Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
EP. 92 How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
0 Plays2 seconds ago
Follow us on Instagram!
Our Tik Tok page is live!
Email the pod at 2guys1screenpod@gmail.com
Leave us a voicemail to be answered on the pod! 508-834-7847
Check out our Youtube Page for clips!
Recommended
Transcript
Awkward Introductions and Humor
00:00:00
Speaker
I want to play football. Have you seen my dick? been looking for it.
00:00:07
Speaker
Sir, I'm going to rub one out right here on your counter.
00:00:11
Speaker
We cut to Mike, who delivers meat on his bicycle.
00:00:19
Speaker
rinsing your girl out, bud.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hello, my name is Nick, and I have shaft hair.
00:00:27
Speaker
Call me Odell Beckham Senior, because I'm dad.
00:00:34
Speaker
want me to lick your bedpan, filthy skunk?
00:00:40
Speaker
We're just joking. Everything's jokes.
Podcast Introduction and Episode Theme
00:00:47
Speaker
Two girls, one cup? No. Two guys, one screen? Yes.
00:00:55
Speaker
Hello and welcome to episode 92 of the Two Guys One Screen podcast, aka the Hemorrhoid Homies, aka the Potown Boys, Diarrhea Daddies. Diarrhea Daddies in the law. In the law. We do all that shit.
Dr. Seuss Discussion
00:01:07
Speaker
We're here to ah record an episode on Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. And it's not okay that Dr. Seuss didn't like the Jews. No, it's not.
00:01:20
Speaker
but Was that Walt? Walt didn't like the Jews. Don't be slandering my fucking one cock, two cock guy, all right? Yeah, one cock, two cock. red thou blue thought Yeah, you know? I should've got that. No, I shouldn't have.
Childhood Movie Memories
00:01:32
Speaker
Yeah, well. I fucking shouldn't have. This is a movie that I haven't watched since I was, as I told you, pre-pubescent. Like no no pubes on your balls or anything? I don't even think I knew what Cumming was when watched this movie. I'm like, I understood what Cumming was. definitely believe in Santa big.
00:01:48
Speaker
So this like really upset you, huh? Yeah, i mean i thought I mean, this is like a childhood core movie for me that I just hadn't seen in a long time. I don't physically own this movie, and I'm just ashamed now.
00:02:00
Speaker
I vividly remember the only times I used to watch this movie up until I owned it physically was on ABC Family. Yeah, I don't think I ever watched it. I think I had a DVD of it.
00:02:12
Speaker
Oh, yeah? Yeah, it had a red case. If you can hunt this down, this was the 20th anniversary 4K steal. Yeah, but ah mid. Best Buy exclusive.
00:02:26
Speaker
i mean, it's got it's got nice... I like the inward. It's glossy. They should have made the inward the outward, yeah, I mean. Yeah, but... It's the 25th anniversary this year, so they're releasing a new one. And the new one looks better. Hey, we're back.
00:02:40
Speaker
It's him and fucking Cindy riding that jaw down the hill. You know what I mean? They're getting fucking road. yes Before we get any further into this episode, we're
Listener Engagement and Social Media
00:02:50
Speaker
going to do a... Plug it in, plug in.
00:02:53
Speaker
So, follow us on Instagram, 2Guys1ScreenPod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to 2Guys1ScreenPod at gmail.com. Follow us on... YouTube, TikTok, follow us individually on Letterboxd.
00:03:09
Speaker
Send us a voicemail. 5088-FISTUS. 5088-DIPTIP, six-minute limit. It's all going be in the description. Check out our physical media podcast. Yeah. Yeah, you want it?
00:03:23
Speaker
You fucking want it? I'm going to give it to you fucking real good. This is... Yo, this is... pre-Crisp and Wav and pre-9-11. Yeah, this is called the good old days. Yeah, 2000, dude. We were, what, two years old?
00:03:37
Speaker
the two thousand the The year 2000 is just like a golden... You know you got 2000 upwards to September 2001. It's like the golden era right there. Right, then the world just really just took a nosedive. It's just like one thing after another. a Movie was directed by ron Howard. Isn't that a basketball player?
00:03:57
Speaker
That's Dwight Howard. <unk>s Okay. Ron Artest. I don't know who that is either. Ron Simmons. Yeah. tim minutess You know, Ron Simmons. APA.
00:04:09
Speaker
Him and Bradshaw, dude. Run through the fucking WWF in the ninety s All right.
Ron Howard and Jim Carrey Debate
00:04:15
Speaker
This dude directed ah Solo. That's odd. It's mid. In the Da Vinci Code.
00:04:21
Speaker
And he directed A Beautiful Mind with ah this dude. we Russell Crowe, he has it burgers big, but it's a good movie. He directed Willow? ah and this guy's cooks. This guy cooks.
00:04:33
Speaker
Oh, Willow is. You've never seen Willow, dude? Disney movie. Should we do the fucking or not fucking it for the directors nowadays? or What do you think? Why, are you fucking this guy? No, I'm not. i just was just curious of what you thought.
00:04:44
Speaker
He looks like Jake. No, he doesn't. um just I just call every bald man Jake. Yeah. All right, here's your here's your cast. We got Jim Carrey who plays the Grinch. Look, I'm not fucking the Grinch. All that's wild.
00:04:59
Speaker
I have no interest in doing that. Is Jim Carrey getting it for the clout? I'm fucking Jim Carrey for sure. He's a cute guy, but I ain't fucking the Grinch. I want to make that clear right now. Oh, yeah. Putting that out there.
00:05:10
Speaker
Yeah, I ain't fucking the Grinch. Jim Carrey's getting fucked. Jim Carrey is like... ain't fucking it. We need to protect him at all costs. He's a national treasure.
00:05:21
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, i don't know how you direct Jim Carrey. You just put him in your movie and you go hey man, just do your thing, bro. Just do what you do. Yeah, I mean, there's one infamous, not infamous, famous scene in this movie that he improvised.
00:05:36
Speaker
It's when he pulled the fucking curt like the tablecloth off. Everything just stayed. So then he just walked over and fucking knocked it all over. that was improvised? Yeah.
00:05:46
Speaker
That's cool. Yeah, I i don't think I ever could have done that ever my life. Have you ever seen Ace Ventura? No. Yikes. Have you ever seen Eternal Sunshine the Spotless Mind?
00:05:59
Speaker
No. Yikes. you're fucking right now dude yo right movie you You started this recording so chill and now you're so passive aggressive.
00:06:11
Speaker
Yeah, because you because you do this bullshit where I haven't seen movie and yikes. it's like You haven't seen tons of movies. Yeah, and I feel like internal sunshine of the spotless mind is like one of those ones that you need to see, right? Eternal, not internal.
00:06:23
Speaker
Sorry. I just want you internally in me. Next, we got fucking Taylor Momosan. That's not Momosan. She's Momsan. This girl, I mean, as a kid, can we just... As a child actor, I genuinely think she was trash.
00:06:40
Speaker
i yeah i don't I don't think she did a good job. I think the part where she starts singing, I was like laughing. It was so bad. i get you're a little kid, but like it was bad. Yeah, like you couldn't sing.
00:06:50
Speaker
what did they do to her fucking teeth? They did that to everybody, though, because the Who's have big teeth. Yeah, but hers were like worse because she was a little kid. It's true. They look like Chucky from ah Rugrats.
00:07:02
Speaker
I don't get that reference, but yes. Never seen Rugrats? No, I haven't seen Well, I didn't have a childhood. That's my mom's fault. But she just like for the 25th anniversary, she just put out a new version of Where Are You Christmas? No.
00:07:15
Speaker
i because as an adult, you get fucking piped down, at least in this picture. Yeah, she's like given like Avril Lavigne vibes low key. Yes, this picture. And she's a a member of a rock band called The Pretty Reckless. I mean, you can fucking wreck my life. That's what I'm talking about.
00:07:30
Speaker
She was in We Were Soldiers, probably my favorite war movie of all time. That's like one I gotta knock off. Speaking of war films, I watched Warfare last night. Alex
Film Recommendations and Reviews
00:07:40
Speaker
Garland? Fucking great.
00:07:41
Speaker
Yeah, I saw you released it or link logged it. I logged it. Four and a half stars. It was fantastic. I recommend it. A24, right? Listen, this man, Alex Garland, say whatever you want about him. This man can direct a goddamn action film. All right? He knows what the fuck he's doing.
00:07:59
Speaker
was supposed to be like super like you're in the war with him, right? Like body cam type shit. It's literally like it's not body cam, but it's like that general vibe. It's literally like a day in a life of a soldier who's stationed in like Iraq.
