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Ep 116: Miami Connection REDUX w Steve from Bucket of Chum
51 Plays19 days ago
Get the full video version on Patreon!
It's our 2nd anniversary and just like last year, we're celebrating by revisiting one of our favorite movies from the very early days of the podcast. We didn't know what the hell we were doing back then (let's be honest, we barely know now), so we're going back to Orlando to fight the ninja! There were some technical difficulties, so Whitney bowed out of the episode to let our friend Steve from the Bucket of Chum podcast come back on with us and discuss something with NO SHARKS in it. An 80s pop-rock band made up of orphaned Tae Kwon Do experts have to stop a gang of bikers and ninjas (and ninja bikers) from selling cocaine on their streets, all of this is accompanied by a banger of a soundtrack and some atrocious acting. This is one of the worst movies of all time and we LOVE it!
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Transcript
Patreon Plea and Anniversary
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey guys, I don't want to sound needy here. I'm needy, but we have a patreon at patreon dot.com for people And it only costs three dollars a month three dollars a month is nothing and I know times are hard right now real hard for me Inflation's up. No, you can't afford your groceries can't eat But you can't afford three dollars a month if you love us give us three dollars super love us. Please love us We're not we're not begging. I'm begging. We're not pleading. I'm pleading. We're not down on our knees. Oh boy. My knees hurt. They've been on the other on so long. But we do kind of need the money. I need the money bad. We need new equipment. it New equipment. We need to do remote podcasts for all of you. I wouldn't mind eating. We need to have video. I wouldn't mind eating. ah We need more drinks. Food sounds good.
00:00:47
Speaker
So please check out patreon dot.com slash worst people. Please check us out. You get a bonus episode every month and we're going to have more content coming for you. I'll send you pictures. ah Thank you, guys. Thank you so much. Please give me more. Patreon dot.com. I'm being held hostage here. Slash worst people. I don't think all of you out of here. They're going to kill me.
Guest Introduction: Steve from Bucket of Chum
00:01:05
Speaker
Welcome back to Bad Movies, Worst People. It's our second anniversary, our 116th episode. And we have a special guest with us, Steve from Bucket of Chum. And this week,
00:01:16
Speaker
Our friends forever will be together. We're on top because we play to win. Against the ninja. I'm Derek.
Miami Connection: Cult Classic Revisited
00:01:26
Speaker
I'm Whitney. I'm Jack. And I'm Captain Steve. And this is Bad Movies.
00:02:16
Speaker
Yes, we're back. This is our second anniversary. And we're talking again about Miami Connection. Thank God. This was the first episode that we had Jack on way back in January of 2023, which doesn't sound like that long ago. No, but it was. It was 111 episodes ago. Wow. And so I was talking with your wife earlier, who can't join us because technology hates us today. ah Were you aware of this movie before I brought it to you?
00:02:47
Speaker
I don't think so. Okay. I think you told me about it. Okay. Cause that's what I was trying to tell, tell Whitney. It was like that you would, that we did not have a reason to know this movie until we started doing this. Yeah. Well, I knew of the movie before I started the podcast, but it's one of those ones that helped push me over the edge. I was like, I want to talk about this. yeah No one wants to listen. You have to talk about this movie. Captain Steve, how aware were of this movie were you?
00:03:12
Speaker
Um, so I think I actually became aware of this movie because of rift tracks. Okay. Yeah. So after I saw the rift tracks, um, and then vinegar syndrome released it on blu ray, I was like, fuck yes. Yeah. Yeah. That was actually the first time I heard about vinegar syndrome was like October of 2022 or something like that. And I went on to get something.
00:03:36
Speaker
and I saw Miami Connection and it must have been right after you told me about it, Jack, because then I was just like, well, yeah. du And they must have just released it because it goes out of print. Like it went out of print. It's back in now for i got a while, but glorious 4K now. Yeah. Yeah, me too. I got the big cool box. You got the cool new slip cover. Yeah. Because I care about those things and you don't. I definitely do not. But du this movie is so much everything I want to be about a bad movie podcast.
