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NTK310 - Sex, Bugs and Fetish Goals
57 Plays2 years ago
Noodles and TK talk about fetishes and put them head to head to find out what their chosen kink is out a list of odd ones.
Its an interesting bracket. Tune in and listen to these weirdos work thru their sexual demons.
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Transcript
Introduction and Halloween Vibes
00:00:02
Speaker
You're listening to the CheapShots Podcast Network.
00:00:31
Speaker
Make spooky noises.
00:01:06
Speaker
Make it stop. It's that time of year. Your bank account is overdrafted. Happy Halloween.
Rocky Horror and Halloween Movies
00:01:21
Speaker
Happy Halloween. You already like made me not want to do this. Good start.
00:01:25
Speaker
I love it. That's that was my goal. I was the worst. What can I do to start to make it so we stop? Right. A minute and a half. We should do it. Let's just ride the bull. So. It's that time I have to set up a time this weekend to where the family can watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Why?
00:01:53
Speaker
It's tradition. You force them to watch it every year. Yeah. I don't force that Halloween movie. Why is that a Halloween movie? Because it's because the dude dresses like a chick. Yeah, they're all dressed up. OK, it's it's awesome. What do you consider like Halloween? Like, do you watch any Halloween movies like Nightmare on Elm Street coming up to Halloween?
00:02:20
Speaker
So it has to be Nightmare on Elm Street. That's not technically during Halloween. More so than yours. Those movies don't take place during Halloween. Does that take place during Halloween? No, that's why I'm saying that's okay. Oh, because it has to be on Halloween for it to be a Halloween movie? No, absolutely not. Okay. So this is Halloween. You gonna watch that and then The Great Pumpkin as well? I don't watch The Great Pumpkin ever. It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.
00:02:46
Speaker
Um, I watched that more. I'll watch that over, uh, what's the, uh, the clay nation, the clay nation one, the Christmas one. Yeah. The, the Christmas one's dope. The dude wants to be a dentist. That one's fucking dope. He wants to be a dentist. The elf. No, no, no. The, the Halloween Christmas, the Jack. I don't, I don't even know what the fuck it's Tim Burton movie. Gotcha.
00:03:16
Speaker
I can't even remember the fucking name of the movie. I haven't seen it. So nightmare before Christmas. There we go.
Halloween Costumes and Pet Stories
00:03:26
Speaker
There you go. Yeah. Yes. That one is ridiculous, but a cross-dressing dude singing the whole time is perfect for Halloween. It's awesome. Halloween's way different. Mine are scary. Yours are sexually confused.
00:03:41
Speaker
First of all, yours aren't scary. If you're watching Freddy Krueger movies, those aren't scary. Those are awesome. Those are hilarious. Yeah. Jason movies, Freddy movies. I think the Jason movies are a little more scary than the Freddy movies, maybe. For sure. One of the roommates actually went out and is going out as a hoary Freddy Krueger. So, uh,
00:04:07
Speaker
Freddy Krueger as a slut. Yeah. Try to burn her. She wouldn't let me slutty Krueger slutty Krueger. That's awesome. Uh, like I was like, uh, Freddy Krueger doesn't wear a half shirt and a skirt and horrible. Is there going to be underwear involved with this outfit? I think there was spanks. I'm like, you're going to get your finger blasted when you go out.
00:04:33
Speaker
You're going to get finger gun, dude. I'm all like the right to bear arms, but you're going to get two barrels in the fucking shoot. That's awesome. What are you going to be? A grumpy old man, not handing out candy. So you're not even going to hand out candy this year? No, the dog goes ballistic. Put the dog down in the basement. You want me to put the dog down? Put the dog down. You're going to have to eventually. You know that. Yeah, I've done it before.
00:05:03
Speaker
Okay. As long as you're prepared for it. You can Uber that now. You just say, come pick my dog up and take him to death. Take him to the woods. Let him, let him wander and die. That's what happened to our old dog, Smokey. He just ran, like he got old and, uh, he decided to die. So he ran away. He's like, I don't want to, I don't want to have them deal with my death. That wasn't it. He's like, I could get the fuck out of here before I die. Oh, I didn't make it.
00:05:31
Speaker
He was a good dog. German Shepherd. I had a dog named Smokey. He died too. Did he? In a fire? No, he died. You named Smokey posthumously? That'd be awesome. That's how I killed him. Like we named you Smokey on purpose because we knew how you were going to die. And I trapped him in a room and I just lit something on fire. So he just died from smoke inhalation.
00:05:56
Speaker
What was what what kind of dog was your smoky a lab? Oh nice. Okay. He didn't last long. Oh shit. Why? Some sort of parasite or something. I mean that sucks. I'm sorry. He didn't run away. No, he didn't let him.
00:06:21
Speaker
He couldn't. He was dying of parasites. Ridden body. All you do is give him a second. Happy Halloween, everyone. Dead dogs. Worm medicine. He died of ringworm. Probably. You're a good dog owner.
Musicals, Cross-Dressing, and Transgender Athletes
00:06:37
Speaker
Yep. I was a fucking child. Oh, I thought you said it was your dog. It was my dog. It was our dog. Excuse me. Your dad's dog. My dad didn't. He was like, I live here, but that's it.
00:06:54
Speaker
Speaking of, we got to get your dad back on. We tried three times to get him to get him on here. Each time something fucks up like it's the universe telling us, like, don't do it. For sure. I'm surprised this one didn't stop already. We we got to get him on here so he can live forever in the Internet. First of all, why would this one stop? Play that song again. Oh, God, don't tempt me. You're gay, dude. You're gay.
00:07:24
Speaker
I like, I like what I like, man. Doesn't mean I'm gay. Why are you gay? You hate musicals, but there's a musical that's your favorite show all the time. That's one of the only musicals I like. I like two musicals. You only like one, two musicals and one of them is Grease. Yes. And the other one is about a cross-dressing man. A cross-dressing, uh, alien. No, that made it cooler. Yeah. They're, they're not from this earth. If you would have watched the movie all the way through, you would have known.
00:07:52
Speaker
I watched it all and it was the worst thing I've ever seen. But I'm glad I, good luck to your children. They're, they're well grounded. They're usually ground. They're usually always grounded. They feel like they're grounded. They have to watch that bullshit. It's good for, it's good for my 10 year old.
00:08:20
Speaker
Most. Yeah. Continuals need to watch across dressing alien. Yeah, especially nowadays. It's we get it. It's like it's almost like they should be watching that in school. Like they probably do. Here's the here's our world today. This is telling the future. And it came true. That transsexuals are aliens. That. Well, kind of. You heard it here first, folks. Kind of. Yeah, I kind of agree with that.
00:08:48
Speaker
They're definitely not humans. I have a new take on on transgenders. I kind of told you about it a little bit. Yes, it's very fantastic. It is good. Let's hear it. I'm all for it. I think that if
00:09:11
Speaker
If we want to show, if anyone's gonna do something the best, it's always gonna be a man that's doing it. So if it takes a man to show a woman how to be a woman, then I'm all for that. Fuck it. Let's face it, if anyone can be the best woman, it's gonna be a dude.
00:09:37
Speaker
You should try it. You should take a dude that is a woman now and have sex and see if they're better. I'm not talking about sex. Put your money where your mouth is. I'm talking about everything, like sports, for instance. Fuck it. Women think they're good at sports. We'll
Humorous Speculations on Pain and Marriage Benefits
00:09:54
Speaker
show you that you're not. We'll come and play your sports and fuck you up. And that's what we're doing. It's awesome. It is pretty good.
00:10:04
Speaker
Yeah, so that's my new take. My new take is I'm all for men competing in women's sports as women. Fuck it. Like no holds barred. The gloves are off. I want to have I want to get pregnant just so they can take that away from them. Right. Like I was like, you can't even handle pain. Like, dude, I've seen guys break their arm and keep working.
