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BONUS EPISODE! Who You Callin Karen?
47 Plays3 months ago
Meet your hosts on this bonus episode of the YCCMK pod! Go behind the scenes and get a peek into the lives of your girls Karen, Steph, and Manni.
We will be back with regularly scheduled episodes next week!
As always - a big thank you to Steve Olszewski for the art and images, Calid B and SJ Fadeaway for the musical mixings, and huge credit to Malvina Reynolds (writer) and Schroder Music Co. (ASCAP) (publisher) of the song “Little Boxes”.
Recommended
Transcript
Meet the Hosts of 'You Can Call Me Karen'
00:00:00
karenstansfield
Hello, hello, and welcome to a little bonus episode where we will get to know the You Can Call Me Karen hosts. This is Karen. I've got Manika Rosa.
00:00:14
karenstansfield
I never can decide whether to call you Manny or Manika.
00:00:14
Stephanie Jay
Thank
00:00:19
karenstansfield
And Stephanie J. And we're going for full names today. And we are excited to tell you a little bit about ourselves.
00:00:38
Stephanie Jay
you.
Buckeye Dance Force and Friendship
00:00:52
karenstansfield
All right, welcome to our little special bonus where we're just gonna go through some questions and share a little bit about ourselves so everyone has a better understanding of who you're listening to on a weekly basis, hopefully a weekly basis.
00:01:08
karenstansfield
um
00:01:08
Stephanie Jay
Yeah.
00:01:09
karenstansfield
So as a reminder, I think it was our dance episode. Steph mentioned that the three of us met at Ohio State on the dance team. At the time, it was known as the Buckeye Dance Force, which was pretty intense. Now the Ohio State dance team. um And since then,
00:01:28
karenstansfield
We have been friends for, gosh, I think over 20 years now.
00:01:33
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah.
00:01:33
karenstansfield
We have seen each other get married. We've seen each other start families. Bless you.
00:01:40
Mannikka Rosa
any
00:01:40
karenstansfield
ah We have traveled together. We have grown careers. We have become strong, independent, not dependent.
00:01:51
Mannikka Rosa
Black women.
Stephanie's Journey to Ohio State
00:01:55
karenstansfield
Some of us, some of us have.
00:01:58
Mannikka Rosa
a
00:01:59
karenstansfield
And today I thought, we thought it would be great to just share a little bit more about who we are, both individually and collectively. So I will get us going then and put you on the spot, Steph, and tell us a little bit about where you're from originally and like your family, like your parents, your siblings. What what did that look like growing up?
00:02:26
Stephanie Jay
Well, hello. Um, so I'm originally from Columbus, Ohio. Um, I was so obviously I didn't go far to go to Ohio State. And, um, so my parents had me and I had, um, have a younger brother named Steven who by the way, did our music.
00:02:46
Stephanie Jay
Um, Steven.
00:02:47
karenstansfield
Shout out, Steven.
00:02:50
Mannikka Rosa
Whoo!
00:02:51
Stephanie Jay
Um, and so, yeah, grew up you know, two parents' home, younger brother. um When I was a sophomore, my parents got divorced.
00:03:02
Stephanie Jay
And then um I went to Ohio State and met y'all, the loves of my life. And my parents also then met loves of their lives.
00:03:09
karenstansfield
Okay.
00:03:11
Stephanie Jay
So my mom then remarried. I had, so I have a couple of step-siblings. My dad remarried, they had so I have a couple half
Manika's Path from Maryland to Ohio State
00:03:20
Stephanie Jay
siblings. But um if you're asking like what my home, like how I grew up, I definitely grew up with just like one younger brother, two parents, for the most of my childhood.
00:03:29
Stephanie Jay
And my brother and I are super close. He went to Ohio State because he had no choice, and we're all kind of diehard Buckeyes.
00:03:37
Mannikka Rosa
okay
00:03:38
Stephanie Jay
And um just, yeah, so.
00:03:42
karenstansfield
Awesome. Manny, same question.
00:03:45
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah. Um, I love like they had no choice. You know, I try to, I feel like that with my kids, but I don't know, they might disappoint me.
00:03:50
Stephanie Jay
see
00:03:54
Stephanie Jay
No.
00:03:55
Mannikka Rosa
um
00:04:00
karenstansfield
um There's no way all of our kids make us happy with that.
00:04:03
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah, I know.
00:04:04
Stephanie Jay
yeah
00:04:05
Mannikka Rosa
Although I feel like our our most recent reunion like did kind of solidify that. I swear today, I heard Miles being like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
00:04:16
karenstansfield
No.
00:04:19
Mannikka Rosa
I was like, duh.
00:04:20
Stephanie Jay
yeah
00:04:23
Mannikka Rosa
OK, so that's Ohio State, like, how far am I friendship, Carmen Ohio intro, for those of you who are maybe Michigan fans not listening anymore.
00:04:23
Stephanie Jay
nothing
00:04:31
Mannikka Rosa
Um.
00:04:35
Stephanie Jay
Don't, don't hang up!
00:04:35
Mannikka Rosa
alum
00:04:36
karenstansfield
ah Keep listening.
00:04:37
Stephanie Jay
Don't hang up!
00:04:40
Mannikka Rosa
So I grew up in Maryland. So I did not know anything about this big like university when I was growing up. University of Maryland um was the only college that I was really exposed to at a young age.
