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EP. 51 Beefing with Ron Rockstone & Final Destination Bloodlines
21 Plays24 days ago
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Transcript
Introduction and Humor
00:00:00
Speaker
That a shtick like that, dude! Have you seen my dick? been looking for it.
00:00:07
Speaker
Sir, I'm going to rub one out right here on your counter.
00:00:11
Speaker
We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.
00:00:19
Speaker
I'm rinsing your girl out, bud.
00:00:23
Speaker
That's how identify the Doteca Heedron.
00:00:27
Speaker
a
00:00:34
Speaker
Hello, my name is Nick and I have shaft hair.
00:00:38
Speaker
Scrubbing the pot, which is what I call when I jerk myself off.
00:00:44
Speaker
We're just joking. Everything's jokes.
00:00:48
Speaker
Two girls, one cup? No. Two guys, one screen? Yes.
00:00:56
Speaker
I find it interesting
00:01:01
Speaker
we need an update on the hemorrhoids i think um and we cause it's been quiet all quiet on the western front right well because i don't want to bore you because you know no i mean i find it interesting I mean, it's like me personally.
00:01:16
Speaker
Take a shit. You got to wipe the blood. You got to wipe the blood. Right. And then you got to use your anti-preventative hemorrhoid thing. Right. If you bend over at a certain angle, you got to do that. You're using the but you're not using the cream yet.
00:01:28
Speaker
No, I really got it. And we said in the Speak to the Leave episode, use the cream you ain't using it. I know. My dad has cream on deck. I'm worried that he stuck the tube up his head. Yeah, you don't want use dad's hemorrhoid cream.
00:01:41
Speaker
You don't want use Len's hemorrhoid cream. You're wild. That's a little scary. but We are the hemorrhoid homies, the
Social Media and Audience Engagement
00:01:50
Speaker
Poetown boys. I'm joined, as always, by the edgelord, Gerald. We ah have a movie that does like to edge you, actually, that we're covering today.
00:01:58
Speaker
Yeah, that's the whole point. Yeah, this is ah Final Destination Bloodlines. A.K.A. Final Destination 6. Hey, Greg! Yeah, ah we have some some things to go over. We have a voicemail that's um nine minutes to cover.
00:02:16
Speaker
ah And I have a little fun thing because I like stats because I'm definitely autistic or have ass burgers. rato Can I eat your ass burger? Yeah, bro.
00:02:27
Speaker
Maybe you put some hemorrhoid cream on top, a little sauce. Oh, yeah. We're disgusting. little dingleberry on there is like a pickle. yeah Luckily, ew. Like a sesame seed dingleberry.
00:02:39
Speaker
ah Luckily, i don't have crazy dingleberries. um Let's do a little... Plug it in, plug it So follow us on Instagram, two guys, one screen pod.
00:02:53
Speaker
Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to two guys, one screen pod at gmail.com. Follow us on ah YouTube and tick tock for the clip tube.
00:03:05
Speaker
Yeah. They're coming. bit Yeah. Ben, we're busy. Yeah. so That's what it is. Life happens. It's all right. Send us a voicemail. Five away. Eight. I'm drowning. Five. Oh, eight. Dip tip.
00:03:18
Speaker
ah Follow us on Letterboxd. All of it's going to be in the description. You fucks. Yeah, I know. um Life goes on, all right? like Yeah. We're the best out of everything. At least y'all getting episodes, right? that's That's what really matters.
00:03:32
Speaker
Yeah. Well, well what what we mean to say is i we you might not you might get a lot of vault episodes the next month. ah But they're very good. I mean, we we've hand-selected the ones that we want to release.
00:03:44
Speaker
you know you're not You're not opening a restaurant or anything. It's all right. I'm not. Also, there's um there's a really good joke that we want to say in the pod. We can't say it because it's not out yet, and we want to share it with you all. so Exactly. and yeah I want it to be in the on the best moments for the end of the year, too. And there might be a bank coming out that like we're going to hold off, but we're just going to fucking send it now.
00:04:07
Speaker
It's edited. It's ready to go. It's edited and ready to go. And it's like, are we both thinking the same kids movie? Oh yeah. I mean, okay. Yeah. You know, yeah. Yeah. Half blood prints out there in the world. So it's fine. Right.
00:04:18
Speaker
I don't think. Yeah. Right. um We are at episode 51, and episode 50 was obviously pre-recorded. Shout out to Jake for coming the podcast again.
Podcast Power Rankings and Statistics
00:04:27
Speaker
Thanks, Jake.
00:04:28
Speaker
Two published episodes for him now. I want to do a little thing. I just started thinking about this. I want to do... I'm going to call it power rankings, okay? That's what I'm going to call it. pat We'll do it... Maybe we'll do it every 10. We'll do it 51, 61, 71. We'll just keep going like that, okay?
00:04:44
Speaker
I just want to see what... like I really like looking at the numbers for our podcast and what... What's the highest and what's the lowest, right? Well, not the lowest because I didn't write that down, but it's what it is.
00:04:55
Speaker
I mean, that's all right. These are your top 10 power rankings. Should I drop the view count or should i just say what's the highest? I mean, I'm curious about the view count, but if you know if you want that out there, it's all right. If you don't. No, we ain't that big. They know that.
00:05:08
Speaker
Yeah, fuck it. Do view count too. All right. So we'll start. for I only did top 10. Right. Right. Okay. Okay. So number 10 with 18 is number 10.
00:05:21
Speaker
We got Unhinged and Black Christmas. Wow. Why? I'm a little mad that Black Christmas is at 18. I think Black. We got to pump those numbers up a little bit.
00:05:31
Speaker
ah And the fact Black Christmas is banger recently came out. But that was fan requested. fan Shout out to my slut cousin, Christina. You fucking slut. Who told me on the phone today that Jake sounds like Kermit the Frog. And I don't really hear that.
00:05:47
Speaker
No, I don't get i don't get Kermit. i get are you can Jake says he gets retarded. Jake said that. Yeah, he text he called me the other day. He's like, my voice sounds retarded. I'm like, well.
00:05:58
Speaker
it I mean, I don't know. I told him. I was like, sometimes you put it like you put on the... the voice like the podcast voice yeah you mean I do feel like the intro but then I go back to talking how I normally talk just fucking talk like that's all he kind of keeps it going yeah and he also does like the the thing I can't stand where he's like he'll like make draw something out so much be so like literally um like you might be retarded yeah but also you do this thing where you start and then you just stop talking for like oh I think already wrote like mid-sentence you're like yeah so the thing is
00:06:36
Speaker
Okay, so you know how like... i Yeah, but I genuinely think I'm retarded though. Okay, so fair enough. I mean, I'm also retarded. I got something going on. i was calling I was calling Voldemort Dumbledore or Dumbledore Voldemort. I kept calling Voldemort Snape too in one of the heart Harry Potters I listened to.
00:06:52
Speaker
That's just because there's a lot of names. I don't know why I do that. Dudes be dying. Dudes be popping up. Okay, so number nine, the power rankings with 19 views. We got Poughkeepsie tapes. Shout out to the Poe Town Boys. go. Great episode.
00:07:07
Speaker
Great. That was like our third recording ever or fourth? IRL. We did. it was our fourth. We did Vacancy first. We did Alien Romulus. Didn't go good, obviously. Cuckoo.
00:07:19
Speaker
And then we. Oh, Cuckoo. Yeah, we did Cuckoo. Then we did Alien Romulus. Then we did Poe Town potown Boys. Yeah. Good ep, though.
00:07:30
Speaker
19 views. ah Eighth place, 20 views. Do you want to guess or do you want me to just read them? 20 views? We don't got to guess every single one because some of them are just high.
00:07:42
Speaker
But this one only has one answer for 20 views. I'll give you a hint. i'll narrow I'll narrow it down. We had a guest. ah Hereditary. No. ah Dang.
00:07:55
Speaker
Goblet of Fire? now Goblet Fire low, bro. Goblet Fire, aren't even top 10. That's disgusting. It's a great ep. It is. Okay, what is it?
00:08:07
Speaker
Number 20 is Violent Night with our boy Jake. Speaking of retards. There he is. Good episode. Very good episode. Good movie. Good episode. Vibes were good. Number seven, we got a three-way tie.
00:08:20
Speaker
In power rankings. We got Speak No Evil. ah Good episode. and Nice shit tangent on that one. Yeah. A real good shit tangent. Let us know. Do you fold or bunch?
00:08:31
Speaker
um if If it's bunch, I don't think I want to talk to you. I'd definitely not touch your hands. That's for sure not. No fucking way. ah Sorcerer's Stone, which 21, I ain't mad about that, but I feel like the first one would have popped off little harder because we did kind of market it for that.
00:08:49
Speaker
We did, but... Pretty heavy. We have more listeners than we do Instagram followers.
00:08:56
Speaker
Right, but I mean, also, that one is like kind no one really like love loves that in film, yeah so I think they're like, yeah, I'll wait till the next one. It's a very midi-mid film.
00:09:07
Speaker
Yeah. Okay, and then we also got... We got Tom Riddle's diary in front of you. What's going on? Yeah, I got... Yeah! Yeah, I got Tom Riddle's diary!