00:04:05
Speaker
Yeah, 100% man, like when I think of like cheesy 80s action movies like this movie and I think it's oh Action USA those big these two movies together like that's quintessential 80s action to me like ah ah you've seen these movies spoofed on The Simpsons like a hundred times before That's how you know you made it. dude Yeah Yeah, I mean the fighting's not bad. The acting is the worst and it makes me so happy I think and this is what I wanted to talk to Whitney about but again, she can't join us because the internet gods hate us We had all four of us on one time
00:04:44
Speaker
I've done well twice, but once when Steve did it and he's more professional than me. I think it's just bullshit luck. But ah she was sitting there watching this with me last night, so she still had to watch it. And she
Quirky Cast and Crew Insights
00:05:00
Speaker
hates this movie. I don't know more than Cherry 2000. I don't get it. i like Does she hate world peace and friendship? I think she does. Do you hate world peace and friendship?
00:05:14
Speaker
Yeah, I text while we were like while I was watching at the end of the movie I text our group chat and I was like I fucking love this movie You too man. I i love this movie to fucking death Like I'm so glad I get to finally talk about it because like I put this movie on at least probably two times a year Oh Wow. Yeah. Well speaking of texting about it Steve sent me a message while ah because I was talking to him about getting ready for today And he's like, I'm watching this movie right now and most of the subtitles just say men grunting. Yeah. So then it really describes the movie, basically, because it's just a bunch of dudes fighting. So it's just men grunting men panting. Like that's all it is. So I turned it on and decided to count while I was watching because I've seen it five or six times. Men grunting. I didn't count men groaning.
00:06:00
Speaker
Okay. But I did count men grunting. If I counted men grunting, it'd be more than double. Yeah. But we ended up with 42 instances of the subtitle men grunting. That's a lot of men grunting. That's a lot. Or a variation upon. Yeah.
00:06:12
Speaker
Because there was also like Mike grunting and whoever. Was the men grunting, was that like when they were setting up for an all-male pornography where they all come out with their pants kind of undone with a towel over their shoulder just looking around. Even one of these guys has a fucking 70s, 80s porn stash. He is ready for action. Jeff is walking, is it Jeff? No, Jim. Damn it, you did that earlier. I know. Jim is walking around the whole time when they're not out in public with no shirt and his pants unbuttoned. Just to show you the tighty whities.
00:06:41
Speaker
Flash the goods, dude. Whitney commented on it and I was like, well, his pants are tight enough. He doesn't have to have them. Yeah, they'll stay up. It's still not as egregious as what happens later when you come eye to eye with a dude's penis.
00:06:55
Speaker
We'll get there, but let's just say it's a scene with an absurdly small amount of shorts. I just want to ask you guys if you think it's a coincidence that the Answer to life the universe and everything and the number of times that men grunt in this movie are the same i mean tells us everything about life we need to know man yeah so crack the code right up front we like to let people know. and Where they can watch this movie if they want to watch before we talk any anymore about it come on over to my living room yeah.
00:07:26
Speaker
I mean, you can get it. You can watch it for free with ads. So whatever. But on Freebie and Roku, you can rent it for four dollars on Amazon and Apple and you can buy it for eight dollars on Amazon and Apple or or you can do what all the smart guys did because Vinegar Syndrome reprinted it for their out of print sale thing or whatever they did. I don't know. They added more copies. So it's on Vinegar Syndrome right now for 30 dollars with the cool new slip. There's like 600 left, which is not very many because they usually I think they did like 5000 or something. Oh, wow.
00:07:56
Speaker
Yeah, I got my money's worth just today. Oh, you can also get I meant to grab it so I could show it to the cameras because we're trying to do a video component for Patreon. But you can get the vinyl of the soundtrack, which I have for twenty six dollars. Oh, look, there's the Blu-ray. He's got the Blu-ray right there. Fancy box. Let me see what I got in my bag of tricks here. Oh.
00:08:21
Speaker
Nice. Steve, you see his shirt. Oh, hell yeah. I like that it says Dragon Sound on the back of the cover, too. Yeah, it will never fit me. I've got to move my beard here, but I'm wearing mine. It's not the red one because I'm too fat for red. Me too. Oh, nice. Against the ninja, Dragon Sound. I'm too red for red. a Giant tomato? Nope, just Jack. No, if I wear a red shirt, people like run away from me when they have their kids because they think the clown is coming. But he's like like a really big balloon. We all eat down here. Pennywise, sorry.