00:08:11
Speaker
That's terrifying, actually. Yeah, it's like The Hurt Locker, but better. Because honestly, fuck The Hurt Locker. I hate that movie. so so So you are willing to buy this movie physically now? Yeah, the problem is though, a twenty four put it out themselves in a copy of it's like fucking ridiculous because it's A24's like boxed thing.
00:08:30
Speaker
You know how like Sing Sing comes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that drawn, it's it's like that. And that's just what it is. So I'm just wondering what it's like on sale or something. I don't fucking know. It was great. It was good.
00:08:42
Speaker
Next we got Jeffrey Tambor who plays Mayor Augustus Mayhew. ah I mean, this guy's a legend, legendary actor. He's big. He's big. Who the fuck was he in SpongeBob?
00:08:55
Speaker
I don't know. Oh, the voice of King Neptune. and That makes sense. That's fair. You just read it on here. SpongeBob. No, don't.
00:09:06
Speaker
No, I don't. But I'm really excited to watch 4k eventually. Yeah, it's five star movie. and he It was in Hellboy. The Guillermo del Toro Hellboy. Hmm. Next we got... i ain't fucking this dude here. I ain't fucking this guy. No. I ain't fucking it.
00:09:22
Speaker
um Next we got Christine Baranski. Baranski. I said your name wrong. I'm sorry. Baranski. She's Martha May Houvier. Hell yeah.
00:09:34
Speaker
I mean, she's getting piped down, no? Yeah. Maybe not like now in like her letterbox, but in this movie. In this movie, she's getting fucking piped the fuck down. Yeah, she's definition of like... Milf that has like face work done. You know what mean? Yeah, no, for sure. Her face is fucking mangled, but I'm doing it. Her body, crazy.
00:09:53
Speaker
Crazy body for a fucking like... mo idea she must have been like in her sixty s or in this movie no Had to be. Yeah, she was busted. so like Yeah, big. She's already had stardom, faces already jank, but like the body crazy.
00:10:09
Speaker
Yeah, wild wild titters. yeah we Next, we got Bill Irvin, who plays Lulu Who. ah i don't I don't think I'm fucking this guy. i'll be honest, the Who Knows has kind of freaked me out.
00:10:23
Speaker
They do, but you can just kind of like... It looks like you wanted to fuck either girl's ass out and then she just sat down on your nose too hard and pushed it back. That's what I was saying. like If you're like trying to... like She sits on your face. like your Your mouth is on her vag, but your nose is literally inside of her. Yeah.
00:10:41
Speaker
Got bent backwards. next We got Molly Shannon who plays Betty Lou Who. Ain't fucking this lady either. now She was ugly now. She's ugly then. he ain't fucking it. Alright, guys.
00:10:52
Speaker
He ain't fucking it. Who the fuck is Hubris? Is that the officer? Like the right-hand mayor? Yeah, right-hand man to the mayor. It's Clint Howard. Clint Howard. Any relation to Rob Howard?
00:11:04
Speaker
No. I don't think so. Ron? I said Rob. I meant Ron.
00:11:11
Speaker
What was that guy's name in middle school? Rob what? He banged his head against the locker a bunch of times? I remember that i'nna day, that day he asked, I don't remember what exactly happened. I think he asked Alexis out or some shit or he got broken up with or something happened.
00:11:26
Speaker
And I remember walking in the hallway and this kid, he was fucking bleeped at. Oh, I remember kid, yeah. Yeah, yeah, but he was he was going like this to their locker, just boom.
00:11:37
Speaker
Like just fucking banging his head into his locker. I'm this kid's fucking not okay. I think that kid like tried to commit suicide a couple of times. For sure. Darn, he was unsuccessful.
00:11:48
Speaker
Is Clint Howard related to Ron Howard or no? don't think so. They were both born in the 50s. But Clint Howard plays Hubris, and he's also not fucking it, but is he has a Terrifier 3 acting credit.
00:12:01
Speaker
Yeah, it is Clint Howard. The Clint Howard. I don't know who the Clint Howard is. He was the guy that got shot in the bar, killed in the bar in Terrifier 3. He was Kate from Kate's Catering in The Cat in the Hat.
00:12:15
Speaker
I mean, Kate from Kate's Catering. That's, you know, the ice cream man himself. I have to still to watch ice cream, man. I know. Got to do it. Should we just do ice cream in the bracket or should we just lock it?
00:12:26
Speaker
Lock it because it'll be a fucking blind watch for both of us. Oh, you haven't seen it either? No, I got the vinegar syndrome, though, because I wanted to watch it. Shout out to vinegar. me put this ice cream man.
00:12:41
Speaker
It's like really deep in my watch list now. It's bad. Next, we got ah Josh Ryan Evans, who plays the eight-year-old version of the Grinch. Just no comment. Moving along. He's an ugly kid, though. That's for fact.
Narration and Film Prestige
00:12:54
Speaker
I don't know.
00:12:55
Speaker
right. So, I mean, I think we can skip these people. I think we should shout out the one that you texted me about. ah Because, i mean, I caught it. I caught it as he was talking. I was like, is this? I didn't see it until I saw it credited on the screen.
00:13:09
Speaker
um Yeah, Anthony Hopkins voices the narrator. I did recognize his voice. And i was like yeah that's Anthony Hopkins. Big. And out of fucking nowhere, Frank Welker voices Max the dog.
00:13:20
Speaker
Yeah, shout out to Frank Welker as well. Yeah. i think you can do it myself and I think Anthony Hopkins is Sir Anthony Hopkins. So I just want to make that. Sorry. We got to. You're knighted. Sorry.
00:13:31
Speaker
uh if you're doing this podcast and you're like oh well i saw a podcast about these guys are gonna review the grinch i love that movie it might not be the podcast for you you're but but we do a scene by scene we'll talk about each scene in the movie uh strap in strap on because typically we go crazy with movies designed for kids I don't know what the ru robot is. that well there it is And here's here's the thing, right? so right yeah testing This came out in 2000.
00:13:58
Speaker
Yeah, this is pre-Krishmawa. And I'm pretty sure... Did Kripp Grimoire ever get the title? He got World Heavyweight. He never got w WWE. Alright, keep talking. ah So this was like the first live action Dr. Seuss adaptation, right? And everybody loved this movie. And then Cat in Hat comes out three years later and everybody fucking hates it. It's essentially same vibes.
00:14:20
Speaker
Same vibes and maybe possibly the same rating. I'm just saying this movie really fucking did something for me. Yeah, it does, dude.
00:14:31
Speaker
um Okay, I just want to double check the release date on this movie. Probably Christmas, right?
00:14:40
Speaker
Probably end of November, early December. I just want to have this up going forward because it's fucking hilarious. Okay, hold on. Okay. Okay. okay ah um Release date, November 17th, 2000.
00:14:52
Speaker
Let me see if I can find something in here. Just a few months before that, May 1st of 2000. Chris Benoit won the WWF Intercontinental Championship. Let's fucking go, Chris.
00:15:03
Speaker
Either by November he already lost it or was still retaining it. Let's go, Chris. So Chris Benoit won the title. WWF Intercontinental. ah This is December of 2000. hold ah hold up We won and lost it a bunch of times 2000. Hold on a minute. Let's go back. Let's go all the way back. You should go on cage side seats.
00:15:24
Speaker
January 16, 2000, he won the the World Heavyweight, WCW World Heavyweight. Okay, so he's heavy though. So he was still. Then he got stripped the next day, probably because he left went to WWF.
00:15:36
Speaker
Yeah. April 2nd of 2000, he won the Intercontinental. Then he lost it. Does it say who he lost it to? Yeah, he lost it to... ah Chris Jericho.
00:15:49
Speaker
Oh, nice. Hit the button. That might be a good fucking match. Hold up. All right. And then this movie, after this movie came out, he won the title back from Billy Gunn December 10th, 2000. So in between that and this movie, he was titless, but he did win it in December.
00:16:08
Speaker
Okay, let's go. Christmas
Chris Benoit's Career and Movie Timeline
00:16:10
Speaker
miracle. This is pre-Chris Benoit, but it's also pre-slash-post-championship Chris Benoit. It just depends what day on what I just want to do this. I just want to some movies review there like in the two thousand and one two era like when he was actually winning titles.
00:16:26
Speaker
Okay. Because that's fun. You know, like like what was Chris Benoit doing? I just want to know. So should I tag like every post we do that? Hashtag Chris Benoit?
00:16:36
Speaker
Just fucking hashtag Chris Benoit. Just make the slideshow. It's like this picture. the maybe there's like an out of context picture. There's the picture of the movie we're doing. And then there's just the picture of Benoit holding his title belt. Yeah, that's good. That's good.
