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Ep 90: It Came From Outer Space (Dirka Classic Movies)
65 Plays5 months ago
Flashback to the heyday of corny sci-fi with this Universal classic about a meteor that may have brought aliens to Earth who are abducting and replacing the townsfolk for nefarious purposes, or are they?! Our friend, and Derrick and Whitney's tattoo artist, Zip, joins us for this one to lend us his classic horror-sci-fi knowledge!
Get bonus content for $3 a month at patreon.com/worsepeople
Find Zip's work and book tattoos via his Instagram at @zip_tattooist
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Transcript
Introduction & Welcome
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back for another installation of Derka Classic Movies. This week, it came from outer space. I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. I'm Jack. And I'm Zip. And this is Bad Movies. Worst People.
00:00:35
Speaker
So we are awake we are welcoming zip. Thank you for coming out. Welcome. zib Thank you for having me. Thank you for joining us. and Welcome to the golf club. Yes. Thank you. Zip is a very long time friend of mine. We've known each other about 25 years. Give a take. And an accomplished tattoo artist. One of my favorites. In fact, he has an entire arm of mine. Whoa. The only ones of yours. At his house? I think you keep it at me in your shop, right? In a jar. From now behind in a jar, right? Of course. That's a display arm. It is. It is. If you've seen my arm, it is. Actually, there was a tattoo artist in town not to deviate from the point that used to... Oh, no, that's what we do.
00:01:14
Speaker
He carried around like ah skins of a dude that he had tattooed that had died and willed his skin to him. So he would carry. His name was Rocket Rick. I was strangely talking about this the other day with somebody. I was like, can I will like parts of my body? So that answers part of
Humorous Afterlife Discussions
00:01:30
Speaker
it. I don't know if you can do a nowy it nowadays. I want someone to make dominoes out of my thigh bone. I think that would be intense. That would be. Talk about throwing balls. Can we have both femurs? Sure. All right. I want a candle made out of my hand. We're doing that. But yeah, so that's cool. You can actually leave. He had him in big ass picture frames and he was just carrying him around the conventions. Yeah. I'll deviate from that. You ever heard of Necro pants? No. Just Google Necro pants. It's a Swedish thing where like when someone dies, you can use their skin to make pants. And it's insane. The image is going to live with you for a little bit. Okay. And it's not like a, well, I was gonna say it's not a weird thing. It's a very weird thing. It's not a mean spirited thing. You give somebody your leg skin. And that's something we've talked about. Your legs need to be warm. It's Sweden. Any extra layers you can get, dude. Or is it Iceland? It might be Iceland. Well, Iceland's not cold. It's Greenland. No, I don't know. Just Google Necropants and you'll get there, pal. I'm not doing it right now. All right. I don't want to put on incognito mode. I want the JNCO jeans version of the Necro pants. You're going to get someone with a big skin. I'm looking for like one of my shorter friends. Let me do like Capri pants. Necro bromutas. Just make friends. Are you going to get it from me? I'm going to get bleep. I'm going to have Koolats made out of his skin. Make friends with whoever's going to suit your pant needs.
00:02:54
Speaker
and'm Just walking up to new friends, putting your leg next to theirs. like Yeah, we can be friends. That's how you make friends. You got nice skin. I don't think you'd get kulats from Bleep, but you'd definitely get some pedal pushers went from him. It puts the lotion in the basket. ah Love you Bleep and Bleep. Would you wear me? I'd wear the shit out of me. brush
00:03:17
Speaker
So, yes, welcome, zip thank you for coming and joining us. well Thank you for having me. We are talking this week about it came from outer space from 1953. Rated approved. Uh-huh. Rated A. Because back when things were either approved or not, you said it's 53 53. Damn. Eighty one whole minutes directed by Jack Arnold. who directed a lot of shit, shit I've seen. ah The creature, the creature from the Black Lagoon, tarantula, the incredible shrinking man. He also did a bunch of episodes of the Brady Bunch, Buck Rogers, Love boatat
Movie Restoration Critique
00:03:49
Speaker
so our we talking love Boat, Now we're in my wheelhouse, playboy. That was his last credit, was the Love Boat. I'm like, did that kill him? Yeah. I don't know if he's dead. I didn't look. rest Presumably. I'm sure. I'm sure of it.
00:04:02
Speaker
His spirit, at least, you know, he's got to crush it. I mean, after Love Boat, you're dead inside, right? Yeah. Yeah. So the movie starts with a disco ball crashing into the screen. Yep. Did you see the strings? Oh, yeah, definitely. Which time? Yeah, exactly. It was like a rope was flinging this ball to the camera. Right. I should mention we watched this in the. A flaming soccer ball. 4K. Flaming soccer ball is better than a disco ball. Yeah. We watched this in the 4K that I got. I'd rather have a disco ball. I got this from the Universal Vaults, whatever collection. As soon as we started this, I was like, this shouldn't be in 4K. This wasn't needed. But you are who you are, Derek. Get that shit in 4K. You know you want to. I look it up. I'm like, well, it's available on DVD, Blu-ray, and 4K.
00:04:51
Speaker
Click. We all know what he chose. The Blu-ray is $5. The 4K is $40. No, that wasn't the case. No, no, I know you wouldn't do that. That wasn't the case with this one. This 4K was not that expensive. Not this one. That means he's done that before. He has. Was it robot jocks? No, that's all Blu-ray. Oh, yeah.
00:05:11
Speaker
ah This takes place in the spring water. Apparently fictional town, according to IMDb, of Sandrock, Arizona. This is not Arizona. This is very clearly the Mojave Desert. Yeah, California. And also Universal Studios back lots. We got a lot of matte paintings here. But not pretty matte painting paintings. Well, it's hard to tell because this movie, much like the cast, is not in color. That's true. Like it's 50 something, 53. And he means that in more than one way for the cast. Oh yeah. No, I mean that in the worst way for them. Did you see on the license plate of the vehicle, for one, it was in the front of the car and I don't think Arizona has ever had. That's how you know it's California. Well, it was an Arizona plate. Right. And it said 53 was on the plate. It wasn't a tag. So did you have to get a new plate every year?
00:05:59
Speaker
I wonder, they were keeping that steel industry booming. Instead of a little sticker. Just what number they were up to on license plates? What if that was the year of the vehicle? This was the 53rd corner. Well, it was the year of the movie, too. That's what I'm saying, maybe they put the year of the vehicle on license plates. That way you couldn't do it. Johnny, swap them up and put a 53 on a 64. Oh, maybe. That's going to look weird. It's going to be strange. It's going to be strange. It starts with John and Ellen. played by some people who I didn't bother to write down. I don't think I care for any actor, actress's name. We just kept comparing to people that we thought they looked like. John was what? Oh, John's a chameleon. He's a chameleon. He was four different actors at least. Skinny John Cena. What else did we say? Phil Hartman. Phil Hartman. Scott Thompson. Scott Thompson. And what else did we get? There was one more. Tom Jane. Tom Jane. America's Sweetheart, Tom Jane. It depended on what
00:06:48
Speaker
The angle you were looking at. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Even at one time when he was out of the side, he looked like a ah young William Shatner. Yeah. Yeah. later There was a Shatner. Is it just the lighting? He also kind of acts like a young William Shatner. Kind of. Yeah. They went to the same school. He's not out there banging anything that moves, though. Nope. Just Ellen. That's why he didn't bang Ellen. She's not green enough. I need to talk to my mother. To be fair, in Johnny's defense, okay, every time he tried to get with Alan, something would happen. That's true. A meteor would crash, or somebody would knock on his door, a little piss ant kid. That's right. A shitty space cadet. So it's like the universe is giving you the ultimate- Cock-block. Stop, dude. You guys do not belong together. This shithead sheriff would come along and be like, look, I knew her dad. I'm just looking out for her. I don't want to fuck her or anything. Oh, Matt wants to fuck her. Totally. Totally. I'm just looking out for her. She's always with you. That's a problem. See, I can disappear you. I couldn't tell. There's a lot of room in the desert for you. There's a thousand ways this desert could kill you. It was very late in the movie when they finally said he was an astronomer, but they kept hinting at like he's some kind of like no good. No, they say a pretty. Yeah, I think it's a pretty early. They said something about stars and stuff, but they're talking about stuff he's writing and whatever. And I was like, so is he a science fiction writer? Is he like, I wasn't clear on what he was doing. I mean, it was nobody has a telescope like that guy and he's not an astronomer. Yeah, I don't know. Look, this movie was based on a story film treatment written by Ray Radbury. Ray Bradbury has a fucking telescope like that. It's also the 50s. Dude, he picked that thing up like three packs of filterless smokes. Also, Ray Bradbury. Ray Bradbury's telescope was pointed at his neighbor, not at the skies. Why do you have such an expensive telescope? Hello, neighbor.
00:08:34
Speaker
It's like the beginning of of a minute work. Oh yeah. Oh wow. So yeah, they have like this back and forth flirting, shit talking kind of thing going on, which is interrupted. Oh, I had to mention this first because I know Whitney will probably know what she's talking about. The girl is like something, something astrology. She's like, I'm a Scorpio and I pair well with the Sagittarius. Bullshit. Anybody knows that a scorpion, a Sagittarius fight all the fucking time. Everybody knows in retro. The only there are two signs. Mars is retro. Nope. Retro. Great. There are two signs that get along with what Mars. Mars is Gatorade. that That's the whole thing off. I mean, it's just it's a shocker that I have a Scorpio married a Scorpio. That's fucking weird.
