Transcript
Speaker: Hello and welcome to episode 16. Hello there. Of the Two Guys One Screen podcast. My name is Nick. And I'm Gerald. And today we are reviewing for you a a classic, a cult classic. Cult classic turned modern masterpiece. Masterpiece? You'll find out. Trick or treat, which was released in the year of our Lord 2007.
Speaker: We are a 2007 podcast in case you guys forgot me We are nothing but 2007 people I think that was like the best time dude 2007 what happened? I can't remember it oh CTE oh um No physical media ah This week as we are pre recording a bunch of these episodes to get them in Yeah yeah um
Speaker: i'll i'll now feature our newest button
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Speaker: the did you hear the little suck i gotta cut that maybe um leave it in out don't now but Follow us on Instagram to guys one screen pod send any comments concerns request to two guys one screen pod at gmail dot .com and follow us on letterbox links are in the description like our clips on Instagram please or our clips. Hey, yo also want so want to say a very special hello to
Speaker: I almost said really polioly I couldn't get it out ah Jake what's up, dude, you motherfucker. I don't have it hello motherfucker hey ha how you done We add that button just for you buddy just for you Alright, let's get into the the cast here. This is gonna be off the rails 2007 trick -or -treat by Michael Daugherty. Movie's only 82 minutes long, real quick. Brian Cox plays Mr. Creed. He's been in fucking everything. He's in so many movies. Quinn Lord plays Sam. Anna Paquin plays Lori.
Speaker: Dylan Baker plays Steven Wilkins. Shout out, Spider -Man 2. Yeah, he's the, I think he's in both. He's the professor, right? Yeah, he's ah Dr. Connors. Dr. Connors. Leslie Bibb plays Emma. Get a Bibb when I skeet on your face.
Speaker: Oh god. Timo. Penicate plays Henry. I'm sorry about your name. Rochelle. Eights. Eights. Eights. Uh. Uh. Plays. Maria. Uh. Britt. Makila. Plays Macy. Monica. Delane. Plays Janet. Lauren Lee Smith. Plays Danielle. Brett Kelly. Plays Charlie. You tubby fat fuck. Brett. Jean Luck. Biludo. Plays Schrader.
Speaker: Uh, Alberto Gisi plays chip James Wilson shout out James Wilson. If you're listening, you're probably not plays Alex. And, uh, I think that's all we're going to shout out. Anybody else you want to shout out? No. Nope. Okay. All right. Um, I think I showed us on another podcast. My first time watching this movie, I did a double feature of this and Krampus.
Speaker: Which, by the way, did you know that this guy also directed Krampus? I did. It means the holiday a of horror icon. It means a whore. Do you remember your first time watching this movie or no? No. No shot. No, I think it was like Netflix 2012 probably, around there.
Speaker: Alright, I guess we'll get into the review. ive I love this movie. I think you love this movie too. Who doesn't? um I've just grown to appreciate it more and more over the years. We do not have our Arrow ah release yet because it's only September 30th when we're recording this. So hopefully by the time you're listening, we have it. I'm looking forward to that. I have the Blu -ray steel on my wall. Me too.
Speaker: um All right, so the movie opens with a black and white pretty old video ah talking about trick -or -treat safety. However, ah the rules it lays out in this video, I do not believe are all the rules to Halloween or the rules that our friend Sam plays by. um But essentially they're like always stay on the sidewalk, never go to a stranger's house,
Speaker: Uh, and never go out alone. Oh, we cut to a person. You just see feet, uh, pulling a wagon. Nice feet what a and get eight with with with a, with a lantern, uh, pulling a land of a wagon with a lantern, almost get run over by a car. Uh, and then we follow like a Serbian film or fuck them. Like, screw you. Bofa.
Speaker: Both of these nuts. ah We cut to a ah couple. They're finishing out their night. Emma and Henry, they're walking home and they're being watched. There's a like a POV. Of a stalker of sorts watching them. um Emma goes to put out their jack -o -lantern, which I believe is breaking the rule. Absolutely. And. Keep them bitches lit.
Speaker: And Henry is like, hey, you should really not extinguish those. You could upset somebody or an ancient tradition. And she's like, why?
Speaker: um
Speaker: And she doesn't really give a fuck. She's like, I'm tired. And you get a POV of Sam, our friend Sam, walking over. ah And they go to like their front porch and Henry wants to fuck. He's ready to get into it. You know what I mean? He trying to get in that fucking pussy, dude.
Speaker: Yeah. And she's like, shut the fuck up, man. Get out of here. ah She don't want it. And she's like, go go inside. And then she eventually caves and she's like, yeah, go put on the tape. They watch some sexy time tapes, I guess. I've never done that. Tried to watch porn while fucking. I've watched porn with with a female. I don't think we fucked while I was on. We definitely fucked afterwards. OK. Got a little.
Speaker: ideas. It's very, very, this is not movie related at all, but it's very, very intimate to show anybody what kind of porn you're into. That's very true. Especially like this is my favorite porn star or whatever. It's very revealing. It's more revealing than being naked. Yeah. I could see how that is. Like here's my, uh, you know, this is my main, main bitch. Yeah. My Mandingo party fetish, you know?
Speaker: so me um
Speaker: so So he goes inside and Emma mu mutters under her breath like I fucking hate Halloween, which we already talked about this top three holiday. Sure. Absolutely. We cut to Henry inside and he's putting in a tape like a VHS that's called the nature special. Whoa. How you doing?
Speaker: um and Emma that size she's taking down these ghosts essentially they've made like a cross like a bunch of cross with two by fours and then put a white sheet over it pause it's a big pause it's a ghost not KKK affiliation okay okay not um ah And she notices a guy across the street wearing a white mask and he's staring at her and it just goes on a little too long. and She's a little skeeved out.
Speaker: Uh, but eventually he gets picked up by his friends and he's like, what took you guys so long? Um, and, uh, she pulls some sheets off these posts they've built and every time. It's like, Oh, is someone going to be underneath there? No. Uh, now I don't really know if you caught what happened here. I rewound the tape to tape the disc to see, but she put, she throws the sheets down, like into a basket and they come back up. Was Sam in there? Yeah. Okay.
