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NTK313 - Dad Sizzle
66 Plays2 years ago
Noodles and TK talk old curse words and phrases.
The patreon they talk dumb ways to die and how they would like to see each other die.
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Transcript
Opening Banter and Day Recap
00:00:02
Speaker
You're listening to the Cheap Shops Podcast Network.
00:00:37
Speaker
It's time for another adventure. Adventure time. Are you ready? I want to be the dog. He seems smarter. You can be a dog. I mean, I'm sure you've been called worse. Uh, yes, a lot of names. So what's up, dude? Not much. How are you? Good. I'm, uh, had a busy day. How about you? Not as busy. I know.
00:01:08
Speaker
What? I had a busy day. Oh, I did not. I watched football. So did I. The Ducks lost. Their season is over. They're done. I'm sorry. It's okay. They had a very small chance of making the playoffs. Now they have zero chance.
Football Talk: Ducks' Game Analysis
00:01:29
Speaker
So fuck them. Zero. I watch have a chance.
00:01:35
Speaker
No, no, I saw the score of your team. It wasn't great. You got a field goal, though. We did get a field goal. The third string quarterback was in. Why? Just because they're like, fuck it. Uh, no, the second string got hurt. What about the first string? Already hurt. Oh, so you guys are fucked. They were fucked before they began.
00:02:04
Speaker
So yeah, ducks, fuck the ducks. They, they did get, they get, uh, they got ripped off at the end of the game by the refs. But other than that, I mean, fuck them. How'd they get fucked? They caught a ball and, um, got with like, I don't know, one second left and got out and got out of bounds well within field goal range. And.
00:02:34
Speaker
Then they called the penalty saying, Oh, he stepped out of bounds before he caught the ball. Like he caught, he stepped out of bounds, came back in bounds and caught the ball. Oh, you can't do that. Yeah, but they showed the replay. It didn't look like he stepped out of bounds a, and then it looked like he was pushed out of bounds. If he would have stepped out of bounds B. So the refs fucked us. Well, that, and I mean, you've obviously lost more than that game.
00:03:02
Speaker
Yeah, we lost the very first game of the season. Yeah. That was it. They're ranked six in the fucking nation. They won't go to any bowl games
Bowl Games: Importance and Opinions
00:03:13
Speaker
now. Come on now. Fuck bowl games. Who gives a fuck about bowl games? Bowl games are gay and stupid. Okay.
Travel Plans to Alaska: Unique Conditions
00:03:23
Speaker
They are. Fuck. If it's not a national championship, who gives a fuck? Kinda. Yeah.
00:03:30
Speaker
Is your team going to a bowl game? Fuck no. Chili bowl. They're going to the chili bowl to eat. That'd be a good game. I don't want to talk about football. I'm pissed. So I do want to say though, you don't care. You don't care. You don't care about college football. I do. I care about my team. Now I don't, I know I won't watch a second of it. I don't give a fuck who wins anything at this point. They can all kiss my ass.
00:04:01
Speaker
Oh, that's how I feel, but okay. Yeah. Let's go. Let's go on to other things like, uh, Alaska. Okay. You're going to Alaska. Yep. And hold on
Alaska Travel Details and Humor
00:04:19
Speaker
a second. Why is my computer is going to die? Thank God. Oh no. No, it's good. It's good. It's we're good.
00:04:31
Speaker
I thought it was about to die. And I'm going to Alaska. We're both going to Alaska. Well, we all knew that's why you brought it up. Yeah, we are. We all knew that. All of us. It's ironic because you get to go and then right afterwards I get to go. That is ironic. We don't get to go at the same time. No. Or to the same place. Weird. Or the same place. We never get to go to the same place. Very rarely. I think I've worked with you like four times. And now we never will. In history.
00:05:05
Speaker
That's true. Um, so I wanted to kind of talk about, uh, yourself. Not really. Go ahead, buddy. Tell us where you go and tell us all about it. I'm not going to, I'm not going to bring it up now because you, you, uh, your hatred for me is shining through and I don't want to bring it up. No, it's good. Tell us more about your trip. I'm going, where are you going first? First of all, don't care. It doesn't matter.
00:05:34
Speaker
Me neither. Fuck it. I want to hear where you're going. What's up? What did you have? I want to hear what you want to talk about. You know where I'm going. Well, they don't know. They don't know. I'm going to the northernmost tip of America. As far north as you could possibly go online. Where they, the film 30 days of night takes place.
00:06:01
Speaker
Right. I hope a polar bear. You don't, you don't hope a vampire eats me. Whatever. No. Cause you have a chance to live. They turn you or something. You're immortal. I'd be pissed. Uh, yeah, it's, uh, it's going to be, it's going to be pretty crazy. Um, uh, by the time I go, the sun will never come up. It'll be dark 24 seven.
00:06:27
Speaker
That's crazy. It is crazy. I'm excited. And then the aurora borealis will be right above my head
Cost and Transportation for Alaska Trip
00:06:34
Speaker
all the time. Get out when it comes down and suffocate you. What's your dictates like? What do you mean? Because you just suck your own teeth. I know. I'm just excited. I know. I saw it come up. I'm like, I'm going to have to hear about this for a week. Did you even know where it was when you saw it come up? How'd you know?
00:06:58
Speaker
because I've wanted to go there. Can you drive there?
Exploring Old-fashioned Swear Words
00:07:04
Speaker
No. So it's flight only, huh? Yeah. I wonder what kind of plane that's going to be. I'm going to be on, am I going to be on some like puddle jumper? I would imagine my hope is one that has engine failure. This trip must cost like so much money and, and I doubt we're, we're making much money on this.
00:07:29
Speaker
Probably not. It makes me happy. I hope you have to ride on the back of a snowmobile and hold the dude's waist. I hope I get to ride on a snowmobile. That'd be dope. I hope that's my rental car. You don't get one. No, but maybe he'll be like, you can borrow my snowmobile. Good. Maybe you can get it. That'd be like fucking high speed fast food for the polar bears.