00:08:57
Speaker
winging jokes, making many mistakes. That's why I should write everything down, but I don't. yeah So this movie came out in either 1988 or 2010. Depends on when you saw it. Rated R. Directed by Wu Sang Park. And I wrote down some of his movies. I've never seen any of them. He did a lot of Hong Kong action. I wrote him down because I know Jack would get a kick out of this because you know these movies are all worth watching. OK. Because.
00:09:24
Speaker
We have My Name is Twin Legs, also known as Strike of Thunderkick Tiger. ah Look at Me America, also known as Gang Justice, which has Eric Estrada in it. o And Dreadnought Rivals, also known as Manager of Shaolin Hall. OK, that one's kind of a discrepancy. The other ones all have like two cool names. This one's like Dreadnought the Destroyer or Mike the Store Manager. Yeah. yeah But I just because they're all also known as and Jack has been known to say if a movie has more than one title, it's probably awesome. Yeah, it's good it's it's at least worth watching. Also, yeah, I went down a rabbit hole with a friend earlier about the Evil Dead franchise in Italy because they named a bunch of movies like Evil Dead, basically. Oh, yeah. None of them have anything to do with the rest of them. And then it's the same thing with like the house franchise, like House for technically isn't for it's actually House three.
00:10:21
Speaker
Yeah, because House three is we just talked about it's barely in a house. Yeah. Yeah. house look
Plot Absurdities and Character Dynamics
00:10:26
Speaker
funny I will say, though, I think House three is the coolest one. House two is the funnest because House this one is like my first horror movie I ever watched. Well, it's very fun. Like I just saw them all for just watched them. I've never seen them before. And.
00:10:40
Speaker
So the cover of the movie for one and two, I'm like, this looks like a spooky movie. It's not their comedies, mostly. I mean, one is a little bit more horror. Two is straight up. Two is slapstick. It's a it's a fucking 80s boob comedy. Yeah. And that's why I like it. But three is like I'm an 80s boob comedy. Three is like a horror movie and it's Lance Henriksen and Brian James just being terrifying at each other. Well, you just mentioned two very terrifying people. Yeah. So I enjoyed that one. It was it was the most brutal of them, but it has it's nothing to do with it. Clancy Brown. but Lance Henriksen. I know. It'd be funny if Clancy Brown was in there. Just three of the most terrifying people ever.
00:11:19
Speaker
um But yeah, so this one is written by Joseph Diamond, but the story was by YK Kim, who's the star and producer. Oh, real quick. You said the the director's name. Is he in this movie? He is. He plays Uncle Song. OK, that's what I was wondering. Yeah. And Joseph Diamond, who wrote this, is Jack.
00:11:41
Speaker
Not you, but from the movies. I was like, wait, I am not getting royalties on this movie. I don't think anyone is. Oh, can you just I know we talked about the last time we recorded, but talk about why you said two release dates. OK, so originally this was released in 1988 and eight theaters in the Orlando area. And it made I did write this down because they had a number made two thousand one hundred and ninety nine dollars. Wow.
00:12:09
Speaker
and was panned by some local critic which made everybody not go see it ah because the 80s didn't appreciate what they had. fuck no And so it disappeared. It almost bankrupted YK Kim who had mortgaged his like Taekwondo business and like done all that just put up everything he had to make this movie.
00:12:28
Speaker
In 2009, a guy named Zach Carlson, who was a programmer at the Alamo draft house. So this is a little different than the story you've heard and the story I've heard, but it's similar. OK.
00:12:39
Speaker
Uh, 2009, he found a 35 millimeter print of it on eBay. He'd never heard of it, but he bought it for either 35 or $50. I found both those stories ah because he was like, what the hell? Why not? They screened it for like a cult film thing they do and it blew the fuck up. And so they, they showed it a few more times. And then in 2012, they did like a full on rerelease of it through draft house films. And then vinegar syndrome, put it out on home video for everybody.
00:13:08
Speaker
ah But it was funny because when he... So he they played it the one time, because they're like, what are we going to do, get sued? yeah But then when they wanted to make it a real thing and like distribute it and stuff, he started trying to call YK Kim. And he thought it was a joke, right? Yeah. he was He kept hanging up on him. He's like, dude, fuck off. like there's Nobody cares about this movie. The quote was literally, YK Kim, in one of the interviews I saw, that every distribution company rejected it after screening and said to me, don't waste your time. Just throw it away. It is trash. hu ah So before we get to any YK Kim,
00:13:41
Speaker
Should we pick an accent to do for him? Because we're not going to do his. You can choose from the Southern lawyer, Marky Mark, ah Jay Leno, Irish, ah Scottish. Marky Mark's my easy one, but we do that all the time. I could do Stitch. I could do Cleveland Brown. I could do ones I can do. her how normans tele grandbo What do you want?
