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EP. 76 The Sadness (2021)
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Transcript
Introduction and Humor
00:00:00
Speaker
That a shtick like that, dude! Have you seen my dick? been looking for it.
00:00:07
Speaker
Sir, I'm going to rub one out right here on your counter.
00:00:11
Speaker
We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.
00:00:19
Speaker
I'm rinsing your girl out, bud.
00:00:23
Speaker
That's how identify the Doteca Heat Drop.
00:00:27
Speaker
a
00:00:34
Speaker
Hello, my name is Nick and I have shaft hair.
00:00:38
Speaker
Scrubbing the pot, which is what I call when I jerk myself off.
00:00:44
Speaker
We're just joking. Everything's jokes.
00:00:48
Speaker
Two girls, one cup? No. Two guys, one screen? Yes.
00:00:56
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode 76 of the Two Guys One Screen podcast, a.k.a. the Hemorrhoid Homies, a.k.a. the Poetown Boys, a.k.a. the Diary of Daddies. Bro, I ah had two in one.
00:01:09
Speaker
Yeah, I fucking popped four stool softeners. Shout out to CVS brand. Okay, yeah. And now I'm just, now I'm just, it's just, yeah it's like an oil leak.
Digestive Health Comedy
00:01:20
Speaker
It's just like one of those underwater like oil pipes where they got to go down there with like them fucking high-tech welders.
00:01:28
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, are you suggesting someone need to weld my ass shut? Because I'm trying to have it welded open. house Well, i was ask him i I was asking my sister. I forgot to ask her about if you get paralyzed and you boners, but I did ask her. I was like, is is there something is there something wrong with me?
00:01:44
Speaker
Because I just said eat fiber. and I told I am. I've been eating fiber. I've been taking fiber gummies. I've been eating broccolini. That's not helping. That's a problem because I was going to start taking fiber gummies to try. But I want to up the dosage because the fiber gummies I bought Amazon are four grams, which isn't a lot, right?
00:02:03
Speaker
No. Yeah, so maybe should up the dosage on the fiber. All the reviews that I read are like, don't get the gummies, get like the shit that you mix in water. i'm like, no, because that's going taste nasty. What? Yeah, well, I i bought that, that psyllium husk.
00:02:17
Speaker
I bought that, and it's in a pill. It's in a capsule. been popping three per day. and Nothing. and i i told Well, I told my sister, like it's been a week of of doing that, and I haven't seen any results. She's like, well, you have to commit to it longer than a week.
00:02:29
Speaker
And I was like, okay, I'll keep going. You're a medical professional. Yeah, but I feel like like I was taking, when I had my hospital trip, I was taking, like, Mucinex. Not Mucinex. That will not help your asshole.
00:02:41
Speaker
No, my snidinesses. Your snidinesses?
00:02:48
Speaker
Yeah, your snidinesses. What the fuck's that shit? Mucinex? No, that's what I just said. I keep saying Mucinex. Miralox? Yeah, that stuff. I was taking that. It's disgusting. It's disgusting, and it's overpriced, and it doesn't work.
00:03:01
Speaker
I used to mix in Arnold Palmer. I couldn't get i still wouldn't drink like I would mix it in half and half, and I'm like, this is fucking gross. Yeah, it is gross. It tastes chalky. So basically, the other day...
00:03:13
Speaker
i I text, I Snapchatted you a picture of my hand. Welcome to, welcome to the poop segment of our podcast. Yeah, it's going to get a little, a little gross. Oh fuck. I forgot about that picture. Yeah. i already put it in my fucking mind. You said, well, it was honestly, it was in a chain of three other snaps. It was like sandwiched in between.
00:03:32
Speaker
huh. And it's just, i was just like, oh like what the fuck is this? Sometimes I feel bad. Cause like, I know you're at work, so I don't want to spam you, but. I mean, blood ah bloody i mean what the picture you sent me, I think you should always send me. I was going to send you a picture just now of my me wiping my asshole.
00:03:47
Speaker
Right. So basically, it felt like a normal poop. You know, like the normal, like you feel it down there. You're like, all right, I'm going to go. yeah. Like the normal feeling. Okay. Normal feeling.
00:03:58
Speaker
I have not had a normal poop in probably five years. Yeah, but like the normal, like you feel it, your asshole's a little turtling out, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like your lips puckering. Right. So like I sit and it starts coming out and instantly, I know the, at it's that bad to the point where I know when there's blood.
00:04:17
Speaker
You're like either, you're like either, I have, I either have diarrhea or I'm pissing out my anus. Right? One the two. Because you feel like it's a liquid.
00:04:29
Speaker
It drips. it's kind of like It's kind of like you can tell a difference too between a runny nose and a bloody nose. You go like, yeah, it's blood. Right. Exactly. yeah Blood has like an interesting feel.
Graphic Anecdotes and Medical Humor
00:04:40
Speaker
Consistency.
00:04:40
Speaker
Yeah. yeah I'm like, that's not good, but whatever. That's my life nowadays, right? Yeah. So when I go to wipe, right? I wipe and like,
00:04:52
Speaker
It's hard to explain. It's kind of like you're like you have like a really cheap paper towel and you're trying to clean up a spill. It's just not working. Yeah. That's just what kind of feels like when you bleed out your anus.
00:05:05
Speaker
you So you're just bleeding out your anus and it doesn't stop either? I got lightheaded too. I didn't tell you that. But are you like pouring out blood out of your ass or just like a drip?
00:05:16
Speaker
That day it was leaking. Yeah. Okay. Right? So, like, I wipe and I look at my hand. Yeah. And my hand is just, like, the finger like the thumb index and middle finger.
00:05:29
Speaker
Yeah. just blood. It's like you were fucking fisting a girl or something. Something. Something. Right? Because it was bad. and yeah It was bad. There was a lot of blood. This is crazy to be already having this conversation so far. know.
00:05:42
Speaker
So early in the recording. I know. But I, like said to myself out loud, I was like, that's not good. but no I mean, I've never had blood come out of my ass. And I, yeah, if I, if it did, i'd be like that's not good.
00:05:55
Speaker
Like normally it's like a couple of drops in the water you see. Right. But I've never had it to where it like leaks. I've never had a couple of drops of blood. in my No, I've never been. That's not right. Cause that's not normal. It's not even, you're, you're so used to it now that a couple of drops is just normal for you.
00:06:09
Speaker
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. That's bad. Crazy. That's real bad. Yeah. Yeah. But when it like seeps through the toilet paper, it's, That's a lot of blood. You know? Yeah, but well also, how much toilet paper are you using?
00:06:21
Speaker
Oh, well, it's two-ply, and it's like a couple... Yeah, rap rap front yes feel yeah, got couple of wraps. And it's still seeping through? Still seeping through, right? So that's when I knew there was a problem. Your hand... you remember the beginning this movie when Jim is taking Cat to the hospital, and they drive by the cop in the ambulance, and it has that lady on the stretcher? that body?
00:06:40
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And your hand just looked like that fucking tarp over that lady's body. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. my God. So like I was in there because when I sent you the picture, it kind of like dried on. Right. cause I was in there for a minute. looks Yeah. It looked dry. Yeah, it did.
00:06:54
Speaker
I was in there for a minute just trying to clean up. And then eventually yeah i think I got it to stop. At some point, could tamp on your ass. I might have to.
00:07:05
Speaker
So then that's when I snapped you and I cleaned up or whatever. And I was actually building this chair that I have now my new chair. and like, I was just really lightheaded. Like I had to sit down. I'm like, I might be bleeding out. I don't, I don't know.
00:07:22
Speaker
It'd be crazy if you died from bleeding out of your ass. I mean, it would just feel right to me at this point, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It would just be like blood out of his ass on your tombstone. I would want it.
00:07:34
Speaker
I'd want people to know. Yeah, you fucking want it. Yeah. And every time, like last but when I was in the hospital, they looked at my anus and they're like, we don't see any hemorrhoids.
00:07:45
Speaker
I'm like, yeah, but stick something up there. Like, give me a colonoscopy. I need i think I need one. I think what we're going to have to do is just both get colonoscopies and put on our on a Patreon.
00:07:56
Speaker
We're going to have to do that. Yeah. At this point, I want to go to a doctor be like, fucking stick a camera up my ass and tell me what's going on up there. Cause there's something that's not right. And like, cause like, I can't wait. What are they say? Like you have to get them like every year once you're like 50 or something.
00:08:10
Speaker
I think it's like every five years, every five years. I can't wait that long.
00:08:16
Speaker
to start going earlier than 50 then yeah like yeah what are we at um i might have to start going at 28 you might you might need to start going yeah like tomorrow yeah like tomorrow tomorrow going yeah by the time this comes out maybe you already have gotten one who knows oh man if it if that happens you again it's gonna be a problem i mean if you want to see gerald colinofi footage we'll just put it on patreon at like a hundred dollar tier yeah absolutely just it's just your intestines That's it, right? Or your fucking... I don't know how the human body works. i probably sound fucking retarded saying that right now. I don't either.
00:08:47
Speaker
I sound like a little fucking mahoi-ma-yoi-ma. And don't Google... Don't Google why am I bleeding out of my anus. Because, like, the number one reason is, like, colon cancer. Yeah. Which is why you need to get checked out. Because if you do have that, it's better to catch it now than later.
00:09:01
Speaker
Right. Yeah. I mean, this also has been... I've also been bleeding out of my anus for a couple of years now, so... It might be too late, guys. i mean, that's kind of the craziest fucking thing I've ever heard is that I've been bleeding out of my anus for a couple years now. Yeah.
00:09:16
Speaker
We might have to start a GoFundMe. To fix Gerald's ass. Yeah. So you're, okay. Well, I mean, I do wish you all the best with your asshole, your bloody asshole.
00:09:30
Speaker
Thank you. i'm I don't have a bloody asshole situation, but I just can't shit. Which is just like, it doesn't really matter what I eat. It doesn't matter what I try. i just can't. Shit.
00:09:41
Speaker
It's just not happening. I just, it's yeah, my shit, my shit ain't fucking it. I don't know. It's just like, it's just not. Maybe that's what you need. Maybe we need someone to fuck it.