00:04:55
Mannikka Rosa
And it's cute compared to Ohio State.
00:04:59
karenstansfield
ki
00:05:01
Mannikka Rosa
It's cute. That little stadium's cute. um We were big NFL fans in my house growing up. My mom particularly loves football, so that's how I got into football. um My brother played peewee football growing up. um I have an older brother who's six years older than me and an older sister who's 12 years older than me.
00:05:22
Mannikka Rosa
and ah two older brothers who have been like out of my life um ah since I was born just you know they but they were in the they were in the prison system and we just never were able to really like establish a firm relationship because they're like 14 or 15 years older than me so um we live different lifetimes but my brother and my sister were in the house and my brother played pb football I did not want to be a cheerleader on the sideline I wanted to be next to my mom and the other parents like hyping them up and with their cowbells being all obnoxious like yeah um So that like planted the seed for me of like when I go off to school I want to go to like ah college that has like a good football program What you might have wanted to go because of marine biology.
00:05:51
Stephanie Jay
No.
00:05:52
karenstansfield
That sounds right.
00:05:55
Stephanie Jay
No, no, no, no.
00:06:10
Mannikka Rosa
I wanted to go to see ah call it a good college football rivalry
00:06:13
Stephanie Jay
green
00:06:15
Mannikka Rosa
ah So I don't know, we all have our own paths. But I started dancing when I was three. um Dancing for me was always very therapeutic, um particularly when I turned eight and um my dad passed away. um And from that point on, I really just used ah dancing as a coping mechanism and it carried me many places.
00:06:40
Mannikka Rosa
particularly one summer I got to be a um ah dance instructor who went around the country or mainly the east coast and some of the midwest uh teaching dance camps and that's when I fell onto Ohio State's campus and there was a girl on my team who was already in Ohio State on the cheer team um for Ohio State I think she was on the club team and she took me around was like this is probably where like you want to go to school and I was like
00:07:07
karenstansfield
Aww.
00:07:08
Mannikka Rosa
after walking around campus i was like yeah this is probably like where and when i want to go to school um so anyway that uh like in a nutshell there were there's you know some some other stuff in there but um to keep with the time i'm going to ask you karen like what was your household like going up and
00:07:10
Stephanie Jay
yeah
00:07:18
Stephanie Jay
Yeah.
Karen's Ohio State Connection
00:07:24
Mannikka Rosa
where are you from but you guys are assholes and you only talk about yourselves and you never want to hear about me
00:07:24
karenstansfield
Yeah, first of all, I feel ashamed to know that I didn't know that story about how you stumbled on Ohio State.
00:07:31
Stephanie Jay
you need there? I didn't need it.
00:07:32
karenstansfield
I feel like I should have known that.
00:07:35
Stephanie Jay
then
00:07:37
karenstansfield
Yeah, yeah, which is why we have a podcast, more listening to ourselves talk.
00:07:41
Stephanie Jay
information
00:07:43
karenstansfield
um Yeah, so I am from the suburbs of Chicago. um I yeah have one older sister, my parents,
00:07:55
karenstansfield
I guess we're a little bit behind on the times when they named us. So it's Linda and Karen.
00:08:03
karenstansfield
Oh, it's never not funny.
00:08:06
Mannikka Rosa
And your husband's name is
00:08:08
karenstansfield
Bob.
00:08:09
Stephanie Jay
Thank you so much.
00:08:09
Mannikka Rosa
Hahaha.
00:08:13
karenstansfield
Everyone's favorite aunt and uncle. Here comes Auntie Karen and Uncle Bob. Yes. it's it's ah It's a real hit with my son's birth family. they They find that very entertaining. Anywho.
00:08:29
karenstansfield
um Yeah, grew up in the suburbs. Let's see, I came into dance in high school so I figure skated when I was young ah for like seven years um and then that got too expensive for us to maintain and I tried out for the dance team when I got to high school because my sister had done that and she was like just bringing me along for the ride.
00:08:53
karenstansfield
And it worked. I figured it out. I got pretty good at it. I sent in a tape to try out for Ohio State and by some miracle, they let me join you all.
00:09:00
Mannikka Rosa
Oh
00:09:05
karenstansfield
So that's how I found my way.
00:09:07
Mannikka Rosa
so deserving.
00:09:09
karenstansfield
Well, you're very kind, but ah Yeah, that's how I found my way to Ohio State. My dad actually was like, he spent a little bit of time growing up in Ohio and so he was always an Ohio State fan and I wanted to get a away from Chicago for a while. So that looked like fun and it was. um And so on this note actually of Ohio State,
00:09:33
karenstansfield
um what i I guess I'll flip up the order, Manny, to you first.
Manny's Academic Journey
00:09:38
karenstansfield
What did you major in at Ohio State and does that ah align with what you do today? So tell us what you do today as well.
00:09:48
Mannikka Rosa
um So I majored in criminology, minored in women's studies and
00:09:53
karenstansfield
Yes, obviously.
00:09:55
Mannikka Rosa
yeah
00:09:56
Stephanie Jay
Mm-hm.
00:09:58
Mannikka Rosa
And who didn't minor in women's studies? um And um I today have my own educational consulting business. So yeah, they align.
00:10:09
Stephanie Jay
and
00:10:11
Mannikka Rosa
Do the math.