00:14:08
Speaker
hopefully We got to do one that Derek can do. I can't. Jeff, your friend, your father. You know what? I'll just do it in my voice. Although you doing Cleveland might not be any better, because Cleveland is a white guy playing a black guy. Stricken from the record. I could do Jay Leno. All right. So YK Kim tonight will be portrayed by Jay Leno. Yeah, thanks. Thanks. They have me. They've got a lot of Toy Kwon Dojo's, you know what I'm saying?
00:14:35
Speaker
somehow that's just very fitting i don't know why that just i mean you can't understand what he's saying anyway so like it kind of works and i don't want to make fun of the guy because if you had me try and speak korean it would be so fucking awful yeah oh quite a hundred percent but it's yeah it's great because his His delivery is so bad, partially because he can't speak English and partially because he's just maybe the worst actor I've ever seen on film. Yeah. And I've seen like, uh, champagne and bullets. I've watched wings. How's her walk around that thing drunk like.
00:15:08
Speaker
Yeah, it is. It is some brutal. I actually watched it without subtitles because I've seen this so many times. I'm like, I'm gonna see if I can pick out what he's saying. 40% success rate, I would say. I did the subtitles specifically to count how many times men grunt. That's what you also do for porn. This is what my life has become.
00:15:31
Speaker
I do real quick want to touch on a couple of things people put out. So you've already touched on men grunting and touch on things people put out, too. There there was two reviews or a couple of reviews that I found when the movie was re-released. And I think one of them really embodies why we love this movie so much.
00:15:50
Speaker
So is this guy david schmatter sure it doesn't matter someone something called the stranger but he said to say miami connection is bad as a crushing understatement miami connection is so bad it makes time wise those of the room look like wild strawberries.
00:16:06
Speaker
But out of this tragic mess of failure and incompetence, a distinctly sweet spirit emerges. Source is a cumulative game-ness and good sportsmanship of everyone involved in Miami Connection, which is drenched with a goofy joy that is contagious. I mean, that's pretty well said.
00:16:22
Speaker
Yeah. So I mean, that's the thing. It's so bad. Like this is the definition of the definition of it's so bad. It's good. Yeah. Because it's not one of those ones where like I'm watching it and it's so campy and cheesy that I'm laughing and enjoying it. It's so bad. But the people were putting so much fucking effort in. Yes.
00:16:37
Speaker
I hate to root for people to fail, but man, it's a good fail. You failed upwards. And I do have one other one I want to touch on just because it's a lady who wrote for Tucson weekly. Oh, who reviewed it. And I found this on on Wikipedia. So, you know, hometown paper here. That's the source for all news and Wikipedia.
00:16:55
Speaker
Pull out the red carpet. Yeah.
Comedic Beach and Gym Scenes
00:16:57
Speaker
But ah Jackie Allen of Tucson Weekly said, Miami Connection is quite possibly the most hilariously terrible film made in the 80s, which is no small feat. The film has gained a cult following over the years and with good reason, it is one of the best bad movies ever made. Yep.
00:17:10
Speaker
so And there was one other guy who I didn't catch, but ah the quote was just, YK Kim had a vision and his vision is a horrible glory. I'm good glad you you're you're picking up my foot down. thanks So we have this movie, which is about college students.