00:09:52
Speaker
To fuck my ass? Yeah, loosen it. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. Loosen things. All right. I was, at well, I did ask my sister. I like, do I need an enema? And she's like, probably not. And I was like, probably not.
00:10:03
Speaker
I was like, do you want to look up there? i didn't say that. Yeah, yeah. yeah but Right. No, I didn't say that. Yeah. But honestly. You can give yourself an enema, right? Yeah, you can buy them online and just fucking it in your shower. It's kind of like, you know, when you have like a. i But like, I don't want to get fucking shit water all over my tub. what mean?
00:10:20
Speaker
Why? It's the tub. You clean it anyway. Yeah, but it's my shit. yeah but yeah I just, I just, and I just envision, like I envision myself giving myself an enema and then shit just goes down my thigh, like down my calf. Like I'm just covered in shit.
00:10:34
Speaker
Right. But then you're in the shower already. That's just like, that's just so fucking vile to me that I'd rather go to like a doctor's office and just have them do it there where they can fucking deal with it. Well, they stick a tube up there and like suck it out anyway. Right.
00:10:46
Speaker
That's what I, yeah, that's what I need. Yeah. I don't. Yeah. I mean, who's going to suck the tube here? i I don't know. have it loop back up to my mouth. ah
00:10:58
Speaker
Like a straw. Yeah, it's like those yeah people used to have at like baseball games stuff. It's like the hound with the two beers and the straws run to your mouth. It should run into my asshole. Oh my God. ah Speaking of other vile things, I did just randomly, you
Horror Movie Mentions
00:11:12
Speaker
probably got an email notification this past week.
00:11:14
Speaker
I did just log into your shutter and I just started watching Human Centipede 2. Oh, yeah? I don't know why. i just... Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's... Go vote for that in a horror bracket. Yeah, because now you're, like, seeing it Yeah, now I'm, like, watching it, and that fucking guy with the buggy eyes is really fucking weird. That's the main guy, dude.
00:11:32
Speaker
Like, the main guy? Yeah, he's a fucking freak. Did jerk off with sandpaper yet? Yeah, I wasn't going to say that because didn't want to spoil it. But, yeah, I did. I did see that, and it was fucking wild. I told you, bro.
00:11:43
Speaker
You think you bleed from that? Yes. Yeah. Even if it's like the lowest grit possible. No, I'm just saying, cause like, like the, the magic eraser, like Mr. Clean, whatever it is, those, those are technically, that's like technically sand, like low grit sandpaper.
00:11:58
Speaker
Not that I would jerk off with magic eraser. Mr. Clean, like, yeah, just bust on his ball head, know? Yeah, his fucking ball head, yeah. I don't know. But anyways, if you jerk off with sandpaper or can't shit, let us know.
00:12:11
Speaker
Let us know. Actually, you know what? I don't, <unk>t need to know if you jerk off with sandpaper because you probably shouldn't listen to this podcast. Send us a picture post-jerk of what your cock looks like. You're just fucking shredded meat.
00:12:23
Speaker
See, now that I might be interested in. Yeah, you're just... like We just want to see some fucking like straight carnage. Yeah, it's like... It's like after you paint a fucking door or something, you gotta sand it down, you know?
00:12:34
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, you just got... Yeah, right. All right, well, today...
Movie Review of 'The Sadness'
00:12:39
Speaker
In spirit of all the vile things we just spoke about, we are reviewing a movie called The Sadness from 2021. This is a fucking vile movie.
00:12:47
Speaker
This might be... I think this is our first Shudder exclusive. Yeah. ah This is... I think also... Don't want to say that? This is our first zombie movie, I'm pretty sure.
00:13:01
Speaker
Like, straight-up zombies? Is it zombie, though? I guess not. It's like Resident Evil. But those are classified as zombies, but it's a disease.
00:13:13
Speaker
When I think zombies, I think like motherfuckers rising from the grave. They're fucking dead. Yeah. Not people that rape people. Yeah. And they ball head. Yeah. Yeah. I think like the Living Dead.
00:13:24
Speaker
Yeah. It's a great movie. But what is it in Train to Busan? Are they zombies or is it a virus? I don't remember. haven't seen in a few years. Same. But that's in the we're doing that this year, right?
00:13:36
Speaker
Yeah. It's on the list.
00:13:39
Speaker
We'll call them zombies because they're pretty pretty much zombies. They're like coherent zombies. It's not the schedule, so I don't know. We're going to have to rework this. Is it in a bracket?
00:13:51
Speaker
No, I'm pretty sure. I thought we confirmed it.
00:13:56
Speaker
I might just be a little fucking retarded. That just could be a thing, too. Do you want to do a plug it in, plug in while figure this out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Plug it in, plug it in. So follow us on Instagram, 2Guys1ScreenPod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to 2Guys1ScreenPod at gmail.com.
00:14:15
Speaker
Puts you in the upper echelon of movie reviews. ah Unless you send us a voicemail at 508-8-5-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8 we did get two voicemails but i'm gonna fucking tease you until the next recording okay and then ah your shit goes straight to With a voice.
00:14:37
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, this is okay. It's a request. No, no. Just keep, just keep going. It's funny. And I want to do something with it and you're going to be okay with it. And that's fine.
00:14:48
Speaker
Okay. ah Follow us on YouTube. Tick tock.
00:14:56
Speaker
Is that other one? YouTube, TikTok. You said Instagram already. We don't have Twitter. No Twitter. <unk> like ah Follow us all in each individually on Letterboxd. I want you to box my box.
00:15:11
Speaker
Yeah. Go listen to our physical media podcast. Yeah. You want it? Yeah, where we talk about this very movie. Yeah, we do. We do. Yeah.
00:15:21
Speaker
And leave us a like, comment. It's good for the algorithm, so I hear. Tell your friends. Yeah, tell your friends. We know there's about 35 of y'all that listen to this podcast, so if you all tell a friend, you've doubled our fan base.
00:15:35
Speaker
that's That's it, you know? And if they can't handle Brian, tell your friends. Yeah, Brian, tell... I'm not going to name drop your brother like that. Never mind. Hmm. um What was really funny is the other day at my job, we were talking about...
00:15:50
Speaker
There's these two fucking old geezers that like wouldn't get up and we need to like see the table there. ah And i was like, look, just put them in the blacklist. They can't come back. And then my one of the front of the house managers goes, yeah, it's like, I know what you mean. It's like when I opened my restaurant, he goes, so-and-so not allowed in the restaurant. I just fucking name, like name dropped one of his ex-girlfriends, but didn't, wasn't like, yeah, actually not allowed. He was like fucking Sarah Connor, not allowed. Like just name dropped her. Wow.
00:16:17
Speaker
Sarah Connor from Terminator. It's not a real fucking person. So good luck. Yeah. Yeah. yeah ah I was like, it's just fucking crazy. that Like we're in a restaurant and you're just like, yeah, so-and-so she ain't coming. She ain't coming.
00:16:30
Speaker
But and all that being said, we digress to the sadness. Release 2021. Do you think this had even a theatrical or went right to streaming?
00:16:41
Speaker
I think, well, since it's a shutter exclusive, I'm pretty sure straight streaming. It's directed by Rob Jabaz, which is what kind of fucking name is that? Yeah, but he's not.
00:16:53
Speaker
He looks like he should be an Imperium. Yeah, but he's literally Canadian directing a Taiwanese movie. Yeah, he also is wearing a Stranger Things shirt. So he's kind of a loser.
00:17:04
Speaker
Yeah, you're kind of just gay. Yeah, i don't like Stranger Things. I have nothing to I've never actually even seen Stranger Things. He's like, that's your fucking headshot. You're wearing a fucking graphic tee. I don't know I mean, he's just one of the boys.
00:17:17
Speaker
um't know why I'm shitting on mini a great movie. I don't know why I'm giving him so much shit for it, but, but don't you think that's a little strange? Like you think he speaks Mandarin? Do I think he speaks Mandarin? I don't think he speaks Mandarin. No.
00:17:31
Speaker
Then how's he communicating? He's got a translator telling all the actors. Maybe. I mean, there there was like extras. We could have we could' have watched it before doing the recording, but I didn't do i didn't watch it.
00:17:43
Speaker
Because I know one thing in Mandarin. That's it. What do you know? Sheesh. What does that mean? Thank you. Oh, the more you know. Well, he hasn't directed anything else of note besides this movie.
00:17:57
Speaker
ah So we'll get to the cast. We have Regina Lee, who plays Cat. Let me tell you. Rinse her out.
00:18:08
Speaker
This bitch can get my fucking trouser snake, all right? That's it. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. And I mean, i don't know the rest of these movies, but I'm just going watch them all see how hot she is. I mean, yeah. She's probably in a Taiwanese movies.
00:18:21
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, she probably is. Probably makes sense. Next, we got... You been to Taiwan or nah? I was in the airport. Okay. i was I had a connecting flight, so I was there for about five minutes.
00:18:35
Speaker
Because my flight to for like that was landing in Taiwan was delayed. Taiwan. And then I had to run from like one gate to one gate, and I was in Taiwan for about five minutes. and I got on a plane and left again to come back here to the United States of America.
00:18:49
Speaker
Shout out to Futterman. Yeah, and I'm sorry that you didn't get to spend time in Taiwan. That's what it is. Next, we got Barantz.
00:19:01
Speaker
He's Jim. He's kind of a piece. Yeah. Yeah, he is. I was like, damn, this guy's... This guy's shredded. he's fucking Yeah, he's fucking jacked.
00:19:12
Speaker
I mean, most Asians are like... They don't crack. They don't look like that, though. No, they don't. They're normally like really skinny, but like not built like a fucking. I mean, he was built like a wide receiver, dude. Yeah. he was Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:27
Speaker
I want to see his fucking piece. It's probably small, though, right? He's Asian. yeah i don't know. You think he's you think it's bigger, though? Like that kid got different DNA. Yeah, you're probably right. Maybe he's not like just straight Taiwanese. He got some white mixed in or something.
00:19:41
Speaker
Or something black. Not black. I don't know. Could be. You also can tell that like this was like directed by ah ah white guy because his name's fucking Jim. Yeah, Jim and Cat.
00:19:53
Speaker
Jim, Cat, and then the next one, Molly. Like... Yeah, and her in my notes is just Fat Bitch, which I know is like little insensitive. It's a rut row, but we get to say the C word in this movie.