00:10:14
karenstansfield
um I feel like I knew you majored in criminology, but like yeah now that you say those words out loud, that's kind of entertaining.
00:10:23
Mannikka Rosa
To be fair, all of my classes before um like you can go and do FBI type stuff were sociology classes so that's why I say that yeah they align because like all the classes that I was taking was on data statistics.
00:10:31
Stephanie Jay
Mm-hmm.
00:10:37
Mannikka Rosa
um generally generalizing populations and watching um how different groups of people move about in society, you know? Like, that is what I do today, you know?
00:10:48
Mannikka Rosa
So I was kind of joking, but not, you know?
00:10:48
karenstansfield
No, that's cool.
00:10:50
Mannikka Rosa
Because, like, all those sociology classes really did, like, help frame the work that I do today.
00:10:50
Stephanie Jay
i Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:10:56
karenstansfield
Love that.
00:10:57
Stephanie Jay
Yeah, I for some reason thought you majored in sociology because you took a lot of sociology classes. So that's what I thought your major was.
00:11:06
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah, i don't think i think I think it's different now.
00:11:07
Stephanie Jay
I don't know you at all.
00:11:10
Mannikka Rosa
I don't think they have like criminology major now.
00:11:10
karenstansfield
Hmm.
00:11:12
Mannikka Rosa
I think it is sociology major, but at that time it was like criminology.
00:11:13
Stephanie Jay
I don't care.
00:11:18
Stephanie Jay
Also, I just wanted to say a couple things. First of all, Manny, when you said that we didn't know you, I just would like to point out when you first met, dear Noah, sorry about to tell you.
00:11:33
Stephanie Jay
I literally, literally, when trying to strike up conversations with Manny, I had three separate instances of which she basically blew me off.
00:11:44
Stephanie Jay
Like, like, what?
00:11:45
Mannikka Rosa
What?
00:11:48
Stephanie Jay
Like, when, when we're getting on the bus, she was auditioning for the team.
00:11:48
Mannikka Rosa
Oh my god.
00:11:52
Stephanie Jay
We're met at the bus stop and I was like, Hey, so you're trying out for the dance team.
00:11:55
karenstansfield
Good
00:11:56
Stephanie Jay
And you were like, Mm-hmm. And I'm like, it's just know so, so short.
00:12:02
karenstansfield
talk.
00:12:04
Stephanie Jay
Then she does, she makes the dance team and I'm like, me Minika, your name is Minika.
00:12:05
karenstansfield
Oh.
00:12:10
Stephanie Jay
And my middle name is Amika. Isn't that crazy? Mm-hmm.
00:12:17
Stephanie Jay
Okay, good talk!
00:12:23
karenstansfield
Yeah, she's been a bitch from the start.
00:12:25
Stephanie Jay
I like, gosh, I just try to this might just be that.
00:12:26
Mannikka Rosa
No! Wow! Oh god.
00:12:34
Stephanie Jay
But whatever! I'm just kidding.
00:12:36
Mannikka Rosa
I was so scared. I'm also a huge introvert.
00:12:39
karenstansfield
la
00:12:41
Mannikka Rosa
like I just am like an internal processor. This episode is actually stressing me out the most because I don't have the questions.
00:12:52
Stephanie Jay
Mm-hmm.
00:12:56
Mannikka Rosa
You were also two years older than me.
00:12:58
Stephanie Jay
Mm-hmm.
00:12:59
Mannikka Rosa
And I was, I wasn't even allowed to go to Fort Kegs.
00:13:01
Stephanie Jay
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:13:03
Mannikka Rosa
Remember, I didn't, I didn't even turn, I was still 17 when classes started.
00:13:06
karenstansfield
Oh my gosh. Yes. Didn't we sneak you in there?
00:13:10
karenstansfield
Didn't we like pull you over the fence or whatever to get in camp?
00:13:10
Mannikka Rosa
Yes.
00:13:13
Mannikka Rosa
Yes. Oh, that was camp. It was camp. I was 18 when school started, but it was camp, the week of camp.
00:13:17
Stephanie Jay
yeah
00:13:17
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:13:19
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah. So like, I was intimidated.
00:13:20
Stephanie Jay
hey
00:13:23
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:13:23
Mannikka Rosa
And my way of showing that was pretty, like,
00:13:24
karenstansfield
Oh, you like ironed my hair. Do you remember that?
00:13:29
Mannikka Rosa
You let a 17-year-old iron in your hair.
00:13:29
karenstansfield
Oh, Yeah, I mean, who didn't?
00:13:33
Mannikka Rosa
You trusted me.
00:13:34
Stephanie Jay
he
00:13:35
karenstansfield
I don't know. I was like, she seems cool. What could go wrong?
00:13:39
Mannikka Rosa
Oh, sorry.
00:13:41
Stephanie Jay
Oh man.
00:13:41
karenstansfield
Oh, okay. Let's stay on topic here, guys.
00:13:44
Mannikka Rosa
Sorry.
00:13:44
Stephanie Jay
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:13:44
karenstansfield
Stop distracting me.
00:13:44
Mannikka Rosa
We're all ready. That was good memory-laying stuff. I'm sorry about that. Former Monica apologizes for that rudeness.
00:13:53
karenstansfield
While you're commiserate or wallowing in in your sadness of being rejected by Manny, can you tell us about what you majored in and what you do today?
