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NTK404 - Pole Position
61 Plays2 years ago
Get ready for a wild ride as NTK Noodles and the King explore the topic of Earth's inevitable pole shift and their plans for survival. Noodles wants to arm himself with as many guns as possible, while TK has a more... questionable strategy. It's a thought-provoking episode filled with their signature madness and humor. Tune in now for an unforgettable episode of NTK Noodles and the King!
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Transcript
Introduction and Humorous Banter
00:00:02
Speaker
You're listening to the Cheap Shots Podcast Network.
00:00:40
Speaker
Let's get ready to rumble. Weird comment here. What's that? No, that's mine. You have a weird comment? No, I'm just trying to join in. Oh. Yeah, what do you got? Let's hear yours. No, that was it. I was just inserting it by saying weird comment here.
Travel Mishaps and Technical Glitches
00:01:07
Speaker
Add it in.
00:01:10
Speaker
That's pretty good. Yep. We're gonna, we're gonna talk about, I guess that makes sense. Go ahead. What's up, dude? What are you up to? Not much, man. Freezin. Oh, why? Ah, it's just cold here. It is not warm here. I'll tell you that. Aren't you in like California or something? No, I'm in Colorado. Oh yeah. You're cold too, then. Yeah. It's, it's very cold, which is okay.
00:01:41
Speaker
Um, cause I'm inside. That's good. Yeah. You really, you really fucking moved up the ladder, man. You're inside now. I'm not outside. So I'm not cold, but it is cold outside. He's looking out at the homeless point and giggling. Where are you at? Oh yeah. You're in the heartbeat of America.
00:02:02
Speaker
I am in supposed to have a blizzard. So thank goodness they did not. Thank goodness. Like news sucks. Like the weather people are like, I don't know, 14 inches or none. So I'm, I'm guessing it was none. It was just a little bit like little dusting, maybe a couple, maybe an inch or two. Oh, okay. Well, you're good. And, and you get to drive home in that. I'll probably fly. Oh, you don't know yet. No, I'll fly.
00:02:31
Speaker
So you'll probably fly. No, you will fly. Well, I mean, I don't know what's going on with the planes. I'm going to guess I'm going to fly. Oh, I thought you didn't. I thought you didn't have a flight. Fly to the angels. What's that? It's pretty good. I didn't think you had a. I did have a flight. I just don't have a hotel. I will be sleeping outside. What? Yeah, I don't know what's going on. I got to get a hotel set up. Just sleep on the plane.
00:03:00
Speaker
Well, I will, but it'd be the following day. Oh, the following day you go home. What? I don't have a hotel tomorrow night. I'm really confused. I fly Friday. I don't have a hotel for Thursday. Where do you fly? Home. Fuck. I gotcha. So you just need to let them know, get you a hotel. Yeah. I need to talk to a travel agent and be like, put me inside. Do you know where you're flying out of? Cleveland.
00:03:31
Speaker
I'm grilling you right now. Oh yeah. It's my favorite. I'm going to unplug the power from this headset. I want to see what happens. Hold on. Wow. I still going sweet. All right. Can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. Okay. I can hear you. Thank goodness. Do I sound weird? Yeah, constantly. No, I mean, do I, does, does fuck off. I'm still trying to get used to this mic. Does it sound okay?
00:03:59
Speaker
Good enough. Good enough. Is somebody upset? Yeah, that's not the greatest, Mike. Seems to be fine. It's all right. Sounds fine to me. I'm going to get one so I can talk like the devil. Oh, only I can talk like the devil. I mean, I don't talk like the devil. It's going to be a whole podcast of two devils talking. It's, it's, uh, it's, I'm not talking like the devil. It's the devil talking through me. I got you. Yeah. That's what I say when I'm picking chicks up.
00:04:32
Speaker
It's not me. It's the devil talking through me. Muffled screaming out here in the background. Can you hear that? What is that? You can hear stuff. Yeah. The girl you picked up. She's dead.
Childhood Fears and Magnetic Theories
00:04:49
Speaker
So, uh, I was listening to, uh, the Rogan.
00:04:55
Speaker
Are you going to keep laughing? Let me finish. Yeah, I got it. I did it. That's awesome, dude. That sounds like the dude at the end of Thriller. You know, it's crazy dude at the end of Thriller when his eyes would turn yellow or whatever. We do that little thing. And that dude started laughing. I'd always try to turn it before that because it freaked me the fuck out. Really? For a while. Yeah.
00:05:24
Speaker
It scared the shit out of me. Like, is that in my head or is that real? Wow. No, it used to scare me pretty bad though. That's legit though. Ain't nothing scarier than Michael Jackson to a child, dude. Yeah. I mean, I don't think that's his voice, but yeah. No, but I mean, just in general, I saw him and I heard that doubled up. I know I can get you to do it.
00:05:55
Speaker
What's that? Oops, that was not supposed to happen. Are you trying to play thriller? Is that your ringtone, you fag? No, that was that was a YouTube ad, which you don't have, apparently. I do not. I'm a wealthy man. I have YouTube read like a fucking spaz child. The love watching video games. Do they still make movies and shit on there and like original series? I don't know. I don't look at that.
00:06:26
Speaker
Oh, okay. I think so. I don't know. Cobra used to be on there. That I do know. I did know that. Now it's on Netflix or something. Yeah. Um, I don't know. I, I'm sorry that I can't answer that. I just did it so I could play it while it's closed and I didn't have to deal with ads cause I hate them. And then, uh, you can re like record or download sequence, do it on the watch it on the plane.
00:06:52
Speaker
Listen and watch it on the plane. I mean, yeah, you get sound and video. It's fucking new school, new age technology. Yeah. I was listening to Rogan today. You usually do. You just listen to that and no agenda. No agenda. Rogan. I mean, the two best podcasts in the world besides us. Well, they're both hilarious. Yeah, I got to. I mean, you don't like comedy and it shows. If I watch too much comedy or listen to too much comedy. You get too funny.
00:07:21
Speaker
Yeah, it'll, it'll, uh, break me. My funniness will stop. Just try it for a while. You want me to die? No, I don't think you're funny is going to stop. I would like it to ramp up. Oh, am I not funny enough for you? I would like you to be funnier. Why not? Sucker. Um,
00:07:45
Speaker
So he had a guy on and he was talking about, I don't know, all kinds of fucking weird shit about Atlantis, how it's in the fucking Sahara Desert. Right. Which is weird. I've heard that. Did you? I've heard that before. Oh, well, you're just a fucking nemo. I listen to a lot of weird shit, dude. I listen to a lot of comedy, but a lot of weird stuff, too. Yeah, I mean, that's why you're so funny.
00:08:16
Speaker
And, uh, he also was talking about, um, uh, how when the earth's magnetic poles flip that we're basically all fucked. When's
Survival Scenarios and Escape Plans
00:08:29
Speaker
that happening Thursday? Well, it's going to happen. Uh, we're about 300
00:08:37
Speaker
thousand years overdue? You don't know. That's way too many years, dude. I think it's, it's something like a hundred thousand years overdue. I thought it was like 60. Yeah. It's more than that. Yeah. Well, we should have a super volcano too. And that's not happening yet. Maybe they're wrong. They're just scientists guessing. Oh, these guys aren't even scientists. They're like investigators. Oh, they're like dudes that are screaming for Sasquatch is in the forest. Yeah. So,
00:09:05
Speaker
Every, it's happened like a hundred times where the magnetic poles, they know this for a fact, where the magnetic pole has reversed. They just flip. And because it's, it's recorded in the, um, volcanic rock. If you take a, a compass and you put it on volcanic rock, it'll go to the North that used to be inside that rock. Okay.