00:20:05
Speaker
We get to see it. get to say it. It is just thrown around. She plays, well, her name is Ying Ru Chen, and she plays Molly, and she's just not fucking it. Her face, if you've ever seen in Squid Games, she looks like the fucking doll from Red Light, Green Light.
00:20:22
Speaker
That's fair. Right? Yeah, she's a big girl too. ah Next we got Zhu Chang Wang. He plays the businessman. I called him old man or at one point old perv.
00:20:36
Speaker
ah He's a perv. ah To be fair, everybody gets that gets the virus is a perv. That's fair. I ain't fucking him, especially in this movie. No. He ain't fucking it.
00:20:48
Speaker
don't think anybody else I am fucking this He ain't fucking it. I don't really think there's much of anybody else of note. and I don't want to shout out two more people. Lon Wei Huak Tua.
00:21:00
Speaker
who He plays Dr. Alan Wong. That's the most generic name I've ever heard. Yeah, it is. You're like oh you're like an an American director or something. or like Your name's Alan Wong just because you're Asian.
00:21:18
Speaker
Yeah, you're Ching Chong. That's your name. That's fucking crazy. ah We also got Ralph Chu who plays Mr. Lin. That might even be more generic. Yeah, just Mr. Lin.
00:21:29
Speaker
like He's the neighbor. Both those guys aren't getting fucked. No. He ain't fucking it. I guess Liu Gang, Huang, Kevin...
00:21:41
Speaker
Kevin does deserve a shout out, but he looks like he's missing a chromosome. Absolutely. And he's kind of... He does act like a Mahoney Mnoy in this movie. he I mean, he like... he like Yeah.
00:21:57
Speaker
There's just times where he's just dangerous like this. Yeah, or like... Yeah, we'll get into it when it happens. but He's just kind of a fucking Mahoma Yoneman. is Do you think that this movie was made?
00:22:11
Speaker
it was i mean, it was made during the pandemic. And there's a lot of references. References. you think it was just coincidence?
00:22:23
Speaker
Or do I think they were brewing the fucking virus over there? No. not No, because 2021 was like tail end, right? Yeah. Well, I mean, a lot of movies, they like started production in 2019, right? And then yeah in 2020, it got shut down.
00:22:42
Speaker
ah And then they... yeah i don't know. I mean, I think this is... was to the it If it wasn't, the timing was perfect. It was perfect. You're right. um And if you think if you think that I will not...
00:22:56
Speaker
and I'm going to miss an opportunity to shit on when evil lurks. Yeah. Another thing fucking coming because guess what I want to talk about right now. This movie's budget was in the range of two to three million dollars.
00:23:10
Speaker
When evil lurks budget five million dollars. Some would say almost double. And guess what looks better?
00:23:22
Speaker
This movie is 1,000%. This movie is what it I argue is one of the goriest films that I've ever seen in my life. Like, in every movie that I've seen, it's, like, one of the goriest movies ever. This, for me, like, rivals inside. Because, like, you you, as you've been mentioning, have seen some stuff that's deeper down the iceberg than I have.
00:23:43
Speaker
Mm-hmm. But as far as my iceberg is concerned, this shit is pretty fucking gory. Yeah. And like the generic ah iceberg, this isn't even on there.
00:23:54
Speaker
Like the big one that went around the internet. Oh, no, it's not. It's not even on there. Was it was that thing made before we came out? Maybe. There's possibility. Yeah. Yeah, I think i think a lot of that yeah a lot of the YouTubers were making the videos during COVID. so There you go.
00:24:11
Speaker
They didn't have anything else to do. They're like, let's watch a bunch of fucked up movies. I just think that this the use of gore here is way better and looks way better.
00:24:22
Speaker
Granted, i watched it on a 4K disc. sure you know uh looks way fucking better looks way cooler wait i was so surprised anything that when evil lurks us and you know what every fucking review is for this movie that that has a poor rating it's just shock value gore with for no reason sure about that so so so you know agree to disagree but also i just don't it's just so it's just the hypocrisy is fucking wild Yeah, the only thing that looked good in When Evil Lurks is like the guy in the beginning.
00:24:53
Speaker
The fucking blob, right? Yeah. yeah Yeah. So i just want um I just want to say again, When Evil Lurks, fuck that movie. Fuck you, Mark. ah Yeah, Mark likes that movie.
00:25:04
Speaker
Yeah. i'd Not fuck you if you like When Evil Lurks. Just fuck you if you rate that movie highly and then rate movie poorly because you think it's just shock value kills. ah You're just wrong and a hypocrite. And you need to look in the mirror and address that.
00:25:17
Speaker
Wow. can tell him Yeah, it's just that's just how I feel. And any movie that has any gore and people shit on for shock value, I'm always going to compare to when evil lurks and it's never to stop.
00:25:30
Speaker
ah Just wait for a Terrifier 3 full scene by scene in December. Yeah, Christmas time. going fucking go off again. I'm not shocked. just Just, yeah. i just Just fuck you for that, okay? Not you. Just, you know.
00:25:46
Speaker
No, because I literally warned you, though. was like, yo, don't watch this movie. It's overhyped. It's trash. Yeah. Yeah, and I mean, i and It's just... Like I said, the I don't think the one evil lurks is like, I give it a two and a half. It's not like bad. Like it's like a horrible movie. I just think the were response to that movie versus response of like movies of a similar concept is fucking wild and you're all fucking hypocrites for it.
00:26:15
Speaker
Yeah, but I did... If you like When Evil Lurks and you like this movie, I have no beef with you. But if you don't like this movie because it's senseless gore and you like When Evil Lurks, respectfully, you're a fucking Mahoyman Yoinman.
00:26:27
Speaker
It's true. But I did redeem myself because I also watched this movie and i was like, yo, you need to see this now. This is a movie you put me onto, 100%. Yeah. Yeah.
00:26:38
Speaker
So props to you for that. Because I've put you onto some stinkers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've also just put me on, you know i mean? Just fucking erect. Oh, sure. Like, yeah, exactly. Just fucking cock hitting the table. My cock's little too small. Right. Well, that was my thumb.
00:26:54
Speaker
Anyways, if you're new to this podcast, we do a scene by scene review. Uh, And that's what we're going right now. This is not a movie. the scene but We're going to have a good time with the scene by scene, obviously. But this this is not a movie ah that you should just sit here and listen to us like tell you what happens. You should go fucking watch it.
00:27:11
Speaker
If you like gore and you like blood, you should go fucking watch it. Yeah, but if you don't... If you don't, maybe just stay here. I was going to say if you don't like rape. No one should like rape, okay?
00:27:23
Speaker
But do you think – okay, do you think the rape scenes in this movie are as bad as something of like – I spit on your grave? No. Yeah, no. I mean there are – you do see a couple people get raped, but it's not like – not It's not on screen, really.
00:27:42
Speaker
No, it's it's more assumed than anything. The sex that is on screen is consensual.
00:27:54
Speaker
Yes, and I also think that the rape in... Even the censored version of a Serbian film is way more disturbing. Even the censored version than anything that happened in this movie. I agree. ah So anyways, here we are. Let's fucking get into it.
Movie Scene Analysis and Chaos
00:28:09
Speaker
ah The film opens with Jim and Kat. They're like, it's so crazy how fast we go from zero to a hundred. Cause like it just opens and they're just like laying in bed cuddling. like, they're going fuck right now. we can see some tit.
00:28:21
Speaker
They don't. You get a little tease. ah And it's just like a normal day. ah Her alarm goes off and she has to go to work. And she was planning a trip to go with Jim to Kenting in Taiwan.
00:28:38
Speaker
And he made plans for a job. Uh, it's kind of hard to talk about this cause literally none of it fucking matters. It's just not gonna, it's just not gonna fucking matter. But she's like so mad at him, but like respectfully he is going for a job, you know, like he's not like hanging out with the boys. Like he was like, I need money.
00:28:57
Speaker
It's true. Like, yeah, but she works at a hospital, right? but is it a hard Yeah. Also she was, that well, she did say that. And then later in the film was like, where's the hospital? And it's like, bitch, don't you work at the hospital?
00:29:08
Speaker
Yeah. Right. I don't. Okay. um So, yeah, he got recruited by some German ad agency ah for good money. It's probably some Nazi movie, right? Yeah.
00:29:20
Speaker
Well, I mean, China was getting fucked in the ass by the Japanese during World War two so might not be Nazi. But it might be communist. Oh, for sure communist, right? It's got to be communist.
00:29:34
Speaker
Please? That's got to be... That's got be Kane! Uh...
00:29:45
Speaker
what is Is that a term? Is that a term that I combine? I'm just going to play i'm trying to play the run row just in case. I think red book. Like the red books. Because Mao had the little red books.
00:29:57
Speaker
I think I combined like a Hispanic slur with ah with communists. ah Yeah, I mean, you're yeah, okay. We're going to just move on. Yeah, we might cut that. Yeah. We should, just in case. Yeah, justin we're just going to bleep it just in case because we don't actually know what we said.
00:30:12
Speaker
have no idea what that even means. No. ah Brian, look it up for us because he'll tell you what he said. Yeah, fucking never... Yeah, you fucking...
00:30:25
Speaker
You sure you want to come on this, bro? Like, you're fucking funny. It's going to be fun have you on this podcast, Brian. Yeah.
00:30:39
Speaker
yeah Yeah, what do you think? That's fucking crazy. Right. um So she goes in the bathroom and closes the door and he like comes door. He's like, baby, I'm sorry.
00:30:51
Speaker
And then he asked to eat some food that was like her leftovers. She's like, you can eat it. Not my cooter, but you can eat this food. I don't know what it was. It looked like some big-ass dumpling thing, but it looked good. It looked like a steamed bun, if I had to make an educated guess.
00:31:05
Speaker
We follow Jim to the kitchen, and he's eating this dumpling, and he's watching a YouTube video about the Alvin virus. And this doctor, Alan Wong, is being interviewed by another guy.
00:31:19
Speaker
And the guy who was interviewing him is just is just like, yeah, it's just not – I don't believe you. You're just – it's not that bad. There's been no deaths. And also you're putting this out during the year of an election. It's like that's – he's just kind of like alluding to this is a conspiracy.
