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Ep. 4 Bridge to Terabithia
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Nick and Gerald go over their physical media pick ups and review 2007's Bridge to Terabithia
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Email the pod at 2guys1screenpod@gmail.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Fire Story
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys, One Screen. My name is Nick. And I'm Gerald. And today we are reviewing a movie from 2007. We are the 2007 podcast. Um, Ray Soteribithia. This week, I don't think we have a physical media pickup segment for y'all. Um, Gerald, did you get anything?
00:00:27
Speaker
Negative. No. Um, well, I almost lost everything. That's an understatement. Um, yeah, this past week, well, this past week of this podcast, when we're recording this, not when it comes out, uh, I was getting ready for work and my firearm started going off and I'm like, all right, what is what's going on?
00:00:50
Speaker
I opened the hallway door or the door to my my hallway and all the lights are flashing. And I'm like, this can't be fucking real, ah which is not a great first thought to have when you have a fire arm going off as this isn't real. It's a just prank, bro. yeah But I was like, I didn't get any notices in the mail saying they're going to test the alarms or anything. So I was like, fuck it. ah It's probably real.
00:01:09
Speaker
So I grabbed my cats. I stuff them in one bag because I don't have to, I don't have to, I stuff them in one bag and they're big. They are kind of, they're full grown. Um, shout out to them. If you have any cats, by the way, feel free to write in, show me your cats to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com. Follow the Instagram page. Two guys, one screen pod, two guys, one screen pod and Yeah, so I grab the cats, phone lock keys, and I go downstairs, I go to the front, and there's a lady in the front of my building just sobbing, like crying hysterically. And these other women are there, consoling her, and I'm like, what's going on over here? And I hear her talking, and I overhear her say, my kitchen is up in flames. That's concerning. One more time. My kitchen is up.
00:02:06
Speaker
in flames. So I was like, Oh fuck. Like I could lose everything right now. And like, you know, all the podcast recording stuff we use my entire physical media collection, uh, not to mention my furniture and my entire life is in this apartment. So um'm I'm like, in that case, let me get my car. My car is parked in the garage inside the building. That's a very small flex.
00:02:32
Speaker
um so so i go get my car and i pull it out and i'm parked kind of outside the building just watching the chaos three fire trucks pull up luckily i'm literally walking distance from a fire station so they were there like like within minutes And I see firemen escorting elderly out of the building. I see one fireman. He grabbed an axe and I'm like, who the fuck is locking their door on the way out in fire? Oh, my kids in there. What the fuck? You trying to murder your kid? um Arson. So then nothing happens, by the way. There's I've not seen any damage. Nothing's you know, I go back inside. Everything's good.
00:03:17
Speaker
But then I'm
Insurance and Media Collection Discussion
00:03:18
Speaker
on the way to work and I'm like, Oh, I don't have any renters insurance. You should probably get that. I've been in this apartment for four years. Uh, and um we've never had an incident. That's why you have insurance, right? For like the time that it does happen. So I call my insurance. Well, let's plug them state farm. State farm is there.
00:03:39
Speaker
shout out Jake from State Farm. You know who you are. And I'm like, Oh, I got to put in a quote. So they were on the phone and the lady's like, do you, you know, give me this, give me that. And then she was given any collectibles. And I was like, yeah, I got a physical media collection. And I probably say one of the dumbest things I've said in my entire life to her. She's like, how much do you want to insure it for? I got $1,000.
00:04:00
Speaker
So the the whole thing goes through, by the way, it's 80 bucks a whole for the whole entire year. That's so cheap. Yeah, it's not bad at all. So I texted you and I was like, dude, I i ensured my physical media collection for $1,000. I don't think it's enough. And you're like, bro, what what the fuck are you doing? Not even close. And the math that you said to me, the fact that I didn't think of this, I feel like a ah fucking moron. I was like, all right, let's just say Like I personally have like 1100 movies. So let's just do a thousand, right? If you paid $5 per each movie, that is $5,000. Okay. There is no shot that every single movie you own cost $5. It doesn't. I've already said on this podcast, I'm a criteria on horror. So like $34. Yeah.
00:04:57
Speaker
Yeah, I have I'm inching close to 700 movies total. And there's very few far between that are $5. I mean, the bare minimum at like where I shop now is like seven. So oh yeah, I don't think yeah, I got to call him back and up my insurance. Anyways, apartments fine, cats are fine. And my physical media collection is completely fine.
00:05:20
Speaker
Did you ever find out like how close this lady lived? So my my apartment building's in like two wings. You know, like you've been there, like where the elevator is. There's like right and left. So I'm on the I'm on the right side, I think. So must be the left hand side. Yeah, if you're facing the building on the right hand side, it must be the other side of the building or above me.
00:05:40
Speaker
But nothing which could have been things happened above you could have been terrible. Yes. I mean, above or below could be fire rises. So it was below me. I've been fucked too. But anyways, as above. So I didn't say this when I'm in the car trying to go back like like, oh, it's all good. You can go back inside.
00:05:58
Speaker
I pulled my car back into the garage and when I was in my car, I let the cat out of the bag. I have, ah I have two cats. One of them is red haired and I just never gave him a name. So his name is red kitty. Also, this is like the only time I'll tell you not to email the pod. Do not email the pod. Two guys, one screen at gmail.com or two guys, one screen.
00:06:16
Speaker
Pod etchmo.com do not email us Offering names for my cat. I will not listen. He's three years old. I'm not changing it. Sorry red kitty is good enough Red kitty is red kitty. I don't care what your opinions are. Sorry unless they're movie related then yeah send my way our way ah He goes under the front seat but like Square under it not like hanging out a little bit like he's all the way under it and I can't get him out and du He was so terrified. I mean, they're fine now, but like they were terrified So I I pushed the chair all the way forward and I can't get him out I pushed the chair all the way back right and I'm one I don't know what's underneath my goddamn right RC like if they're like try I don't want to like hurt him So I move it forward gently move backwards gently and I can't reach him and like this motherfucker So I just kept doing it and eventually I got like a little little tail and I had to pull them out by step
00:07:12
Speaker
Not a hard. I just gave him a little tug and his little paws came out and I just pulled by his paws and I just grabbed them from underneath his arms. I still pour i love him. He's like my he's my favorite, but he got stuck. Yeah. um But they're fine now. They have a good life.
00:07:28
Speaker
So anyways, almost lost whole collection, but now it's insured for a thousand dollars. I'll have to change that. So in, I know, uh, in my state of New Jersey, don't docs me. Um, it's actually required by law to have renters insurance. If you rent.
00:07:50
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Actually my apartment complex forces you to have renters insurance. Hmm. I read the, uh, our lease and I was like, Oh, there's nothing mentioned. The lease agreement says you we recommend it, but doesn't require it. Yeah. I think I need to go back through because at the time we moved in, I did not have as many movies as I do now.
00:08:17
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it's been we've both been out for like four-ish years. That's a lot of film we've collected since then. Uh, yeah. Especially since,
Movie Review: Bridge to Terabithia
00:08:24
Speaker
you know, I got some heavy hitters, nothing like crazy, but... I mean, we we also have shares of some in common that are worth money. Reanimator Steel Book looking at you, dog. That's the first thing I thought of. Do you remember, I just thought of this, when we first started collecting during the pandemic for the listener who doesn't know this either?
00:08:42
Speaker
um I had that little wooden ah shelf like below the TV in my bedroom yeah and it held like maybe 30 movies on it. Yeah, you it was like the MCU pretty much, right? Okay, so here's another thing for you. We went to Best Buy one day and I bought... Do I bought whatever was out at the time? I bought entirely on DVD. The whole entire thing. I just bought every single MCU movie on DVD.
00:09:11
Speaker
Blu-ray you had a blu-ray player, right? I think at the time I was still using a gaming console, which I don't own no Yeah, but I bought I don't know what was out yet it must have been up to Civil War or um I didn't have all those but like up to that was out It was like 2016 2017. I bought every single one on DVD. It was like $140 God yeah Yeah, it was a lot um That was where we started humble beginnings now. We have collections
00:09:43
Speaker
Speaking of things I will not be adding to my collection, Bridge to Tara video. Wow. No, I don't wanna shit in this movie too hard yet. um But that is today's review. Yeah, so I'll start this with, this was the second movie I ever saw in theaters. Oh wow, what was your first? Chicken Little. That's pretty good. um Hey man. Can I tell you my first ever?
00:10:12
Speaker
Sure. Spider-Man 2 with Tobey Magliar. And guess what? Classic, because you know me, classic Nick. I got upset to loud noises and we left.
