. Yeah. legend And candy man's not a great movie.
01:24:12
Speaker
Candy man, not great, but shout to the non means. That's true. Um, so dark night on Friday and get ready. It's a good one. I mean, this is an all time episode. It's an all timer.
01:24:24
Speaker
Uh, And then ah next week we wrap up our, ah like next Tuesday we wrap up our franchise on pirates. Thank God. um Dead Man Tell No Tales.
01:24:36
Speaker
And did that get kind of wild at the end? It did out of nowhere. right Yeah, right. I got to actually still edit that. But either way, until next week, we will see you guys.
01:24:50
Speaker
Toodles. Fuck you, Mark.
01:24:55
Speaker
He's gotta be Kane.