Speaker: Um, they show Henry and he's strapped himself to the bed. They're into some kinky stuff. Hello. Uh, and they're, the nature special is just porn. Uh, and he kind of wakes up for a minute and goes back to bed.
Speaker: And then we watch Emma Get like tackled and assaulted but you see the sheets covering her and the assailant aka Sam um and then We see the iconic I would say iconic lollipop Very iconic ah that's been bitten. So it's like jagged ah And
Speaker: Literally, she gets murdered like on the sidewalk in front of children and then she just turns red because she got stabbed her throat slit whatever happened I would come back to Henry who's waking up and he comes and he's like Emma and he's looking He's looking for Emma and he comes out into the yard he sees like some some limbs still hanging from the tree and then there's like a gut one of those Crucifixure things with the ghosts on it lights up behind him And he sees Emma's been literally crucified like Jesus Christ, right? Emma is Jesus Christ Literally, she died for his sins. He was watching porn. That's a c sin. I'm pretty sure I'm not really just ah it's not real yeah been crucified and she had that that fucking lolly just in her mouth Right jammed in there and it's know what that mouth do
Speaker: Yeah, he does. Yeah, he does. And then the credits roll. And this is some of the coolest credits, I think, ever. Like the comic book vibe. and iss on Like Creepshow. Yes, like Creepshow. But I think I like this more than Creepshow. So the credits also explain a little bit of like the rules. And they set up all the characters that we're going to meet. We didn't say this at the top. But if you're not familiar, this is an anthology.
Speaker: Correct. So we follow four stories. And my problem with anthologies is I don't think a lot of them connect. And this one really connects and it kind of hits by the end. You're like, oh, it all comes together. Makes sense. Yeah. Everybody is doing their own shit. And then everybody come together. OK.
Speaker: um So ah the whole movie takes place in Warren Valley, Ohio. Uh, and we see someone dragging a, uh, wet bag down the street. We're following this bag being dragged and there's a couple more. oh Breaking news. De Kimbe Matumbo basketball Hall of Famer and NBA global ambassador dies at age 58.
Speaker: RIP RIP when you guys hear this he would have died like three weeks ago, but RIP. Damn I'm sorry. Where'd you see that? It just popped up in my bottom left hand corner of my computer RIP to a goat true um Also, we should we didn't say it RIP professor McGonagall. Oh, yeah big sadness man. man That was fucking sad as shit Yeah, dude a year apart to the day her and Dumbledore. Oh the day. That's some freaky shit, dude. Yeah, man. I don't like that. Nah. RIP, obviously a legend. we we want to do We were discussing doing a Harry Potter something for the podcast. ah Let us know what you guys think. i I think we should just do week by week. You guys tell us what you think.
Speaker: And i I think we should do every other week so you guys don't get burnt out. Harry Potter's too good to get burnt out. But let us know. Please.
Speaker: um So we also see this fat chubby kid, and he's just knocking over fucking pumpkins. Fucking big head, man. This is Charlie.
Speaker: Um not the chocolate factory Although he probably is the chocolate factory because of how fat he is. Although my chocolate factory is open for you Okay me ah ratwell So It says in comic book type, like earlier, and it's the Halloween fair. And we follow some girls who are, well, pause. There are some girls changing. I've wrote, we I said we follow some girls who are changing is a big pause. Oh, there are these girls that are changing in a costume store. By the way, who's buying a costume on Halloween?
Speaker: yeah that never made sense to me like the stores are gonna be like fucking swarmed and like sold out empty yeah yeah those those same people probably put up their Christmas tree on Christmas Eve that's kind of wild to me too fucking dickhead okay how long do you leave your Christmas shit up after Christmas um usually after New Year's. That's see that's reasonable. Yeah. Like around my birthday sometime. Right. Okay. So these girls are changing and their theme I believe is like princesses this year. Princesses. And this one girl is complaining that her tits are popping out and the other girl has like lots to point.
Speaker: um And there's a little kid who's trying to sneak a peek shot to this kid he gets it he gets it yo He's like seven, but here he knows what he's into. He knows what he likes and hey like what you like um All the girls come out and this one girl Laurie who is Tends to be the main character of this little group of the story won't come out and she's embarrassed But like come on. It's tradition and she comes out and she's dressed as Little Red Riding Hood. She's a hottie. Yeah, so we have Little Red Riding Hood, Little Bo Peep, Snow White, and Cinderella. Cinderella, the character's name is Danielle, and I believe her and Laurie are sisters, like actually related.
Speaker: um
Speaker: They go to the checkout and the cashier, I i didn't remember this from Watching it, but he goes is 233 34 D Like this he says d and right yeah he says D at the end like tits so here my my thing was like $233 just for your one fucking costume, but no she pays for everybody. Yeah for all four Yeah, I was a little concerned for her and then Danielle invites this cashier Cinderella invites this cashier to the ah To a party they're going to
Speaker: We cut to this kid who he's got chocolate all over his face. This is Charlie. He's smashing every pumpkin he sees. ah He gets to a house where there's no one home. Lights are all off. and There's a note left saying take one. and He just takes a handful of them. Every time someone puts a sign that says take one, you know, some little fucks going to take all of them. What's the worst thing you ever got trick or treating? Toothbrush.
Speaker: You got a toothbrush? Yeah. Damn, I thought an apple was bad. A fucking toothbrush? Toothbrush. Bro, I got a, there was one year when I was like really little, I got a whole box of cereal. It was like frost, it was like frosted flakes though. A full size box? Yeah. That's kind of good though. That's thats what I'm saying, I was hyped. Yeah. I was like, this doesn't fit in my bag, ma 'am, sir. but Those people in the wall.
Speaker: a priest oh me um is that our transition okay the kid okay he's like with some weird habits I think um but I did get a box of frosted flakes when you I'll never forget that that was fucking crazy I used to like those people that gave out the pretzels that were shaped like ghosts and bats sure what's the worst Halloween candy to get go dots yeah I actually agree with that Dots are milk duds. One of those two, yeah. Those fuck fucking suck. I hate those shits. If you're giving me dots, I'm gonna fucking blow up your house. Like that's, you know. Are you? do it No. No, but don't threaten me. You know what I've come around on that I really like now and I didn't like? What have you come around to? Hershey chocolate bar with almonds in it.