00:16:48
Speaker
ah All right, here you go. Strap it in, and strap it on. I got a button that might just end up being on the soundboard from now on. I don't know. it's I mean, i think I think it's a fucking banger.
00:16:59
Speaker
it Is it from the movie or do I know it? no no it's No, no, it's a line from the movie, yeah. Oh, okay. Big. i See, I thought it was so you were finally going to pull Let It Burn by Avatar when he was burning the tree down.
00:17:13
Speaker
I mean, that'd be cool too. Yeah. Another thing too that I was thinking of, because we have we have too many buttons for like sound effects, like when the walls break. ah I wanted to get the glass shatter from like Stone Cold because like glass does shatter in movies review. That's true. Yeah. And then, but then also to have the v let it burn too. It's just like a lot we've got a lot of sound effects here.
00:17:33
Speaker
Yeah. Anyways, but a lot of things burn in movies. Yeah, yeah that's true. ah The narrator, like we said, is Anthony motherfucking Hopkins. This is a cool. I forgot about this open. This is fucking cool, man. Yeah, it looks nice. Should we shout the guy that did the music for this movie? Because the music is fucking great.
00:17:52
Speaker
Who did it? i don't know. I'm looking. Why you do so much disrespect people make the music for this composer? James Horner looks like Alfred Molina. Oh, yeah. Right. Anyways, Whoville is inside a fucking snowflake. If you guys didn't know that.
00:18:05
Speaker
um And I just wrote down that the set design is immaculate because it really is. It it really is. they they i mean, this is when we were a proper country. They had a budget. Yeah. you know, Chris Van Waal's alive winning titles and we got set design. i mean, what else could you ask for?
00:18:19
Speaker
Yeah. There is CGI, but it's fine. little bit. There is, you know, the countdown is on to Christmas, and this shit's like Black Friday. But there are no Black Who's.
00:18:30
Speaker
No. Which is kind of fucked up, Ron Howard. Your name sounds like a not-me name, and you have no not-means in your movie. Right, but what would their last name be? Brian. Like, Brian, who the fuck are you? Like, you know?
00:18:44
Speaker
It pans up to the Mount Crumpet. Crumpet. Isn't it? This is where the Grinch lives in his fucking Al-Qaeda cave. We're doing two Grinch movies this month, that I just realized.
00:18:57
Speaker
Yeah, they and they all live in Al-Qaeda caves. They do. Some look better than others. That's fact. it's Some have a big logical sense. Some have snow on the outside and the inside. it just depends where you go. Right. Yeah. Somewhere sunny like the fucking Sahara outside it's snowy on the inside. it just kind of depends. Weird.
00:19:14
Speaker
Depends on who you ask. Right.
Grinch's Mischief and Whoville Events
00:19:15
Speaker
And he's peeking out at these mountain climbers. And you don't realize it right now, but these are the the children of ah Lou. um And his sons are making fun of the girls they're with for being scared of the Grinch.
00:19:30
Speaker
And they make jokes that he eats people. um And we see a cut and there's an alarm for intruders in the Grinch's cave that goes off a bunch times.
00:19:40
Speaker
And these climbers reach the Grinch's front door. And this girl is like, touch the door for me, Stu. You're fucking touching. Come on, baby.
00:19:51
Speaker
Yeah. And then this. My big nose. You see my big nose. We're going to go up and No, it's later. touch the door, Stu. Yes, Stu. Ow. That fucking shattered my balls.
00:20:06
Speaker
That's a different kind of pain so um I forgot about this. The door opens. There's a giant animatronic Grinch head. I mean, I was like, wow. over scar five like Big respect. yeah um And it's attached to Max, who's barking and the bark like distorts and it sounds like a monster, essentially.
00:20:24
Speaker
And they run off. We see the Grinch who has this fucking table of like just fucking old, like decaying food. I've never this is always stuck with me. Like it looks so fucking gross. You know? Hey, man. Maybe that's real food. Maybe they just let it rot.
00:20:38
Speaker
I think it is. And I think he's munching on a real onion. And he's just like, um like, it's just coming out of his mouth. It's gross. I mean, nothing wrong with bite into a raw onion. Why is it all wrong with that? I said there's nothing wrong with it.
00:20:50
Speaker
You like that? I mean, my grandma used to do it. She, the trick was if you run it under water. Yeah. It'll take like the, the off of the onion. That tracks.
00:21:01
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, but typically we would do that in the kitchen after you cut it. Not before you just like bite into a raw. She was fucking crazy, bro.
00:21:12
Speaker
he's going to go into town because he's like, oh, I guess they want to see me. And he gets his cloak. and Not that kind of cloak, all right? And he goes into town. He looks like a fucking Jedi.
00:21:27
Speaker
Kind of, yeah. That Jedi cloak. He's holding a saw. And he gives it to some kids. He's like, yeah, run really fast while you're holding this. He has like so many good one-liners that are definitely Jim Carrey improvisations. this is This is like Shrek where it's like, i haven't watched it since I was a kid, but the humor is funny for adults.
00:21:49
Speaker
Yeah. Like, I just was chuckling the whole time of this fucking movie. I think I put those three movies together. Which three? Cat in the Hat, Grinch, and Shrek.
00:22:00
Speaker
That was like my early 2000s childhood right there. Yeah, I mean, i put I'd put those and Spider-Man 2. m Yeah, we have an episode in that that's fucking crazy. Yeah, it is. It's over two hours. Superhero movies, too. I don't know what it is Don't worry. We'll do Shrek eventually, too.
00:22:22
Speaker
This guy who owns a store like stops the Grinch trying to sell him something and the Grinch just breathes on him and he like faints. ah We see Lou with Cindy, his daughter, and he's got a ton of gifts and Cindy just doesn't really buy a hype behind all this like craziness for ah holiday. christmas
00:22:44
Speaker
Stu and the rest of the people, his brother and those girls come back yelling about the Grinch and we meet Mayor May. who comes out and he reminds him when it's the 100th or 1,000th.
00:22:58
Speaker
1,000th. Hublation. Hublation. And he tells Louie, he's like, i don't want to have to tell you about this again and tell your boys to fucking chill. um And Louie's like, there's no Grinch. No worry, guys. And they're like, no, there isn't.
00:23:16
Speaker
And then we see the Grinch shoot a spit dart at the mayor, which was funny. ah See, Lou, who is ah a postman, a mailman, he sorts mail. Fucking job. Lou who? and Yep.
00:23:29
Speaker
And Cindy asks why no one talks about the Grinch, and it's because he doesn't like Christmas. So if you don't like Christmas, you're just off the island, you know? You've been voted off the island, and that's just what it is.
00:23:40
Speaker
Oh, like ah Survivor? Exactly. And he doesn't get any mail because of that. He got cobwebs in his fucking mailbox. Looking like fucking Betty White's box. Yo, no, there's no way. Betty White's box was probably fucking used and abused in the correct ways.
00:23:56
Speaker
Yeah. RIP. Uh, the opposite side of this mailroom, the Grinch is in there just messing around with the mail. And it was just funny that he was like throwing jury duty notices into these people's mailboxes. And one time he was like blackmail. Yeah. One was an eviction notice. So that probably went to the single non-mean that lives in Whoville. You could show me the fucking non-mean. It would for sure be for him. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they don't have dollar general there. Maybe they have like Whoville general.
00:24:20
Speaker
Whoville general. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Lou asks Cindy to go back to the sorting room to like figure out what's going wrong. And she walks in there and the Grinch is like hiding in the corner of the ceiling. Kind of like a that lady from Hereditary or Ben Affleck's Batman in that one movie.
00:24:39
Speaker
Yeah. And his mask falls to the ground and he they Max sneezes. Max is the Grinch's dog. if you guys don't know the story already, but... Have you never seen like the 1950, whatever cartoon? yeah Any of them.
00:24:53
Speaker
Yeah. um And Cindy looks up, they see each other and they both scream and she falls into the sorting machine. um And the Grinch is like, all right, we're good. And he goes to leave and Max bites him.
00:25:06
Speaker
And Connelly's like, you got to help her out. So he pulls her out of this fucking sorting machine. And ah he yells at this poor girl for taking his mask that clearly fell on the floor. And then he wraps her up in ah like a gift, like a present, you know? Yeah, you know. um And then as he walks off, she thanks him for saving her.
00:25:27
Speaker
Is that what you think I did? Oh, I said that backwards, so it's fine. Then he packages her up. You know what I mean? Lou finds of Cindy all wrapped up.