00:09:32
Speaker
That's I mean, that's one way that you could know But yeah, they've geologists and stuff know this it's a known thing It's a theorized thing No, I mean, yeah, and I think all all scientists can agree on that it has happened before and they say it's gonna happen again all Scientists know that it's gonna happen again Most scientists think that it's not gonna do much. It's just gonna weaken the
00:10:00
Speaker
atmosphere for a little bit, but others think it's going to be catastrophic where the world is going to, when the poles shift, the world's going to stop spinning and it's going to create two, two mile long or two mile high waves and mass destruction. Why would it stop spinning? Um,
00:10:28
Speaker
Because when it flips, it's going to stop the rotation for a little bit. That's a bad answer. And when he tried to answer that, he couldn't answer it either on Rogan. Well, I mean, I don't think he he's not a scientist. He can't explain it to the guy that writes books. He's like, here's some terror. I'll sell that shit out of that. Yeah. So it could happen at any moment. An asteroid could land in your asshole. So in the 90s, the magnetic poles were moving at 10
00:10:59
Speaker
10 miles a year. Now they're moving 40 miles a year. It's a lot of miles to go. A lot of miles to go, but it doesn't mean it's going to just keep moving slowly until they shift. It's going to happen. They move, they accelerate when it gets time to flip. To what speed? Warp speed. It's pretty fast. Yeah. Instantaneous. Is this a Marvel comic?
00:11:29
Speaker
It should be. It probably could be. I can't think about that kind of shit, man. No, but it did get me thinking on if there was ever a calamity like that, say an asteroid hit or there was a EMP bomb that went over the world and knocked out electronics worldwide. It would go into anarchy and
00:11:57
Speaker
How would me and you fare during that kind of a situation? What are your thoughts? So say, because we travel a lot, right? Say we're thousands of miles from home when this happens. We can't take a car or a plane back home. We have to walk. Okay. Say we're together. We're working on a project together.
00:12:27
Speaker
And it happens. Everything goes out. The world goes into chaos. What are you doing? Murdering you. I'd be your first victim. Who they going to tell? No one. It's not going to matter. It's pandemonium. It's every man for themselves. Yeah. I kill you immediately. So we find food. I eat it all.
00:12:50
Speaker
I mean, okay. I don't think you would need to kill me right away. Well, as soon as we see food, we have to split it. You're dead. You want all the food? Yeah. I can give you any. First of all, I'm looking for guns. Um, and you're not going to be able to kill me without a gun and you're not going to have one. So I'm going to go get a gun while you go look for food from all the other guys that already got to the gun place. What if I have your first, you're going to be the first one there. I mean, depends on where we are, right?
00:13:21
Speaker
Okay. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what's happening. I just want to know your chances of, what are, what are our chances for survival in a situation like this? Fucking piss poor. No doubt. Um, do you think we would be able to make it home? Where are we leaving from?
00:13:48
Speaker
Oh, let's, uh, you wouldn't depending where we're at, I guess, if we're in the Midwest, you're fucked Los Angeles. We're in LA. I'm dead. We're both probably dead, but, uh, that's it. That's, that's the end of the story. How would we be? How would we be together? Cause I'm not going to your house. No, but what if I told you I had a, um,
00:14:16
Speaker
a vehicle that didn't need electricity to run. I'd be like, probably should have given them that technology seemed to be wealthy sooner. Why did you hold that technology from the world? First of all, how does an EMP bomb work? You can't answer that. Would it work on a lawnmower? It has a spark plug. So it takes out spark plugs? It takes out electronics.
00:14:46
Speaker
Right. So you have a basic lawnmower. So why don't you just put a new, new spark plug in there? Then it would probably work. See, there we go. We can write a lawnmower to salvation, but we can find an old car that has very little of in the way of electronics and, uh, and fix it. I just want to know how an EMP bomb works. I don't understand how it takes out cars. Like does it destroy batteries?
00:15:16
Speaker
destroys any electrical device. Is
Animal Intelligence and Survival Skills
00:15:20
Speaker
a battery an electrical device? I would say yes. I don't think it really is. Okay. And how does it destroy it? The electromagnetism. The electromagnetism of it. How does the world flip over? So we don't know how it works. Do you? No, of course not. That's why I'm asking you. I don't know how it works, but I'm asking the genius of the podcast.
00:15:45
Speaker
Oh, that's me. Uh, I don't know. I do not know, but it roaches electronics with electromagnetism because electronics would probably, I'm guessing the polarization of things would be fucked. It's kind of like the same lines as your earth flipping over. So what I would, I think it was flip over. No, just the poles. Oh.
00:16:15
Speaker
the true north and true south flip. So, um, obviously that's the earth. Why would it do anything if it did that? Um, because it causes, uh, earthquakes, it causes volcanoes, causes the earth to just go into convulsions.
00:16:41
Speaker
It stops because that's what they said it does. Okay. Like I don't think we spin because of magnetics. I know. Why do we spin? I'm guessing some sort of gravitational situation. So the gravity's making us spin? The gravity from the sun and our mass and how we sit in the space probably. Yeah, I don't know. I, maybe the, maybe the, the core has something to do with us spinning.
00:17:14
Speaker
I have no idea. How do we even know we're spinning? I don't know. How do we know we're around? That's a good point. The earth, maybe the sun goes around us. I mean, it very well could. That's what was the belief for thousands of years. It's a pretty good belief system. The whole universe revolves around us. We're pretty cocky as a species.
00:17:43
Speaker
Uh, yes, that's because we're the best. Well, we're the only ones. You and me? No, just our species, the only ones. Tigers are pretty cool. I mean, as far as humans, as far as intelligent life, we're the only intelligent life in the universe. Dolphins are pretty smart, you told me. Yeah, they're not intelligent though. Just smart, not intelligent.
00:18:13
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, they're smart for an animal. Dogs are smart for animals, but they're not intelligent. First of all, dolphin is a mammal. Are we an animal? We're a mammal. We're animals. Yes. We're mammals. Yeah. We're still animals. Okay. I mean, are all, are all mammals, um, not animals? I don't fucking know. Okay.
00:18:41
Speaker
This is, this is going well. And I like it. It's a science talk with no facts and no information. So bad. And you don't have the right guess, bud. What do you mean? Oh, that's true. Well, sit there and go, wow, that work. And then the guy it's across does all the work. Heavy lifting. I guess we die instantly. Um, I get a, well, I mean, what is your plan? Tell me what you, how we're going to live. All right. So we're going to hit a store for guns.
00:19:12
Speaker
We're going to move at night. Okay. Not during the day. That should make it easy. Um, just us and every other guy with a gun that knows like we move at night. Yeah. That's why, I mean, that's my plan. That's what, that's what my, I suggest. Okay. Um, we're also going to, uh, have camouflage.
00:19:39
Speaker
And we're going to not, we're not going to take roads. We're going to take, we're going to be off road. So, uh, the Pacific crest trail, I think would be my route. Why? Cause that's off the beaten path. There's it's, it's the middle of nowhere. It's a whole trail that goes from Mexico all the way up to Canada. Okay. So that trail's very well marked. People use it hikers and stuff, but your normal.
00:20:09
Speaker
Crazies aren't gonna be using that trail Why? Because they're gonna be in the cities looting and pillaging and raping and killing So somehow you're different than everyone else and they wouldn't think to do anything like this I'm different. What do you mean? Do you why won't I be raping pillaging and killing? No, I'm saying you're assuming everyone's gonna be doing that There's probably gonna be some people on that fucking trail. They're my yeah, that's why we have guns Well, so do they
00:20:38
Speaker
Yeah. So, I mean, we don't have to kill them unless they're dangerous. You're going to ask them. No, we're not going to talk to people. We're going to be on our own. But what do we run into? And do we say, hey, you're dangerous. We have to decide we have to shoot you. Yeah, we'll have to decide that as we go. OK, it's going to be smooth sailing. We're going to have to camp every night.
