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Alone On My Birthday By Choice
172 Plays1 year ago
Thank you so so much for being here with me. Thank you for allowing me to be myself. Here's to 26!
XOXO, Dani
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Awaken, Bake'
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to Awaken, Bake, an educational, high vibrational, mystical, spiritual pot, I'm sorry, pod cast from one girl, one joint and a journey to awaken what's inside all of us.
Birthday Reflections and Zodiac Signs
00:00:12
Speaker
In the words of the wise, Wiz Khalifa, let's roll something and get the day started. Oh, what up, sluts? That was a mouthful. OK, so forgive me for not being here on Monday. But you guys, it's my birth week. Hello, Trina Vega energy over here. Actually, I'm a Libra. I don't think that Trina's a Libra.
00:00:28
Speaker
Trina's gotta be like a Virgo or something. I love Virgos and I love Trina. Anyway, if you don't watch Victorious, that's fine. Moving along.
Turning 26 and Society's Birthday Expectations
00:00:38
Speaker
Guys, I turned 26 yesterday. Yep, I know. I look not a day over 15. I'm kidding.
00:00:45
Speaker
I was actually told recently that someone couldn't tell if I was like 25 or like 45. And that didn't that didn't make me feel good. There's nothing wrong with aging. But I don't know, man. It just felt like a bit of a jump. Anyway, I wanted to talk about my birthday revelations. You guys, I feel like there's so much pressure for birthdays. Like, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Honestly, on my birthday, I just wanted to do what I wanted to do.
00:01:13
Speaker
I didn't want to have any kind of pressure, any kind of like standard or any type of like, OK, I'm sorry, but I love a good birthday photo shoot because I like to do my hair and makeup and I like to get ready and I like to make art and do like photography like of myself. Guys, I'm self centered. I love a good self portrait. I love modeling the whole spiel.
00:01:32
Speaker
And I still wanted to do that to celebrate, but I did not want to interact with a single fucking soul. You guys, I wanted to have a solo day.
Embracing Alone Time and Self-Care
00:01:40
Speaker
And by solo, I don't mean that like I'm not around humans, but I don't want to be doing anything with anybody. You can't tag along. I don't need a friend to come with me. I just need to be by myself.
00:01:48
Speaker
I'm learning that about myself. I always grew up thinking I am this social butterfly, this extrovert who hates being alone. And there was some truth to that at that time, but it's like the more that I heal different parts of myself, the more that I realize, holy fuck, I need alone time to be stable. And with everything going on in the world, really shitty timing, okay, this is gonna sound selfish, shitty timing of this war to like break out right around the time of my birthday. But like, it just didn't feel like a very celebratory time. And energetically, I was really like,
00:02:17
Speaker
anxious and kind of drained about it. And so I just did a bunch of self care stuff. Damn, that sounds like I'm such like a selfish self centered bitch. I'm like, there's a war going on. And I'm like, how can I feel better? That's such an American thing to do. Okay, damn, it was my birthday. You guys give me a quick break. I let's not let's not cancel me today. Birthday pass one time pass. Let's go.
Birthday Activities and Insights from Massage
00:02:39
Speaker
The point is I had a solo day because all I fucking wanted to do was be by myself with my own thoughts. Not I didn't want to be in charge of like anybody else's, you know, lovingly. I don't want to be responsible for anyone else's wants or needs or well being. So I had a solo day. I started my day off with a fucking massage. I had no idea when I booked this massage that I was going to be getting into a beautiful soul connection. Dr. Chloe, if you're listening to this, you have already changed my life and we've only had one appointment, but we're scheduled for another appointment tomorrow. So I'll see you soon.
00:03:08
Speaker
Anyway, Dr. Chloe can't say enough good things about really hit all of my like target areas that I kind of knew were bothering me but didn't really realize were bothering me. She gave me so many tips and so much advice and I just felt like I learned so much. I was so relaxed. I had a great session. She's also psychic and you know me guys so am I and I love a good psychic little spiritual moment.
00:03:29
Speaker
So I got my massage. Step one, then I had to do some shopping. So I, like I said, was only doing things that I felt like doing and I wasn't doing things that I didn't feel like doing.
Retail Therapy and Class Perceptions
00:03:39
Speaker
I said no to going to the gym because it was stressing me out. It was like something that I was like, well, I have to do this. That's how I'm going to start my day. It'll be good to start my day that way. No, guys, fuck it. I went to the gym today instead because yesterday was all about me. I was dreading going to the gym. I didn't know if I was going to have time because I wanted to sleep in a little bit.
00:03:53
Speaker
didn't want to have to wake up early, but I didn't want to get to the gym and was packed. Anyway, I said fuck the gym. I got a massage said fuck the gym. I went shopping. I did a little target moment because if you know me, you know target just does it for me guys. Okay, I don't I don't need a lot. Okay, I'm not an expensive woman. I don't need Prada and Louis Vuitton.