00:17:27
Speaker
Sure. Yeah. YK Kim, by the way. YK Kim, 41 years old as of filming this. And looking it. But they're college students who are in like a 80s synth pop rock band that are also Taekwondo masters and have to defend Orlando from cocaine from Miami that is being sold by ninjas and a guy that looks a lot like Robin Williams. The ninjas are also a biker gang. You're missing a biker gang. Oh yeah, I missed the ninja biker gang. Fuck. I knew I was going to miss something. Bikers by day, ninjas by night, I believe the song said. It's a tale old time. It's in the song. It's right. It's in the song. It's position. There's also, on the Blu-ray, I think there's two cuts of this movie, because there's Miami Connection, and then the other alternate cut is Escape from Miami, I think, which is also the name of the song, I guess. Which I think explains why Miami Connection doesn't make sense with this movie being in Orlando, and we've joked about that ever since we heard the connection is the cocaine from Miami. But I think Escape from Miami is a better title in that case because the cocaine is leaving Miami. Yeah, it's escaping. Yeah, it's escaping. It's escaping Miami and going up Orlando's nose. But that that version, I've watched it. It's a lot more sad because I think Jim Jim dies. Yeah, I was going to say, I think I know Jim dies. Yeah, just like ends, I think
00:18:55
Speaker
If I'm remembering, right, it's like that point in the the regular movie where like right after Jim gets cut at the end and then like there's that freeze frame of like a tall Michael Phelps looking dude. Yeah. Monster Phelps. We called him on our our last version. like He looks like an alien took over Michael Phelps and is trying really hard to get out. But it's like him covered in blood. Really accurate. Yeah.
00:19:18
Speaker
It's him covered in blood holding the sword and then YK Kim holding the sword and screaming and then there's a freeze frame. I think that's just the end of the first movie. So they ended on a freeze from a full Sith mode? Yeah, I think so. If I'm not remembering, I'm not sure. I watched it once when I first got the blue. Well, this makes sense because I'm going to bounce around a little bit. They have a picture of ah Jim's dad.
00:19:38
Speaker
Yeah. And when they have a guy at the end be Jim's dad, it is not the same guy. He's 10 years younger and has powder in his hair. Oh, my God. It was so bad for a second. Is that Jim playing his own dad? And it's not funny. So I'm not going to necessarily go through all the actors because they're not actors. Yeah. ah Two of these people were in other things, though.
00:20:02
Speaker
ah Vincent Hirsch, who plays John, might monster Phelps, the eight foot tall man, yeah who was 28 when they were making this, by the way, so a little older than he should have been for college, but you know. You don't know his life. He took a couple years off. He had to find himself. Yeah, it took off eight years to run the farm while Ma was sick, all right? But he was in one other movie, ah a Hong Kong movie called Dragons Never Die, also known as Kung Fu 10th Dan.
00:20:27
Speaker
two names means good. Yeah. Or it just means it's from Hong Kong. I said what I said. Um, and then the other actor in this movie who's in one shot of the entire film has the biggest career of all these people. Uh, his credit is nail face. Oh yeah. Yeah. The biker that puts the nail on his face at the bar. Yeah. But yeah, I caught that too. That was really weird. yeah Like it's, it's such a focus. How do you not catch it? Like, how do you not like figure out what that is?
00:20:54
Speaker
This guy is very interesting. I mean, so he's just been a he's basically played a biker his whole career. But his name is Bubba Baker. I don't think he's acting. He was in ah he was in the fifth episode of Renegade. Ooh. So you've seen him. Yeah. He was Jimbo. Probably doesn't mean anything to you. It does not. I'd like to sit here and pretend I know exactly you're talking about. But that was like forty seven bottles of whiskey ago. And he was in a couple of episodes of Clarissa Explains at all.
00:21:22
Speaker
Sure one as man with snake and the other as biker in lineup He he was cut from Ace Ventura pet pet detective, but he's in the TV broadcast version if you watch that Oh nice. He's the the toothless giant ah He was a Klansman and bad boys too and in some movie called the old Livingston house But I wrote it down because his character's name is coke machine And I'm gonna guess that it's not because he's large Yeah, not cuz he's wearing a large red shirt Also, I think Jack kind of nailed it. He's not an actor. Like he's just living his life. And they're like, hey, can we just like film you doing this thing? And they're like, there's a shit happening. Yeah, man, go for it. Keep being yourself from a point of camera at you. This movie is one of those movies from this era where the actors, the bikers in the in the biker scene are real bikers who were paid with alcohol, as we've heard multiple different times, which is why this is one of the best bar scenes in cinema. It is so fucking authentic. Yeah, that's the only it's the best acting that Jeff does the whole movie. Yeah. but Oh, you mean fucking what? We call him Mark Norris. Yeah. Last time we called him Mark Norris because he looks like Chuck Norris had a baby with Robin Williams. But um he I could shave his chest and lose like three shirt sizes. I feel like he did this movie and then he was like.