Stephanie's Career Transition
00:14:04
Stephanie Jay
Well, i my bachelor's degree is in psychology with a minor in dance.
00:14:13
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah.
00:14:14
karenstansfield
This is amazing.
00:14:16
Stephanie Jay
and know And so, yeah. um And then I worked for like Abbott Labs and I was like an account manager for eight years, seven years.
00:14:32
Stephanie Jay
It was seven years. um And so just kind of like. business to business, accounts receivable, logistics, blah, blah, blah. So that had absolutely nothing to do with my degree. And then I kind of realized this type of work is not for me.
00:14:47
Stephanie Jay
um I want to connect more. So I went back to school um and got my teaching license. And so um I'm a licensed middle school teacher.
00:14:57
Stephanie Jay
I'm licensed to teach math and English. And this is now year 10 of teaching. So I taught eighth grade.
00:15:03
Mannikka Rosa
Wow.
00:15:05
Stephanie Jay
and I now teach sixth grade and I also am a dance teacher so I teach part-time at a dance studio here in Columbus and it's the owner of the studio was my dance teacher growing up which is funny because when I introduced myself I didn't say anything about how dance like how I fell into dancing which is so crazy um But my dance teacher growing up was very influential to me and um I just always stayed in contact with her and one day I reached out just to say hello and she was like, I need a dance teacher.
00:15:41
Stephanie Jay
And I was like, oh, ah i okay. And hearing um this is year 17 at the studio.
00:15:46
karenstansfield
yeah
00:15:49
Stephanie Jay
So, um yeah.
00:15:49
Mannikka Rosa
wow
00:15:53
karenstansfield
That's crazy.
00:15:53
Stephanie Jay
So no, my degree that had nothing, absolutely nothing. My Ohio State degree has nothing to do with um anything that I'm doing. I guess I minored in dance, there's that.
00:16:01
Mannikka Rosa
Wow Yeah And I'm sure you do some psychology with your students Jedi mind tricks
00:16:02
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:16:02
Stephanie Jay
so So there you go.
00:16:07
Stephanie Jay
Oh yeah, you know what you know what's funny but with my psychology degree, I didn't have to take any psych courses um for my teacher license, which was part of my my whatever.
00:16:16
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah.
00:16:20
Stephanie Jay
um Karen.
00:16:20
Mannikka Rosa
Certification.
00:16:21
Stephanie Jay
Certification, yes.
00:16:23
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah.
00:16:23
Stephanie Jay
I learned a lot in my whatever.
00:16:24
karenstansfield
My whatever.
00:16:26
Mannikka Rosa
Whatever we want to call it these days.
Karen's Career in Business
00:16:30
Stephanie Jay
Karen, how about you tell us about what you majored in and how that impacted what you do now?
00:16:36
karenstansfield
Yeah, I guess I'm the anomaly here. So I majored in business, specifically operations management. I minored in Spanish, although I kind of forgot about that until you both said minors and I realized, oh, I have one of those too.
00:16:51
Mannikka Rosa
and
00:16:52
karenstansfield
Um, and I am now in business. So I am in the consulting world. I have, I have jumped around like back and forth between consulting and various business roles, but always in like supply chain and procurement type roles. So, and I got an MBA, which kind of silly, but I did. So that's me.
00:17:19
Mannikka Rosa
Well, while we're talking about masters, no, I'm just kidding.
00:17:23
karenstansfield
No, we don't care about your master, it shut up. um
00:17:27
Mannikka Rosa
I have two. I have two.
00:17:29
Stephanie Jay
that
00:17:30
karenstansfield
We had to make up for criminology, you know, so.
00:17:32
Stephanie Jay
a
00:17:35
Stephanie Jay
oh
00:17:35
Mannikka Rosa
ah
00:17:36
Stephanie Jay
okay
00:17:36
Mannikka Rosa
i did go I did go back and get degrees in education, everybody. I did.
00:17:40
Stephanie Jay
ah
00:17:41
Mannikka Rosa
Two of them. Damn it.
00:17:44
Stephanie Jay
her
00:17:46
karenstansfield
Okay, on to the next.
Stephanie's Family Life
00:17:49
karenstansfield
um Now that we've caught up with where you're from, where you went to school, how we met, and what you do, tell us about, I'm starting with you this time Steph, your well your current family, your partner, your children.
00:18:04
Mannikka Rosa
i so Sorry, not to interrupt, but I was going to say, tell us who you're currently fucking.
00:18:10
Stephanie Jay
know
00:18:15
karenstansfield
Why did you lead this episode?
00:18:20
karenstansfield
good Manny's like, I'm the uncomfortable introvert.
00:18:22
Stephanie Jay
like
00:18:27
Stephanie Jay
that part you guys here's why this kills me is
00:18:28
Mannikka Rosa
Well now that we know each other, but yes, it doesn't make you feel very antsy not knowing where we're going. okay
00:18:37
karenstansfield
Stop who you fucking.
00:18:47
Stephanie Jay
My husband would be so mortified by that question.
00:18:50
karenstansfield
yeah
00:18:52
Stephanie Jay
Like, he would be so, um, but I'd be back in my booth.
00:18:56
karenstansfield
No.
