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BONUS EPISODE!! Can We Just Be Friends?
45 Plays4 months ago
Welcome to the You Can Call Me Karen Podcast! This week we are excited to share a bonus episode that continues our discussion of friendship from season 1. In this episode of our podcast, we explore the intriguing question: Is it possible to have platonic friendships with someone of the gender you're attracted to?We delve into the complexities of platonic relationships, examining the boundaries and dynamics that come into play when attraction is a possibility. Can true platonic friendships exist without romantic feelings getting in the way? Tune in for an eye-opening conversation on friendship, attraction, and the balance between the two.
As always - a big thank you to Steve Olszewski for the art and images, Calid B and SJ Fadeaway for the musical mixings, and huge credit to Malvina Reynolds (writer) and Schroder Music Co. (ASCAP) (publisher) of the song “Little Boxes”.
Lastly, please follow us on Instagram (@youcancallmekaren), TikTok (@YCCMKPod), and like/subscribe wherever you get your podcasts!
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Transcript
Revisiting Friendship
00:00:26
Mannikka Rosa
Hello and welcome to the You Can Call Me Karen podcast. We are back today with another bonus episode for our viewers while we take a little bit of a break and we calibrate.
00:00:33
karenstansfield
Woop woop!
00:00:34
Stephanie Jay
ban
00:00:40
Mannikka Rosa
We just wanted to make sure that we checked in with our audience. um So our way of checking in is doing a little bit of a bonus episode. And today we're gonna be revisiting one of our series that we did during season one.
Platonic Friendship Dynamics
00:00:54
Mannikka Rosa
which was on friendship.
00:00:56
Stephanie Jay
Bye
00:00:56
Mannikka Rosa
um So ah we talked a little bit about or we talked a lot a bit about um new friendships, old friendships, and friendship breakups.
00:01:00
Stephanie Jay
-bye.
00:01:06
Mannikka Rosa
But um as we were developing some of the content for our podcast, one oh relationship that we thought might be of interest that we didn't get to touch upon was platonic friendships.
00:01:20
Mannikka Rosa
So today that is what we are going to hopefully spend a little bit of time on. um I'm here joined with my co-host Stephanie J.
00:01:30
Mannikka Rosa
Hello, Stephanie.
00:01:31
Stephanie Jay
Hello?
00:01:33
Mannikka Rosa
And Karen Horwitz. Hi, Karen.
00:01:36
karenstansfield
Hello.
00:01:37
Mannikka Rosa
And welcome. I'm excited to jump back into this. I know um we went back and forth on the Friendship Series and what the breadth of that episode's what are those episodes were
'Will They, Won't They' in Media
00:01:50
Mannikka Rosa
going to be. And in my research for the Friendship Series, I came across the NPR podcast, ah Pop Culture, Happy Hour. And they posed a question that I hope to discuss with you guys today and see your thoughts on it. And this is the, will they, won't they trope in cinema.
00:02:09
Stephanie Jay
Mmm.
00:02:09
Mannikka Rosa
So a couple of the examples that they gave were Jim and Pam, ah Janine and Gregory in Abbott Elementary, and one interesting one that they came, that they said that I didn't really consider, but now as I watch, I see the undertones of that, is Carmi and Sydney from The Bear.
00:02:27
Mannikka Rosa
and
00:02:28
karenstansfield
I have I have felt that at times for sure.
00:02:30
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah. Yeah. And so I wonder how this will they, won't they, I guess I want to frame our conversation of like, how does this will they, won't they trope in um media and in pop culture but play into ours?
Societal Perceptions of Friendships
00:02:45
Mannikka Rosa
um securities around having platonic friendships um in our lives.
00:02:50
Stephanie Jay
Mm hmm.
00:02:51
Mannikka Rosa
And do you have any friendships with people of the opposite sex? And, you know, we're talking about heteronormative relationships right now, but this could be any, you know, anybody who has friendships of people where they are strictly platonic.
00:03:03
Stephanie Jay
Oh.
00:03:06
Mannikka Rosa
Do you have any platonic relationships in your life? And and how does that look? What is your partner think about that? You know, um, so anyway, I just want to open up the floor for that discussion um Again this bonus so we are we outside I guess as the kids say we're just like kind of Yes,
00:03:25
Stephanie Jay
believe the
00:03:25
karenstansfield
Do the kids say I have no idea?
00:03:27
Mannikka Rosa
yes honey I Was hanging out with a 28 year old over the summer and she taught me everything I need to know About brat summer.
00:03:27
Stephanie Jay
Yes, it's coming. We out.
00:03:30
karenstansfield
I don't know.
00:03:35
karenstansfield
um long oh cool So Still not clear on that one.
00:03:37
Mannikka Rosa
Okay So
00:03:38
Stephanie Jay
anything
00:03:41
karenstansfield
Okay.
00:03:41
Mannikka Rosa
Um, so what do you guys DM Karen with all this stuff? Okay. Just flood her DMS and give her what? Keep her hip.
00:03:52
Mannikka Rosa
Okay.
00:03:52
Stephanie Jay
anyone
00:03:53
Mannikka Rosa
Um, so what do you guys think about this?