00:07:58
Speaker
I doubt there's that many polar bears around there. I warned you not to go outside. So I can't even go out and look at the sky? You can. I recommend you do with meat in your pockets. Knowing my luck, the polar bears will just want to cuddle with me. True. You're a very lucky person. Thank you. What does it taste like? Polar bear? I've never had it. You're a dick.
00:08:27
Speaker
Oh, it's yummy. All right. Your favorite word. Um, so, um, let's talk about, uh, what are you going to do there? I'm going to, uh, work and, and that's it. Sounds like a good time.
00:08:46
Speaker
I mean, well, I don't know what else I don't know. Go to the local bar. I have no idea. I don't even know how many eat your ass. You'll get to learn to fight. You have to fight some dude that doesn't want you in his town. Maybe you can bang an Eskimo. Yeah. I'll look for an igloo. Cool.
Drinking Habits and Preferences
00:09:11
Speaker
I don't it'll have to be like the the man will have to be out skinning whales or something. I'm curious how this conversation would have went if I didn't try to stop it. No, it'd be it'd be fantastic. It'd be much better. OK, let's start over. Where are you going, bud? Oh, borrow Alaska. That's pretty dope. Tell me about it. That's the northernmost point in America. That's insane. Right next to the Arctic Circle.
00:09:40
Speaker
That's crazy. I might see Santa Claus. That's fucking amazing. Yeah, it's where they filmed 30 days of night. Well, they didn't film it there. It takes place there. They filmed it in New Zealand.
00:09:55
Speaker
That makes sense. It's the snowiest place on earth, New Zealand. I'm sure, I'm sure they get snow. Yeah. Lord of the rings. If you ever watch that, I mean the, the snow cap mountains and things, they do have snow. Oh yeah. I don't do that. So anyway, um, let's talk about something else since you're not enthused at all.
00:10:24
Speaker
Well, you've been raping me visually with it. I haven't visually raped you with it. You have. Oh, just showing you like the how it's dark all the time. That part's going to be weird. Like I'm going to be getting up, going to work. Twelve, you know, noon, it's going to be pitch black, one one p.m. pitch, but it's going to be pitch black the whole time. I like that you go to work when it's noon. Yeah, that's their hours. I got you.
00:10:55
Speaker
You might have a better shot. It'll be so dark. Bang, bang, bang, bang. What does that mean? Bang, bang. Sexual relations. Oh yeah. With Eskimos. Yeah. You're an outsider. They got like 12 people. They're like, holy shit, a new penis. They have like 4,000 people that live there. That's a lot. That's quite a bit. So, um, hopefully I'm not staying in someone's house. That would suck.
Lifestyle in Alaska and Football
00:11:22
Speaker
Yes.
00:11:23
Speaker
And they're going to have to make me like skin seals. You're a weird person on my off time. That would that would not be good. So I don't know what to say. Indeed. Indeed. OK. I want to talk about something, though, that you might like. I mean, I like this. So I like 10 old fashioned swear words.
00:11:54
Speaker
You're king of transitions, man. No, we don't need to transition. I mean, it was going to from disaster to disaster. Here we go. Transition to. Hey, guess what? I'm be driving a car this week. It's fucking amazing. I want to get in it. I'm going to steer it. Oh, cool. It's pretty dope. Yeah. No one wants to hear about my life. You've made your point. No, I want to hear it. I want to know what you're going to do. Are you going to go sledding?
00:12:21
Speaker
No, I don't know what I'm going to do. There's nothing to do. Oh, that sounds fun. Like I said, skins and seals. I can see why you're excited. Whale hunting. I don't know what they do there. Maybe you could take a boat that'll hit an iceberg. Why would it have to hit an iceberg? Why does everything have to deal with me dying? It's entertaining. Okay.
00:12:47
Speaker
Well, I know where you're going. Good luck. Good luck with where you're going. For sure. Because I've been there. You're amazing. Bajabbers. Bajabbers? Is he here to read? Bajabbers is a swear word. Bajabbers is a swear word for by Jesus.
00:13:16
Speaker
It's similar to bajezus, but bajabier. Bajezus. Bajabbers is an Irish import along the lines of faith and bigoreth, especially good for toe stubbing. So back in the old days, if you stub your toe, you would yell out bajabbers.
00:13:43
Speaker
dude also these lists aren't supposed to go one by one you're just supposed to go through and pick the good ones that's a good jabbers I like to be we should say bejesus yeah that's that's what they used to say and then it transformed into bejabbers so how is this not a good one what's bejesus it's like bejabbers
00:14:04
Speaker
So they fucking translated Jesus into jabbers like the fucking shark jabber job. Yeah. That's that's just an old Irish swear word. All right. Smash your toe into something. Yell that out. See what it sounds like. All right. The jabbers. That's awesome. It's aggressive. That's extremely aggressive. When you stub your toe, it's always it's pretty aggressive every time. So if I step on like a Lego, I'd be yelling the jabbers.
00:14:34
Speaker
I don't think they had Legos back then. Say you're stepping on a nail. With your bare feet. What? A nail. Stand on a nail? Step on a nail? That's what Jesus did. Do you think he yelled bajabbers? They nailed his hands and feet and they're like, ah, bajabbers. Maybe that's where it comes from. I don't know why bajeezers became bajabiers, but it did.
Old English Insults: Modern Take
00:15:03
Speaker
Sounds a gay slur, like a butt jabber. How about, uh, about this one? Consarn. Consarn. Consarn. It's a substitute for damn. Consarn it. From an 1854 dictionary of North Hamptonshire words. Consarn you. Consarn you.
00:15:30
Speaker
If you don't mind what you're about, I'll give it to you. Slow down and hit both syllables equally hard. And it's like squeezing a stress ball. I need one of those concern, concern, concern, not working. That's um, it's weird. That's a, that was, I don't, it wasn't a good one. No, you're doing good. All right. Concern. It doesn't concern you.