00:10:24
Speaker
Do you remember what scene you left? that Yeah, dude, when fuck like when Doc Ock, like wakes up in the hospital, he kills all those fucking hospital people. I would the saw see me. I didn't even make it through the fucking intro. I was that scene is like straight out of. Yeah, I was like, i we need to leave right now. And my sister, who is two years younger than me, depending on the time of the year, ah even she was mad. She's like, why the fuck are we leaving?
00:10:50
Speaker
And my dad's like always, a you know, he's always in good spirits, but like he he was fine, but I'm sure he was pissed. Oh, he's like, I just spent all his money fucking to take you spoiled brats out. You want to fucking leave? I was like Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins. It was too fucking scary. It's not my parents to get murdered. Bridge Terabithia 2007, as I said, we are 2007 podcasters, it seems, directed by Gabber or Gaber.
00:11:18
Speaker
Supo, he has nothing in his filmography besides ah he filmed a couple of the Rugrats movies. Oh, are you a big Rugrats guy? I like the Rugrats. Yeah, I used to watch the show. I wasn't allowed to watch TV. So that's like, yeah. No, just like youre banning the Rugrats is kind of odd. My mom banned television wasn't even just the Rugrats. It was OK.
00:11:49
Speaker
All right, here's your, your cast. Josh Hutcher Hutcherson, uh, plays Jess Aaron. Shout out PETA. Shout out to him. How do you feel about, uh, his character being named Jess? It's all right. I'll mind it. All right. It bothered you.
00:12:11
Speaker
I was just like, Jess is a choice for a male character, but we're in 2024. You can do whatever you want. I get. i Hey, I found out that this guy I work with at work. His name is Leslie. Oh, is he going to? I'm not going to say that yet. I'm going to listen to the pod. Hope not. No, please. Please. and the bob Leslie. got to Leslie. Call him less.
00:12:33
Speaker
ah The next person Anna Sophia Rob plays Leslie Burke and she's been in Not a whole lot Charlie in the chocolate factory the Johnny Depp movie ah What is this jumper people there are there are jumper stands out there I should say that really For all my true crime fans she was in the act ah the gypsy Rose Blanchard series that they did on Hulu. That's fun. Have you seen Soul Surfer? She was in that. The fuck is Soul Surfer? All right. Well, you haven't seen it, sir. It seems sort of shark movie. It looks like it. Yeah. All right. Who else we got Zoe Deschanel, who plays the music teacher, Miss Edmonds. She's a little.
00:13:24
Speaker
and Obviously, like 500 Days of Summer, almost famous. I'm assuming you guys know who she is. All right. Robert Patrick, who plays Jess's father, Jack Arons. He is kind of a big deal. He was in the Terminator, which is where I remember him from. ah Walk the Line, Die Hard 2. Wayne's World, I have not seen. Identity, he's been in a bunch of movies. He was in the Marine with John Cena. Shout out to John Cena. Shout out to the Marine.
00:13:53
Speaker
Kate Butler plays Mary Aarons, his... Unfortunately. These are other mothers or sisters. Devon Wood plays Brenda Aarons, Emma Fenton plays Ellie Aarons. um life Latham Gaines plays Bill Burke, that is Leslie's father. Judy McIntosh plays Judy Burke, that is her that is Leslie's mother. And Patricia Aldersley plays Grandma Burke and then I just wanted to shout out Cameron Wakefield playing Scott Hoeger. What a fucking name. Scott Hoeger. Hoeger. What you gonna do when Scott Hoeger runs wild on you brother? Elliot Lawless plays Gary Fulcher. Sorry. Those are the two bullies. Alright, I think that's enough of the cast. We'll get into it.
00:14:44
Speaker
film starts the intro credits are like a drawing but like animated like it's like go ahead it was like pencil pencil yeah animation it was cool i appreciated it we're like following jess as he's running and this guy's just really trying to be Forrest Gump uh he's just running and running and running so then it opened with Jess and his family eating breakfast, but Jess smells. aya I relate to that. His shoes were, like, destroyed. He had, like, duct tape around the soles to keep them, like, intact. So his mom throws his sneakers out. She's like, I threw them out their garbage. He's pissed. I'd be mad. I'd be mad about it. who I mean, yeah.
00:15:38
Speaker
Mom gives him other shoes that must have been like hand-me-downs from his older sisters. Pink Adidas. And hey, man, it's 2024. It's all right. Whatever you want to do. But I would just say I would not wear it. No. So he takes, uh, he has no choice because he has a race to do at school. Like it's like field day or something, but like he like takes Sharpie and colors all the pink, black,
00:16:05
Speaker
Which I want to ask you what you thought about this. So he calls him black and then he's doing chores in the greenhouse because his family is like farmers. They're farmers, I guess. They're really poor. They're poor. In the greenhouse, like the sprinkler goes off and everything gets wet. Was this supposed to mean like the. Marker, he called the shoes on with like washed away. Or is it just. That's how I took it.
00:16:35
Speaker
Yeah. I took it like that too. I was, I was thinking about that. I was like, are you using like real Sharpie or are using like an expo marker? To me, it looked like an expo marker. Well, dog. yeah that's gonna That's dry erase. That's going to go away. So he gets on the bus. Uh, he gets a sandwich thrown at him, which is tough. Main bully Janice.
00:17:07
Speaker
janic Janice. We didn't even shout Janice in the cast. Whoops. um
00:17:37
Speaker
And then we meet Scott Hoeger and, uh, and Gary who are also bullying him. They call, they go, oh, my loser detector is going off. This film is filled with like the early 2000s, like this is you could possibly throw at somebody. Here's my thing, right? I don't remember bullying ever being like this. No, I remember being a lot worse. You think so? Yeah, dude. What do you mean? This is nothing.
00:18:03
Speaker
Loser detector. I'm like, I'd be like, what? This is whack. I mean, but what is, what grade is he in? Do we know? I don't know. He's got to be like, at least like what? cause bullying maybe For me in like middle school, like also this bullshit we're going to get into in a minute where like.
00:18:20
Speaker
Janice is like, pay a dollar to get in the bathroom. Like, what kind of fucking dumb shit is that? That's not bullying. That shit never happened. Get a fucking real teacher. Shout out, Jake. Yeah, like, once you get into high school, like, bullying just kind of, like, stopped. Like, it's like, it's a fucking point, dude. Do you think bullying stopped, or do you think it was just bullying in a different form? Alright, maybe it was bullying in a different form, but... Cause I think we were pretty cruel to each other on, like, Facebook. Was that high school, though?
00:18:50
Speaker
At least ninth grade, bare men. Yeah. not I'm not talking about my personal experience. I just think that like our Facebook obsession didn't go away until early early ninth grade. Oh yeah, the bullying bullying on Facebook in middle school was intense. You just go in fights. I also just feel like you get in high school experience, it's not bullying so much as isolation. like People have their clicks and it's easy to feel like you're not you don't fit in with any of them. Yeah.
00:19:20
Speaker
So it's it's a different experience, not that we have kids going into high school listening to this podcast. Maybe. After the cuckoo episode, I hope not.
00:19:32
Speaker
um No, listen to the podcast, please. We'll bleep it out. All right, so on the bus, we hear that Jess's nickname for their English teacher is Monster Mouth Myers. Boy, howdy.
00:19:46
Speaker
um Then we get into her class where we're introduced to Leslie, who is the new student. um From there, the this aggravated me. This is not a doc against a movie. It's just this kind of kid I fucking hate. um The Monster Mouth Myers assigns an essay, a one-page essay, and this girl, Madison, I make sure to write her fucking name down.
00:20:14
Speaker
Raises her hand and she's like is it front and back or just the front? like Bruh, why are you trying to make us all do more work? You try hard have an ass. I am I 100% had some classes with people like this You were the worst kind of kid like I take a I Take a bully over you for I'd rather get bullied. Yeah <unk> rather be bull to Do extra fucking fox
00:20:44
Speaker
um All right, so we cut to like recess whatever it is, but here's the thing what school Because this seems like this seems like a really small school sure right But what school has bathrooms outside?
00:21:02
Speaker
Yeah, what is it a fucking latrine? We're not camping. Yeah. Also, there's like kids everywhere. There's like no set locations where the kids are. They're just all over sprawled out through the entire. And where are the teachers? Non existent. And this is where we see that Janice is charging. oh Leslie tries to go use the bathroom and Janice is like, give me a dollar.