00:09:19
Speaker
Yeah, me? ah Also at 21, Gremlins. Banger episode. Banger, dude. Shout out Ford. ah and chat to building his body And shout out to Mr. Futterman. We salute you. All right.
00:09:35
Speaker
Uh... Sixth place, 22 views. ah Our first ever episode, vacancies of 22. Really? going back and listening to our our old ones. which we We appreciate that. We respect that.
00:09:46
Speaker
We respect you. We love you. We love you. Also, I heard through the grapevine. Roasted or what? Hey, yo. oh Oh, fuck.
00:09:59
Speaker
through the great vian which i've mentioned this several times of the podcast by fig my worst fears i've come true my ah who birthed my slut cousin told my slot cousin who told me that my aunt heard that my mother listened to the podcast Wait, hold on.
00:10:18
Speaker
What episode? That's a big question. Yeah, i was like I was like, okay, so for the listener, i mean, of you already know, but like my mother is not the person that would want to hear me say any of this.
00:10:30
Speaker
No, not at all. i was like I was like, what episode? and she And they think, I didn't ask my mom. I would never want to ask her that question. They think it was the first episode.
00:10:41
Speaker
So luckily, Vacancy is pretty vanilla. There's cursing, yeah, but there's nothing like... Yeah, but I curse as I speak as it is. Sure. Nothing crazy. I mean, it's not like she listened to, like, Half-Blood Prince. Like, it's surprising, like, you're not Italian or something, you know?
00:10:57
Speaker
Right. Hey! Fuck's going
New Series Introduction: Yeah, You Want It?
00:11:00
Speaker
on here? Cousine. Okay. Give me a boonene. My mother. No, not your mom.
00:11:08
Speaker
Your mom, I just meant a general. but ah Strange Darling. Is that number five? That's tied with Vacancy ah for 22. Oh, okay. this is They're all tied.
00:11:21
Speaker
Love that movie. ah Best Moments episode? Great ep. And for some reason, Mickey 17. Ugh.
00:11:32
Speaker
Ugh. Movie's kind of ugh, but we did have that dip my tip in a can of red paint in the beginning of that episode, so they got that going for us. if If nothing, we got a good ah got a good clip out of it.
00:11:43
Speaker
Number five, 23 views. Honestly, kind of out of left field. There's two that are like really out of
Listener Feedback: Ron Rockstone's Voicemail
00:11:50
Speaker
left field. And this is one of them. ABC's a death.
00:11:54
Speaker
That is so weird. Right? i mean, it was always high. It was always like kind of high, even from when it released. I didn't think that was a good recording. Neither did I. It's kind of a snoozer.
00:12:04
Speaker
but But, suckers. 23 suckers. um Okay, that's that's top five. Number four, tie. 24 views.
00:12:19
Speaker
We got The Substance, Subby Wubby, your favorite movie. We got It. All right. And we got two Harry Boppers. Do you want to guess the Harry Boppers?
00:12:30
Speaker
Three. Correct. Prisoner of Azkaban. And
00:12:38
Speaker
two. got it. Yeah, Chambers. You got to think the later ones need more time to kind of cook. Yeah. Marinate in the salt. They're like fucking bottles wine. They get finer with age.
00:12:50
Speaker
Yeah, or cheese. Anybody, any of you fuck with cheese? what else If you don't like cheese, and it's not because like you can't have dairy because you don't like cheese, don't fucking listen. That might be valid. like You can like Diet Coke, but you got to like cheese.
00:13:05
Speaker
Right. ah So Chamber of Secrets Prisoner of Azkaban, right. Number three, this is so, I'll give you one guess. I mean, 25 views, it's the third highest episode.
00:13:16
Speaker
This is the most out of left field episode you'd ever think. I would honestly, I'm just shocked. I'll give you a guess. It's early. Oh, it's early. Yeah.
00:13:28
Speaker
I mean, one, you would just not expect to be like, that's the one that's going to cook. Early, early, early. Is it Alien Romulus? It is not. That one performs very bad all around.
00:13:40
Speaker
ah good. Actually, that one is... Well, technically, I forgot. Alien Romulus would probably be at 19 views because I'd have to take it down and put it back up again. True. So if count the views together, would be at 19, technically.
00:13:53
Speaker
um You want the answer? You want to take one more guess? is it Brisha Terabithia? No. Damn. But Brisha Terabithia on the list. 25 views. cuckoo Ew.
00:14:05
Speaker
Like, what? What are we doing? i mean, we we were talking about Snatch Liquid in that episode. Yeah, if you haven't listened to Cuckoo, it's not a good movie, but we we managed to get some shit out of it.
00:14:16
Speaker
We definitely, and some liquid, and some goo. If I ever see that movie in in physical media lands, I'd probably buy it. I'll let you know next time. i i Bull Moose always has it. Shut up, Moose. Depending price, if it's over like $15, I'll want it.
00:14:30
Speaker
I would say $12 and under for me. And I still wouldn't buy it. ah Okay, number two, you just guessed it. Bridge Terabithia, 27 views. Let's go. It's a great one. Number one, our highest ah recorded episode. I think you already know the answer to this one.
00:14:45
Speaker
It's Hereditary. It's Hereditary with Tyler. Shout out to Tyler. 28 views. Hey, great. We are trying to get that to break 30. So if we break 30, that's the new record. Let's get that over 30 views.
00:14:58
Speaker
Let's get it. Let's get Hereditary and Bridge Terabithia up to 30. Okay? Okay. ah they're They're both that close. Get them up there. And then, you know, we understand y'all taking your time digesting our library of episodes.
00:15:13
Speaker
Take your time. were We're a lot, you know, we are a lot. We're a lot We do. And if you don't, yeah if you don't understand the humor, if you're not with the darkness, the sexness, like, yeah, the dirtiness, we just can't help ourselves.
00:15:27
Speaker
I mean, if do it yeah do we have any followers left after we had... i don't know. Okay, so we I'm both stroking it right now, and you'll never know. I'm under the table too stroking it.
00:15:38
Speaker
ah We had Half-Blood Prince come out, and then yeah unintentionally, Revenge of the Sith was fucking wild. but was crazy. Shout out to Aayla Secura.
00:15:49
Speaker
um Pull on him. Yeah, I want to pull on him. ah That clip is probably my favorite clip we ever made. You definitely think you go ahead. You put in the finest of work. I tried.
00:16:01
Speaker
um But anyways, I think we're going to if you like that, we're going to do maybe every 10 episodes. We'll do an updated list. Yeah, I like you that. We'll see what sort the fluctuation is. I like it. Now that we're 50 episodes in it all, because you know what? i don't know if you've know if you had these experiences in like in public, but if you tell someone, God forbid you have noticed.
00:16:21
Speaker
Hi, I'm from Two Guys, One Screen. Yeah, that's me. We've never had a face reveal. Yo! You're that AI generated dude on the couch. I know you. But, you know, okay, so that's two things, right?
00:16:34
Speaker
So, the first thing is when you tell someone, oh, I have a podcast, God forbid you say that because that's like frowned upon for some reason. But then you go, yeah, but we got 50 episodes out.
00:16:46
Speaker
but we got fifty episodes out So how many y'all 50 episodes deep already? Hmm. How many of y'all come up in your one year anniversary? Hmm. Hmm. Y'all probably, y'all probably stop making it. You're like, we're not making it. Yeah. well We're in here for the long haul. All right. Yeah, we are. All right. We hauling it.
00:17:04
Speaker
ah and the other thing I was going to say is i don't think I did face recognize, but when I introduce people, myself to people, I go, my name is Nick. And for some reason, like just this week, a lot of new people this week at my new job.
00:17:17
Speaker
I was like, someone's go be like, my name is two guys, one screen. Yeah. That would be wild. Because say it in the same tone. Obviously, that would never happen. Our highest view count is 30 or 28. um twenty eight Obviously, that would never, ever happen. But here we are. Here's the thing, though. like How many of those 30 people do we know?
00:17:36
Speaker
That's the thing, one right? Do you want to go over that? Do you want to go over that? you got analytics like that, Chief? I got analytics and anal beads. What's Pull them out. Each one come out. ah Yeah. hello Also, we're encroaching on 1,000 total plays. So shout out to us.
00:17:52
Speaker
Shout out us, yo. Yo, 50 episodes, 1,000 views total is pretty good. I'm not mad at it. um Okay, so to give you my location because this is very interesting. We got one download in Brazil. Shout out that person. You're probably dead because the people in Brazil, ah the government is killing their own people.
00:18:10
Speaker
That's fucked. Very sorry for you. we got We got two downloads in the UK. Ednet. They're probably Harry Potter fans. we got Dude, we got two Yamins in Algeria downloaded. That's like Africa, bro. and Y'all got cell service in Africa?
00:18:27
Speaker
Uh-oh. Yo. Yo, instead of listening to the podcast, how about you eat something? What the fuck? We got some cultivation.
00:18:38
Speaker
um That was crazy. We love you. How do they how do they find that shit? who Dude, i just i didn't even I thought this was a part of the UK. We got the Netherlands. 34 downloads. We big in the Netherlands. We going on tour.
00:18:53
Speaker
Two guys one screen live in the Netherlands. Live and uncut. We are cut, though. And then we got we got one download in Turkey. Shout to Turkey. um Are there more in here? Turkey?