00:16:03
Speaker
Dad sizzle. Dad sizzles dope. That sounds like hot jizz from like on a babysitter. You just got dad sizzle. I'm going to give you some of that dad sizzle. You want some dad sizzle? Uh, dad sizzles to me is like, oh, dad, dad's going to make dinner again. Gonna do some of that dad sizzle. Dick bacon. Cause we, we do a lot of barbecuing as dad. That's true. Dick bacon.
00:16:29
Speaker
What would you say dad sizzle would be the equivalent of today? Come, don't make me... Oh no, I didn't pull out accidentally dad sizzled in you. Not even close. Give me a hint. It's a... Dad sizzles is dope. That's great. It has the Lord's name.
00:16:55
Speaker
And, um, they have one of these, they have one of these, uh, at the Colorado river near Las Vegas. A big one starts with Hoover. It's goddamn. Yes. Goddamn.
Ethnic Slurs and Societal Implications
00:17:15
Speaker
Oh, dad sizzle it. Well, that's what it's basically. Well, dad sizzle it was one way to show you meant business. There were a whole sizzle rate, a whole range of dad forms from dad gum to to dad blast dad sees dad rat dad swamp and many more. All right. Let's go do that list again. Give me the first one.
00:17:41
Speaker
The first one was bajabbers. No, of the dad sizzle variations. There was dad gum. That also sounds like cum. Dad blast. Also cum. Dad sees. That almost sounded like cum. Not like see, like I see you, but like seizure. Oh, that's also cum.
00:18:14
Speaker
Dad rat? Dad rat? Yeah. That is like an Italian dad that talks about the mob. It's an informant. He's a dad rat. It's a CI. Dad swamp? That could be. Your dad has that a lot. Yeah, that's sweaty nuts, bro.
00:18:35
Speaker
And many more, which they don't list. Dad sizzles awesome. I'm going to start using that for cum. Oh, instead of God damn it, you're going to keep using God damn, but dad sizzle will be for when you're coming. You're like, hey, baby, I'm dad sizzling. Bro, I yelled dad sizzle when I'm mad. Dad, sizzle it. Like this kid is retarded. He is a retard. You've heard of dad gum. Oh, dad gum it.
00:19:04
Speaker
Yeah, I know. But dad gum sounds like come to though. I've never heard of any of the other ones. Dad sizzles. Like that's Jizz. Everyone use dad sizzle for Jizz. I mean, I like it. Dad sizzled on my hand. Dad blast is pretty good. Dad blast is good. Oh, blast it. Dad blasted or something like that. Dad blast. It didn't say dad blast it.
00:19:37
Speaker
Okay. Dad sizzle. Okay. That's the best one. That's the best one we're going to find. What about thunderation? Thunderation is pretty dope. Thunder nation is like a Native American tribe. Or like some WWE type of group. Tonight, thunderation 12.
00:20:07
Speaker
And can you guess what it's the substitute for? Thunderation? Yes. I'm guessing something to do with dam or goddamn it. You're pretty close, damn, pretty fucking close. Damnation. Damnation. It's, it's, it's a substitute for damnation similar to tarnation and botheration.
White Privilege and Profiling Discussions
00:20:31
Speaker
Tarnation is racist. It's Chicago.
00:20:37
Speaker
Instead of WTF is so tired. Try what in thunderation instead. What in thunder rate? Sound like Yosemite Sam is talking. What in thunderation? Thunderation. I might use that one. How about Great Horned Spoon? I don't even want to hear what that one is.
00:21:09
Speaker
Okay, I'll move on to the next one. You're just going one by one. What does it mean now that you said it? First of all, it's too good to not go by. Say it again. Great horn spoon. Yes, that is good. Great horn spoon. That's fantastic.
00:21:33
Speaker
When I get mad in a fucking, in a car, and I have car rage on y'all. Great horn spoon. You want to know what it's a substitution for? I guess. By God. Is this all about God? No. Not exactly.
00:22:00
Speaker
So instead of saying by God, you can say great horn spoon. Great horn spoon made by great horn spoon.
Height Stereotypes in Dating
00:22:10
Speaker
It seems to have come from seafaring slang and might refer to the Big Dipper.
00:22:18
Speaker
But you don't need to know the origins to find it useful. Today, the strange randomness of the words make it feels mystically satisfying to shout. It doesn't. You say great horn spoon to someone. You better be dressed in like medieval clothing. Or from Texas.
Attractiveness and Beauty Slang
00:22:44
Speaker
It's pretty ridiculous. It's ridiculous. How about snails?
00:22:49
Speaker
snails. That's a good one. Well, instead it's a shortening of by God's nails. The kind of shortening also gave us sounds, God's wounds, Gadzooks, God's hooks,
00:23:19
Speaker
God's truth and odd botikins, God's little body. Little tiny God. Odd botikins. Odd botikins, you little fucking weirdo. You got odd botikins. Who should call that? That's what we call midgets.
00:23:42
Speaker
Um, there's, um, like the Christian website or something. No, this is something you sent me. I just started pulling stuff. I don't read them. How about Rover Cripes? That sounds like, uh, the abortion thing. Rover versus Wade. Yeah.
00:24:12
Speaker
fucking Rover Cripes got overturned. It's another way to say Jesus Christ. Of course, these are all Christ-like. Okay, here's the longest one I've ever heard in my life by Saint Booger and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory. If you said that in a public setting, I would beat you up.
00:24:42
Speaker
Yeah, it's a. It's not even a slang that anyone ever it was in a book in 1759. These lists and I'm trying. I would just yell dead sizzle it and leave. By the double barreled jumping jimitany. All right, don't read these. These are terrible.
00:25:06
Speaker
That was the last one. I expect you to go through them and kind of figure out what works. These are terrible. It was a great horned spoon. It was too good to leave out. All right. I have another list. All right. People, we don't prepare well. I should read these to you. Oh, these are horrible. These are worse. Great.