00:22:37
Speaker
Wait, are you paid to like just be a biker? Yeah. Like I don't. OK. So he just kept doing it for the next 20 years. Uh huh. But he did go to. He's got that Screen Actors Guild fucking insurance, baby. He's got an interesting little backstories. I'm not going to go into the whole thing, but he did go to the Full Sail Center for Recording Arts and it graduated from that. But he went to Lompoc High School, which I'm only mentioning because he did skits and plays with his ah of classmates, Jeffrey Combs and Mark Harrier.
00:23:07
Speaker
I know Jeffrey Combs. Who's Mark Harrier? So, yeah, Jeffrey Combs, you know, from beyond reanimator million things. Great, great actor. Mark Harrier was one of the stores stars of Porky's. And he also directed the movie Popcorn. If you've ever seen that. I know. i'm oh You know what? Sadly, I'm more familiar with Porky's. He's probably the guy that took his penis and put it to the wall in the shower. I couldn't I didn't go into the details because I just thought it was a fun fact. But yeah, he might have been a dick guy. I've been a dick shower guy.
00:23:34
Speaker
Old shower balls. If for our purposes, he is a guy in sports referred to as a guy in this court. So all all of these main characters um are past college age. ah Jack, the drummer slash writer of the movie was 32. Couldn't find Jim's age. Maurice Smith. We got to call Jack something else. I'm not going to be happy with it. Which one? What does he look like?
Awkward Dialogues and Performances
00:24:01
Speaker
Oh, he's the one that says he's from Israel and unibrow. All right, He also wrote another movie, but I couldn't find anything about it other than that It's a film about miracles question mark and he mentions being called how I got laid well he mentions being like Israeli as American in this and it looks like a movie all about like people traveling to different religious places It's specifically Jewish people traveling to different religious places and like worshiping and stuff gotcha and it was in 2014 That's the only other credit here, huh? But ah Tom who is the the one that looks like oats, okay?
00:24:36
Speaker
from Holland Oates. Absolutely. Angelo Gennady. He rush wrote. and So I'm a little confused. The credits on the movie say he wrote ah the Friends song and Against the Ninja. Yeah. And then somebody else wrote all the other songs. But on the vinyl. All the instrumentals it said. Well, no, all the like ah tough guy and some of the other songs that play would say it was written by this Lloyd someone. The only other writing credit I saw for music was the and instrumental stuff was written and performed by somebody different.
00:25:06
Speaker
Yeah, I did. I saw that guy because I liked his little like Cynthia interludes. Of course you did. Which made sense because he's worked on some other stuff like serve Nazis must die and Oscar. So but.
00:25:20
Speaker
On the final I have, it says that Angelo Gennady and Dragon Sound wrote and performed all these songs. So I don't know. But either way, it's about a movie that has two releases. Weird. He was only 29. So he's a younger one. Jane, the the only female, is 25. So she's the closest to to the correct age. Me, man. You, Jane. They're all college students. Let's just go with it. Yeah. They're going to high school with the Power Rangers.
00:25:46
Speaker
I mean, you can go to college at any time. It's that's fair. Yeah, because what do they go to here? You that UFC, which I'm pretty sure stands for University College, Florida, UCF, University of Central Florida. No, I like mine. University College, Florida. But so the movie starts in Miami with biker ninjas and so and cocaine as it should. Yeah.
00:26:10
Speaker
Uh, the guy who's apparently leading this group of drug dealers, I'm assuming the one with the, the drug hat. I've got to assume it's the lawyer from Jurassic park. Well, cause he's leading this group. That actor's name, it was like, was like Jeff Escobar or something like that. I was like, so, ah so I wonder how he gets interesting little nepotism, but I do like, so there's, there's this, the ninjas attack these cocaine guys.
00:26:37
Speaker
You can try and normalize it all you want. That's a word. It's a sentence just flew out of your mouth. Was this the fight scene with the machine guns? And when we see the bullets go off, they focus on like just the ground for a bit. And then we just see like the little charges go off and we're just supposed to believe I like the gunfire going on. And it's like you held on to that like for way too fucking long. Don't don't be proud of that shot. Yeah, there's something.