00:19:08
Speaker
I think they speak Turkish, yeah. ah Jake, let us know. um Oh, also, before we get to the voicemail, we hope you guys enjoyed, because we haven't actually talked to you, our new series, Yeah, You Want It. You want it? Yeah.
00:19:23
Speaker
ah It's literally been created due to we don't go out as often as we used to to buy movies. At least I don't. I don't, yeah. Yeah, so when we have stuff every couple weeks, we'll do a Yeah, You Want It. It did get, I mean, i will say it's doing pretty good considering it just came out.
00:19:38
Speaker
Really? It's at 15. It's been out for nine days. Pretty good. I'm pretty happy about that. Yeah. um I actually got ah i got a physical.
00:19:49
Speaker
So anyways, 50 episodes. We're at 51. Thank you to everyone that listens, even tries to comment, even if you're a stranger and we've flamed you on internet. Yeah, but it's all jokes. We appreciate it but youre kidding We'll flame you and then love you at the same time.
00:20:05
Speaker
Yeah, but some of this I'm not really happy about, but honestly, it's beef on the internet and that gets clicks. So let's do it. We have a nine minute, uh, nine minute voicemail that I'm going to play like this, but then just insert it. You guys can actually hear it. Go ahead.
00:20:23
Speaker
It's setting up a future review. Correct. Which, yes. So, well, this is about a guy. This is from a guy who wrote in requesting a movie that we haven't reviewed yet.
00:20:35
Speaker
Right, because we were like, nah. Well, there was a few things that we can get into after this. but let's Let's play the voice, but then we'll get into it. All right. Hello there.
00:20:46
Speaker
This is Ron Rockstone calling from an undisclosed damoolist. Your boy was feeling a little peckish. i had to pick up one of their rotatory chips. The backers are pretty good on it.
00:20:58
Speaker
Take the
Movie Review: Final Destination: Bloodlines
00:21:00
Speaker
skin off it.
00:21:03
Speaker
fairly healthy yeah take your time run bit high sodium but i drink enough water i'm gonna wash it up i'm calling this is not a call i want to make this a call i feel like i have to make because i've been slighted uh hoodwinked bamboozled uh the victim of two saboteurs two saboteurs named nick and gerard gerard uh they lied to me is what they did we lie to you See, I was promised in an email that you would review recommended move on the Devil Wears product.
00:21:43
Speaker
And beyond this email, I was promised in episode 43, Snowbacaine, where you guys did a double feature and reviewed both the Snow White remakes and Nobacaine.
00:21:54
Speaker
I'm sure you remember you were there.
00:21:58
Speaker
um There would be a giveaway once. We did. which That would run until April 21st, and I apologize. We ran it. i did not I did not submit anything to the giveaway, but you guys had too many rules and stipulations. Too many rules, huh? Come on, man.
00:22:16
Speaker
It's my favorite moment of the podcast. Too much work. Too much work. Too much to add. Okay.
00:22:27
Speaker
But you also made another promise that following the conclusion of the giveaway, for episode 47, you guys will review a fan-requested movie. And not only any fan-requested movie, the request of me, Mr. Ron Rockstone, and his movie of The Devil Wears Prada. Now, I waited.
00:22:51
Speaker
I did. I waited. Sitting up pins and needles. I waited with bated breaths.
00:22:58
Speaker
Come to find what hits my Spotify is episode 47. But for some reason, I saw the title and it said, it said unhinged. And I thought, you know what?
00:23:11
Speaker
You know, I'm going to blame this on the program in which they upload. They clearly type the Devil Wears Prada, but somehow it autocorrects it. It's a nasty little bugger, isn't it?
00:23:25
Speaker
Somehow autocorrected to unhinged, whatever. It's as interesting as 2020. And I'm like, well, that can't be either because everybody knows that the Double Wards probably came out in 2005.
00:23:39
Speaker
Everybody. It was not real. All those fans. So, mean, now. All right. So that's three. That's that's a third of it. Okay. We're going to keep going.
00:23:51
Speaker
Okay. You know? Here we go. Three more minutes. um Still Ron Rockstone.
00:24:02
Speaker
Listen to part one and cut me off. It cut me off. So, you'll imagine my surprise when I listened to the episode and there was no talk about a certain Big Devil Wears Prada. It said about completely unrelated movie, Unhinged, which wasn't requested by Iron Rockstone. It was requested by your cousin?
00:24:35
Speaker
Nepotism? Am I the victim of nepotism? Oh, man. So, I thought we eliminated DEI in this country, but God damn it.
00:24:47
Speaker
I was wrong. No, of course not. Of course not. Could you pay?
00:24:57
Speaker
Don't talk and drive. Because you just have to
00:25:03
Speaker
It's only right. You have to keep your word. Hmm. But you have to do. You have to. It's mandatory. You have to.
00:25:14
Speaker
Yeah, Rob. You have to watch The Devil Wears Proud at as early as convenient. Okay. Then they've done that, bud. Podcast episode as soon as humanly possible.
00:25:27
Speaker
Even earlier than humanly possible. If at all possible. Mm-hmm. And you're going do another thing for me because not only did you not upload it on episode 47, but you didn't upload it on episode 48. I understand episode 48 was going to be a Harry Potter because understand the format you alternate between Harry Potter and some other movies.
00:25:50
Speaker
But episode 49, I thought, hmm, okay. Okay, you might do it on episode 49. Especially since episode 48, you were asking for suggestions for movies. Yeah, in December of last year. Episode 49 comes out, and it's Revenge of the Sith. You know what? Revenge of the Sith got the big re-release.
00:26:09
Speaker
It's Star Wars Day. May the Force be with you. With you, too Revenge of the Sith. May the Sith. Whatever you want. I understand. And to come to find out, listening to that episode, that you started a new series where you were reviewing Pirates of the Caribbean films.
00:26:27
Speaker
You could have voted, Ron. What fuck?
00:26:33
Speaker
I'm a loyal fan. There's just, there's no excuses. So you're going to do another thing. Yeah. You're going to watch another movie for me. Now, I am going to be so much generous, I'm going to give you a choice of two movies.
00:26:48
Speaker
Oh, wow. One of those movies is coincidentally another fashion magazine. Based around another fashion magazine. There's 13 going on thirst. An absolute classic. you A banger from Jennifer Gardner.
00:27:02
Speaker
All right, cut off. We got three more minutes from Ron Rockstone. Ron, I think it's pretty fucking obvious you're a troll, bud. It's in a part one and two. Yep, we get it. Mercy Going on 30 is a banger from a banger from Mark Ruffalo.
00:27:20
Speaker
It's absolute classic, top to bottom, front to back.
00:27:26
Speaker
But if for some reason that doesn't pickle your fancy. Mm-hmm. For some reason, youre you're youre here your Garfield is not adequately lasagna-ed enough. Interesting.
00:27:37
Speaker
the Then I have another movie for you. Coincidentally, also starring Jennifer Gardner. And that goes by the name of Draft Day. no no No, no, no, no, no. See, Ron, you don't get any airtime for recommending draft day.
00:27:52
Speaker
Sorry, we're going to cut that off there, I think. Pretty sure we specifically said we will never review draft day on this podcast. I'm pretty sure the email that your friend wrote in for draft day, we roasted him for. We are not reviewing draft day ever. We already discussed that. We appreciate you calling in, but if you're to talk about draft day, you don't get any airtime. That's what it is.
00:28:11
Speaker
let make okay Let's make a couple things clear here, Ron. Let me retort to this a little bit. okay i don't want I don't want to pull back the curtain too much. okay Because protect the innocent.
00:28:22
Speaker
and i mean yeah which Who aren't so innocent, but it's fine. I was seeing a girl from a dating app who is a friend, an acquaintance of Ron Rockstone.
00:28:35
Speaker
okay Now, I come to find out that Ron has figured out that your boy has a podcast. So its it's always been the, I never met him in person. Now, did I speak to him on the phone?
00:28:49
Speaker
Yes. And did he make me or try to force me into releasing an episode sooner rather than later? Also, yes. That is true. Did I tell of Ron the earliest I could put it on was episode 47?
00:29:02
Speaker
Also, yes. All those things are true. Now, we said in several recordings, if you call, that is priority. That's a phone call.
00:29:12
Speaker
That's a big W in our book. Ron, you got to understand, we had never had a phone call ever in the history of this podcast. So the you can call it nepotism or you can just call it balls ah by a woman to call into our podcast and recommend a movie.
00:29:31
Speaker
um I have a few more things to say. You claim to be a loyal fan to this podcast. Okay? Now, here's the here's the fact of the matter. We're doing it we're reviewing Final Destinations right now. We're going to end this recording and go do The Devil Wears Prada next. That's going to come out. I'll give you the date, Ron.
00:29:51
Speaker
It's coming out June 17th, Ryan, episode 56. Take it to the bank because if we're recording after this. Now, you're a self-proclaimed biggest fan of this podcast, and you recommend a movie that in a million years, in a million movies, Gerald and I would never fucking like.
00:30:08
Speaker
There are 50 episodes of Gerald and I talking about film, and you recommend that piece of dog shit, not even to mention draft day. Not even to mention draft day.