00:25:38
Speaker
Listen, I don't read them because then how do I react to them? I got to just throw lists of you. Yeah, I got to find one that's good. What's the first one while you're looking? Frasolin, Dagnamit. These are all God terms. Heavens to Betsy. That's when you give it good to Betsy. Jumping Jehoshaphat. I don't know what's that mean.
00:26:05
Speaker
I have to click on it to find out. This page is unavailable. It won't tell me. They won't even tell us. That's how good it is. I apologize for the list. Well, there's more. Well, it doesn't tell you what they are. Well, these are ethnic slurs. Oh, even better. Here we go. Holy shit.
00:26:32
Speaker
They're in alphabetical order. I think there's a Wikipedia one that you can do by ethnicity. Well, this is the Wikipedia one. There's another one. I think this is the, this is the start. It's just a all the way to Z. Yeah. There's another one. Another list from Wikipedia. The same, but it's by ethnicity. She went Alaska, huh? I am. That's cool.
00:27:04
Speaker
All right. What do you call a South African? White. No, you call them jappies or yarvies. A lot of Asians hanging out down there. It's mildly derogative for white Southern African, especially those of.
00:27:28
Speaker
African are descent from the African as term. Plas Japi, meaning far more. All right. All right. OK. Maybe we need to start over. What? It's going bad. How about a limey? A what? Limey. That's an Irish person. It is a Britain. Oh, it's a nickname for a British person.
00:27:58
Speaker
Um, it's because the term originates from the usage of limes by the British Navy to prevent scurvy. So that's why they're called limes. Cause they eat a lot of lime. So what a fun snack a lime would be. Yeah. Guys is like fucking mouth's all fucking crunched up while they're eating. How about a sheep shagger?
00:28:29
Speaker
That is southern America. So Welsh person. Yeah, that makes sense. Because they have a lot of sheep herders over there. OK. So let's look for some good ones. I was actually trying to find like just cuss words that they used to use, but they're very difficult to find. And apparently they're all about God. About a Jerry.
00:28:59
Speaker
Jerry, Italian, German. You got it. Yeah. The British would call him that Jerry's short for Jeremiah, Gerald and other similar sounding names. A kraut. You know what a kraut is. It's not a kraut. Yeah. But what is like? German. Talk about Germans. A Nazi. Americans.
00:29:29
Speaker
Um, how about, um, a Mick Italian Irish. You watch big blinders and you don't know what a Mick is. I don't think they say the word Mick in there. Oh, yeah. It's, uh, it's for Irish. Um, like Mickey Mike and Mikey Mick is a common abbreviation or nickname. Same, same with Patty. It's an Irishman.
00:29:59
Speaker
No. We probably won't be doing an Irishman after this one. How about a Daigo? Daigo's an Italian. Yes. Why did you do that? I've heard that before. Also Ginzo. Italian. Like a Guinea. Yeah, these are all like Goomba. They're in Super Mario, bro.
00:30:28
Speaker
That's a fucking awesome one. Greaseball greaser. Look at this. Look at this fucking goomba. Greaseball a Guido. A Guido. Guido. Guido. Yeah. Guinea. Yep. Someone of Italian descent most likely derived from Guinea Negro implying that Italians are dark or swarthy skinned like the natives of Guinea. A WAP.
00:30:58
Speaker
WAP is good. Is it? It's good. A wog? What's a wog? No, dude, that does seem like it'd be more like a wop. They're like, yeah, we're wops. So what? But if you're like, Hey, you're a wog. They're like, fucking shut your mouth. They're Australians. Oh, that's why they're so mad. They're like, where's it's not even us. Yeah. WAP is definitely, um, if we're Italian, um, that's on here. A wog. An Australian is a wog. A wog.
00:31:29
Speaker
I'd say kangaroo people. Uh, how about a, a China Swede? What is a China Swede? A person of, a person of Finnish descent. No, they got a little fucking tiny. Why are they Irish or Chinese Swedes? I wonder. They're awesome at math. They do karate.
00:31:59
Speaker
How about a gabacho? That's tough because we already passed the Italians, it sounds like. Yeah, it's not Italian. We're out of Italians. Gabacho sounds like some sort of food. Yeah, I actually don't know if it is, but.
00:32:18
Speaker
This is what Chileans would call French people. They'd call them gabbachos. I don't know why, but it's a French person. Goddamn French gabbachos. How about a pollock?
00:32:36
Speaker
Uh, what words for him? That is the word. Oh, Polish. What's a word for a pollock? That's racist for me. That's pretty fucked up. That's pretty racist. Oh, you mean a word for a pollock? Um, well, there's not a ton of them here. Ruski. Okay. That's kind of a cool one.
00:33:04
Speaker
Yeah, that's not a terrible one, right? I don't know. I'm not Russian. How about a cracker? That's all of us. It's European American people, but most particularly from the American South. Does it say why cracker? No. I think because we like to eat saltines. That could be we love soup.
00:33:35
Speaker
Oh, I do know why we're called crackers. Because I assumed you would the crack of the whip. Oh, yeah. They were doing that in the European times over there. That could be any like culture. Well, yeah. Nowadays. Nowadays, if you're white, you could be a cracker, right? Any white person from anywhere. I mean, any any culture in general.
00:34:00
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, everybody had slaves. Every nationality or there's more slavery today than there was during the height of, um, American slavery. Well, sex slavery, just slavery in general. Oh, I did not know that. Where's that at? Everywhere. What kind of, what outcome I've never heard of that. Where is what's going on?
00:34:26
Speaker
Oh, I mean, sweat shops. You can't just spout that stuff and not know anything. Yeah, so you got to try. Now, there's tons of slaves, millions of slaves. Are they slaves or are they just paid poorly? They're slaves. OK, they round them up like we did. Yeah, they round them up. We did. We shipped them. We fucking seven, you know, like we didn't have Amazon shipping back then. Yeah, but we we did stop and then we still made more slaves.
00:34:56
Speaker
Well, at that point you had enough of supply and keep making them. Yeah, that's, that's what they did. Um, they didn't ship them for the whole time. There was slavery. I bet dudes that were shipping them got mad. Man, we were making so much money bringing these dudes over. The crazy thing is they sold them. They sold them to us. They were already slaves. Well, they, they were, uh, conquered.