00:21:08
Speaker
off the trail somewhere where we're in, we can't have fires. So we're going to have to have a lot of beef jerky. Where do we get that? Um, the gas stations. Oh, so we fought off the rapers and pillagers to get the jerky. Yeah. I mean, well, there's going to be gas stations that are secluded, not in the middle of LA. Okay. We got to get out of LA first. That's the big thing. You're a very hopeful fella. Well, I'm just giving you a plan. What's your plan?
00:21:40
Speaker
rape and pillage. I'll just be going by myself. That sounds like some good chaos. I'm going to get banged, bang a few out and die. That's what would happen. I'll probably try to rape and pillage the hottest chicks, so at least my seed goes on when I die. They're going to die too. Not the hottest chicks. They're going to get taken by some sort of tribe.
00:22:04
Speaker
All right. So you're raping hot chicks. Um, sounds better than your plan. Eating beef jerky and sleeping in the sticks, asking guys if they're dangerous. I won't be talking to people. They're gonna, you're going to see people that have guns and they're gonna be like, you know what? We would like to have your gun. And since there's only one of you and there's nine of us, we'll take your gun and then I'll shoot first and ask questions later.
00:22:27
Speaker
Right. As you're getting riddled with bullets from the other eight dudes, they won't know where I am. I'm going to be camouflaged. Like I told you. Okay. Did you create this? Are you wearing like leaves? Oh yeah. Gilly suits. Oh, you somehow got a Gilly suit. You have a lot of, you do it. You did a lot of shopping on the way. Yeah. I was at, I went to a sportsman's warehouse.
00:22:52
Speaker
Okay, that's bro shop something. I found something and I got in there got out while everyone was looting and grabbing guns I grabbed one the ar-15, of course of course and lots of lots of bullets So, okay, you're you're gone. Yeah, like you I'm not gonna I'm with you, but I'm like standing behind you like hiding behind you like you're a tree and
00:23:20
Speaker
I give you a gun as well. No, that's dangerous. You gave the most dangerous person a gun. At some point, I'm going to turn on you. Well, that's the decision you'll have to make. Well, when I see nine dudes with guns saying, give us your guns, I'm like, hey, I caught this guy for you. I caught this guy for you. I'm part of your clan. Yeah, I'm not part of your clan, but I was coming up on here and I saw him staking you guys out. And I had my gun pointed at you like I actually brought him over here.
00:23:47
Speaker
Most of the people on the trail are probably going to be normal people trying to escape. Okay. You got to figure that, yeah, there's going to be dangerous people everywhere, but you have a better chance off the grid. Um, you're still moving north. There is no grid cause everything goes in pole EMB. What grid do you speak of? Off the, off the highways. Okay.
00:24:15
Speaker
It's funny cause like probably let's say 60 to 70% of the people think the same way and just everybody's in the trees and no one's on the highways. Yeah, but that's, we know that's not going to happen. That's not going to be the truth. Have you seen the kids today? They're going to be stuck. They're going to be sitting in their house. You think I haven't. That's probably the safest place. Really forever. I mean, where are you going? I'm going to get my family to go get your family.
00:24:43
Speaker
Yeah. Where were you going to be at some point? You're going to be in a house. Yeah. Yes. Hopefully they'll still be alive. Hopefully. Um, I'm going to get already taking the same plan and got into some trail and they're up in the trees and ghillie suits. Never find them. Well, I mean, we'll have to cross average when we get there. So it's going to take a while to get there. Yeah. It's going to be a lot of singing on your party.
00:25:12
Speaker
And I would be like, dude, quiet down. There's people in the trees. Yeah, I'll probably be singing some ghosts because music will not exist anymore. Well, it still wouldn't if you're singing that. Maybe I'll bring a guitar with me.
00:25:27
Speaker
I can carry a guitar where you have space for that with your AK and your fucking Gilly suit and all the other stuff bird beef jerky. Yeah. Well, you're going to carry some of the shit. I ain't carrying shit. I'm there for help. Just I'm just your imaginary friend. So far you sound real helpful. You know, as soon as you start singing ghost, I'm going to bash you on the head of the rock. Take your AR and your Gilly suit.
00:25:53
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I mean, if that's what you do, that's what you do. That's a risk you're going to have to take. You start humming it, dude. Yeah. You catch me looking at you. You seem like if I start dropping back behind you, I'm picking up a rock. So you're not much help in this situation. Neither are you. I am. I'm doing everything. You're just walking with a gun going, everybody's probably cool on this trail.
00:26:17
Speaker
And I'm carrying beef. I'm carrying all the supplies. You're just walking along with no, we haven't beef jerky. You can't carry some beef jerky sticks. What do you mean? You said the supplies. Well, we got weeks, weeks worth of beef jerky. Yeah. Who's carrying all the fucking jugs of water? We're going to have to get water as we go. We're going to have to boil water. Oh good. Now we have a, we can't start a fire. You said no, not at night.
00:26:44
Speaker
And hopefully our fire doesn't create smoke because that would be tough. I'm just here to just throw all your ideas. Continue. Oh, we're going to have some buns and burners. You know what? I create an ATV out of fucking sticks and trees and propulsion system and we just ride. First of all, that's not real. Well, neither is your idea. My idea is at least plausible.
00:27:11
Speaker
maybe yeah my idea is plausible so i can't wait till you're drinking urine out of my dick out of your dick even well where would it go it's the only place it comes out um yeah there's gonna be water there's streams oh those are gonna be drank by the other people they're way ahead of us on the fucking trail they might be ahead of us but they might be behind us they all drank it all
00:27:37
Speaker
Uh, we're going to jog the whole way. Okay. Now it's just unrealistic. Bro, I could just see like, dude, get up. You're like, speed jerky sticks are so heavy.
00:27:52
Speaker
You're carrying some of the shit. You, we have tents and we have sleeping bags. Oh dear God. If I carry the beef jerky sticks, we're not going to have weeks supply. We're going to have to sleep in the same tent. I can say sleeping bag. I got excited for a minute. We have, uh, adventure packs on, so we're ready to go. We did a lot of shopping.
00:28:17
Speaker
Yeah, it's free shopping. We didn't pay for any. Well, obviously. But I mean, everyone else that is like you is there getting guns, ghillie suits and backpacks and tents. All right. So that that's my that's my plan. Let's hear your plan. I told you my plan. You're dead. I rape and pillage. Oh, OK. All right. You know, you know, life is over anyway. It's it's not even worth living.
00:28:48
Speaker
Well, you paint a really good picture of jogging with you while you hum or sing ghost to your family's house. I won't be singing. Well, that's because it's the closest and then we're going to be lying straight over to your family's house. Nothing like taking a quick fucking six week jaunt north to go Southeast. I could have been halfway home.
00:29:14
Speaker
Yeah, you could. You could. I could go my way. You could go your way. We could do better. Now, animals, you're not even accounting for animals. We kill them and eat them. It's a good chance they're going to kill us and eat us. Not with guns. What do they have guns? The animals have guns. Yeah, they become aware. They're taking guns from the other people. They're trying to shoot them. Yeah, I don't think we're going to have to worry about animals in California much.
00:29:45
Speaker
I would try to probably get something where I can get out on the water and work my way up the coastline. That was the other plan. It was a rowboat. Keep it secret. Well, no, it was a rowboat, but that's not our sailboat. Yeah. Getting ghillie suits, beef jerkies, guns, and something else is way easier than getting a little rowboat.
00:30:07
Speaker
a sailboat. We need a sailboat. Nope. You're going to fucking swole fucking biceps by the time we get there. Well, first of all, um, that's a terrible plan, but we can try it. Fantastic. Because we're going to get out. We're going to run. We're not going to run across many people with fucking guns. And if they come to us and our little rowboat, they're going to have to roll over to us too. So we'll see them coming from a long way. We will see sailboats. Probably.