00:10:29
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I've seen a dude, Uriah Faber in UFC broke both of his arms and he continued fighting. He lost. He just punched with his shoulders. He's like using his elbows and shit. He's like, fuck, I got a broken, I got broken arms. Fuck it. Who cares? I'll just keep fighting.
00:10:52
Speaker
Right. Have you ever seen a girl just like stub her toe or do anything and they just like pass out with pain? Yeah, they collapse and it's over. Right. They're crying and stuff. But like they like you could even handle childbirth. Like, I don't know. You do it. I could probably walk through that. I'm going to work the same day. Yeah, I can probably work as it's coming out of my fucking ass. Right. Well, you have an ass baby. Well, I mean, we don't have I guess you got to have I guess you can have. Yeah.
00:11:22
Speaker
Okay. But I want to do that just to take it away because we can't, that's the only thing they can say because we can't do it and we can't show that we can handle it just as easily. That's true. Um, I will tell you one thing. They might have us on being sick. I'm pretty, I'm pretty big pussy when I'm sick. Um, I'd say that, but I also worked for a pneumonia. So I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. You almost died and came back. So like, um, let's see a woman do that.
00:11:52
Speaker
I'm sure the answer somehow. I'm just saying transgenderism. I'm all for it. Let's go. All right. You heard the song you played. He forces his kids to watch it and he loves it. So he'll be dressing like a woman soon. All men all the time. Gross. Like straight. We talked about this in an episode, like a new trend, which you've already heard of. So you've already kind of like been thinking about it.
00:12:21
Speaker
men straight men marrying each other just so they can have cool shit yep yeah that's just a roommate that's just a legal roommate it's illegal it's a legally binding like half and half roommate half and half roommate would be a transgender you don't you don't have to worry about them like uh
00:12:46
Speaker
Cheating on you because I mean, you guys are fucking bitches anyway. So who
Searching for Podcast Content and Fetish Games
00:12:51
Speaker
cares? Like you're bringing your tag team and bitches like it'd be perfect. Yeah, it'd be a perfect scenario. Be a fucking dirty house. Yeah. But then you have enough money you can hire a maid. Which we could fuck. It's a win-win. I have a
00:13:15
Speaker
Uh, we have a, um, a game to play here. Okay. It's a, uh, Oh, uh, what would you call it? We didn't even name it a struggle for content. Well, that's every week. Yeah, it is. Uh, we need to start having sound effects. Like it's a fucking.
00:13:43
Speaker
fetish off. Yeah, a sexual fetish. Bracket tosses versus brackets. Yeah, brackets. We're going to go through these and see which one you'd rather choose and see what the what our number one fetish is. All right, let's start to go through the list. You didn't have the list. I got to read all these.
00:14:07
Speaker
Yeah, I mean we don't have to read them all. We'll just go, what's the first battle here? For mycophilia versus zoophilia. All right, so for mycophilia, and so are we grading this? Do we have to both agree? How do we decide which one wins? We have to sell it to each other. We have to agree on which one's going next. All right. We might not like either one of these, but one has to win. All right, zoophilia, you're up.
00:14:40
Speaker
That one's pretty self-explanatory. It's sex with animals. And I mean, that's been around for, I mean, forever. That's how centaurs are made. The Afghans fuck sheep. I mean, that's a known thing. They still do that to this day. Yeah. You got video of that? There's a lot of sheep herders. No, I just know a lot of people in the military that have seen it. Okay.
00:15:03
Speaker
I don't like to see this list. There's a very famous one where a woman would give a dolphin. She was trying to teach it communication. To love? No, communication between man and human. They were trying to get dolphins to communicate with humans. And she would jack the dolphin off every day as a reward. Shit. I need to work on communication.
00:15:32
Speaker
And they found out and shut it down. Um, so I don't know if that's a zoophilia really, because you're jerking off a dolphin. You're jerking off a dolphin, but I mean, you're not getting fucked by a dolphin. Does a dolphin have a outside? I mean, hand jobs count as zoophilia. You're giving a dolphin in old fashioned. I mean, that's, come on. Well, that's kind of a new fashion. If you're giving it to a dolphin, that's some new school shit. Do you think they like put their finger in their blowhole while they're rubbing their dicks? Are there dicks on the outside?
00:16:01
Speaker
Um, I would imagine I don't think they're on the inside. How the fuck would that work? That'd be pretty cool to see a dolphin with his dong just flopping in the water. I've never seen a dolphin jump out of the water and his nuts and dick hanged out. Where else would it be? I don't know. I'll tell you what though, that lady's got some good hands and she can jerk off a dolphin. Dolphin's like, that's what I like. That's what I like. That's exactly, that's dolphin style. Yeah. Yeah. I mean that lucky dolphin, right?
00:16:30
Speaker
It's a lucky dolphin. So that's a pretty rough one. I mean, we've all seen we've all seen horses. Fuck. Yeah, horses are pretty interesting. Yeah. Donkey shows. The only reason I would say compared to the other one, you didn't tell us that what each of these are, but I don't know what the other one is. Yes, I don't. I'm not telling you what the other one is until we finish this one. OK, we're going through each one.
00:17:02
Speaker
I think you should just give us the two what they are and then I'll choose which one I like better. Okay. I can do that. You're going to make all these horny to me? Formicophilia involves arousal with small insects.
00:17:25
Speaker
So insects, spiders, creatures crawling all over the body, especially in the genitalia area. Biting and stinging in the process. So if you if it's a bees for you, there's going to be a lot of stinging. There could be a lot of biting red ants, things like that. Yeah, I don't. So for me, I'm probably going to choose a video on this. I could see a chicken or titties licked or maybe give a hand job over just spiders crawling on a pussy.
00:17:55
Speaker
Well, there's cockroaches, snails, bees. I know all the bugs are the typical sources that we have here. There's no dicks on a bug. So I can, can give an old fashioned to a bug. No, you're not, you're not. So this is the arousal of the woman. I want zoophilia for sure. But okay. I'm going to take, I'm going to take, which one do I want to watch? I want to watch the zoophilia one more than the bug one.
00:18:23
Speaker
I'm definitely picking Formicophilia, the bug one. That would turn you on more? Well, I've never seen it. I'd have to. I want to see it. I've seen all the other shit from from fucking animals. I mean, I haven't seen every every animal fucker. So you want to just see a lady just covered in bugs. That looks like a fucking saw movie. Screaming covered in bugs, screaming. That would be fucking awesome.
00:18:51
Speaker
Especially bees, like bees are stinging her pussy and crawling up in there, stinging the insides of her. That sounds terrible. Yeah. For her. Yeah. But at least I mean, you're going to get the, we gotta get some sort of pleasure out of this. I'd get pleasure. Okay. Well, this is a tough one then. Cause we're split. Um, like wouldn't you want to see like, um,
00:19:18
Speaker
Like a grasshopper or orgasming like in a in a pile of cockroaches. No, it'd be disgusting. Of course it's disgusting. That'd be like being in a trap house. It's not. I mean, animal animal sex is not disgusting, obviously. It's better than bugs. At least there's a dick involved or something. Absolutely vile. Agreed. I see a chick get her titties licked. I can handle that.
00:19:44
Speaker
Like what? I see a chick get her titties licked or something like that. But like bugs, I don't understand any of it. No, that's what's awesome about it. I get such a small niche category. Well, choose yours just because you're so much like you have a lot more enthusiasm. I'm very willing to jump over to the animal fucking. Very willing.