00:35:26
Speaker
tribes would conquer another tribe and then sell them off. Yeah. Yeah. What a good business back then. Like, oh, this weak tribe over here, let's sell them. What do you think they got in return? Fucking couple beads and a stick. I don't know. I don't know what they got. There's a lot you can start keeping time. Yeah, probably like some sort of goods, food.
00:35:50
Speaker
Right. Food, spices, uh, one gun, which made them easier to fucking dominate more tribes. It's pretty barbaric, isn't it? Like they're like, they gave no fucks back over there in, in Africa. They're just like, yeah, you, uh, uh, we hate you. So we hate you so much that we're going to sell you to these white devils.
00:36:15
Speaker
What a good deal though, right? Like if you don't like a tribe and you're fighting them and they're a problem all the time, they're stealing the three cows you got or whatever. Um, and you're like, man, they're always a problem. Like let's sell them. They're out of here. It worked. I mean, look at Africa. It's booming. It's a booming continent. So there's a lot of countries that do well. Is there any name any?
00:36:45
Speaker
Uh, they're doing well. That aren't third world countries over there. No, I'm not smart enough for that. I don't think there is any, uh, maybe South Africa, but there are, there's some Northern African cities that are doing pretty well. Cities maybe, but not countries. Okay. They're all pretty fucked. Uh, let's see. Good old, okay. Here's, this is all like, uh, Southern, Southern Americans, um, bumpkin.
00:37:15
Speaker
Cracker, good old boy, hick, hillbilly, honky. What's a honky? I don't know. The noise we make, we're like geese. What's a honky though? Uh, I think it comes from some word, like a cunt, like a, I dunno, you have the words, you have it in front of you. I do. It's derived from an African American pronunciation of
00:37:44
Speaker
Hunky, the disparaging term for a Hungarian laborer, the first record of its use as an insulting term for a European American person dates from the fifties in New Zealand. Hunky is used by Maori to refer to New Zealanders of European descent. So it wasn't even a term meant for Americans.
00:38:13
Speaker
Nope. They're calling us Hungarians. Which is the ultimate like that's a terrible cut down. It is. What's a pecker would. I feel like that's slang for like a bird. It's not though. It's a it's a.
00:38:38
Speaker
In the forties, the abbreviated version would entered California prison slang originally meaning an oaky mainly from the San Joaquin Valley. This has caused the symbol of the woodpecker to be used by white power skinheads and other pro European groups. Hmm. Wow. So if you're a pecker, would you white power?
00:39:06
Speaker
Yeah. If you're, if you like, if you have wood woody woodpecker tattooed on your body somewhere, you're probably a racist. Okay. Redneck. We know that trailer. I like that woody woodpecker thrush. Here's a, here's one that you were. Trailer trash. That's legit. Um, white trash. Okay. It's a clean trash. That's a very clean trash.
00:39:38
Speaker
Here's here's Asian ethnicities, Jews. Asian Jews. What's a capo or capo? I like Wikipedia. Anybody can write it like just write Jews to be hilarious. Kike. This might be Jews. That's all Jews. Yeah, that's not Asian. Yid Shylock.
00:40:06
Speaker
Shylock's dope. Um, okay. We're out of the Jews now because I don't want to, I don't want to make, I'm, I'm part Jewish, so I don't want to make fun of. Yeah. What part? Uh, my dick. Is it that cut? Wait, do you cut it if you're a Jew or you don't? Yes. Yes. Jews are circumcised. Hello. Yeah. Oh, okay.
00:40:36
Speaker
Oh, Lebanese person. A lebo, a wog. Oh, they're also wogs. So for Chinese, Koreans, Japanese, and Filipinos, they skipped them all. They just said, uh. Yeah, that's bad enough. They haven't had enough. They don't even want to go there. So. All right. That was, that was a bust.
00:41:00
Speaker
Yeah, it didn't go well. My question is what, what kind of slang would you have for what's like a sneaky slang that we can use? Um, what's a sneaky slang? Like, like you're good at like a, like a ninja, like one that's not, yeah. Okay. Uh, an Asian and an inch has probably offensive. Hey, what's up, Ninja? What about calling like a native American an engine?
00:41:30
Speaker
It sounds like it was called engines. Indian engine. It's not like an engine engine. Yeah, but it sounds like engine. You blur it all together. It's an engine. Yeah. OK. I guess that's weird, though, like. It's a weird all slang is slang. All slang is pretty weird.
00:41:59
Speaker
So what kind of word are you looking for as sneaky? What do you mean by sneaky? I think we talked about one where they used to call Asian people, Charlie. Uh, no, they called, uh, the. Yeah. They called them Charlie. Right. I don't know why. We talked about why, why we thought anyway. What did we come up with? I don't remember. The Kong is VC Victor Charlie. It's a Charlie. Uh, so we changed it to Victor's.
00:42:30
Speaker
That's right. What's up you little Victor? Look at this fucking Victor over here. Um, so you, you want to make a word, uh, for who? For us? Anybody. Yeah. For us it'd be good. Something better than cracker and honky. Those aren't even do something that's going to hurt my feelings. Uh, how about, um, white privilege.
00:42:59
Speaker
Yeah, I don't like that one. That's a good one. When you hear that, that one hurts. Is it because it hurts because it's true? No, it hurts because you're like, I'm poor too, dude. Right. I don't know what my privilege is. I'm living right next to you. Please point out my privilege.
00:43:18
Speaker
The privilege is, uh, it goes all more than just where you live. It's like, um, right. Like you have better shot at getting a job. You're not going to get pulled over by the cops as much. That's not true. You can see, like, you can see them walking. Like if you see someone who's white walking at night, you can see him better than a, than someone who's not white. Maybe, but if you walk through a black neighborhood, that's rough. They're not going to treat you. You're probably going to be profiled a little bit by them.
