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Radical Forgiveness?
225 Plays3 years ago
TW: discussion of abuse, truama, ptsd, and eating disorders.
This is Dani's first solo epsiode, as Kelsey is experiencing some intense symptoms from pregnancy! send that bitty all the love!
Tday we discuss RADICAL forgiveness - and explore the difference between the conscious and unconscious human experience.
Inspired by Trinity's youtube video titled: radical forgiveness
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to 'Awakened Bake'
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to Awakened Bake, an educational, high vibrational, mystical, spiritual pot. I'm sorry, podcast from one girl, one joint and a journey to awaken what's inside all of us. Hey, bitches. Okay, guys, it's my first solo episode ever. It's me, Danny. I'm here without Kelsey because that bitch is pregnant as fuck. Okay. And she has this
00:00:22
Speaker
disease, this condition she was just diagnosed with, which is like an extreme form of nausea and morning sickness, where she's literally been to the ER hell of fucking times because that bitch is dehydrated as a motherfucker. So we're going to send her all the love in the world. But she can't be here today. And we have been like, not slacking on our episodes, because bitch, she is doing the best she can. But we have been missing a little bit because you know, pregnancy is a wild ride. And then also like
00:00:48
Speaker
I have a life. So if things get thrown off, like sometimes I always can't be part of
Exploring Radical Forgiveness
00:00:52
Speaker
it. Regardless, we're here today, your first solo dolo, it's Danny and here we go. I want to talk about radical forgiveness. First of all, I feel like kind of cringy saying it like that. Because if you've ever watched impact theory or women have impact, no tea, no shade. I watched them consistently. I took a break for a few years because they're definitely
00:01:11
Speaker
two very masculine channels. It's a married couple, Lisa and Tom Billy. They created the Quest Bars. I'm pretty sure they sold the company, but they are the originals. They're these awesome business people, good for them. They bring on a ton of inspiring people. They're just incredibly masculine. As someone who is exploring and diving more into
00:01:29
Speaker
my divine feminine, I found myself kind of pulling away. But Lisa Billie has written a book called radical confidence. And I was like, I kind of fucks with that. I like the radical part before it. And then I kept getting signs from source about radical forgiveness. So
00:01:45
Speaker
I was super inspired by Trinity's new episode on her YouTube channel about radical forgiveness. Like she was one of the first people who kind of like said that term on my radar. So I've had the term radical kind of in my head like radical confidence from Lisa Billie's book, which I have not read. I just know she wrote it. But then when I saw Trinity talk about, you know, radical confidence, I was like, I have to watch this. And guys, it couldn't have come at more divine timing.
Impact of Childhood Trauma
00:02:12
Speaker
This topic has been so heavy on my mind.
00:02:14
Speaker
I've been battling a lot recently with the effects of my childhood because full transparency, I realized how much I still have to heal. I do consider myself a highly evolved being. I think I've done a really great job of being self-aware and taking action and working on myself.
00:02:33
Speaker
It's still very much affecting me and I am not perfect. I'm not even I'm not even close, bitch. And so it's yeah, it's really affecting my health, my quality of life, my quality of sleep, honestly, even my marriage and my relationships with people like, I had to really take a good long look in the mirror recently and realize like, am I the drama? I can't be the drama. I am bitch. I'm a little bit of the drama. And I'm trying to navigate that in the healthiest way possible.
00:02:58
Speaker
I've kind of talked about this before, but 25, I wanted it to be my year where I just really step into the highest version of myself, especially in terms of how I treat other people and how I let my emotions affect other people. So I tend to be incredibly self-critical, right? That just comes with being an anxious person, having a bunch of anxiety, specifically stemming from childhood trauma. I think a lot of us grow up
00:03:28
Speaker
with specific situations that we can't control, so then we tend to lean on or cling to things that give us a sense of control, whether that's unhealthy habits and eating disorders, what I personally struggled with. But I've always just found myself to be extremely self-critical and I analyze everything, whether I'm triggered or not.
00:03:49
Speaker
like I've judged myself first about a situation. But then also I find myself demonizing and judging other people as well. Whether it's those who hurt me, or like people who really just don't handle my emotions and my needs properly. Like sometimes I take that as like a personal attack because I'm like, Oh my god, my wound is like reactivated and reopened from childhood when it's like this bitch didn't even know you in childhood, they did not hurt you the way you were hurt in childhood, you're triggered right now. Something I don't always know what it is, guys, but
00:04:19
Speaker
Sometimes just something, whether it's a certain kind of sigh or a certain, I don't know, just certain things will really trigger me. And then I'm like, oh my God, like my safety is at risk. My stability is at risk. It's a lot, right?