00:20:09
Speaker
I just, I'm telling you, like for me personally, it's the bugs just cause I've never seen it. Now, I think for the vast majority of the population, they'd rather see a chick get fucked by a donkey. So there's nothing sexual in either one of those for you that would be more likely to be like, that's erotic. No, no. They're equal to you. They're both absolutely vile. They're equal to you. They're equal to me. Yes.
00:20:38
Speaker
OK, we'll choose the bug one. We'll see if it goes beats the next one. But when it moves on, wow, I'm so shocked. I'm not going to battle that long. This is a long list. It's not that long. What do we got next?
Macrophilia vs. Emitophilia Debate
00:20:54
Speaker
Amido Amidophilia and Macrophilia. All right, so Macrophilia.
00:21:02
Speaker
is the attraction to giants or giantess. So male giants or female giants, which I don't understand what that means, like just people that are really tall.
00:21:11
Speaker
No, like actual giants. I saw I've seen this before and it's insane. Like the dudes are like bite size compared to the women, like they're picking them up and they're like it's it's like a green screen situation where like they're literal giants and they're like going into them and shit and going inside of the chick. It's insane. It's the most insane thing I've ever seen, but I've seen it.
00:21:33
Speaker
So it says being squished against a giant's breast, being crushed by a giant, being dominated by a giant, or being physically harmed by a giant. That person is probably molested. Um, it says here, uh, macrophilies may be attracted to people that are just a few feet taller than them. Okay. It's more about imagination, like you said.
00:22:03
Speaker
then all girls have macrophilia. So virtual reality, it's like you said, it's the green screen thing. It's imagination. It's like crawling up inside a pussy and walking around in it. Right. But if it's a couple of feet, then all women have macrophilia. Not if you're French, but yes. I don't know what that means. French people are just tiny. Okay. Asians, they're not though.
00:22:31
Speaker
I don't know. Yeah. I mean, it was very French is a weird choice. Oh, yeah. French people, you know, that goes back to what I think. When I think of the smallest people, I think French. You should. All right. So Jack and the Beanstalk was a erotic novel, apparently. Yes. So and homosexual as well. Well, obviously.
00:22:57
Speaker
The beanstalk was super huge, too. It's probably good. It feels good on him when he's crawling up it. He's crawling up that beanstalk and the Giants like waking up like, what is this V5 over? Um, I don't think I would like to be like, you could probably, this would be partial for microphilia as well. You'd be a bug on their titty. Um, a micro, no, I think it's giant. It's not micro.
00:23:25
Speaker
No, macrophilia, but for microphilia is insects. So it kind of like that's you probably love this one. I mean, I. I don't I don't see the the attraction to. Well, I don't see the attraction to bugs or animals, but this is a weird one just because. I don't know why why giant like tits mostly dudes, it's mostly dudes being tiny and the chick being huge, probably just to be dominated.
00:23:55
Speaker
Right. But like, what do you, you can't please this, this giant is chick. Like you crawl a purpose. Excuse me. Like, Oh no, there's an insect in there. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe you're holding the weapon. Just a big, just a big saber or some sort, a dildo sword. Well, let's compare it to, uh, Emitophilia. Yeah. What's that? It is the attraction to vomit. Okay. The giant wins.
00:24:24
Speaker
You're either attracted to your own vomit or someone else's turned on by watching and listening to the vomit or doing the vomiting yourself. There's only been one major scientific investigation into erotic vomiting in 1982.
00:24:40
Speaker
Um, so it's not grant money. This isn't a real thing. So there's not a lot of, there's not a lot of research in this. Um, but it's people who are into submission, humiliation typically are into this. So I would say.
00:24:56
Speaker
I agree with you, the giant, the giant, the wins, the vomiting one that's hot. The only part of that that's hot is like making a jig gag on your cock. I like that. Yeah, but not to vomit on you. I'd prefer that doesn't happen, but kind of sloppy for sure. So maybe there's that and then guys probably get turned on with chicks vomiting because they're like, they're going to pass out soon. What?
00:25:25
Speaker
So they can take advantage of them. Oh, I got you. So we're choosing stories. When I worked at Walmart years ago, really quick story. I don't care. Oh, well, I'm just I just want to let you know that he.
00:25:42
Speaker
He was in college in Cancun for spring break. He met up with a chick. They got wasted. They went to his place. She was riding him. It was all was going well until she like suddenly jumped up off his cock, ran to the bathroom, got on all fours and started puking in the toilet. He sat there in bed like, fuck, this blows. This sucks. What the fuck am I going to do? So he kind of looked over and she's like,
00:26:11
Speaker
completely naked just puking and he's like, ah, fuck it. Why not? So he just rides up, you know, behind her, he rode up like a horse and he starts fucking her while she's puking in the toilet. That's an urban legend. He's a liar. Why do you say that? Because that's everybody has a friend that has that story. But maybe it's happened to everyone. I don't know.
00:26:38
Speaker
Well, the dudes are just like, it was an awesome story. You bang them out. That's a good story. Banging a chicken with her face in the toilet. Yeah. Um, she was pissed. She left right afterwards. That was his old story. Pretty much. I'm going to talk to this guy. I'm a calm lie to his face.
00:27:02
Speaker
OK. All right. I mean, I get it. You don't want to get fucked over because couldn't hold their liquor. That's their fault. Yeah. So in a case like that, vomiting is awesome. But in the case of liking vomit and wanting to listen, getting turned on by the sound of it, the smell of it, the fuck that. It'd be pretty tough to keep it hard while she's like, and it stinks in there. But I bet it feels awesome.
00:27:30
Speaker
Right. The, the, uh, the clenching of the muscles has to be like, it has to be amazing. I wouldn't last long. I wouldn't last long. Come on the back of her head. What is she going to do? She's busy. Yeah. She's, you know, she's not, I mean, maybe she'll come in vomit at the same time. That'd be dope. That could be. Do you, so as you're changing your answer, are you going to the giants? Yeah. Uh, macrophilia, it is that we both.
00:28:02
Speaker
I just, we had to watch one, dude. Uh, bacrophilia. Yeah. I mean, I, sure that that's not disgusting and vile to me. Like, like the bug. I can't send you the bug one or the zoo one to think they're illegal. I'm not going to search those. The bug one might not be. Oh, you can, you can molest a bug all you wish. Yeah, we can eat. Like they're gonna, we're going to be eating bugs here pretty soon for our, like,
00:28:31
Speaker
The world is going to be eating bugs, getting rid of meat. Half the world already does. So fuck it. I mean, as far as that's food play at that point. Okay. Uh, Vararephilia, Varare, Varare. What's that? So, uh, Vararephilia
Cannibalism and Necrophilia Discussions
00:28:54
Speaker
is, uh, shortened to vore.
00:28:59
Speaker
And it's eating someone or watching someone being eaten, chewed, or swallowed whole. Damn. Somebody's done that. All right. And then that's versus necrophilia. So varia filia, this is this cannibalism influenced sexual interest involves getting eaten alive, usually being consumed whole, uh, and live by a much larger person or creature.
00:29:29
Speaker
Uh, predator prey scenario, themes of dominance and submission. What does the whole mean? They just swallow you like a whale would. Yeah. Like, uh, you know, eat, eaten. Not just piece by piece, although some that could be it, like getting eaten by a, of a werewolf or a pack of wolves or something. My werewolf would be pretty cool.
00:29:57
Speaker
They watch it, usually these people watch it through simulated live action or animated vore porn. And it's increasingly popular with the adult sub genre. So it's gaining popularity, people just being eaten alive. Okay. Now I don't know how that just people being eaten alive or eating people would be good. Do you start at the pussy? Is that how it works?
00:30:22
Speaker
I would think so. But eating whole, I would think would be just like swallowing them and they're like writing. How does someone eat some whole? How does that happen? You don't. Obviously, these people aren't experiencing this. They're fantasizing about it. And so they make porn themed this way. So they just unhinge their jaw and choke them down like a snake. I would imagine it's like monsters and aliens and things.