00:03:54
karenstansfield
I was going to say slide into my DMS is that like 12 years old.
00:03:57
Mannikka Rosa
platon Platonically. Platonically.
00:04:00
karenstansfield
Yes, please, please, please, please.
00:04:00
Mannikka Rosa
yeah Um, okay. So what do you guys think about this? Well, they won't day first. Let's start there. And this.
00:04:07
karenstansfield
um
Sexual Tension in Friendships
00:04:08
Mannikka Rosa
so
00:04:09
karenstansfield
Well, I, I guess I feel like that is how all like TV shows and movies work in for like, since the beginning of time is like this kind of sexual tension undertone between the uh in your you know like the way that you described like heteronormative uh male and female roles but it doesn't even have to be that but like yeah I don't think I can't think of a single tv show or movie where you had kind of two lead characters that at one point didn't have some kind of sexual tension and it makes me wonder if
00:04:36
Stephanie Jay
Mm-hmm.
00:04:56
karenstansfield
I'm debating honestly right now, is if like is that just kind of humanity in a way? where like I've had so many male friends over the years. i no i i I don't know if I would have called myself a tomboy when I was young, but I was definitely I felt more comfortable like making friends with boys than with girls once we hit like kind of adolescent age and I'm trying to recall like was there ever a guy friend I'm certain there was actually that I didn't have that with I know I came across that but like Was that reciprocal?
00:05:39
karenstansfield
I don't know like is that just kind of life where there is a little bit of tension at all times definitely
00:05:40
Stephanie Jay
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:05:46
karenstansfield
I have to imagine no, that there's, that you could have platonic relationships, but now you're making me question everything I know, so.
00:05:53
Stephanie Jay
see Well, I know I've always been more of a girl's girl. girl um So, like, i I didn't really grow up having a lot of, like, guy friends.
00:06:06
Stephanie Jay
i I feel like when we made our, like, oh my gosh, you know, our senior year, like the guy's house was kind of like my first time having a group of guy friends that was, they were just our guy friends, though there was some dating and stuff happening, like, and yeah you know?
00:06:16
karenstansfield
Mm hmm.
00:06:27
Mannikka Rosa
Mm
00:06:29
Stephanie Jay
So I guess that didn't didn't even actually, that really actually wasn't all that it was, you know what I mean? It's so weird. Um, and that it's funny because one of my, know right I I want to say my one of my coworkers, um she is a guy's girl.
00:06:53
Stephanie Jay
kind of but you know She mostly has like guy friends.
00:06:54
Mannikka Rosa
-hmm.
00:06:55
Stephanie Jay
She has female friends in her life, and I would consider her a friend. So we're friends. But she seems closest with guys, and that and I feel like it's always biting her in the butt.
00:07:09
Stephanie Jay
And I feel like people are always talking about her and the relationship that she has.
00:07:10
karenstansfield
but
00:07:15
Stephanie Jay
and um with guys and they're platonic i mean you know i i believe that they are but she does have a bit of a flirtatious nature and you know and so people kind of assume like that will they won't they kind of a thing and it's kind of crappy because you know she's um married with kids and um
00:07:41
Mannikka Rosa
Hmm.
00:07:41
karenstansfield
Hmm.
Media's Influence on Friendships
00:07:42
Stephanie Jay
And so, you know, that introduces danger and it's disrespectful without clear evidence to like spread ideas that something inappropriate is going on in its way.
00:07:50
Mannikka Rosa
Yep.
00:07:53
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:07:55
Stephanie Jay
But then I think about, um you know, the classic, will they, won't they, the movie that addresses our question would be when Harry met Sally. And of course that movie does end, but spoiler alert,
00:08:09
Stephanie Jay
um
00:08:09
karenstansfield
I genuinely never seen it, so.
00:08:11
Stephanie Jay
oh okay how do you guys uh when hearing us that movie that's that whole um mon honey forty and from the for the 80s listen
00:08:11
Mannikka Rosa
Me either.
00:08:18
Mannikka Rosa
Oh, we should have done our homework before.
00:08:19
karenstansfield
oh It's fine. Spoil it.
00:08:23
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah, spoil it.
00:08:23
karenstansfield
Go for it.
00:08:24
Mannikka Rosa
I mean, it can't be a spoiler alert 25 years later.
00:08:27
karenstansfield
25. I think that was from like the 80s. Yeah.
00:08:33
karenstansfield
If we haven't seen it yet, we're not going to see it.
00:08:33
Mannikka Rosa
You guys are guys are aging yourselves.
00:08:39
Stephanie Jay
for Also, please watch that movie, both of you.
00:08:42
Mannikka Rosa
I will not probably.
00:08:43
Stephanie Jay
It's, you It's so cute.
00:08:43
karenstansfield
No, I probably won't.
00:08:47
Stephanie Jay
The whole movie is basically, can you have, can a man and a woman just be friends?
00:08:54
karenstansfield
And let me guess.
00:08:55
Stephanie Jay
And, but the thing is, they were friends.
00:08:55
karenstansfield
No, they can't. They get together in the end.