00:27:02
Speaker
and justbs going off and I'm like, why? I enjoy the ninja that's playing peekaboo with the fucking Uzi. Oh, my God, poking his head out. Whoo hoo. Whoo. Well, ah the the one you're talking about, the one that's getting fired at while he's loading his bow and arrow. No, like he's just going back and forth behind a fucking wall like for no good reason except for him to use his bullets up. He does. The the guy gets choked out from behind with a chain, so it worked.
00:27:27
Speaker
I do like the one I was talking about where the guy has the bow and arrow. The arrow. That's so good. He's unloading. He unloads like two clips out of this fucking Uzi and doesn't hit this dude and it's just arrow because ninjas are calm and collected, calm and collected hearing myself in my ears like you know, my words. I think I feel when I listen to you talk.
00:27:50
Speaker
um I do love the guy that's trying to fight one of the ninjas. So the ninja has a sword and he has a metal bar You might pick up what you can get what you can find it going and he gets his fucking arm chopped off. That's nice Yeah, that's a good arm. I think a lot of the money went to this scene and like the last scene hundred percent any sort of prosthetics yeah because they this starts with a dude getting a fucking throwing star in his neck uh-huh and i believe somebody gets the uh that like the half scalping or something like a katana to the forehead that doesn't go all the way through yeah um there's a dude also who picks up some metal bars and does the what are those things called tanfas yeah he does like a tanfa thing and he ends up getting shoved into like a
00:28:31
Speaker
dark doorway and it sounds like he falls like it's just an endless he gets shoved into another dimension. I'm still falling here. um I'm running out of breath from falling and screaming so far um because I haven't I didn't know enough. He's in the back rooms now. He's fine because it's like a closet upside down.
00:28:54
Speaker
It's a closet and he screams for like 20 seconds. You know who's in there? Tom Cruise. Oh, I'm not. I'm not in the closet. I'm not in here. I'm not in here. If you fell into a dark closet and all of a sudden Tom Cruise is down there, you'd scream for 20 seconds to all right. That's when he kills you. That's what he can say. That's how he stays young. Yeah.
Production Insights and Taekwondo
00:29:12
Speaker
He's going to drink your blood. He's going to get so wasted.
00:29:16
Speaker
Then we go into the opening song of the movie, which is because by day ninjas by night exposition. Yeah, I hope you think that's right. We're the good guys. They're the bad guys. They're bikers. We're in a band. We're both ninjas. Something like that, right? I think it's how it goes. It's something along those lines. I'm really happy to see this movie. There is something. It's steal all your cocaine. Ah.
00:29:43
Speaker
Heal all your cocaine along with your life. Bikers by day, ninjas by night, something about a fight. Yeah, like I mean, it's it's singing to the audience what we just saw. The fucked up thing is when the movie's on or I put on that vinyl record, as I often do, huh I can tell you every word. But now that we're talking about it, I'm like, something about a ninja? Because you can hear yourself i again, and I don't like it.
00:30:07
Speaker
Arizona Beer House 33 taps 800 plus cans in bottles. You can do it for here. You can do it to go. You can do whatever you want. Accept that. That's right. Arizona Beer House at 150 South Cove in Tucson, Arizona. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, and every other day of the week. Open 11 a.m. to midnight. We're going to save the whole can, but you're only going to need the tip. I need the tip.
00:30:30
Speaker
During the opening credits sequence, there's like a montage of stuff. And it's like, it's the band playing, which we're then introduced to right after, and then they start playing. But there's also Ninja stuff. Jeff, he's the funny one. There's also Ninja stuff. And ah Yoshito, who is like the head of the bad guy biker gang, ninjas, does a like a fire chopping thing, right? He like lights the bricks on fire with his hands, presumably with magic. Yeah, he focused up his chi. And then he chops through and I only want to mention it because... That's what it does. I only want to mention it because um we did sidekicks for our Shitbird month last year.
Character Backstories and Humor
00:31:11
Speaker
Oh, that's right. And Nicole Mako,
00:31:14
Speaker
Mako, yeah, they do that thing where they light the bricks on fire. That little kid from sidekicks punched through like eight bricks. Yeah. This dude only punched through like three of the 14 he has stacked up. He's older, man. I'm just a fucking pussy. Can you imagine focusing that fire cheat the wrong moment? Like either fooling around with a lady or masturbating. I was at the moment of climax. Roasted my wiener. There we go. That's the best and worst orgasm I've ever had. Now get me the cream.