00:31:36
Speaker
Wow. Sounds similar. Yeah, it does. Yeah. So he goes to the balcony, Jim goes to his own balcony and he sees a lady's thing on the roof and she turns around and her, she's wearing like a white nightgown.
00:31:48
Speaker
She's covered in blood. Like she, it's either that time of the month or she had a bad day. Yeah. I mean, if it's that time month, how is it all the way up to her? Like her fucking tits. It's just like, I don't know, bro. It might be I don't know how menopause works, but it might've been her last one ever. And it might just got everything out.
00:32:04
Speaker
Yeah. the Yeah. The last hurrah. Right. Yeah. Uh, so cat comes out and I kind of scared him. sick I'm ready to leave. And apparently she didn't see the lady standing outside.
00:32:15
Speaker
um He goes look back outside and she's not there. Then we meet their neighbor out on the balcony, Mr. Lin, and he comes out to say hello. hello And they're like, are you sick?
00:32:27
Speaker
He's like, I just got a cold. I fuck with this guy. Do you? Yeah. right He's nice. He gives them fucking basil. Yeah, but like, okay. You know?
00:32:38
Speaker
ah He also thinks the pandemic and the virus is all a hoax. And like you said, he gives them some of his basil because he has extra. Jim leaves his phone home to charge it. It's only at 3%. That's sus. so why are you waking up and your phone's at 3%?
00:32:53
Speaker
Right? That's fucking sus. Yeah. but That's your go-to time to charge it, bud. Yeah. So he takes Cat to work, and as they're going on his little motorbike, they see a guy being arrested.
00:33:07
Speaker
And like we about at beginning of the episode, a body laying on a tarp. And it's just a body laying on a stretcher covered by a tarp. I don't the fuck I just said. It's all right. It's so all blood. It was just covered in blood like Gerald's asshole.
00:33:20
Speaker
Yeah. drops haven't pooped since. I pooped 40 minutes ago. I'll let you all know. Next time I poop, you'll get an update. you think all Asians ride moped?
00:33:36
Speaker
Moped? Moped? Moped? no i mean i When I was in Singapore, didn't all ride moped, but it's definitely popular. Right? because like and Over here in like the States, is like the fucking the electric scooter is the popular thing, not the fucking moped. I feel like that was like a big thing in California. it's just like taking over.
00:33:54
Speaker
Yeah. He drops Kat off, offers to make dinner for her, and then he leaves. And when he goes back by the cop car, it looks like abandoned. Like the doors just open and no one's there.
00:34:06
Speaker
And he pulls up this little restaurant, Deli John, ah to get ah Brian coffee. Coffee Brian. Just black. Just black. Straight up fucking black.
00:34:19
Speaker
Yo, you ever watch Blacked Raw? I've watched Blacked. I don't know if i've watched Blacked Raw or not. but they go black They go fucking ham on her. Yeah. yeah it's yeah Wow. I could see Brian on it.
00:34:33
Speaker
Like Brian like the porn star? Yeah. That's pretty sick. He's probably got meat. Crazy meat, bro. We've talked about Brian a lot this episode. but be Black. I don't know. Black. We're kidding. Definitely kidding.
00:34:49
Speaker
ah and he knows I'm kidding, so it's fine. So he has to fucking wait for his coffee for some reason because the person in front of him ordering food. Bro, it's just black coffee. Just pour it in a cup and give it to him.
00:35:00
Speaker
Yeah, just pour it fucking cup, you stupid fuck. ah And then... Uh, the lady from the roof walks in, in like slow motion almost. And this guy walks over and he's like, granny, like she never related. Uh, and when she turns around, she's bugging. She's fucked up.
00:35:17
Speaker
Her eyes are all like fucking swollen shit. She off the perk. She looks like the perk. She looked like the, she looks like the fucking, she looks like Benedict Wong in weapons. Honestly, it is what she looked like.
00:35:28
Speaker
But this movie came out like three years before. So they probably, it's not like they copied weapons, weapons. Whippets. ah And she decides to just fucking dump the cashier's head ah with a fire basket.
00:35:41
Speaker
And you see his skin melt off his face and she just like pulls his cheek just off. You think that's realistic? Do I think you could pull somebody's skin off with fryer oil? oil Yeah.
00:35:53
Speaker
Probably, right? It's like, what, 300 and some degrees? They're typically set to 350, yeah. But some restaurants, depending where you go, have one at 350 and one at like 375. Ooh.
00:36:04
Speaker
But from my experience with skin peeling off, yeah, you could. Yeah. Yeah, you could. You definitely could. And it like blisters immediately. Oh, yeah. Yeah. that's That checks out. Third degree. no this guy i don't even This isn't even third degree. like This is death.
00:36:20
Speaker
ah The guy is just... It's it's obviously ah made like exaggerated for like a horror movie. But you could like peel somebody's skin off their face if you fucking dump hot oil on them.
00:36:31
Speaker
Yeah, it's off like the spray. For sure. you need They need to sponsor us. Give us a fucking sponsor. We also might have another sponsor. That's a joke. I'm kidding. I'll talk to you about it after.
00:36:43
Speaker
I got hyped for a second. No, it's just a stupid fucking joke. Just bit. All right. She... then... Her grandson then stabs this fucking random guy in the restaurant to death.
00:36:58
Speaker
And then ah the this lady starts to walk towards Jim. And she gets fucking hit by the ah car. And the driver in the car is also infected. ah We then see a lady just throw herself off a building. And just belly flops onto the pavement.
00:37:14
Speaker
I mean, that's the way to go. This did look CGI. But it's fine. Yeah, it's, you know. Yeah, she definitely fucking smushed herself. ah but it's what it is. Oh yeah. Uh, Jim gets chased by three infected people and he runs home and obviously just chugs a beer. It's the first thing you should do.
00:37:35
Speaker
I mean, he's had a rough day so far. Yeah. I mean, he woke up and then, yeah, uh, he tries to call cat, uh, but she doesn't answer. And he turns on the TV to see a civil emergency screen on most channels besides hitting this weird cartoon of the big bad wolf.
00:37:53
Speaker
Yeah, but then the big bad wolf proceeds to like start fucking these people. they were yeah like He had them like stacked up. He was fucking them. It was crazy. i was like, what are watching? Just out in the background. It's fucking wild. It's like Adult Swim.
00:38:07
Speaker
ah He hears an announcement that all men must report to the district office to have their dicks cut off and fed to the dogs. ah And then all the ladies will just get fucked by aforementioned dogs.
00:38:21
Speaker
We don't have to put them This is just what the guy said in China. Right. I mean, the basically, the virus turns you into a sex fiend who kills people.
00:38:33
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, they're already eating dogs over there, so why not fuck them too, right? Absolutely. Right? Yeah. I mean, baste the turkey before you eat it, right? like yeah Exactly, yeah. Yeah.
00:38:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:47
Speaker
He tries to text Kat some more and we see his neighbor, Mr. Lynn, sneaking up behind him and he goes to attack him with these shears and he cuts jim two of Jim's fingers off.
00:39:00
Speaker
Yeah, because this guy's a fucking botanist. He got fucking contaminated. um And then he pops one of these fingers right in his mouth. Why not? I mean, man's got to eat.
00:39:12
Speaker
He then spits it into Jim's fish tank.
00:39:18
Speaker
and says that he'll use Jim's fingers to finger girlfriend for him. I mean, crazy. I'll do it fucking... For free. For free, dude. Jim knocks out Mr. Lin with a toaster. He like fucking swung it with some fucking... Yeah, he is. He grabbed it by the cord. Yeah. Wham, was like a nunchuck.
00:39:38
Speaker
He fucking whipped that shit. Uh...
00:39:43
Speaker
The you fucking kit cat is just aggressively flicking her shit with Jim's fucking amputated finger. oh That's fucking gross. ah You use it like a fucking guitar pick.
00:39:54
Speaker
yeah
00:39:58
Speaker
so Damn, she played Stairway to Heaven over there. Damn, girl. You strumming, bitch. but ah He leaves and we see ah Mr. Lund start to get up as Jim leaves.
00:40:13
Speaker
And then Jim comes across this guy getting attacked. And they break his fucking arm. ah So Jim goes to his bike. They break this guise. just getting attacked. Jim goes to his bike.
00:40:24
Speaker
Bike! And when he turns his bike on, it kind of alerts the infected. um And they all start chasing him. There's a group from there just sitting there just staring at a body for a while. Isn't that like rule number one? Like all the zombie movies?
00:40:38
Speaker
They can hear really well. Yeah, don't make sound because they're just going to attract the horde. Yeah, that's why i feel like this is like kind of a zombie movie-ish. Adjacent. I know they're not dead. right Adjacent. It's the closest thing we've gotten to it so far.
00:40:50
Speaker
Closest zombie movie we've reviewed? Yeah. Well, allegedly we we're going to review because I did look. We're going to review Return the Living Dead and Train to Busan is not on the list.
00:41:00
Speaker
Re-animator is like... Re-animator zombies?
00:41:06
Speaker
Yeah. No, I mean, no, I mean, by the definition of zombie, it is. Yeah, it definitely is. um
00:41:15
Speaker
So he's getting chased on the street and there was actually an infected cop that starts shooting. He shoots his mirrors out. That is its kind of crazy.
00:41:25
Speaker
Then the middle of the chase, it just cuts to black. And we cut to Kat, who's getting blacked. No, she's not getting blacked. Ain't no black people in Taiwan. I can almost guarantee it. Absolutely not.
00:41:37
Speaker
um She's getting on subway, and there's this older man next to her. And he's like, hey, how you done? she's He's like, what you reading, girl? you And she don't want to talk to him. And for some reason, I thought in this movie, she he, like, grabs her thigh, but it doesn't happen. Like, her tits just doesn't happen.
00:41:53
Speaker
You're reading smut, aren't you, filthy fuck? Yeah.
00:41:57
Speaker
But she don't want talk to him. And then ah he's like, well, I've seen you on the train a lot. And I want to tell you, you're fucking beautiful, which I mean, he's right. She's a fucking piece. Yeah. I mean, um that's the thing about Asians, though, right?