Speaker: I really was not a fan, and now I really enjoy it. Hershey is probably the worst chocolate.
Speaker: What? You heard me. So what's your best? Oh, like Ghirardelli. OK. I mean, but how the typical household's not giving out Ghirardelli's for? I'm saying they should. treat they show Also, can we just clarify here?
Speaker: Ghirardelli, do they have a... Are you buying just a straight chocolate Ghirardelli? You're buying the filled ones, right? All of them. I don't think... What? I can't... It's kind of a hot take. You like them more than lint truffles? Those are ass. Oh, you're so wrong on that. Nah, dude. You could not be more wrong than on that. No, I'm telling you. Triffles are great. Not the forever brochure. Those suck dick. I hate those. And the gold wrapping paper, those are terrible.
Speaker: The red johns. The little red balls. Right. They're mid. They're mid. And you think Hershey's is worse than that? Yeah, her. No, okay. So Hershey just tastes artificial. Like it. It like burn ah burns. burns. What? It burns. No way. It burns. How much are you eating at a time? You know, a couple.
Speaker: i don'tly I have to look this up now because you're really derailing me. Ghirardelli chocolate. You're saying you when you buy Ghirardelli, you're only getting the fucking plain chocolate? You're not getting like the caramel squares? No, I'm getting all of them, dude. What do you mean getting all of them? You're buying a variety pack? No, I'm saying it depends on the day.
Speaker: Like I'll get the normal dark chocolate johns, or for ah Christmas you get the peppermint ones, you can get the caramel filled ones. Caramel filled one is the best cure a daily pot period. Well, yeah. I don't think it's fair to compare something with a filling in it to Hershey's, which is straight chocolate, straight bar. It's not good chocolate though. Straight fudge factory. It's not good chocolate. Okay, so what about like, ah well, you don't like peanut butter, nevermind, I can't even bring that up.
Speaker: So where you at with like a Hershey kiss? It's just a fucking Hershey bar, but in a little... Oh my god. What about KitKats? Oh, I fucking love KitKats. That's the same chocolate! No, it's not. How is it not? The fuck you it is not. How is it not? Is it made by Hershey? um No. It's not. No.
Speaker: Isn't it Mars? KitKat is non -American creation. a British company now owned by Nestle. In the United States, KitKat is made by HB Reiss, which is a division of Hershey. So eat my cock and balls. A division. They don't use the same chocolate, I promise you. are they no Do you work for Hershey? It tastes way different. ah You're full of shit. No. You're sick. Kick rocks. Gertrude Hawk is better than Hershey. I think isn't Gertrude kind of specific to where we live?
Speaker: Are they all over? You can buy them on well on the website. on that but Yeah, but did someone in fucking Wyoming know? They fucking should. ah you You heard them? Gertrude Hawk is great. I love their shit. I'm not saying they're not. GertrudeHawkChalklets .com. Are we fucking a free... We're giving free advertising? Yeah, because it's way better than Hershey.
Speaker: right I'm not arguing that. It is way better than Hershey. I agree with you. But if we're talking about candy or chocolate, you can get while you're trick -or -treating. We're not fucking trick -or -treating in the goddamn Hamptons, dude. We're trick -or -treating in fucking Poughkeepsie. We were. We're too old now. We were. um remember that Remember that year we were too old? And we still went? Yeah. Embarrassing. Anyways, right under the podcast, tell us your favorite chocolate or don't.
Speaker: I don't really give a fuck because it's probably gonna be Hershey. not No, I'm not saying Hershey's is the best chocolate out there. I'm not saying that. I'm saying as far as trick -or -treating is concerned. You're not getting a Gertrude Hawk or a Ghirardelli if you go trick -or -treating. You know what? Just for that, when I get a house, I'm gonna give out Ghirardelli. Ghirardelli.
Speaker: I love Ghirardelli, I'm not saying, it's it's way better than Hershey, 100%. I'm right there with you. I'm just saying Hershey's Bottom Barrel, end of story. All right. All right. I don't know where the fuck we were anymore.
Speaker: ah Oh, this fat fuck taking all the candy, that's right. um You hear a voice, and it's Steven, AKA Principal Wilkins, who says, that can't be good for your diabetes.
Speaker: which this kid definitely has diabetes. Yeah, just fucking roasting the fuck out of this kid. I don't have diabetes, even though I'm fat, just so you all know. Right. ah He offers for Charlie to stay, and he's like, yes, sit down. and He makes him sit down. ah We cut back to the princesses, and Danielle and the girls are calling out Lori on being a virgin.
Speaker: And they're like, yeah, just be yourself. And she's like, I want it to be special. you know I want it to be important. I think the twist of like what actually happens at the end of this movie is actually pretty good. Because they make it sound like she's never had sex the whole time. And you find out. The other two girls, their names are Maria and Jeanette. Yeah, I got their names. And they're hitting on these news guys who were filming the parade. ah We cut back to Steven and Charlie on the porch, I guess, of Charlie's house, or of Steven's house.
Speaker: And he's got a knife to carve pumpkins. And he starts carving one like right in front of him, and he's all fucking weird about it. But Stephen's talking about Halloween and how it's about respecting the dead. And these are traditions that were started to protect us. ah But nowadays, no one really cares. Right. Fuck him. Charlie's eating a candy bar of some kind that's not. It's like a made up candy bar, I'm pretty sure. It better be a fucking Nestle Crunch to tell you that.
Speaker: You like Nestle Crunch? Fuck yeah dude. It's literally Hershey's! No it's not! Yes it is! It's Nestle! Oh my god! Eat dicks! Get off this podcast! Get off this podcast! I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. It's different. You're a fucking liar and you're a stoundrel. You're a fucking stoundrel. It tastes different. Take fucking... Take fucking Crunch bars and fucking... Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. No, man, you're wrong shit. No shit. Oh my god. It's different. I will not take this You like crunch bars? I do. That's also a L for you, man. Sorry. Really? You don't like peanut butter You don't like the best the best fucking chocolate candy out there. You don't like Reese's Nah, Reese's could get thrown in the trash. I hope they fucking flame you for that
Speaker: I hope, I hope our 15 listeners won't check you for that. You probably will. And you know what? I stand by my statements. I'm sick of this. So Fatty's choking on a candy bar and Steven, funnily enough, offers, he's like, you want a root beer?