00:21:27
Speaker
I don't know what kind of rigged system this is, but if the writers for this movie were like, hey, we're going to make this character who's a bully, how should she bully other students? Who the fuck was like, we should make her charge a dollar to students who want to use the bathroom that's outside. And who else is in that goddamn room going, that's a great idea. You guys should be fired. Oh man. Early to like early 2000s, Disney was rough, huh?
00:21:51
Speaker
Also, I'm kind of counting on you to, like, say the positive because I don't have much. I'm just pissing on that bitch's shoe. Like, that sounds going down. Yeah, I can't say that. um All right. So then we cut to, I guess, like you said, they're having like a field day. like I don't know if it's field day or if it's like they're just doing this for shits and giggles. By the way, I don't know how you feel. ah Field day, wildly overrated. Oh, yeah. I'm also not like, you know, the most physically active person.
00:22:20
Speaker
Yeah, but like I was at the time and it's still overrated as fuck. Um, so Leslie joins the race. Hoger ain't happy about it. He's like, this is for boys only. And there's a big, it's a big piece of the, uh, of the film about like gender roles and what men are supposed to be doing. What girls are supposed to be doing are women girls. Women are supposed to be doing women can do everything that men can do.
00:22:46
Speaker
So they go on this race, and this was filmed kind of funny, where like, Jess realizes he's winning. He's beating another kid. It like slows down, and you can see his expression like change. He's like, whoa. And then as he gets passed by by Leslie, he's fucking pissed. Yeah. And they finish the race, and Jess does not want to shake Leslie's hand. He's heated. I mean, I'll be honest. I wouldn't and touch anybody in school.
00:23:15
Speaker
Alright, you're not a pedophile, we get it. What? What do you mean you didn't touch anybody? What are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? I didn't shake anybody's hand. Oh, I mean, in sports, I don't know, I mean, in your experience, but in sports, it's like a good game, you know, like you do the high five at least, or slap him on the ass, don't you? Bro, he can't be slapping Leslie on the ass, that's not appropriate. It's PG. Yeah, exactly.
00:23:42
Speaker
They go on the bus, they, Jess and Belle get off the bus and Leslie gets off with them. He's like, are you following me? And she's like, nah, bro, I live right there. Yeah, what? Why would I be following you? No. You're just jealous that my house is bigger. Yeah, so Jess goes inside and he opens his little drawing book. We find out he's a drawer, he's an artist. And he sees that Belle's been drawing in his book and he gets real pissed.
00:24:12
Speaker
And I'm like, dude, get over it, man. Like who cares? Yeah. I never, maybe you can like, you know, bring more perspective into this, but me and my brother are not very close in age. So like, i don out like yeah, we didn't have to deal with any of this, but like, did you and your sibling have anything like this? My sister and I bickered, but I don't know if our worlds were very different.
00:24:39
Speaker
and she had a lot going on in her life when she was younger and so did I. So we weren't like, there wasn't a lot of crossover time, um but we definitely had our arguments, just wasn't over some dumb shit like, oh, you drew my book. Oh, come on. like What the fuck? And then this scene that that follows is like, you know, Belle tells the father and you can clearly see the father favorites Belle over Jess by like a long shot.
00:25:09
Speaker
Yeah. Um, cause they show, they show him like being all kind and like showing her how to like water the the flowers and like Jess is off the side, like looking over like, hmm. Acknowledge me, dad. Yeah. So yeah, he's like, the father is showing bell had a garden and Jess is like off to the side doing other chores. Like, Oh, I wish I could get some kind of affection. Fuck me, dad. Oh a man.
00:25:39
Speaker
Just give me an inch. Uh, we go cut to miss Edmund, Zoe D Chanel. She's the music teacher. Hello. Yeah. How are you doing? We knew she was hot, but, uh, she's the music teacher and they're singing. Why can't we be friends? Yeah, which is very fitting. Yeah.
00:26:01
Speaker
ah Leslie sees Jess drawing in c class. She's like, oh, that was really nice. And he immediately closes him, closes him. He immediately closes the book. Like, hey, don't look at this. Like, this is my own. Like, he's very reserved, quiet.
00:26:18
Speaker
And then she offers him a piece of gum and talk about a blast from the past. It's goddamn juicy fruit. Juicy fruit. The gum that tastes good for about five seconds and then all the taste goes away. That was my question for you. Like there's no way juicy fruit is that good. No. I i can't stand juicy fruit. I'm a, I'm a Trident man. Trident. True.
00:26:40
Speaker
I don't chew gum often, but when I do, it's Dos Equis. No, it's fried gum. Yeah. When I think of like the two worst gums, it's juicy fruit and big red. What is big red? You've never had big red? No, I had big leek chew. Nah, big red. That's pretty bad too. Big red's like a cinnamon gum, but it's like really spicy for no reason. Well, that's where you went wrong. Cinnamon gum? What are you doing? I know, I'm a spearmint guy.
00:27:05
Speaker
I am too. So that scene ends there. Jess is back at home. He's with his sisters and they're like watching a movie or doing something over there. And the parents are like in a separate in the dining room or something. And they're like struggling over financials.
00:27:24
Speaker
So I guess like that seems put in there just so you know, like, hey, they're poor. They're right. If you didn't think so already, they're
Childhood Experiences and Imagination
00:27:31
Speaker
dirt poor. If you couldn't tell that Jess has to wear his sisters shoes, right? They're poor. Um, we go back to school again and Leslie and Jess are walking through the hallway and Leslie's like, Oh, you know, your drawings are really good. They're like the best I've ever seen, which is like, when you're a kid, you're always just like exaggeratory. It's always like the best ever. Oh, it's the funniest ever. Yeah. You know, I'm no artist, but I can't draw. They just kind of look like kids drawings, you know,
00:28:04
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, Jess is for sure a better drawer than I am. Oh, I'm stick figures all day. All day. And even those look pretty bad for me. Yeah. And then we're in monster mouse class. And she calls on Leslie to read her poetry about scuba.
00:28:24
Speaker
I mean, so they didn't say poetry. They called it an essay, but the way she read it really gave off poetry vibes. It was like, she was in like a jazz club and everybody was like snapping after she was reading. you know Yeah. So she reads her piece and they're all like, Oh, this is, this is good. You did a good job. And monster mouth assigns homework to watch this news piece on Dr. Bob Ballard. What a name.
00:28:55
Speaker
And Leslie raises her hand and she's like, Oh, what, what happens if you can't watch it? Like, Oh, your, your, your parents will allow you. It's a school assignment. And then just in case you forgot, they're poor. I don't have a TV and she gets laughed at. Well, so here's the thing though. I don't know if she's poor. Do you think that's just a choice? The parents like there's no TV here. Well, that's what she says. She said that her dad said that TV rots your brain.
00:29:24
Speaker
So did my mom. And then like one of the bullies was like, what do you mean? TV's awesome. And then she's like, yeah, it makes a lot of sense now. Yeah. ah That reminded me of my childhood, my parents. I could not watch like Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, any of those things. So what did you watch?
00:29:46
Speaker
Are you ready for this? Yeah. I watched, she had on every once, like probably once or twice a week, a little thing called multiplication wrap. Wow. And this was, this was a white dude dressed as a rapper and a black guy dressed as a rapper and they would just wrap the times table. So you'd had like the ones, the two sit there and I can still hear them in my fucking head. Like when I do math, my head, I hear them.
00:30:16
Speaker
Oh, that's really, that's really sad. Yeah. And I've only told that to pride three people and now a whole podcast. No. So you're welcome. Now it's out there. Were these rappers like a basic Thuganomics John Cena? I would say, I would say no. Okay. They were very like, when you're a little kid, what you think a rapper is is what they look like, but a lot more bland. One times one is one.
00:30:42
Speaker
Five times five is 25. Six times five is 30. That was the, I just sang on a podcast, fuck. So yeah, but this reminded me, so I couldn't watch anything on TV, which I was bullied for. And then when the Xbox 360 came out,
00:30:59
Speaker
That was the big thing. And my parents were like, oh yeah, we'll get you an Xbox 360, no problem. But all the fun games that were rated M, I could not have. And I was bullied by my neighbor so severely for not having Modern Warfare 3. Or Modern Warfare 2, or Call of Duty Black Ops, or any of them. I just i couldn't play them. I remember when you finally, I gave you, didn't I give you your first rated M game? Saints Row, we had to trade. Saints Row 2 for...
00:31:27
Speaker
The Madden was Drew Brees on it. Well, yeah, like Madden like 11 or something. And that thing did not work. I played the shit out of Madden. That's what I could play. Also at the time, or maybe it was just before we traded, I could not have an Xbox live account either. Yeah, you're, uh, it was bullying to a degree. It wasn't this, it wasn't that bad, but I was definitely like little kids like to make fun of shit. That doesn't really matter.