00:09:24
Speaker
But it could either be extremely amazing or extremely bad. No in between. Depends on the day. So we're extremely amazing. It does depend on the day. It does. It really does. There's been more than one time where she's told me there's a lot of room in the desert. I'm putting this in official recordings because I ever disappeared. It may not be the 50s, but there's still a lot of room in the desert. He is not suicidal. I'm going to say right now, a Pisces and a cancer are Scorpio's best friends. period cancer. I know fish and crab. Yeah, because that' scar I know things scorpion. Scorpio is a water sign as well. New to sea under the sea. They all like to be under the sea. Darling, it's better down where it's wetter. Take it from me. I just had to mention it because when she said that in the movie, Whitney was like, that's bullshit. i save it save And then I fell asleep.
00:10:14
Speaker
i was having trouble staying awake too but i don't blame the movie i'm not blaming the movie no watch the i was saying yeah i was warm all day i blame like four hours of sleep and margaritas i was warm all day and then drank three of your father's delicious margaritas and then came home into a cold,
Aliens and 1950s Racial Tensions
00:10:33
Speaker
dark room and you put on a black and white movie and I was like. To be fair, my dad's margaritas consists primarily of tequila. The gripping dialogue wasn't enough to keep you enthralled. Yeah. What about what about character development?
00:10:48
Speaker
There was character development. Yeah. The guy started out and he really believed in the aliens. And then at the end, he really believed in the aliens. Oh, he convinced convinced everybody. Well, he convinced them by the time they finally saw him. He he he fought through adversity. I had nothing to see here, folks. It's a spaceship taking off back to your homes. Is this movie like an allegory for like black people moving into the neighborhood in the 50s? That's a black. Honestly, yeah. Because you think about it like these aliens come in. So like you just talk about it real quick. So we're not going step by step here. Oh, yeah. This alien ship crashes and it's got this fucking weird one eyed goopy creature in it. It is a flashlight.
00:11:30
Speaker
And like basically they didn't want to be here wrapped in cotton candy. They're not malevolent. They're not benevolent. They don't give a shit. They like landed here and they're like, fuck. It's like if you were driving across the country and you broke down in Oklahoma and you're like, well, what am I what am I doing now? I do like the one line he said says is we could hurt you, but we will not. They're trying their hardest to avoid people because they're like, well, you're going to kill us because we're different than you. If you would, land that's hence my kind my comparison. to Yeah, that could be. I mean, ah in 1953, most likely yeah you're in the real neighborhood, boy. There wasn't one. Keep on moving along there. We're there anyone that was not white in this movie. I fell asleep No, even though the aliens kind of white you had white cotton candy That turned into smoke. You know what color it was I got two choices, man So it's just I don't know but I agree with you
00:12:31
Speaker
So there's the meteor comes crashing down. And my first thought was, this is just Iron Man like testing his new suit. But it's not. It's the meteor. Yeah. Because I was just thinking about that first movie and how like he's like, I spent all this money on this suit and immediately crashed it. so He's got more money. Come on.
00:12:48
Speaker
But they go to check out the ship. He didn't have Jarvis. Huh? He didn't have Jarvis. That's why that's what the problem was. ah Do you think the, who, was it Lucas that did Star Wars? Yeah. Okay. Whoa. She gets confused because what she thinks it's Kermit. Yeah. Cause that's all right. That's all right. My movie here. i know I watched it came from outer space and I thought that breathing's pretty fucking cool, man. Right? Pitch black and you hear some breathing. You know, it's menacing. Exactly. Like, do you think that's what happened? Oh, yeah. I mean, this guy, you immediately was like Darth Vader. I think if it invoked it for me, it probably sparked something in him where he's like, I love this this just dark breathing thing. I mean, he gets it from a lot of different places. I mean, Buck Rogers was a big influence on Star Wars and this guy directed Buck Rogers and the writer wrote. I'd be shocked if this isn't one of George Lucas's like movies he watched. You know, we should ask him. I'd love to have it. He's not returning my calls.
00:13:42
Speaker
I'll try. we have long on When you send them nudes, yeah you know, they tend to do that. That's me again. I'm coming out to Skinwalker Rich Skywalker Ranch. I won't be ignored. ignore george So do we need to get in good with Favreau first before we get in with Lucas? I'd rather hang out with Jon Favreau than Dorian Adams. I'm going to get cocktails with Dave Filoni. He can watch me drink if he doesn't. He probably doesn't. You've seen that hat. Yeah, that's a non-drinking hat. It's a dad hat. Are you talking about the wide brim? It's like an Indiana Jones, but you got it from Ozark Trail. So it's almost like an Orthodox hat.
00:14:17
Speaker
and What's an Orthodox hat? orthodox like god I love that. Oh, no. it's it I think I nailed it perfectly. Yeah, no, it's more of a it's it's like he thinks he's a cowboy, but also he's never left a basement. It's also flat around. Not all the way around. No, the sides are up a little. Oh, so no, not Orthodox. No, but he's always wearing it. But we get the aliens point of view, which I guess they just probably put like a warped lens. But I like this. I love this lens. It's like a fish lens. Weird fish eye. Yeah. Yeah. I imagine if I watch this in the fifties, it would have blown me away. Yeah. it's cool Oh, it looked fun and cool now. Yeah. One of the bits of trivia I read and it says on the cover of this thing because obviously this isn't in 3D. I don't have a 3D TV and I wouldn't ever spend the money on that.
00:14:59
Speaker
But this was the first movie that Universal put out in 3D. Oh, wow. All right. So I could imagine that. Oh, yeah. That's why the the point of view and yeah flying at you. I bet you that would have been like, yeah. ah This chick scream would have got you a couple of times, too, because they crank the volume on that. Holy shit. i am They wanted you to be sitting there just chilling all of a sudden. Oh, no, I don't like that. It was. Oh, I'm not going to be able to hear what you can't hear, but shit. Yeah. No, I'm not going to do it. It's almost like that. The tickler. Oh, yeah. The tingler. The tingler. The tingler. The tingler. It's like what are we talking about now? Like the random screens you would hear in that. Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:39
Speaker
the blood someone next to you right now. The tingler, by the way, previous or classic movies episode, our first one from January, January, January. january It was January because I was drinking a lot of gin. And this alien ah leaves right now. This alien leaves snail trails of sparkles everywhere ago. Oh, yeah. Cool. It is dripper dandruff. Definitely stripper dandruff. It is some stripper walking home, sorry, exotic dancer. Or Liberace. It is Arizona, dude. He's sweating that shit. What was that? Sweat sequence. What was the guy in the jackass movie with all the glitter? Oh, Rip Taylor. Rip Taylor. It is Rip Taylor. It's Rip Taylor. that's He was just out in the desert. Let's put some glitter here, boys.
00:16:22
Speaker
i Miss that you don't know who that is later on when Ellen's been kidnapped It's a good thing because when John gets to his house and that glitters all over the place She would have been like I thought we were getting married. Yeah, we' we're supposed to be exclusive. What's what's that skanks name? ah by I must have been when I was asleep. I was crafting, I was making a birthday card. Yeah, I was making a birthday card. It's sort it's okay, relax. Shit, now I gotta come up with a birthday card for her. I put a bunch of glue in a poster board. I was throwing glitter at it. I was writing, I love you, Ellen. I forgot her name for a second. So did he, though. I love you, Ellen. Ellen, is it right? Ellen, yeah. Should I put an H there? I'll make it into it like a happy face. It's gonna make this little robot right here.
00:17:06
Speaker
Little glittery robot. Happy accidents. happy No mistakes, just happy accidents. well Apparently they harassed their neighbor Pete in the middle of the night to taking them out to this crash site in this terrifying go-cart helicopter. Is he his neighbor? That's what he was saying. Yeah. Like, did you hear the meteorite? And he's like, I didn't hear nothing until you were banging on my door. Yeah. The yeah the convertible helicopter. Yeah. Yeah. I want to ride this. bitch Do you know why? Do you? Yes. This should be a coin operated thing in front of Kmart. This is more dangerous than the fucking gyrocopter from Mad Max. Absolutely. i Oh, definitely. I feel more secure in that thing for sure. Would you ride it with me, though?
00:17:45
Speaker
What, in the convertible one? Yeah. No. He's too tall. I'm in this helicopter with the cops down. I can't even walk underneath your ceiling fan without having to duck. To be fair, I'm the only one that cares. Yeah. That's the simulator for what you're talking about is walking under your fucking feet. And I'm fine under that, so I would be about- You'd be good. You and all the short people. I would just have to make sure my hair is in a braid. I was going to say, I think I'm wearing braids from now on when I come over here. It takes off my man bun. So I like when they fly this convertible over the smoking
Gender Roles in the 1950s
00:18:18
Speaker
crater. It's just a smoking pit in the earth. And Ellen's like, it's so beautiful. So beautiful. It's an asshole. You're staring into a prolapsed asshole. Yeah, 1,000%. It's beautiful. I'm going to take your girl out more, dude. Well, I mean, he would always tell her, you know, stay. They've only. Oh, my God. Everybody in this movie to this woman, every time a man is walking to do something and she tries to stay here, stay here. Uh huh. Does she listen, though? Listen, yeah. Ladies belong in the back, you see. No, she doesn't listen because she's right there.