Speaker: it's just ah One thing we can agree on is that A and &W is the best root beer, right? Yeah, I love that. okay It's fuck barks or mug. Mug ass bitch.
Speaker: Oh, then Steven tells him there's a very, it's a very important tradition to check your candy. And Charlie throws up like a ridiculous amount of like chocolate goo. Chocolate goo is the best word to describe it. It is. It's like thick. So he passed a Latina's ass.
Speaker: Okay. Uh,
Speaker: And then Steven pops a lollipop in his mouth. He looks around. He starts dragging Charlie into his house. And once he gets inside, by the way, Charlie's this fucking fat, fat, fat, piggy fat kid. So he's like <unk> like really heavy. And he's like literally dragging him into his house. And these kids, trigger triggers, knock on his door. When he opens the door, he's like covered in blood. And the kid screams.
Speaker: The kids scream, and he also screams like, no, no, no, there's nothing wrong, because he's fucking guilty. They're like, oh, nice costume. And they ask for his jack -o -lantern. Nice cock. They're like, they're not going to smash it, are you? And he's like, they're like, no. And the last kid to grab candy happens to be our friend Sam, who, if you don't know what Sam looks like, I mean, do you live under a rock? He's a burlap sack with a burlap sack head.
Speaker: um
Speaker: We cut back to the princesses and Danielle and the girls are leaving with the news guys and Lori's gonna stay and try to find someone um We cut back to Wilkins house and you see he has a whole setup to like be poisoning candy and Gay's a fuckin' piece of shit. Yeah. um You think he's a pedophile? I don't think he's a fuckin' kid. I think he just likes killin' him. Killin' kids, huh? I think he likes killin' kids. I think that's that's his game. Yeah. That's still not good. Right. He definitely gets off to it, though. He grabs a saw out of the cabinet and uncovers a yeah ah grave with a ah ah body already in it.
Speaker: Uh, and then we meet his, his son, Billy, arguably top tier, most annoying characters of all time. Oh, I like him. You do? This whole scene is great. That's just proving one more you have poor taste. Um.
Speaker: Podcast cancelled. All right. Fuck you. It's too soon. I got some subscriptions to pay off before we cancel the podcast. ah ah Billy's home and he's yelling out his window to his father.
Speaker: Um, and Steven or Wilkins, uh, tells him to go watch Charlie Brown and the kid says Charlie Brown's an asshole. I mean, is he wrong? Not really. That other bitch that pulls the football off from his feet's an asshole. Oh, Sally. Yeah. Fuck her. Fuck that bitch. Uh, Billy runs off and Wilkins starts to bury this body.
Speaker: and the neighbor's dog is like sticking his head underneath the fence and barking at him. So Wilkins gives him a finger from one of these little, this little kid he has buried in his backyard. And we see the neighbor come out whose name is Mr. Krieg, what a name. And he calls out for his dog, is the dog's name Spike or Spike? I think it's Spike. Because all the captions had Spike, but it sounds like he's saying Spike.
Speaker: Let's go with Spike, because that's a normal dog name. Yeah, that's true. um He's yelling for Spike, and ah wil Wilkins is trying to hide the body, and it starts kicking him.
Speaker: Uh, and you hear Krieg yell who's out there, uh, and Wilkins like, yeah, it's just me. And we see Wilkins look through a little peephole in like the fence and he's like, what are you doing hiding bodies? ha Yeah, definitely.
Speaker: And Wilkins tells him the septic's bad. ah You can see him kicking this fucking kid. And then we watch Creed go back inside with Spike. And Wilkins yells, happy Halloween. And he goes, and Creed goes, screw you. And he just goes inside. ah We watch Steve about to get out of the shallow grave he's dug. And this kid grabs him. And he's about to decapitate the kid with his with a shovel.
Speaker: like ah
Speaker: Is that fucking we reviewed? Reanimator. Yup. Um, yup. Yup. Then we hear Billy yell for him and he's like, I want to carve a jack -o -lantern and he always needs help with the eyes and he wants to go to this parade. And Steven's like, you can't go to the fucking parade. Uh, Billy goes back and back in and we see him. We see Steven smack this kid with a shovel and, uh, he buries them and plants a tree. We love movies that kill kids.
Speaker: um about uh i guess love is ah the right word yeah sure movies need to kill kids all right more and movies need to kill kids yeah um or more directors need to have the balls to kill kids i would say i would say more movies need to have consequence and not just all be happy endings, even in horror movies. I agree with that. Yeah. Which is why I like like ah like inside so much or funny games. Right. There's no happy endings. Right. It should. I mean, the movie should make you feel shitty to me.
Speaker: um Killing kids, I don't really know. I'm kind of indifferent on killing kids or not killing kids. Do whatever you want. Steve goes inside and his little piece of shit kid, Billy, scares the shit out of him. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I missed the part. Cut that. When he's he's standing outside and Billy goes away, he he's like mocking his kid like, daddy, I want to go to the the parade. Daddy, I wish mommy was alive. That was crazy. Yeah. Like what the fuck, dude?
Speaker: Maybe he killed his wife. I believe it. Right? She's probably buried in the backyard. Somewhere, that yeah, underneath a different tree. Right. ah He sees, he goes up to his porch and goes to go inside and he sees Krieg banging on the window next door. We don't know what for. He's like, yeah, screw you. And he just goes inside. He comes inside and he's calling for his son. And Billy scares the shit out of him.
Speaker: um And we hear a lady screaming in the background, guessing this is just just the TV. Yeah. um And they go into this basement ah to carve jack -o -lanterns, and Billy needs help with the eyes. And he goes to this table, and Wilkin comes behind him, and he pulls his knife out. And it's like he's going to stab him, but he ah he doesn't.
Speaker: um And he ends up stabbing the head of Charlie charlie Charlie's been decapitated ah This next so we cut from there to the trick -or -treaters who ah asked to borrow Wilkins Jack Lantern, and they're at Miss Henderson's house. And she's dressed like a cat or slutty, I guess. Yeah, she's she a little slut. And she offers them a drink, like an alcoholic beverage. Yeah, she's clearly drunk already. And there's a
Speaker: There's a sausage party vibe going on inside. They're like all dressed as like foods. Oh, yeah. Hot dogs fucking a pig. Yeah. um And there's this little chubby kid. ah Chip or clip or fuck his name is he lifts his eye patch up. He's dressed as a pirate to like it. I hope it's clip. I think it's chip. It bothers me, by the way, that they don't tell you his name to like the last like fucking act of the movie. Right.