00:42:10
Speaker
Their face is amazing. They got nothing else. I don't know. I'm OK with it. Yeah, right? i just I've already said in this podcast, I like women that kind of look like dudes. I'm pretty sure i' gay. Yeah, but she doesn't look like a dude. She's like the definition of hot Asian. But she's built like a skinny kid.
00:42:27
Speaker
Yeah. But she's a piece. And as a skinny kid. Yeah, and Jake doesn't like dating Asians. Are there a dated one? so That might be a lie. Well, Jake swipes the left on Bumble on bumbleon Asians.
00:42:41
Speaker
that's That's fucked up. Yeah. You gotta swipe right, right? Because they're cute. He likes skinny women. What are we talking about? loves a skinny bitch. What are we talking about? I don't know.
00:42:54
Speaker
um
00:42:57
Speaker
So then this old man touches her hand and asks where she works. And she threatens to report someone for sexual harassment. And he's like, what? i fucking ask where you work and it's sexual harassment? ah You fucking kidding me?
00:43:09
Speaker
This man got fucking me too'd. Yeah. um The subway stops and some passengers board and Kat offers her seat to what's your fucking name?
00:43:21
Speaker
Mindy. Molly. Molly. ah And there's a passenger just standing there wearing sunglasses. And it's happened with a lot of the infected. They shed a tear and then go fucking berserk.
00:43:35
Speaker
And he stands, he stabs this random fucking guy in the back. And then stabs another guy in the stomach. And there's just blood. I mean, more blood than you'd ever expect to come out of a fucking orifice.
00:43:47
Speaker
Definitely unrealistic amounts of blood, but I'm here for it because it looks so good. ah agree like most I feel like most movies don't get the color right.
00:43:58
Speaker
It's like too bright. Yeah, this this is... Yeah, also... but That's also the thing. If it's, like, CGI blood, it looks like that fake red. And this was, like, definitely you could not... They used some kind of liquid to do this.
00:44:11
Speaker
Absolutely. It was computer-generated. Probably some kind of syrup, if I had to guess. Mmm. Like, syrup. Corn syrup mixed with, like, red dye.
00:44:22
Speaker
Maybe. Because they have it in their mouth. That's what I always wonder, right? If, like, you're if like the blood's running into your mouth, you want it to be, like, non-toxic. Yeah, I mean, that makes sense.
00:44:34
Speaker
Uh, so this guy just goes berserk and he just starts stabbing everybody. And he stabbed this one guy in the neck and the blood spur is like the fucking blood that comes out of elevator in the shining. It's like yeah so much fucking blood. Insane.
00:44:47
Speaker
um some passengers are able to restrain this guy out of the ground. Um,
00:44:54
Speaker
And then like everyone in the bus just filming it which is wild. i mean, what else are you going do, right? They're they're mid mid-flight. don't know, make a call. You don't like not have service on a train. You can call people on the subway.
00:45:09
Speaker
you know? Exactly. like Yeah. come couple Maybe they just need to... they they You know why they didn't ah ask for help? Why? There wasn't a fucking bell to gong. Oh.
00:45:22
Speaker
Like, goddammit, someone called Jackie Chan. Dong, dong, dong, dong.
00:45:29
Speaker
rat metal yeah just There's probably like two statues of those like weird like giant like lion looking things. You know I mean. Two giant lion looking things?
00:45:39
Speaker
Yeah, they're probably dragons, but like kind of like the dragons that they do in like the... Yeah, they didn't reboot his belly before I left for good luck. Right, that's what happened. He's pissed. ah So anyways...
00:45:55
Speaker
Some passengers bored. remember that guy from the cafe who was like, Granny. That guy gets on and just starts stabbing people. He is here. And then a bunch of infected just start going crazy. He's lady eating this guy's neck.
00:46:07
Speaker
And then you see this fat guy getting his ankle ate by some fucking infected dude. um And the old man stabs Molly through the ah through the eye with an umbrella. I mean, ah Mary Poppins, y'all.
00:46:21
Speaker
Right next to fucking Kat. And she's like, oh, he's like, shut the fuck up, you filthy cunt. Wild. Wild. wild um We do also see some, unfortunately, you see a little bit of rape here, and it is a guy on guy. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, it was um bye I'm happy that it is. Diversity.
00:46:44
Speaker
You know? Because, like, I'm really sick and tired of, like, just seeing women raped, you know? Yeah. Like, I'm not a feminist because, you know, fuck women at the same time, but... rabbi
00:46:56
Speaker
Yeah, it's nice to Yeah, like how do you fucking like it? Yeah, you don't. know you don't. And it's like everybody wants, oh, like we need to have like more inclusion with gays. How about in fucking rape scenes?
00:47:08
Speaker
We have more gays. Absolutely. That's what fucking talking about. That's what fucking talking about. More men getting raped. now yeah I mean, realistically, horror is like probably one of the only movie genres where you're going get rape, to be honest.
00:47:22
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, where else are you going to rape? Well, I will say Showgirls is a rape scene that's fucking crazy. And that's not horror. But, I mean, there's always exceptions to the rule. And Law & Order.
00:47:34
Speaker
how But how bad do they show rape in Law & Order? It mostly pans away. Yeah. You should kind of just hear the screams. Or yeah whatever. or has Has Law & Order, had there they've been on for, what, 40-something seasons? 38 seasons? Yeah, fucking long. But it is something crazy like that, right? Yeah, it is.
00:47:52
Speaker
Have they ever had a gay rape?
00:47:56
Speaker
Man, not that I can remember. Yeah, like, man, do better. ratwell I don't know. If anybody out there has a gay rape movie suggestion, let us know. Yeah, I mean, it's probably going be hard to watch, but that's what that's what it's about. I mean, i don't want i mean i don't want like an I spit on your grave type. I mean, something like this where like you see a dude getting fucked and it just kind of goes away.
00:48:18
Speaker
I mean, they did that Serbian film. Right, we check out our episode. Yeah. We've done whole episode in that movie. That's thing. Like, I spit on your grief. Like, you're looking into our eyes. I'm like, I don't, you know? And it goes on way too long.
00:48:32
Speaker
Yeah. Way too long. Way too fucking long. Yeah, I agree you. So this guy's getting raped. And then... What a casual... Casual transition. yeah He's getting fucking buttfucked. He's getting pounded in his ass. And to be honest, there's probably somebody on the other side eating his fucking face or like doing something nice to him. They're not being like, oh, honey, you can get through this. It's probably not a nice thing.
00:48:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:56
Speaker
We might have to just put all that not in the episode. I don't know. That's fuck that's fucking crazy what we just said. Oh, no. It's crazy. Rape is sensitive. like there are There are people out there who don't even say rape anymore. i just say grape.
00:49:08
Speaker
Yeah, I know. um Don't put it in your movie. i don't know what to Yeah. We have to talk about it, but we we're definitely not sensitive about it. Right. So the door is open and this whole thing spills out into the the subway and we see that cat left her phone in the subway.
00:49:24
Speaker
and Meanwhile, this whole time, Molly probably should be dead because she's probably bleeding out of her eye socket. Yeah. well Well... Oh, there's also there was also one part before the door opens. There's like the... You see a guy getting his eyes gouged out.
00:49:37
Speaker
like Right. The thumb's just inside. it's just like so much fucking blood. Yeah. That's a classic... That's a classic killer right there. Yeah. um So...
00:49:49
Speaker
The only people left on this um subway, not that it matters, is this one girl has her tit out and like the old man. And they're just sitting there like, yeah. like You know what I mean?
00:50:00
Speaker
Yeah, one tit. Yeah. That was kind of cool, though, because like her shirt's like ripped so she was in a fight or something. you know Yeah, like someone ripped her fucking shirt, but she won. Yeah.
00:50:11
Speaker
Women power, right? Oh, I forgot that I wrote this. We cut to... should I just read this exactly how I wrote it? 100%. We cut to cat running with fat bitch with no eye, Fetty Wap.
Apocalyptic City and Character Dynamics
00:50:30
Speaker
rational asian fewa Yeah. Wap over here. Yeah. I can't see out my ah um And they're like in like a tunnel in the subway, and she falls over and says that she can't...
00:50:44
Speaker
go on. And for some reason, Kat's like, going to carry your fat ass. Let's go. um And that's when the old man approaches and he has an umbrella and he calls her a dirty slut.
00:50:56
Speaker
and then he starts chasing them and calls ah Molly a fat cunt. That's crazy. That is wild, you know? um But to be fair, they don't they probably don't see many of them.
00:51:07
Speaker
But you're right, and you also don't see this. The the girls run into a jacked fucking howl. Like, jacked. Yeah, he's huge. We said the other guy was a piece, but this guy is fucking big. Yeah, he is. He can, like, break my walls. yeah break Break your fucking walls down? Yeah, can.
00:51:24
Speaker
Dude, I don't know what the fuck is going on ti the buttons. The buttons ain't working? No, I'm like trying to click them, and they're just not doing anything. We can't we can't have a flawless recording, I guess. No, we can't.
00:51:36
Speaker
When have we had a flawless recording? That's valid. I don't know. ah So they beg this guy for help, and he goes to fight the old man, and the old man just fucking eats his nose.
00:51:47
Speaker
mean... This is fucking goaded. You think so? I don't know. It was cool. Eating a nose? liked it. Well, I mean, Danny DeVito did it first, right? right Yeah, right. Yeah, of course.
00:51:58
Speaker
Yeah. And then, i don't know how to explain this. There's like the fire. It gives the fire like an axe in a fucking case. It's never in America an axe. Always a fucking like fire extinguisher. Sure, but over there.
00:52:11
Speaker
It's a fucking axe. Yeah. okay Yeah, what's that going to be used for? To break a door down? To break the walls down. Oh, no.
00:52:25
Speaker
Break him down, bitch. Okay. So he... Old man takes his axe and he winks at the girls, which is kind of funny, and he decapitates the fucking Jack Harrell. um And the girls are like... See the end of the... Light the end of the tunnel, essentially, and yell at this stranger who's a bit of a Mahoman Yoiman and ask for help.
00:52:45
Speaker
And we see him, like, walk out of sight and then just close this door. It closes like a fucking garage. Oh, this is Kevin. His name's Kevin? Yeah. Okay. Okay. I mean, that's what it said on a letterbox. I don't think they ever actually say his name.