00:08:59
Stephanie Jay
It's like, it spans like a couple, like a decade or a couple of decades and they were friends for all along and they each dated other people and they a you know and um but it annoys me that they did end up together because the whole point was that you should be able to be friends so anyway
00:09:06
karenstansfield
Friends forever.
00:09:19
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah.
00:09:23
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:09:23
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah, so I'm going to.
00:09:24
karenstansfield
You know, actually, as you're saying this, sorry, and then I'll let you get to it, Manny. But as you're saying it, it made me think of Will and Grace and how you needed, yeah, like you needed the man to be gay in order to not actually have them end up together, which is, I don't know, interesting.
00:09:31
Mannikka Rosa
Yes, I was thinking that right when we started.
00:09:38
Mannikka Rosa
la Yep.
00:09:38
Stephanie Jay
ya Yeah.
00:09:42
Mannikka Rosa
Yep. Yeah.
00:09:46
Stephanie Jay
here
00:09:46
Mannikka Rosa
Okay, so a couple.
00:09:46
karenstansfield
Shout out to Will and Grace, great show.
00:09:48
Mannikka Rosa
I love Melinda's, although I think ah one of them is in a little bit of hot water right now. um Okay, so English um Teacher is a show that just came out on FX, I believe.
00:09:54
karenstansfield
oh
00:10:01
Mannikka Rosa
And the lead teacher is a high school teacher and he's gay. And I was thinking about this when Karen was talking about, um you know, like how the You know, it's what we generally see it in heteronormative relationships on on on TV. But in this um show that he just got introduced to another like who seems to be going to be a main character and right off the bat, it's like,
00:10:24
Mannikka Rosa
you know are they going for each other or not you know even in that plot line not even in that pipeline but like it's just a common uh plot line that they bring in um and into into cinema and into into these into these shows so i was thinking about that with Jim and Pam thinking about me and Luke and our situation and how we got together like the students always called us Jim and Pam um
00:10:48
karenstansfield
Oh, I didn't know that.
00:10:48
Mannikka Rosa
And i want I wanted to also talk back like that, that like tomboy versus girls, girls. um You know, like I relate with Karen.
Personal Friendship Experiences
00:10:56
Mannikka Rosa
I was more of a tomboy growing up and I enjoyed, you know, but but so much has changed now, right? Like I didn't realize this could just be like normal, but like I just really enjoyed it like playing sports and like being around boys and stuff. And so it took me a while to kind of get into my groove with my with my female friendships. And now they're like one of the most valuable relationships that I have. but um uh Luke and I were watching this show platonic with Seth Rogen um I think it is on it came out in 2023 yeah Rose Byrne is it um it's on Apple TV anyway yeah it's pretty good but I was just wondering like why can't a man and a woman be friends
00:11:17
Stephanie Jay
Hmm. Hmm.
00:11:24
karenstansfield
Yeah, and Rose rose something. I'm blanking on her name right now.
00:11:31
Stephanie Jay
Is she and from Is she from Fridays?
00:11:32
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:11:36
karenstansfield
I haven't watched it yet, but I've heard it's funny.
00:11:44
Mannikka Rosa
Like when Stephi were telling your story and it was like, why is our default that like they're, that something nefarious is happening?
00:11:50
karenstansfield
Mm-hmm.
00:11:50
Mannikka Rosa
Why, why can't a man and a woman be friends?
00:11:50
Stephanie Jay
Yeah.
00:11:55
Mannikka Rosa
So I want, I'm curious what you guys think about that or why can't people who, you know, just, I'm just going to use my experience. Cause that's all I, that's all I have. So that yeah, what are your thoughts?
00:12:07
karenstansfield
Um, I genuinely think they can.
00:12:10
Stephanie Jay
Okay.
00:12:10
karenstansfield
I just think that, um, I just think that people can't mind their own business and have to like create narratives that don't actually exist.
00:12:14
Stephanie Jay
Okay.
00:12:23
karenstansfield
I have seen just recently, and I'm probably about six months behind on this trend, but, um, on on like Instagram or whatever these reels of like, watch me try to kiss my best friend or something.
00:12:39
Stephanie Jay
Mm
00:12:40
karenstansfield
Have you seen this?
00:12:41
Mannikka Rosa
No. Oh, and it's their brother?
00:12:44
karenstansfield
No, no, no, gosh.
00:12:48
karenstansfield
And we took a hard left into incest.
00:12:50
Mannikka Rosa
Why can't they just be friends?
00:12:51
karenstansfield
um No, it's it's just their best friend and but like platonic friendship you know where um in many cases in these it's a male and a female but and then like the girl kisses the boy and you the point is to kind of see the reaction of you know when you're friends what happens so far all I've seen is like the boy doesn't do anything and just like continues on as if that was a perfectly normal thing to do with your friend which is awesome actually I like love that but
00:13:05
Stephanie Jay
-hmm. Mm-mm.
00:13:21
Mannikka Rosa
no
00:13:25
karenstansfield
um I can't remember what your question was now, Manny. I just think.
00:13:30
Stephanie Jay
I
00:13:32
karenstansfield
ah
00:13:32
Mannikka Rosa
It was why can't a man and a woman just be friends like why do it it and not Yeah, but i'm I'm saying like why does the outside and you said because people can't mind their business Steph What are you thinking?