00:25:39
Speaker
You're a little too young to be thinking about BDSM, aren't you? Yeah, he's real proud of her for wrapping herself up. You know, i'm practicing her practice. Practicing her practice. Practicing her gift wrapping. There you go. um We cut to Lou and Cindy arriving at home and Lou's wife. i think her name is Betty. Yeah, Betty Lou.
00:25:58
Speaker
Betty Lou who? she Her whole thing in this movie is being is she's absolutely obsessed with having the best lights in all of the neighborhood. She's got to be the number one. Number one. But she's got to compete with Martha May Houvier.
00:26:12
Speaker
who is just already better looking, has bigger knockers, and also has a better house. She's got a fucking gun, a light gun. She got a cannon that shoots out fucking Christmas lights wild.
00:26:23
Speaker
Um, and we cut, then there's, they're just in the house and the phone rings and Lou picks it up. And the person at the other asks their fridge is running. And like, you should probably go get it. And he's like, now my fridge isn't running because no non-means in this fucking town trying to steal it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Yo, that's crime probably low as hell here. There's probably no crime at all.
00:26:45
Speaker
No. um And it's the Grinch on the other end of the phone just, you know, playing a prank. um And then he takes this garbage chute up to the mountain.
00:26:56
Speaker
um And Hazard's waist falls out behind him and he takes up to his cave. We cut to Cindy sitting in her room for to go to bed. It's like all dark. She's a flashlight.
00:27:07
Speaker
And she starts singing this Where Are You Christmas song. Brother. I just want you to know anybody else could have sang better than she did. I know she's a little girl, but it was fucking horrible. It was rough. Like the voice cracks. Yeah.
00:27:20
Speaker
yeah like Can we do more takes? I can't really sing, but like I wouldn't be doing that. Right. Maybe this was her one take. Yeah. I mean, they just did it one take and then they didn't make any edits at all.
00:27:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:36
Speaker
Oh, my God. No o oh no way All well, I don't have a date anymore. It's just canceled. so Really? I'm going to keep recording this podcast.
00:27:49
Speaker
Fucking bitch. ah Yeah, I mean, i I moved a lot of things around for that. So
00:27:58
Speaker
I honestly think – who
00:28:02
Speaker
I mean, i don't know. i don't even know what to say. So I'm just going to, we're just going to keep moving on with this. Fuck women. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's just fucking stupid. And it's just like, yeah, we're just, yeah we're just going to move on. and It's fine. Yeah. It's, um, yeah. I mean, Brian.
00:28:23
Speaker
Hopefully the recording doesn't take an impact, but we'll find out. No, you know, I mean, I'm just going to stick my finger in my ass and just pretend that my night went well. Right. ah we We cut to the Grinch entering his cave, and he catapults this hazardous waste he took from the dump at the mayor's. He has a big poster of the mayor's face.
00:28:41
Speaker
Because he don't like him. Yeah. And then he puts on a ah a robe. very It's like see-through. It's very sexy.
00:28:52
Speaker
Yeah, he does look sexy. And he looks at his heart through an x-ray, John, and his heart is down a size and a half. that's what's so That's what he wants. what it' Yeah, and you know he's like, I've shed the weight. I'm not putting it back on.
00:29:06
Speaker
Right. He then runs, does a full fucking sprint, hop, skip, jump into his bed. Swantons into his bed. Yeah, ah and he has no voicemails and then listens to his own voicemail message, which is kind of funny.
00:29:21
Speaker
ah And then I wrote zip lines into his chair, but this says zippiness. I'm not sure who did that. ah Autocorrect, but he does zip line into his chair. Imagine having a zip line from your bed to your couch.
00:29:33
Speaker
that's That's the ju dream. That's up, right? I mean, what else do you need? ever been zip lining? Yeah. I mean, this guy does need a TV, though. He's doing fucking nothing. He's got no TV. just sitting there staring at the wall.
00:29:44
Speaker
ah true That's true. Or as he says, staring into the abyss. Yeah. That's what I do on the daily. Yeah, I've been ziplining and I'm pretty sure, or I've just watched too many movies. I'm pretty sure that one of the times we went ziplining, uh, that, uh, I'm sorry. i just had a brain fart.
00:30:01
Speaker
Someone we went with got stuck in the middle. That's terrifying. But you know what actually happened
Personal Experiences and Humorous Debates
00:30:06
Speaker
to me once? Do you know that John that's caught? It's like, um, it's like what skiers get on. Oh, a gondola.
00:30:12
Speaker
Yeah. A gondola like circles around. Yeah. Um, My grandmother and I went on one. We weren't skiing. We were at like a fair or something. And it was like to like see like out into like the woods or whatever. it was like a lake or whatever. Legitimately got stuck up in this jar. Like the thing just oof just stopped. and we were just up there.
00:30:31
Speaker
That's tough. You're not afraid of heights, are you? No, but I feel like my older age, I've got a little bit more weird with heights. Yeah. That's why i i just wanted to get. I had the opportunity to zip line. I'm like, I'm just going to get this out of the way and say I did it.
00:30:44
Speaker
Yeah, did you like it? or Yeah, it was fun. You probably like that fucking harness squeezing your fucking nards, right? I mean, that was probably the best part. Yeah, you really feel like a rush, you know? Well, they didn't tell us, because it was Mexico, right? So, like, you know, they barely spoke English. But they didn't tell us that, like, the last zip line kind of, like, yeeted you straight into, like, a pond.
00:31:04
Speaker
Like, that's how you slow down. You just went into a pond. Oh, yeah, this sounds familiar, yeah. Yeah, so that was a little... you got wet. Yeah, wet. Wet. um so sitting in this fucking chair he tells max he has all the company he needs and he talks to his echo that keeps calling him an idiot uh that's fun that was like was pretty funny that lives in my head there are lines just live in my head yeah um he eats a beer bottle and just like straight to fucking eat it like yeah um yeah i'm not the num na numb um and then uh we cut to sandy sandy
00:31:38
Speaker
Cindy. I kept wanting to call her Sandy too and I'm not too sure why. But it does autocorrect. I just, you know, it's not me. Yeah, we cut to cinder block. Like, what are we doing? don't get this fucking shit.
00:31:49
Speaker
And she goes to these these fucking lesbos house. They called them bitties, but these are lesbians. I don't know. Bitties, yeah. They are lesbians. You know, they're they ah they are okay with everybody. Well, that's why they weren't originally supposed to get a kid when all the babies were being sent.
00:32:03
Speaker
Right, because they're lesbians. You can't prostrate how it works. Right. Sorry, you can adopt. But I didn't get this whole thing anyway. That's why there's no kids without dads there because no non-means.
00:32:15
Speaker
Yeah, they're forced to stay. um Also, like in that village, where are you going to go? like You're surrounded by mountains and ice. So, yeah. So, well, where could you go?
00:32:26
Speaker
Incest probably baked there. Oh, I mean, it must have started with incest. Right. That's why their noses are fucked. Yeah. We figured it out. Boom. um The who's are incest. So Cindy asks these ladies who are probably like a distant relative about the Grinch.
00:32:41
Speaker
And she records it. And ah the ladies tell her that babies drift down from Pomercella, I believe is what it's called. I did put it in quotes so wouldn't autocorrect it.
00:32:51
Speaker
um It's kind of like a basket with a fucking umbrella on it. And there was this funny-ass line that just cracked me up real good that this baby lands at this guy's doorstep, and he goes, Honey, the baby's here. looks like your boss. Yes. Like, yeah, you were fucking rinsing your boss out. Yeah, dude. Your wife's a whore. It's fucking hilarious, dude. Yeah, your wife's a fucking slut.
00:33:10
Speaker
It's a kid's movie, dude. um And then we see the Grinch's little basket float in, knocks his little kid out of the way. has a little sticker. He's fucking stupid. He kind of reminds me like, Chucky.
00:33:22
Speaker
Yeah, he is a bit like a chucker. ah And then, you know, the these fucking lesbians are partying all night long at these wild fucking parties. They're fucking orgies probably, right? yeah Yeah, I mean, there was that one guy, he was riding that other person like spanking him.
00:33:37
Speaker
like I don't know what the hell's going on. That did happen. I know, I know. Yeah. So he was outside all night and then they found him in the morning and then we kind of fast forward a little bit and they offered cookie. We're in a flashback, by the way. It's all a flashback.
00:33:52
Speaker
And they offer him a cookie and he eats the plate. like man And they're like, we knew he was special. Yeah, a little bit. Like if this kid doesn't have the tism, I don't know who does. Right. Yeah. Big.
00:34:05
Speaker
ah ah And then we see him in like, i don't know, middle school or whatever. And he's making a drawing of Santa getting shot down by a rocket. Hey, this makes sense. Who uses rockets? Al Qaeda.