00:43:49
Speaker
They'll call him them. By them or by the police? Like, what do you mean? By them. But I mean, if a police, they would think you're up to no good walking through there. And then the police. Well, they think you're going to die, probably. If you're poor and you're driving a real shitty car, police are going to fuck with you.
00:44:07
Speaker
More. Yeah. And if you dress like, you know, the piece of shit. Right. Yeah, then you're definitely for sure. But I mean, the white the white privilege goes farther. I don't agree with the white privilege argument, but I can see there was there was for sure. I can see where they think that it's a it's a thing still like it used to be for sure.
00:44:31
Speaker
You think it is, you said? I, I think they think it's still a, uh, an active thing, but I don't believe it is. It may be. I mean, we don't know. We're not in that situation. So it may be, but looking from the outside or inside or wherever the fuck we're at doesn't seem like it. It doesn't, it doesn't feel like it or seem like it, but I'm sure, um, you know, we don't, we don't get picked on for our, uh, the color of our skin.
00:44:59
Speaker
Typically, it depends. I'm not getting picked first at a basketball game. No, but that's because of many reasons. No doubt. Profiling. You're not tall. That's because of profiling. So do you think tall people have tall privilege? Yep. Well, for sure, dude. I mean, even in dating sites, like must be over six one.
00:45:26
Speaker
Why is that? Why are short guys like demonized? I think being a taller dude, it makes you seem more masculine for sure. Does it make a taller woman seem more masculine? Huh? Like a taller woman, like a woman who's six foot taller man. No, but now I'm asking you, if you see a six foot woman, does she seem more masculine?
00:45:52
Speaker
Yeah. You want a midgety woman. You want like a five, four. Midgety woman. You want, that's why they're called shorties. Yeah, exactly. Um, there you go. There's good slang. Let's just talk about slang that exists and explain it. Yeah. Shorties. Uh, that's obviously it's, uh, referring to women because most of them are short. There you go. Uh, taller chicks are kind of intimidating.
00:46:18
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, we're not neither one of us are short. We're on the taller. Well, I think I don't know. I don't remember how tall you are, but I'm not super tall. You know, I'm six foot, so I'm basically right on the. You barely hit the limit. Yeah, I'm at the like. Imagine a six foot four chick coming to you and you're done with the date and she leans down to kiss you. I couldn't handle that, can you? It would be weird. It would be very weird. Like, hey, can you get reach that for me? Thanks.
00:46:47
Speaker
They were walking, you know who Brittany Greiner is, right? Yeah, she's fucked. Yeah, she's the basketball chick. I guess she's a chick in Russia. Anyway, they showed a picture of her because they're taking her to a penal colony.
00:47:09
Speaker
Which means she was going to be doing hard like busting rocks with a sledgehammer. Uh, but they're walking, they're walking her down the hall and all the guards are like, they look like midgets, dude. It's fucking hilarious. She's towering over them. It's fucking like, whoa, that bitch is tall. That'd be awesome. She's over there dunking on them because their rooms are shorter.
00:47:34
Speaker
I was just like, damn. Cause you don't really, I mean, you see him, like you see Shaq on TV, but you don't realize how tall he is unless like he's standing next to a normal person. The time I realized Shaq was enormous is he was on NBA live and he was trying to drink a bottle of water. Look like he's drinking up a pill bottle. He had it in his, like his fingertips. In his fingertips. It was insane. It was like for babies.
00:48:02
Speaker
Do you think he took, like he takes a drink of it and swallows the whole thing and that's a sip for him? It's gone. He doesn't drink it like Trump for sure. Trump drinks water like he's doing shooters. Trump, like he holds it with both hands and he like slowly tips it up, right? That's how Trump drinks water. Right. He holds it like a cock.
00:48:34
Speaker
Is that how you hold your cup? My cup or my cock? You don't ever drink out of a straw, do you? No. Ever. That's molested.
00:48:44
Speaker
So like, it doesn't matter. Like I'm with you partway on this trip. I'll drink. If, if they, if I go to a restaurant and they get a soda or whatever, um, and they throw straws down on the table, I'm like, get this fucking thing out of here. Like.
00:49:03
Speaker
I'm going to drink it like a normal person. Like drink out of a glass. Normal person. Yeah. Sucking sip a drink water and shit with a straw. Water with a straw. Like drinking milk with a straw. Drinking anything like at a table setting with a straw, unless it has a lid on it and it comes with a straw. I'll drink it that way. That's fine. I'm traveling. I don't want to fucking slosh around.
00:49:31
Speaker
but you won't, you'll take the lid off. Yeah. Did you want to Donald? Yeah. Start doing that. You want to see people fucking meltdown. Yeah, it is fucking weird. It would refuse straws, uh, take the lid off, uh, go to like a convenience store and fill up a soda and don't get it. They'll tell you, they'll tell you where the lid is. They're like, they're not, they're not any lids over there. I'm like, no, there are, there are. I'm, I know what I'm doing.
00:49:56
Speaker
Right. I know I'm a weirdo, but just I guess it is weird. It's not as cold. What do you mean? Doesn't seem as cold out of a straw. It is. Doesn't seem that way. What if you get a slushy? Do you just take the lid off? I'm not getting slushies. I'm a dude.
00:50:22
Speaker
Yes, no dude has ever gotten a fucking, what are those things at 7-Eleven called? Slushies. They're not, they're called something else. They used to be called slushies. They're not called slushies. Slurpees. There we go. Which pisses you off, you don't like the name of it so you won't drink it. No, that's what I call girls. Yeah, but I'm just saying, guys drink slurpees, slushies, smoothies.
00:50:50
Speaker
For sure, I'm not saying it's not, I'm just saying like as an adult, man, it's odd, more odd. Right, it's way more odd than not having a straw on anything. I guess, what's funny is like they'll try to hand me a straw through like a fast food or something. They'll hand me the drink and a straw, I'm like, I don't need that. They're like, they don't know what to do. Right, they're like, are you dumb? Usually they ask if you want a straw now. But you have a lid, like I know.