00:18:52
Speaker
No, she doesn't listen, and then she gets kidnapped by aliens. Oh, does she? Yeah. Always listen to men. Oh, she does. Yes, she does. I do remember that part. I miss that part, but I know that she did. You fell asleep. We were awake. Yeah, we were able to see. Oh, we got you. Jack and Zipper here to fill my holes for women. We are so late. It's crazy. All right, I'll go second. You want that extra lube? Heads or tails? ah
00:19:15
Speaker
My sister always said one man's coming is another man's lube. Oh, come on. Why does she always say that? Why the fuck would she say that? Does she say it like it's people's funerals? well you know what they say this is grandma's funeral well one man comes another man's lube you know church and the priest is like what do they say at church i almost said so say we all and that's definitely battle star galactic may the force be with you yeah close peace be with you and also with you peace be with you and also with you another man's lube what it's gonna be her dying words damn
00:19:48
Speaker
Dare my children, one man's come. Is another man's lube? She doesn't have children. Well, it's going to be her dying words to somebody's children if I have my way. Tell your children. Tell your children. Gather the townsfolk. I have to tell them about a secret treasure. One man's comes in a man's lube. Gotcha. Where were we? Mucus plug, I believe. John goes into the prolapse anus and finds the mucus plug. Yes, he does. really The soccer ball, yes.
00:20:20
Speaker
And like as soon as he finds it. I really did like the ah the miniature Johnny that they put there. Uh-huh. When they did the wide shot of it to make it look massive. so Because I was digging a big hole, man. We dug a hole in this little hole. That's what we got. it i got a little We got a little Johnny we're going to throw in there. GI Johnny. It might be because I was stoned. But at first, when it showed like the back view of him, I thought that's what he was seeing. like He saw the back of a doppelganger of him. Of himself? Oh. I was like, oh, that's kind of creepy. And then also like, oh, no, it's him looking at the ship. I'm an idiot. ah But like he looks in, and like this alien is looking right at him, but he can't see it?
00:20:55
Speaker
Yeah, nobody saw him. He's in the dark. Well, yeah, it was supposed to be night, but it looked like it was five in the afternoon. Yeah, because they all say in the middle of the night and I'm like, the sun in the sky would disagree. I mean, they did the same thing for this island earth. I don't know if you've ever seen that. I haven't seen that one. Classic gem. Oh, Jesus. What was it? Most of the ones at this island earth. It's the one with the mutants. I don't know. Actually, you know, I read a thing in the IMDB trivia, so hey, it might be true. ah Apparently the designers for this did two different types of aliens. And one of them was the one that ended up being used in the Silent Earth. As soon as you said that, I was like, why didn't you just read this? It was that. Nice tie in. But every night scene looked like it was, you know, three in the afternoon. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was funny when they were tossing out road flares. I'm like, you don't need road flares. It's two in the afternoon. Right. Everybody's headlights were on, so you knew it was nighttime. Oh, that's how you knew. That's how you knew it was nighttime. And they said it was midnight.
00:21:51
Speaker
Well, it's a desert. It's a desert. The desert's always bright and hot. It was a full moon, guys. And it was February, so it was pretty close to the earth. Some more astrology shit over here. She's a witch. Burn her! That is astronomy, and I love astronomy. But so there's a landslide that closes the ship in. So he's the only person who's seen it. And everybody thinks he's a fucking nut bar this whole time. Dude, they love these crazy hands. Crazy, I tell you. Crazy. It's insane. Lock them up, man. Lock them up, man. They set up one shot of these rocks falling and film it from like two angles and just kept going back and forth. They milked it, for sure. They loved this shot. They loved the rotating boulder. The end over end rotator. This is when it goes on so long, I was like, is the crater filled now? It should be. It should be full, like completely full, just to the top.
00:22:39
Speaker
But all he got hit with was potting soil. Oh, dude, his boulders are falling. They're the size of like a fourth grader. And he's down there just getting like, yeah, like just handfuls of dust thrown at him. It's like he got married and thrown rice at him at this point. Well, they didn't want to get him dirty. Why not? Because he's a movie star. He's only got one suit. One suit, the whole fucking movie. And what was this suit made out of? It was multiple days. Wool. Thick? No, it looked like carpet padding. The carpet padding. Yeah, he's got the elbow patches and stuff. I'm like, this is not a desert suit. No. But that's how you know he's a doctor type. In 1953, global warming, in 1953, February of 1953, at midnight, it was definitely 30 degrees outside. I mean, he did do the little cold rub your hands together and blow on them kind of thing. Right? That's fair. But in the daytime, you're still looking at like 70 degrees. Even though we all live in the desert, we're still having trouble connecting cold with it because we're recording this in July when it's coming out. Yeah. And there's no such thing as cold. I think it's like 90 outside right now. Yeah, the sun is down for a while. And it's 8.16. So it's about 100 because I was looking last night and it said it was going to be 101 at 8 p.m. Jesus.
00:23:56
Speaker
you check it lady 106 I think it's something someone said sorry it went down 101 yeah oh wow yeah that's much better you know it's flabbergasted but does it feel like 101 or does it feel like 99 the only way you get cold in Arizona in the summer especially down here in the desert is by spending a lot of money Yes, that's why I love coming here though. it's It's fit for Danny DeVito in fucking Batman Returns. It's just great. Oh, and I crank it down when we're recording. I'm like, yeah I'm a nice guy like that. Right. I have a line here. I think it's something someone said. kidding I think it's something someone said. I don't remember why I wrote it down. Oh, huge ball jammed into the side of the crater. Yeah. And I was like.
00:24:39
Speaker
Is that what she said or something? That's what they said. It's 1952, about, eh? He doesn't know what to say about seeing this ball. So he's like, I've been changed. I saw something down there. Something. Something. There's some ball in the crater. Something. I'm just going to watch Twilight Zone when you guys leave. He says that's the one. He really does. Do you think he watches it? ah Yeah, I think he has intent and he falls asleep because he's deprived of sleep. No, I watch TV. Look, I was busy not sleeping last night, watching movies. What did you watch last night? ah By Dawn's early light, starring Powers Booth, James Earl Jones, Rip Torn. Wow.
00:25:23
Speaker
ah The fucking powerhouse what it was and somebody else who was awesome I can't remember off the top my head and then also blow out Okay with John Travolta before he was a cartoon character and John Lithgow Okay balls in a wall. Yeah, the cops arrived. That's a great segue. Anyway back to ball wall here little wall this tonight on Fox So the cops arrive. We have Sheriff Matt, who's kind of a dick face. He's a simp. Oh, yeah. And deputy fucking bum fuck. I don't think he gets a name now. But basically, they're just telling they're telling John, like, no, you're fucking crazy, dude. there There's no Martians. And I was waiting for him to be like, I never said they were from Mars.
00:26:01
Speaker
Hey guys after this episode I really kind of want to go out and get a beer. What are you thinking? I mean okay look the thing is I deal with beer so much in my life I want something else. I'm i'm fine with beer but I want like a stiff cocktail or a nice glass of whiskey. You know the music box is just down the way and you can get an awesome cocktail when they even have like tombstone and other great beers on tap. The music box, where would I find that? Oh, you mean the music box at 6951 East 22nd Street in yeah Tucson, Arizona. Right down there at 22nd and Co. Yeah, they've got a great selection of whiskey, gin, tequila, mezcal, other spirits. Ooh, sometimes they have like putting shots and jello shots. You're putting me on. And depending on the night of the week, we can get karaoke, live music. It's great. Ooh, unhappy hour. on Oh, it's Wednesday. It's unhappy hour.
00:26:47
Speaker
Yeah. I'm in. You guys are selling me. Let's go to the Music Box Lounge, right now. Let's go!
00:26:56
Speaker
Sharks of the Corn? Lyra Shark? Cocaine Shark? Shark-topus? Yeah.
Deception by Alien Illusions
00:27:03
Speaker
Those are all real movies. Join me, Steve Coates, as each week I take a comedic look at the bizarre world of Shark-sploitation cinema on Bucket of Chum, the Shark Movie Podcast.
00:27:17
Speaker
They're leaving the crash site and then like they almost crash into the alien or he like projects an image Yes, they see it, but it kind of either goes through them becomes ethereal Yeah, it's projecting itself as some sort of an illusion It's hard to tell because it's like they drive through him right yeah or it's sorry It's because they even say like did you hit it? Yeah. And they get out, you know, like you would. You get out of your car. Oh, if I suspect aliens always get out of my car yeah without my pocket gun. Is there someone that's going to contact gets out of their car? Is there something out there that might murder me? I'm going to get out and check. I just love how casual this guy is. He's got a fucking revolver. No holster or nothing. It's in the glove box and it's in his pocket. Fifties in fucking Arizona, man. I think you just stopped at fifties. Yeah. OK, true. It's also Arizona now.