00:04:10
Speaker
You know what universe, if you're listening, I might, I could use those things. I would appreciate those things. But something about Target, I love a good Target or a nice Walmart. So I grew up in Cincinnati and specifically the one in Price Hill that I went to, or it was like the one on the west side of Cincinnati. It happens to be like, if not the most, then it's one of the most shoplifted, stolen from Walmarts in the world.
00:04:32
Speaker
was just like stupor, not the vibe. Stuff was always like a mess and the lines took forever to check out of it didn't really have anything there that I liked anyway, so I always thought Walmart was shitty. Then I became an adult and then I moved also out of that area of Cincinnati and I went to other Walmarts and I said now wait a minute, Walmart is kind of like Target. If you don't agree with me, you're just being classist because they're literally the same thing.
00:04:57
Speaker
But a little different, obviously, like they have their own vibe going, you know what
Solo Thrifting and Personal Hobbies
00:05:01
Speaker
I mean? So anyway, I was at Target. I had a grand old fucking time. Well, I can shop at Target and I can also spend money at Target. And I did. And then I thought, OK, now I want to do some thrifting. I love thrifting by myself. I don't want anyone there because it puts pressure on me that I have to buy something and I have to find something.
00:05:16
Speaker
and i don't want to waste money on something i don't want i've always hated doing that i'm not going to buy something just to buy it now i might buy something just immediately go home and cut it up then ruin it and have to throw it away i have been known to do that and hilariously enough i bought something with the intention of coming home and cutting it up but i haven't cut it up yet so so far so good
00:05:33
Speaker
more than anything, guys, I'm going to be so fucking real with you. I wanted to just get high as fuck and not have anything to do afterward. I just wanted to get high and lay the fuck down and watch reality TV. And you know what? My favorite reality TV shows or my current ones that I'm watching right now happen to all come out on my birthday. I'm talking Kardashians and the D'Amelio show. If y'all are not watching the D'Amelio show, it's really good because it's like different than any other reality show you've probably ever seen. It's kind of realistic. It's like, oh, wait, these are just like
00:06:02
Speaker
some young ass teenage girls who are struggling with fame because famous toxic in Hollywood is toxic and it's like sad to watch them have breakdowns but it's validating at the same time if you are someone like me who's like wow even these famous gals are like really struggling with things that like I struggle with right now and it makes me feel seen because they're not having a good time and sometimes I'm not having a good time.
00:06:22
Speaker
Regardless, I just wanted to get high and watch my shows. And that's what I fucking did. And I also had some time with my puppies. Now, guys, my husband's working nights right now, so we didn't really get to spend time together, but he bought me a pole and I'm so happy and so grateful and so excited. I'm about to be the cutest, coolest, best pole dancer any of you all knew in your whole life. You heard it here first.
Spiritual Journaling and Personal Growth
00:06:44
Speaker
Here I come. So I was smoking my top shelf weed. I was watching TV. I'm excited about my pole coming.
00:06:50
Speaker
And then to really just round out the night and end it, you know me, I have to do some spiritual shit, some witchy shit, some journaling bitch. And again, this was a no pressure moment. Usually I like to have a bunch of lists and boxes and like little charts and stuff when I journal. Guys, something's wrong with me. I'm mentally ill, but I'm seeing a psychiatrist soon. So whoa, whoa. Anyway, I made a list of OK, me. I didn't make a bunch of lists and charts. I made one list, only one. So it was no expectations of having to have a bunch of different categories and shit like that.
00:07:19
Speaker
I just made one big list of characteristics that I plan to embody this year. This is my time to do like a new year's resolution. This is my new year. This is the year of 26. How do I want to walk into it? How do I want to present myself? How am I going to present myself? And you know what I realized, guys? Not the birthday blues getting me. I'm not saying that I'm old, but why the fuck is my mortality like heavy on my mind?
00:07:43
Speaker
Recently, I've just been so fucking aware of the fact that I'm going to die one day and that I'm an adult. I'm going to be so real with you. Honestly, what it is is I watch a lot of those videos that are like debunking, you know, plastic surgery. So there's this girl on YouTube, her name is Stephanie Lang, and she does these videos where she'll be like, these are the surgeries that Ariana Grande's had or that Kylie Jenner's had or Kim Kardashian or Summer Walker, just like everybody and anybody. No one is safe.
00:08:09
Speaker
But it's so fucking validating because it's like, thank you. Someone had to say it because no one's out here being fucking honest. And I'll be honest. OK, Summer Walker and Kim Kardashian, Kylie Jenner. Those were pretty obvious examples. But I feel like Ariana Grande, not that obvious. What is obvious is how she'd be kind of switching ethnicity sometimes. But she's kind of quoted on that recently. She's you know, she wants to be white now and she's accepting that she is white now. This is not hate for Ariana. This is just honesty.
00:08:36
Speaker
And anyway, I watch these videos and people really, they get this work done, but then when they age, it looks a lot different. And then I noticed like, well, when I age, I also look a little bit different. And the way that I age, you know, compared to like people in my life, because I feel like anti-aging is so big in society right now. And I'm actively trying to reprogram my mind and not give into that because aging is a privilege. It's a gift. I should be so lucky to see what I look like as an old person.