00:30:38
Speaker
And, um, they're not going to fuck with us. They're going to get out into the ocean a bit. Maybe. How close are we going to be rowing to the shore? Probably just enough to keep an idea of where we're at. Like can snipers pick us off? Yes. That's a really douchey sniper to just shoot you for no reason. That's what I would do. There's nothing, no benefit to them. They're like, let's waste a bullet on that guy out there on the boat. Sounds kind of fun. Yeah. Just nothing like wasting bullets on fucking randomness.
00:31:10
Speaker
So and we have all of our supplies in there. We don't have to fucking carry them. The boat's carrying them. Right? Where do we sleep? In the boat. No, that's a bad idea. Why? Do we have an anchor? Sure. Why not? We can get anything else. All right. Why can't you sleep while I fucking keep going and vice versa? I guess that sounds awful. Sounds pretty good to me.
00:31:40
Speaker
I'm sleeping. You could just fucking be just screaming goes while you're fucking paddling away. Um, we just shit and piss in the ocean. Yeah. All right. Pretty simple. Get some dude wipes with us. Sure. We grab those cause we're thrifty. Yeah. Um, think about you're carrying nothing. How nice is that?
00:32:05
Speaker
I mean, for a while, we're going to have to get off the boat at some point. Why? We're going to have to resupply. We're not going to have enough supplies in that row boat. That's going to be tough. For a thousand miles. That's a lot of miles. Yeah. How many miles do you think we could row a day? 12. 12? I don't think we'd be blown out pretty early.
00:32:33
Speaker
we'd get stronger as, as the weeks went on. So we're doing 20 miles a day. I said we could probably get more than that. All right. What? You're doing 24 hours, bro. We're not doing 24 hours. Yeah, we are. Cause you're sleeping. I'm sleeping. I won't trust you. You'll throw me off the boat.
00:32:53
Speaker
Mmm, that's a good idea Yeah, you're gonna have the fucking strength and balance to chuck you off the boat. Yeah That boats tipping if I try to throw you off the boat. Yeah, you're gonna slide me off the boat slowly Kind of wake up with my head underwater kind of boat Just a floater on a surfboard together How big is this fucking
Coma Experiences and Alternate Realities
00:33:16
Speaker
rowboat It's a fucking rowboat I'm very big
00:33:22
Speaker
It's more like a no, not a canoe canoe. You can't carry shit. Well, canoe, you can't carry a kind of kayak, right? We could have a pontoon boat. Are you going to paddle a pontoon boat? Well, I'm on one pontoon. You're on the other. You know, we could do here. I got it. OK, we get two bicycles.
00:33:51
Speaker
I know what you're saying. We get a paddle boat. We could do pretty good with two, two fucking bicycles. And just bike it up. No, we just put those on the end and we create little paddles on the, we take the rubber off the wheel and we put paddles on that wheel. So we're, we're tilted downwards. Yeah, we're probably leaning a little bit back. Yeah, a lot back.
00:34:18
Speaker
One's paddling, one's paddling forward while the other is paddling backwards. Why backwards? Well, because you're on the up the front hub. How heavy do you think we are fucking sinking a pontoon? First of all, I have a better idea. They have those paddle boats that you can fucking get where you they have pedals, right? They already have the paddle and the pedals. It's all set up. Yeah, but we lose space for storage for. Oh, no, there's still there's tons of space.
00:34:47
Speaker
There you go. Plastic made out of plastic. So I could pedal all day. Yeah. So could I. So we, we, we're good. So drink water while we're laying down. Yeah, we'll get a tarp. I'll just catch it in your mouth. Yep. Oh, well shit. You're pretty good. Thank you. You can put a funnel in your mouth. That would be funnel.
00:35:16
Speaker
So we're, we're taking a paddle boat all the way to the Oregon coast. I think that's the safest way to go. Now we still have another couple few days of hiking to get to my house. Nope. We're going to forge a waterway. We're going to walk through the enchanted, uh, redwood forest.
00:35:43
Speaker
It's enchanted. Yeah, of course. What does that mean? It's a magical place. Well, there'll be two fairies in it for sure. All right, so we have a plan. I mean, which one you want to do? The paddle boat. Yeah, I didn't have any thought into this. I'm like, we'll take a boat. You're like, that is a better plan.
00:36:08
Speaker
Well, the, it's not necessarily better because I don't think it's any quicker to be honest with you. We're going to hit storms and shit. Cool. Maybe we'll get thrown thrown forward. It's going to be treacherous either way. We just won't see as many people. Maybe shouldn't. So, all right. We figured that out.
00:36:36
Speaker
Yep. So don't take our ideas. If you get, there's an EMP pulse. Don't be out there on the water sucking up our idea. Make up your own. No, don't do it. You know, it could do hot air balloon. Um, yeah, I guess that's not, I don't think there's any electronics on those is there? Uh, probably an electrical starting like start the fire started. You could use a lighter. Yeah. I'll stand back. You started up.
00:37:07
Speaker
I'll be over there. It's awesome, dude. You can just use a lighter like, yeah, do it, dude. You got one of those fucking grill lighters and you crank it up and boom, just pieces of you everywhere. Like, looks like I'm going alone. You think that's what would happen? It's helium, not hydrogen. Yeah, I don't know, dude. Yeah, I think, um. It's helium. We would die in a hot air balloon.
00:37:32
Speaker
Well, we would be just up in Canada and we have no idea how to use one. And so we'd be all over the place. No, I don't know what the fire runs off of propane. I guess that's another thing we probably going to run out of that. So we just hit the ground at a high rate of speed. Yeah. I'd be like, well, like, I don't know how. Yeah. It'll be, I'll be like the wizard of Oz. Oh, you've never seen that. I have. I don't remember that part. Jesus Christ.
00:38:00
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't watch it very often. I watched it maybe twice. All I know is green flying monkeys. That chick got gang raped. Which chick, Dorothy? Yeah. By who? The Tin Man and the Lion. Oh, I didn't see that version. What was the other one? Were those the only two things? The Scarecrow.
00:38:27
Speaker
Oh, yeah, that fucking dummy. That's it, though, right? And Toto. Toto eating Toto. So. OK, no hot air balloon. That's not going to work. It could.
00:38:50
Speaker
Yeah, we can't fly a fucking hot air balloon. Oh, we're going up. How do we like go like a direction? I don't know. Wherever the wind takes us. Hey, we'll get away and we'll land somewhere else where it's just as dangerous. That's going to be, yeah, it's going to be bad. So when it happens, it's going to happen. What? The end of the world. Yeah, sure is probably not in your lifetime. We don't know.
00:39:18
Speaker
No, we don't. I said probably I qualified it. All right. So if you were home when the end of the world happened, what would you do? Chill at home. That's it need to be like calling Uber. I mean, what else can I do? Well, you want me to start walking to your house? Like what are you going to do? Not my house. I'm saying, what would you do to survive? Trying to fuck up my neighbor's houses and fuck like overpower old people in my neighborhood and take their shit.
00:39:48
Speaker
Yeah, those old people probably have guns. Yeah. Well, it's going to take a while for them to get going and get up out of that chair. I got them. Okay. So you're just going to automatically be a bandit. I'm going to survive while you're walking in a trail, eating berries that you hope are fucking cool. You're going to take your family out of their safe house and like, let's go out on the trails where animals and possibly people with guns are eventually you're going to have to leave. Why?
00:40:20
Speaker
Cause you need food. Yeah. I'll probably go outside when I have to, but I'm going to live in my house. All right. What is your plan? You're going to just live in the trees. No, I'll find a much better place to live up in the mountains. Okay. It'll be abandoned. Sure. The people that are super wealthy that fucking have nice places probably don't have guns or a plan. Yeah, they're dead. They were on vacation.