00:13:34
Stephanie Jay
just
00:13:35
karenstansfield
I just think they can. Yeah, I think they can.
00:13:38
Stephanie Jay
had a thought.
00:13:41
karenstansfield
Are society not like that?
00:13:46
Stephanie Jay
I just had a thought, this is gonna be very not, I don't know what the word is, but it's gonna be very Pollyanna, but could it be because like when I think about like my friends, like you two, it's like the when you're that connected, like I genuinely love you both.
00:14:09
Stephanie Jay
And so do you think that like when in like if you're friends and you truly care for each other and you're there for each other through thick and thin there's like love there and then could it be that then love could like without attraction like There's, I'm not attracted to women so like, we're not going to tryst, you know, and like, I don't know, is that why like all those movies and stories like you end up really caring for each other and there's attraction added on top of it. Is that what it is or I don't know. Is that a dumb thought.
00:14:44
karenstansfield
No, it's not. I mean, I'm i'm tracking for sure.
00:14:48
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah, I mean
00:14:49
karenstansfield
um
00:14:51
karenstansfield
I was gonna i was going to take another hard left and say like, yeah, but isn't sexuality a spectrum?
00:14:57
Mannikka Rosa
yeah I was gonna say for some people like that could also turn into them falling in love with their best friend You know and being attractive to their best friend them like I've heard stories of that too, you know, so why is it such a
00:14:58
Stephanie Jay
you i mean there money
00:15:04
karenstansfield
yeah
00:15:10
Mannikka Rosa
ah When, when, when, I don't know, just to the point of like when a man and a woman are like hanging out because they work together and they, um you know, why why why when I do that with my friend Chrissy from my my first job like is that like accept socially acceptable but when I would to do it with somebody else people would think that oh there's more to that you know and I think part of that is like our own insecurities within our own relationships you know of like you're because I think what you were saying Steph about you know the situation that you were sharing is that like the woman you noticed when you said she was married and had kids both of Karen and I's reaction were
00:15:27
karenstansfield
Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:34
Stephanie Jay
Yeah.
00:15:40
Stephanie Jay
Yeah.
00:15:51
Mannikka Rosa
Oh, like an audible like, oh, right. Like now we see why people are kind of judging or critiquing or in that way.
00:16:00
Stephanie Jay
And notice that we're talking about her, the guy that she made with.
00:16:03
Mannikka Rosa
Oh, god dang.
00:16:03
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:16:07
karenstansfield
I know.
00:16:08
Stephanie Jay
like And I started it.
00:16:08
Mannikka Rosa
Damn it.
00:16:10
Stephanie Jay
I'm sorry.
00:16:11
karenstansfield
Because it's always the woman.
00:16:11
Stephanie Jay
I'm sorry.
00:16:13
karenstansfield
It's always the woman.
00:16:13
Stephanie Jay
It's always the woman. in i I introduced it that way.
00:16:13
Mannikka Rosa
Damn.
00:16:15
karenstansfield
It's acceptable when a man, yeah.
00:16:16
Stephanie Jay
It's my home.
00:16:17
Mannikka Rosa
a
00:16:17
Stephanie Jay
And he he's like, the guy um is also married with kids.
00:16:19
Mannikka Rosa
yeah
00:16:23
Stephanie Jay
And of yes, I did.
00:16:23
karenstansfield
Mm.
00:16:23
Mannikka Rosa
Oh, okay. Well, you left that part out.
00:16:26
Stephanie Jay
So shame on me. It's because
00:16:28
karenstansfield
No, but that's I think that's the perfect point.
00:16:30
Stephanie Jay
It's because she's the one who gets the heat. She's the one who gets talked about the most. And um so, and he's no longer at our building now, but like, they, yeah, I mean, and I think that it's not right.
00:16:48
karenstansfield
It's just not right.
00:16:49
Stephanie Jay
And I think it's like, she, she, gets pegged in a lot ah often.
00:16:51
Mannikka Rosa
But it's okay. i'm gonna make it anyway. don't make me pay for that.
00:16:59
Stephanie Jay
Like the person I'm thinking of is not the only person that people have like kind of done this to her. And it's crappy. It's not fair. Like, you know, is it's not fair.
00:17:08
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:17:11
Mannikka Rosa
yeah. Yeah, I think in the platonic um show, they do a good job of making sure that the people in a relationship see the Seth, Seth Rogen.
Work vs. Personal Friendships
00:17:27
Mannikka Rosa
He's around for their relationship. I think that's kind of like, in my understanding of why like this, like,
00:17:35
Mannikka Rosa
What is this? Is something else happening? It's like when it feels like kind of secretive. So like if they're not hanging out like outside of school and they're not embedded in each other's family, I think people jump to like certain conclusions.
00:17:49
Mannikka Rosa
Because like I was thinking back again with like my relationship with my friend Chrissy, like she would come around my house, she would come around my people like she, you know, and my baby shower with you staff, you know, like, like I think the difference might be in how visible that person is
00:17:56
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:18:04
Mannikka Rosa
to the people um in your life and um and how you like incorporate them into like your lifestyle. if like If it's just you guys hanging out and only you two, then yeah, that might seem like you guys are doing some, not necessarily being honest, but if that person is coming and hanging out and doing bowling and bowling.