00:30:20
Speaker
And what ah what what makes, because your email specifically said that I would fuck with it. First of all, my name is Gerald Budd, not Gerard. Gerard? Diehard fan? Oh boy, good movie. um why Why do you think I would like The Devil Wears Proud?
00:30:36
Speaker
Is that what we're doing here? Are you assuming my sexuality, Ron? Is that what's going on here? It's just So we're trying to tell you're you're walking the line of is he actually a fan of our podcast or is he actually are you trolling us? Are you trolling us?
00:30:55
Speaker
You're talking about eating chicken. Nobody fucking wants to hear about that. Although I respect you getting a rotisserie chicken. That shit's fire. but Yeah. Roto gang for sure. For sure. OK, now. So we're going to maintain our promise.
00:31:07
Speaker
I will say one more time. i think I'm going to tell this episode calling out Ron Rockstone. Yeah. Episode 56, because we're recording this literally next after this, is going to be the Dev Wars product. we will We are going to record it. It will be edited and will put out.
00:31:21
Speaker
Okay? Now, the other thing I'm going to take up with your voicemail. You just complained that it was too complicated to enter the giveaway. But you just called us, and you could have called us for a whole month, and you would have won.
00:31:34
Speaker
would have won the giveaway. That was literally, but if you didn't want to do the Instagram thing, bet. You could have just called. You took, you took, you just complained that it was too much work, but you just called and left a nine-minute voicemail, Ron. um Nine minutes. It takes less than nine minutes to follow us and comment your favorite moment from the podcast.
00:31:52
Speaker
As a self-proclaimed fan, that shouldn't be too hard for you, Ron. Or Ron Weasley head ass. You could have. like that You like that?
00:32:03
Speaker
You could have left a 30 second voicemail and we would have been good to go. you but you You could have called and said, hey, this is Ron Rockson. Love what you guys do. Bye.
00:32:14
Speaker
You would have gotten in three votes. You would have beat up my slut cousin. Yeah. Shout out to her. That bitch got her shit yet.
00:32:22
Speaker
She don't want it. She don't want it. No, she don't want it. It's fucked. Dude, but that that's the thing. She a real fan. She's just trying to continue contribute to our podcast growth. Right.
00:32:33
Speaker
That's what it is. She's just trying to contribute. Mr. Rockstone, I feel you're only here to bring us down. I genuinely don't know why Ron thought we'd like the Devil Wears Prada.
00:32:46
Speaker
I don't know you this, Ron. 13 going on 30 is not going to be a good one either. Mark Ruffalo may be in it, bud. But Meryl Streep is in Devil Wears Prada. Is Meryl Streep a piece or not?
00:32:59
Speaker
I'm fucking the shit out of Meryl Streep, dude. Yeah, but you can get it. Yeah. 13 going on 30. Does have a 3.6 rating on Letterboxd. don't give a fuck. Here's the thing, right?
00:33:11
Speaker
Andy Serkis. I'm sorry.
00:33:14
Speaker
We know nothing about fashion, Ron. We wear what we want. you know Yeah. Catch me wearing that newest Kanye t-shirt? Cut that. not
00:33:28
Speaker
That was wild. You know? Half my shirts are, you know, band shirts. So, if that says anything about me, don't care about your Dolce & Gabbana, your Louis, your Prada, your Fendi. You know?
00:33:48
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I hear you. Go off, Queen. Might catch me rocking a North Face, but that's not... Ain't nothing. Yeah, besides Conclave, movies with Stanley Tucci, not for us.
00:34:02
Speaker
That's it. And even that movie's probably not for you, so it's fine. Because like God? ah Not even about God. You probably would just say it was boring. That's just kind of how you operate. like Ralph Fiennes, though.
00:34:14
Speaker
Ralph Fiennes is fine.
00:34:18
Speaker
So we're making the promise now, Ron. We are making the promise to release the Devil Wears Prada June 17th. Okay. Now it's coming up. You heard it here. for And all of our audience heard it. You can't come on this podcast and claim that we promise you were promised this. You were promised that when not once we promise you shit.
00:34:36
Speaker
I said I could get it out at the earliest of the episode 47. And then we had a phone call the first ever in podcast history. We have to honor that. That's PR. Yeah. It was a good movie, Ron.
00:34:48
Speaker
And to be fair, Ron, you are not the first email. It's true.
00:34:55
Speaker
Now, if you have a problem with it coming out, as you would say, so late, all right? Yeah. got We got to finish up Harry Bopper. Right, the finale, grand finale. we got ah We got a heater.
00:35:08
Speaker
heater. All right. like cadecker And then we have ah new release, Ballerina. We're big John Wick fans out here, so we got to do that. ah huh You just happened to get us...
00:35:19
Speaker
At a bad time. At a bad time. That's all it was. Yeah. you It's bad timing on your part. it's I didn't say, I didn't call my cousin and be like, hey, this guy wants to read this movie, calls him to do it. That's not what happened.
00:35:30
Speaker
We didn't need to fuck you over. No. And honestly, I thought she had told me she was going to call in regarding Harry Potter, which she hasn't done yet. She called at a left field curveball and said, review this movie.
00:35:45
Speaker
So that's what it is. Now, we're we we are, you know, we're still fucking roasting you, but we're here to squash the beef, bud. Yeah, we're going to review this movie. Now, there's going to be beef after you hear a review about it.
00:35:57
Speaker
You're not going to like that. You're going to hate the review. That's for sure. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yep. You're going to hate it. haven't made it yet, and I know for damn sure you're going to hate it. Yeah, the energy's going to change.
00:36:08
Speaker
But it will be a fucking scene-by-scene, and there's not much scenes to be seen, Ron. Every goddamn scene that goddamn... I mean, there are some... Ron, I will give you this, Ron. You did recommend the movie with some hotties in it, okay? And I do have to give you that.
00:36:22
Speaker
Joey!
00:36:25
Speaker
Ron, if you're a real fan, I'm kind of i'm kind of questioning your loyalty here. Draft Day will not be getting reviewed ever. ah Let that be known for all listeners. We're not reviewing Draft Day. The way we're reviewing Draft Day is if Kevin Costner himself calls in and says, I'd like to see you review the movie I was in.
00:36:41
Speaker
Then we'll do it. And 13 going on 30. Bro, if you send us a picture of your titties or your vagina right in the bottom, review draft day, ma we'll do it.
00:36:52
Speaker
We're doing it. On site. On site of your pussy lip, we're doing but doing it. I'll review it from my job. I don't give a fuck. don't give a fuck. We'll do on fucking Uvu for all we care. Uvu.
00:37:05
Speaker
yeah ah Yeah, so that's our voicemail.
00:37:13
Speaker
Okay, so we're going to get into our review about Final found Destination Bloodlines right after this.
00:37:25
Speaker
Five stars? Not even close. We're fucking back. You guys, it's been seamless, but I mean, what did we take? 40-minute break? Half-hour break?
00:37:36
Speaker
Yeah. How long was it? How long was I out? was a minute. minute and a half. Um, we're gonna go over the Final Destination Bloodlines cast, uh, directed by Zach Lepofsky and Adam B. Stein. Talk about an, um, and that's a fucking, come on.
00:37:56
Speaker
You think he's an arrow? Yeah.
00:38:01
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. No, he's a Jew, for sure. He's a, we gotta to get one for Jew. Yeah, we He's a man Frank, alright? Yeah.
00:38:13
Speaker
He's in the attic. Yeah, he's in the attic. Alright, here is your cast. There are some fucking haiyadarns on this list. Oh, they could be nines.
00:38:25
Speaker
That's a nine. Yeah,
00:38:30
Speaker
this movie is directed by Adam B. Stein. Nine!
00:38:35
Speaker
not no Exactly. Oh, fuck. Hey, it just means no. It's fine. yeah So it stars Caitlin Santa Juana. Santa Juana. She's a, yeah, we fucking her, right?
00:38:51
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. No doubt.
00:38:56
Speaker
Also who that boy, who him is. She plays Stephanie Reyes, but her name is spelled like Stefani. That's a thought name. Stefani is a thought name? For sure.
00:39:07
Speaker
and Okay. Yo, if someone hit my phone named Stefani Reyes, that's definitely a thought. All right. That's fair. Next, we got... and I almost said Tio.
00:39:18
Speaker
ah Teo Briones, who plays Charlie Reyes. He was in Wind River. Okay. at Pretty good. He's also slated to be in Five Night at Freddy's 2. Oh, was he the kid from Chucky?
00:39:33
Speaker
Chucky? Speaking of which, Alamo, out to Alamo, is playing ah Bride of Chucky in theaters next month. That's pretty cool. You should go see that.
00:39:43
Speaker
They're also playing Frankenhooker. Really? Have you seen Frankenhooker? No, that's the one I'm missing. You want to see, right? Okay. Yeah, that's the one I'm missing. Maybe you should maybe you should come visit. Yeah. you can go see Frankenhooker at Alamo.
00:39:56
Speaker
What a date. ah We're so fucking gay. He's Charlie Reyes. He's Stephanie's brother. We got, i don't know, Raya. And then that last name, I don't know. kill Kill shit.
00:40:09
Speaker
so Kill slate. Kill stead or something. She plays Darlene Campbell Reyes. She's the mom. ah i ain't fucking her. i don't know about you.