00:51:18
Speaker
I care about the turtles. Have you ever asked if you wanted a straw? No, they hand it out with a drink all the time. Most of the time now you go to places, well, maybe this is California because they don't like to give out straws, A, because it kills turtles, and then B, because they're made of paper. Chris. So they always ask, do you want a straw? And I'm like, well, duh. Maybe that's- And they hand me the straw and I'm like, oh, fuck. Maybe I'm changing the world, bro.
00:51:44
Speaker
You could be, it could be something where you've killed enough turtles that, uh, it's finally, they were starting to recognize. That could be, it's weird, dude. Like they just know, no lid and they're like, the lids are over there. I'm like, yep, I know. I found the cups. You think I can't find the fucking lids.
00:52:03
Speaker
It's bizarre. It bothers me a little bit that you do that, but I mean, I don't know. It's just you have an open cup in your car sloshing liquid around. I drink some of it first. Right. You just start like just chugging it. If I slam on the brakes, I'm in trouble for sure. Sure, you're in trouble. That's the only reason I like straws in those situations. Yeah, I just prefer to drink it that way.
00:52:34
Speaker
How about a coffee? It's not like I've never drank out of a straw. Will you put a lid on a coffee? Well, you don't drink hot coffee, so what am I talking about? No. Jesus Christ. No, lids come off, bro. Lids come off of the iced coffees, huh? Sippy cups. Those sippy cup tops? I like those lids. I like those. Why? I don't know. That's childish. Yeah, I love it. It's like a nipple.
00:53:05
Speaker
Make no sense. It's like a weird shaped nipple, like a, like a nipple from a fucking different. Someone gave you a soda in a baby bottle. You'd be like, you'd suck on that nipple. Maybe it's not a nipple, bro. It's just a fucking thing that flips up. It's like, I like, I'll do that. No, in a baby bottle. I'll drink a fucking, they hand me a baby bottle full of soda. I'm like, I'll slap that in their hand. What the fuck are you talking about? There you go. Like get the fuck out of here. I don't even want a soda now.
00:53:37
Speaker
Uh, um, I have some, uh, old English insults. Okay. I don't like squirt bottle water either. Squirt bottle water. So like you wouldn't, I got, when you're playing like football or whatever and they come and they squirt the water into your mouth, you wouldn't like that. I'd prefer to drink it out of something. Okay. Why is that? Like when me and you box, uh, eventually,
00:54:05
Speaker
rough and rowdy. I can't wait. You're going to have to have the squirt bottle. You're going to, your, your corner is going to be squirting water in your mouth. What are you going to do? Be like, get it, get that fucking squirt thing out of my face. I'll drink it like Donald Trump, dude, both hands on it between my gloves. Like I can do it. If my, if I have a corner that does that and like put it by where your dick is, let's make this look hilarious.
00:54:31
Speaker
Like, like zip it into your pants, you know, your pants and squeeze it into my mouth. Dad says, like, I'll lay down and you just fucking help me. Yeah. Get it on my chest. Dad sizzle. Okay. How did we get on this? How did we get on straws? You're a very, you're an enigma, my friend. I guess we were all over the place on that. Um,
00:55:02
Speaker
All right. We have a few more minutes. We're going to be, uh, in the next, in the Patreon, the, the Patty, uh, we're going to be talking about, um, Dying a lot of death. Fun times. It'll go just as good as the rest of this show. It'll be better because, uh, TK's, uh, all the ways he would kill me, probably true.
00:55:30
Speaker
Unusual deaths. I do want to find out like the ways you do want to die and don't want to die. Oh, that's easy. Save it. Okay.
00:55:42
Speaker
Let's hear these fucking old timey whatever you said they were. Yeah, because these aren't going to make it over to the paddy because these are stupid. So these are old timey insults, old English insults. I just want to see if we can use any of them. Yeah, so far. Dad sizzle incorrectly. That's not a that's not an insult, really. It's just a cuss word. Well, we're going to use it incorrectly, but I'm going to use it for sure. A bed swerver.
00:56:12
Speaker
That's pretty dope. That's like a fucking somebody that bangs different people. Yeah, an adulterer. Yeah, this fucking bed swerver over here. I'll use that. That's an old timey one. They're using the word swerve back then. Bro, you got swerved. Cumberworld. What is that?
00:56:37
Speaker
It is someone who is so useless that they just serve to take up space. Say what is it again? Cumberworld. You are my Cumberworld.
00:56:52
Speaker
I knew you were going to say that. Comper World, excellent. Actually, it'd be bad. Comper World, terrible. You're worthless in a waste of space. Dew beater. D-E-W. Dew beater. That sounds like a racist term for a white dude that hates blacks. It's like a white dude who plays a lot of video games, drinks a lot of Mountain Dew and beats off a lot.
00:57:21
Speaker
Oh, I was thinking just a white nationalist or white supremacist that beats up blacks. It's an 18th century word for a especially large shoe and consequently a clumsy or awkward person. Oh, fuck. You're my combo world and my doo beater. Oh, am I awkward and clumsy? Hmm. I'm probably more of a doo beater than you are. How about a Driggle Draggle?
00:57:50
Speaker
Oh, what? Driggle, draggle. Let's fucking Driggle, Draggle. Use it in the sentence. Um, find out what it is and use it in the sentence. I want to see if I can make it easy. Um, I went over, I went over to Sally's apartment and holy shit. The place looked like a Driggle, Draggle trap house.
00:58:19
Speaker
It's an untidy person. No, untidy place or person? Person, woman. It's untidy woman. Oh, dude, I'll use that one. The hottest chicks have the most fucked up cars. They're all Driggle Draggles, dude. That's true. A Driggle Draggle is like a tiny penis drag person, transsexual. A tiny drag.
00:58:49
Speaker
Uh, what were you gonna say? Oh, uh, yeah. Um, a lot of chicks are messier than guys. The hottest ones are not always the hottest, but yes, something. Yeah. Usually they're super hot. Their shit's fucked. They don't know. Like I don't have to do anything else. This is it. Just being hot is my thing. Yeah. I mean, that's the hot privilege, I guess.