00:28:05
Speaker
I'm like, that's why I said that. like You don't have a van gun? That's weird. You don't got a pocket gun? You don't got pocket guns? Oh yeah, you got that holster underneath your... No, no, no, it sits in my cup holder. Oh yeah. What do I want? I want the... The 380, the Pearl handle 380. Yeah. The one Morgan Fairchild uses in Phantom of the Mall. Is there a phantom in the mall? Some people... Wait, that's that one with Polly Shore. You betcha. You betcha. Okay. Eric's Revenge. Go back to episode... You forgot Eric's Revenge. Eric's Revenge. That sounds ridiculous.
00:28:41
Speaker
I know. We're like, well, what's the first one? Yeah, I know. That's what when we watched it, too, I was like, so this is a sequel. They're like, nope. Nope. So what's the error getting revenge for? You'll see. Yeah, you'll see. You'll see. We'll find out just like we would if the movie didn't have a subtitle. This is when we get that first blood curdling scream that she does because she startled by a Joshua tree that came out of nowhere. But you two is terrifying. Well, that's fair. I would also scream at Joshua Tree. If I was in the middle of the desert and Bono and the edge came running at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get out of here. Everybody run. Yeah, she does. I can't. Yeah, it's a tone that I can't hit. And it's the exact same scream used over and over, I'm pretty sure. They just made her scream into a microphone for ADR. She heard what she had to do to get the role. They stuck it in her bum. Yeah, we call this here the casting couch. Come on over, young lady. Was Weinstein there? Mr. Weinstein was my father. Call me Javi. Maybe senior.
00:29:41
Speaker
I knew he was a Nepo baby. It's Walt Weinstein. Walt Weinstein. I don't think that's going to fly. only Walt Disney would okay with that joke. He's like, would you put my name next to? I'm the only Walt ruining that name, buddy. Yeah. Well, what did he do? Created a magical kingdom, dude. Yeah. Off of slavery. The tears of babies. a Slavery. question I mean, you if you had look, if you talk to any of those animators from back then, it was slavery. Yeah. Well, I think there are dicks and everything. I mean, look at Mickey Mouse. A porn. Or no. What was his name? Willie. h Steamboat Willie. Steamboat Willie.
00:30:20
Speaker
Yeah, just hump it. They're making a horror movie about that. Apparently they lost the ah the licensing. Yeah. Finally fucking lapsed. Yeah. Somebody's going to. Oh, my God. That's true. I think it's the same people that did the Winnie the Pooh. Yeah, I was going to say that did the Winnie the Pooh stuff. He's making a. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. winning the pooh some others
00:30:49
Speaker
Apunaverse. Apunaverse. Apunaverse. the next day they get back, I'm assuming because now the newspaper. Who can tell the sun doesn't set? It looks exactly the same. The newspaper people are there. There's guys setting up cameras that should be in a studio. Did you really see a space man? and Tell me. Tell me funny guy. Just trying to tell the story. And there's a k do t television coming straight for you. Right. And tell y'all, I didn't notice KL TV. I was like, kill TV. It's going to come up or no, it's not, it's not late enough for that yet. That's an eighties joke. Is that I'd buy that for a dollar.
00:31:27
Speaker
No, that's smash TV. Oh, that's Robocop. Well, smash TV. Yeah. Arcade game said that, too. OK. After Robocop. Yeah. Yeah. I'd buy that for a dollar. I'm watching Robocop. And I got to watch Twilight Zone and Robocop. You have no fun. I'm going to be watching the birdcage. So I don't know where you're watching TV. Great. Now he has to watch the bird cage. And I got to watch the bird cage. Yep, that's what I want to watch. So there's a professor there from the university who I thought was going to come to something. That's why I wrote him down. He is, by the way, the university, the astronomer. He doesn't really come to anything. I thought he was going to be like a character. But basically, he's just there to be like, I am also a science. He's the one that wants to have. He's like, John says this guy will help me. He'll convince everybody. Yeah, right.
00:32:10
Speaker
He's not one of these. The university won't pay for that. It'll take months to experience that. It'll take months and thousands of dollars. and that was like Thousands. Well, because they got a bunch of interns, dude. Also, the dollar wins worse was worth way more than a dollar. One dollar is a whole day's labor. Yeah. For a dollar a day, we could dig away. I remember in 1995, making No, it had to have been 98 because I was a junior. I was making 213 an hour being a server. It's not much better. Yeah, it's not much better now. Yeah, the the doctor, the scientist guy is telling him like, no, it's definitely a meteor, not a ship. Look at this iron is charred something, something. It's yeah, it's it's it's science from 50s jargon. Yeah, I'm not. Again, I am not a science. Don't be a woman. You shut your mouth. You saw a meteor. You know what, John? Wait back there. yeah John, wait in the car. Stay. Stay. Open this door, slide in. I will get in after you. Yeah, we only use one door at a time in each of these cars. Jesus. Get into the driver's side and scooch over, it baby. Scooch, I tell ya. I do like when they're leaving and they're listening to the radio and there's like this army general who's like talking like they're like, what do you think about this guy who said there's aliens? And the army general is literally just laughing on the radio like there's no such thing as aliens. I think he's Coco bananas. I tell you, don't go to Roswell.
00:33:32
Speaker
There's no such thing as aliens. ah I swear. This might be before that. They hadn't kidnapped those aliens yet. Maybe right around here. Yeah, somewhere around here. Fifties. Kidnap those aliens and lead to the whole Independence Day thing. Welcome to Earth. So the military is to blame for Will Smith. Oh, thank you very much. He's in the desert and he's just like John is and he's just rambling about like the desert and the wind and it gets in your brain and it makes you think crazy things and aliens
1950s Relationship Norms
00:34:02
Speaker
and something something. And this Ellen chick is just like just lays one on him. She's just like, shut the spot up. Shut up.
00:34:09
Speaker
Don't make me put you to sleep with a hand job like I did last night. It's midnight. People are going to ask questions while they already talk. So you think they called it an old fashioned back then? No, it's just called fashion. It's just called fashion. It's just called fashion. It's in the fashion. Can you give me a fashion? Oh, they had separate beds, but they were only arm's length away. Right. We can't sleep together. We can do everything but. Well, everything in the but. Everything in the but. You heard me correctly, Ellen. No vaginal stuff. There is no such thing as a female orgasm. That's a myth, especially in the fifties. Oh yeah. Oh, she enjoys it. You're definitely not doing it right. She's a witch. She's not going to get pregnant if she orgasms. I mean, it's fifties. It's the fifties. That's how they come out with Down syndrome.
00:34:53
Speaker
No wonder your kid's special. You had an orgasm, didn't you? You're shaking and driving. You shook that baby right up. Scramble those brains right up. No wonder. Have a pack of cigarettes and go call me in a week. We have smoking during your pregnancy? Yeah, good, good. Drink it? Get some cocaine. OK. I always loved listening to like like i listen like some of the old Abbott and Costello like radio show stuff on cassette tapes and whatnot, and they left in the commercials. And it's like, four out of five doctors recommend camel cigarettes. And I'm like, why? Because the fifth one died? No, Marlboro paid in. Nothing beats the smooth flavor.
00:35:31
Speaker
Gold, rich. Trust me. You'll want to put it in your mouth. Were you a camel or a Marlboro? Marlboro. I was Marlboro. Marlboro Reds, cowboy killers. That's right, baby. that's when I was parliaments Parliament. You were Parliament. You do remember, especially with the little cocaine shooter in there? Yes. Actually, yeah. um A bunch of my friends that used to go to raves and shit, that's how I got introduced to them. Yeah. That's because they would put bumps in them before they went out. And you ended up liking it. Yeah. but Bump cigarettes. Yeah, I bump cigarettes off of them. You know, sometimes you get those special ones. but Like, ooh, man, this cigarette's numbing my mouth up. I've never gotten this excited when I smoked a cigarette. That's what happened when the sheriff started talking later and he's growling. I had a part of another cocaine in it. Zip comes in, zip says something, and I was like, that's what I heard. That's what he said. It's a trap.
00:36:25
Speaker
ah Something else George Lucas guys like oh, I like the way he delivered that line It would sound better coming from a fish man though um Please fish man not the preferred nomenclature Mon Calamari. Yes, which which is just What make and white that's what they're called? make for kelamari man yeah yeah on got money on ah god lucas is an he's just lazy I don't think he made up that name either. I'm pretty sure that came from some books later because they don't say it in the movies That's true. It probably came from a toy. It probably came from the Kenner toy on the fucking back. They're like, he's a Mon Calamari. Yeah, there's that guy at Kenner whose job it was to come up with alien names. They're like, look, you're good at making a fucking dumb shit. They've since added another pronunciation. That's a pressure. I'm taking a break. They added a pronunciation to try and make it better. You don't have to say Calamari. It could be a Mon Calmar.
00:37:16
Speaker
Yeah, the eye is silent. Uh-huh. That's what the apostrophe is for. But then we meet like probably my two favorite characters. We're going to talk about Scamper. Sorry. Don't ever be sorry for that. You never do it to him. You always do it to me. So that made me very happy. My two favorite characters, because they look the most like people I love, these telephone workers. Uh-huh. We have Gene Hackman yeah and... And itty-bitty Clancy Brown. Yeah, either Clancy Brown... is it Clancy Brown and Andy Samberg had a baby. Uh-huh.