00:30:51
Speaker
OK, and the other one's necrophilia, necrophilia. I don't even need to read what it says. It's having sex with dead people. I like that you don't read any extra stuff on that one. I will. No, I didn't want you to read so much in the last one of Ferrari. I don't. Man, those are both fucking terrible choices. So I understand the sexual side of the eating people, though.
00:31:22
Speaker
Well, all right. So what happened here? No, I'm not saying like you have to read it again. I mean, I don't understand. Like, that makes me hard. Yeah. So. And I don't think it or or if you're a woman, like you get wet thinking about it. So that that would be you imagine having that like, man, I just love thinking about people getting eaten. That would suck.
00:31:52
Speaker
What's weird is it's becoming more and more popular. So it's like they're actually making a lot of animated porn featuring this where they're probably fucking the chick and then at some point they just start eating them. I have no fucking clue. It's because tribes are starting to get internet, cannibal tribes.
00:32:23
Speaker
It makes no sense to me. I can't even imagine how someone could be aroused in any way with bugs or with getting eaten alive. But someone's rubbing their dick to the thought of like, that's good eating. People are fucked up. I mean, you go down that rabbit hole. I mean, you're probably close to that as far as, you know, being able to get off it. Yeah, I had to find some weird shit, but these are not good.
00:32:52
Speaker
The macro one would make me laugh. Right. You wouldn't get. Yeah, it's hard to get off on that because you're not seeing anything like. Sexual, really, you're just like walking in a chick's butt hole. I don't know. That's like a comedy at that point. It's not even a porn. A Ferrari feel your necrophilia. Fuck. I want to go necrophilia because I want to see someone dig someone up, throw it around.
00:33:19
Speaker
Now is this so is necrophilia only for guys like guys fucking a dead body? Could it be chicks get off on this? Rigor mortis baby. You got fucking rigor mortis is like Rick and Morty. Uh, rigor mortis is like, you can be hard probably for awhile. Right. So do you think that there's any women that like want to fuck a dead dude?
00:33:41
Speaker
I don't, I don't think as many people want to do any of these things. Oh, there's a lot of people that love fucking dead bodies. Like morticians. Well, morticians and then probably grave robbers. I don't know. How long do you start like, uh, you're like, you're working as a mortician, like normal dude. How long did you start like grabbing a titty or something like that because you're starting to get comfortable? Probably pretty quickly. A year, six months.
00:34:10
Speaker
I would say three days. Three days? Yeah. You're just like, whoop, little dip, little finger in there. Yeah. Would you like, so here's how it starts, right? Like the, the, the, are they called morticians? Yeah, I believe so. Um, okay. I feel like it's an old term. I feel like it's been updated, but I don't know what the fucking term is. So I feel like that, um,
00:34:39
Speaker
You know, I'm an old timey guy, dude. I can't take my shirt off. I have fucking leather pants on when I fight and I have my arms like my fists up, like put them up like a gentleman for a mustache is curly. You must go see the mortician. I feel like a hot supermodel comes in who got shot in the back of the head. So the body is laying there. It's in mint. How about just in the back?
00:35:08
Speaker
Mint condition. What do you mean? How about just in the back? Back of the head. I mean, you're going to have a blown out the front. No, no, no. No, she got bludgeoned in the back of the head. OK. That's good because she'll lay real still because her head's flat in the back.
00:35:23
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, she's, her head's not going to wall around. So you, and then, um, you know, he's, he's about to cut into it and then he sees those perky little nipples, you know, B cup, B cup breasts. Um, he touches the nipple and he's like, Oh, you chose these shoes and bees. It feels good. And then he, he, he bends down and he kind of just flicks his tongue on the nipple just a little bit.
00:35:50
Speaker
And he's like, Ooh. So then he starts sucking on the nipple. It'd be weird that it's cold. Yeah, it's cold. And he's like, Oh, you went with bees. I mean, I probably wouldn't break my code of not touching the titty until it was too large to hold back. No, but she's, you know, a bee cup is pretty average, I think. Yeah. I don't want to average titties. I'm not going to fuck her dead bodies. Perfect. Bee cups. Right. She's 22. Um, maybe see bees or come on, man.
00:36:19
Speaker
OK, see up and the ups, what are you a child? Pencil eraser nipples, right? And and he he starts, you know, he just flicks it with his tongue and he's like, oh, and then he's like, oh, you know, you cold? Is that why your nipples are hard? And then he just starts sucking on the nipples like. Like, is that weird? The way you're talking about it is I think I know which one you're choosing.
00:36:49
Speaker
No, I'm not using necrophilia. You're not? No, I'm just trying to be in the mind of one of these guys that would fuck on dead body. You didn't really get in the mind of the guy eating people. I don't even... I can't. That's right, you understand necrophilia. Yeah, it's a little more realistic. Okay, that's the one I'm choosing. You're choosing necrophilia as the ultimate, like, you would rather fuck a dead body.
Fetish Exploration: Roleplay and Fluids
00:37:16
Speaker
then beat off while someone's getting eaten by a tiger. Yeah, probably. I mean, I don't. I'd be like, I'd be up in a tree like, oh, but doesn't see me. Oh, I feel so good. Eat that bitch. Now, when it comes to eating the well, we'll save it because it wins this round. Yeah, it has to. I can't wait for you to go into your erotic novel on the next one.
00:37:44
Speaker
All right. Oh, man. This one's kind of a double urophilia and lactophilia. We put them on the same one because they have to do with fluids. OK, I got to describe those and then I'll look. Yes. Give me one second here. This was supposed to go later. We were supposed to talk about Halloween. Yeah, what happened? You said we have a game. Would you like to play a game?
00:38:10
Speaker
So tricycles right now, motherfuckers. Urophilia is the, uh, so this, um, kind of became popular with, um, a scene back in, um, uh, sex in the city episode. Somebody has sex in the city. Yeah. Carrie, I'm getting sick.
00:38:32
Speaker
Carrie King shames her politician boyfriend who enjoys having people pee on him. That's urophilia. That's harder. I mean, if you're going to be the, if it's going to be a pee game, you should piss on them. It's also known as water sports. It's about as terrible as polo, water polo.
00:38:53
Speaker
Now, I want to know getting peed on doesn't seem that crazy to me. Now, if you're if you're peeing in their mouth and shit. Yeah, I've seen that, dude. Have you seen that? No, I've seen a video of that and I'm like, that is weird. You just fucking rocket piss in their mouth. Yeah, I don't know if I would dig that. That seems that seems over the top.
00:39:17
Speaker
Yeah, I'm OK, but you could piss on my dick or something. Yeah, like a matter of fact, I would have a chick piss on my feet, especially like if I had your feet. Oh, because medical athletes. OK, that's OK. So that one's not super crazy to me. It's stupid, but it's not crazy. And then what was watching the chick piss? Watching the chick piss is not a turn on.
00:39:48
Speaker
Okay. Is it for you? It's all right. So you like it? I wouldn't get off on it by any means, but I'm all right. I wouldn't mind seeing it. Have you ever seen a chick pee in a urinal? No, I would be terrified of that girl. Yeah. There are women that can do it. Yeah. And they're not transgender. I'm sure you have a lot of friends in the military that told you about it.
00:40:18
Speaker
Yeah, indeed. Would you rather be pissed on or doing the pissing? Doing the pissing. OK. Yeah, I mean, first of all, like what's. It's I'm not ever going to ask for that. You like squirting a lot, so I would assume you would like to be pissed on a little bit like while you're fucking. No, first of all, it's a little bit different. A little, but not I mean, sometimes that is piss.