00:40:22
Speaker
Nah, I mean, like, maybe, like, five, maybe ten years earlier. He ain't fucking it. She was in Home Alone 3? He ain't fucking it. I've never made deep impact without a tiny wiener.
00:40:34
Speaker
Right. ah We have Richard Campbell who plays... Oops. I read the character name and the actor's first name. His name is Richard Harmon who plays Eric candledall Campbell. You will see on there that he was in Trick or Treat.
00:40:48
Speaker
Who was he in Trick or Treat? He was the vampire kid. Really? He was the fucking vampire kid on the bus who knew there was something wrong. Yeah, that's wild.
00:40:59
Speaker
I just want to say that Eric by far is my favorite character in the whole film. For sure. Yeah, you kind of like... He was the tongue-piercing tattoo guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's kind of like a dick, but then like you find out like ah the thing you find out, and you're like, oh, I'm sorry. But also also, he's comedic relief, and it's actually funny.
00:41:18
Speaker
And his death is amazing. Yeah. ah We got Owen Patrick Joyner, who's Bobette Campbell.
00:41:29
Speaker
Who that boy, who him is. I didn't think he was a very good actor. He was born in 2000. What the fuck is going on? Did you think he was like bad acting or you think that's the direction they were given?
00:41:42
Speaker
I didn't think i actually didn't think anybody was like bad in this movie as far as acting. Am I crazy? I didn't see it. Just this guy. Oh, we have Anna Lore who is Julia Campbell. She can fucking get it. Goddamn twink.
00:41:57
Speaker
Twink? That's a gay person. That's a gay guy. Huh? A twink is a gay person. But you can be a twink, can't you? If you're hot? I don't know. Damn.
00:42:08
Speaker
No wonder you didn't agree with me right away.
00:42:11
Speaker
Yeah, but she can get it. Twink is gay slang for a man. Yeah.
00:42:18
Speaker
Alright, well. Learn something every day. But she fucking get it, am I right? She can.
00:42:27
Speaker
Slated to be in the Black Phone 2. There you go. I like that movie. ah We have Breck Basinger, who is Iris Campbell. shes She's also a fucking piece. Also has not been in much.
00:42:44
Speaker
Who that boy, who him is. She's Iris. ah If I didn't say that. We have the legendary, I believe this is his final appearance in a film, Tony Todd.
00:42:55
Speaker
R.I.P. He plays William Bloodworth. Very, what's the word? It was wild what his final speech was but before he walked out the door and then you'd like you know that he actually died in real life.
00:43:08
Speaker
I think he knew like when he was filming it, so he's like, I got an idea. I mean, with respect, he looked like shit. He did. He looked very sick. He was frail. like he looked Yeah, he looked ill. R.I.P. to a legend. We did a whole special episode for Tony Todd. We did Candyman. Go check that episode out.
00:43:26
Speaker
And, you know, iconic ah Final Destination character. He's an all-in. Yeah, I mean, we don't really need to tell you who Tony Todd is. You don't fucking know. Now you do. He was Candyman. If you don't know, now you know. you know, brother.
00:43:38
Speaker
There you What'd you say? i said, there you go. Yeah, he's a non-mean. We got Andrew Tinpo Lee, who plays Marty Ray as he is the father. And, uh... Who that boy, who him is?
00:43:52
Speaker
My father. We got, uh... Gabrielle Rose who plays Iris Campbell as an old woman. She gave her best. up Who is that bitch?
00:44:05
Speaker
From Halloween. Oh, she's like all fucking paranoid. Yeah, ah Laurie Strode. Yeah, give her best Jimmy Lee Curtis impression. Should we just talk about it now since I'm thinking of it?
00:44:16
Speaker
I had a question, right? If you're trying to evade death, why does your house like all like have barbed wire and spikes all around it? like Shouldn't you be like in a pillow cushioned room?
00:44:27
Speaker
Yeah, like the things that they put like the straight jacket people in? Yeah, I agree with you. can't there.
00:44:34
Speaker
It just kind of craves me that that's where she lives. Like, it's not like the safest place to be in, girly. ah We have Alex Zahara, who plays Howard Campbell. You listen to this guy chew glass for ah solid period of time.
00:44:49
Speaker
he was in 2012. He was in a horns that, you Radcliffe movie. I have not seen this, but seen it is freaks me out just looking at it. And actually, I'm not sure why i didn't give him the button.
00:45:01
Speaker
Who that boy, who him is. I'm not fucking him either. Just for the record. I ain't fucking that other old lady either. Nah, sorry. ah We got April Telleck, who plays Brenda Campbell. She's his wife. She just kind of gives off Karen energy to me.
00:45:16
Speaker
Big Karen energy. agency This picture's like, going to give you a problem at a packed Costco grocery line. You know what mean? right yeah Right, yeah. Who that fuck, that bitch? She was in recently on the podcast in Minecraft.
00:45:29
Speaker
He ain't fucking it. The black one? not No. oh The fuck's her name? Who was she Minecraft? She was dating the villager. Oh, oh, oh, oh, yes. Jennifer Coolidge.
00:45:42
Speaker
Yeah. But Jennifer Coolidge is a fucking piece, though. I know. This looks like bargain bin Jennifer Coolidge. You know what? You're not wrong. agree with that 100%. Who else we got on this goddamn list?
00:45:56
Speaker
got Max Lloyd-Jones, who plays Paul Campbell. And the rest of these, I think we're skuggy a y-y-y-y-y-yip. Oh, shout out to Noah Bromley, who's the penny kid. He's kid the kid that's a tower that's going to throw pennies.
00:46:10
Speaker
Which, like that would have been such a cool kill because like everyone like always talks about, oh, if you drop a penny from the Empire State Building, it'll go through you. like That would have been fucking funny to see. um Yeah, that's everybody.
00:46:23
Speaker
think we're good there. That's it. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I really fucking like this movie. Like a lot. I really enjoy it. I was cackling at this movie at certain parts. like like Like in the corner having a fucking party all by myself.
00:46:38
Speaker
So they knew what they were doing. Yes. They're like, alright, it's a prequel. But not really. It's camp. it's Yeah.
00:46:50
Speaker
They're like, people just want to see how people die. Like that's literally all Final Destination is. Right. But we're going to make the dialogue a little bit better. The storyline a little bit better. The gore, obviously bad, but better than most of the ones that have already come out.
00:47:08
Speaker
Yeah, the CGI was not great, but... I mean, substantially better than most of the Final Destination franchise to me. That's true. The first two were practical, and then they kind of went into...
00:47:19
Speaker
you Yeah, I mean, I gave Final Destination one star. I don't like most of these films. Final Destination 5, I gave it two. And then I think I gave one two. I gave one a three star. I gave two and three a two and a half.
00:47:33
Speaker
So like I just, they're fine. Right. It's more like, I feel like those movies are more nostalgia, if anything else. Yeah. And like they gave people paranoia for certain things, like the logs, the log scene in part two.
00:47:49
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. all They did a callback to it in this at the end. Oh, with the yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, when the tree and train came in. There are parts that I, at first, like, I don't like this. Then they made it right. And I was like, okay, I'm okay with this. Yeah. This is the right way to do a prequel, if you ask me.
00:48:12
Speaker
Because I was so confused about, like, came from hell. Came from the depths of hell, dude. Yeah.
00:48:22
Speaker
Because I remember the the so the teaser trailer or just the trailer was a tattoo shop, quote unquote, kill. Right. um So then when the when the movie opens and you're like in like the 1920s or whatever it is, I'm like, how do we get to modern times?
00:48:38
Speaker
Yeah. So I kind of like the way they bridge the gap. And I like that it was a they frame it as like it was a premonition. which most movies all start as a premonition and doesn't actually happen.
00:48:50
Speaker
Yeah. And then, uh, the way they're able to bridge it and she turns into like this psycho, like I have to protect myself from death. I just don't get the, I'm put myself in a house with barbed wire, booby traps, spikes.
00:49:02
Speaker
I think it was just for dramatic effect. For sure. Also that kill old Iris's death wouldn't have happened without that. Right. Exactly. Exactly. By the way, do you think the blood on her face was practical? Like the splatter threw onto... Yeah, think That looked practical to me. It was thick.
00:49:19
Speaker
It was thick. That was some thick... Yeah, that was saucy. well They got some real thick blood. ah I'll share with you So besides the kills and the kills I enjoyed, like I really liked the lawnmower kill on Howard.
00:49:34
Speaker
Good old Howard. Yeah, it took the he steps in that glass and then he gets the also this the Final Destination of franchise is just so good at fucking edging you. They're just like, is it this? It's it going to be this.
00:49:44
Speaker
I was just going to say RuPaul. It's literally like Ru Goldberg. Yeah, machines killing people. alma does a custom commercials and then they had one it was like a like tom the cat built a uh goldberg fucking contraption to like get tom is that right yeah to get tom tom did it to get jerry to get jerry i said tom did it to get tom it's what it is i got distracted trying to get himself yeah ah No, but I enjoy it. and it's always it's very it's like
00:50:16
Speaker
You think about it the same way. you're like Who fucking thought of this for like the Saw movies? like Who the fuck thought of this for Final Destination? like Who came up with like the the branch cutter into the blower into the fucking...