00:37:50
Speaker
Oh, I think so. I saw that saw traces of Sam Raimi in there, too. Yeah. Yeah. I only know what Jockster looks like. I don't know what Sam Raimi looks like. like oh I know what his little brother looks like. Oh, I forgot. She says She says Jockster because that was his character in Zena Warrior Princess. Yeah. but Probably across over Kevin. He looks just like Ted Raimi. OK. Yeah. So you know. OK, I don't know. But you know. He's like if Ted Raimi was less nerdy. Yeah. Is that possible? Sam, Ted Raimi's pretty nerdy. Yeah, Ted Raimi's pretty nerdy looking. Everybody looks less nerdy. Yeah, exactly. So it's like if you take that and like, I don't know, erase the glasses. I love that one of them was named George because George, the beloved George from Harbottle Brewing, he also was a telephone person.
00:38:34
Speaker
Maybe this is his story. You should ask him. I will. Did he come from outer space? He came from Jersey. Same thing. Yeah, might as well be. ah Fake Gene Hackman's up on the telephone pole and he's just rambling kind of like John was earlier about how like the desert will get to you, man, the sun and the heat and the fake lakes. Yeah, you see the fake lakes that aren't there. You got to stick to the river the rivers and the lakes you're used to, man. And the whole time I was just like, dude, How is that weed? He has a love affair with this telly's like sometimes so I think I hear the current talking to me Whispering through the wind through the wind. Did you try this peyote by the way? I like that He's up there working on this telephone line, which is presumably has electricity running through it John pulls up and he's like, yeah, here's something weird do You want to come up here and ah check it out? Like I've never been driving down the street and just seen a fucking TEP worker up on the poles like you wanna come up here?
00:39:27
Speaker
You don't go like the pilot doesn't invite you into the cockpit and I'd be like, just mess with the joystick or the yoke. Yes, that happened to me once, but it was you like movies about gladiators. It wasn't it wasn't on the panel at all. Oh, it was really. It was like, oh, man. He said I put the cock in cockpit. Yeah. i cockpit nickname for your mother I went into the cockpit when I was a kid and my aunt worked for the airline. like They let kids do it all the time but my aunt worked for the airline so she always did it and they always gave me little toy planes and I had a whole bunch of little toy American Airlines planes. What's it like to be privileged? ah was i like right my answer my My aunt was a flight attendant so I said the whitest guy I know. yeah
00:40:07
Speaker
No, I'm not white. I'm ginger. That's a whole different level. Yeah. ah Yeah. You are the ultimate. You are the albinos. Just right there. We're not actually that rare. We just don't go out in the sun. So you're like, man, I haven't seen a ginger forever. Well, it's summer, so. Right. You see them come guys should form a coalition. The gingers and the albinos. Only meet at night. Yeah. Problem is, dude, nobody's going to want to see that baby. The nighttime is the nighttime. Babe, we can get a meeting together, but no fornicating. Why are only his eyelashes red? Everything else is white. I want you to meet my baby the nightlight. I want you to meet my baby, Powder. Who played Powder again? Sean Patrick Flannery. What? That still baffles me. Boondock Sains. Yeah, I know. Who directed Powder? Oh, some pedo. There's another. Fucking Petter Ass that did Jeepers Creepers. Yeah, Clown House. There's another movie. Have you ever seen that? Wait, who's Jeepers? I have not. I know of it. The director of Jeepers Creepers and Powder and stuff. He's a big old Petter Ass. Which is why you couldn't find powder forever. Because there was a whole thing about him. Well, also the DEA was really buckling down. Can't find powder anymore, dude. Not even in Arizona. Well, you'll never find, you'll never find clown house. They'll never release that because the kid who was actually abused was in that movie.
00:41:22
Speaker
Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah. All right. It's a it's a respect move, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. I still have a bootleg copy of it. If you guys ever want to see it. Yes, I do now. So we are worse people. Yeah. They have a lot. I'm a bootleg copy of Song of the South up there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I have the actual copy of the Disney, the clamshell. Yeah. Excellent. Never get rid of that. How are you two not better friends? Right. We become best friends. Yep. Song of the South is bringing people together. I just can't wait to you guys so I can tell people how you bonded. Well, Song of the South on bootleg. He hit the clamshell. The rest explained to himself. Magic. It's fine. Sprinkle a little magic on top of it. and It's glitter, by the way. Bingo. Magic looks a lot like glitter.
00:42:09
Speaker
Oh, no, I'm talking about the game. Oh, I'm talking about magic. I was talking about the stuff coming out of this alien's butthole. Oh, yeah. His snail trail. His snail trail. But basically. Played by Nicole Kidman. She is a snail trail. They take off and George and Fred, whatever the fucking guy's name is. George and Frank. Frank. Hey, I was close. I was close. I would have said Fred. They get kidnapped by the aliens and like copied. Kind of, yeah. They get knocked out. They get taken hostage, is what they say. Yeah. The aliens say. I think this is where I fell asleep. Well, this was when, like, this is when the Clancy Brown dude was getting real creepy. Yeah. Because they're staring. Dude, he's pulling a Trump and just staring up there at the sun. Oh, is this where he's staring at the sun? Yeah. OK. Yeah, yeah. Because they're like, oh, yeah, the sun was messing with me. And he just looks directly into the sun. He's like, yes, the sun. Yeah. It's Ooh.
00:43:07
Speaker
See, nobody would know if Derek was a pod person because they're just cold and emotionless. I talked to Derek today. Well, I guess if you were staring at the sun, I would know. If he was even near the sun, he would know. Derek was outside in the sun today. Ah, kill him. He's been replaced. Was he complaining? He's a witch. Was he complaining? If he was complaining, then get him inside. The other day I had tickets to go to a movie and I opened the front door and then went on the app and returned the tickets. Oh, that's terrific. And what looks like Gene Hackman guy is dead. Yeah. Cause John sees his hand sticking out of the rock.
Alien Mimicry and Paranoia
00:43:43
Speaker
Deal. Okay.
00:43:44
Speaker
to lead us to believe these aliens are malicious and evil. Well, John's telling us that we all fucking trusted John. Well, yeah, because John's running away and he's like, you know, Jean's dead, baby. But like immediately they come back. Who the fuck is Jean George? Oh, yeah. I'm i'm picking up where you're going. Yeah. Frank gets up immediately afterwards. So the suspense is. you know, quelled. It lasted a second. But he he gets up and he looks at fucking Clancy Brown there and he's like, something's not right with you. Yeah. They haven't replaced Frank yet or Jean or double double Clancy. Brown's come up to like an old telephone worker and a young telephone worker. One's the mask that's married and one is the employee with a hot little babe on the side. Oh, he's got a hot little what we call back to a Betty, a Betty, a Betty.
00:44:34
Speaker
Yeah, it's got a hot check out of credit to check out the shape. Yeah, she sure did. She she had maybe two speaking lines. And I just had two other reasons you guys. She has noticed most movies we watch of this era for classic movies, just like a lot of old movies. All the credits are up front. This, they were all at the end. It was going to be one of the first movies to do that, at least in the US. Well, fucking A New Hope got in trouble for that. Did they? Yeah. It was a like ah the the whole Screen Actors Guild, Writers Guild. You had to have like he got kicked out of the guild for not putting the credits in the front. He got warned during New Hope and then he didn't do it again in and an empire. And George Lucas is like, hit Jokes on you, bitch. I fucking hate unions. i am That's why I film in fucking England. Yeah. it's it's So this is an early one then. It must have gotten changed after that and became like an almost mandatory thing. But they did it? Now it doesn't matter.
00:45:28
Speaker
They did it to where they even had the people up and then had their names. Yeah. like I remember that. Yeah. but Yeah. So they they get Sheriff Matt because they're like, hey, we have proof that there's aliens now. Right. Like we saw Gene Hackman's dead. Clancy Brown killed him. He's acting real weird. duer Real weird. He's got this bag and he doesn't know what to do with it. I just love that they're like, we have proof. Come with us. And even Ellen, who Matt loves, is like, yeah, I saw it. We have proof. And he's just like, you guys can both just go fuck yourselves. Yeah. Like, I have paperwork to do. And he's just moving a newspaper from one side of his desk to the other. And give me one gun, too. Yeah. Bring bring your gun. Oh, yeah. And he steals that gun from. No, that's later. That's later. this way He says bring bring your gun. Jack thought he said, give me a gun. Yeah. I thought you could just walk into the sheriff's department like, hey, follow me. Bring me a gun, too, punk.
00:46:19
Speaker
Make it something snappy. Dirty Harry style. Oh, no, I don't want that. That's too much gun for me. Is it? I don't like it. They're inaccurate. Oh. A lot of recoil. Expensive ammunition, too. This is the most powerful handgun in the world. It's not a good thing to have during a zombie clips. A zombocalypse. A zombocalypse. Thank you. Probably not. Not the best. Well, you need like a baseball bat with a nail on it. Yeah. Oh, what are you, a fucking weasel from Roger Rabbit? No, it's going to be wrapped in barbed wire. That's not going to hurt them. They don't feel pain. You've got to destroy the brain. Removing the head or destroying the brain. You got to think if you have a spiked bat, those spikes are going to get stuck in the head. Boom. Yeah, but you can destroy the brain with it. Yeah, yeah, but that's one use. Well, you just don't try to pull it out when you got a herd coming around. You go for the ones that have been dead for a while. You let your friends with the guns get the new ones, the ones that have been dead for a while when you smash their skulls. just everyone Give everybody a fucking spear. You go back to back and you start poking forward. You use the force and make them go on to your spear. Form of phalanx. Yeah. say Shield wall. But so we find out that
00:47:30
Speaker
Because like Clancy Brown was acting weird. I can't. I don't know where I am anymore. Clancy Brown was acting weird because he could be replaced by the aliens and the alien tells him we can look like you or anyone like I was like, you had to clarify that like we are a race of aliens that can transform into you, John. Only you, George. Only you. There's a whole town full of Georges. Imagine visiting that town. This is a little weird. Did I just see you at the movies? There's this town. It's called Clancy Town. Georgetown. I would visit Clancy Town before Georgetown. Georgetown is real.