00:31:54
Speaker
i don't i don't I don't think I bullied you, but when you got Red Dead Redemption, I definitely just kept killing you over and over again. You're like, oh, so this is what I was waiting for? A lot of my friends went to a different middle school than I did, and then I met your group of friends. So there was definitely an initiation period.
00:32:09
Speaker
Uh, which you could call it bullying. You could not call it bullying. Whatever you want to say. I was a little bitch. Uh, there's a lot of factors. Yeah, that's true. But here we are doing a podcast on bridge terabithia more like bridge to Tara shittier. Yeah. Um, all those friend groups, right? Yeah. None of them screw. Right. You it's about it. Besides the one that we initiated. Shout out Jake. Shout out Jake. Uh, shout out Dawson trying to bomb the school. No.
Imagination and Reality in Terabithia
00:32:42
Speaker
ah ah Okay, where were we so she can't watch this news piece and They go on the bus like their day ends and Leslie is sitting in the back and Janice ain't having it So they Janice kicks Leslie out of the back of the bus and on the ride home Leslie Bell and Jess get off together and then Jess sends Belle on her way home and Les and Jess race to like an area, wherever they race to. It was a long ass fucking race, dude. I don't have wind like that. No. I don't got those kind of legs. I walked through the fucking kitchen, the bathroom, and that's about it. I'm out of breath. Down the stairs, and it's like... ah
00:33:37
Speaker
So they're walking around and so at some point it comes up about the scuba diving and Jet or Leslie is like, no, I just know that shit up. She's like, it's just a match like basically what this movie comes down to is, is Leslie opens up Jess's imagination. Yeah. That's like the big, big theme is like, you know, kids having imagination, which is fine. And like the innocence of childhood. I, my problem with this film is it just came off very cringe to me.
00:34:07
Speaker
the the The beginning of this movie is pretty cringe, I'm not gonna lie. I would take it a step further. The movie's pretty cringe until a certain part happens that I did not know was gonna happen. So like an hour in? Yeah, yeah about 60 to 70 minutes in, I was like, this is fucking terrible. All right.
00:34:31
Speaker
They find the rope, this rope that you can swing across across a river and there are both taking turns on it. And Les is like, oh, we need a place that only we can go to. um Which sounds like let's go fuck, but they're kids. Yeah. So also I'm not if I find this random ass rope, I'm not swinging on it now. And to Jess's credit, he's like, we should probably should be on there. yeah We don't. That thing's probably going to snap.
00:34:59
Speaker
So they're going on the rope and then Leslie just swings across to the other side like doesn't let let's go and ends up on the other side of this River Creek, whatever you want to call it. whole s and And this is like I really hate saying this out loud even makes me cringe but the like Oh, we're going to go to this magical kingdom and this is an enchanted rope. And I'm just like, Oh, this is really cringe. And like, we have to free the prisoners of the dark master. Like, dude, give me a break. Yeah. I mean, it's just, it's so cringe. You're like 13, right? Probably 10 to 13 in 2007. No, them. Oh yeah. Like, are you still believing in that shit?
00:35:43
Speaker
Hey, I'll say, you know, we're getting a lot of deep cuts out of me today. I believed in Santa. I was 14 when I was like 13 or something. I was like watching Jersey shore. but ah you ah Yeah. Yeah.
00:35:57
Speaker
So they swing across this dark master magical kingdom and then she's pointing out these dragonflies that she calls warriors like forest warriors and just like, bro, what are you talking about? God damn warriors. I mean, those are God damn dragonflies. They ah they see this old like rusted truck. Oh, yeah. The truck is maybe fucking crazy. Kind of reminded me of like walking through the woods behind your old like your house and like finding that metal fridge and I got cut. I was like really panicky.
00:36:28
Speaker
My house? Yeah. Where'd we find a fridge? To my Jake's backyard? No. In the woods behind your house. Remember I got cut on the metal and I was like freaking out. I was like, Oh my God, I need tetanus shot. No. Where'd you get cut? On my finger. All right. So they find this truck and, huh? They find the truck and it just reminded me of you. Oh, okay. We'll keep going.
00:36:55
Speaker
ah Yeah, so they find this truck, and she's like, oh, these people almost made it, or something about that, they became prisoners. And, oh, they find the tree house, and Leslie, this happens a couple of times a week, who is letting these kids just use saws and take shit, and just go out in the woods, and they kind of fix up this tree house they find that's like run down. Yeah, why?
00:37:23
Speaker
Why? that sound
00:37:26
Speaker
Yeah, she's like explaining everything and like, as she's, it's it's almost like she's like using her imagination to like find these mythical like creatures or something. And like, as she's talking, it's almost becoming a reality. But I think it's still in their heads, right? No, it's all it's all in their heads, dude. that That's what pits them up the most. The stakes in some of these action sequences, there's no stakes because it's imagination. Right. Which is like the point of the movie.
00:37:56
Speaker
but also it's just cringe to me. Like I actually looked up around this point if this was a Disney Channel movie at first It's not I thought it was it gave that kind of vibe but ah When they're doing this fort building, it's like a montage with probably like the shittiest inspirational music ever It's like you can do it if you put your mind to it like well and all the music they sing like in class too It was all like based around whatever is going on in the movie. Yeah, I don't like the soundtrack at all. No shout out
00:38:28
Speaker
to the bus driver for wearing a Dale Earnhardt hat.
00:38:34
Speaker
Shout out to him. So they're on this bus and Janice fake falls and blames Jess. And even Les is like, she didn't do it. This pissed me off so much, right? Yeah. Because she falls and.
00:38:48
Speaker
He's like, beat it. Yeah. She's like, Hey, uh, Jess tripped me intentionally. And the bus driver was like, all right, Jess, beat it. Get off the bus. And I'm like, this would have never happened in real life. Which is like, it's your job to make sure these kids get home safe, not to just fucking be like, yeah, you're fucked. Yeah. But like, I'm just saying like, I've witnessed like fights on a bus and like, sure, sure. You don't get kicked off right away.
00:39:13
Speaker
Nah, like you're like putting the front or something Yeah, like put in the front and then everything gets escalated to like the principal like the next day Right. You're gonna make this kid walk home That would be like parents are at the school immediately like you made my kid walk home You didn't even call me like hey come well get up his parents don't really care about him. So it's He picked the right kid to make it take
00:39:41
Speaker
So yeah, he makes him walk home. Jess and Leslie meet up afterwards. And she has ah something all over her. And he goes, what happened? And Leslie's like, Jess squirted ketchup all over me. Yeah, I thought it was blood at first. I was like, what? And it was blood would have been cooler. Yeah.
00:40:00
Speaker
ah So Jess is like, oh, let's go to my house. We'll clean, clean you off. How are you How are you doing? And he meets, uh, Leslie meets Jess's parents. So then they start talking about Leslie's parents. So my parents are writers and they're often, I guess, whatever we're calling, uh, terabithia, the made up land across from the river. And they start talking about squogers and like these.
00:40:32
Speaker
Squogers aka scrotums, which is what I thought they said at first a little bit. Yeah a little bit This felt really cringe to me They climb up this little hill and get like an overview of like farmland is the reality of it but like she's imagining a kingdom or Something out of the rings for sure. Yeah, and the 2007 CGI really hits hard Not good Jess goes home it is birthday to make him a cake and this cake looks like talk about poor boy cake is rough it's like no one knows how to bake anything go to the store and buy a cake dog they're poor they can't afford a damn cake they
00:41:18
Speaker
You're right, but also they can't afford no damn cake. But like they acknowledge it in the next scene because like they give them a gift and it's like one of those racetracks. Right. Like those figure eight racetracks with little cars and you hold the little remote button down and they fly off all the time. Is that really a toy of the 2007 though? No, I had one in like 2002.
00:41:41
Speaker
And the dad is mad that, like, it's a cheap gift. You bought it, asshole. Jess is like, I love it. but Yeah, like, what what are you trying to get sympathy out of your own kid? Yeah, like, he's like... Like, he didn't even care. He's like, oh, we got to return this right now. What? Then don't buy it. Don't buy that shit, dude. Come on. Don't go to Dollar Tree and buy a gift for your son. Shout out to Dollar Tree. I love them.
00:42:04
Speaker
Uh, and then we get to this whole thing. There's a animal in the greenhouse that like ruins their crop. And the dad is like, look, if we, I'm gonna set this trap, if we catch the animal, um, you come get me, we're going to kill it. And the discussion. So they set a trap and then it cuts to Leslie and Jess on the bus and Leslie gives Jess this art kit. That's like a briefcase.