Why Radical Forgiveness Matters
00:04:32
Speaker
And what this does is it blocks my heart chakra. It literally sits inside and it causes stress and anxiety. It's slowly killing me and everyone else who experiences this, right? So this is where radical forgiveness comes into play.
00:04:48
Speaker
You guys, if you're not ready to hear this or receive this, just know I didn't make it up so you can't be mad at me. Okay. I don't know what to tell you. I definitely wasn't ready to hear this or receive this. Um, up until, I don't know. I mean, I've been saying it for a long time, but I wasn't really living it and understanding it up until kind of recently when I'm one second, I'm going to do a little weed cough and take a sip of water. Cause like, this is a solo episodes. I don't have Kelsey to give me a break.
00:05:18
Speaker
Oh, bitch, that hit the spot. So, um, basically, I have been saying for a long time, I heard it first from Tony Robbins, but I don't know who said it first. And it was things happen for you, not to you. Radical forgiveness is deciding and knowing that. So let me kind of like explain that. Okay.
00:05:39
Speaker
We all came here for a specific reason. Again, this is gonna get esoteric and if you're not here for that, you knew what this channel was. What is that one TikTok sound right now? It says, well, you know what? You knew what the fuck I was when you met me, you bitch. Who is that? Oh my God, it's a rapper. What's his name?
00:05:57
Speaker
Oh, it scares me. Kevin Gates. No, I don't want to be wrong, but so funny. But truly, you all know what the fuck this podcast was when you came to it. OK, we're getting high and we're talking about the universe. So you came here for a specific reason to learn certain lessons. OK, we chose our human suits. We chose our families. We chose our traumas. We chose our life path like.
00:06:19
Speaker
It sucks, especially if this is your first time hearing it, you're probably like, what the actual fuck? I could punch you in the face, bitch. And girl, fair.
00:06:31
Speaker
Okay, as someone who has just been on this journey for a long time, and I've heard a bunch of different perspectives from people, you just always hear people who are like the most enlightened. I'm gonna say it, even Jesus forgave people, you know, and they hated Jesus when he was around. So for example, right, let's I'm gonna explain what I'm talking about. In the event
Soul's Journey and Growth
00:06:50
Speaker
that your soul came to earth, let's say that your lesson in particular was
00:06:53
Speaker
Oh, I want to come to Earth and I want to experience deep compassion for other people. So in order to do that, I'm going to experience X, Y, and Z, and I'm going to have to learn to forgive those people and those events or perhaps myself. So this is one example of radical forgiveness that was explained and kind of demonstrated in Trinity's video. So she was talking about Journey of Souls by Michael Newton.
00:07:14
Speaker
And she brought up a ton of books by Brian L. Weiss, Dr. Brian L. Weiss. Many Lives, Many Masters is one of them. She had like a ton on there on her Amazon list.
00:07:25
Speaker
but essentially what they were talking about is kind of the same thing Tony Robbins said, which is everything is happening for you, not to you. So in the event, right? That some terrible shit happens to you. Um, it's kind of your life journey. What we talked about in the last episode, how your mess is your message. It's like that. It's really all about perspective and not only forgiving
00:07:47
Speaker
the person who did it but like forgiving yourself for like maybe how you handled it if you could if you're like oh I could have handled it better I should have handled it better like guys this leads me to my next point um which is another way to look at it which I'm kind of really leaning toward right now is Eckhart Tolle or Eckhart Tolle I don't know how to say his goddamn name you guys but I'm trying um
00:08:08
Speaker
I watched one of his YouTube videos recently and he kind of simplified radical confidence. Shout out Lisa Billio. He kind of simplified radical forgiveness without calling it that. So he said that an unconscious mind will and does inflict suffering on both themselves and other people to various degrees and levels because it's an unconscious mind. So they create their own misery and they make others miserable, right?
00:08:35
Speaker
But guilt comes when we realize and when we become conscious of some wrongdoing. But then what we do is we say, I, I did that and I was bad. I was, I'm a terrible person. I'm awful. I'm unworthy. And when we do that, what we're doing is actually playing into our ego. This is the ego with the whole I thing.
00:08:55
Speaker
on some esoteric shit bitches, I is not real. I isn't truly real as your deepest identity, okay? It's the identity of oneness and of the universe and of God. That's the only thing that's real. Love is the only thing that's real. This whole collective consciousness is the only thing that's real. So you were just a reflection of human consciousness unevolved, of human consciousness unaware or unconscious at that time.