00:18:57
Stephanie Jay
Nah, I'm just kidding. Um. So my husband, Steve, he's like the greatest guy. um I met him. He worked with um one of my friends that I've had since middle school. They worked at the same office and she had a Memorial Day barbecue and invited coworkers and then friends. And she literally like was like, the friends were kind of staying with the friends and the work people were staying with the work people. And she was like, you guys need to mix it up. She was like, Steph,
00:19:27
Stephanie Jay
get over there and hang out with my co-workers like this is ridiculous like middle school and so we all kind of sat in a big circle and kind of hung out and I remember meeting him but um he you know was enamored because I'm amazing and so we gained information this was like what seven years ago and then um started dating and got married like two years later or three years later I don't know Um, but he's just the best and I love him and I'm feel very lucky.
00:19:56
Stephanie Jay
And we have, um, a two year old, um, little Quinn. She's cutie and she also is a toddler. So she's also not cute sometimes.
00:20:12
Stephanie Jay
Um, and PS, she started dancing.
00:20:12
karenstansfield
know
00:20:15
Stephanie Jay
and it is my favorite thing ever because she loves it and i just hope that she sticks with it because it's been so special to me so that's my little family oh yeah lots
00:20:16
karenstansfield
oh
00:20:25
karenstansfield
ah For our listeners, that little baby popped out of the womb doing like perfect turned out splits. So we all have very high hopes for this one.
00:20:34
Stephanie Jay
of high hopes
00:20:34
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah.
00:20:37
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah.
00:20:38
karenstansfield
All right, Miss Manny, same to you.
Manika's Family and Move to New Jersey
00:20:40
karenstansfield
Tell us about your fam, your boo.
00:20:42
Mannikka Rosa
Um, so my, who was that name?
00:20:43
karenstansfield
Who you fucking?
00:20:46
Mannikka Rosa
It's the same, that the answer is the same to this, to my, my husband and who I'm fucking. Just, it's the word clear.
00:20:53
karenstansfield
Oh, it's the same.
00:20:55
Stephanie Jay
We're clear.
00:20:55
karenstansfield
Okay, cool. Good for you. Good for you.
00:20:57
Stephanie Jay
Yes, good.
00:20:59
karenstansfield
Keeping it, keeping it clean.
00:21:00
Mannikka Rosa
Um, Yeah, we're keeping it clean over here. Although, you know, if that's what you like to do as you it's consensual. um so So my husband, too, is lovely and gentle and kind. um We met working um at the first school that I started working at in Northern Virginia. um He was social studies teacher in social studies department, so was I. um And we also taught student government together, which meant that we were sharing a classroom because we were co-teachers.
00:21:35
Mannikka Rosa
um And he was actually um supposed to get married. And um him he he did get married, actually. And it didn't end up working out. And so I got to watch him go through a divorce. And that was really tough um because it was, as you can imagine, like pretty pretty hard to deal with. And so during that time, I i did not like him very much. um Because I i i'm um and don't know, again, I was raised by a single mother, so we kind of didn't have a lot of time to
00:22:06
Stephanie Jay
and
00:22:15
Mannikka Rosa
um uh show up to work and have feelings and so i kind of placed that expectations on other people um i'm realizing but uh so during that time i was just starting out my career my career was everything to me i didn't have kids and uh i just was not patient with him but one night we went out with some friends and um i got to see him in a different light and um we started uh hanging out a little bit more looking at And we had our ah first daughter named Brielle.
00:22:20
karenstansfield
Oh.
00:22:49
Mannikka Rosa
And Brielle is a beautiful blessing. And she was the first a child to be ah initiated into the Buckeye Dance Force family who makes her super special.
00:23:00
Stephanie Jay
and Yeah,
00:23:00
karenstansfield
Yes, that's an important generation.
00:23:01
Stephanie Jay
mm-hmm
00:23:04
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah. um And then I want to say like three or four years later, it was like, you know, shit or get off the pot kind of situation for both of us. Like, you know, what are we doing? And we um realized that we really love each other and we wanted to commit our lives together. So we got married in St. Lucia in August of 2015. Two years later, we had our second child, Millie.
00:23:35
Mannikka Rosa
And um then we decided we were educators and able to live wherever we wanted to. So we were looking for houses and in February of 2020, we landed on our dream home in New Jersey and we signed a deal.
00:23:55
Mannikka Rosa
And then a month later, COVID happened, housing went crazy.
00:23:58
karenstansfield
Oh my gosh.
00:24:00
Mannikka Rosa
And also we found out we were pregnant with our third child, Miles. So, um, uh, that like a little bit of changes.
00:24:05
Stephanie Jay
Oh.
00:24:07
karenstansfield
Just a couple things going on.
00:24:12
Mannikka Rosa
Um, so yep, Miles was born July 2020 during COVID, which was weird. Um, but, uh, he is the definite punctuation mark to our family.
00:24:20
karenstansfield
a
00:24:25
Mannikka Rosa
We are good. We are done. Miles has brought us the life that we were like, OK, boys are different.
00:24:34
Stephanie Jay
Mm hmm.
00:24:37
karenstansfield
Yeah. Yes, they are.
00:24:38
Mannikka Rosa
And we're we're finally kind of opening up to um a new phase of parenting where our kids are a little bit more self-sufficient. So, Stephanie, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's going to be another couple of years, but you were almost free.
00:24:54
Stephanie Jay
minute and Until you're not.