Speaker: ah We follow kids leaving and that ship is like coach Taylor's butt -fucking it is but whatever the fuck he says ah And then we meet Schrader who was a I think he's like probably two or three grades older than them and he's pushing a shopping cart with three pumpkins inside of it and They need more. It's not enough And they come across a house with tons of jack -o'-lanterns and I cannot believe ah the the line of dialogue that comes out here. the So this girl comes out of the house and Chip goes, is that Rhonda the retard? Which is on seven different time.
Speaker: Uh, by the way, there's a, I forgot to write it down, but there's a. Deleted scene in the Blu -ray that has, it's like this scene expanded and it's like talking about the difference between like retards and chimps. It's like really bad. It's like, it's good. You guys cut this. They probably made the bed best decision they could possibly make. This is Warner brothers too. Yeah.
Speaker: I believe the girl's name is Macy, ah says that Rhonda's an idiot savant. And she kind of looks at you like Q's traitor to talk to her. So she leaves with Chip and this other girl, and traitor's talking to Rhonda. He's like, oh, I like your jack -o'-lanterns. You make these yourself. They introduce each other. And we cut back to the parade. And there's this couple just going at it, like making out.
Speaker: Thanks for that you got it um this dude w trying to fuck but she this girl is like now let's getting our drink but he's like sucking on her neck like literally sucking on her neck ah and you start see blood trickle out from her neck She runs out into the street and actually bumps into Emma and Henry and begs for help. But Henry's like, she's just drunk, babe. Don't worry about her. And she turns around, the vampire kind of see finishes her off. And he props her up like against the store and walks away. like She's just like some just like drunk girl that partied too hard and passed out in the street. You know what he reminds me of? Like what he looks like?
Speaker: Go. In the 2002 live action Scooby -Doo, like the first one, he looks like the luchador that Daphne fights. I don't remember, but I'm going to say yes. We cut to the kids and, uh, Rhonda's talking with Chip about the traditions of Halloween, all Halloween that movie sucks. Um, and Leony.
Speaker: yeah Shout out to him, but movies asked and they arrived at a Rock quarry and kind of the ringleader this group Macy who I mentioned before says they're there to pay their respects to the dead One of her friends that has like braces, but like plus the bar that goes like around her fucking whole head. That's yes What do they do those for? Do you know?
Speaker: No braces. I've had braces, but I didn't have to have that whole fucking John. I had a lot of the work. Oh, they worked, but I lost my retainer. Actually, my dog RIP ate my retainer and now I have a gap in my teeth like Michael Strahan. So in case you're wondering for the face reveal, I'm pretty sure everybody listens knows who we are, but that's true. It's out on the Internet now.
Speaker: I have no idea what the big bar is for. I'm, I don't know. So, uh, Sarah calls, called it the Halloween school bus massacre, which you make a movie called that and then make it give Freddy Krueger a cameo. So there's a flashback story of basically a ah bus picking up. We can, can we just say they're special needs kids? 100 % they are.
Speaker: Okay. Uh, but Macy tells the stories that they're troubled and disturbed and she calls them their parents dirty secrets. That's fucked, which is fucking wild to say in a movie. So these, these special needs kids are driving. And the way Macy tells the story is that the parents offered, uh, well made an offer to the driver to basically kill their kids for them.
Speaker: But there's just one kid that's dressed like in a Dracula mask thing, who is a little bit anal about counting the door numbers and making sure the bus is going on the correct route, and notices are going the wrong way. We should also mention they're all chained into the bus. Yeah, it's really fucked up shit. They pull up those the rock quarry, essentially, and Dracula's freaking the fuck out. ah But the bus driver gets up and he's giving out candy, and he escapes.
Speaker: And he runs to the driver's seat. And he's like, we have to go home. And he drives the bus into the rock quarry, which has water at this point. A lot of water.
Speaker: ah But apparently, we see the mass float to the top. And I guess the driver escaped because they never found his body. ah And that's basically the story. And Sarah tells Macy she's full of shit.
Speaker: um And the plan is there's eight souls that died, so we're going to drop off eight lanter and lanterns ah by the lake. But to get by this lake, they got to take a service shaft down.
Speaker: and And Macy is like really in the Schrader, but he's not really talking to her because she's kind of a bitch. He probably has shaft hair. I have shaft hair. I know.
Speaker: We should have AA meetings about having shaft hair. Hello, my name is Nick and I have shaft hair.
Speaker: Oh, man. And then the whole group will just be like, OK. They'll be like, I don't give a fuck. So they go to get in this shaft, shaft, and they can only fit three. So Macy, Sarah and Trader go down and they leave Rhonda and Chip at the top.
Speaker: We come back to Lori who's walking in the street looking for a man's she can't find anybody She sits on a on a bench and gets a call from her sister Danielle Saying there's a guy that wants to meet her and Lori's like is she young and they show you the guy and it's like a fucking full -grown man dressed up as a Baby. Yeah, that's really gross. and She's like, yeah, sure And then watching the phone she makes eye contact with the vampire from earlier um When they hang up the cashier, it's like trying to kiss Danielle's neck. And she's like, stop it, Andrew. He's like, it's Josh. Whatever. ah We cut back to ah Rhonda and Chip, and they hear werewolves howling. and But they're not in London.
Speaker: Correct, the movie's great, really good. ah The chip calls are actually, yeah, it's bullshit, it ain't no werewolves. ah And the service shaft comes back and they go down it. ah And on their way down, the POV is like in the service shaft, and you hear Sarah and Schrader acting all sus, and they like screaming for help, and that you see the lanterns are holding disappear.
Speaker: ah So chip and Rhonda are like terrified in the base of this elevator the run is like I'm gonna go out and He don't want to go with her and she's like here take this lantern to protect you and she goes looking for Schrader Macy and Sarah And she comes across the bus the aforementioned bus So surprise surprise It really happened
Speaker: Right. I guess I never thought it didn't happen, but I've seen this movie too many times to know it didn't happen. I wonder if people who first watched it think it's bullshit. Let us know. Yeah.