00:48:11
Speaker
Clancy World. Clancy World. He deserves it. It's like Westworld, but, you know, less scary. ah Or more scary. Kinda, yeah, kinda. It depends on which Westworld you're talking about. We're talking about ah fucking Yule Brenner, we're talking about Ed Harris. Also, it depends on which Clancy Brown. Yeah. Highlander. Yeah. That cemetery too. What's his fucking don't go down number again. Yeah. Keurigan Keurigan. That's part one. Oh, it is one. Oh, yeah. You don't want to go down. Part one's the only loud one. You can like two and three, but they are a different class. of I don't think I've ever seen them. I've only two is a wild fucking ride that didn't need to be ridden.
00:48:45
Speaker
I've just seen you talk about Highlander. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, we were talking about pet cemetery. Oh, I'm sorry. Cemetery. Don't hold on that road. Yeah. No brain, no pain. Think about it. The one where they decide that they're aliens. Yeah. And three, they're like, just kidding. No, they aren't. Uh huh. Here's how I'll tell it to you. Number one's got fucking Clancy Brown as a bad guy. Number two has Michael Ironside and three has Marios and Peebles. So those all sound great, though. Yeah. Michael Ironside especially. Michael Ironside is a maniac in a really terribly written movie. Should have been great. should have been He's a maniac in every movie. Like, are you the normal guy in this movie? yeah I mean, that's not good. To be fair, scanners didn't exactly have the best writing either.
00:49:28
Speaker
True. Oh my god, I just, well not just, it was a year ago. Where were I? But I was watching Scanners, I watched Scanners at the loft and- Did you watch it at home too? Probably. But I watched it at the loft because they were doing a whole film festival thing and I hadn't seen it in a while at the time. That lead guy, whoever the fuck that guy is, that stick of wood. Yeah. Couldn't act his way out of a fucking cardboard set. I'm watching and I'm like, I love this movie, but why is this guy still here? I mean, for you to complain about it because of what we watch, for you to complain about how wooden he is. Where would you put him on the Chris O'Donnell scale?
00:50:02
Speaker
yeah Chris O'Donnell is a better. act Light years ahead of him. Oh, Chris. la Chris O'Donnell is for sure. Daniel Day Lewis to that guy. OK, give me him in comparison to Tommy Wiseau or Wiseau. Tommy Wiseau is more entertaining, ah for sure. Yeah. All right. So we're not a better actor, but what is that one movie we went and saw? I'm going to scan your brain. Cheep, jeep, jeep, jeep, jeep. But it's whatever we need. Keith David is in. they Live they live yeah, I already ready Piper's not good in that movie either, but it's even likes a great movie so it's a great movie yeah It was it still holds there's a great movie with yes symbolism. That's one saw that in theaters because I love when they do the
00:50:49
Speaker
Longest fights the wrestling fight in the alleyway did that that still going ah yeah That eight minute fight scene just put them on in cinema Because like these days you have a full a ton of action movies out of eight ten minute long fight scenes, right? No one ever gets tired That movie is just those dudes slugging at each other and then taking like a good 45 seconds to a minute. She'd be like, oh Give me a second. I'm gonna get you sucker Oh, and Roddy Piper's like, you know, I could do this all day. i've I've been doing this for a living. Come on, Keith David. Oh, I thought you wanted to ask to ask. Come on, let's go. I didn't take it out for I didn't take it out for air. I should have, though.
00:51:31
Speaker
OK, where are we? Anyway, the aliens are telling her the alien is telling ah John that like you need to give us some time to fix our ship. Look, all we want to do is get the fuck out of here. I'm telling you right now, our car broke down. The swamps of Florida suck. Let's fucking go. ah Just leave us alone. We'll do it all. we hope You're not ready for me yet. But there. But he does say if you don't give us the time, bad things are going to happen. Uh huh. Like we don't want to hurt you, but like if you don't back off, we will. There was a scene with some old prospectors, but that's about the time I fell asleep the first time. Yeah. Yeah, you didn't. They really didn't. It was just them. They were the mine kids. They might as well just been extras. You can get to the ship for the mine. You can get to the ship. But I know the older one, we've seen him and that voice was very familiar to him. You might have heard his voice like in Disney movies, but I don't think you've seen him in anything. You've heard his voice on this podcast before. His other job is pig shit farming.
00:52:24
Speaker
Oh, is that right? I got a pig shit farm going. Oh, that is it. I started in mine, found back one, and thought, well, it's kind of nice, but I can get pigs and shit a lot more to bet. I'm like, hey, that much. It's horrible having a pig shit farm in Arizona. It dries up real quick. Have you met the pig shit farmer? I've been podcasting a couple of times before. This is this is my first introduction to, uh, does he have a name or is it just pig shit farmer? I was never given one. Cletus? Just mister pig shit farmer. My father was a pink shit farmer? And my father's father? Come for a long line of pink shit for me. I'm a pink shit farmer the fourth. It's a squirty job, but somebody's got to do it. They're pooped spirals like to tell you. He came about because of men at work when we were trying to figure out where they got all that shit for the shit bomb. oh yeah yeah I supplied the two of them. Best customers ever had that Charlie Sheen. Good coke too.
00:53:12
Speaker
Stayed up all night, I think he touched my pig's door. I know this is where I fell asleep because I put a gap in my notes in case anything important happens. So this is where we take over? The awake ones. It's a back and forth now because art and ah John Putnam is just like, I believe, dude. He wanted to believe. So he's Mulder. Yes. Okay. And then eventually they go back to the ah the crater and they look for the the scientist guy from before that told him it would be a substantial amount of money and manpower
Ellen's Abduction and Emotional Control
00:53:43
Speaker
with their free help. I remember he was missing. And yeah they couldn't find him. They start kidnapping other people, which is the only reason the sheriff's even on board. He's like, he's like oh, I think you may be right. Yeah. I missed the days when I was calling you a crackpot and it was real. right So I mean, now know that's the big thing. And he somehow, oh, they get Ellen.
00:54:01
Speaker
Yeah, that's the next move I have here is Ellen gets to take it, Ellen. And then now she gets kidnapped by what was it, Fred? The one that looked like the the old guy. Yeah. The one that looks like the one like Hackman. Yeah. Yeah. He kind of just stops her in the middle of the road and like meanders into the passenger seat and was like, he just fucking drive. You know, he emotionally doms her. She's like, I'm going to take you home. You won't be doing that. Well, he's like Nicolas Cage in sympathy for the devil. Oh, yeah. He just gets in the back and he's like, drive. Fuck down. Oh, my God. That movie was awesome. John goes down there and he's like, give Ellen back. And the alien just goes, no, no. Fine. Show me you. Oh, no. Fucking I just got out of the shower.
00:54:45
Speaker
Sorry, bad time. This is where he's like, you can't handle it, you're not ready yet. Yeah, which is confusing because they saw him earlier in ghost form.
Aliens' Indifference to Humans
00:54:55
Speaker
In ghost form. In ghost form and in real form because he saw him at the very beginning when he went down in the crater before the collapse. Oh, that's right. Yeah, because he's like, I saw something. Right. No, thank you. We don't need religion. Just closing the door. No, thank you. Somebody already came and talked to us about solar. We're good here. Thank you. Uh, we don't eat cookies. We have a sign says no soliciting read it. He, the alien didn't mention that he wasn't after them or their souls specifically mentioned that so which, which means that he could probably do something with their souls. That's, that's odd. We could completely devastate you.
00:55:29
Speaker
We won't. I saw a an article or something that popped up when I was googling this that was talking about this was apparently a big like Spielberg has said this is a big inspiration for his aliens in E.T. No. Close encounters because they're not they're not malicious. They're not but benevolent. They don't give a fuck. Yeah. They just happen to be here. And they're trying to leave. We are ants to them, essentially. Yeah. They're like, we don't care about or plastic spiders. Yeah, the plastic spider scene. Best scene in the movie. Best scene in the movie. Oh, yeah, when he's like talking to the sheriff, right? And he's like, well, you would kill anything you don't. It's right after this, right? Yeah, it's right now. Right now. Yeah. You would kill anything you don't understand and
Fear of the Unknown
00:56:10
Speaker
they don't want you to go down there because they don't want you to try to kill them. Don't go down that road. And it's like, what would you do to that spider? They show the spider and it's just hopping and flipping around and I would kill it because it's terrifying. On the string, yeah. Growing up, we could get these fucking little spider rings from Peter Piper for like five tickets. yeah
00:56:24
Speaker
That's what they got here. They just put strings on it. If you like it, put a string on it. I love how i love how the ah the mat, the sheriff, he casually meanders ah over to it and just kind of stomps it and says, I kill it. That that's what I do. Proving the point. You're going to kill. You're going to kill anything. You don't understand. You just prove my point. I guarantee you, this guy draws on one of these aliens. And I don't mean with a pen and paper. I mean with a gun. Stay still. I'm going to draw you like one of my French whores. I do want to jump back for just one second when the alien does show himself to John because he's like, oh, you won't be able to handle it. It's too horrible. He's like, I can handle it. And the thing comes out and it I mean, it looks kind of like that fucking brain bug from Starship Troopers. Right. Sure. Like it's a big reveal.