00:40:46
Speaker
It's comes from the bladder, but it's not actual piss. Sometimes it is though. It's not because they're pushing so hard. I don't think so. Sometimes. I don't think that you think never, never. It's never piss. I don't think you can. Zero percent piss. And who's aroused and have her pee on you. It's just not possible. It's like peeing in a girl. Can you do that? It's a different hole. Sure. Okay. All right. Uh, it's a different hole for piss.
00:41:17
Speaker
Technically. Thank you, Dr Watkins. You're welcome. Lactophilia. This is also where you're interested in baby bottles, potentially filled with real breast milk. It could also be, you want to watch a woman breastfeed. Want to watch a woman breastfeed?
00:41:44
Speaker
Yeah, that's, that's what, I mean, this, this is producing and she's not sucking on a titty.
00:41:50
Speaker
Yeah. Breastfeeding. You want to watch a woman giving breastfeeding. You want to watch her, you want to consume her breast milk. Um, you get sexual pleasure from sucking on the, on, uh, what is referred to as nursing relationship. So you're like sucking on the nipple and getting milk out of it. I like the chicks. Milk out of their titties. That doesn't turn me on at all in any way.
00:42:18
Speaker
I like it. It's pretty dope. I have, I don't have a kid though. So like it's not, it's more, I could sexualize it easier. I guess like what's the sexual, what, what makes it sexual?
00:42:32
Speaker
She's pregnant, right. Right for a baby. Well, she's not pregnant. She's was pregnant when I'm saying like, I don't know. I don't know what it is. Like, I'm not going to sit there. Beat it, like rub it out to just watching the chicken squirt milk everywhere, but I'm cool with it. Would you drink it? I'd rather not. I'd rather not. I'd rather pour milk on a chick. Do you like that? No, I like that. I've never even heard of that.
00:43:04
Speaker
What do you mean by pouring milk on a chick? Just white liquid on a lady. Oh, just all over her body? Yeah. Not dumping over her head. No, it's not a fucking challenge. OK. No, I've never I've never really I've never experienced that. I've never done that or watched it really. I've never watched any of that. Bend over and pour milk down the middle of her back, down her ass. It's nice.
00:43:33
Speaker
It's like hot wax, right? It's like the hot wax thing. Not really. Unless hot wax is white. It can be. OK, then I'm done with wax, too. You like you like coming on a woman with milk. Yeah, it's like bukaki, but safer. No, it's not 40 dudes around with jizz on. And then would you lick the milk all lap it up off of her out of her belly button? Like clean yourself off. You would you'd be done.
00:44:04
Speaker
I would probably catch the milk off her pussy into my cereal. That's some fucking nasty fucking cereal. You don't like pussy? Not pussy milk, you know. OK, well, it's not going in. Then the other one is autotune filia. All right. This is this is what all the rappers have now. It's it's autotune filia.
00:44:33
Speaker
And that is where. You like to fantasize being a baby. No. Right now, piss and milk is winning like you're an adult infant and you dress like a baby. It's otherwise known known as paraphilic.
00:44:57
Speaker
infantism, someone who derives sexual pleasure from dressing up as or acting like a baby. Oftentimes there's a mommy figure or a daddy figure, and this individual is playing the role of a child. You're being fed and nursed, you're wearing and using diapers, you're engaging in other infantile behavior. Infantile. Let me ask you this. Two questions. One,
00:45:25
Speaker
What if a girl came out like dressed like a baby and she's like, you ready to do it? I'd ask, does she have a diaper on? Yeah. I was like, do you have a poopy diaper? Do you want me to change your diaper? Yeah. And she says yes. And like, get the fuck out of that with a test.
00:45:47
Speaker
Yeah, if she shit her pants, I'd that would I'd be off all over again. I'm done when she just came out in a onesie and then like unsnaps onesie. And she has like a binky in her mouth. Yeah. Shaped like a dick, though. Eight inches down her throat. A fucking four inch binky. A four inch dickshape binky. You cool with that?
00:46:16
Speaker
I, is this the first time I've met this chick? Yeah, well, no, you've been hanging out a while. This is the first date? No, you don't have that kind of game for a chick to be like, let's get fucking freaky right now. You don't know that. She's an insane person. I have an idea. Yeah, your ideas suck. So obviously this is going well. I would definitely be intrigued. Really? Yeah.
00:46:46
Speaker
What if you let's say like that's what I'm saying, like all these people that have these, how do you how do you bring them up? How would you write right now? I'm I'm a chick. I'm a chick you're seeing. We've been going. We've been dating for a while. I hate you. You know that. How would you bring it up that like you're out of this? Yeah. Well, you're the chick, right? And am I the one that's into the baby basically? I would be like, hey, babe, I'm the mommy.
00:47:16
Speaker
Hey, babe, I just. Sex is awesome. It's been great. I. That's how you start just compliments. You're really good at sex stuff. Yeah, you know, it's you're amazing. I do kind of want to let you know I have a fetish. What is it? Wait, what is it? You sexy son of a bitch. You're also good at sex things.
00:47:43
Speaker
Yeah, thank you. My big cock. Thank you. You fucking handsome bastard. You shove it in your mouth so you stop talking. Oh, well, three inches. Yay. I would I would proceed to say, look, I have a fetish. It's a little weird. It's not crazy, but I do like to be sometimes dressed as a baby and be you be the mommy figure.
00:48:11
Speaker
Like, what does that entail? What do I have to do? You can dress like a baby. It's fine. Whatever you're comfortable with. I'm just I'm not going to shit my pants. I'm not going to pee. I'm not going to. I will wear a diaper, but I'm not going to go full baby. You never go full baby, right? Never go full baby. So.
00:48:31
Speaker
I'm going to, I'm going to cry and I'm going to suck on a binky and I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to hold my hands up to you saying mama, mama, things like that. That's fine. Do you want one of those things that spin above your crib?
00:48:50
Speaker
I mean, as far as you're willing to go, dude, that's that'd be tough. That'd be a tough conversation. I wouldn't be able to have that conversation. I would just come out just like a baby, like, oopsie, I poopsied.
00:49:03
Speaker
So I I have. So my approach is better, obviously. No, because I can play it off like a joke. Play it off like a joke. I come out dressed like a baby and I'm like, I want you to touch my pee pee. And she starts laughing. I'm like, you know, it's funny. Yeah. And I take it off and I'm like, I didn't work.
00:49:28
Speaker
Uh, and then I would obviously reach for your breasts to, uh, because I want to be fed. Yeah. I don't want to play any, I don't want to be the lady anymore. Oh, you don't like that. No, I, my nipples twitched. I don't like that at all, dude. I'm starting to get involved. I'm starting to get invested. Okay. Um, man, I'm going with the piss and milk.
00:49:54
Speaker
The piss and milk. Yeah. The baby thing is pretty funny though. Yeah. Um, but we got to look at it like that's what they're pissing or the milk. The pissing
Electric Shocks and Somnophilia
00:50:07
Speaker
seems so tame. Yeah. That's why I'm fine with it. I don't want to do. Do you think I want to, it's hard enough having a girlfriend. You got to deal with, then you got to treat her like they're already babies and now you got to double up and have an actual baby.
00:50:21
Speaker
Right. Okay. Piss and milk it is. I'll agree. They'd be a, I would probably like, I would take that, take them to the hospital. Like I shook her too much. Like if a chick was like, I want to pee on you, I'd be like, can't you just be a baby? Right. I'm all right with that. Depends where she's pissing.
00:50:43
Speaker
Well, on you. I don't want to know my face. Like, all over your body. No. You know, as a girl to piss all over your body, that's a lot. Look at a straddle and crab walk all around you. No, you're not asking. She wants to do it. That's her thing. Yeah. But I'm saying like she's got to like crab walk over your entire body while she's pissing. That'd be tough. Sweep the leg, Johnny. On her, maybe. You sweep the leg, dude. And all of a sudden that's fucking a wildfire hose going everywhere. Yeah, and then it's in your face, in your mouth. Like, I got some in my mouth.