00:34:19
Speaker
And who did 9-11? Al-Qaeda. What? A year before? The Grinch crashes, slay the towers? Oh my... Uh-oh. I'm going from ruining Christmas to fucking ruining the world. yeah I started a fucking world war. Oh my god. That's probably liked it. That's the crazy part.
00:34:39
Speaker
least Did he survive? the Grinch? Yeah. That remains to be seen. Okay. We don't know. No one's heard from him since. No one's heard from him since 2000. We don't know. It's true. He had one 2018.
00:34:51
Speaker
Yeah, I wanted to watch that. It's not... It's like a two and a half. It's like a two and a half. I'm gonna lick your scrotum. Watch. oh So anyways, um he, there's like the, in school, there's like this bring a gift for someone the next day or whatever. Fucking gayest shit i've ever heard. I would not do this, bro. No, I ain't bringing a gift for anybody. I'll bring these fucking nuts.
00:35:19
Speaker
um Why? Why would I bring my fucking nuts to school? just a Hand out. Yeah. No, call that like bubble gum. Like when you fucking pull your k nuts out of your pants and like jump to somebody. Oh, okay. They're called like the bubble gum prank. Yes.
00:35:33
Speaker
Yeah. Because it kind of looks like bubble gum. I get it. Like that kid that did it. I'm going to dox him. I gave him a dollar. Pull his nutsack out in science class and he did it. right, bleep this. Shouts. Missed that kid. Yeah, I don't. oh then we um Cindy goes on to interview ah Martha and Martha tells Cindy, she's like, oh, I don't remember much.
00:35:58
Speaker
And then she's like, I never had a thing for the Grinch. And Cindy's like, I didn't fucking ask. And um and ah You know, then she starts talking to mayor and the mayor is like, yo, you know, he had it out for Martha, but Martha had it out for the Grinch big.
00:36:13
Speaker
Yeah. um And the mayor and his friends bullied the Grinch as children about his beard, which is just like this. It just doesn't. You're eight years old. Did you have a beard? Yeah.
00:36:24
Speaker
To be fair, mom I also had a beard like when I was very young. That's fact. Yeah. I was there. you Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. um So anyways, this ah class ends and like he gets laughed at and everybody leaves and it's just...
00:36:46
Speaker
This fucking scene... Yeah, dude. Martha says she loves the colors red and green and she gives him a fucking stroke on the cheek. Oh god, yo. I know where all the blood in that little fucking green furry fuck's body went. Yeah.
00:36:59
Speaker
That went right to his fucking meat missile, dude. Are you kidding me? Yeah, dude. Man. we go know So she's good with a little bush. That's all I'm guessing, all right? you fucking along This guy's haired up. she's but yo this guy's This guy's fingers look like doggy dicks. i had look i absolutely i'm just talking about yeah yeah I get it. yeah I mean, he's just hairy. And it's just so funny because he goes back home and like the lesbians are telling Cindy that he was like, he has so much the Christmas spirit.
00:37:28
Speaker
He just wanted to fucking stuff somebody with it. you know good I mean, he does stuff someone with it. Yeah, and he makes he makes a big ah a big, it's like a Christmas topper with like kitchen utensils and stuff. It's an angel.
00:37:42
Speaker
Yeah, and ah and you know what an angel is? I just want you to fucking know that he's just fucking sitting there fucking stroking it to Martha and you hear this. Oh, Martha.
00:37:53
Speaker
Oh, my God. Oh, Martha. Oh, Martha. Oh, Martha. Oh, Martha. Oh, my God. That's fucking crazy you put a kid's movie. ah I mean, are we talking about? Yeah, I mean, he's like, I didn't put the I was debating because he goes, he goes, oh, Martha. And he goes, oh, Christmas. Oh, Christmas.
00:38:20
Speaker
He does! he fucking does! I'm not making this up. This is real. Kids fucking getting off to Martha and Christmas. Yeah, you know? Oh, Martha. It's fucking wild! You know what's even fucking wilder is they made that little kid fucking say that. they're like, yeah, do it again.
00:38:36
Speaker
Oh, Martha.
00:38:40
Speaker
Oh, Martha. Oh, Martha.
00:38:45
Speaker
i just Is that the clip that you're gonna save? I mean, i mean this this button, if we're talking about coming ever, I feel like this is just the... You know? Just a little kid?
00:38:58
Speaker
It's not about the little kid. It's not about dad. It's just... Oh, yeah, Martha. Oh, yeah, Martha. Fucking take it, bitch. How'd you find that sound clip? um i I put into YouTube ah Grinch... um Flashback scene? Flashback scene. Yeah, I found it. yeah and then I mean, if it makes it better, I can add the part where it goes, Oh, Christmas.
00:39:19
Speaker
Does it make it better? both home yeah mean it's not this no i mean it's yeah it's just it's just what it is and these fucking weirdos did it and it's not i didn't do it that was them Um, so anyways, he's fucking stroking it and, uh, he, decides to shave his face.
00:39:41
Speaker
The next day he goes to school and he has a bag over his head. Um, and the teacher asks him to take it off and, uh, he takes it off, but there's a, uh, he puts his, pulls a book up, like stands up straight word, upward. What? Straight, straight word. I can tell you what was fucking straight word. Oh my God.
00:40:01
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. But he's, you know, there's a book and the the teacher's like, put the book down. And he's a boot. Das boot. Das boot. Put das boot down, bitch.
00:40:13
Speaker
And he's got cuts over his face. And the class and even the teacher laughs at him. Like, um bro. And to put it in today's context, this dude crashes out. You know? He does crash out, yeah. And he fucking throws it. I wish we had an oh, Martha-like anger. Like, oh, Martha! Yeah, but then Martha's like... Martha!
00:40:32
Speaker
Martha's like, those muscles. Yeah. She's getting off to thinking about Kid Grinch when she's like 40. Yeah, I mean, she, yeah. yeah She likes him young.
00:40:43
Speaker
Yeah. um So he climbed up to Mount Crumpet. And it was cool. They did like this kind of fast-forward blend-y thing where it's like he's standing in the same spot he was as a kid.
00:40:54
Speaker
And he decides to just read the names of the Who's out of his phone book that he hates. um And he's just sickened at this Hubel-ee, Hubel-ation. yeah The Grinch asked Max for a sedative, which is a big hammer that he just fucking eats the face.
00:41:10
Speaker
And then we cut to Cindy who's trying to talk to her father. But he's like... They're all just, everyone in this movie is just so wrapped up in like being materialist and like Christmas and gifts and this and that and all that stuff. They lose sight of what it's really about.
00:41:24
Speaker
Your family. Unless you don't like them. Right. I mean, who likes their family? No, who likes all of their family? That's what I want to know. Right. Like i like all of it?
00:41:35
Speaker
Yeah. I like like maybe my dad. Maybe. On a good day. No, Big Len, Big Len champ right there. when Big Len's not having a flashback, he's all right.
00:41:45
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Can you do be having night terrors? Maybe that's what it's about. That's big. Yeah, that's crazy. Your dad has night terrors and you met me and we had a sleepover and I had a night terror. Yeah, but was never in... What the fuck was going on? I was scared.
00:41:59
Speaker
Yeah, that was... I mean, yeah, that wasn't... We talked about that Hereditary, it's Over 50 views. No big deal. um So anyways, ah he's like, yeah, talk to your mother. And then... ah She's busy shopping for lights. And then we cut and the mayor announces that they have the Whoville Holiday Cheer Meister. They need a nominee.
00:42:20
Speaker
And Cindy decides to nominate the Grinch. And the mayor tries to find a rule in his rule book, the book of Who. Who? I prefer the book of Eli.
00:42:31
Speaker
But anyways. ah Shout out. It's Denzel, right? Yeah, it's Denzel. Shout out Denzel and shout out Sir Gary Oldman. He's the villain. Mila Kunis. Shout out Mila Kunis.
00:42:47
Speaker
Yeah. So anyways. you know what the bad part is? I think she was underage in that seventy show. Which was peak.
00:43:00
Speaker
So anyways. but um He's trying to find this rule book to like that find a rule that would exclude the Grinch from this nomination. But in all reality, it doesn't. And Cindy calls him out for it and says that the award should go to the soul that needs it most. And the Grinch needs it. he needs to be saved.
00:43:19
Speaker
someone He needs God. And all of who's support the decision. And the mayor says the Grinch will never come down from the mountain. And when he doesn't, he's going to crowned the winner as the runner up.
00:43:30
Speaker
Don't worry. I know a cute little kid that is going to go up there and get the fucking Grinch down from his hidey hole. Yeah. you want You want to play Twister? With the Grinch? You got to understand. I'm just saying things that just come the top of my head. i don't know what they mean. It's better not to think about it.