00:24:55
Mannikka Rosa
You're almost free.
00:24:55
karenstansfield
Until, you know, until you're not.
00:24:57
Mannikka Rosa
until the other stuff freaks up. Yeah, but each phase of parenting is it's hard.
00:24:58
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:24:59
Stephanie Jay
Mm hmm.
00:25:01
Mannikka Rosa
And yeah, I'm happy that I have a very supportive partner who um adores me, adores our home and adores our children. And yeah, we we we I remember when we first met his parents, you know, um when I first met his parents, they they gave me a hug goodbye and they said, just be kind to each other.
00:25:21
karenstansfield
Hmm.
00:25:24
Mannikka Rosa
That was it, that was their ice and I've just carried that with me ever since and I've watched them do the same to one another and it makes sense now why my husband's the way that you, Jane?
00:25:27
Stephanie Jay
Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh.
00:25:35
karenstansfield
I know so adorable.
00:25:36
Stephanie Jay
That just melts in my heart.
00:25:37
karenstansfield
It's obnoxious work All of us Yeah, we are gonna be getting it down getting it down I don't think
00:25:39
Mannikka Rosa
And we're celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary next year in New York City and we're so excited.
00:25:40
Stephanie Jay
Wow.
00:25:43
Stephanie Jay
I can't wait.
00:25:47
Mannikka Rosa
All of us together, dance part, talk about social dancing, love it.
00:25:51
Stephanie Jay
Yeah. have
00:25:54
Mannikka Rosa
a
00:25:55
Stephanie Jay
Getting it down is, that's how you say it now.
00:25:56
Mannikka Rosa
Get down with the get down.
00:25:59
Stephanie Jay
I want to be getting it down.
00:26:00
Mannikka Rosa
but
00:26:01
Stephanie Jay
and thank you
00:26:05
karenstansfield
All right, I will round us out and then we'll get to the good question. ah So I live in Chicago now with my husband Bob and my beautiful son
Karen's Family and Adoption Journey
00:26:21
karenstansfield
Maxwell. He is six. Bob and I adopted him locally so we have a Not traditional, I would say, household where ah we keep up with his birth family, ah both his birth mom and birth dad. I was actually telling my lovely co-hosts about a baby shower that we went to ah last week, I want to say, on his birth dad's side and met another one of his brothers. I met his dad for the first time, so that's my son's birth grandfather. I know it gets a little confusing. There's a lot of people to keep track of in this household. but
00:26:58
karenstansfield
It's beautiful. And I wouldn't want it any other way. um And I love that our kiddo will have the access to his birth family that he will um undoubtedly need one day.
00:27:11
karenstansfield
So it's kind of lovely how how close everyone is. and ah And Bob and I have been married for almost, you guys, 15 years, 15 years in like two weeks.
00:27:19
Stephanie Jay
All right, let's go.
00:27:21
Mannikka Rosa
Wow.
00:27:23
karenstansfield
Yeah, and I've known him since I was in seventh or eighth grade. It's still, I'm not, I know it's so crazy.
00:27:27
Mannikka Rosa
Wow.
00:27:30
karenstansfield
um Yeah, so we dated a little bit in high school school and broke up for for college, most of college, but we both went to Ohio State and found our way back to each other. So here we are.
00:27:43
karenstansfield
um We're so adorable.
00:27:43
Mannikka Rosa
so So cute.
00:27:46
Stephanie Jay
you.
00:27:47
karenstansfield
um
00:27:47
Mannikka Rosa
You guys really are.
00:27:48
karenstansfield
But now before we wrap up, I want to um put you all on the spot. And if you need a minute, I can share mine first. Funniest memory together.
00:27:59
Mannikka Rosa
Thank
00:28:00
karenstansfield
Uh, it could be the three of us together, or it could just be like one-on-one. Um, I have made a list. So if you, if you want me to kick us off, I will gladly do that.
00:28:08
Stephanie Jay
all my
00:28:13
Mannikka Rosa
Oh, yes, please.
00:28:13
karenstansfield
Um,
00:28:14
Mannikka Rosa
I want to hear you.
00:28:14
Stephanie Jay
Yes, please, yes.
00:28:14
Mannikka Rosa
But I do want to say it before we wrap, all of us kind of started had nonconventional moments in our families and generating these families, you know, like, Steph, you know, we, you were, you were so specific about the partner that you wanted, and you were so patient.
00:28:24
Stephanie Jay
Mm-hmm.
00:28:33
Mannikka Rosa
And
00:28:33
Stephanie Jay
Yeah.
00:28:34
Mannikka Rosa
you know, and it came to you when it came to you, you know, obviously, my my situation with Luke and and having our baby without being married first, which who cares and Karen you and you know what you were saying with your situation and just think it's so beautiful when you like meet the right person, it doesn't matter.
00:28:52
Mannikka Rosa
It doesn't matter. You just you just define it and it and it and it works.
00:28:53
karenstansfield
Mm-hmm.
00:28:57
Mannikka Rosa
So anyway, I just wanted to put that out there. It's nursing that
00:28:59
karenstansfield
And I do think it's proof that um i the whole theme of this pod is to ae bring us together instead of you know further divide us. And I think it's just it goes to show that what everybody will think of as normal is actually not normal.
00:29:16
karenstansfield
like There's not too many like just normal vanilla families.