00:40:49
Speaker
I got you. They never made it home. Okay. You guys have enough candles? Probably not. Yeah. That's a, that's not going to be good. Yeah. How many candles you got bud? I think we do have a ton of candles cause there's an addiction at my house. We'd be stranded and like left for dead, but it would smell fantastic.
00:41:16
Speaker
Yeah. And that part is you can't call, uh, you can't order anything from Amazon anymore. So, uh, dummy one and dummy two are fucked. Yeah. It's going to be bad. Well, I'll be there. So yeah, you'll do all the work. Yeah. All right. I mean, you have a couple of boys, you'd have some help at least.
00:41:43
Speaker
Yeah. Everyone, as long as everyone is survives the initial, uh, explosion, uh, we're good. We got guns. That's cool. How many bullets did you fucking manage to grab? Are you going to make some? Oh, I don't know. I can't make any yet. I should get some, I should get a bullet maker.
00:42:08
Speaker
Right. And then you got to make sure you have a bazillion fucking pounds of gunpowder and the bullet casings. Well, yeah, that's what you have when you make bullets. If that's the case, why didn't you just buy a shit ton of bullets and skip that fucking part? Yeah. I'm not planning ahead. This is when it happens. Then you don't have a bullet. No, I wish I did. I could get one now. I can go get one and then it'll be there for when this does happen.
00:42:36
Speaker
That's what I'm saying. Or you could just hold a shit ton of bullets. Yeah. I could, I could go buy a bunch of bullets. And not hope that like your fucking bullet making skills don't cause some sort of problem with your gun. No, I'll be the perfect at that. That won't be a problem. Okay. Yeah. You're an insane person. I also have to get that when guys are like, yeah, I'll just make my own bullets. Yeah. How much does that cost? About the same as the bullets. Just buy the fucking bullets.
00:43:06
Speaker
Yeah, sometimes they're not easy to get. Okay. But probably if I can barrel a gun powder and a bazillion casings, pretty, pretty easy to get hands on. Oh, and probably just as difficult. Yeah. Hey, can I get a barrel of gun powder? Like why? Oh, don't worry about that safe. Yeah. I'm making bullets. Just making bullets. What would you do in the wintertime when it's minus 10 degrees? How would you stay warm?
00:43:33
Speaker
Probably use fucking wood in my fireplace. So then people would know you were there. Well, I guess I'm fucked. I mean, if I'm out inside with what am I gonna do now have fire outside either? I guess I just bundle up. No, you need fire because you got to cook on it because you don't have any anything else to cook on. Then what do you do? You're gonna have to risk it. I guess so.
00:44:01
Speaker
Uh, once I kill all the old people in my neighborhood, I didn't, I don't think everyone in your neighborhood is old. I know which houses to go to. Don't you think the other neighbors do too? Got two neighbors that are cops. So that might be a problem when I start killing old people. Yeah. Well, they're probably going to turn the quickest into the crooks. Oh, they have all the guns. Yeah. So they're, I mean, you're probably dead the first day. That could be maybe second day.
00:44:29
Speaker
Maybe, but you'll be living well into the future. A hundred years, no fire outside. You are a man's man. No, I have, I'll have help. Um, I'm sure we'll be living with, uh, the brother-in-law and the sister. Good. More people that you have to try to figure out how to feed. Yeah. I mean the feeding part's not going to be that bad. Okay. This is going to be a lot of food for a while.
00:44:57
Speaker
for a little while that populations get decimated real quick. Yeah. So the food part, I think we'll, we'll be able to deal with, um, with the number of people we have now. And if they're out there shooting like that pop, that's going to be decimated year one, all the food, all the animals are going to be pretty decimated. You're going to get a little bit here and there, but I mean, you're going to struggle. I mean, how do they, how do they do it in the walking dead? You mean that TV show? Yeah.
00:45:27
Speaker
Oh, well, first of all, most of the people were zombies, so they were just trying to eat people, so they weren't shooting anything. I mean, right? No, but they're probably eating animals and shit. I mean, they're not just eating humans. Yeah, but they got to chase them down. They're slow. Yeah, not at first. They slow down as time goes on.
00:45:54
Speaker
Yeah. Why don't you go outside and run down a deer right now with your non-zombie body? Just run one down and tackle it. Punch it. Punch it to death. You have a weird view of how things work. I'm just asking.
00:46:14
Speaker
What do you mean? How did they do it? They just had six people. So you're saying there would be no food left? I think it'd go pretty quickly. You'd better learn how to, like you better get to fishing. Fish is the only thing that's left. Pretty quickly. Back in the day when there was like tribes and Native Americans and things like that, they fucking hunted buffalo to extinction.
00:46:40
Speaker
No, they're still around. Well, close to excuse me, but I'm almost near extinction for a while. And first of all, just them with arrows and like, first of all, the Indians didn't hunt Buffalo to extinction. We did. All right. Well, we did. Once you started getting more people here, you're just strengthening my point. We were killing the Buffalo just so the Indians didn't have any more. They had to move. So they were cutting off their food supply. Well, there you go. So it wouldn't take very long. There's a lot more people now.
00:47:10
Speaker
Yes, there is. That is a fact. So I don't know how many animals there are. I don't know if as a recruit procreate and whatever, but I don't think it, I think it'd go pretty quickly with the thought of like a large number of the population was out there hunting and had guns. I don't think the vast majority of people wouldn't know how to hunt. Doesn't take long when you're starving.
00:47:39
Speaker
They would, yeah, that doesn't help. Look, a thing that I want to eat, shoot at it. It's not hard to learn to fucking hunt. Yeah. Maybe, but to be quiet and wait and hope an animal comes by, not hard. There's going to be cannibals. Yeah. That's going to be scary. Yeah. That is true. So would you entertain that idea after a couple of years and then you're starving?
00:48:09
Speaker
I'm sure once I get put in situations, I'll do what it takes. Okay. So yes, that's a yes. Yeah. Eddie people. What parts would you eat? All of it. No, that's not true. Yep. Face first. I can't have it looking at me. That'd be tough. That'd be tough. The first bites can be real tough.
00:48:33
Speaker
Not really. I mean, if you cook it right, it'll be nice and tender. It won't matter. Just the thought of it will make you kind of gag a little. I don't know. You'll be so hungry that you probably will have no problem. Like you'll eat. You'll take a bite and you'll just start scarfing it down. Maybe. Yeah. Some some breast meat.
00:48:56
Speaker
Some white meat. Yeah. Maybe after that, I'll just rip a leg off, eat it like a fucking chicken leg or a turkey. I would just eat it raw. At a certain point, I'd probably be pretty crazy. I can't wait. You should because you don't have good plans. My plans are pretty good. They're not great. Yeah. We'll survive. No, you won't.
00:49:26
Speaker
You and your family would be dead very early. You know who'd be the most savage person in my family? Oldest son, of course. Probably your youngest son. You'll run around just eating animals. No, it'll be my daughter. How? Oh, she'll be a savage. She'll kill anyone on site.
00:49:46
Speaker
I think she talks a good game when she puts in a, she gets put in a situation. She's going to fold like a lawn chair. But that's just my, my guess. Yeah. That's your theory. Why is that? Because one, people that talk a shit ton probably can't do. Well, she doesn't talk about killing people. Yeah, but she acts tough.
00:50:11
Speaker
Yeah, she's the toughest. Yeah. Her fucking favorite band is BTS. Let that person, they're going to be out in the world surviving. That doesn't mean anything. Someone's favorite music doesn't mean anything. I don't know.
00:50:29
Speaker
Who are you going to be more threatened by? Someone fucking coming up with a gun, listening to BTS or a dude fucking rocking to like Satan music or fucking ACDC? Probably the BTS person, to be honest with you. You don't know what to expect from them. I wouldn't be scared of that person at all.