00:51:13
Speaker
Well, if she was a baby, it'd be the same thing. You'd take her diaper off. She's pissing on you. Well, yeah, it can be bad either way. So yeah, they're going to be involved with the baby one. I'll do the pea milk. Pea milk. All right. We're on the other side. So we're done with that bracket. Right now we have bugs and giants. Bugs versus the giants. Uh, dead people versus piss and milk. Should we go to the other side? Let's do the other side.
00:51:42
Speaker
Other side, consensual voyeurism. So consensual voyeurism is pretty self-explanatory. It's not to be confused with non-consensual voyeurism. That's the one I want. This is where you get consent and then a scenario where you're observing
00:52:06
Speaker
And you enjoy watching and may even be putting on a show this can show up in many ways including watching a partner masturbate Going to a strip club together watching live cam videos All the way into having a black dude fuck your girlfriend What? Yeah All the way to that yeah that I guess that's cuckolding kind of kind of but
00:52:34
Speaker
The voyeurism is more watching porn, basically. Pretty tame shit. Yeah, like live, like through a window. Through a window. Webcams, which, eh, that's just porn. Yeah, but I mean, it would suck to have your dick out outside of your own house and get in trouble. Oh, well, I mean, that's what those spank rooms are for.
00:53:05
Speaker
You go to a shop. Yeah, you go to an adult shop and the you put money in and the window opens up and they're doing shit in there. I don't like that. That's what that's what this is. Oh, I want nonconsensual voyeurism. Oh, how do you do that? That's where you just look when you want. Right. You like look through. You have binoculars. You're looking through the neighbor's window. Yeah, that's I get. OK, but that's not what this is.
00:53:31
Speaker
All right. Well, then that one's gay. OK. Catatronophilia. Is its competitor. Let's find that one. Oh, got to go. Go way up.
00:53:58
Speaker
All right. This one is, uh, these is porn. Are we participating in these things? Well, I mean the, you're acting like you don't like, yes, you would do this or no, you wouldn't do that. Then if it's participating, okay. Okay. Uh, catatronophilia is fascination with mirrors more specifically watching yourself in sexual situations.
00:54:21
Speaker
Uh, where you are fucking with a mirror above your bed, mirrors behind you to the side of you, um, in front of a mirror. I like that. That's kind of weird also. Yeah. Except you're really. It's consensual because you're there. You're, you're, uh, what's that Smurf, uh, vain, vain Smurf.
00:54:43
Speaker
Ain't vanity vanity Smurf is a different Smurf altogether, dude. Yeah, he's the one that fucks Smurfette. Yeah. So, yeah, you're you're you're into yourself like very American psycho. I like that one a lot because I have looked in mirrors. That's kind of just like a live porn. They're like, you get to see what you're doing from the outside.
00:55:11
Speaker
Right. You're not so much being turned on by your by you. It's the act. Right. But it is like I know I'm not really looking at myself going, fuck out. Yeah. Yeah. Are you sure? Maybe I was younger.
00:55:29
Speaker
So, um, so it's this versus the lame ass, um, consensual voyeurism. Yeah. I do like consensual voyeurism a little bit because I mean, not like where you go and pay for a picture show, like some chick that, you know, or that you're seeing or something is like, you can watch me. I like that.
00:55:51
Speaker
Yeah, consensual voyeurism also might be cameras. Watching two people fuck. Watching two people fuck. The mirror thing is like having cameras, but it's not being filmed, so you can't rewatch it. You just watch it in real time. That kind of sucks. Bad memory. Have you ever seen two people, like someone else, fuck? Like, not in porn? In-person.
00:56:21
Speaker
Um, I assumed you watch porn. I have not. Okay. I've not watched two people fuck in real time. Oh, it's pretty. And it's interesting. Right. Is it, uh, I mean, it's like watching a porn just, just not done well. Well, it's pretty good. It's just no zoom. It's kind of like watching football at the game.
00:56:44
Speaker
Right. But it's it's very repetitious. Like it's very like it was porn there. They're doing all kinds of crazy shit. I mean, it's obviously it's it's not real. Oh, if you're watching, it's kind of the same thing. It's what I'm saying is like it's like. Being at the game where you don't have the close ups and the zoom and the different angles and the replay like you're just there like you really can't go down there and put your face by the dudes balls. I mean, look at what's going on.
00:57:12
Speaker
Right. You're you're very limited on what you're seeing. Right. Right. You can move around that. And if you're moving around a ton, I mean, I'm sure you're going to make them a little weirded out. I've only done that like in a two people, like two couples fucking in the same room situation. Right. And you were just sitting there and watching the two couples. No, I was one of the couples. That'll be awesome.
00:57:39
Speaker
I would feel like I would feel like a wealthy king like fuck before me. Make sure you orgasm. Right. Put her leg to the side. I cannot see. I want to see the penetration. I would say I don't know. I like you. I like you call this one. The mirror thing is I guess would be cool, but it would also be
00:58:09
Speaker
I guess I would get off more. Well, I would I would like the mirrors better because you're actually fucking in the other one, you're just watching people fuck. True. So I'd have to say mirrors for me. OK. That's a toss up for me, so we'll we'll let that one go. Catatrotifada. That's what we're doing. All right. Next one, electro electrostimulation versus.
00:58:40
Speaker
Fuck is this word? I can't read my own writing. Queerophilia. Somnophilia. Somnophilia. Sounds like sleeping. So electro. Did you say electrostimulation? Yep.
00:59:00
Speaker
Obviously that is electric shocks. So you're using toys devices mild shock zappy feeling vibrations. Most are below the waist. This is it's important to keep electricity away from the heart.
00:59:20
Speaker
And so beginners shouldn't use intense shocking tools like tasers. Those are beginner level at all and require a bit of mouth. So this is actually like using tasers, using shot collars, using cattle products, like he said. Dude, if.
00:59:47
Speaker
Like I can't imagine banging a chick and then hitting her with this fucking stun gun. Right. And where would you hit her in the, in the, in the, in the asshole? Oh, I'm sure perfect. The higher ends do that. Yeah. That's a, that's like a professional level. That's like NFL. And then what if you like have like a dildo that when you, you penetrate her and then it shocks her from the inside? They probably have that.
01:00:17
Speaker
Like that, I mean, you mean none of that sounds awesome. No, if I was banging a chick and she hit me with a fucking, how do you even know what's happening? Like, if you're banging a chick and she hits you with a stun gun, you're like, am I raping you? Are you trying to get me off or is this, you're trying to get me off? Like, could you imagine you're fucking a chick from behind and she reaches down and you think she's gonna play with her pussy and instead she fucking shocks your balls? She ball-tazes you, she kind of provides the balls. It'd be over, right?
01:00:46
Speaker
I shoot across the room like you fucking you like back to the future when he uses that guitar blown into the wall. Yeah. Did you shock me in the balls? I'm flying out of you at an alarming rate. None of that sounds appealing in any way. What about nine volts on the tongue? You're a little bit nine volts on your tongue. Actually, let me nine volt your pussy a little bit. It's wet. Nine volt might be OK.
01:01:17
Speaker
Yeah, I kind of like it on the song. But I don't think that would be like, that's still not sexual. Like that's not something I would be like, oh yeah, this is fucking getting me off, baby. Dude, you just fucking, you're doing it and then you're just swinging like one of those mosquito things around the above you. Those bug zappers. Um, I forgot to put one of these in here that I've experienced and it's not even on this list. What's that?