00:09:19
Speaker
Choosing to forgive and move forward is the biggest thing that's going to help you in these situations, you guys. Number one, forgiveness is just healthier for your heart. Okay. Both the chakra and like physical, like your physical heart and your needs, the more that you hang on to guilt or hate or like just resentment. It's gonna, I saw on Twitter, my friend Jade recently,
00:09:41
Speaker
was saying that it's going to store up in your body as stress and you're way too pretty to have all those to look so much older than you really are. Now, you know me, bitch, age with grace, but that means age with grace. I'm not trying to look a hundred when I'm 20. Like you have to for your health, but then also for your mental health, choose to forgive and
Self-Forgiveness and Balance
00:10:01
Speaker
move forward. So the more that you can forgive, especially yourself,
00:10:05
Speaker
Your brain, your 3d body. Okay. Your, they're earthly machines. Yes. You're connected to source, especially through them, but they are of this earth. So your mental health suffers bitch. Okay. Like your mental health and your just mental wellness. It's actually going to suffer if you don't tend to it, forgive yourself. Okay. Or else it's really going to eat away at you. And then three.
00:10:31
Speaker
You miss a part or you reach a part in your spiritual journey where this kind of just makes sense. It kind of just clicks that love is all we have. Um, so there obviously, when something is fresh and new, you have to feel those feelings. If something tragic happens or you're attacked or something, someone has really hurt you.
00:10:51
Speaker
You need to take the time to feel that hurt, to feel that anger, to really experience all of that. Because if you don't, like I said earlier, the same thing with not forgiving yourself and guilt, it's going to sit inside of you. It's going to cause stress. It's going to cause issues. Feelings are meant to be felt. Okay. So I'm not telling you not to like, Oh, only feel happy things. Love everybody. Forgive everybody right away. Feel your feelings. And I still believe like,
00:11:15
Speaker
I don't know if the word justice is correct, but, you know, Karma, that bitch, she she does her thing. We can always count on her. And also, I think Karma is really misunderstood in a lot of ways.
00:11:29
Speaker
Karma isn't some negative curse. It's kind of like a law. It's an energetic law. So if I put out beautiful, positive energy, then that's what I'm going to get back as well. Anything that you put out there, because you are one with everyone, you're just going to experience it as essentially like what karma means, right?
00:11:47
Speaker
You reach a point, though, in your spiritual journey where you allow yourself to feel all those feelings while still knowing, I'm just working through this right now so that I can reach a point of love, so that I can reach a point of peace and understanding and honestly, yeah, forgiveness, radical fucking forgiveness. And it's hard. That's what this episode is about, to kind of introduce the concept of it.
00:12:10
Speaker
I'm not telling you like, you know, be besties and hug your fucking abuser. I don't want to have, you know, Trinity is amazing. And she said that someone who hurt her deeply, um, ran into her recently. Like they saw each other recently, um, just by happenstance by, I don't know. Is that a word? I'm just high. Um, and she just saw them kind of like unexpectedly and basically whatever happened between them, she didn't really share, but
Forgiving Abusers for Personal Peace
00:12:32
Speaker
she said that she experienced a lot of healing and love in that moment.
00:12:35
Speaker
That's so beautiful and I wish that for everyone, but I absolutely understand that that's not the reality or even possible for the given reality for a lot of people, myself included. I don't want anything to do with my abusers, but at the same time, I have found at least certain parts of myself and at certain times where I can forgive them. The resentment, I think, is pretty much gone, but the lingering feelings, that's what kind of makes me sometimes
00:13:06
Speaker
get re-triggered, I think. I think it's totally, there's a difference between saying, I forgive you because I have to, because it's good for me. I'm not forgiving you for you. I'm forgiving you for me because I know that it's gonna set me free.
00:13:20
Speaker
There's a difference between doing that, but like you're still a fucking human. And if you have trauma and PTSD and you get triggered by certain things, you also have to release the guilt on yourself. You have to forgive yourself for feeling that way. Sometimes when I, especially recently when I've been really, really just struggling and having horrible nightmares and flashbacks and just feeling like I'm back in the past again.
00:13:45
Speaker
which I know I'm not, um, but I kind of feel like I am. So then what happens is I kind of get into this area of resentment and I kind of feel like, Oh, these people sucked and they did me so dirty and I hate them. And then I realized like that doesn't fucking help me. Like I honestly spiral more and I don't need to be these people's best friend. I don't even need them in my life, but I need to like forgive the situation because like Eckhart Tolle or toll, whatever the fuck said like,
00:14:12
Speaker
An unconscious mind will and does inflict suffering either on themselves or others or both to various degrees and various levels, okay? So when you hurt someone or when you experience something or if you don't handle things the right way, you were just a reflection of human consciousness, unevolved and unaware. And that's like, it was just transformative to hear him say that.