00:50:29
Speaker
into the soccer ball into the trash can into the garbage can yeah like who thought of that shit but to me speaking of the garbage scene that scene where eric's like yeah you've been dangerous and he's like tonguing down the fucking garbage truck he was like he was like air pumping it he was like tire he was like riding the fucking tire he's the guy was yeah you want it Yeah, you were on it, dude. He was fucking grinding all up on it, dude. it was so
00:51:00
Speaker
That was so funny to me. so i was forward ah I'm going to ask you your favorite kill. But before that, for all you listeners, um basically the general plot is Iris is the grandmother of Stephanie and what the fuck's his name?
00:51:20
Speaker
We should say this. So some whites married some owls, and now we have like the main characters. Yeah, now we got some like interracial. Yeah, they were trying to get gentrified. She doesn't look Asian, though.
00:51:31
Speaker
Her brother looks Asian, but she kind of looks Hispanic. No, she looks mixed. She looks like because her dad is Asian for sure. Yeah, and her mom is white. Her mom don't look white, white, though.
00:51:42
Speaker
Like her aunt looks white, white, but she don't look white, white. What? Native American.
00:51:48
Speaker
I'm sure the actress they cast it might be Native American.
00:51:54
Speaker
names like canadian She's Canadian. Oh my God. We got another Drake out here. Drake being Yameen's. Look at this picture though. but we I'm hard right now. Shit.
00:52:06
Speaker
But anyway, she has that premonition like you were saying yeah in a tower. So basically this whole like tower. She sees 9-11 happen. Damn near, right? It's basically like the basically the space needle from Seattle.
00:52:19
Speaker
Why don't you do that, by the way? What the fuck? they just make it the space needle? That would have been way yeah better. instead this Yeah. The sky view. Yeah. yeah There were some cool kills in that, though. But basically, she has this premonition, right? And you see what would have happened if ah if she didn't stop this little kid from throwing this penny.
00:52:37
Speaker
And then she got all the people at the dance floor. Dance floor. ah Because, like, the the glass was cracking. Because it was five months. Which, how do y'all not notice that fucking it's cracking? How do you not notice that?
00:52:50
Speaker
I don't know. But basically, she's the OG... deaths like you know avoided death uh yeah so basically every all the final destinations up to this point are is death going after family members of the people that were in that tower and yeah this is the this is the oh this is the bloodline this is the beginning of the right this is like the rock roman reigns of final destination the bloodline Oh, was like, where's he going with this? Oh, okay.
00:53:23
Speaker
Got it. Yes, you're right. That is interesting to put it like that. in per perspective So, all right, we'll talk about favorite kill first because I don't want to get too ahead of myself.
00:53:34
Speaker
All right. I really did like, it's tied. I like the lawnmower kill a lot. and then the And then the MRI kill I thought was great. and MRI kill is my favorite for sure.
00:53:46
Speaker
Yeah, that was really good. But like specifically Eric in the MRI, like the, that fucking blonde fucking kid, Bobby, his death. I didn't really care about was fine.
00:53:59
Speaker
Yeah. I notice a fucking MRI and MRI machines like fucking churning, churning, churning. And why is there a safety feature to let it go above and beyond? It's death, dude. Death's fucking with you.
00:54:12
Speaker
Death's fucking with you? It's it's it's making the and MRI machine like fucking that ah giant sun thing that Doc Ock was making? Or the sun in the pile of my hands.
00:54:24
Speaker
but So basically, you know, MRIs are just magnets, right? Right. So Eric is fucking pierced up. Yeah, i mean, his cock was too, right? Oh, yeah. That one scene, he had a boner.
00:54:37
Speaker
so like his first like So the MRI machine's going banana cuckoo. It's going above and beyond. like Literally, things outside the room are like getting sucked. Cuckoo, check out our episode.
00:54:49
Speaker
Go check it out. Get to 30. It's at 25. So ah Eric has his septum piercing. That's the one in your nose. And his earrings get ripped out.
00:55:02
Speaker
Septim should be your butt because a septic tank is like poop. So septim should be your butt. I'm just saying. their butt pierced?
00:55:11
Speaker
Get us a million followers. I'll do it. A million followers and you'll pierce your butt? Yeah. I'll pierce it right through the crack. Oh. Yeah. That's got to be some kind of like. No. A million. for a million That's a million likes a million followers.
00:55:26
Speaker
Follow. Yeah. A million followers, I'll staple my fucking sack to my tank. I was going to say I'll get my nipple pierced at a million followers. All right. That's pretty good. That's pretty good, right? Because it's not... Yeah. Which one?
00:55:39
Speaker
They choose. You choose. Okay. The millionth follower gets to choose? Yeah. Or we have a vote. That's the thing, right? Did we say that, by the way? ah Ron, you're mad that we got Pirates Caribbean going, we had a vote.
00:55:53
Speaker
If you followed the page, which you don't follow, we had a whole thing where you could have picked the franchise. On Instagram. And it was a tight race. You could have like changed like changed the tide, you didn't vote. Tighter than my fucking anus.
00:56:04
Speaker
You didn't even fucking vote, dude. Anyways. Anyway. So his nipple piercings get ripped out. And then you're like, what else could be pierced? Oh, his cock. His cock is pierced. So it basically, like you said, it basically gives him a boner.
00:56:17
Speaker
But his cock is pierced for her pleasure. Right. Right. Rips him like towards the um MRI machine. Right. And Bobby is in a wheelchair We're going to let you figure out why he's in a wheelchair.
00:56:29
Speaker
Go see the movie. So the wheelchair gets fucking pulled into the um MRI machine. Gets sucked. Gets sucked towards him, right? And he Bobby's kind of like his penis is like in the MRI machine, right? And he's kind of spread eagle.
00:56:44
Speaker
But then the wheelchair pushes against him and basically snaps him in half and sucks him in. He really arches his back. Right. Picture the ultimate arch, the, the yoga kill, but in an MRI machine from in a violent nature.
00:57:04
Speaker
Yeah. Kind of actually. Yeah. Yeah. Break your du book was fire. By the way, I didn't answer you, but still because Steve was fire. I'm going buy that shit. Yeah.
00:57:13
Speaker
that's your favorite kill. It's tied with the lawnmower kill for me. All the kills in this movie were good. I'm not going to lie. Also, like the trampoline also gives me fucking PTSD because I smashed my face on a trampoline.
00:57:24
Speaker
It's true. Also, how did you not hear the trampoline ripping? ah People were like yelling and talking and whatever else. Hooting and hollering, I guess. Having a good time. ah you texted go ahead na go You texted me that this is not your favorite in the franchise.
00:57:45
Speaker
I'm here to tell you it's my favorite. Oh, that's good. Yeah. i think this is the best one. And that's not recency bias. Yeah. I think... i mean, it's hard because, like, you have to judge it on a scale. Like, we were saying the CGI is not good in the other ones. But, like, we just covered Harry Potter where some of the CGI that was made in the same, like, era, like 2009...
00:58:08
Speaker
CGI in Harry Potter looks amazing. Right. And then the CGI in The Foundest Nation is garbage. So it's like, you have to grade it on a skip at the same time in the year of 2009. And I'm not going to say anything, but same company.
00:58:20
Speaker
Because New Line Cinema is owned by Warner Brothers. So what are we doing? Yeah. So I think it is my well it's going to be by more than a star my favorite my favorite one.
00:58:31
Speaker
It's definitely... I like the first one a lot. ah Yeah. Just because... i don't know. It kind of set... It sets up everything pretty well and the acting's good.
00:58:45
Speaker
And James Wong did it. Where the fuck... say Wong? Yeah. He did one, three... Is it Wang or is it Juan? Who are you talking about? about somebody else? Whole different dude. Okay.
00:58:56
Speaker
He did okay Dragon Ball Evolution, the live-action Dragon Ball movie. That must be good. On Letterboxd. Oh, James Wong. Yeah, it's the Wong one. Yeah. I'll be here all week.
00:59:07
Speaker
Sorry. That Dragon Ball movie has a.9 average on Letterboxd. Yikes, Kabob Jerry..9 is ridiculous, but that movie is ridiculously bad. Hmm.
00:59:18
Speaker
So I have... What do i have this? I have Final Destination 1 at a four star. Did you log it? Or you just rated it? What? This one? Oh, no, you watched it. Yeah, you rewatched it. Okay.
00:59:31
Speaker
Final Destination 1? Yeah. Yeah. September 3rd, 2024. two thousand twenty four Sorry. There you go. I've had a three. Three?
00:59:43
Speaker
Final Destination 1, I've had a three, yeah.
00:59:46
Speaker
So, on my rating... 2000, that is a pre-9-11 movie. Let's go. We don't get many of those on this podcast. Not really, no. But I'm going to give this one a four as well.
00:59:59
Speaker
Yeah, I'm giving i'm giving um'm giving this a four. like I really, i mean, i enjoy the kills. i like This is a movie you're like you're obviously supposed supposed to have fun.
01:00:11
Speaker
Also, I just was not expecting it to be so funny. like i just found it I just found it hysterical. I was laughing my ass off watching it. Right. And like, I, I feel like we're in this renaissance of like these early two thousands, like horror movies coming.