00:52:58
Speaker
Yeah, and I mean, Kevin does not sound like a Taiwan name. You know what i mean? Neither is Jim. No, I would. Yeah, it just doesn't sound like a, yeah. It's probably like.
00:53:09
Speaker
But i mean, Kevin is like. Yeah, like you could probably be like Jim Hwauchant, but like yeah you can't be like. That's not French. Jim Hwauchant.
00:53:19
Speaker
like Louis Croissant. Yo, when I was watching this movie, I was like. Yeah. that I was like, man, there's so many like accents that are cool to listen to.
00:53:31
Speaker
So, anyways, as the door closes, they kind of crawl out. I thought that i thought she was just going to abandon fucking Molly here, but she doesn't. Molly should have probably gotten, like, crushed in half.
00:53:42
Speaker
Yeah, or just got her foot caught. Something. Yeah, and, I mean, she was going to be diabetic anyways, so who needs the foot? ah Yeah, it's down the road, right? Yeah. Just get your shit ate.
00:53:53
Speaker
yeah uh and when they get out she uh punches kevin in the face because he closed the door on them and then for some reason asked where the hospital is i don't get why she doesn't know but he said he closed it because he didn't know if they were like infected or not that's fair where they were yelling for help all you gotta do is look into their eyes look into my eyes uh We cut to oh the old man starts banging on the door, and then we see him stick his tongue out.
00:54:25
Speaker
all Yeah, cute. um We then cut to Jim, who's walking through the city, which is like, you know, apocalyptic looking. a Whoa. Wow, that was a word. Apocalyptic.
00:54:37
Speaker
Apocalyptic. Yeah. and if If that was an Olympic sport, I'd win. Right. ah And he's looking at all this fucking carnage. It was a scene here that I caught on because it's my second, you know, it's both of our, it's my second watch.
00:54:52
Speaker
Probably your second watch. there was a stroller and a baby definitely got eaten out of that stroller. I mean, that's what's up, right? That's what I'm talking about. I mean, we should just do that in general, right? I can't stand kids, bro. Well, when you say eat babies out, what do you mean by that?
00:55:07
Speaker
ah Not in the Serbian film way. Yeah. i yeah yeah ah Well, taiwans Taiwan's in Asia, so yeah maybe they have the one child rule too.
00:55:21
Speaker
They probably, yeah, you know, population control. It's a little tiny island, so yeah it makes sense. Just eat it, right? Like, you're not going to throw it in the trash bag like some fucking white backhead here. but ah You know what mean? I mean, a baby did get thrown in a fucking trash bag, now that you mention it. Well, yeah, but... i mean, multiple babies got thrown in a trash bag in this movie.
00:55:39
Speaker
Yeah, but I'd eat it. I heard you'd eat it. You're in the apocalypse, you know? You got to something. Where he put some sweet baby rays on that thing, you know? Like, it's gotta be good. It's gotta It's gotta be... It's be king!
00:55:56
Speaker
I don't know... What that even means. But yeah, i dude. I mean, like, if you get an arm, right? It's like a giant chicken wing. I feel like you're saying that... I feel like you're saying that survivors ate a baby to survive. Right?
00:56:12
Speaker
No, brother fucking... The infected ate that motherfucker. I'm just saying like if worse comes to worse. So you're saying if in a zombie apocalypse there was no food left, you'd go full cannibal and you'd start with babies.
00:56:24
Speaker
Yes, because they have the least to offer. They got those drawings that make you live longer, right? Oh, it's like stem cells? You got to suck the placenta or whatever, the something-something fluid.
00:56:36
Speaker
Right, because they use they use that's how they get stem cells is by fetuses. That's how the billionaires live forever, I'm pretty sure. Right, that's what Christopher Reeves did. That's why Magic Johnson's still alive and he has AIDS. and A thousand percent.
00:56:49
Speaker
um So... Then we have more gay rape because we're inclusive. And Jim walks across this guy. He's fucking another dude. He's just laughing about it. He's like having a great time fucking this guy in the ass.
00:57:03
Speaker
I mean, he's really enjoying himself. This guy was enjoying himself the most. Hole's a hole. I wonder if the director was like, hey, bro, you're doing a little too good job of like you know enjoying this.
00:57:13
Speaker
yeah Are you inside him right now? Hey, he inside you? was like, hey, is he inside you right now? um Well, it looks good. So if you're okay with it. you know And then the two of them are like, we're method acting.
00:57:25
Speaker
Oh, boy. Yeah, he's fucking me. um and then And then the director's like, cut. He's like, don't fucking stop. like, hold on. All right, hold on. Give him five minutes without the bus.
00:57:37
Speaker
Yeah. um And then he just pulls right out and start chasing him down the street butt-ass naked. It was kind of funny. um And then we see just cuts and he's on his bike and this road's blocked off at a fork.
00:57:50
Speaker
So he goes left. um We see his hand is still dripping blood. So he duct tapes his hand. And then what do you call these drawings again? scythe? Yes. All right. remember. This was a hand scythe because it's small.
00:58:04
Speaker
Yeah. It's the fucking – we grow the rice. Yeah. It's the little thing with the little hands, you know, in the fields. Yeah. Yeah. yeah Yeah. We make the rice cake. Yeah, uh rice is so good dude. Oh yeah, I love i love rice. I love white rice.
00:58:24
Speaker
Oh, that will. If I'm eating rice, it's gotta be white. It's gotta be white. It's gotta be white. It's gotta be, it's gotta be candy! Yo!
00:58:43
Speaker
there I know. At this point, I'm just going for the laugh. Just what it is. And then he hears some guy screaming in the distance. and And for some, he just like stops his bike in the middle of a field. I don't get why he does this. And for some reason in the middle of a field, there's a fucking basketball court.
00:58:58
Speaker
They don't play basketball. Nah, unless you're Jeremy Lin or Yao Ming. Yao Ming. Uh, and these like four dudes are torturing this one guy and he's naked.
00:59:10
Speaker
and they, ah They basically run his nuts into a fucking basketball pole that's wrapped in barbed wire. Like Mick Foley would be proud. This is real Mick Foley-esque, going to say.
00:59:20
Speaker
Yeah. And then one of them turns around and just gets fucking Sparta kicked by Jim. Jim's got the Christ sandals on too. Yeah, he does. Yeah, he's fucking Jesus Christ. Yeah. ah Not Steve.
00:59:36
Speaker
He punched another guy in the nose and they all run off. And then he goes to help this guy who was getting tortured and like his hands were tied behind his back. So he unties his hands with the hand scythe. um And crazy. I actually forgot. Even the second watch forgot this even happened. The guy turns to and goes, why did you just make him stop? was about to fucking shoot my load.
00:59:55
Speaker
Which is just fucking wild. Some people like some fuck shit. like ah You know what? If you're into BDSM, whatever. You don't take shame. Nah, but the moment that like there's like some blood involved, I'm like, eh, might be a little too far.
01:00:12
Speaker
Or poop. Yeah, but that scat play joke would just live in infamy. That's true. From Harry Potter. Yeah. yeah That was crazy. Go flick my shit with my shit.
01:00:24
Speaker
I forgot what you you like take my shit and masturbate with it. It was crazy. Uh, anyways, that was vile. ah so he was about to shoot his load.
01:00:37
Speaker
And then, the guys all come back. Cause it's like, you know, they're all in on it together. And they start throwing rocks at him. And then, uh, Jim gets on his bike and leaves. ah We cut to Kat, who's arriving at the hospital with ah Molly.
01:00:50
Speaker
And the ER had to close because it was overrun. And he said something here about a little girl getting set on fire. Like, that's a sub. Yeah. i Yeah. ah Not Harvey Two-Face, Harvey Whole-Face on fire.
01:01:03
Speaker
Right. ah They... Wheelchair... put Molly in a wheelchair and ah start wheeling her to like a room or something, but she never gets there.
01:01:15
Speaker
And the dude, Kevin's like, can you check my my nose? And they're like, yeah, you're fine.
Virus and Conspiracy Theories
01:01:20
Speaker
ah So we follow them wheeling Molly and they, she stops the wheelchair and Kat's like, let's have a minute.
01:01:27
Speaker
And then she has like a moment. And Miles like, thank you so much for saving my life. I never had any friends because I'm fat and ugly. I'm ugly, I look like I'm missing a chromosome.
01:01:39
Speaker
And like, my hair is kind of like, it's like half bowl cut and then it goes into like long and then don't know. That's called bangs. You fucking hoiman, yoiman. That's called fucking bangs. I know what they're called, but.
01:01:53
Speaker
When I was in first grade, someone saw me eating a crayon and it just hasn't been the same. Uh, so the, Kevin's like, you're being a drama queen. And then, ah next scene is they're all like sitting in a waiting room, looking at like TV.
01:02:09
Speaker
And we see cat take her jacket off and ask to use a Kevin's phone. And he unlocks it for his background. Straight fucking anime tits. I mean, yeah. but yeah be animated Uh, then the general comes on and introduces the president and he's saying it's not an invasion or a bioweapon.
01:02:30
Speaker
And he says they're taking care of it very efficiently, according to him, and denies it's the Alvin virus. ah The general takes the mic again and says the virus turned people into sadistic homicidal maniacs.
01:02:43
Speaker
And there's currently 4.5 million people infected. Wow. What's the capital? that Wow. What the fuck am I What's the population Taiwan?
01:02:56
Speaker
What's the population of Taiwan? of tie. Well, should we look at it before or after the pandemic? Uh, let's look at it right now. 23.9 million people.
01:03:08
Speaker
Wow. So good chunk. More than a half. Um, half.
01:03:17
Speaker
How much do you want? Half.
01:03:21
Speaker
Uh, the general we see get infected live time in live time. ah We see the tear and then his eyes go red and he grabs a grenade and sticks it in the president's mouth. Fucking Granado.
01:03:35
Speaker
Granado. And this man's head explodes and it's practical and it looked fucking sick. who ah Yeah. Is it better than Scanners? I would put it about the same. the This movie's better because Scanners is fucking boring until that scene.
01:03:51
Speaker
That's the only scene I've seen of it because as you said, that's only scene that matters. That is the only thing that matters. and ahs This one's pretty good. i I enjoyed it.