00:14:34
Speaker
Like, I don't know, guys, I'm really going to start applying this to I haven't mastered it by any means. I just wanted to like I wanted us all to talk about it and like think about it because I think this is really going to help me. I always knew the phrase, the Tony Robbins again, he didn't originate it. I'm sure he introduced it to me. Everything happens for you, not to you. And I try only saying that sometimes, right? You got to know your audience and you got to also like have respect and empathy for what a person is going through.
00:15:02
Speaker
But at the same time, like I've never forgot that. And I always think like, yeah, bitches, there are so many things in my life that have genuinely sucked. But the way that I've chosen to change because of it and to grow because of it has made me who I am and has brought me to this beautiful place in my life. And I'm not saying I wouldn't have beautiful things and be at this place one day.
00:15:23
Speaker
But I think I chose to accelerate that and I definitely chose to be my best fucking self. Because what if I was just going about all this unconsciously? I can't imagine what I would be like if I was still in my like, everything spiritual or even religious is wrong. And I'm a hateful atheist. Like, guys, when I say I was atheist, I called myself agnostic because I was like, well, I'm sure there's something I believed in, like,
00:15:48
Speaker
the universe, but I didn't believe it in the universe on a spiritual level. Like I was like, I don't know. It's some kind of science that I don't understand. But once I kind of like, I don't know, broke through that, I suppose. And honestly, even before I broke through that,
00:16:04
Speaker
I had, I was just very willy nilly and I had a lot of anger. Um, and then yeah, really breaking through that. Once I did break through that, it kind of helped me realize like, if I want to have an amazing fucking life, I'm the only one who's going to provide that. I mean, yeah, my husband, he's a great provider, but like, how would I have ever made it to this place where I'm married to someone who I love so much and we have such a beautiful, healthy thing going where I'm even like, I should be grateful that I'm in a place to be able to finally be.
00:16:31
Speaker
healing this way in a safe place where I can talk about it with someone who isn't going to judge me, who's genuinely going to keep me safe and like help me get the resources that I need to heal.
Radical Forgiveness as a Tool
00:16:40
Speaker
These are normal things that a human goes through. I'm not the only person with trauma. I'm not the only person with shit that they've been through. And I think when I reframe it and I look at it like, damn, like instead of sitting here, like look what's happened. Like I'm married and I'm still dealing with stuff from childhood.
00:16:56
Speaker
No, bitch. Look what's happened. Like I'm married now and I have a whole ass beautiful life and I'm dealing with stuff from childhood. Like I'm facing it head on, on purpose. I'm not letting it consume me anymore. I'm not letting it manifest in the form of an eating disorder or taking jobs and doing things that I don't want to do just to like find some worth in other people and have somebody tell me like, yes, you're okay. Like, yes, you're enough because I didn't feel that enough. Like growing up.
00:17:23
Speaker
I don't know, bitches, like this whole concept of radical forgiveness, I can just tell is going to really help me. It's going to be very transformative for my healing journey. And I needed to hear that right the fuck now, because I've been going really crazy, honestly, for like the past few weeks, I would say maybe even a few months. I'm trying to not blame it on like,
00:17:45
Speaker
I don't want to be like, oh, it's just the weather because I don't think it's that. I think it's a mixture of trauma coming up, mental illness, and the weather in California has been wild, OK? And I'm an empathetic person, all right? So I do really feel when the weather is off, it makes me off. I don't like rain. It makes me sad. OK, I digress. Oh, my God. Marissa, if you're listening to this, I'm sorry that I just said I digress. I saw your talk about it.
00:18:12
Speaker
I don't even say it that much. She said it was cringy, and it's like, that's fair. Like, that's fair, but forgive me. I'm fried. Anyway, you guys, I hope that this episode kinda...
Reflecting on the Solo Episode
00:18:25
Speaker
brought some new perspective to your life. I hope that this episode also kind of made you think and listen, if you weren't ready to hear it, don't blame me. Blame Tony Robbins. Blame the authors of those books. Guys, don't blame me. I didn't come up with this, but I really think I'm going to start implementing it and like thinking about it more. When I set my intention every day, I'm going to like probably add like practice radical forgiveness. So yeah, thank you guys for being here with me today for my first solo episode.
00:18:53
Speaker
I'm still trying to figure out like how a solo episode should kind of flow. This is my first one. Um, I didn't want to just speed through the whole thing. Like, so yeah, if my pauses were weird, it's like, guys, give me a little break and stay high. Love y'all.