00:29:16
Mannikka Rosa
Right.
00:29:17
Stephanie Jay
Okay.
00:29:20
karenstansfield
Everybody comes together in different ways.
00:29:20
Mannikka Rosa
Right.
00:29:22
karenstansfield
and um considers their family unit in different ways
00:29:24
Stephanie Jay
Okay.
Defining Family Uniquely
00:29:25
karenstansfield
and stuff.
00:29:26
karenstansfield
So I like that on on the surface, I look at you all and think like, oh, what, like a norm, you know, kind of normal family, but no, like everyone is, everyone has their things that make them unique.
00:29:35
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah.
00:29:37
Mannikka Rosa
Yes.
00:29:39
karenstansfield
So love that. Okay, onto the funny, and then we'll wrap up this bonus episode. So I will kick us off.
Humorous Anecdotes from the Past
00:29:45
karenstansfield
I have about 30 that I could call out, so we'll see how many we we want to get through. but the first one was um at so Manny's bachelorette party was in Chicago and I um i kind i kind of like you know I kind of hosted in the sense that like I'm the one that lives here and so I picked out the places and whatever we went ah towards the end of the night we went to this rooftop bar which was so fun and danced because that's what we like to do and at one point there's like this
00:30:00
Stephanie Jay
Oh my god.
00:30:20
Mannikka Rosa
That's okay.
00:30:22
karenstansfield
There was like this catwalk down the center of the dance floor. Manny's head is in her hands right now. um So there was like this catwalk, and I'm sure they had go-go dancers and stuff up there. It was not for people who were just like at the club. And um I think our server told us, like you can sit on it, but you're not allowed to like stand or dance on it. like They will kick you out if you do that. And we're like, OK, got it.
00:30:46
karenstansfield
No problem. We can handle this. We are big girls. So it towards the end of the night, we our feet are killing us because we're all in heels.
00:30:49
Mannikka Rosa
but
00:30:54
karenstansfield
We've been dancing our faces off. we I'm sitting next to Manny on this catwalk and she turns to me with all seriousness in her face. She's like, you ready to get kicked out?
00:31:08
karenstansfield
And I'm like, yes!
00:31:12
karenstansfield
So instantly she stands up, starts dancing on the catwalk as she is not supposed to do. The bouncer can see her from a flippin' mile away, comes kind of charging through the crowd, gets to her and is like standing below her and is like, you know, get down.
00:31:23
Mannikka Rosa
Okay. Okay.
00:31:31
karenstansfield
And Monika just throws her arms out and trust falls onto this man. I can't walk. He catches her like a rag doll and sets her down.
00:31:44
karenstansfield
And we didn't get kicked out. That's the best part. He was like, don't do that again. And I was I was sobbing.
00:31:49
Stephanie Jay
yeah thinking
00:31:51
karenstansfield
I oh my God, I it's still it's like burned in my brain. That image will never leave. It makes me so happy. I was just sobbing.
00:31:59
Stephanie Jay
That's
00:31:59
karenstansfield
It was the funniest and bravest thing in hindsight. Like you just you just trust fell on a complete strange Oh my god! ah One of my favorite memories.
00:32:11
Mannikka Rosa
Oh God, I think forgot about that one.
00:32:11
karenstansfield
I loved it so much.
00:32:13
Stephanie Jay
a good one.
00:32:13
Mannikka Rosa
That's good. That is a good one.
00:32:18
karenstansfield
You ready to get kicked out?
00:32:19
Mannikka Rosa
Oh man.
00:32:22
karenstansfield
So good.
00:32:24
Mannikka Rosa
Oh gosh, I love that.
00:32:25
Stephanie Jay
um
00:32:25
karenstansfield
So hopefully got that got your memories going, but I'm ready to hear some more.
00:32:28
Mannikka Rosa
Whoo, that did my cheeks My cheeks hurt.
00:32:31
Stephanie Jay
that actually sparked a memory of Monika for me.
00:32:36
Mannikka Rosa
um
00:32:36
karenstansfield
It's always mini.
00:32:40
Stephanie Jay
So we were at our friend Andrew's apartment and I think this was like post graduation. No, I don't know. Honestly, I don't know what the timeline was, but Yeah, I don't know what the timeline was, but I think that you were meeting Andrew for the first time, so then it wasn't post-graduation, I don't think.
00:33:00
Mannikka Rosa
Oh, God.
00:33:02
Stephanie Jay
But we were like, Andrew, this is Manny, Manny, this is Andrew, and then he does run to him, o into his arms.
00:33:12
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah.
00:33:12
karenstansfield
hahaha
00:33:16
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah.
00:33:16
Stephanie Jay
are like swinging like around like you had to like hold her and it was like circles and she was going oh oh and we were like so that's Danny and he was like okay
00:33:40
karenstansfield
like, oh, these memories. I could just see them so good.
00:33:44
Mannikka Rosa
Oh my god, jeez.
00:33:45
Stephanie Jay
No.
00:33:47
Mannikka Rosa
Well, I guess I'm a good time. um
00:33:49
Stephanie Jay
please look
00:33:52
karenstansfield
You're not so bad. You're not so bad.