Speaker: um So she finds the bus and she sees a mask floating in the water and she goes to grab it and a kid comes up and like starts chasing her and she runs into front of the chip who's getting his guts eaten. and yes His like intestines are out, out, out. And as she's running, she like kind of stumbles and she drops and crushes her glasses. Shout out Velma from Scooby Doo. My glasses. ah She falls into some water and hits her head on a rock, I thought, but maybe she didn't hit her head because she comes out of it. But you see Schrader, Sarah and Macy staying over. It was a prank.
Speaker: And they think she's dead Right the classic. Oh, no, we pranked her. They're dead type shit Have you ever seen mean Creek? I've seen Wolf Creek. Yeah, we sucks wrong ah I don't know why this reminded me of it, but mean Creek is one of Josh Peck's first movies.
Speaker: You know, Josh that he acted in. Yeah. OK. And it's basically that type shit, like where they go to prank somebody and then they accidentally kill him. I'm kind of interested in that. I'd i'd watch that. Yeah, watch it. It's called Mean Creek. Watch it. You heard him. Really good. Really good. Rhonda comes out of it and she's fucking angry as hell. And she's like, you're all dead. ah And Schrader kind of feels bad. And he's like, we got to go. And Macy's like, no, we're not fucking leaving.
Speaker: Uh And I guess they agree to go and they there's a lit lantern left and watch macy kick it into the quarry Uh, then we start hearing voices like randy orton, right shout out to randy orton, uh and Schrader and ronda hear macy sarah and chips screaming again and trays like i'll go see what it is And then you see the dead kids from the bus like they're not ghosts but like zombified bodies come up and like approaching them ah And they start running and Sarah gets snatched with a chain um And Chip Macy and Schrader
Speaker: ah make it to the Shaft, but Rhonda's in it with the door locked and they're begging her open the door and She just leaves them down there Fuck those kids fuck them kids as you should Five kids have died in this movie That's what I'm talking about. ah Three plus Tubby plus the already dead kid in the yard. That's what I'm fucking talking about. Get the kill count going. Put it up. How many kids can we kill today? ah So as the shaft goes up, you hear them all screaming. They're being murdered. And when she gets to the top, she sees Sam standing off in the distance. ah But she walks away with a red wagon and a lantern at the beginning of the movie. Wow.
Speaker: and They kind of walk by each other and nothing happens there We cut back to Lori who's walked through the woods in her red riding hood outfit obviously I'm gonna blow my house down. You know I'm saying She could pull the house down for sure dude And she hears some noises and she's like yeah, whoever it is just come out. I'm fucking sick of it And, uh, there's the vampire who appears behind her. Uh, and he like grabs her and he's like hits her with the such big eyes you have and he bites her. Uh, and then it cuts to Danielle and Maria. By the way, these girls are like at a party and it's like a bonfire, like in the woods, in the middle of the woods, but there's a lot of people there. I'd say, yeah, it's like women. Right. And they're talking about how Lori was like the runt of like their
Speaker: group uh and then they hear lori scream uh and a random and the body falls like out of nowhere and it looks like it's lori because it's wearing the red riding hood like gown cat what is it cape cape cloak uh They go to investigate, but Lori appears and she's fine. Maria, who's one of like the girls in the group, tells this mysterious person to say, ah, it's the vampire. She pulls his little fake teeth out, which might be pretty sharp if he's fucking puncturing skin.
Speaker: Right. and They're like handmade or something. And she pulls his like little mask off, and it's Principal Wilkins! Principal Wilkins is the vampire, guys. Little freak. Fucking surprised. I remember I was really fucking shook the first time I saw this movie. Yeah, me too. I actually forgot he was the vampire. That's when I watched it the other day. I was like, wow. So not only does he kill kids, but he also creeps on women. Yes, but they're of age.
Speaker: He doesn't make it right. He's he's assaulting them. That's true And he's like who the fuck are you people And then it's revealed around the fires a bunch of dead like dudes Um, and Stephen's femur is broken. He's he's like bone snapped out of his fucking leg. Yeah ah And Laurie's talking to the girl about how nervous she is and she squigs some beer And she tells Steven it's her first time. She takes his clothes off. Well, at least his shirt off. And all the girls start stripping. And then here's the next big reveal. They're all werewolves. Whoa. Werewolves aren't real. And the transformation's fine. Animatronic werewolf here as well. I i agree. Yeah, the one that came next to them. mu She was on top of that dude.
Speaker: ah As far as a werewolf transformation scenes we know who the best one is and there's only there's only one answer and It's American world from London. and It's not really great. It's not really close. I mean the only two that are even good or American werewolf in London is a hundred percent number one And probably two is the howling I haven't seen the howling It's good Skit it there also wasn't a movie that I thought was Oh, I think it was the Wolfman remake. I think they actually have, and we sucks ass, but I think they actually have a decent transformation sequence in that movie. So essentially the the shot after this is they're all transforming their werewolves, killing these dudes, and you just see Sim kicking his legs on our but on a log, having a good old time watching. We cut to earlier, and there are some other different trick -or -treaters outside of Krieg's house, and they're like debating, do we go knock, do we not? They go knock.
Speaker: They hear multiple locks open. The door opens, just a dark hallway. Nothing. ah We see two eyes light up and hear some growling. And the kids run. And Krieg walks out, but it's just Spike wearing a dog costume. Pretty good fucking dog costume, if I say so myself. I agree there. ah He takes their candy.
Speaker: And then we cut him inside. He's burning some pictures. I don't know if its you can make out what the picture is if you haven't seen this movie before. But if you know what the movie is, you know what the pictures are. Yeah. And he's watching fucking paid programming for like cooking gadgets. Like who the fuck does this? Yeah. Old people. Do people actually buy from those things?
Speaker: Some people really are into it, yeah. I mean, there're fuck remember there's that store in the mall? Oh, as seen on TV. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty it must be pretty big. You know what? I can't even say anything, because now that you mention that store, my dad literally goes in there all the time. Shout out, Lenny. Shout out, Len. Has been on the mention of the pod in a minute. Shout him out, Len. How you doing? Hi, Danes. So he's just sipping a beer. He's going through all the channels, and everything's like besides the you know that paid advertising. It's all like Halloween related. He doesn't want to fucking watch it.