01:00:26
Speaker
Like they're getting not rebooted, but like sequels are coming out and they're just knocking them out of the park. Like saw X knocked out specifically for specifically for horror. You're saying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:00:38
Speaker
Okay. Good. Cause the other shit, I'm not okay with it. Oh no. But larry white yeah, the early two thousands genre is coming back, baby. Because it was shot kind of like a those early movies.
01:00:52
Speaker
Like all the kills, all the cutting and everything. Yeah, when she dies at the end, it like fades completely to black. and like You weren't actually dead. Yeah. Pretty good.
01:01:04
Speaker
Yeah, I think i think I'm at a four as well. I had a good time. I really did have a ah blast watching this movie. I didn't think it dragged at all. No, it's like an hour almost two hours, right?
01:01:16
Speaker
hundred Yeah, it's an hour 50. And I didn't feel it drag even a little bit. No, I was never bored. um And like they didn't overcomplicate the story, you know?
01:01:29
Speaker
They know why you're watching Final Destination. You're there to see the people die. But unlike the later sequels, right the plot in this one actually intrigued me.
01:01:39
Speaker
like It was good to find out why the fuck is death like coming after all these people.
01:01:48
Speaker
Because of a white bitch. Looked like fucking Lucille Ball headass. She looked like a porn star. I beat it, to be honest. ain't gonna lie. Actually, I actually did get some backlash. I heard from my cousin. She doesn't want to hear about who I jerk it to.
01:02:00
Speaker
And I told her I bleeped the name. And she's still like like a still not okay. So, sorry. ah Sorry about that. I'll tell her. i This is Do I dare say this is going to be top five for 2025 for me right now?
01:02:19
Speaker
Do I say that on this podcast? can't be It is. It's going to be number four. Okay, so I should preface by saying I have not seen Sinners, which either I have to go see that.
01:02:30
Speaker
Yeah, I have to go see Sinners. It's big. I haven't seen Thunderbolts. haven't I mean, Thunderbolts probably won't be in my top five. People are fucking sucking it, dude. Are they?
01:02:41
Speaker
so Yeah, they're sucking hard. I saw The Accountant 2. Pretty good. Even though Thunderbolt got like ruined because Marvel ruined it themselves. Fucking dumbasses. Wouldn't it mean got ruined like a spoiler?
01:02:55
Speaker
Yeah, like one of the big things that happens in the movie. Oh, don't tell because I don't know. I won't. They turned it into their marketing scheme after the movie came out. Oh, fuck. Yeah, don't tell me because I haven't heard about it. I literally have not heard about it at all.
01:03:09
Speaker
Is Noah's up there? ah got I got Count of Monte Cristo at number one still. I got Presence at number two. Is this better than Presence? I don't think it is. Presence is not some shit. Presence has like heavy thematic. Like it's different. It's a different kind of good.
01:03:26
Speaker
Cause it's not a horror, but it like, it was marketed as, yeah. yeah Peter Pan's Neverland Nightmares is probably better than that movie. I'll come out and say that. Better than that. No, it might not be though, because they use practical.
01:03:41
Speaker
Ah, that's, if we're doing four star and four star, Practical will beat CG. Yeah. So this might be number three on the list for me. I can throw some fake blood on my own face. You know, I can do that.
01:03:54
Speaker
Right. I could use the filter and make it look like I'm bleeding. Right. So this might be number three on a year for me, which is crazy. I have to go see sinners. That's a ridiculous list to have right now. Do you like this better than Novocaine?
Movie Discussions and Speculations
01:04:07
Speaker
I have Novocaine at three and a half. So I'm, yeah, I, I enjoyed this. i think I enjoyed this more than Novocaine. But I haven't seen Novocaine since the beginning of March, and a lot's happened since then, and I don't really remember.
01:04:21
Speaker
That's fair.
01:04:24
Speaker
March 3rd. I don't think Ballerina's going to beat this. Sorry. um So, I'm a really big John Wick fan, though. That's why I think it might beat it, and they already spoiled that Keanu's in it, and I love Keanu. did. That's fucked, though.
01:04:37
Speaker
Yeah. ah It could. Now, is Ballerina... Because I have all the john um John Wicks between a four and a half and a five. Oh, you like the John Rick movies? I robbed the John Rick movies. I robbed the John Rick full.
01:04:53
Speaker
Oh, Harrow, I can't see shit. Harrow, I'm Brian.
01:05:02
Speaker
have this cane. I fight chicken in my backyard. ah Don't worry, I beat your ass 15 minutes. Don't worry. oh
01:05:15
Speaker
ah I don't think this is going If I had to put it like Ballerina in my John Wick ranking, I don't think it's going to be better than 1, 2, 3, or 4. To be honest. 28 years later has some competition?
01:05:31
Speaker
Maybe? Well, I was talking about the John Wick universe. Ballerina will probably be a 3.5, 4. It'll be up there. years later, he's a Superman. twenty eight years later 28 years later, it could fucking rip. But I love 28 Days Later that much.
01:05:51
Speaker
To be honest, I have to re-watch it. It's very hot. I don't love that movie. But 28 years later, I think looks good. You know what else I saw a trailer for today in theaters, which was nice? I haven't been to the movie theater a long time.
01:06:04
Speaker
I saw a trailer for for Together, which looks good. That looks really good, yeah. And then there was that movie Weapon, which looks like a ripoff of Insidious. Right. Weapons. I saw that too. But Together could be good.
01:06:17
Speaker
Together looks like... a It looks like companion, but better. little bit. Or they could pull like a presence thing. Oh! not Sorry, go ahead.
01:06:28
Speaker
Where it's not like a horror. Yeah, and speaking of that, I saw the Megan 2 trailer. What the fuck are we doing? Fuck that shit, dude. I'm not seeing it. No. No. We're not reviewing it. We're not no seeing it. And I'm a big fan of Megan 1. And we're not reviewing draft day.
01:06:47
Speaker
While we're here. Are we going to do Jurassic World Rebirth? No, we're not. No, we're not. I mean, to be honest, I don't know what we're going to review next because we're going to probably have a couple of banked.
01:07:01
Speaker
Well, July is a heavy month. I'm just saying. July heavy. July going to be heavy at work, too. Because we got Superman. We should say that, too. We don't know yet, but the release day of the week might change. It might not be Tuesdays anymore. It might be a different day.
01:07:16
Speaker
A lot of things are going to change. going to to wait and see. We're edging you. Long story short, we're not going to miss a week. We'll do everything we can to not miss a week. We could not record for a whole month. be fine.
01:07:28
Speaker
Yeah. But a Superman... I'm pretty sure we want to review that. We got nine. we got nine episodes banked. Do you want to do, I know what you did last summer remake?
01:07:39
Speaker
No. Okay. I'm going to go see it. Are we doing Fantastic Four? I'd imagine. Yes. Okay. When is that going on? August? July 25th.
01:07:51
Speaker
Hold on.
01:07:53
Speaker
ah Okay. So we got July 11th for Superman, July 25th for Fantastic Four. Yeah. Oh, together is when July 30th.
01:08:07
Speaker
So I'll have to be a combo. Nope. Different week. I don't know if we're doing August is a little up in the air, but weapons comes out in August. Weapons looks like a fucking insidious fucking ripoff.
01:08:20
Speaker
Nobody too. I want you to watch nobody one. Let's get that far. All right. Watch Nobody 1. And if you want to see Nobody 2 and review it, we can do it. But it's like, watch Nobody 1 first. do you lot body Love Nobody, by the way. I'm not fucking shitting on it.
01:08:38
Speaker
i don't know if we want to review this for the pod, but are you going to go see Americana? You see a trailer for that yet? Nope. ah What do you mean is that? It looks pretty good. It's called Americana? Yeah.
01:08:49
Speaker
Okay. It's got Sidney Sweeney in it. Oh, I mean, just by the poster, I'm probably in for Americana. That's what I'm saying. Trailer looks really good. We have more to say? No, I'm good.
01:09:01
Speaker
Plug it in, plug it in. So follow us on Instagram, TwoGuysOneScreenPod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to TwoGuysOneScreenPod at gmail.com, except for you, Ron.
01:09:14
Speaker
ron you can Ron, feel free to call in. us another email. Do whatever you want. If you call in let's keep it to six minutes. Six minutes and maybe not a movie about fashion.
01:09:25
Speaker
By the way, I'm going to add the entirety of the nine-minute voicemail on the end of this episode. and you guys can listen If you want to hear what Ron said, you can listen to the whole entire thing. but by i'm not giving him I'm not going to waste my breath listening to him talk about fucking draft day.
01:09:38
Speaker
There you go. ah leave us a voicemail 508 8 fist us 508 8 dip tip six minute limit follow us on letterboxd and leave a comment comments on apple music or apple podcast spotify i heard they're good for the algorithm even if you just say hi hi or yeah i would say the clips but the clips might not be around for a little bit Yeah, the clips. Follow us on TikTok and YouTube for the clips.
01:10:07
Speaker
you guys Yeah, look at the old ones. Check out the Star Wars one. Not doing well. um Sad. Nick can teach me how to edit. Edit. To get clips out. You just gotta to fuck around and find out.