01:04:03
Speaker
Yeah. And then Kat gets in a fight with ah Kevin because she wants to use some app on his phone to make a phone call to ah Jim and he ain't having it.
01:04:16
Speaker
ah Then these two guys get in a fight in the waiting room. And then Kevin grabs Cat by the hair, which is kind of fucking a wild. He's like, give me my fucking phone back. And she elbows him in the face. I mean, like, bro, re like it's a zombie apocalypse. Like, let her make her phone call.
01:04:32
Speaker
This whole... The whole mob inside the waiting room just starts fighting each other. And a security guard pulls a gun. ah And the camera kind of pans. And behind him, on the other side of a glass door, is the old man who still has his axe.
01:04:46
Speaker
What's on the show? the And then he axes this fucking dude in the back and the infected raid this fucking hospital. He kind of like throws it, right? Because like... I guess it wasn't filmed right, but I guess he threw it, yeah. Yeah. ah Cat is able to escape and ah the next scene is essentially the old man fucking Molly in the eye.
01:05:08
Speaker
Off screen, unfortunate. I mean, you see his face, not hers. Yeah, he's liking it. Yeah, but I would like to know how big his piece He's like, ah Yeah. Right.
01:05:20
Speaker
We cut to
01:05:25
Speaker
what's his name? Jim, who gets a message from Kat and he tries to call her. um And Kim is in a staircase, you know, trying to be sneaky. And the phone ring is like kind of loud, but she answers the phone and they talk and they're fine.
01:05:42
Speaker
And Jim tells her to hide till he gets there. And for some reason, she can't call him because it's not her phone, but he can call her. And then she's like, Jim, I love you, Jim.
01:05:53
Speaker
And like, while she's telling this, Jim is looking at this mannequin hair. Fucking mannequin hair. Yeah, that mannequin hair turned into a real hair. And got this tongue sticking out. so Come over here. but Let me fucking give a bleh on your fucking balls.
01:06:06
Speaker
Yo, I've never had my balls licked. Have you?
01:06:10
Speaker
I've never had my balls licked. I've definitely had them like held. held Yeah, caressed my shit. I've had him definitely had him caressed, and I like that. Yeah?
01:06:20
Speaker
i I will tell you, that shit is great. i mean I mean, guys play with their balls all the time. i I liked it so much. That girl that did it, I was like, hey, keep doing that shit. Hey, Dad, don't stop.
01:06:32
Speaker
Don't stop fucking caressing my balls. Smack them, too, while you're at it. No, no, no. No? No, oh get the fuck out there with that shit. why Why would you want that? Stomp on them. I don't want a kink machine, but why would you want that?
01:06:43
Speaker
Some people do. This is coming from a guy whose biggest fear is testicular torsions. Like, I just don't want that. Yeah, and if you don't know what that is, that's when the wrong testicle goes on the wrong side. They go for a fucking spinner-oony.
01:06:56
Speaker
Yeah, they do. Shout out Booker T. Yeah, shout out to Booker T. Yeah, probably b Brian's favorite fucking wrestler. Shout out to Brian. ah yeah chat to brian yeah me We cut to Kevin who's walked, who, are he was hiding under this gurney, gurney,
01:07:15
Speaker
wow the all these ah while, you know, Molly was getting eye fucked. He watched it. Yeah, he just watched it happen. And he just sees, he sees these four infected people just having a fucking orgy. having a good time too.
01:07:28
Speaker
Yeah, this is the consensual sex I was talking about. Yeah, and this is your, but because you said on some episode we just did that blood can be used as lube. And this is your, this is exhibit a for you to make that argument.
01:07:44
Speaker
He then finds, uh, what the fuck's her name? Molly's standing over a dead body eating its fucking brains. Um, and she's like, what's up? Little worm. That's what she calls him.
01:07:56
Speaker
And she grabs a saw and then the origin infected people grab Kevin and they like hold him down and she uses this fucking bone. So that just conveniently placed near her.
01:08:07
Speaker
I'm guessing it's a hospital. I'm guessing she saws off his piece.
01:08:13
Speaker
with the um I know like all the blood has been very excessive. yeah There's like a lot of blood. um So I thought like maybe into like the stomach and get the intestines in that bitch.
01:08:24
Speaker
Sure. like Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, because his piece probably isn't that big. Right. I mean, if he's got that much blood his piece, like... That's a crazy... Were you hard? What's going on? I mean, are you hard? Like, that's some, like, you know, Viagra, like, lasting longer than five hours, like, get some help, you know? Yeah, that makes sense.
01:08:43
Speaker
ah So he's dead. Obviously, cut fucking cat waiting on the stairs and these two infected guys come running up the stairs and start chasing her. And she barricades his door shut ah when the old man appears and tells her he ain't ever going to stop until he fucks her to death. That was her his words, not mine. yeah I mean, fucks her to death.
01:09:04
Speaker
He's got an agenda and he's stuck to it. I respect it. that's that's You know what? Girls want a guy who's committed. He's fucking committed. He knows what he wants. Yeah, exactly. Just give it to him and everything will be all right.
01:09:16
Speaker
Yeah, we're just kidding. ah Yeah, I mean, I just like it's sick. We've just been saying some crazy shit. I thought it would be, you know, yeah common sense. yeah no No, but we just sometimes it just goes too fucking crazy.
01:09:30
Speaker
Like, is it fair to say this has been more wild than a Serbian film? Which is absolutely insane. Yeah. Have we just said more wild shit than that episode? mean, yeah, there's kid fucking in that movie. So, like, I feel like we couldn't go any higher.
01:09:44
Speaker
But we didn't, like, make jokes ah about it. No, because it's, like... It was bad. was real bad, you know? Yeah. It's not good. Kid fucking's not okay. And, like, in ah in a movie like Harry Potter, like...
01:09:55
Speaker
He wants, that's the difference. He wants to fuck the kid. You don't actually see any kind of kids fucking or trauma from kid fucking. You just, we were just making fun of a guy who definitely for sure a hundred percent wanted to fuck Harry and his little tight asshole.
01:10:08
Speaker
Right. But like when it's actually like being shown on screen, that's a you know? Yeah. little more serious, but for some reason in this movie it's foreign. So we just don't care. Well, cause they don't care.
01:10:19
Speaker
No, they don't. Uh, So he's committed. He wants to fuck her in the ass. ah and i want How do you know it's the ass? i You're right. i You know what? I was so used to the gay sex thing that my mind went to fucking her in the ass. You're right. like you're right Why am I discriminating against the pussy hole? That's rude.
01:10:39
Speaker
It could be the mouth. Yeah, he wants to fuck her until she's dead, so I guess you fucked her in the mouth, like like a Serbian film, you can die. He's already fucked an eye hole. That's probably he's got a but he's got a tight. But he's got a small piece, so there's no way you're choking at a bitch for small piece. Here's the thing, right? When he was fucking Molly, right?
01:10:55
Speaker
Yeah. you think, okay, first of all, you think he's circumcised or no? He's aged. I think, I think her hands are circumcised. Yes. Yeah. All right. So like the eye holes, like kind of small, like that's, Nothing's supposed to in. Especially for them.
01:11:07
Speaker
Right? Yeah, they got the... Right. They got the sun in my eyes look. You know what I mean? So say it's an eye hole, right? I can't believe you're fucking laughing at that. Okay.
01:11:18
Speaker
So say to say it's an eye hole, right? You put your piece in there, right? When you pull out, right? Yeah. When you're circumcised, you got that little mushroom head. So like your little walls, right? So it's going to go like... You know what mean? Like, you're breaking the walls down. Yeah, we're breaking her fucking orbital walls down my penis.
01:11:35
Speaker
Now, the question is, did her eye come out with the umbrella? Because didn't look like it. No, like, it's in there, right? So now he's, like, making jam in there, you know? like He's literally rearranging her fucking organs in her head.
01:11:46
Speaker
Yeah, right? It's like Shrek when he, like... Yeah. Doesn't he squeeze eyes? He makes jelly out of eyes or some shit? Yeah, he does. You're right. Yeah. Shrek, I guess. Shrek in this. Yeah, it makes sense. We're chatting him out here.
01:11:59
Speaker
ah He. So there's all men able to squeeze through the fucking door barrier and tell his other guys that, you know, he she's all his. um And he goes looking for and he says that her dripping cunt is waiting for his dick.
01:12:13
Speaker
So it is it is the pussy hole. I stand corrected. That's what he wants. And she sneak attacks him with a fire extinguisher and then bashes his head in and he's like, you're just like me. And then she fucking finishes him off.
01:12:25
Speaker
And he kind of like maniacally laughs to death. And not ah not that kind of finish him off. Yeah, she's not giving him top or anything. Debbie. That'd be fucking wild.
01:12:36
Speaker
I mean, I would like it. From her, yeah, 100%. Yeah, even if I'm fucking on my deathbed, you know? Yeah, I mean, like like any last wishes, like, yeah, give me some fucking top. I'll bleep that.
01:12:47
Speaker
Wow. I'll bleep that. Thanks, sir. Thanks, man. I'll bleep. Yeah, bleep. Nick, definitely bleep that. Even though we follow. Yeah, probably, yeah. Yeah, I mean, we do both follow the page, but yeah, you definitely, yeah. just you sleep Let's just bleep that.
01:13:01
Speaker
Yeah. Because most of you fucks don't even follow us on Instagram, so fuck you anyways. It's valid. Fuck you. um As she's bashing this guy's head in, this door opens. This man in hazmat suit opens the door, and he's like, come on in.
01:13:14
Speaker
ah and this is where the movie kind of takes a turn for me.
01:13:19
Speaker
The first time i wasn't a fan, but this time I i enjoyed it. Okay.
01:13:27
Speaker
ah she tries to talk to him and he's like, shut the fuck up. i'm busy. And ah he puts on the TV camera and we see the infected and they take like the fucking guts from this old man, like wipe it on the camera. So you can't see anything. And then we pan him back to this guy and he's holding a gun.
01:13:45
Speaker
ah And he's like, go cuff yourself to the fucking shower. Cuff yourself to my fucking pipe. Yeah. And then, you know, wait for the fucking load strip naked for your killer. um And she's like, no. and he Then he fucking cocks his gun.