Speaker: And then we hear Spike barking and he goes to investigate and he sees his gate kind of swing open and then a window smashes and you hear the little child laughter noise that's kind of used in a lot of places.
Speaker: ah He goes to grab a bat and he goes outside to the backyard and we see Spike eating the finger Wilkins through him. So you're watching the same scene unfold from his point of view. It's all coming full circle.
Speaker: So same conversation we watched them have, you know, happy Halloween. Fuck you. Uh,
Speaker: He comes inside and Spike is out front barking. And he notices his yard is filled with jack laners now, which wasn't the case before when the kids went to go approach the door. Correct. Goes to smash one of them. But now Spike is inside, like at the bottom of the staircase, looking upwards, barking. And then he goes upstairs and the barking stops.
Speaker: and the light goes out. And at some point, Creed grabs a gun, he resets the circuit breaker, and he starts going upstairs. And as he's going upstairs, we see Sam run by and hear the dog yelp. Did the dog die?
Speaker: I feel like it's pretty. We don't see him again, do we? No, I'm pretty sure he kills the dog. But thank you for doing it off screen. He goes upstairs into his bedroom and he sees something moving under the blanket. And the reveal is like a skeleton hand moving. And a lantern.
Speaker: I'm like a jack -o'-lantern on a lantern, a jack -o'-lantern turns on and like ignites spontaneously and there's blood writing all on the walls and it's the trick or treat. Mm hmm. Smell my feet. That one. Give me something good to eat. Not hurt. And Sam runs by and slices the Achilles. Which looks like it fucking hurts. I'm assuming. Have you ever had my Achilles sliced? No, it could be. Of course.
Speaker: ah Sam appears on the other side of the bed, and he peels back a candy bar wrapper to reveal a blade. And Krieg turns around to grab his gun, and when he turns back to shoot, Sam is gone, and the lantern or the jack -o -lantern just blows up. ah He picks himself up, and he kind of falls down the hallway, and then he falls down the stairs because he slid on like candy.
Speaker: And he lands hands first into the glass on the floor, because I guess Sam put some glass on the floor. And he goes to lock the door, and we can see Sam over his shoulder crawling on the ceiling. This is pretty fire. I love this part. It was cool, yeah. You hear the same laughing. And then Sam just drops on top of him and starts attacking him.
Speaker: and he throws Sam into a mirror, and this is the scene where you see Krieg sees Wilkins going back into his house, and he's banging on the window to help him. Right. So it's his perspective. ah Sam gets up, starts choking him out, and while he's choking him out, Krieg pulls a sack off of Sam's head to reveal his like pumpkin skull. Right. This is fucking scary looking, dude. You think so? Yeah. You don't think it's cute?
Speaker: I mean, Sam's a little cutie, but like to someone who's never seen it before, it's, it's scary looking. Oh, okay. It it looks real. Like the CGI is not terrible there. Right. Little demonic pumpkin head. It's good. It looks good. It's what I mean. Yeah. Um.
Speaker: He kind of kicks him off, and then Sam starts biting his leg. And Krieg shoots him in the head, and he's like, pumpkin guts go flying. Yeah, that's crazy. ah And then he shoots Sam two more times, and you see these guts. And he calls 911, and he gets put on a hold. so Why is 911 putting you on hold? That happens all the time. They're like, please hold. Yeah, like, no. Yeah. ah Line disconnect, and then Sam stabs him in the foot.
Speaker: ah And he sees us same as back. and He's like you gotta be fucking kidding me. He says And he watches his hand crawl across the hallway and tap Sam On the hand reconnects and this is my problem. Okay. This is my problem with the substance This is my problem with Beetlejuice Beetlejuice the way Sam reconstructs himself in this part of the movie in 2000 fucking seven looks way better and way more realistic but yeah no i get what you're saying with the whole reconstruction like it's got to look good the pumpkin guts are like you hear the noises and you see it like trying to connect and it's not for very long but it's enough to be like all right i get what's going on here right there you should have enough budget to do it like the beetle juice beetle juice one was fucking horrible terrible
Speaker: Even the, like, Nightmare Before Christmas vibe they were going for on that is way better. And that came out when? 1999? 2000? What? Nightmare Before Christmas? Yeah. 93? 93? I'm almost positive. All right, so prove my point even more. Do fucking better. Do it. He puts himself back together. And Creed grabs a...
Speaker: a Bottle like showers to try to defend himself and Sam just breaks his arm. He's fuck you dude I'm afraid of you and he pulls the lolly out the same jack -o'-lantern vibe lolly And it looks like he's gonna stab him and he just takes the candy bar and like takes a bite and he Walks away and he like Jedi mind fucking forces the door open and leaves ah What was the point of this one What role did he break? Did he have one of Wilkins' candy bars? i thought I thought the whole thing was because he didn't have candy out.
Speaker: Yeah, but if he this is my thing. If he broke the rules, wouldn't Sam have killed him? That's true. So why did they go through all that? That's a good point. I meant to look this up before we start recording, but I thought maybe you would know.
Speaker: No. um
Speaker: Rules of Halloween. Enforce Sam, the spirit of Halloween, enforces four rules for all Hallows' Eve. Hand out offerings. Oh, I had no hand out offerings. Right. That's what I said. Wear a costume. Don't blow out jack o' lanterns before midnight and respect the dead.
Speaker: Buddy doesn't die is what I'm confused about. Like, Wilkins dies because he breaks several of the rules. Right. ah Those kids die. Because they disrespected the dead. Charlie dies because he smashed the Jack Lantern. Right.
Speaker: I mean, maybe Sam, like, cause he, he took the candy bar from him. So maybe Sam took that as he was offering it to him. Maybe you could trade your life for just give Sam some candy. Right. So when in doubt, give him candy. Give him a nice Gertrude Hawk. Give him that nice Gertrude cock. Hey, yo. Uh,
Speaker: Then it says, oh, we cut to the fireplace and it's a picture of the kids and Krieg was the bus driver. and and um That survived. That's a big reveal. ah We cut to More trick -or -treaters knocking on the door and Krieg appears in bandages. So maybe there's like a warning like, hey, fucking give kids candy. Don't scare them off. Because then he does. Gives out loads of candy. And a girl's like, nice costume. He's like, I'm actually fucked up. Yeah, and I should probably go to the hospital.