00:33:55
Mannikka Rosa
Oh my god. Damn, how am I going to top these? i mine is ah Mine is a little bit more tame, but um I feel like this is like one of the pivotal moments like where like you know the universe just put you in the right place at the right time. I think, you know Karen, um you and Steph were really close in college. Me and you, were like we were friend adjacent. you know um But I think it was like post-college that we really, when we started doing these reunions, that we really started like hanging out.
00:34:21
Mannikka Rosa
And I think we were at Erica's house one night and um we were riding back, we were staying with Steph and we were riding in Steph's car and that song like, I don't talk with you, I just like.
00:34:35
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:34:35
Stephanie Jay
Oh!
00:34:37
karenstansfield
It's my anthem.
00:34:38
Mannikka Rosa
And we were Yes, and we We were like, we are a loving song!
00:34:39
Stephanie Jay
in
00:34:43
karenstansfield
but No, I had the lyrics just to be clear.
00:34:43
Mannikka Rosa
But we couldn't get the lyrics, you know?
00:34:48
Mannikka Rosa
Okay.
00:34:53
karenstansfield
hello
00:34:53
Mannikka Rosa
Like in true like step back she was like, you little motherfucking bitch. I'm not fucking with you. Like, like, we had like.
00:35:01
Stephanie Jay
but
00:35:04
karenstansfield
You still got them wrong. I'm just saying.
00:35:06
Mannikka Rosa
Whoa, is this wrong?
00:35:08
Stephanie Jay
know No, no, I knew it!
00:35:09
karenstansfield
You little stupid ass bitch.
00:35:11
Stephanie Jay
see
00:35:13
Mannikka Rosa
That was a fun car ride. And from then on, it was like, that's like our anthem.
00:35:16
karenstansfield
well
00:35:18
Mannikka Rosa
And we were like riding everywhere together.
00:35:18
Stephanie Jay
and
00:35:19
Mannikka Rosa
We were doing everything together from that moment on. I just ah just love that so much.
00:35:24
karenstansfield
I like to believe I'm not an angry person, but um those songs like that and like, bitch better have my money. Like I get, I really like some angry music to just <unk>ll let it all out.
00:35:32
Stephanie Jay
Oh,
00:35:33
Mannikka Rosa
God, love those.
00:35:36
Mannikka Rosa
Same face.
00:35:36
Stephanie Jay
yeah.
00:35:39
karenstansfield
All right, I have one last one ah to wrap it up.
00:35:41
Mannikka Rosa
OK.
00:35:43
karenstansfield
And I think that this is a really important one. It may have been told on this pod already, and I don't care.
00:35:49
Stephanie Jay
if
00:35:49
karenstansfield
Because if you didn't hear that episode, this is an important thing you need to know about us. So about two years ago, Steph and I and our families went and visited Manny and her family in New Jersey.
00:35:59
Mannikka Rosa
Oh God!
00:36:00
Stephanie Jay
oh
00:36:06
karenstansfield
You know where this is going.
00:36:06
Stephanie Jay
and Oh my God.
00:36:08
karenstansfield
um And we got a babysitter one night. We got a babysitter and we went out to dinner. And Manika drove us in her minivan, which she is very proud of.
00:36:18
Stephanie Jay
Her medium.
00:36:21
karenstansfield
And she was following the directions on the nav like a good, ah I don't know, driver would, I guess. And we're pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant that we're going to and Bob and I are sitting way in the back and all of a sudden Bob's like, um, is that the ocean?
00:36:41
Stephanie Jay
but
00:36:41
karenstansfield
And like Manny hits the brakes. We are moments from driving directly into the ocean. It's like one of those ramps where you can put a boat in. So nothing's stopping.
00:36:52
Mannikka Rosa
The restroom was on the water.
00:36:55
Stephanie Jay
yeah
00:36:55
karenstansfield
And on the map, it shows the blue, like there's blue on the map where the ocean is, but she was she was like genuinely ready to just drive us straight into the ocean.
00:37:06
Stephanie Jay
That's right.
00:37:10
karenstansfield
And it's so weird because otherwise you're such a good driver.
00:37:10
Stephanie Jay
oh
00:37:13
Stephanie Jay
Yeah, that whole trip, we were really comfortable with you driving us.
00:37:16
karenstansfield
So yeah no one feared for their life.
00:37:18
Stephanie Jay
We were loved our ride from the airport.
00:37:22
karenstansfield
Everything was fine.
00:37:23
Stephanie Jay
It was uneventful.
00:37:25
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah, so since then I've stopped picking up friends from the airport and I got glasses.
00:37:25
Stephanie Jay
Moving lanes on the freeway was uneventful.
00:37:35
karenstansfield
And we all survived to live another day until the tale.
00:37:38
Stephanie Jay
Oh, weird.
00:37:39
Mannikka Rosa
yeah
00:37:39
karenstansfield
But anyways, that is...
00:37:41
Mannikka Rosa
And that's our logo, our minivan logo.
00:37:43
Stephanie Jay
o Oh, yes.
00:37:45
karenstansfield
Yes, yes, full circle.
00:37:46
Mannikka Rosa
Further you can call me Karen.
00:37:50
karenstansfield
So thank you for listening to a bit about our hosts today. And we look forward to catching you on the next episode of You Can Call Me Karen.
00:37:59
Mannikka Rosa
Hope you enjoyed. Like and subscribe.
00:38:21
karenstansfield
And if you're loving listening to this podcast, please follow us on Instagram, like and subscribe. Thank you.