01:14:00
Speaker
Yeah. And so she cuffs herself to the shower and he turns it on and it's ah it's a chemical disinfectant. Would cock your piece instead of would it be? ah Yeah, a little bit.
01:14:13
Speaker
I mean, cocking my piece really got me going that much, probably. Oh, yeah. but All day, every day. Honestly, I feel like people who are not surfed can cock their piece more than we can because they got the little skin flat.
01:14:24
Speaker
Yeah, they really cock it Get all the cheese out. Yeah. Yeah. Get that nasty cheese out of there. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a cleanliness issue. It's fucked up. This doctor thinks that... It's the doctor from the beginning, by the way, who was trying to like blow the whistle about this fucking disease.
01:14:40
Speaker
And ah he thinks that she might be immune to the disease and tells her to get fucking nakey, like I said. um And he turns around to like not like give her privacy, but he still watches through like a reflection. Because why wouldn't you?
01:14:53
Speaker
Right, she's at peace. ah Jim shows up, and then ah like he arrives at the hospital, and then we're back with the doctor again, and he's saying that if she was infected, she'd be showing symptoms, and he wants take a blood sample.
01:15:06
Speaker
Then she uncuffs he uncuffs her and he apologizes for the gun. He says he 3d printed it. Oh, um, and he says that he tried to warn the public and that the virus affects the limbic system, which is like your, want to fuck you area.
01:15:25
Speaker
Yeah. Right. Like your horniness center. um And he says that for the most part, these people understand what they're doing is wrong, but they can't resist the urge.
01:15:36
Speaker
He said it's like blinking. at it Yeah. He said it's like you, you can try to resist blinking, but you're going to blink. ah And then he said that it actually makes you imagine the most vile acts and to be satisfied, the victim needs to suffer. The disease does.
01:15:54
Speaker
ah Then Kat throws her dirty clothes in this fucking disposable thing, and there's a baby crying in there in the trash, and this baby's infected. Absolutely. I mean, right.
01:16:08
Speaker
Oh, my God. but That's got to bleep that. Maybe. So she sees it. She's like, what the fuck? And he injects her with the virus and then cuffs her back to the pipe.
01:16:19
Speaker
um And he closes this curtain that so she can't see anything. And he chokes his fucking baby out. um And he says they're going to see if she's actually immune. And if she is, they're going to go to this fucking helipad and take her away and develop a but a vaccine. Yeah.
01:16:37
Speaker
And he says when he got there, there were eight babies that were left abandoned, and he had to inject them all with a virus and kill them. And he's like, what was I supposed to do? And it's like, i don't know, man. i don't know, but don't get the Johnson & Johnson.
01:16:49
Speaker
Not inject them with the virus? That's true. I have the Johnson & Johnson, actually. Oh, do you? Yeah. And you were okay? Before I got 86. I mean, I can't shit now. I don't know if that's something, but... I can't either, and I got Moderna, so I don't know. yeah Yeah, I don't know. You got blood out of your ass? I just got, I can't shit.
01:17:06
Speaker
hatched Yeah. It's different. It is different. um Kat's trying to unlock fucking Kevin's phone, and she's able to see his fucking big, fat, greasy fingerprints on the phone and unlocks it.
01:17:17
Speaker
um And we cut to Jim who's walking through the hallway, and he gets a message from Kat about where she's at, and he just drops the phone with puddle blood. Um, next scene is the doctor escorting cat down his hallway and we see the old man's corpse and cat as cat asked where the ax went.
01:17:34
Speaker
The doctor takes the ax to his fucking thigh. That was an absolutely insane line. You just said cat asked cat asked if where the ax is. Yeah. was wild.
01:17:45
Speaker
Did I fuck it up? No. Did I fumble it? oh No, I could have. Yeah, it was Cast where the axe is, yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to twist your tongue around my piece. That's what I'm talking about.
01:17:59
Speaker
Make that little taco with your... You know? Do you have small it small. Do you have small enough peas enough? I'm toying my top right now. I'm twirling it?
01:18:10
Speaker
I'm toying with it. I'm toying with my top. I thought you were be like like running around the edge with your finger. That ah that also works. There's a different kind of edging. Right. Do whatever you got to do. Yeah. Smack it with a ruler. I don't care.
01:18:21
Speaker
Yeah. I like that. like the sound it makes. Yeah. Make the plastic ones. You go you know? Yeah. And add a little bit of flex to it. You can just fucking... Oh yeah. It's like a slingshot or something. Yeah.
01:18:32
Speaker
Yeah. not
01:18:37
Speaker
That's bad. That's just going to be a big bleep right there. he's like He's like, y'all are wild.
01:18:49
Speaker
He also DMed me saying that he listens to a Game of Thrones podcast. He said that podcast and us are his favorites. I'm like, yo. I'm going to leave that in.
01:19:01
Speaker
so yeah we make fingers Shout out to Brian, I guess. but he only started he only He intentionally did not listen to episodes just to for Harry Potter. That's true, but now he's like now he's like stuck. he's went weekly doing it yeah He's like, when's the next ah superhero movie that you review? I want to be on it.
01:19:18
Speaker
He wants to come on? He does.
01:19:26
Speaker
yeah and I mean, I don't know if you call v for Vendetta a hero, but... I mean, no. I mean, he because he's he has a comic. He does have a d comic. A DC comic. Yeah. Yeah, I mean... Oh, he gets a fucking axe to the thigh, and then he shoots two these infected people with with ah with his gun.
01:19:46
Speaker
And one of them th throws up on his shoe. Ian yells for Kat to pick him up, and she tries to carry his fucking big ass down the hallway, but he falls over. And then she picks him again when Jim arrives, and he is full-blown infected.
01:19:59
Speaker
The... ah yeah The doctor fires off a shot and hits him in the neck and then tries to shoot him again, but Kat interferes. And the gun kind of blows up in his hand because it's 3D printed piece of shit.
01:20:13
Speaker
Right. Like, what are you doing, bro? And then Jim slices his throat with his little fucking rice harvester. Oh, my God. I mean, that's what it was used for, though. So, hey. Yeah. You know, you know we need a little soundbite to have. her How you doing when I get? How is canceled?
01:20:29
Speaker
That's crazy. right I don't know if he is or not. I haven't heard anything from him. Cat takes this dude's swipe card key thing and is able to escape through like this fucking cell-looking door.
01:20:40
Speaker
And she looks back at Jim and Jim's she' like, you found me. And she's like, how does it feel to be infected? And he says that it feels wonderful and he finally has a purpose, which is to find her.
01:20:52
Speaker
and she's like, that's really sweet. Maybe you're not full-blown fucking infected. And he's like, then I want to fucking cut your tits off. It wasn't his goal to find her in the first place. Yeah. And he's like, I want to fucking cut your tits off and smash your face and peel your skin off slowly.
01:21:08
Speaker
I mean, and then this is where I don't know. I do like this now because cat like starts crying and then kind of starts laughing. And then she goes to the rooftop and we don't follow her to the rooftop. We just see Jim's face and you hear gunshots.
01:21:26
Speaker
you can kind of assume that she fucking caught the virus. She caught it. And then she got fucking mowed down. and the muff of po car and And the movie, there's a fucking crazy hardcore song that plays at the end of this fucking movie.
01:21:40
Speaker
Yeah, there is. That is the sadness. What are you going to rate it, cuz? I'm going to leave it at a four and a half. Me too. It's a great movie. It's just that good.
01:21:53
Speaker
if you If we're classifying it as zombies, it's my second favorite zombie movie of all time. What's the first? Reganimator? Fuck.
01:22:04
Speaker
Yeah, because we established... one you had in your head? Return a Living Dead. In your fucking head. Return the Living Dead just so good. It's a great movie. We're doing it for a Horror Month. We are, yeah. Watch out. Luck out.
01:22:16
Speaker
I think that's... I don't know what i'm talking about. Keep going.
01:22:21
Speaker
So it's in the top three. We'll put it there. Top three. ah I'm also giving it four and a half. Movie's fucking great. I've already won a rampage about fucking... Beautiful gore....20 bullocks and gore and practical effects mean a lot to me. So this is fantastic.
01:22:35
Speaker
I might bu bump it to a five. Maybe. I don't know. It's four and a half right now. Maybe this comes out to a five. I don't know.
Conclusion and Social Media Engagement
01:22:42
Speaker
Shout out to fucking Shudder. out to the 4K. Shout out to Yeah You Want It.
01:22:46
Speaker
ah We'll do a... the fucking plug it in plug it in so follow us on instagram two guys one screen pod send any comments concerns movie requests to two guys one screen pod at gmail.com i can guarantee you it's not fucking aol all right nope or dot net yeah ew follow us on youtube tiktok follow individually on letterboxd follow to see if this man can get a fucking nose reduction
01:23:16
Speaker
All right. follow See fucking Gerald Anal Beads. yeah ah Send us a voicemail. 508. Fist us. 508. Dip tip. Six minute limit.
01:23:29
Speaker
And that gets your movie request shot straight to the top of the list when we get time. for Come shot straight to the top. We're booked. Probably the fucking description.
01:23:40
Speaker
Yeah, we'll fucking listen to our physical media podcast too. Yeah, you want it? Yeah, yeah I know you fucking you do. I'll fucking fuck you. Yeah, I'll fuck you like the sadness. Yeah, you know when you're like in the toilet?
01:23:50
Speaker
Like you're in the bathroom, right? And that guy's having a bad time. That guy's having a bad time and it's going... You know, that's what I want. But like squat over me, all right? I'm in the fucking scat play.
01:24:03
Speaker
Squat over me. ah you fucking want that shit well anyways if you don't want that it's all going to be linked in the description
01:24:15
Speaker
if you don't want that shit let me know it said like i respect that i get it yeah next week we have a fucking classic reviewing that hasn't been recorded yet ah The Fly yeah Mr. Cronenberg Shout out to Jeff Goldblum.
01:24:35
Speaker
Jeff and his piece. Gina. Gina Davis. I have a fucking sound. Stuart Little. Blue Ray. Gina Davis. ah And ah I have to leave to go watch the new Toxic Avengers. So we'll see you guys next week.
01:24:52
Speaker
Toodles. Fuck you, Mark Little, bitch. Yo. Bravo.