01:01:46
Speaker
Blood sex. That's not in there. I know. That's not on the list. You always want to bring that up. I know. That sucks. You're weird. You're a weird guy. All right. So I think I think you think it makes you edgy. Yeah, I'm fucking I am. You're fucking dope, dude. So what was the next one? What was it again? Salmon, salmon, salmon, some.
01:02:13
Speaker
Like insomnia, but not insomnia, the opposite. Somnophilia. Somno. Um, it's, it's referred to as the sleeping beauty syndrome. Um, date rape drugs. You get arousal from a person who is seemingly asleep or unconscious. Uh, it also involves an exchange of power where the person awake is in a dominant position. However,
01:02:38
Speaker
You should always be approached with consent as should all sexual kinks and fetish. Well, no shit. You can't just sneak up on somebody and ram it in there. So first of all, are you how it's not going to be any fun, like the chick is pretending to be asleep. Now, pretending is gay. You have to like say, hey, if you fall asleep, I'm going to fuck you awake. She's like, OK. I guess that or you're like, I'm going to give you this drug that's going to put you to sleep and I'm going to fuck you and then record it.
01:03:09
Speaker
And then I'm going to show it to you. This is Bill Cosby's fetish. This is Bill Cosby is fucking deep in this fetish. He's a somnophilia somnophiliac. Except he didn't get consent. Well, I mean, you don't know. They showed up. Yeah, they showed up to be fucked in their sleep. Come on, man. I don't see what's so bad about being fucked in your sleep. If I passed out and woke up and you blew me, it is what it is.
01:03:39
Speaker
Yeah, have you ever blacked out from being drunk so drunk that you and you had sex and you don't remember any one second of it? Yeah, I was told that I was blown by a chick. And I remember that party house I told you about. Yeah. I was fucked up on Zakela and I went and laid down in my bed.
01:03:58
Speaker
And people left to get more beer or something. It wasn't very many people at the house at the time. Some chicks stayed. And I guess when they came back, she was coming out of the room and she told my cousin's girlfriend what had happened. And I don't remember any of it. And you came? I got raped. Did she fuck you too?
01:04:21
Speaker
That they just said, like, do you have a good time? Like, uh, in what? I had a similar situation where, um, fuck it. If I'm like, couldn't get hard. I have no idea. Right. I mean, I don't know. I mean, if you came in her mouth, maybe she definitely could have fucked you, but I had a similar situation, except I had a witness.
01:04:52
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. We talked about it, uh, in a podcast. So yeah, we'll bring it up again. I think so. Where I, I had a, uh, uh, KFC chick over and then, uh, my buddy was over and he was, uh, just chilling in the living room while I was railing this bitch. And I have, I remember not one second of it. I like that you call her a KFC chick. Yeah. We all worked at KFC.
01:05:22
Speaker
Okay. Well, yeah, but you were actively doing it and moving. I think I literally passed out, but I, like I said to me, it's the same thing. Like, I don't remember one second of it. So it didn't happen. Now that's not how the law works. All right. Which one you choosing? Um, so it's between, it's between. Shocking and sleeping.
01:05:47
Speaker
Oh, sleeping. I agree. Yeah, the shocking is not good. Well, OK, next one is cure Ophelia and age play. So cure Ophelia is as a hand fetish. That one loses already.
01:06:12
Speaker
So basically a person into kyrophilia is especially drawn to fingers and hands. Um, it's not too surprising since hands are such significant sexual tools.
Pregnancy and Age Roleplay Fetishes
01:06:25
Speaker
It may involve an attraction to certain parts of the hand manicures or certain acts performed by the hand from washing dishes to hand jobs. Uh, that's boring as fuck.
01:06:41
Speaker
I guess. You like hand jobs? No. I like hand job. I like a good hand job. Like a good old fashioned. Yeah. It depends on what's going on. Like you ever been making out with chickens? You just start stroking your cock. It's pretty good. It's all right. Okay. You don't blow jobs either though. You're like, you're like, it's fucking crazy. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. And like a new experience.
01:07:06
Speaker
Okay. Maybe someone you're with a long time, like I'll give you a hand job. Like, that's a pathetic. Just don't do anything. Okay. Boom. That's my thought of the whole thing. Yeah. That makes sense. That makes sense. All right. So same old, same old hand job is just laziness. So yeah, there's that it is pure laziness. It is like, I'm not interested at all. Hurry up and come.
01:07:34
Speaker
Yeah, and then that's pressure like I can't cuz no one's into it. I'm not you're not into it Why are we doing this? Why are you yanking so hard? Why are you fiercely? Destroying my cock. Oh, it's funny as the opposite for me. I'm like, can you fucking grip it, please?
01:07:51
Speaker
I think they're trying to be all gentle and give you girl fingers and like they're trying to like give you that like fingernails on it, like dragging them across slowly. Like, what are we doing here? Right. Do it like I do it. Stand behind me and pretend you're my arms behind me. Stick it in my ass. No, just stand behind me and like I'll put my arms behind my back. You be my arms. You just rub it out. It still wouldn't work. Oh, it would. It could work, but it has to be like you have to grip it like you mean it.
01:08:21
Speaker
Yeah, so the hand fetish thing, I'm already going to almost say no, but it depends on the other one. What was the other one? It doesn't sound, age play doesn't sound good. Well, age play involves, uh, exchange of power. Uh, so basically five.
01:08:39
Speaker
In this activity, partners will roleplay and act as if they're a different age than what they really are. A common combination is an adult and a baby who would be cared for. A baby? Like an infant or a young child. It can be categorized as a form of dominance. Where the partner playing the younger person is often the submissive. This isn't to be confused with autotonephilia, where the person gets sexual pleasure from dressing up.
01:09:07
Speaker
It's not necessarily the act of role playing as someone of a different age. More on it. More on that in a bit. What is that? Thinking of the get to you later, you have a commercial in your article. That's the end of it. So they have nothing else to say. There's like, we'll get back to you. Age play would be like, you know, I've done some of this. Oh, like, I'm really I'm really 16 and you're 58.
01:09:36
Speaker
Right, more like role playing and like, I'm a teacher and you're a student. I guess that might work. I mean, I'm not like, I'm not like given numbers like I'm 23, you're 17, let's go. Not that specific, it's more of a scenario. Right, I'm your college professor.
01:10:02
Speaker
Yeah. And you need a grade. Yeah. What are you going to do when you, if you don't, you'll lose your scholarship unless you get in a. Yep. So there's some of that. How far down would you go? Would you be like act like you're just hit puberty? No, I, of course not. That's disgusting. That sounds like you're protecting yourself. Yeah. You just hit puberty and I'm 75.
01:10:31
Speaker
I watched that porn before. Well, not that, that's illegal, but we're like, it's young and old, like a young, like just 18 to 20 year old chick and a grandpa. Yeah, that's gross. Kind of like those. Gives you hope for later. That I'm just like, that's it. Exactly. Like, like that's crazy.
01:10:54
Speaker
So which one's winning here? So we got age play or hand play. What kind of age play would you do? I would probably do like, I'm a judge and you're a 17 year old who is gonna get sent to juvie.
01:11:16
Speaker
And I send, I, I bring you into the chambers to talk about like, um, your case, your options. Yeah. Your options. Okay. That's a good one. I never thought about the judge route. That's pretty good. Your whole life is in my hands. No, that's cure Ophelia.
01:11:39
Speaker
Not literally my hands. So I would probably do the age because the hand thing is just stupid. It's boring. It's very boring. And ladies out there trying to give hand jobs. Knock it off. Yeah, fuck you. Knock it off. Put the work in. Don't be so fucking lazy. It's remember what got you there. You know, you practice like you play. Is that all of them or do we have more?