00:43:50
Speaker
yeah I'm going to play Tic-Tac-Toe with your fucking titties. Yeah, yeah there go. Yeah. Do you think... do you yeah
00:44:06
Speaker
think Do you think that when these lesbians like got him, because like lesbians probably aren't great parents? I'm just kidding. um Do you think that they thought that he needed like green titty milk, not like regular breast milk? and they're like ah oh yeah Get the food coloring. Yeah, get the food coloring.
00:44:22
Speaker
ah anyways but so How would they be producing milk? Right, you need a pump. I don't even know if that's how it works. I don't think it even gets made until... I mean, what do I know?
00:44:33
Speaker
i don't know. Just go to fucking stewards. Shout out stewards.
00:44:39
Speaker
Yeah, we got no beef. You're gay. So what? we watch but You eat box. So do we. Who are we? ratmo I said so do we, but yeah. oh um i don't I don't know if you do. I don't.
00:44:51
Speaker
mean, she's probably eaten box more recently than I have. I'd say that. Oh, for sure. I mean, definitely cut that. That cannot be in the episode. No. So anyways, we cut to the Grinch who's asleep in his bed and he catches himself singing the fucking stupid Who songs they're singing. And he decides he needs to drown the noise out and he puts nails in a blender to drown the noise out. Yahoo.
00:45:09
Speaker
Horace. I think that's what they said. Horace Slughorn.
00:45:15
Speaker
He put some nails in a blender to try turn the noise out.
00:45:21
Speaker
There's a monkey from, like, The Monkey. Right, the ding, ding, ding one. Or The Monkey Shines. Go check out our episode on The Monkey. Movie sucks. Yeah, movie movie's fucking so mid. um But anyways...
00:45:36
Speaker
ah she goes through the doggy door. He goes through the Grinch's doggy door. i ah I wrote that the Grinch is taking headshots from the monkey. is. Yeah. He really is. And then he gets a ah tap on the shoulder and it's Cindy and she's just watching him take these fucking headshots.
00:45:53
Speaker
ah And the Grinch assumes that ah she's scared of him, but she isn't. And he tries to intimidate her, which has like been memed the fuck out nowadays. um And he rips his shirt off.
00:46:07
Speaker
ah For some reason, he just goes Hulk Hogan on her for some reason. And then it was funny. I don't think I've ever appreciated this before, but he breaks the fourth wall. And he's like kids these days. So desensitized.
00:46:18
Speaker
Oh, yeah. He just stares at the camera. I just found that hilarious. They broke the fourth wall like that. And she invites him to be the holiday cheermeister. And he's not interested. But when she mentioned that he won an award, he's like, hmm?
00:46:31
Speaker
Like, what'd you say? Like, huh? oh And she tells him that Martha May will be there. And he's like, oh really? And he's like, kind of playing.
00:46:43
Speaker
And then she's like, really, really? You're going to come? and he's like, no. And then he just shoots her down a garbage chute. And then, oh, Martha... I thought you' were going to hit that button.
00:46:55
Speaker
Oh, Martha. Isn't that button wild, though? i mean, i like it. While they put that in the fucking movie, was this the line you were thinking of or no? No. right. Well, there was a lot of them, but this one made me crack up big.
00:47:09
Speaker
This one, I paused the movie and pulled the sound bite. That's crazy. Yeah. Oh, Martha. um So anyways, she ends up in Whoville.
00:47:23
Speaker
Lou finds her and brings her the Whovillee. And this has also been ah mean pretty hard. The Grinch is debating whether he should go to this thing or not. And he looks at his his schedule and it's like ah four o'clock self-pity, self-loathing, stare into the abyss, solve world hunger.
Grinch's Plan and Christmas Chaos
00:47:43
Speaker
6.30, go to dinner with myself. I can't cancel on me again. He's like, I could push like i can push the self-loathing to nine. That's not what I want. It's so funny. It's just so fucking stupid, but it's hilarious. yeah um and He tries on a variety of clothes he's just not happy with, but then he hears a yodeler outside and takes his clothes.
00:48:06
Speaker
um I don't know. what What do you call these things? that are like I wrote overall slash jumpsuit. Yeah, but like, yeah, you know. What's those little fucks that the clogs wear? clogs?
00:48:18
Speaker
Yeah, like the... The clogs? Yeah, the... Like Irish people? Yeah, but like the other ones. Is it Swiss? Switzerland or Sweden? Wait, what? The ones that... The Yodel-A-He-Who people? Yeah, those fucks.
00:48:33
Speaker
Is that Poland?
00:48:37
Speaker
Holland. Holland, they have the clogs, right? I wrote what people play the yodel.
00:48:46
Speaker
Play the yodel. Yeah, and it says people in the Alps, Switzerland, Austria, and Germany. Okay. We call them Alp dwellers. That's what AI says. i didn't say that.
00:48:57
Speaker
Alp dwellers. But they got the little fucking clogs on them, right? Yeah, I mean, let's look at some pictures. People who dance in clogs. ah ah
00:49:10
Speaker
What people dance in clogs. Oh, yeah, here we go. Cloggers. draggger
00:49:19
Speaker
People in the Appalachian region of the United States and in various European countries are known for clog dancing. This is a percussive folk dance with its roots in step dancing from the English, Irish, and the Scottish and German settlers and incorporates a lot of elements of African and Cherokee Indian tradition.
00:49:37
Speaker
Yeah, like this. Yeah. big I mean, i was waiting for the Grinch...
00:49:43
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, he does look at himself, and he's like, ooh, he goes down his ass, he's like, pfft, ah, yeah, I'm not going. Yeah, we cut to the Hubelie, and mayor the mayor's about to present the Cheermeister Award, but the Grinch is not there.
00:49:54
Speaker
um And we see the Grinch who is still arguing with himself about going. And he gets sent down to shoot by Max, his dog. Dog's cute fuck, by the way. He's a cute dog. um And then ah he shoots out of the garbage. And as the mayor is awarding himself the Cheermeister Award.
00:50:12
Speaker
And he lands right on Martha's tits. Literally face in him. this is i mean, this is a childhood dream for him. He's like motorboating her. Yeah, just fucking give it to me, Martha, or what?
00:50:24
Speaker
Um, and then, ah the town is terrified and he asked for his award and says that he was promised a check. And Cindy's like, no, no check. Uh, and the mayor reunites him with his lesbian moms.
00:50:37
Speaker
Uh, and they put a sweater on them and they put them in the chair of cheer or i wrote AKA top Jew fucking toss him around. round roll round out na Right.
00:50:49
Speaker
Mazel tov or whatever. Yeah, I mean, that and make no mistake, that fucking mayor could definitely be wearing a yarmulke because he got a big, big bald spot like Jake. Yeah. Then don't they just like break glasses or some shit? Plates? Yeah, they break glass and the Grinch eats glass, so it works out.
00:51:05
Speaker
Confirmed you. Confirmed you. um And then we, there's like a montage. She has to judge a bunch of different food things. theres a pudding cook off. There's a, gets force fed fudge.
00:51:16
Speaker
He does. You know, ah he's on a Congo line and Martha's watching him and she's just fucking wet. oh She's just fucking flicking her shit. shit Yeah. But she's like getting off to him. like down his throat Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:30
Speaker
But then he gets like, he eventually gets like, he's like, yeah, is all you got? Is that all you got? Yeah. And this goo looks gooey. It's just gross looking food. It doesn't look good at all. Well, the one guy was like, this isn't even pudding. Here you go. I'm a fucking nut. Yeah. We see him win the, it's like a stocking jump, like beanbag race. Yeah. Beanbag race. And it plays that, that one song.
00:51:53
Speaker
Da da da da da. It's like when the when the fucking when Alex the Lion and the Zebra and Madagascar meet each other. They reunite on the island. get reunit on the island Oh, yeah. Where he's like, oh, sugar, honey, iced tea. Yeah. Yeah. um And then there's like this pass it on present thing they do.
00:52:13
Speaker
And they give the Grinch a present. And it's a razor, which gives him an immediate flashback. um And then the mayor proposes to Martha.
00:52:24
Speaker
martha And he's like, a brand new car paid for by the Whoville tax dollars. Yeah, Oh, my God. And he pulls out a big fucking ring for And...
00:52:36
Speaker
and She hasn't decided, but Grinch interrupts the whole thing and scratches the side of this new car. And he talks about how they're all just obsessed with gifts.
00:52:48
Speaker
And he's like, you have no idea how much these fucking shitty gifts you guys throw out in the garbage, and I get them all. And he has that fucking banger line that could hang himself on the shitty neckties he gets. I was like, yeah. I was like, kids movie? Yeah. but know Yeah.