00:50:48
Speaker
unless it's a dude with like cut off sleeves, huge dude wearing camo shorts and shit with like a fucking grenade thing around his chest. Like, okay, that guy is insane. Like I said, there won't be any BTS because, uh, there won't be any music. It'll be the music will disappear.
00:51:12
Speaker
Three of your family will end up killing themselves from listening to fucking hersing and BTS and using Ghost and Weird Al. The other three will just off themselves. So what I'll end up doing is I'll find one of those old crank record players. Yeah. That'll be my music player. Right. Okay.
00:51:40
Speaker
So we're good. We're good. You got a pretty solid plan. Yeah. Um, so do you, uh, just, uh, kill all the old people in your neighborhood. Um, make sure you kill the cops first. Maybe they might actually have your plan and try to get out of the city and go into the woods. Yeah. If they were smart, I could probably just loot their house for whatever's left. I'd probably break down their furniture for wood. There you go. That'll last you at least a winter or two.
00:52:10
Speaker
Well, that, I mean, every single house, I probably start ripping people's houses apart and using their house to burn shit. I probably die from sources of some sort of chemical from burning it. That'd be okay. Asphyxiate myself out.
00:52:26
Speaker
Nah, you would, you wouldn't go out that easy. Just sleeping in the fire. Did some problem with the fire where it filled up the house and like just killed me while I sleep. That'd be all right. Would, would your fireplace, does it produce enough heat to actually warm the house? Uh, probably not the entire house. We'd have to stay in one area. Yeah. One room, the main room. That would be fine. It's not gonna go fuck. I need to go play video games. Can't.
00:52:53
Speaker
No video games. No. Your, your, uh, your life, uh, would be very different. So would mine. We wouldn't subject people to this nonsense. No. Well, no. Yeah. Our podcast would be over. I guess there's one good one, one pleasure for the end of the world right now. Yeah. This is a strange episode anyway. It is strange.
00:53:20
Speaker
You bring topics, we have them out. I wanted to know what you would do. You would kill me. Well, first of all, I'd be blown off the planet with a thousand mile an hour wind. Well, no, because we had an EMP. It's just an EMP, remember? An EMP doesn't affect any entire nation, but OK. No, this one affects the entire world. It's from space. Oh, it's from the sun.
00:53:47
Speaker
It's a solar flare so big that it knocks out everything. Every satellite, every electronic honor. Oh good. There'll be satellites coming in like fucking cruise missiles. Yeah. Chances are they're not going to hit you. Pretty good chance. Probably safe. There's a lot of them. You live pretty close to a Denver. You, why don't you head on over to the airport to the secret, secret underground tunnels they have. I was hanging murdered.
00:54:17
Speaker
Well, I'm just, well, yeah, a lot of people are going to probably go there. That's true. Well, that, and if it's a military, anything to do with the military, like they're going to keep you out. Yeah. How would, uh, how, how would our, who do you think they would military and the Congress and all that? Do you think they would try to, to, uh, keep the United States together?
00:54:44
Speaker
And how would they do that? No, there's no way to communicate. Yeah, there is not. They would smoke signals. Oh, good. I know how to read a smoke signal. Oh, look, two fucking puffs and a long puff. That means get inside.
00:55:08
Speaker
I don't know. They would do enough. They wouldn't be able to give us any direction. They would probably be underground. So before when we first became a nation, how did we communicate letters? So there'd be letters, lots of letters. They just send in tons of letters out to houses that people are in the woods.
00:55:25
Speaker
You know what would really truly happen is there would be a community. So you would, you would take your family. You would hear about, hey, uh, over at this base or that base, there's a, they're set up a, you know, a town, a community for everyone. And so you would go there and, uh, and set up like a fortress. And then they'd be like, guess what? We're raving everybody. It was a trick. So you wouldn't go?
00:55:55
Speaker
Oh, I'm probably forced to go like, I have all the food. Yeah. I mean, you could stick it out in, in your town, but, uh, everyone who stays behind is probably, uh, not the kind of people you want to be around. Probably. You mean they're your kind of people. Like, no, government can't tell what to do. Don't try to hold me bang bang. Did you just puff on something?
00:56:26
Speaker
A vape? No. Did I sound like that? Yeah. No. Oh. Did it adjust my balls? It sounded like you were puffing on a vape. Apparently my balls sound like vape puffs. So. Well, all right. I guess that was, this was a clunker of a, of a podcast. Was it? Yeah, it was. I'm sorry, everybody. Did I not provide good enough in from like entertainment for you? Were you not entertained? No, you did.
00:56:56
Speaker
Thank you. Yeah, you did fine. It was the subject matter that was no good. Why? It was super serious subjects. Not really. Kind of, but not really. Like you said, it's never gonna happen. Oh, it could happen. Where I was gonna live in the lap of luxury and comfort.
00:57:17
Speaker
No, but I'm guessing the thing with this is like those people write books and they do these theories one so they can get published, not just the books, but to their theories. They're all mind experiments, right? Yeah, they're well, they're, uh, they're not really experiments. Kind of. I mean, they're like, well, this could happen. I mean, it's going to happen someday. Well, yeah, we're also going to get hit by a huge asteroid. Which one happens first? We're due.
00:57:46
Speaker
Yeah. We're also due for an ice age. We're due for everything. So we're gonna, we're gonna, uh, melt to death, freeze to death, and then, um, get whipped into space. Oh, we don't have to worry about that. The earth's going to stop, get super hot. So that'd be fine. Because it's super hot. You said it was going to stop and get super hot. So that would be one spot wherever, wherever the sun is pointing, it'll get real hot real fast.
00:58:18
Speaker
The earth will eventually spin back up, but who knows how long that takes. Do we do we lose gravity? Yeah. Well, I mean, there you go. We just float away. That'd be pretty horrific to float to the sky, knowing that like once you hit the top, you're kind of fucked because you can't breathe after a certain point. All right. I mean, if you hit the top of the dome, there might be some air up there.
00:58:47
Speaker
Just people suffocating and then dropping. How would they drop? I don't know. You said they're hitting some sort of dome. Oh yeah, that's flat earth shit. Can't have a dome on a globe. Yeah, that's the flat earth theory. There's a dome. I'm asking. You can't have a dome on a globe. Um, you can't have a sphere within a sphere.
00:59:14
Speaker
I don't know how was, I guess you could, but how would the, the inside sphere be held up? How would it not be hitting the dome? The same way we just kind of float around in a perfect distance and that's perfect speed of spinning to survive. So do you think our earth is spinning? I would assume so.
00:59:42
Speaker
Do you think that we have a flat earth? I think it's, I think, I believe all of it. So we have a flat round earth. Yeah. With an open dome that doesn't exist. And okay, that makes no sense. I just do. I just, I mean, there's, I believe in one just as much as the other. Let's say that. Right. So you have no idea. So it's, it's just as possible that we're flat earth as we are a dome.
01:00:13
Speaker
Yeah. A globe or whatever a sphere. Okay. But that would mean like when we start doing space travel that those people are in on it. Yeah. Well, um, the, so say it is a flat earth, right? Um, like Elon Musk sending the spaceship up and, um, you know, with space X, I mean, that shit's not going past the dome anyway. Okay.
01:00:43
Speaker
So if you believe in, in the flat earth, that it's just going. The flat earth doesn't have to have a dome. Right. So the dome theory isn't necessarily one in the same as the flat earth theory. Right. Like it doesn't have to be a snow globe. It could just be, there's still space just on a flat surface. Yeah. How thick do you think?