00:59:12
Speaker
hot privilege. That's a privilege that we need to start fighting back on. Yeah, because attractive people do better in the world, in life than unattractive people. That is a fact. Maybe we shouldn't fight that. Why? Because we're attractive. Let's be advocates for attractive people privileges.
00:59:41
Speaker
Yeah, we can. I mean, I don't really need against it. Oh, let's be against attractive privilege. Yep. Like that's our that's our me to. Yep. No, we can start. We started hot people hot. Yeah, we can go to the clubs and just have signs and don't buy these bitches drinks, these fucking draggles, let the uglies in, get to get rid of the what would we call them? What would be the slang for attractive person?
01:00:11
Speaker
Trickle draggles. Uh, how about a gilly wet foot? That's what you're going to call them. I mean, that's, uh, Oh, it's another term. It's another term. A gilly wet foot shingles when he steps in a puddle. I mean, that's technically true, but it's for a swindling businessman or someone who gets into debt and then fleas.
01:00:41
Speaker
I might become a Gilly wet foot. Does it run from all these credit card people? Oh, there's a lot of the Gilly wet foots terrible. Yeah, it's not good. Look at like interesting words. We'll figure out what the terms are. All right. Lubberwort.
01:01:04
Speaker
It sounds like a fat disease. I got lubberworts. It does sound like blubberwort. Yeah, I got lubberworts, dude. Probably to get all this dad sizzle on my thighs. It was the name of an imaginary plant that was supposed to cause sluggishness or stupidity and ultimately came to be used as a nickname for lethargic, fuzzy-minded people.
01:01:32
Speaker
So people that smoke weed are Leberworts? Yeah. Well, I knew I was a Leberwort dude. All right, here's a... How about... Reuter banks. That is like a bank that only takes money from people that lift.
01:02:03
Speaker
It's a very, like, aggressive banking. Like, it's my fucking turn. It's someone who lives beyond their means or seems to spend extravagantly. Reuterbank. I'm a Reuterbank, dude. I'm a lubberwort water bank. I can't even say them all. I'm a lubberwort Reuterbank. Say that one fast. Lubberwort Reuterbank? Lubberwort Waterbank? It's tough. It is tough. Yeah.
01:02:33
Speaker
Um, how about a, uh, a smell, a smell feast. You're a smell feast, TK. A smell feast. A feast of smell. Yeah. I stink. No, it's actually nothing to do with odor at all. That's crazy. Like a smell feast. Like I take my pants off after like sweating all day. Like get ready for a smell feast. Might take my pants and shoes off.
01:03:01
Speaker
I feel like women would say that more. Pulling their pants off. It's someone who turns up uninvited to a meal or party and expects to be fed. That's lame. That is lame. Look at this fucking smell feast over here trying to eat. Homeless people are smell feasts. That makes sense. How about a stamp crab?
01:03:33
Speaker
You stomp on pussies. The heavy footed. Oh, no, no, no. A stamp crab is like a fucking person that works at a male. They work for the male services and they like fucking all bitchy when they try to get stamps. She has to be a female. Yeah, this fucking nail. They don't even know what it is. Crabs, stamp crab.
01:04:01
Speaker
Bitch is being a fucking stamp crab. Couldn't get none. I tried to give her fucking 12 bucks for a book of stamps. She's stank eyed me, but she's a real smell feast too. And she likes to wiffle waffle all the time. What is that? An indecisive time wasting a ditherer. I don't know what a ditherer is. I don't either.
01:04:31
Speaker
With a waffle. And that's it. I like, I like a stamp crab. I'll use that differently. Smell feast. I'll use that differently. What was the first one that we did? I don't know. Way up at the top. You're the one reading the list. It was a bed swerver. That was good, right? Bed swerver was dope. Cumber world. I'll actually use bed swerver as a real term. A dew beater.
01:05:01
Speaker
Do beat her, be used differently. And then we got the Driggle Draggle. The Driggle Draggle, I'll use that one. But only for hot chicks that are messy. Okay. Chicks are Driggle Draggles. Hey, baby. You know, you look like a Driggle Draggle. She'd be like... Not like that. You know, you're telling your friends like, fuck man, she's a real Driggle Draggle. Like, oh, she's fucking hot. Yeah. She'd be like, what? Are you an idiot? What does that mean? Bro, I'll get that to catch on.
01:05:32
Speaker
Friends will start using that. You know how we use a lot of words because like dope or sick and that shit like isn't like that doesn't fly today. It doesn't. I don't think so. Dope. I don't know. It says dope. No, it doesn't fly as in it's stupid. No one likes it, but I mean, it doesn't. It's not. People are against it. Yeah, it's like rad. Who says rad?
01:06:00
Speaker
be dope. We came up with a new one, remember? I told it to you. I don't remember. It was puke. Oh yeah, puke. No, there's another one. What was the other one? Ria.
01:06:15
Speaker
Oh, that's it. We came up with the real episode. We're going to come up with new terms. Yeah. Ria. That's, that's absolute. That's fucking, do you want to add that? We'll just make, make it seem like it's the old one. Can you hear me? Of course I can hear you. I hit my, hit my cord. We'll explain what Ria is. Ria is, um, okay. It's like,
01:06:42
Speaker
It's like it's the shit, like that's the shit. Right. But instead of saying that's the shit, that's the Rhea, which is short for diarrhea. Yeah. You're the fucking Rhea, bro. Yeah. You're the king. You're the shit. I'm the Rhea. Does it matter that it's runny shit? I don't think it matters. I don't think it matters. If you call somebody the Rhea, they're cool.
01:07:07
Speaker
All right. All right. Then that's where we're going to end this. You're the real. You're the fucking real dude. And all you reas out there. You just call them the shits. Yeah. Ride the ball. Ride the ball. Listen to our Patreon. Touch yourself while listening.