00:18:14
Stephanie Jay
Mm-hmm
00:18:30
Stephanie Jay
so but
00:18:30
karenstansfield
doing bowling.
00:18:31
Stephanie Jay
ah
00:18:34
karenstansfield
We are doing bowling today.
00:18:35
Mannikka Rosa
BOWLING!
00:18:37
karenstansfield
I hear you though. I do think there is something to that. If that relationship wasn't at work and in front of a lot of other people, right? So like we all have friendships with people at work that are just work friendships.
00:18:50
karenstansfield
I don't need to see you outside of work, but we get along great while we're there.
00:18:52
Stephanie Jay
and we hear
00:18:54
karenstansfield
And that's not a secret. We're not like being weird about it. We're just friend friends at work. Um, cause I was thinking about when you opened it, like, can you have platonic relationships?
00:19:05
karenstansfield
And I'm like, well, where do I draw the line there? Cause I have lots of male friends, but they're like part of my friend group. And when like Bob and I are out, you know, like I could be off talking to our friend, Nate and one-on-one and like, no one is around, but we're like, but we're all friends and there's nothing,
00:19:18
Stephanie Jay
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. who
00:19:24
Mannikka Rosa
Right.
00:19:25
karenstansfield
nefarious, if that's the right word, about that.
00:19:27
Stephanie Jay
Yeah.
00:19:27
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah.
00:19:27
karenstansfield
um And so I was trying to think like, oh, I guess I don't really have any guy friends now that Bob wouldn't also consider a friend.
00:19:32
Mannikka Rosa
No.
00:19:37
Mannikka Rosa
Right.
00:19:37
karenstansfield
And maybe that's, maybe that is a little bit of the difference of like, if I had a friend where I was like, okay, Bob, I'm going out with this friend of mine, I'll see you when I'm home.
00:19:48
karenstansfield
like That would be, that would feel weird, I think.
00:19:49
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah.
00:19:52
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah. Yeah, I think it's a conversation about respect for like our partner, because I think that like if Luke went and did that, I would feel pretty disrespected.
00:19:56
Stephanie Jay
yeah
Respect and Trust in Opposite-Sex Friendships
00:20:00
Stephanie Jay
Yeah, yeah for sure.
00:20:01
Mannikka Rosa
You know, I don't know.
00:20:01
karenstansfield
and
00:20:02
Mannikka Rosa
I just think I have too much respect for my, my partner that I wouldn't be like, yeah, by the way, I'm gonna go hang out with this dude like by myself. We're just friends.
00:20:13
karenstansfield
Nothing to see here.
00:20:13
Stephanie Jay
a
00:20:15
Mannikka Rosa
You know, and never bring them around and never, you know, to embed them into our lives.
00:20:15
karenstansfield
It is weird.
00:20:19
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:20:21
Mannikka Rosa
It would just kind of, I think I would just feel, I don't know. And I feel like I might also feel that way. Like if he did that with, ah if I, he might feel that way if I did that with a girlfriend who I was like all of a sudden hanging out with and not incorporating into my life.
00:20:35
Stephanie Jay
Mm hmm.
00:20:40
Mannikka Rosa
at a deeper level, but I was hanging out with them all the time and never introducing them to our to our family, you know?
00:20:45
Stephanie Jay
Yeah.
00:20:45
karenstansfield
One on one.
00:20:48
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:20:48
Mannikka Rosa
So I don't know. I think that's like a respect conversation.
00:20:49
Stephanie Jay
Yeah, I am. I've kind of make sure to do that. Like um with my co-workers when, especially pre-quin, like when my co-workers would plan happy hours and stuff, I always would invite Steve to come too. And there would be a few of us who would have their spouses there and there would be some who would never bring their spouses.
00:21:18
Stephanie Jay
you know, and like, I just always wanted to make sure like, you know, hey, I talk about these people all the time, like I want them, Steve to meet them and, and all that.
00:21:27
Mannikka Rosa
Great.
00:21:28
Stephanie Jay
And then when I do bring up a male coworker, I'm like, yeah, see, you met him, you know who he is, like, you know, I'm talking about and, and then
00:21:35
Mannikka Rosa
Great.
00:21:38
Stephanie Jay
you know, if there is ever a time when um we go to Happy Hour right after school and he's not there, he knows what that is like, what that looks like, and who's there, ah and all that kind of stuff.
00:21:51
Stephanie Jay
um And so, yeah, I like that thought of, you know, the respect and trust.
00:21:56
Mannikka Rosa
and Trust it sounds like he now has trust like he can trust what is happening because he's experienced it himself Okay, so I'm gonna kind of pivot in a little bit to a new kind of segment for us But let's maybe take a break before we do that.
00:21:59
Stephanie Jay
Yeah.
00:22:02
Stephanie Jay
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:22:10
Stephanie Jay
Yeah.
00:22:19
Mannikka Rosa
What do you think?
00:22:32
Mannikka Rosa
Okay, sorry, I just wanted to gather my thoughts because that was a really in depth conversation and I love where it was going but because this is a bonus episode, I want to make sure we're keeping it short and quick.