00:42:33
Speaker
and it Opens up and it looks nice and jazz like this must have been really expensive And she's like why is it not much it costs? She's like just I know you like it. So take it Yeah, she's like do you want me to return it and get a cheap? Yeah, right. No No, like just accept the gift dude. Yeah, but he feels some kind of guilt which has probably been pushed on him by his parents I guess I know people like that. They don't risk they don't like receiving gifts What is that? I don't know. Give me free stuff. It's free shit. I they're in the tree house after this, after school.
00:43:04
Speaker
And a tree falls on the tree house. And in Leslie's imaginative world, she's like, oh, it's a giant troll. And Jess is like, no, it's a tree that almost killed us. Right. And I'm 100 percent still just this point. Like this is fucking stupid. Yeah. What are we doing? Then the a the trap goes off and Jess sees that it's a raccoon and he carries the trap out into the woods and lets the raccoon out. I don't think it's a raccoon.
00:43:35
Speaker
What do you think it is it didn't look like ah it almost looked like an anteater Yeah, got like a knock they got like a pointy nose let me tell you it was not a raccoon there was no tail I Remember there being a tail though. There was a tail, but it wasn't like the ringed lemur type tail fucking animal planet expert over here. Just lets it go. And his dad, he like comes back to the greenhouse to put the cage down. And his dad's like, what the hell were you doing? You fucking idiot. He didn't say that, but no. Might as well. You did say, what the hell are you doing in a Disney movie though? That's kind of crazy. Yeah. He's like, get your head out of the clouds or whatever. He said something like that. Get your head out of the clouds. Something to that tune. Yeah. Which I wrote, fuck this dad.
00:44:26
Speaker
Nom for it. What? You want to kill the animal? Dude. Okay. So his point was. We don't make a lot of money. This crop is our money. This vermin is killing our money. He's fucking with my bottom line. Yeah. Fucking kill that slut. He said i yeah he's not going to come back. Did he, did he pinky promise you? No, I get it. I get it. But like, there's no reason like to kill the animal.
00:44:56
Speaker
No, I'm with it. Kill it. No, no, don't kill the animal. I like it. I like it. It's going to come back to his point. It's going to come back where I'm on the fuck. That dad shit is that he's silencing his kid's passion, which is drawing. Yeah. Let your kid like let him be a kid. Right. Get that. But I don't know. Maybe I'm too much of an animal activist or something. Kill the vermin. No, just make your fucking greenhouse more secure.
00:45:27
Speaker
That's also a possibility. therefore He works at a hardware store. Doesn't he get a discount? Hey, let us know. Email us at two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com or comment on this episode. Should we kill the vermin or not kill it that way, but should you kill the vermin or not? And I'm calling it a vermin because we don't know if it's an ant eater or a raccoon or what it was or a fucking mutated dog. I don't know what it was.
00:45:55
Speaker
Hashtag free the animal. That's all hashtag free the vermit So he gets mad and he kind of goes in and for no fucking reason like outside of the He's like quit the roleplay. I'm done with this shit. He pretty much called him a pussy to his face Yeah, I mean that was not cool. I didn't fuck with that, but definitely kill that fucking animal i So Then the next day or whenever on the bus, Leslie's like all talking about this troll shit. Like, oh, we're gonna kill the trolls today. He's like, dude, get your head out of the clouds. He's just projecting his dad's image onto her. And she's like, what the fuck?
00:46:31
Speaker
The fuck happened to you? You get your period or something? Yeah. And to be fair, she's super cool about it. Cause if someone just changed up on me like that, I'd be pretty aggressive. Like within 12 hours, like she, she would be, but she was like very calm and like collected about it. Like, oh, he's going through some shit right now. Yeah. Like she's like very well thought out. So the driving past like this farmer's market thing and there's a thing that says adopt this dog. Dude, this was like, what the fuck?
00:47:03
Speaker
who What kid is just like, let me get this dog and the adults like, yeah, here you go. Yeah. Like, did it cost money? Or is they just giving this dog away? This is a cute ass dog. They don't cover it. They don't even acknowledge, like they just see Jess looking out the window and that's all you see. It's a cute ass dog. It is a cute ass dog. What's his name? Prince Tarian. Prince Tarian, like straight out Game of Thrones type shit. I haven't seen it. Me either. Don't come from it. It sucks. Don't watch it.
00:47:26
Speaker
All right. Lots of hot take. Why watch episode one? There's too much. Dude, you saw Jason Momoa clapping cheeks in episode one. Dude, he'd be clapping cheeks in that mood and that first episode. Oh, for sure. So the I wrote that. I was like, adopt dog? Question mark? Yeah, like out of nowhere. There's this recess scene, and this is pretty cringe still and pretty funny. Belle, I actually completely saw a jest on this one to a certain point.
00:47:56
Speaker
yeah but belt It was really cringe I agree Bell's like look all these Twinkies I got and like to me a younger kid like early teen or like 10 11 12 would be like I got all this like very showy and Jess is like don't run your mouth like they're gonna get taken and Then guess what happens? Jan is the goddamn bully that she is she took that shit and she and so Bell comes back crying and she's like oh Janice took my Twinkies. and like i He's like, Jess is like, I told you not to run your fucking mouth. I sigh with that, dude. Don't be running your mouth like that. Right. And then this one little kid was like, yeah, Janice makes us pay to go pee. And this, I mean, how is this not infamous? How have I never heard of this? Yeah, why is this not like a TikTok clip? Why is this not a clip? They do this chant, free the pee. Free the pee. Free the pee. God, it's so cringe. Oh my God. so they march
00:48:51
Speaker
like march up to Janice saying free the pee and she's like you fucking serious right now like the fuck you think you are and then a goddamn mutiny bells like hey you're my big brother you gotta step up and like protect me and jess is like do you know what's gonna happen if i try and fight Janice and bells like you're gonna get your butt kicked and he's like no i'm gonna get fucking expelled from school for punching a girl but he would get his ass kicked for sure 100
00:49:22
Speaker
Yeah, that scene was interesting that he won a fighter. And then Leslie was like, Oh, we'll get her back, right? And he was like, yeah, sure. Not physically, kind of emotionally. So then something happens there in the hallway. He comes around, like he was looking at his drawings or something. He's like, you know what? I'm going to go back into this kayfabe imaginary imaginary. Really? That's not a word. Uh,
00:49:46
Speaker
I'm going to go back into this kayfabe imagination shit and on the way to in the hallway, it Leslie and Jess pass each other and Jess gives Leslie a drawing that's like, Oh, the troll hunt is set for tonight or whatever it is. Yeah. In this scene, I really did not like at all what happens after this. I don't like how he's constantly like changing his mind every five seconds. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of annoying. I'd imagine. And like, they're going, like they're going troll hunting.
00:50:17
Speaker
and I think he's stuck between like what his parents want and what he wants, which is valid to an extent. He wants to make his ah parents like proud of him, but at the same time, he still wants to be a kid. Also, the mom, we'll get into the mom a little bit later, but not how are you doing? wow The mom is like not really present. like I don't know if she's on pills. What?
00:50:43
Speaker
Like, I don't know what what's going on with her. She's, like, out of it. Yeah, she's, like, never conscious. Like, he just low-key had a dark-ass life. And if they leaned into it a little bit more, I'd probably like this movie a little bit more. But it's just so cringe. Yeah. So there they're in the woods, and they go hunt this troll. It's a goddamn tree. Yeah. And this is where they showcase, like, oh, we did get the dog. And it's just, like, i bought I got this dog for you. Crazy. I am keeping that dog. That dog is cute as shit.
00:51:10
Speaker
Sure. Just like, but like what kid is like, Hey, mom and dad, I brought this dog home. Can we keep it? Yeah. But as we find out in like the scene that follows her and her family are very liberals liberal, liberal, nothing wrong with that. Just they're very liberal. They're very happy and like a loving family. So there's this big ass troll in their imagination and the dog runs up and like stick to its face between the trolls toes. And they coined it. Oh, it's troll. Troll jam. Why? and This is when I was like, this is when I texted you and I was like, have you actually watched this movie? You're like, yeah, this movie is awful. Fucking terrible. ah Every time they mention troll hunting, I just thought of the movie Troll Hunter. I've never seen it. Is it bad? No, it's really good. It's a found footage movie, actually.