00:57:10
Speaker
And he's just like starts screaming and covers his eyes and turns around. I'm like, it's not that bad. The thing that I really enjoyed, though, was the hair on it looked like an alien from Futurama wearing a wig like, come in. That was the first time I noticed the hair. It has like it has just like long braids on it with its big, veiny, bulbous fucking forehead.
Sheriff's Affection and Stereotypes
00:57:30
Speaker
No aliens here, just us humans. Look at my hair. I couldn't be an alien with this haircut, could I? It's like, have you seen that meme that's like, ah it's like a town in Pennsylvania or something that's called like humanville or something? Definitely no aliens here. Never. Never once.
00:57:47
Speaker
He gets back to the sheriff and he's like, look, we can't go fuck with him because the sheriff's like, where the fuck is Ellen? You said you were getting Ellen. Right. Well, we can't get her. I haven't smelled her hair in days. Look, I want to sniff your fiance. Her musk. Her musk. I miss her musk. Look, those panties are getting dry. I need new ones on Arizona. Other ones he stole in February. Yes. The one she's wearing. Anyway, moistened. He gets to him and he's like, look, they don't trust us because we're going to kill him. And I did like the line. I'm like, it's a pretty good line for 1953 because he's like, why don't you stop being a badge and try being a person? Yeah. Luckily, it gets better. Yeah, it gets better. It's much better. Cops got better since 1953, especially in Arizona.
00:58:31
Speaker
You mean they got better weapons? Well, now they're small armies. But he goes back to his house, finds us the alien glitter snail trail in his house, and
Human Aggression Towards Aliens
00:58:40
Speaker
they stole all of his clothes. Now he just has this suit. Or it was in his deposit and they put hangers up there. Whoa, where did this all come from? Yeah, he opens the closet and looks startled and he's like, Amazed. What hairs? What are these? It's like a piece of wood with a hook on it. This is where I'm lost. I was asleep through all this. So then the deputy is telling the sheriff, like, look, you're getting you're getting suckered here, dude. You know what we should do? You're letting the so and so tell you what you should do.
00:59:05
Speaker
You know what we should do? We should fucking kill him. I said we'd get a whole glinch mob together. I found it especially funny that the guy was in the room that he was talking about. And not like he wasn't there. I do remember that. Like he wasn't there. You know, like, oh, there's fucking loon over here. You know, listen to this guy. of meat I'll tell you. I'll tell you that guy's an academic. He touches children. He's a pedo. Look at him right there. All academics are communists. Also, I heard he's an eavesdropper. He's listening right now. Dude, if you want to get people riled up, like there's communists in their hills. There's a guy up there talking about socialism. Everybody's running up there now. Right? That's what he should have said. He said something about free health care. He said something about Red China. i ain't Something about Ruskies? I didn't catch it. The Russians are coming. on I don't know.
01:00:00
Speaker
But that's when John and the sheriff have their little tussle, and John steals the gun and the cop car. I'm like, dude, bad move. Oh, he punched him, yeah. But he keeps the gun back. That's the worst move. He gave him a good wallop. He hit him right on the jackpot. Well, you're trying to convince this cop not to attack the aliens, so you fight him, steal his gun and his car right away. And his car. Yeah. Well, because he figured there's no other cars in town. I got the only one. Ellen had his at some point. yeah because she That's when she got a abducted because she had his car. She was driving down the broads home. yep And that's just cra ada that's the craziest part of this movie because there's a woman driving. That's why she gets abducted. A woman around and no one to slap her? Could a woman drive before she could vote?
01:00:42
Speaker
Yeah. Wow. You know, on the bright side, at least they gave him a full vote. Oh, God. Yeah. Shots fired. We won't get into that. An old rich white people. Hopefully.
The Invulnerable Fake Gene Hackman
01:00:56
Speaker
But so Sheriff rounds up a posse. They start chasing down fake Gene Hackman and they kill him by making him crash his car into a giant rock. Well, I don't know. Did the bullets work? Because they they were. No, no, they were. I loved this like old. Not a one. Like you're trying to show them shooting the windshield. So the windshield is breaking. These bullet holes are directly in front of his face. That's why I'm questioning. Well, I'm dodging them. That's why I'm questioning. It looked like he got like he acted like he got hit, but he never got hit. He was jelly. But that plays into something that happened later because, what is it, Johnny, when he's down there talking to fake Ellen, he plugs her. He shoots her. And she falls forward. And she falls and goes into the pit. I think he did get hit. They just don't they can't afford a squib. or There is no squibs yet.
01:01:41
Speaker
That's probably more accurate. You know, there's no I don't know when those were invented. Yeah, I don't know. Cannon was not around yet, so nobody had invented. Cannon watch this like it'd be better if there was blood. There was a golden globus. We're holding that fucking patent. God, it sounds like they're trying to take over the world with those names. I remember there was one scene where the I keep saying fire truck, but it was the electrician. It's a ladder. It's a ladder truck. Thank you. It's a ladder truck and there something happens and the ladder truck is now crashed in on fire. That's that's this right here. So that's what happened. Yeah, that's where they set up a road block. They tried to keep the that's where the flyers are out. I thought he was going to throw out like a no spike strips. No spike strips. No, this is this is called a block. They had an inventive.
01:02:30
Speaker
Not yet. But I love that you all knew what I was saying. Oh yeah, for sure. The people that are listening probably can't see the pantomime. The listeners love my pantomimes. But those are those are spike strips. But John does get to the cave and and talk to alien Ellen, who's wearing this little black dress. Sexy black. That's how you know. That's how you know she's not. Ellen is because she's wearing the black and instead of the white. That's how you know she's evil. That's how you know she's evil. This is one of the coolest special effects in the movie, because she starts shooting lasers out of her fingertips. No, no, no, no. It was like a magic wand. Oh, yeah. What? And she points it right at Voldemort. Yeah. See, I slept. Why do I sleep through the good shit?
01:03:13
Speaker
But it looked cool because the laser's there, the laser looks pretty decent, and they had it etching into the rock, which was really fucking cool.
Plea to the Aliens
01:03:20
Speaker
This was cool. Sorry, you missed it. I'm very sorry. The acid trip on Dr. Strange from 79. The only good part. They slept through that. Right after this, when he shoots her and she falls into that pit of despair, is about another time I fell asleep. I think it was the bog of eternal stench, dude. And they had it in the middle of a mine. Just this random pit. Not dangerous at all.
01:03:42
Speaker
Well, that's where they go swimming on their breaks. Right. Usually there's a ladder to get down there. Not anymore. Did you see all the, uh, what was it? The dry ice reaction that happened when the alien fell in. Don't jump in that water. You put you we you get the scurvy. That's how you keep scurvy. That's how you get permanent scurvy. So yeah, I kind of miss what happens here. The last thing I saw was the end of the posse arrives. So is there anything important? So now John's talking to himself, like the alien version of him. Yeah. And Zip pointed out. He was wearing army fatigues and a nice little, like, scarf. So he pointed out, like, if he's wearing his clothes, was he in the army? He looks like a futuristic villain. Yeah. Like, this guy's going to try and take over Costa Rica in 2005. Right. He's got a death ray that he's going to use. Yeah, he definitely has a death ray.
01:04:27
Speaker
Well, yeah, actually he did. Yeah, because he tells him, he's like, this is our, I don't know, this is how we can travel stars. Or we can crack your earth in half. And he's like, you didn't give us enough time. So now we're going to crack yours in half. And John's like, no, please don't, don't, don't, don't tell us. I'll stop them, but you got to release the hostages in good faith. And he's like, yeah, I don't know. It's like, well, if we don't succeed, blow up the earth or John's like, you know what? i've I've given up at this point. These people just were fine. Just cut it. I just want to smooch my gal real quick.
01:05:00
Speaker
Just let me blink her once. But so it and it ends up working. and Let me get another fashion, please. Did you notice
Resolution and Spaceship Escape
01:05:05
Speaker
the ship? I don't know if you were sleeping. The ship taking off is that I saw. It's a reverse shot of the intro. yeah Yeah, I did see that. We love our shots in this. Right. ah That's the because that was the next thing I saw it was like the posse finally arriving at the mine. And then the ship is taking off basically at the same time. Yeah. And it's yeah, it's just a rewound shot. Was there a planned sequel for this? Well, no. And then they blew up the the entry to the mine so the posse couldn't get to. them Oh, that's right. Yeah, with dynamite. That convenient dynamite right there. Yeah, it's and it's a mine. done What do you think? It's going to be sitting on the ground. It's just a fucking box, dude. It's a little kids playing with some right now. Right. and Don't worry. He doesn't have matches. and It's fine. He knows what he's doing. He's mine boy.