Rapid Fire: Friendship Topics
00:22:45
Mannikka Rosa
um But I was thinking of doing something like a rapid fire with my co host.
00:22:51
Mannikka Rosa
so that we could, you know, see um ah a little bit more about these friendship conversations. I'm thinking about that ah article that I read on my episode of like the friend date. So I picture us on a friend date right now. And um I'm going to ask you like kind of like speed dating a little bit, some rapid fire questions. I don't want you to think too much about them.
00:23:13
Mannikka Rosa
um How about we'll alternate a little bit. I'm not going to answer the ones. If you guys want me to answer some questions, then you'll have to develop your own rapid fire, okay? I'm not going to answer. oh But um sometimes I'll have the same question, and sometimes I'll have a different question.
00:23:25
karenstansfield
Thank you.
00:23:28
Stephanie Jay
Oh my gosh.
00:23:29
Mannikka Rosa
So I'm going to keep you on your toes. OK? All right. And we're just going to go back and forth and back and forth.
00:23:32
karenstansfield
I'm scared.
00:23:32
Stephanie Jay
I'm scared.
00:23:33
Mannikka Rosa
Good. You should be shaking in your boots. If you pooped yourself, that's great.
00:23:36
Stephanie Jay
i'm
00:23:37
Mannikka Rosa
We like that.
00:23:37
karenstansfield
A little poop.
00:23:38
Mannikka Rosa
OK. So um and remember, it is rapid fire. I'm saying this for you, Steph, especially because I'm looking at my first question.
00:23:43
karenstansfield
Oh my gosh, I'm sweating.
00:23:44
Stephanie Jay
I'm. Oh Jesus.
00:23:47
Mannikka Rosa
All right. Ready?
Rapid Fire: Musical Preferences
00:23:50
karenstansfield
Ready.
00:23:51
Mannikka Rosa
Your favorite MJ song of all time.
00:23:54
Stephanie Jay
Human nature.
00:23:55
karenstansfield
Man in the mirror.
00:23:57
Mannikka Rosa
Um, I did not ask you yet, Karen.
00:23:59
Stephanie Jay
Dang.
00:24:00
karenstansfield
Oh, I thought we were going back and forth.
00:24:02
Mannikka Rosa
I know, but I said sometimes it's going to be the same question and sometimes it's going to be different.
00:24:06
karenstansfield
I'm going to keep doing that.
00:24:07
Mannikka Rosa
Okay. Fine. All right. Fine. She already messed it up.
00:24:10
Stephanie Jay
mess yeah
00:24:10
Mannikka Rosa
It'll be the same question.
00:24:10
karenstansfield
ah
00:24:11
Mannikka Rosa
Fine. Okay. So man in the mirror, of human nature. Okay. Starting with you, Karen and I guess Steph, you're going to be answering this question too. Favorite Celine Dion song of all time.
00:24:22
karenstansfield
Oh, God. um It's definitely not the one from Titanic. it's All by myself.
00:24:28
Mannikka Rosa
Steph?
00:24:28
karenstansfield
All by myself.
00:24:29
Mannikka Rosa
That's a good one.
00:24:31
Stephanie Jay
on That's hard, but I'll just go with a new day has come.
00:24:37
Mannikka Rosa
I love that song so much. I love human nature. Okay, Steph, starting with you, finish the sentence. It's 7 p.m. Friday.
00:24:49
Stephanie Jay
And I'm asleep.
00:24:50
Mannikka Rosa
No!
00:24:50
karenstansfield
Hello.
00:24:55
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah, finish the sentence. It's 7 p.m. Friday.
00:24:59
karenstansfield
And I'm pouring a drink.
00:25:02
Stephanie Jay
okay Oh.
00:25:02
karenstansfield
Is this a song?
00:25:04
Mannikka Rosa
It is.
00:25:05
karenstansfield
Yeah. But I'm pouring myself a drink. I thought it was a song and I panicked and since Steph's dead, she's going to sleep then.
00:25:09
Mannikka Rosa
Yes, it is a song and you should panic because that's a that's sad that you guys don't know it. It means that you need danger need to hang around more alpha Gen Z people.
00:25:19
karenstansfield
Well, here we are.
00:25:23
karenstansfield
Oh, is it current?
00:25:24
Stephanie Jay
No lies.
00:25:24
karenstansfield
Oh, there's no way in hell, no, no.
00:25:25
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah.
00:25:27
karenstansfield
I don't even feel bad.
00:25:28
Stephanie Jay
Sorry.
00:25:29
karenstansfield
I was like, if this was my era, same on me.
00:25:29
Stephanie Jay
I don't get it.
00:25:29
Mannikka Rosa
Okay.
00:25:32
Mannikka Rosa
All right, Steph. Steph, what does no cap mean?
00:25:36
Stephanie Jay
ah No lies.
00:25:38
Mannikka Rosa
Good. Karen, what does Sigma mean?
00:25:40
karenstansfield
Fuck.
00:25:43
karenstansfield
Cool, I think. Yes, yes! Oh, thank God.