00:53:03
Speaker
But this is like to the part where like, oh, no, you've kind of realized like the Grinch isn't the bad guy. Yeah, I mean, he's trying to roll capitalist pigs. Like everything was literally going fine until they just wanted to like prank his ass.
00:53:18
Speaker
Yeah. um And he says that he loves one tradition in particular, and that's the mistletoe, which he puts over his asshole, his literal asshole. He's like, who can all whatever kiss my...
00:53:31
Speaker
Yeah. Anus. And then he shaves the mayor's head like Bobby Lashley did to the Vince McMahon. And ah yeah he gives him a kiss and then he spits alcohol through a lighter and lights their Christmas tree on fire.
00:53:45
Speaker
Right. um And then, you know it's obviously all chaos and he tries to call a taxi and he's like, it's because I'm green. Yeah, dude, they got racism jokes in here too. hilarious um And then he steals this like mini toy car um and he crashes because he swerves out of the way of a child. Swerve out. um And this toy car has a massive, like a way too big of an explosion for anything. It's like a diehard explosion. Yeah. big ah um And we cut to the mayor telling Lou that he's hurt because of his family. He's just disappointed.
00:54:22
Speaker
Um, the Grinch is about to leave and he sees the who's putting up their spare tree and he's pissed. Uh, and there's four hours until Christmas. Uh, so he's sitting there stewing on top of his mountain and decides he's going to be the one to stop Christmas.
00:54:38
Speaker
Big. Good idea. And he goes inside and Max is dancing to to music about like dogs taking Christmas or something like that. Taking it up the ass. um And he fucking yeets Max outside and the dog falls into like a big pile of snow.
00:54:55
Speaker
And he pulls the dog up and he has like a snow beard. He's like, oh, i come on your face and it freezes. Yeah. Why is it freezing? i don't know. Cause we're in Antarctica or something.
00:55:07
Speaker
don't It's December in Boston or something like that. And this is where he gets the idea. I'm going to become Santa Claus.
00:55:15
Speaker
Oh Martha! Um, so anyways. Um, he makes himself a Santa outfit and he uses all this garbage he's collected to build a sleigh. Um, and they do a test run like he's the fucking dummy.
00:55:28
Speaker
Which is funny, but like also get out the way. Uh, and the airbags go off a little late. ah We cut to the Grinch watching Santa finish up his his rounds, delivering gifts.
00:55:45
Speaker
Yeah. And he realizes The Grinch realizes that he doesn't have any fucking reindeer. And he looks at Max. He's like, yep, I'm going to strap a fucking antler to your head. you Strapped up like a dyke.
00:55:56
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. who um He launches his sleigh and lands in the first house. It's like a fucking propeller. like Not propeller. It like propulses off the a off the ground. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like a fucking jet.
00:56:10
Speaker
um And Lou and his wife, Betty, wake up. But they think it's Santa. So they go back to sleep. And he tries like a professional Olympic dive into this chimney the Grinch does. He's stuck. and he says it's all water weight.
00:56:24
Speaker
Because who are you to judge him? Fucking water weight. He's big where it matters. And he's like hips. hip And he uses a massive – he does slide through and then uses a massive vacuum to suck all the Christmas decor out the jawn. I literally wrote out the jawn. That's what I wrote. Yeah. um And he takes all their food. i mean this is like a straight non-mean crime.
00:56:45
Speaker
yeah The Grinch is basically a black guy. yeah We're just stealing your shit. yeah And Cindy Lou who wakes up and ah he's about to fucking – the is about to take this tree and stuff it up his ass. No, up the chimney.
00:56:59
Speaker
And Cindy confronts him and he hides behind the tree. And this is obviously classic Grinch story. He tells her the light doesn't work and he's going to go fix it. um And then this was kind of funny. She's like, what is Christmas really about? And he sticks his head through goes vengeance.
00:57:14
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Grinch. But his face is full out and Cindy's too fucking a stupid to realize that this is the Grinch. I mean, she's too trustworthy. Right.
00:57:25
Speaker
If I saw a Grinch or a Namin or anybody in my house that I don't know, you know, Yeah, cla clack, clack. I don't have a... ain't got no blicky. What's a blicky? Like a pen?
00:57:36
Speaker
It's a gang term for gun. Blicky. I think so, yeah. Yeah. um So then he's like, oh it's presents. And she's like, that sucks. was hoping wasn't about just presents.
00:57:48
Speaker
And he sells sends her to bed. And she tells him not to forget about the Grinch and says, you know, he's clammy. But overall, he's a sweet kid. He's a sweet fucking kid, you know?
00:58:00
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, that where's that dude hairless, though? Honestly. I know, but... Yeah. We just gotta bleep that. mean, it's just crazy. I just don't know why we do this every time. It's just fucking crazy.
00:58:16
Speaker
Oh, Martha. Um... keep that it's not too bad we're just
00:58:42
Speaker
it's like that fucking it's like that soldier boy song but it's who ben ben bent ah He then proceeds to rob all these fucking houses.
00:58:53
Speaker
And we see him gooning over Martha. And he takes that fucking ring the mayor gifted her. And he goes to the mayor's house. And he pretends he's Martha. He's like, yes, I'm Martha. and they like bur yeah but yeah a but But like the the mayor's falling for. He's getting off in bed.
00:59:15
Speaker
It's straight up sound like somebody just opened my door. Really? It's crazy, bro. All right. Anyways, so he puts Max's ass to this guy's lips. He kisses this dog's ass. We were ass to mouth again.
00:59:26
Speaker
But with a dog this time. um He attaches this guy's bed to ah a car car cop car. the Probably the only cop in Whoville.
00:59:39
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, yes. And the sled just doesn't have enough fuel to get back up the mountain, so he has Max tuggged tug this bitch all the way up Crumpet. All way up.
00:59:51
Speaker
um Nothing can stop me. I'm all the way up. He's real proud of himself. He's up there, you know, and they're all gonna be ah sad and crying.
Grinch's Redemption and Emotional Growth
01:00:00
Speaker
And then we see Hoover the next morning and this police officer runs out and gets his patrol car, which eats fucking the mayor's bed out the fucking, out of his house.
01:00:11
Speaker
And he's pissed off that no one listened to about the Grinch and they all listen to this fucking little girl who he says hasn't even grown into her nose yet. You know? Damn.
01:00:28
Speaker
Stop.
01:00:31
Speaker
It's bad. It's just not okay. um I'm just saying, though, if you have a little tiny nimble hand, it probably is better for your ball bag, no? Oh, yeah, for sure, yeah. Especially if they're smooth and not, like, calloused. Also, they're small, they can fucking double fist or shit. Oh, my God.
01:00:50
Speaker
Double fist my shit. ah Yeah, i'm I'm not talking about children. i'm talking about people with small hands. I'm talking about people who are like Peter Dinklage height. Oh, okay. Midgets. You can't say that. Little people. Elves. before keep Elves. on You know, I want an elf to double fist my shit.
01:01:07
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. They just fucking stroke me till I come powder sugar. Maybe maybe you poke me in the anus with their little ear tip. know what mean? want get fucking probed. Anyways, so... Um...
01:01:30
Speaker
Uh, he stands up for his daughter and says he's glad. Lou does. And, uh, he realizes now that she's been trying to tell him this fucking movie. It's not about the gifts and the light. It's about his fucking family.
01:01:43
Speaker
And the mayor's like, yeah, sure, you're she's a fucking kid. Yeah. Um...
01:01:51
Speaker
So anyways, Betty um tongues down a little in front everybody. And Cindy's like, going to visit the Grinch now. And he's up there, meanwhile, dumping, trying to dump the gifts off the edge of the the mountain. And he starts pushing, but he hears the who's singing and holding hands. They're all fucking kumbaya, dude. Yeah, dude. Sitting there playing their fucking bongos and shit.
01:02:14
Speaker
And he's fucking pissed. And honestly... Dude, I never realized. I mean, i did, but like this rewatch, like his eyes look crazy. They're yellow and red. wild Yeah. I mean, that's like impressive.
01:02:25
Speaker
The fuck. the I mean, the the costume, the practical. Oh, yeah. like Everything's great. um And he realizes in the moment that maybe Christmas isn't just about gifts, which is what he previously thought.
01:02:40
Speaker
um And we watch him basically have a stroke and his heart grows three sizes. he does He does cry and you know he he's like, I love you, Max. ah And the sun hits his face and he says he's leaking. um I'm leaking? realizes he has to save the gifts after all.
01:03:00
Speaker
um And he tries to save the toys and the sled, but he's like, yeah, it's just like plastic that was probably made in
Humorous Conversations and Grinch's Forgiveness
01:03:06
Speaker
China. It's true. Yeah.