00:52:10
Speaker
It's about troll hunting. Troll hunter. I'll have to give that a watch. All one word, troll hunter. So then they're like, how are we gonna get back at Janice? And they're like, let's write a fake letter from her, from like this boy that she likes saying like, oh, I actually really like you. Whatever, whatever, I forgot his name, Willard. Is it Willard? Insert random write off character here. Willard.
00:52:38
Speaker
ah And so they they set this note up, they leave it in like her desk. The custodian shows up and like, he has like hide for a minute or whatever. They, uh, they leave the note and then Jess and Leslie are on the bus and they watch Janice approach Willard. And Willard's like with his friends, like, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't fucking like you fucking dumbass. And they think it's funny as fuck, which it is. That's what she gets. Yeah.
00:53:05
Speaker
So then they end up at Leslie's house cause she's painting and that's where Jess meets Leslie's parents and they're like kind, supportive parents that are like, yeah, do whatever like you're passionate about.
00:53:18
Speaker
yeah And they're like, hey, Jess, we heard you're like really good ah artist. Why don't you help us paint our fucking living room? And he's painting like the corners and shit, like where the ah crown molding is. And they're like, oh, you're really good at that. This is where, to me, the movie is good because like his family doesn't support him at all or just not conscious to do it. And then her family is like, oh, like, you know, well, we support you. And like he gets support from them and he gets support from the music teacher. So I guess it's good.
00:53:47
Speaker
They're like dancing, painting, like really lovable. So they're like, Hey, Jess, I heard you're really good at painting. So like, you should give us a hand and like he's painting and everything. And then it goes into like a just montage where they're like dancing and painting. And here's the first thing that came into my mind, right? I don't know you.
00:54:08
Speaker
I am not going to help you paint your living room unless you're paying me or you're buying me a steelbook. You and you were seven did not want to steal a steelbook, but I know what you mean. Miss Ed. Oh, so Jess is outside for recess and. Hager knocks him over and all his papers fall and the music teacher, Miss Edmonds is like, oh, these are really good. They used to be in a drawing class. You should do this. So he's getting more and more encouragement to like draw. I don't know why this teacher is kind of coming on to him.
00:54:38
Speaker
Well, we'll get there. Yeah, we will. yeah So Jess and Leslie are walking in the hallway and they hear Janice crying in the bathroom. And ah Jess is like, no, this is a serious cry. Yeah. Not like a little, a little thing. So Jess is like, Leslie, go in there and talk to her. She's like, are you fucking crazy? But.
00:55:01
Speaker
Leslie goes in there and we find out that Janice's dad beats her, which makes sense, as Jess says. This is where the movie starts taking a turn. This is where it's like more of an adult or, you know, it has adult ideas where it's easier to not relate, but like be like, all right, I empathize. And, you know, I don't want to say like, I'm not, you know, you don't want that beating your kids a good thing. Yeah. Don't beat your kid. But no, uh,
00:55:28
Speaker
This is when the movie starts getting good. When all the bad shit starts happening. Cause like life has consequences and like there should be consequences in a movie. Right. Sorry. There should be. So the police were called and everybody knows about it, I guess. And they were teasing her about it or something like that. Yeah. And Jess is like, Oh, I gave her a piece of gum. Here we go again. Plugging in juicy fruit. Fuck that goddamn piece of shit gum. Fuck you, Disney. Juicy fruit.
00:55:54
Speaker
Five gum, how about that? Five gum, what, it feels like choose five gum, it's like an orgasm, geez. Les and, oh, so Les and Jess are trying to plan out the next time they're gonna hang out. And they're like, oh, how about tomorrow? And Jess is like, I go to church. So Leslie goes to church with Jess. And this was also kind of interesting to me, this whole part. So on the way out, this is important for the plot. I didn't write this down until I realized I needed to.
00:56:24
Speaker
On the way out of church. Oh, first of all, Jess is like taken back by like Les's. I really am hesitant to say beauty because they're, she's a kid, but he's attracted to her. Yeah. And, uh, on the way out, she's like, Oh, terabithia, by the way, they don't start calling it terabithia until, I don't know, three quarters of the way into the movie. Right. But either way, they're like, Oh, terabithia needs bells. And then nothing happened with that until later. So.
00:56:52
Speaker
They're in the church and there's like this weird ray of light that like she puts in her purse. it's coming I don't know. It's coming through like the stained glass window. Like, is this God speaking to me right now? Yeah, I don't buy that. No, not at all. But it's also like her imagination. You know what I mean? I guess. Well, she like captures the light in like a mirror or something.
00:57:14
Speaker
Yeah, but it's not God because the next scene, she says she doesn't believe in God. Oh, right. Which was wild for a Disney movie. what What Bell says, and we'll just get into it. What Bell says in this next scene is crazy. And I think this actually is a very, very good part of the movie. yeah I just don't buy it coming from Bell. So they're on the ride home, they're talking about the Bible. And ah ah Bell literally says, we're all vile sinners. If you don't believe in God, he'll damn you to hell when you die.
00:57:42
Speaker
That is some heat coming from like an eight year old. yeah That is like crazy. And then, and then like not only Disney, like, you know, talking about religion, but then for Leslie to go like, nah.
00:58:01
Speaker
She's like, I don't believe in it, but I think it's beautiful, which is right an appropriate message. You can admire someone else's beliefs. You have to believe them yourself. That's kind of how I feel. So yeah, I mean, I'm kind of the same page. um Yeah, if you don't believe in God, you'll get damn the hell, which is crazy. So the next scene.
00:58:23
Speaker
Jess's father asked him to go grab a drill from the greenhouse and he gives him, gives him these keys and Jess ends up losing the keys and the dad's pissed. Cause like it's his money. Again, he's fucked with his money. Yeah. He had like the, he had his truck keys on there. He had the keys to his job on there. Yeah. That's brutal.
00:58:44
Speaker
they go they go to terabith or he got jess alone goes to terabithia for them because they have they have a whole conversation on the bus where belle was like oh i use the keys to make uh bells for terabithia and i skipped that just so can heated like dad's like i would be here too that's fucking bullshit you're watching your boat take the fucking l like that that's savage dad's literally ripping me a new asshole right now and you don't get you Like I took him what the fuck dude you're fucking daddy's favorite over there Yeah, I'm getting fucking shmacked and you're getting whoa so he goes to terabithia to get the keys and I I'm already falling for the goddamn plot calling it terabithia, but
Museum Visit and Tragic Turn
00:59:25
Speaker
Did you notice in this scene he's wearing two jackets and has one tie around his waist? Well, fucking freak. Dude, who is dressing these kids, pause. Who is dressing these goddamn kids? did Was that the thing in 2007? I never did that. What, dressing kids? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? The style.
00:59:47
Speaker
um Maybe I mean I think the the jacket around the waist is never gonna not be a thing but I think the early 2000s for sure had a It was a vibe you did that you you tied your no. Oh, no. No, I got bullied enough I was not doing that too on the way to get the keys Jess fights some I wrote down dog owl hybrid yeah, and then ah There's a a war? I don't know. Like these dog owl johns are coming at him in these birdie bug things. They're like flying like almost like mosquitoes with like armors and swords. And Jess is like, there's a skeeter on my Peter.
01:00:37
Speaker
That's another thing about like the whole it's in their head thing, right? Because they're, they're running from these bird owl things, right? And it picks Leslie up. That's not real, dude. They're imagining that. right But how, how can you imagine that? How can you? Okay. How can you imagine that? Here's how you imagine it. Ready? You're running through the woods. You're running through the woods. They show this after there's a tree on an angle like this.
01:01:05
Speaker
So while they're running like, Oh, we'll just smash this fake being into this trees. We let's go adjust. They're just running in the woods. It's all imaginative. I get none of it's real, dude. It's all fake like Santa Claus. It's all fake. Spoiler. I don't, I don't believe any of it's real. It all looks fake. No, I know it's all like in their imagination, but you've never imagined yourself flying.
01:01:29
Speaker
No, like no, I used to like hop on like a broomstick and think I was flying like Harry Potter. Yeah, so I mean, it's the same vibe. It's the same energy, I think. Or the same line thinking as a child. Yeah, but then Jess like jumps on her and like how they imagine that. Jess jumps on what? Jess jumps on Leslie like trying to like save her from this bird flying away with her.
01:01:55
Speaker
It's not like, to me, what you're watching on screen is what's going on in their imagination. To me, and in real life, they're just running through the woods. Okay. In my head, that's how I view it. It's just not, I don't think it's portrayed very well. I think the, okay. I mean, I think it's portrayed fine. i It's not as, it's cringe, but it's just not as, I don't know.