Speaker: um
Speaker: And then we see Billy watching him give out candy. ah Then Krieg sees Ronda pulling a red wagon, pass by his house and almost get run over and by the werewolf ladies who were in the car. And then we see Henry and Emma getting home. And that's like the beginning of the movie, it comes full loop back from the beginning. ah Krieg goes back inside and he hears a knock on the door and he opens the door and it's all the demon children
Speaker: ah That he murdered. Maybe they maybe they kill him Right. Maybe Sam knew that the kids were gonna come and kill him. He's like where you're gonna get your You know, you're just desserts by the kids that you killed And that's the end of the movie he screamed in the credits roll and that's it to 82 minute movie it's quick really quick I Have this star rating at a 4 I I bumped mine to a five. I don't really know. Like, what's holding it back for you? For me, it's just it's just like, I like this movie so much. And I've just become like it's just become so much a part of like, when I was growing up watching
Speaker: Halloween but like as soon as I started I watched for the first time like I'm gonna watch this every year it 100 % is like the whole vibe is just Halloween, you know, yeah, like it just it's almost I would say this is a good entry -level horror. Oh For sure for sure, right? Cuz there's nothing that the gore is not crazy or anything.
Speaker: They don't show it to you either. Right. um It's just, it's a fun movie. Like it's kind of makes you warm inside, even though people are dying. You know what I mean? Yeah, I love it. I think it's great. I but i have watched it twice on Letterboxd and rated it a four. And I was like halfway through, I was like four and a half. And then I watched the end and I was like, you know what? Fuck it, I'm going to go to five. Movie's fucking great. And Sam has become like this cultural icon, just like the other big horror villains. That's the other thing, too. in the What do you think about this? And this might open a whole fucking debate, but I don't i don't know what you think.
Speaker: Of all the horror, sequel, requel shit nobody asked for, the only character I can say with like complete certainty, I want to know more about his Sam. I agree. And, uh, it's actually, they're writing the script currently for trick or treat too. Oh, thank God. I hope it doesn't suck. I mean, same director. If it, Oh, it is. Yep. Okay, good. Cause if they don't explore more of his lore, I don't really care.
Speaker: Yeah, like Sam has to be in it. He's such an he's such an interesting character and I wanted more Right like after watching like our what's the next one I can watch and I like always not anything else, right? um That's actually kind of exciting you told me that one's acting about 2026 Probably. I mean, they're still writing the script, but it is confirmed to be in the works It's pretty exciting Yeah, so I'm out of five I we've I've had Let's see
Speaker: two, five stars and ah a four and a half that I bumped down to a four. But I mean, these this is a banger movie. yeah If you somehow have not seen this movie, go watch it. Like immediately. Yeah, this is a this is a great movie. It's a classic. Watch it for Halloween. And like, yeah, this movie when this movie came out, it didn't really get good reviews like it wasn't, you know, crazy. But now because it was an indie movie that Warner Brothers picked up. ah But Now it's, you know, a cult classic. I won't even call it a cult classic anymore. Now it's just, uh, I think Sam's transcended from cult classic to modern. Yeah. Like in the main, in the mainstream.
Speaker: 100 % you can't go into a spirit Halloween every year and not see Sam stuff if there was more of him in this movie He'd probably hire and like the horror Villain, I don't even know if he's a villain dude Whatever like horror icon like anti hero. He'd be higher up in my rankings if I had more of them 100 % No, I mean he's cute. I have a stuffed Sam on my couch right now. I can't blame you for that um But that does it for our review and again I also want to touch on the Really quick, the anthology part is, which I mentioned in the beginning, a lot of movies cannot do anthologies right. No. ah And this movie does it so right to me.
Speaker: And I just really appreciate that about this film. Every little thing connects. Everything connects, yeah. Full circle. And even like the clues are right in front of you and on our first watch to not pick it up and like, like oh shit, it right it works. um A lot better than like the ABCs of Death. Anyways, next week or not next week, Friday, um we will be reviewing the movie you all selected, The Descent. Descent Gang is strong. I'm very excited for this first time watch. You choose and you chose The Descent. I have not seen this movie in probably three years.
Speaker: I'm very excited to rewatch it. I'm excited to see how much gore is still there and still hits. I mean, it's Evil Dead 2013 levels of blood. it Is it? Yeah, it's that it's that much. Yeah. There are also two alternate endings, so I'm curious to get your take on those as well. OK, are those in the special features? I'm guessing yes, if not, they're on YouTube for sure, because I watched them on you. I the first time I watched it, I streamed it and I watched the alternates on YouTube. Do you have the blue right now?
Speaker: Yeah. OK. Make a 4K for this. Or at least a Steel Book. Just something so I can respect this fucking movie. um I'm very excited for The Descent. That is your your first time watch. It's the fan chosen one. So therefore, it should have the most views out of all of our episodes. Because you guys chose it, obviously.
Speaker: And then next Tuesday basket case my blue a belial I'm in the process of modifying a basket case poster hang up on my wall Yeah, what a frame that's too small um Anyways, it is that time plug ah Follow us on Instagram, TwoGuysOneScreenPod. Send any comments, concerns, requests to TwoGuysOneScreenPod .com and follow us on Letterboxd. Our links are in the description.
Speaker: Do all that. Watch the clips. Watch trick or treat. Watch trick or treat. We hope you're ah having an amazing horror month. Enjoying our horror month that we've done for you because we're going to do it again next year. ah Send us requests for November we still have two more slots that are open Ready to be taken right for the picking and it definitely does not have to be horror We can we will do any movie that you request that we are interested in our highest viewed episode is breaks of terabithia Right. So which is that on horror movie? Maybe we should get a hint but fuck it horror is this time of year. So
Speaker: Um, yeah, send us requests. Let us know about your candy bar tier list. That'll definitely be a clip for sure. Uh, and until Friday, we will that's a Friday again. Yeah. Until Friday, we will see you guys later. Toodles. Fuck you, Mark.