01:05:50
Speaker
I don't know if there was a planned sequel, but there was a sequel. It came from outer space to a television movie from 1996. Ninety six. Ninety six. Took them that long. Talk about a long fucking sequel. Starring Elizabeth Pena and Brian Kerwin. , If we met you at a different time, or if you met us on our planet, things might be different, but you aren't ready for us. We're more understanding than you are. so We've evolved beyond. Don't worry. Give yourselves about, I don't know, 71 years. You'll be ready for us. We'll check on you. I know, seriously. They show up now. They're like, turns out it got worse. I did, because it was like, we don't work on our emotions. We don't react to emotions.
01:06:48
Speaker
Maybe when you're involved. Guess what? We are more emotional now than we were in the 50s. Well, we're some more in touch with it. So ah let's go home and you talk about being upset instead of smacking your wife. its Yeah, you go home and you get on the Internet. You talk about being upset. Other people tell you that you're right for being upset, so you get more upset. Well, and then you get the other ones that tell you that you're wrong for being upset and then troll you. You know, it's a lovely place, the Internet, the Internet. So let's go around the horn and start with our yeah seem guess recommendations if you got them
01:07:19
Speaker
um ah other movies or you recommend witness would you recommend like I would not recommend this movie. Yeah. No, I mean, ah for what it is and for what for what it was, you know, back then, I'm sure it was great. um For me, I wanted to fall asleep, but I was in a strange place with, you know, questionable characters. So I didn't feel like my butthole was safe. You were sitting next to Jack. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. Maybe not your feet. I didn't want Jack to give me a fashion. He's giving me a a new fashion. I was passed out next to you. You're fine. it's It's one of those movies that, like, I'll probably never watch it again, but it was fun to watch it one time, you know? Yeah. Yeah.
01:08:01
Speaker
Jack? i'm I'm glad I watched it. Same thing. I'm sure ah you watch it through a lens of the 50s. You're like, oh, I appreciate this camera work. Yada, yada. I'll probably never watch it again. I'm sure the special effects back then were just mind blowing. Yeah. Mind blowing. Yeah. I mean, I don't even have really have any caveats to it. Like, I don't really want to take drugs and watch it. It's not going to improve it. I'm going to be bored. I mean, we did. Well, yeah, but I mean like the genics take some. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was so drug it is not a drug. I was stoned a ship for it. and it's its You know, probably helped it, but probably didn't elevate it enough. Yeah, I fell asleep because I was warm. and I recommend it to you. This one will put me to sleep. I do want to watch it again so I can actually see it because I love the old classic movies. I love seeing the actual acting and like the turn of the dawn or not turn of the dawn, but like
01:08:52
Speaker
Like you said, the special effects here, that fish lens, all of that stuff and using- It's a good style from the people. I love them. God, I love
Cinephile Appreciation
01:09:00
Speaker
them. Although knowing that it was supposed to be originally shown in 3D, that does help to like, okay, I know why they did certain things. I have to put myself in that mindset. So yes, I do want to watch this again. And I feel like if anybody is a cinephile or wants to watch something that is classic, please definitely watch something like this because yes, you do get some Shatner acting. but But that was the school of acting yeah back then. It didn't matter what part of the country the movie took place in. Everybody had a mid-Atlantic accent. Yep. Yes. And they all just dished out ham and cheese. i I do. I definitely I do give this a recommend if you want. If you are into classic movies, I do give it that. I do want to watch it again.
01:09:40
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know if I can recommend it to people. I am going to sit down and watch it again. I know I've seen it before, but a lot of it was new to me. So like it's been many moons. I know. Give me some boobs. The two I had two movies to choose from that both started with it and were from the 50s. It was this and it the terror from beyond space. And I asked Whitney which one we should watch. And she chose this one probably because the box looked cooler. Sure. No, I recognize the title. OK, so it's a classic Universal movie. Yeah. But it's hard for me to recommend Universal International. Yeah. I slept through part of it. And again, I don't blame that on the movie. I mean, it that could be part of it because it is a slow pace. I mean, listen i'm two people fell asleep. Two people were struggling not to.
01:10:27
Speaker
yeah i had I had reasons for falling asleep. Yeah, you're tired. Dude, noon margaritas. Noon margaritas.
Zip's Tattoo Artistry Promotion
01:10:35
Speaker
Let's give Zip a chance to plug himself. like How can people get work done for me? Well, we're not on video. But I'm... A chance to plug himself. It took a minute for me to... What's a good way for people to get a hold of you? like What's your favorite style of tattooing? I love doing horror tattoos, horror themed tattoos. I love doing portrait realism, black and gray. um
01:11:01
Speaker
Uh, good way to get ahold of me is just through one of my Instagrams. Uh, it's zip underscore tattooist on Instagram, or I have zip underscore painter, or I have a bunch of, uh, commission paintings that you can do. You can do commission commission paintings and You got to share it with me. You got to share it with me. But not only do you do paintings, but I've seen sculptures. Oh, sculptures and all that. And actually, I do sell some of my sculptures and some of my my prints of paintings that I've done at a place in town in Tucson here called Nexus Occult. It's a bookstore here in town. Excellent. They have a lot of children's books there.
01:11:45
Speaker
children's books and made golds of books made forul books you know yeah yeah i know The leather bound editions. This is an interesting cover. Where did you get this? This is called the Necronomatot. Is that a nipple? I know when um i had you at the brood i had you the brewery for one of my tattoos days. And you had the planchette, is that correct? Oh yeah, the Ouija board planchets, yeah. The Ouija, they were like magnetic Ouija board planchets that he... Oh no, I had the magnets that were a heart. I had the planchets, had the felt underneath so you could use them. There you go, yes. So there was two different things. But their scary monster face, missing an eyeball, looks like it was cored out and that's what the... ah the Oh, fantastic. No, no, it's some creepy crazy monster, you know, which you can also see on ah zip underscore tattooist on Instagram.
01:12:38
Speaker
Yeah, a thousand percent. And he does do he does amazing horror, black and grayscale. I get lucky. Don't don't push it. Sounds like somebody who's really good at their job, but it's humble about it. I get lucky sometimes. He does good everything, though, because my favorite. I mean, I only have the two tattoos and he did both of them, but the Calvin and Hobbs looks like Bill Watterson drew it. It's so well, if you but if you've ever met me, if you've ever met me, he's done my whole left arm. He's done the my Jack and Sally is everybody who's like, um well It's a big focal point it is a big focal point But this one is still and will always be my favorite my my tree star What is this like four years old and it still looks like a fucking sticker about four years i can't be that old you me but four years that's twenty four honey It's the year 24
01:13:31
Speaker
Oh, OK. Yeah, it was 1924. Where'd the hell did the time go? Well, they can't get tattoos. Why are you wearing pants? So you know how to punch color in. What's wrong with your dress? You just prefer grayscale. I do. That's how it looks, man. I do. I love doing color tattoos. I love tattooing in general. It is. You're really good at it. But when I get something that I really, really, I wouldn't say enjoy more, but I'd say enjoy more, you know? Inspiring. I tend to do a way better job there, you know? As anybody, you know, anybody in any profession. Well, thank you for joining us. Oh, man. Thank you for having me. I'd love to do it again. If you got anything you want to bring, like, if you want to come back, bring a movie, like, you know? Oh, I would love to. I have a few suggestions that I've talked to Derek about. Definitely, definitely one to do a few of those. Oh, yeah. Sweet. I mean, if you're down to do the spookies or even Clornhouse, man, see a young Sam Rockwell running around. Oh, my god, Sam Rockwell? I was going to say you have one, Sam Rockwell.
01:14:28
Speaker
running around in his skivvies. Now you're sweeping the plot. Yeah. and and Well, I mean, this is the director of Jeepers Creepers and Powder, you know, that we're talking about here. So you're balancing Petarass with Sam Rockwell. Yeah. I mean, who wouldn't molest him? Well, he wasn't the he wasn't the one that was molested. It was the main character. He might have been, but he was of age. He was himself.
01:14:50
Speaker
We are worst people. But Zib, thank you. I love your face. Thank you very much for having me. I appreciate it. It took us a long time to get you here. Next week, we'll be covering Cast a Deadly Spell, an an HBO TV movie starring Fred Ward, where he plays um Oh, what is his name? He's HP Lovecraft, but they give him a name. Henry Paul Lovecraft or something. And he's a detective. but And it's like a neo noir detective movie and where Paul hate John or not neo noir, but it's like like a noir detective movie. But the world he lives in is Lovecraftian. And there's like.
01:15:24
Speaker
I don't know, werewolves and creatures walking around. I'm sure there's a lot of racism. I i haven't watched it, so we're going to all enjoy that together. All right. Or not. I don't know yet. We'll do that together, though. Well, I'll definitely enjoy listening to it because I haven't I have not seen that movie yet. So we have a Patreon, patreon dot.com slash worst people. It's only three dollars a month. This month's bonus episode is Airheads, starring Brendan Fraser.
01:15:51
Speaker
It should be out by the time you're hearing this episode, but hey, I'm a piece of shit, so maybe not. Thank you to Evasion for providing our opening and closing music. I have been Derek. I'm always Whitney. I'm Jack. And I'm Zip. Get back in the car, Dave.
01:16:35
Speaker
ah Good night, and she blew her mucus block.
01:16:41
Speaker
ah No context whatsoever, dude.