01:02:19
Speaker
okay anyways the keys are hanging right and uh jess is like falling out of the sky right because he's he's trying to climb the tree to get to the keys but he falls and then janice the troll the troll saves him now this is where i don't know how to imagine how the fuck did that happen is this man literally falling out of a tree and then No, he didn't fall of a tree because he was standing he she catches him and then puts him on the platform of the tree house. Right? So that I don't know. But but Janice is the friend now. Yeah, but more or less. So
01:03:03
Speaker
They get the keys back, the dads all hype. And then, not really, he was very straight faced about it. He's wore the same outfit this entire movie. He has not taken his work jacket off this entire movie. It's a good call.
01:03:17
Speaker
So here's when Edmonds is acting sus. So. So we call the fucking cops or something, man. Call Chris Hansen because I think we got one. No, it's not as bad as like the mid 90s. Mid 90s. There was one that was pretty fucking rough. It's not that bad, but it's pretty sketchy. Right.
01:03:36
Speaker
So Jess is in his room doodling and Belle comes in and she's like, it's your girlfriend. So we're all like, oh, it's probably Leslie. Right. And it's Miss Edmunds, the hot music teacher. And I forgot what she lied about, but she was like, my nephews can't make it to this museum. Do you want to go? Ain't no way. Right. And this is where I'm like, OK, your mom is not is a ah drug addict addict because he goes in the room and she's asleep.
01:04:06
Speaker
He's like, mom, we're going on a field trip. And she's like, okay. So he just gets in this car. It's just her, by the way. And there's this weird part where they look at each other and smile. And I'm like, what's the fuck is going on here? Like this is like, I don't know if Disney did it intentionally. Who produced this Harvey Weinstein? Oh God. I really were was Disney trying to say like stranger danger.
01:04:32
Speaker
I don't think they were, they were just straight up, yeah. It just comes across that way, I don't think that that was the goal. Hey, if your teacher comes up to you on a random Sunday and was like, hey, hop in my car, let's go for a ride, do it. Do you remember, I don't want to dox him, but the guy from LMS who got like arrested, removed from the school because he had child pornography on his computer? Yes.
01:04:54
Speaker
We're not going to box them, but that happened in our middle school. I do remember that it's fucked up. So on the way out, and this is where I was like, where are they going with this? Because he just looks at Leslie's house and doesn't say like, we should invite Leslie. And I was like, Oh, are they going to get in a fight or something? And I don't know. So they go to the museum. Jess has a great time because obviously the whole time it's pretty obvious that Jess like finds her attractive.
01:05:24
Speaker
Yes. That's like the church scene, and all of it. That's the thing that bothers me. What do you mean bothers you? No, he finds the teacher attractive because he'll just like stare and glare at her. Hey, she's hot. I get it. I had several crushes on my teachers in middle school. I did too, but I never went out with them. I mean, I was too afraid.
01:05:48
Speaker
Okay. No. ah Yeah, I don't know. It is weird. It's a weird vibe for sure. But I think what they're trying to say is like, you know, this is your passion yeah and she's trying to be supportive of it. Like she understood in a not a weird way. it's like Like how about this? If it was ah if Leslie was taken to a museum by a male teacher, that's even worse. That's way worse. Right. So they have a great time.
01:06:13
Speaker
comes back and this is what I was like I was like you dumb bitch the mom is like where have you been he's like I just fucking I told you where I was going this morning dumbass I thought you were dead and you're like where the fuck is this going and they dropped a bomb on your ass this is what I feel everybody remembers from the movie so dude Moving on to 2007, I watched it for the first time yesterday as a 26 year old. I'd never heard about this. i I didn't even know it was coming. I had no idea. Good. So whoever said it, Leslie's dead. Huh? Immediately I was like, what? So she was trying to swing on that rope and the rope broke. She must have cracked her head and then just drowned in the river.
01:07:04
Speaker
Right. That is super fucking dark. Super dark for Disney. And it's not even, it's not even like they hinted at it. His dad was just like, your friend's dead. I was like, I mean, that's a moment. I, I actually was taken back by that. Yeah. Like so much. Like it was, it's such an insane tone shift because the movie up until this point has been so cringy, weird, corny.
01:07:30
Speaker
Corny, but like, in and you know, in a child fun way. Right. And then that hits and you're like, what the fuck? They just they just killed a kid. Right. I mean, off screen.
01:07:42
Speaker
So darn I don't know if it's like just weak child acting or whatever, but I feel like the scenes after this of even the adults, anybody trying to process the grief of losing your child or him losing his best friend is not really shown. I mean, he's obviously angry about it in scenes, but I don't know if it's expressed like that much.
01:08:04
Speaker
Yeah. Like they go to, uh, his dad's like, Hey, we should go. We're going to go to like, you know, Leslie's parents house to pay our respects. And like, Leslie's parents aren't crying. They're not yeah like upset. And the dad goes, Leslie's father goes on a whole speech about how much Jess meant to her. Not even a tear. Right. And Jess is just angry.
01:08:30
Speaker
Yeah. Uh, Jess turns around and miss Edmunds is there and she's the only one that kind of has like a little teary eyes. This line hit though. She, uh, Jess is like, Hey, next time we go, we got to invite Leslie. She liked that. That shit hit. That shit really did hit. That was sad as shit, dude. Sad as fuck. Like a little, not a little choked up, but like, you know,
01:08:57
Speaker
i was just I was just still recovering from shock of like the turn. like ah You're telling me that like it's almost like he hasn't come to the realization that she's gone, you know? No, he hasn't acknowledged it at this point.
01:09:13
Speaker
Um, so then we, you see, it's just like a, it's like a compilation of just like, even the music class, they're all singing and Jess is like just head in his hands, not having it. And then someone tries to fuck with them and Jess just punches him in the mouth. It might be Hager. Yeah. Like he's, and then the teacher monster mouth sends him outside. This fucking next part's wild.
01:09:41
Speaker
She's like, when my husband died, and she's fucking crying in the hallway, and he's not. He's just staring at her like blankly. Like, huh? Like, am I supposed to give a fuck that your husband's dead? My friend's dead. I wrote in the notes, uh.
01:09:56
Speaker
Monster mouth trauma bonds. jazz Yeah, it's crazy, dude. But I do think as wild as this scene is, it does help. um Just understand like, hey, it's OK to feel sad about this. It's OK to take your time and grieve this. It is. It does work in that way. Like everything will resolve in the end.
Coping with Loss and Building Bridges
01:10:19
Speaker
Yeah. Because you're like, if I felt that bad about it, I don't know I can't imagine how bad you felt. Right. The redheaded kid.
01:10:27
Speaker
is like trips him in the hallway like they normally really do. Yeah. And then Janice sees it. And then the next time you see this kid, he's holding like a napkin to his nose just and there's blood like pouring out of his nose for a Disney movie. A lot of blood. Yeah. Yeah. And it kind of reminded me of you when you busted your nose open. Nope. How is that relatable? Because he was a red headed kid and he had ah blood pouring out of his nose.
01:10:56
Speaker
All right. Fair enough. We'll save that store for a different podcast. I have indulged too much of my life on this goddamn episode. Okay. Um, fair enough. And then Janice and Jess are like, she sits next to him. She's like, Oh, like we're friends now. Basically they're like friends in some weird way. I think she kind of feels bad for him that, uh, Leslie died and obviously Leslie helped her get through sure what she was going through. Sure. So.
01:11:27
Speaker
Jess finally goes to, which is crazy to do so soon, goes to where Leslie died on the the the rope swings. He sees the rope snapped and there's a like a log that now is across it. Right. And he goes across it and he's across and he hears someone yelling his name and he thinks it's Leslie, but it's Bell, his sister who is stuck on the log. She's like, Oh, yeah, which is like bullshit. She's about to fall. Yeah, I don't buy that. No.
01:11:58
Speaker
And to me, this is... hear me out... Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man Redemption Arc-esque. Because he saves his sister. Also, he pushed his sister down yeah like after that. He's like, fuck you. His sister's like, six. She gets the worst of it, honestly. He's like, I said you can't come!
01:12:21
Speaker
Yeah. So she runs home crying and honestly, this kid does a very good job of like just being hysterical. I can't even say any words. It's just crying. So Jess goes back into terabithia or whatever's left of it. And he sees like the tree house and whatever else. And then he sees some being, which ends up being his father. Yeah. And I don't know if this scene is completely earned, but he's like, Oh, you know, I feel guilty. I'm going to go to hell because I let Leslie die.