00:08:59
Speaker
I will say fuck that aged filter on TikTok. Doing me dirty as hell, making me look like I do hardcore drugs. What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't even drink coffee. Why would you do me like that? That being said, I've been thinking a whole fuck ton about my mortality and I really want to make little Danny, baby Danny, childhood Danny.
00:09:18
Speaker
Yeah the little Danny inside I want to make her happy and there was just I've always wanted to be like a certain vision for myself and I'm an adult and I remember being a kid and just wanting so badly you know I never thought I was an old soul but now I realize I am because as a kid all I wanted to do was be the age that I'm at right now or even
Setting Intentions and Expressing Gratitude
00:09:35
Speaker
a little bit older maybe like I just wanted to be grown enough where no one could tell me shit.
00:09:39
Speaker
Not my friends, not my family, definitely for sure, not my parents. And I'm fucking there and I'm able to do it. So now you know what I'm gonna do? All the shit that I want to fucking do. I'm gonna do it all. I'm gonna show up as that person because what am I waiting for? Like literally what am I waiting for? I'm hot right now. What am I waiting for?
00:09:57
Speaker
I'm really inspired to like start taking better care of myself and like really good care of myself. I feel like I'm always saying that honestly, and I think I take very, I think I consistently take good care of myself. I will say that. But I would like to come up with some very healthy habits and routines that I stick to that I'm intentional about that I do for a certain reason, not just like, yeah, I take this because I guess I'm supposed to. I take this vitamin. I do this yoga class. Like, no, I'm going to start being really intentional about what am I doing? Why am I doing it? Do I enjoy it? Is it good for me?
00:10:27
Speaker
I'm just like hyper aware that I'm gonna die one day and not unlike the fun Buddhist enlightenment way where they wake up and they contemplate death which basically is them being like I'm so grateful that I'm here and alive right now and that I have this day to do anything I want with and I should just be grateful make the most of it just be fucking present
00:10:44
Speaker
I think that's the way that I need to shift it because I've been kind of like, oh, my God, oh, my God, I'm panicking. I'm getting older. Like I have to be the person that I want to be before I die. And it's like girly, girly, girly, like calm down. That's the anxiety talking. Thank God, again, we're seeing a psychiatrist soon. But at the same time, I'm getting pretty fucking clear on the person that I want to be and who I decided that this is who I am. And it's who I've always been destined to be.
00:11:09
Speaker
This might sound like so general, like I'm like talking around the subject. I'll be real with you. I'll be so real with you. I smoked kalipa kush kush mints before recording this. That fucks me up every time it takes it's you know, it's a slow hitter. It takes a while to kick in. My point is I've been thinking a lot about my own mortality and my age and where I'm at in life and just like all of the freedom that I have and all of the privilege that I have and all of the opportunities that I have and the things to be grateful for.
00:11:36
Speaker
And I'm gonna make really dogs. I was in the middle of a beautiful moment. My dog started barking in the middle of my little sonnet, my little monologue, my little soliloquy. I just love birthday so much. And I'm such a deep thinker. And I'm such a like self centered, love myself, love birthdays ass bitch.
00:11:53
Speaker
So this one was fantastic. This was a very successful birthday. I'm so glad I spent it by myself, getting myself right physically, getting myself right mentally and emotionally, getting myself right by like engaging in only the things that I wanted to do. It was awesome. I also didn't worry about cooking or cleaning, which was so fucking nice.
00:12:11
Speaker
And now today I'm like, and it's back to reality and I have some chores to do, which I got to get to right now, y'all. So I hope you have a great rest of your day. Thank you so much for being here and listening and always being so patient and understanding with us.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:12:23
Speaker
You know, Kelsey's a new mommy. I, you know, I forget.
00:12:27
Speaker
I also, guys, I get tired. Leave me alone, okay? I feel attacked. It's supposed to be two episodes a week. I'm glad you got at least one this week. Please make sure you're subscribed to our YouTube. I have been super consistent on there. Super grateful that we are officially at, you know, over 51 countries worldwide for the podcast. So now I'm trying to really grow our YouTube channel. I am posting consistently on there once, if not multiple times a week, which also does kind of take away from the podcast. But you guys, like, again, please, I'm trying to be an entrepreneur, okay? It's a lot of stuff.
00:12:57
Speaker
I'm just joshing with you. I'm not complaining. I'm grateful for it all and I love y'all very much. If you could please tell your friends, tell your grandma, keep listening. Shout us out. Give us a good old tag on Instagram if you're listening. Go on and screenshot it right now. Yeah, take your phone. Whatever you're listening on, go ahead screenshot. See if it pops up with a little quick tool, little tool link. Oh my god.
00:13:19
Speaker
A little quick link to Instagram. Go ahead and post that to your story. Go ahead and tag Awake and Bake Podcast. If you want, you can tag at dannylizwatson or at Eliza Kelsey B. I think that's her name. Shit. This was impromptu. Okay. This is all impromptu on the spot. I got to go. Okay. Y'all stay high now. Have fun. Goodbye.