00:25:47
Mannikka Rosa
you
00:25:48
karenstansfield
so I'm sweating right now.
00:25:52
Mannikka Rosa
All right. um Karen, when Mariah Carey came out with her song, Hero, and you belted it in the shower or in your bedroom or wherever you could listen while yeah on your Walkman, who was the hero you were envisioning?
00:26:10
Stephanie Jay
Hmm.
00:26:13
Stephanie Jay
Hmm.
00:26:14
Mannikka Rosa
When she says, and then a hero comes, who were you?
00:26:14
karenstansfield
Oh.
00:26:17
karenstansfield
Listen. For real real. It was me.
00:26:23
Mannikka Rosa
Oh, that's right.
00:26:24
Stephanie Jay
I love that.
00:26:25
karenstansfield
Yes!
00:26:26
Mannikka Rosa
Get big. Get big on Get big on him.
00:26:29
karenstansfield
Yes!
00:26:32
Stephanie Jay
I love that.
00:26:34
Mannikka Rosa
I do too.
00:26:37
karenstansfield
Thanks guys. Alright, I'm out.
Rapid Fire: Personal Preferences
00:26:41
Mannikka Rosa
All Oh, treat yourself. um Steph, when Mariah Carey came out with her song, Hero, and and you belted it in the shower in your bedroom, wherever you could listen while you were on your walk, man. Who was the hero you were envisioning?
00:26:54
Stephanie Jay
I don't know, I don't think I had a vision, but it would probably be if I had to pick someone, my dance teacher.
00:27:01
karenstansfield
Oh, educator.
00:27:04
Stephanie Jay
here
00:27:05
Mannikka Rosa
Steph, describe yourself in one sentence.
00:27:10
Stephanie Jay
um Slow moving and passionate. two
00:27:15
Mannikka Rosa
I'm still moving. You are slow moving.
00:27:22
Stephanie Jay
I'm
00:27:22
karenstansfield
He started with the word slow, and I was like, I don't think you got the question right.
00:27:27
Stephanie Jay
slow moving.
00:27:29
Mannikka Rosa
yeah
00:27:29
Stephanie Jay
ah is Deliberate.
00:27:29
karenstansfield
You are.
00:27:29
Mannikka Rosa
Yes, yes.
00:27:30
karenstansfield
You are. Yeah.
00:27:32
Mannikka Rosa
Bless your heart. Karen, describe yourself in one sentence.
00:27:33
karenstansfield
yeah
00:27:36
karenstansfield
Oh, fuck.
00:27:40
karenstansfield
This is so stressful. Well, that's it.
00:27:44
Mannikka Rosa
Yep, there we go.
00:27:45
Stephanie Jay
yeah
00:27:47
karenstansfield
We'll leave it at that.
00:27:50
Mannikka Rosa
a That's perfect.
00:27:53
Stephanie Jay
that's
00:27:53
karenstansfield
Yeah, that is perfect.
00:27:53
Mannikka Rosa
All right. Karen, what article, artifact, toy, whatever, did you want as a teen or kid that you never got and still want today?
00:28:04
karenstansfield
I feel like I know the answer to this. I can't quite put my finger on it. What did I want? As a teen?
00:28:10
Mannikka Rosa
Or a kid?
00:28:10
karenstansfield
As a teen.
00:28:13
karenstansfield
Oh, as a kid. I feel like it was some kind of
00:28:19
Stephanie Jay
That's funny.
00:28:21
karenstansfield
um video game system. I had Super Nintendo, whatever came after, oh, Wii. I wanted Wii so bad.
00:28:29
Stephanie Jay
the
00:28:29
Mannikka Rosa
Guys, she Karen wanted a wee.
00:28:32
Mannikka Rosa
I love that.
00:28:34
karenstansfield
I wanted it so bad and I never got it. My life is so hard.
00:28:39
Mannikka Rosa
I feel like wee's came out when we were in college.
00:28:43
karenstansfield
Okay, well, um yes, that's true, but I did.
00:28:44
Mannikka Rosa
OK. Yeah, but ah but to be fair, you did come out of the womb as a 35-year-old woman, so that makes sense.
00:28:50
karenstansfield
Yes, my name is Karen.
00:28:54
Mannikka Rosa
Steph would be.
00:28:54
karenstansfield
And I did really want we.
00:28:57
Stephanie Jay
Uh-huh.
00:28:59
Mannikka Rosa
Bob, if you're listening.
00:29:07
Stephanie Jay
and
00:29:07
karenstansfield
In a future episode, remind me to tell you the story about how we got engaged and what I thought was happening.
00:29:12
Mannikka Rosa
oh Oh yeah, I love that.
00:29:13
karenstansfield
That's a teaser, you're gonna have to keep listening.
00:29:13
Stephanie Jay
um
00:29:15
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah, maybe in our in our engagement episodes.
00:29:15
Stephanie Jay
a
00:29:18
Mannikka Rosa
Okay, Steph, what article?
00:29:18
Stephanie Jay
Oh
00:29:19
Mannikka Rosa
that We don't have an engagement.
00:29:23
Stephanie Jay
my god.
00:29:27
Mannikka Rosa
yeah What article artifact did you want as a teen or kid that you never got and still want today?