01:12:51
Speaker
And as far as like, nah, dude, you're not going to go to hell. Yeah. Yeah. But this was a good scene because his father finally shows him some attention. Yeah. But it took like his best friend tragically dying to for any attention to come his way. i Yeah. No, you're right. You're right. But I don't know if it's earned because the religious.
01:13:13
Speaker
They only have one conversation about religion and that's really it. So I feel like it's kind of squeezed in there. Like they don't really do a good job. I know the movies for kids, but they don't do a good job showing how much religion plays a role in like Jess's family's life. Right. It's just kind of mentioned and that's it. So then the movie is kind of not over, but you know, Jess apologizes the belt for pushing her over. He makes a float with a drawing of Leslie on it pushes it down the river And then this scene made no sense Just chases Leslie parents because they move because that's too tragic to like live there make sense He chases this truck all the way down the street just to ask if he can use a lumber in their yard Fucking take it fucking take it dude. They look at the shit what bro? Oh poor. Right. So then he, he takes this lumber, right? Cause the, the whole, this really pissed me off. So this whole movie, right? Like the rope has been the bridge to terabithia, right? Like you use that to cross to get the terabithia. This fucking kid takes all this lumber and makes probably the most fantastic bridge I have ever seen, like full craftsmanship.
01:14:32
Speaker
They should have done a time ah warp or like speed ahead of like all the seasons happening because there's no way he just made it in like two days. No. We're talking like it's got a whole arch. It's got like railings with like inner lines. No way. like liness like no He can't do this. Like if it if it showed his dad helping him. Right. I would have understood. But him. Go ahead. Him doing it himself is not realistic at all.
01:15:00
Speaker
So at first, because they show him like making the sign, and I thought he was just building a sign that said like, do not cross or some shit like that. And then it turns out to be like a bridge into terabithia or whatever. So he goes to Bell and he's like, Oh, you're gonna be a princess now. And he takes You know, Bell over to Terabithia and then it goes really fantastical with their imagination and like turns the whole landscape into whatever they're imagining. Like all the creatures from Terabithia come out. He gets ah Janice troll crowns him as the king.
01:15:35
Speaker
Yeah, it's um and then it's like a happily ever after vibe. Right, but it's not happily ever after because your friends fucking dead. So. And the movie ends, yeah.
01:15:47
Speaker
What, where are you at with the rating on this? So I've gone back and forth before we recorded this. I was at a four. That's fucking no fucking way, dude. Come on, be real. So now I've dropped it down to a three. All right. So I'll tell you this before.
01:16:07
Speaker
Leslie died. I was at a half star half star. like I was gonna be a half fucking star. Yeah Leslie died the second half You know, we're not even second half the last quarter of the movie happened Yeah, the movie is an hour and 36 minutes and she dies. I like the hour mark Yeah, I mean she dies pretty deep into it. I'm up to a two star two star. Okay, what we fucking sucks, dude ah Not fucking sucks. It's just bad It's too there's too much cringe. There's too much They're jamming too much in a movie for me. We're watching this movie as two 26 year old men. Right. Two guys, one screen, two guys, one screen watching bridge the terabithia. So do you like what this movie wasn't obviously created for us. Right. But you, Oh, so you're saying she I grade on a scale like for kids. Yeah. Like what's your kids?
01:17:06
Speaker
Hey, relax yeah overla over there. My kids scale. one Hey, my bad dog. Here's my answer to that. I do not grade movies on like through a child's eyes because there are movies that exist that were made for children that adults can watch. Like the Incredibles, Ratatouille. Like they're a really great.
01:17:34
Speaker
animated movies that we watched as children that you can still watch some adult and be like this is fucking amazing true because they don't yeah They don't go the cringe route and the message is still good. Yeah You know, I think the message here is a little jumbled especially killing her killing Leslie off towards the end like they could have really lean leaned into the the grief of it all and the What does God think of me now kind of deal? Yeah, but instead they do a bunch of cringy activities and then I don't know. The cringe really ruins it for me more than anything else. it's what Yeah. This is probably the cringiest movie that Disney's made that I've seen. So I have a couple of movie suggestions, a couple are a long shot, but I have four suggestions. Okay. Do you want to go or do you want me to go first?
01:18:22
Speaker
ah I'll say one of the movies that I thought was a series of unfortunate events That's a good fucking pull dude. Boom. and He's good, too yeah dude was great Yeah, dude, it's got the fin like, you know the fantasy element, but you know, it actually fucking happens and it's serious Yeah, and it really leans into the pedophilia of it all ah whoa and Jim. That's not why it's good engine carries great Yeah, Jim carries go did Got any more I put um Maybe it's just because it's Josh Hutcherson as well in this movie is amazing, but Zathora. I haven't
Comparative Movie Discussions
01:18:58
Speaker
seen that. What? Dude, that was an ad on so many of my DVDs as a kid. Yeah, dude, you've never seen Zathora? No. Man, it's like Jumanji, but in space. Should we do it for the pod? Fuck yeah. Let us know. Fuck yeah. Let us know in the in the comments, email us, whatever you want to do. It's literally Zathora in space. It's amazing. So it's funny you mentioned Jumanji because Jumanji was one of mine. Okay.
01:19:22
Speaker
Because it's like the... it's um It's not imagination because it's actually happening. But the OG Jumanji with Robin Williams is not the fucking new one. Yeah, no. Chronicles of Narnia. That's like actually a real world. Yeah, I could see. What if if they focused only on the actual Terabithia aspect? It's just Narnia. Honestly. But Narnia feels a lot more serious. And James McAvoy's in it, so that's great. He's so fucking good in everything he does.
01:19:50
Speaker
And then these well, this one's real um role models. It's a it's a comedy never heard of it role models is a film about a guy that gets stuck with the dude who is ah What's his name from super bad Oh, McLovin? Yeah, the guy that plays McLovin, Christopher Mintz. Okay. Christopher Mintz Plassie, or Plass. I don't know, I'm sorry. His name is Augie in this movie, and he's a part of a role-playing, like, Renaissance-type deal, like, LARPing. Yes, like that. okay And then I forget what happens, but ah Paul Rudd gets stuck with him.
01:20:29
Speaker
And like they end up in this world and they, I forget what happens. It's a comedy. It's dumb, but it has to do with like the role playing imagination nonsense. Is it like a kids movie? No, it's a comedy. It got released in 2008, but it's for adults. Oh, okay. It's, it's fun. It's not great. It's fun though. Uh, last two. Well, I'll say that one. The, another movie. If you want to talk, if you want to watch an adult film, not an adult film. Whoa. who whoa A film not made for kids and not made by Disney. There's an A24 project out there called The Florida Project. that show I mean, it's really good. It showcases the loss of innocence in children, or actually, honestly, trying to maintain it. It has Willem Dafoe, who's amazing in it. Very, very good. I gave it five out of five on Letterboxd. It's a fantastic.
01:21:21
Speaker
The Florida Project. And in the last one, this is just to be funny. If you like watching movies about getting lost in the woods, the Blair Witch Project.
01:21:36
Speaker
ah Oh, boy. oh That has nothing to do with this film. But they get lost in the woods. I i have one more. Go ahead. And it's Oz the Great and Powerful.
01:21:51
Speaker
That movie good. Yeah, it's not bad man with James Franco. Yeah, I I saw that he is my dad. It's not terrible um But if you want to go like the Oz route, I'm not gonna say the original Wizard of Oz um But return to Oz It was a That recent? No, like 80s. Uh, it was a unofficial sequel to the Wizard of Oz, but it was made by Disney and it has like the whole fantasy aspects and it's kind of scary. Oh my God. I'm not going to lie. All right. It's a good poll. I've never seen it. It's streaming a Disney plus and don't try and find the Blu-ray cause it's out of print and very expensive. That's why you should collect physical media.
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
01:22:42
Speaker
All right, I think that's an episode. Damn sure is. ah get So I'm out of two, you're out of three. Watch it, don't watch it. This movie has a physical release, I'm guessing, right? It must. Yeah, it does. It has a Blu-ray. It's like fucking under $10. I would not spend, i'm I'm never buying it, but I wouldn't spend more than seven bucks on that. If I see it for five bucks, I'll buy it. I'm not buying anything more. Yeah.
01:23:06
Speaker
What would just say it again letterbox accounts our new social media page on Instagram, which is what two guys one screen pod on Instagram and Feel free to email us as we said a couple times two guys one screen pod at gmail dot.com Let us know what other childhood movie should we watch? ah That you think will either like or absolutely despise And yeah, we'll link all that in the description. Feel free to email us, comment, like, subscribe, give us a review. We desperately need it. We do. And until next time, we'll talk to you. Toodles.