01:10:21
Speaker
That's true. It's like making a PowerPoint. You just gotta time it right. Yeah, that's true.
01:10:28
Speaker
So yeah, all that shit's going to be fucking in the description. and You better know. You better fucking click it. Yeah.
Harry Potter Series Conclusion
01:10:35
Speaker
Uh, next week we have the, can you believe we're already done with Harry Potter?
01:10:41
Speaker
Very sad. i don't know what to do with myself now. It's like, it's been nice to live in this world. Uh, Deathly Howls Part 2, we had a great ah conversation, like an actual conversation about that movie, not just ah fucking around and finding out.
01:10:56
Speaker
ah There's a mix of it, obviously. We always bring some of the fucking silly business. Our minds can't help it but not be. know mean? Talking about wands and shit hair and Hermione's tits. I don't know. it's what i That's what's all. You know she got some small ones on her.
01:11:10
Speaker
Yeah.
Upcoming Reviews and Listener Interactions
01:11:15
Speaker
fucking speed bumps to be honest luna does too luna's got a better face also we just really can't help ourselves but i was listening last night to us on part one talk about fucking junie's pussy how erected it yeah it was fucking we just can't fucking help it um No, but Gerald and I had a fucking blast recording those episodes. I mean, they were so much fun to do.
01:11:42
Speaker
And when we make a Patreon, we'll release the entire thing fucking ah start to finish uncut. You guys can hear every fucking
01:11:54
Speaker
cut that. um ah We really appreciate the support. Yeah. um And we have ah we have a slow audience. Take your time. Digest our content.
01:12:05
Speaker
and We heat up for like in the third quarter. and special like Slow as in like we know you're getting there. you know Everybody has lives. Well, Jake follows us, so he's a little... yeah ah jake ro Jake, I'm just kidding. I love you. jake and Ron.
01:12:18
Speaker
um I don't know what I say at the end of part two, but the next week we have a banked episode. It's not Vault because we didn't record it that long ago. Really? Right? Like, when did... Is it in here?
01:12:33
Speaker
think they can find it. ah oh oh will Oh, it is kind of a fucking old one. We recorded it in February. The next week, we have recording for you on The Cat in the Hat. Live action, Mike Myers.
01:12:46
Speaker
I love that movie. It's a great movie. If you don't like it, you're not going to enjoy our conversation. but Because let me tell you, it gets a high rating. Yeah, we um look, we're trying not to just do straight whore. So we're doing cat in the hat. um Do ah follow all the shit like we just said.
01:13:07
Speaker
Be on the lookout where we're edging you closer and closer to our one year anniversary. We have some something special planned. That's what we want to call it. um It's going to be something for sure.
01:13:18
Speaker
And we'll up we'll see you guys Tuesday. Toodles. Fuck you, Mark. Yeah, I didn't forget.
01:13:31
Speaker
Hello there! This is Ron Rockstone calling from an undisclosed Damoulas. Your boy was feeling a little peckish. I had to pick up one of their rotisserie chickens.
01:13:42
Speaker
Macros are pretty good on it. You take the skin off. It's
01:13:49
Speaker
fairly healthy. A bit high sodium, but I drink enough water. I'm gonna wash it up. I'm calling, well this is not a call I want to make. This a call I feel like I have to make because I've been slighted.
01:14:03
Speaker
Hoodwinked, bamboozled. The victim of two saboteurs. Two saboteurs named Nick and Gerard.
01:14:14
Speaker
They lied to me, is what they did.
01:14:18
Speaker
See, was promised I was promised in an email that you would review a recommended movie on The Devil Wears Prada.
01:14:29
Speaker
And beyond this email, I was promised in episode 43, Snowvocaine, where you guys did a double feature and reviewed both the Snow White Remains and the Novocaine.
01:14:40
Speaker
I'm sure you remembered you were there.
01:14:44
Speaker
You promised that there would be a giveaway, one, in which That would run until April 21st, and I apologize. i did not I did not submit anything to the giveaway, but you guys had too many rules and stipulations. I had to follow, I had to comment, I had to say my favorite moment from the podcast. Too much work, too much work, too much to add.
01:15:13
Speaker
But you also made another promise, that following the conclusion of the giveaway,
01:15:18
Speaker
For episode 47, you guys will review a fan requested movie. And not only any fan requested movie. The fan request of me, Mr. Rod Rockstone.
01:15:30
Speaker
And his movie of The Devil Wears Prada. Now, I waited. I did. I waited. I was sitting on pins and needles. I waited with bated breath.
01:15:43
Speaker
Come to find what hits my Spotify.
01:15:48
Speaker
is episode 47, but for some reason, I saw the title and it said, it said unhinged, and I thought, you know what, you know, I'm going to blame this on the program in which they upload, they clearly typed the Devil Wears Prada, but somehow in autocorrected on it it's a nasty little bugger, isn't it, somehow autocorrected to unhinged, whatever,
01:16:15
Speaker
It says, interesting, it's 2020. And I'm like, well, that can't be either, because everybody knows that The Devil Wears Friday came out 2005, the year of our Lord's Day.
01:16:29
Speaker
So, I mean, now, listen to part one and cut me off. Now I'm thinking about user error. So, you'll imagine my surprise when I listen to the episode...
01:16:43
Speaker
And there was no talk ah about a certain The Devil Wears Prada. said about it a completely undelated movie, Unhinged, which wasn't wasn requested by Ron Rothstein. It was requested by your cousin?
01:17:03
Speaker
Nepotism? Am I the victim of nepotism? so so I thought we eliminated DEI in this country, but... God damn it.
01:17:16
Speaker
I was wrong. Oh shit, I want be in this place. Oh fuck, he's gonna let me go. Of course not. Of course not. How about you? Thank you. So there's two ways you can make this up, but you have to repent. Because you just have to.
01:17:31
Speaker
It's only right, you have to keep your word.
01:17:35
Speaker
What you have to do,
01:17:41
Speaker
what you have to do, is You have to watch The Devil Wears Proud at earliest convenience. Record and upload the podcast episode as soon as humanly possible.
01:17:56
Speaker
Even earlier than humanly possible, if at all possible.
01:18:04
Speaker
And you're going to do another thing for me, because not only did you not upload it on episode 47, But you didn't upload it uploaded on episode 48. I understand episode 48 was going to be a Harry Potter.
01:18:14
Speaker
Because I understand the format you alternate between Harry Potter and some other movies. But i was episode 49, I thought, hmm. Hmm, okay. Okay, you might do it on episode 49. Especially it since episode 48, you were asking for suggestions for movies. Episode 49 comes out and it's Revenge of the Sith. You know what? Revenge of the Sith got the big re-release.
01:18:38
Speaker
It's Star Wars Day. May the Force be with you. Revenge of the Fifth. May the Sith. Whatever you want. I understand. And to come to find out, listening to that episode, that you started a new series where you're reviewing Pirates of the Caribbean films.
01:18:56
Speaker
What the fuck?
01:19:01
Speaker
As a loyal fan, there's just There's no excuses. So, you're gonna do another thing me. You're gonna watch another movie for me. Now, I am going to be somewhat generous, I'm gonna give you a choice of two movies.
01:19:17
Speaker
One of those movies is coincidentally in a fashion magazine. Based around another fashion magazine is 13 Going on 30. An absolute classic. A banger from Jennifer Garner.
01:19:30
Speaker
Listed into part one and two. 13 Going on 30 is a banger. Jennifer Garner. It's banger for Mark Ruffalo. Just absolute classic. Top to bottom, front to back.
01:19:46
Speaker
But if for some reason that doesn't pickle your fancy, for some reason your your your your your Garfield is not adequately lasagna-ed enough, then I have another movie for you.
01:20:00
Speaker
Coincidentally, also starring Jennifer Garner. And that goes by the name of Draft Day.
01:20:08
Speaker
Draft Day is a fantastic movie starring Jennifer Garner, as I once mentioned, and Kevin Costner. It's been hailed as a cinematic masterpiece.
01:20:21
Speaker
It's... I'm quite fond of it, to be honest. I think it is... I think it only works because it's the Cleveland Browns.
01:20:32
Speaker
And you just know there's There's no way in any how, in any shape or form, that they have a good draft. So it's like, it's nice that they can have that.
01:20:45
Speaker
That they can have a movie where everything goes right for them. That's the best part. i You don't even see the football. Like, they could fucking lose.
01:20:56
Speaker
Monte Mac could be a bust. Aw, shit. I just spoiled it. Aw, fuck. Aw, shit. Oh well.
01:21:08
Speaker
So you're going to do that. And you're going to write record a podcast around either of those two movies or both. If you are a strapped for ideas, it's episode 48.
01:21:20
Speaker
Or episode 47. That's how
01:21:26
Speaker
that's how you're going to make it up to me. Um... Otherwise, there's going to be very little consequence. don't, I don't, this doesn't make as much of a difference in my life as is that anything, really.
01:21:50
Speaker
I figured I'm on a time limit for this one, too, this voicemail. So, um, I'm just going to let it play out. I'm driving right now. Um,
01:22:18
Speaker
of a lousy day out. It's like, mean, it's better now. It was raining kind of hard earlier. Now it's like sprinkling. You know, windshield?
01:22:29
Speaker
yeah when why you