01:12:05
Speaker
We have one more pregnancy versus clizmophilia. So pregnancy obviously is a pretty easy one. Yeah, that one. I got to get past all these other ones. I don't think you really have to read it. Just pregnant people like being pregnant. Yeah, you're in the you're in the actual practice, which I was with a full term pregnant chick who wanted to fuck just so she could induce pregnancy.
01:12:35
Speaker
Did you do it? I did. I mean, I've not the first time now. Did you knock anything loose? Not the, not the first time.
Enema Fetishes Explored
01:12:44
Speaker
Uh, after a few, a dozen or so, she finally, she finally stopped. Right. That was just time at that point. It was time. Um, so that was the weird experience. Yeah.
01:12:59
Speaker
fucking chick who like I met her and she was like weeks. She was like a week away from from having a baby. She's probably like, if you get your coming me and I get tested correctly, I could probably get you to pay child support. I ended up she ended up becoming my girlfriend. You're lame, dude. I know I was lame. Did you take over a baby?
01:13:27
Speaker
I mean, I helped her for a little while until I broke up with her. That's why you break up with her. Because you're like, you're a full year. You can handle it now. I'm gone. Oh, the one night she, uh, the baby was just screaming and I was like, what the fuck is going on? I get, I wake up, she's not in bed. I go downstairs. The baby's just sitting in the, in the crib, just wailing. And I'm like, what the fuck? Where is she? And I go outside and she's at the next door neighbor's fucking him.
01:13:57
Speaker
So I'm like, peace out, bitch. Yeah. You knocked the baby loose. And she's like, I'm trying to get one back in there. Yep. So that was the end of that. Pretty ballsy. Like that baby is going to tell on you. Yeah. She was a great mother. No doubt. All right. Chlysmophilia. Uh, you, Chlysmophilia it's, uh,
01:14:27
Speaker
They find enemas arousing. Pleasure someone experienced from relieving themselves while using an enema. They enjoy the pressurized feeling. For others, it's the feeling or knowledge of having their bowels cleaned. In other cases, it's all about giving someone an enema or preparing the body for an enema.
01:14:52
Speaker
Most klisma files discover their fetish after having a doctor recommend a recommended enema in childhood. We should do an enema. Yeah. I bet it's fantastic. Right. People do coffee enemas. That's like fucking turbo enemas. Right. You know what kind of enema I do right now?
01:15:18
Speaker
Taco Bell and McDonald's. Oh, that is like liquid shit. Hey, it works. McDonald's and a coffee to go with it. And that's just it's the coffee that does your I know I can have coffee by itself and hats a little bit. But if I have McDonald's, I am. That's like Scientology. I go clear.
01:15:41
Speaker
Oh, nice. Like you're just you're shitting white. You're shitting clear liquid. No, I'm just shitting so much at the end. I'm like, that was the most refreshing thing I've ever done. That's why I think I might be one that likes this. Yeah, enemas are good for you. Where do you how do you do it, though? Like, do you get a tarp? Like, how do you what do you do? I mean, they have places that do it. I'm not going to go to a place. This is going to be like a backyard in your own garage type shit.
01:16:13
Speaker
You stick a garden hose up there. With a sprayer part, like hit the hammer. No, I'm saying like, how do they do it? Like you can do, they have regular enemas, but like, do you, do you do it in a shower? Do you be near a toilet? What's going on? Do you know much about this? I don't. I know when I used to listen to Howard Stern, Robin got tons of enemas, like all the time.
01:16:43
Speaker
Like it was her thing. Can you do too many? No. I'm going to try it. Well, you should probably get it done by a professional. Um, how do I need a professional? There's a squirt stuff up my butt. I don't think it's that easy to do it all the time. You don't just squirt stuff up your butt. You have to have like the right stuff to do it. Well, the rights I have to be certified. You got to be a certified and I'm a knowledge. Yeah. I think you can buy them like over the counter.
01:17:14
Speaker
Yeah. Um, it'd be fun buying that. You'd be embarrassed. Probably. Yes. For sure. I wouldn't. I'm like, yep, give me that. So, uh, yeah, I'm sure there's directions on how to do it. I'm sure it's probably in a bathtub of, of some sort or something. But doing it in a sexual way would be weird. Right. So it's, and it, what's weird is it happens when you're a child.
01:17:44
Speaker
What? Yeah, you kid for this to be a clizmophilia. You didn't hear the last part. It's where you started. Yeah, that's where you gain the fetish. I bet if I did it today, I'd probably get this fetish. But it would be a solo situation. I wouldn't want anybody to be there with me or help me. Right. So you don't want, you don't want to go to a professional anima
01:18:15
Speaker
Studio. Right. Studios. This is a purely medical procedure for me. Like this feels nice. I feel I feel empty clean. Right. That's what I'm that's that's what these professional they're medical places. Yeah, they're just squirting liquid up your butt. They're not doing anything extra. Right. But it's kind of like what you're not just shooting anything up there. No, you buy the liquid. I'm just saying I imagine water works.
01:18:46
Speaker
Probably. Um, it's like a, it's like a douche for your ass. Yeah, I'm done with that. Let's try it. Are you scared to do it without a doctor involved? Not if it's not difficult. Getting it, getting it in there is going to be tough. I don't know if you do it gravity fed wise. I don't know. I'm not sure how it works. What do you mean? You can do a handstand. What do you mean gravity fed?
01:19:09
Speaker
Like he put the bag up above you. So it's a gravity fed into your ass. You kind of like, Oh, I don't think so. I think it's like a, like a Turkey baster situation laying upside down. So it's dripping out your nose. That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't think you have to be upside down. I think it's a Turkey baster type thing. I think it's, it's more than that, but I mean, it might not be. We could look it up right now.
01:19:33
Speaker
All right. Do it. OK. So out of these two, out of squirting, I don't sexually wise, I don't think a chick getting an enema or giving me enema is going to get me going. And what was the other one? Pregnancy. See, I'm not turned on by pregnant chicks at all. I am at all. I am there. You have huge titties.
01:20:01
Speaker
huge thighs. They're horny as fuck. I'm down with it. They're not really that horny lady. Just a banger. Well, she's like, she wasn't like, I guess your friend now he's like, get this baby out of me. I don't care what it takes. What's up. Yeah. It's like a little bottle. You squirt in your butthole. Oh, this one's like fucking Ben. What balls do this one's like a butt plug.
01:20:28
Speaker
This one's like a heating pad. You squeeze. I don't know if I'd feel comfortable. It'd be hard to get it in your own, but right. There's no way I'm asking for help though. Right. You're going to just power through it. Yeah, I'll probably, I'll probably sit it on the ground and try to sit on it. And then how long do you leave it in there before you shit it out? Until you can't hold it any longer, bud. Is that what it says? I imagine it's pretty immediate. I don't think there's a lot of different shapes.
01:20:58
Speaker
Yeah. This sounds way complicated. It's just a bottle, dude. These squirt, like you ever see those bottles? They have some weird ones. Um, shower, enema hose and nozzle system. Oh, but most of them are like Turkey basters. Hello. Yes. Tell your son about butt douching. That was, that was the wife. Oh, she probably knows.
01:21:33
Speaker
OK. I don't know. I'll go with you.
Closing Remarks and Patreon Tease
01:21:37
Speaker
Whichever one you the pregnant chick, I guess. You just been stung by ones. I mean, at least that one, you're like fucking a chick, right? You're not like sticking shit up your ass. Right. Well, the opposite. You're trying to get shit out of your ass. But you're sticking stuff up there to get it out.
01:21:57
Speaker
All right, let's run through the bracket. We don't have to explain these anymore. We can retouch on what they are. But all right. So now we got bugs, bugs. You know what? No, no, no. If you want to hear the rest, listen to our Patreon. You want to know who wins? Yeah. OK. I guess that's it. That's it, baby. See you on the other side. Ride the bull. Ride the bull.