01:01:13
Speaker
A lot. You think it's like a thick, thick plate? Sure. I don't fucking know. It's just as crazy as thinking our earth is a circular, circular ball that spins and the water stays on it and we're spinning at thousands of miles an hour and the water is just kind of just moving gently. What are you asking me? That scared the shit out of me, dude.
01:01:40
Speaker
That was the whole point. Yeah, you scared the shit out of me, bro. I thought that was in my mind. I did because only like this chord that I have only plays out of one fucking ear. So that scared the shit out of me. No one ever asked me if the earth is flat. Why don't you tell us?
01:02:06
Speaker
It is. It's fine. Okay. That was very fucking uneventful answer. It is. Yeah, it's completely flat. It's, uh, as, as not around as you can possibly be. Okay. What else would you like to know? How deep is it? How deep is the, the flat earth? Yeah. Know your asshole.
01:02:37
Speaker
Oh, my asshole is endless. Okay. How deep, how deep are you, bud? I'm about 13 miles down. Okay. That'd be awesome. We find out that's okay.
01:02:59
Speaker
It didn't take me that long to get up here. You take a train. Oh, there's lots of trains and hell. I might want to, that sounds like a better place. It really is. It's kind of a forever party for me at least. You don't torture anybody. I mean, I do listen to ghost. I have a dude you should meet.
01:03:37
Speaker
That's a lie now, I know you're not the real Satan That's a weird thing to say So what happens when the earth stops spinning but
01:03:53
Speaker
Have you seen it before? Yeah, it's happened 115 times. They were wrong. It's more than 100. So you just collect a lot of people at that point.
01:04:09
Speaker
Yeah, it's what happens is it slows down very slowly so no one gets thrown off. You won't even know it's happening. That's cool. What about all the shit that's still moving at 1000 miles an hour? Like I said, it slows down very slowly. OK. And the scientists won't know or tell you. That's legit. There's no way they can tell us.
01:04:39
Speaker
There is not a dome. No, no, no. That's that's false. There's no God either. Oh, yeah. You should have said there is, but he's the bad guy. No, it's just me. I've gotten the man. You sound depressed. Yeah, you're talking about everyone dying and the end of the world. That's pretty depressing. Oh, we didn't entertain you this week.
01:05:11
Speaker
I'm just depressed. What? What's the matter, man? Oh, well, you guys listen to you guys. Now, why are you listening to us? You said you were going to kill noodles and that was the first thing you were going to do. You like that. I like I like noodles. Oh, yeah. You told me to be nice to him. I forgot. He's a good conduit.
01:05:41
Speaker
Trust me, I know better than anybody. That's terrifying. Why? I'm not a scary guy.
01:05:56
Speaker
Well, first of all, you're depressed. I don't need your help on that. Oh, yeah. I can cheer you up. That's gross. Just like I cheered your significant other. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're still playing that thing of. Yeah. Well, thank you for banging them out. Not a problem. Keep it up. Yeah. Someone's got to do it. I'm glad you're depressed.
01:06:30
Speaker
I think I'll, uh, I think I'll go cry now. Pussy. Hello. Your buddy's a pussy. That scared the fucking shit out of me, dude. That makes my day. It made me jump. You gotta fucking send a WhatsApp or something. That scared me.
01:07:02
Speaker
We got to play a game with that dude. Yeah. Let's, let's create a game for him. Okay. I'm going to have to get a mic, a mic that does stupid voices and we'll just be a fucking daytime fucking morning show.
01:07:18
Speaker
Uh, traffic is stupid. Just play honky noises and fucking cows. I was so wishing there was, there was noises I had on this fucking thing and there's not. I'll let you run the soundboard. I mean, we're, apparently we're on our own forever so you can run it. We are on our own for kind of, kind of forever.
01:07:40
Speaker
We not only are the voices of NTK, but we're also the producers. You can tell by the lack of content. The lack of soundboard content. That too. Yeah, I need to talk to fucking rdubs and talk shit to him.
01:08:06
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. We have to have a meeting anyway, so I'll try to, uh, I'll try to get, get the executives and the producer in the same room. Yeah. I don't do well with that. I'm kind of just a, I'm here to do this guy. Yeah. And you do it well. Oh, that was very nice of you. You're welcome.
01:08:30
Speaker
I would wait a while before I crushed your skull with a rock. I was just playing. Oh, I know that. Well, yeah, I got to get you to carry stuff for a while. Try to carry all that beef drinking water by myself. Dude, I'm not pedaling the whole way. You got to help me out. As soon as we get to land, though, you better watch out. Do you think we would have a hard time walking? I guess not since we're pedaling.
01:09:01
Speaker
No, we were pretty strong by then. You ever, uh, you ever, you ever have sea legs? Like shape of the shape of the letter C. No, no. Like when you get off a big, like you've been on cruises, you get off the cruise ship and everything's kind of like moving. Yeah. Yeah. I've had that before. Yeah. It's kind of cool. Yeah. It's nice, dude. I'm telling you, like,
01:09:24
Speaker
coming out of that weird coma, that weird coma, coming out of that coma, like the earth's gravity is strong. Very strong. Why? Cause you couldn't sit up. It was hard to sit up. It was hard to walk everything. It felt insane. Did it feel like it was pulling you down? Kind of. Um, it just, I felt every fucking ounce of my weight. I'll tell you that.
01:09:51
Speaker
That is bizarre. It was bizarre. It was very bizarre. So much so that your brain is like, take a fucking walk. And your body's like, nope, fucking noodles. Literally. When I first stood up, they put a belt on me to hold onto me. And I'm like, what's the problem? They're like, oh, people fall down all the time. Like what? Started walking, almost fell down. I was like leaning back. I couldn't stop. Did they say why? Because your, um, your muscles go into atrophy.
01:10:21
Speaker
Oh, so that's what happened to your hand. No, that's some fucking nerve damage that they fucked up, but it's pretty, it's crazy, man. Like if you can go into a coma and safely come out and recommend it. Uh, just, just to feel the gravity. No. Um, appreciation of the world, like being brand new again. It's like being born. Right. You don't have to wipe your own ass.
01:10:50
Speaker
Well, that part was sucked. And then trying to piss with a button dick in front of a hot chick. I don't know what was the drugs or blood flow or what my dick was like inverted. Probably lack of testosterone while you were in a coma. Maybe it was unimpressive. But no, just like colors and light.
01:11:18
Speaker
Just everything's so amazing. Like a lot being alive or just the stuff around us for granted so much. I wish that that feeling didn't go away. Yeah. How long did you feel that for? Probably a month. Uh, did you, um, what was I going to say?
01:11:41
Speaker
Small dick or no. Oh, when did you when did your hair first start falling out? I don't remember Probably after that first month Okay, or during that first month it's it's fine now, but it was yeah worrisome at the time Yeah, you were you were you were trying to keep it like together and you're like, it's really sucky but you were panicking and
01:12:10
Speaker
Oh, definitely panicking. The doctor's like, ah, it's fine. I'll come back. I'm like, dude, it's coming out. Like I live next to a nuclear facility. But, uh, just, just man, if there's any way to get that a pre, like that's why drugs are kind of cool, right? Because it takes you away from your, all of our senses are designed to get dumbed down. Right. Because if we notice them all the time, we'll fucking have a panic attack.
01:12:41
Speaker
What about the drugs that people take in their senses? That's what I'm saying. You can't live like that, but it's nice to have that sometimes because the colors and all the stuff that we take for granted is it's new again. Right. It almost looks fake. It did. It was so bright. Like it was almost like having a concussion where the grass was so green.
01:13:12
Speaker
The sun, like you could feel, you could feel heat, you know, normally on the sun, but like I could feel it actually warming me more and more. I don't know. It was just like being brand new to the planet. Yeah. Yeah. And honestly, I think I did do that. I think I died. Why do you think that? I just think, um, Utah, we, you know, about like realities and how energy never dies or whatever.