01:03:18
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Uh. Want to caress your taint? So he's. Yeah, caress it, please. so Your hairy ass taint?
01:03:29
Speaker
No, it had to crazy down there. Crazy, dude. Yeah. ah Ladies and gentlemen, shave your taint, please. I do it. Shout out Manske. Shout out Manske because my jaw is broken and send me a new one for free.
01:03:40
Speaker
For free. That's manscape. um So he has to save the sled now and he pulls it back up and... It's like my... That's wild, bro.
01:03:57
Speaker
That's crazy.
01:04:04
Speaker
wild well it's crazy
01:04:09
Speaker
So he pulls the sled back up and they bring it back down to Whoville and the brakes break. um And then there's like ah the Who's trying to help him slow the sled down by using Christmas lights. And then Lou tries to be a hero and stands in front of the sled to try to stop it. But it it was already slowing down. It already happened.
01:04:25
Speaker
Sorry, Lou. ah The Grinch comes out and there's an officer waiting. He's like, yep, I stole the shit. I'm sorry. You can arrest meray me. Spray with pepper spray.
01:04:40
Speaker
I'm good, dog. I'm good. Yeah. um The officer's like, yeah the mayor's like, yeah, arrest him. And the officer's like, no, no, no. He apologized. We're good. We're chilling.
01:04:50
Speaker
It doesn't matter that he burglarized everybody's house. We're good. He said, I'm sorry. And, you know, he's like, the officer's like, you know, we have a strict not mean, no not mean policy around here. But you're just, you're just lucky it's Christmas. So I didn't shoot first and then ask questions later. Yeah. You're green, not black. So you got that, you know. Yeah.
01:05:08
Speaker
yeah you You have green privilege. Yeah, you do. ah You get the N-word pass. Sorry. Yeah, i mean, you can definitely say it. um Martha gives... ah Then Martha, she's on top of a fucking Grinch's ball bag, and she slides down it and gives the mayor his ring back, and she's like, look, bro, I want that fucking green cock big. Yeah.
01:05:31
Speaker
Like, I want to take his fucking Mountain Dew bottle and stick it down my throat. Right. Like, his shit is probably going to... Like, it's so hairy. It's... All right. Now, here's a question we've got. going to tickle my clit. Big.
01:05:42
Speaker
We haven't gotten to this question yet and I'm surprised. Is he circed or uncirped? Un. Uncirped for sure, dude. Yeah, he's all natural. There's probably no procedures being done. He's not even human, so is it bestiality?
01:05:56
Speaker
I feel like lesbians kind of believe in like all natural, you know, like, hey, you know, do whatever you want to Oh, for sure Yeah. Like Hulk Hogan, you know? Yeah. Say your prayers, eat your vitamins. um So we think he has a hood on it.
01:06:10
Speaker
For sure. Yeah. And green. Yeah. So obviously she wants to suck on this little green John and he's hyped. um And then.
01:06:28
Speaker
my God. You know, she's like, don't forget what I fucking did for you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just saying, you know, start from the bottom. Now we're here. You know what talking about?
01:06:42
Speaker
Yeah, you know, he really is into the full spectrum of people. He's into fucking seven-year-olds and fucking 60-year-olds that are cooked. Yeah. But it's all right. But it's all right. He likes what he likes.
01:06:55
Speaker
They start saying that Fahu Baba Bob is. Yeah. Fahu Akbar. And they have a party in his cave. They film a couple beheading videos. And then that's the end of the movie. That's the end of the movie right there, guys.
01:07:07
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, we went fucking crazy. I'm just kidding. You know, like, obviously, lot of what we just said, I don't think you're going to be able hear. But just want everybody to know that I was just kidding. Everything is a joke?
01:07:19
Speaker
Yeah. Everything. mean, I feel like we shouldn't, like, explicitly say what we said. But all that stuff is very obviously bad and not okay. Right. But it's just jokes. But it's just jokes and it's just kind of funny to both of us. Right.
01:07:32
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, just bashing a girl's teeth in my cock. That's funny. That's bloody, though. I don't know what to say. of Where are you at with a rating, dog?
01:07:43
Speaker
going to let you go first because mine my my mine is mine's big. This movie is like... I want to see where you're at because I don't know where you're at. I know where I'm at.
01:07:55
Speaker
This movie's peak. this peak I told you, it's like in the big three of the early 2000s for me. and Movies that I watched that were five stars guaranteed. Yeah. So yeah, confirmed. Shrek won. Probably a five star movie.
01:08:09
Speaker
But, so is this one. Five stars for me. Oh, we're also giving five stars. Yeah, this movie fucking rips. Dang, five star. Now we got, we got Whiplash in this movie. The two movies we both give five star. Damn straight. Is it? Man.
01:08:26
Speaker
Best Christmas movie ever? i don't know.
Nostalgia and Movie Ratings
01:08:32
Speaker
Right now it is.
01:08:35
Speaker
i mean, Jack Frost wasn't. No.
01:08:40
Speaker
I mean, you're a big holdovers guy. I love the holdovers. I think we should next year, to be honest with you. I think it's a great movie. But this is, i mean, this is, this is, I mean, I'm just relieved because this is big on nostalgia for me that it holds up. You know, I was worried that it would be on nostalgia. It wouldn't hold up like some movies.
01:08:57
Speaker
And this is just better. Better. It's funnier now. Yeah, because you get the jokes that like... edit As an adult. And it's like, now I'm like, I'm like, because, you know, we've been collecting movies for like five years.
01:09:09
Speaker
And it's every time we'd be in any store, FYE, Bull Moose, the other guy in Jersey, ah Bandit. Yep. ah I'd be like, nah, i don't give a fuck about owning Christmas movies. So but they're always on TV, you know?
01:09:22
Speaker
Sure. And now with the way the world's went, you got to fucking, there's no live TV really anymore. It's all through a fucking app or something. Maybe I'll just, going have to buy this shit. You just got to at this point, right? I'm to to cop this. I don't know what form of like steel, Blu-ray.
01:09:38
Speaker
i don't know what it's going to be, but this is big. Big, big. i'm I'm really happy that you've come ah come around on owning the Christmas movies. Yeah, because I just don't own any. I mean, yeah and I got Mean One. i got Inside, and I got Edward Scissorhands.
01:09:55
Speaker
Yeah. I got Fat Man, and I got... but Like, you don't have any of, like, the... I don't think I even own the Santa Claus, to be honest with you. Damn, really? I got the three-pack. That's a core memory. That one I'm hoping holds up, too.
01:10:07
Speaker
Yeah, i don't I haven't watched that in literally And then year, we'll just do Santa Claus 2. Because that one's better, if I remember correctly. love Santa Claus 2. Yeah, it's great. It's it with the plastic one. They make a copy of him.
01:10:18
Speaker
Yeah, he's like a Ken doll of Tim Allen. Yeah, Tim Allen. Oh, Martha. all right, well, we both give it a five-star. That rarely happens on this podcast. It's very true. hope you enjoyed whatever you're able to hear.
01:10:33
Speaker
um We'll do a... Plug it in, plug it in.
Social Media and Podcast Sign-Off
01:10:38
Speaker
So, follow us on Instagram, 2Guys1ScreenPod. Send any comments, concerns, movie requests to 2Guys1ScreenPod at gmail.com.
01:10:46
Speaker
Follow us on YouTube, TikTok. Follow us individually Letterboxd. Send us a voicemail, 508A, fist us. Walk me up, send me in the mail. 508-8-DipTip, 6-minute limit, 12-person maximum, ass to mouth.
01:11:00
Speaker
Yeah. And then go listen to our physical media podcast. Yeah, you'll want it. It's coming sooner. It's on the same page. or Yeah, it's coming really soon. You're going to get a holiday recap. I'm sending links to my family members right now, the shit that I want. Yeah, only buy me physical media. Also, we're recording this in October, so don't worry. It's plenty of lead time.
01:11:24
Speaker
Yeah. ah Next week, we are reviewing a movie, another one that I haven't watched since I was pre-PBS and Home Alone. o keep saying next week, and I keep forgetting we're doing two two a week, so I don't know what day that that would be gonna look really quickly uh friday yeah friday is home alone and then a week from today you're getting an episode on die hard guess who's back alan rickman how hell yeah hell yeah oh bruce oh yeah um and that's fucking it you know that's it yo um we'll see you guys on friday yeah fucking toodles and a half
01:12:08
Speaker
Yeah, and Mark, I'm going to – I don't got anything good for you today, Mark. Fuck you, you know? Just fuck you and – yeah. yeah