00:29:33
Stephanie Jay
Um, I wanted a pow pow power wheel.
00:29:38
karenstansfield
Aw.
00:29:39
Stephanie Jay
I've never gone that way.
00:29:40
Mannikka Rosa
Those joints were so tight. I wanted one of those too.
00:29:43
karenstansfield
Mm-hmm.
00:29:44
Stephanie Jay
Yeah.
00:29:47
Mannikka Rosa
God, you were the shit if you had a power wheel.
00:29:48
Stephanie Jay
For sure.
00:29:49
karenstansfield
Took me back.
00:29:49
Mannikka Rosa
Okay.
00:29:51
Mannikka Rosa
and Yeah, that did take me back.
00:29:51
Stephanie Jay
ah totallyly
00:29:52
Mannikka Rosa
And I love how you incorporated it in the commercial.
00:29:54
karenstansfield
Mm-hmm.
00:29:55
Mannikka Rosa
All right.
00:29:55
Stephanie Jay
thank
00:29:57
Mannikka Rosa
Okay, you are meeting a friend. ah They're having like ah they're having like a people over, okay? They're having a gathering. Everybody is coming um and has to bring a dish. This is your first time meeting this this family or this friend. What are you bringing?
Culinary Contributions to Social Gatherings
00:30:12
Stephanie Jay
Um, Steve and I make a mean barbacoa.
00:30:17
Mannikka Rosa
Ooh, wow.
00:30:18
karenstansfield
Ooh.
00:30:19
Stephanie Jay
Delicious.
00:30:20
Mannikka Rosa
You're going for the main?
00:30:20
karenstansfield
Why haven't you made that for me?
00:30:23
Mannikka Rosa
You're going for the main?
00:30:23
karenstansfield
Yeah.
00:30:24
Mannikka Rosa
Excuse ah me, Stephanie.
00:30:27
Stephanie Jay
you can We brought it as a side, just like little, like we brought it as a side with little like taco things.
00:30:30
Mannikka Rosa
What?
00:30:34
Mannikka Rosa
Oh.
00:30:36
karenstansfield
Love that.
00:30:37
Mannikka Rosa
Oh, yummy. Does it come with this with them a dip?
00:30:42
Stephanie Jay
no no man it's just the it's season you put it you bring like lettuce and some cheese and try and tell y'all
00:30:42
karenstansfield
Or a topping.
00:30:44
Mannikka Rosa
No?
00:30:50
karenstansfield
I Jamaican woman to season some meat, you know what I'm saying?
00:30:53
Mannikka Rosa
Yeah, no, no, no. I just wonder if there's some hot sauce or some green sauce on it. Chill. Okay, Karen.
00:31:00
Mannikka Rosa
What are you bringing?
00:31:00
Stephanie Jay
in
00:31:03
karenstansfield
My first thought was truffle mac and cheese.
00:31:06
Stephanie Jay
and
00:31:06
Mannikka Rosa
Whoa.
00:31:08
karenstansfield
Yeah, it's pretty fucking bomb.
00:31:10
Mannikka Rosa
You guys really want to impress these friends.
00:31:10
karenstansfield
But I also got I really want to impress them. Yeah. But I also got a recipe from a friend for French onion dip or it's like onion dip. it You guys, it is divine.
00:31:22
karenstansfield
So, you know, next time we're together, we're going to have Barbacoa mac and cheese and onion dip.
00:31:26
Stephanie Jay
a And then not breathe on each other.
00:31:27
karenstansfield
It's going to be great.
00:31:28
Mannikka Rosa
um Yes, that sounds very spicy. Okay, I have two more questions. Karen, what's one item in your purse you can't live without?
00:31:39
karenstansfield
ah Vaseline.
00:31:40
Mannikka Rosa
Oh, Steph, what's one item in your purse you can't live without?
00:31:40
Stephanie Jay
oh
00:31:44
Stephanie Jay
Now it's my glasses.
00:31:48
Mannikka Rosa
and meana see what they said
00:31:50
Stephanie Jay
let ah so
00:31:52
karenstansfield
2020 over here and fade in fast.
00:31:55
Mannikka Rosa
um All right, and our last question, Steph, a friend is someone who.
Defining Friendship in a Sentence
00:32:03
Stephanie Jay
Loves me for me.
00:32:07
Mannikka Rosa
Karen, a friend is someone who.
00:32:10
karenstansfield
Makes me laugh. I was going to say so many inappropriate things.
00:32:14
Mannikka Rosa
and
00:32:15
Stephanie Jay
Okay.
00:32:15
Mannikka Rosa
But it was possibly the first thing on your mind. I wish I would have heard it being inappropriate, but I wish it makes you laugh.
00:32:23
karenstansfield
I'm going with makes me laugh.
00:32:25
Mannikka Rosa
Yay. Well, thank you guys for participating in Rapid Fire. And thank you all for listening. We'll be back soon.
00:32:57
Mannikka Rosa
And just a reminder, if you like what you heard, please like and so subscribe to the You Can Call Me Karen podcast. We appreciate all your support as we continue on this podcast journey. Bye.
00:33:11
karenstansfield
Bye!