01:13:42
Speaker
And we think we're worried about dying and things, but what if we never die? What if you just transmute yourself to another dimension or reality?
Quantum Leap and Alternate Universes
01:13:53
Speaker
Right. Another body. Like when I came out, things were different with people. Obviously it was a little different for a while cause I thought I died, but what if I jumped into a different reality? Like relationships seem a little different with people.
01:14:12
Speaker
and all that stuff. Oh, that's true. It very well could be Mandela. So what if I left a different world and I'm in a new world? Who knows? But I did think that for a very long, like for a while, for like a few months. That you were, you were in a different dimension. That I was just in another, not really a dimension, but another reality. Well, that would be a dimension. Dimensions are kind of like, there's a first dimension, a second dimension, a third dimension, fourth dimension.
01:14:41
Speaker
That's all, you know, two dimensions is linear. Like on a piece of paper, three dimension has a third dimension that goes up. You're talking about like sliders where they, four dimensions, four dimensions, like a time. What's up. You know, you're talking about like the show sliders. I don't know what that is. Or they slid into different dimensions, different realities of the same world. Yeah. I'm like fucking the dude from quantum leap.
01:15:10
Speaker
Well, he just went back in time and into different bodies. Okay. I don't think that was different dimensions. Realities. It was the same reality though. Maybe. Like he stayed in the same, the same dimension reality timeline. I don't know what you're talking about by four dimensions. Dimensions. Like you're saying dimensions, like a reality and a dimension are different things.
01:15:40
Speaker
I'm saying that. Yeah, you're saying that. Uh, people who believe in different alternate universe. Let's just call it that. There you go. You slid into an alternate universe. That's what I think. Okay. And it's just, this one sucks. Oh, but so did the other one. Not as bad as this one. You're alive. Yes, I am alive. I guess you have a bad, the last one I'd be dead. So that would suck.
01:16:10
Speaker
What if that's what happens, man? I mean, maybe we live on forever and we just keep jumping. Uh, right. So that's, I mean, you might not jump into a human or a reality where, you know, people to die at 90, maybe they die at 600 and another reality. All right. Well, if you didn't jump into a human, what would you jump into? I don't know. I don't know what their existing universe. I don't want to jump into it with like a fucking Fox or a
01:16:36
Speaker
Well, I'm not saying that I'm going to like, I'm saying like our, our level or higher of a entity. Yeah. You probably don't jump down. Most of the, so the most of the ultimate, I mean, I'm guessing the vast majority of alternate dimensions, if those exist of our plane, of our planet would be very similar.
01:17:01
Speaker
Yeah. Um, differences. I listen to a thing about quantum mechanics today or quantum physics where just even having two choices, basically two different paths, both paths, paths actually exists. One of you is going down one one's going down the other. So just two paths. Well, it depends if you have a decision of two choices or outcomes.
01:17:26
Speaker
And then you make another choice and that splits again and it splits again and it splits again into a finish. So every day is like it, cause you're making choices every day. Every second. I mean, just driving your car. Right. And it just spiders. I just shatters like glasses.
01:17:42
Speaker
So those times when you've been driving in the woods and you have this force that wants to just have you stop and just walk into the woods, that's probably a choice made by one of your alternate dimensions. Maybe. You're really interested in that feeling. Yeah, because I don't ever feel that. For a guy that loves nature and wants to be out in the woods shooting people, you'd be surprised you don't.
01:18:10
Speaker
Yeah, but you have a weird, it's like really weird with you. Like you have a longing, a feeling of like a belonging. I don't know. You've been on top of buildings thinking like where you just want to fall over. Uh, yeah, that freaks me out a little bit. That might just be a feeling of vertigo. I've experienced vertigo and never, and it was never like that.
01:18:34
Speaker
Like I think I'm like, don't do this. So my body's thinking like, whoa, would it be like to crawl over the edge of that fucking rail? Yeah. Am I some demons? You want me to bring him back? No. Um, what about, no, what I'm just saying is I never have like just walked or driven anywhere and looked into the woods or the ocean and said, what if I just go out there and just keep going?
01:19:05
Speaker
No, no. I don't want to walk into the ocean. That'd be weird. Just walk until I drown. Well, obviously you would try to swim. You wouldn't just want to be on something. I'd want to be on some sort of vessel for that. Oh, you've done that before. What does that mean? Cruise ships. Yeah, I know. But I'm saying if I looked at the ocean like I really want to be out there, I'd have to be on something for sure. Have you ever done that? Got on a boat, looked out in the ocean and was drawn to it.
01:19:34
Speaker
Not as much as the forest. Yeah. You were a forest creature at some point. Maybe that's probably a monkey of some sort. Yeah. I don't know what it is, man. It just seems interesting. It's a weird, it's a weird calling. I picture you as an owl, a wise owl. Yeah. Just fucking asking people who say something like who, like no, you know who,
01:20:03
Speaker
I just be wise and breaking my neck and looking at mice. You, you're a people watcher. So that makes sense. That's legit. That's legit being an owl wouldn't be very cool. Why not? Owls are dope. That's cool. It's like a fog, a strong animal. Owls are pretty dope. Okay. In my opinion, dude, there was a,
01:20:30
Speaker
I get kind of blown away thinking of how many animals we don't see. And just because we don't see them, we don't think they don't exist. So they're there. You mean like bears? Any animal. There's a lot of animals you don't see. Think of all the fucking deer that are in the trees or whatever. And you just don't see them. Yeah. Deers, groundhogs are under your feet and you don't even know it.
01:20:54
Speaker
I feel like I'd know that, but you mean like in the ground? Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, it's odd where that's where I struggle with the belief of stuff because I can't see those and they exist. There might be other things. Well, yeah, like we're now we're talking like Bigfoot and shit. Anything. Well, what's anything?
01:21:22
Speaker
entity, spirit, God. Oh, okay. Yeah. I mean, there's, there's living creatures all over us as we speak and you can't see him. That's true too. So, I mean, you ever had crabs? I have not. Okay. Lice? Yes. Yeah. Same thing. Kinda.
01:21:46
Speaker
You know they're there though. Cause your head itches. Yeah. Uh, I was listening to a thing recently too, where I want to try to get more sun on my body.
Health, Sun Exposure, and Apocalypse Jokes
01:21:57
Speaker
Oh, are you going to do the butthole thing? I don't think I'm going to do that. Sun your, sun your asshole. No, probably won't do that. That's healthy. Yeah. Do you get an asshole with sunburn?
01:22:11
Speaker
Well, you don't do it for an hour. You just do it for like 10 minutes or so. Once I spread that thing open to the sunlight, I'm going to want to stay. Do you think chicks do that just so they don't have tan lines in their butt crack? Possibly. They probably do more in that and more in like tanning beds or those things. Do you think they spread their cheeks?
01:22:33
Speaker
I think they sit in a certain way, like where they put one cheek and slide over and let the other one flop down. I love tan lines. Yeah, I don't. I like no tan lines. I like tan lines. Yeah.
01:22:53
Speaker
Well, you like to see the, the Virgin skin, uh, mixed with the leather skin. Yeah. It actually shows you, it traces out where only special people can see. That's true. All right. Well, we ran this one into the dirt and pretty close, pretty close, pretty close. Um, thank you for bringing an interesting topic. I pray you survive and I hope you and your family do well.
01:23:22
Speaker
Oh yeah, we're, we're dead. Any apocalypse, we're both dead. Pretty sure. I don't have living on the landscape. I don't know. I kind of get in with the right people, so I might live. Maybe. Yeah. I have that luck. Oh yeah. You're very likable. Not likable luck. I have that luck. Yeah, sure enough.
01:23:50
Speaker
Well, until next time. Until next time, my friend. Ride the ball. Ride the ball.