00:31:43
Speaker
Not that. oh i Start over. on like cream I just made. oh ah But so we have Yoshito meeting up with Jeff. I just love it's Yoshito, which is like a name and everybody else in this movie is Jeff, Jeff, Jim, John, Tom, Jack, Jane, Mark, a Tom, Dick and Harry like the whitest fucking name.
00:32:08
Speaker
Well, I did read that or no, I think I saw it in the interview with YK Kim. So he had this guy, the drummer, write the movie, didn't know anything about screenwriting. So he bought a book about screenwriting and read that and then wrote the script because like what he read in there. I wonder if it's like the big screenwriting book that all these people talk about, like the save the dog moment. Save the cat. Save the cat. Save the cat. Because you know that that guy only ever wrote one screenplay and it's called Blank Check.
00:32:37
Speaker
So it could be the one and I don't remember, I think it's just called screenwriting or on screenwriting or something. The one that I had to buy for school when I was in film school and it was Lawrence Kasdan wrote it. Wait a name drop. I gave Lawrence Kasdan $45 for a book I read quarter of. I mean, depending on the percentage he gets from royalties, I've given him a lot more than that. I bought Save the Cat and I never fucking read it. It's still on my shelf somewhere. Well, just know the guy that wrote it was not a huge success himself, you know?
00:33:06
Speaker
Yeah, so fuck him. So you might be doing the right thing by not reading that. I mean, I bought that screenwriting book for school and were supposed to read it, but they talk about it all in class. Yeah, I got A's. You read it. I definitely didn't read it. You read it, you nerd. I'm not doing that. I read the stuff that was interesting, like where he talked about anecdotes from Star Wars. I like that. Still got that book.
00:33:28
Speaker
ah But this is where we start right out with the bad acting they're going into this club oh boy the Park Avenue Club I learned in the credits that's called Okay, real quick for people that have not seen this movie pause this podcast and watch it Yes, but also do don't listen to Whitney on the couch or the Phantom of the couch Because this is gonna set the tone with just some of the worst acting you'll ever fucking see it's so good No, I mean bad but i've seen worse ah but from some no except for wikingley but when we're done i'm gonna throw in action usa that steve mentioned and then we're gonna watch champagne and bullets okay and you're gonna go oh i mean the best tough guys don't dance oh guys don't dance i know that one but but two of those movies by the way have wings houseusr no it's it's As far as on this show, some of the worst yeah on this podcast. um But it's Yoshito's like, we scored a new shipment of coke. It's the best. OK. And then when they go inside, I love because they see the band playing. but yeah ah It's a new dimension in rock and roll or something, a new dimension in sound. That's what the the club owner says.
00:34:42
Speaker
and he they see them up on stage and Jane is up there. Jane, as we find out, is Jeff's sister. And Yoshida was like, is that your sister? Does she work here? In this moment, the first time I watched this movie, I rented it on Amazon.
00:34:56
Speaker
And this show would have bought it. Yeah. This moment is what convinced me that I was going to like the rest of this movie because Jeff puts his hands up before he speaks and then goes, I don't know what she's doing here. Yeah. She's not supposed to be or something like pretty fucking close to delivery to. Yeah. It's wonderful. I don't know what she's doing here. She's supposed to be at home. At least he he says his sentences and complete sentences. ah ah Unibrow.
00:35:24
Speaker
Yeah, he I haven't written down later when he says something, but he's just like we need to do like, I guarantee you, he's got crib notes on his hand of his fucking lines.
00:35:36
Speaker
ah But yes, this is also where we hear friends forever. We'll be together through this. I don't care what anyone says. This song fucking slaps. I will listen to this song any day of the goddamn week and I will die on that fucking hill. Steve gets it. i i love it Like I said, I bought the vinyl and you think I play it when my wife's home? No. but So I'm listening to it when I'm in the house alone at full blast. Yeah. like sweeping the floor like against the ninja
00:36:06
Speaker
I'm in there cooking dinner. I'm a tough guy That's a song I fucking go number two to Tough guy. So we go to the University of Central Florida. I'm only going to mention the class that Jane is in because it's like some kind of computer programming thing. But this teacher comes up to her. He's like, good circle. That's a good looking circle. Wow. Holy shit.
00:36:35
Speaker
Also, he does mention that they were in a programming competition. He's like, here's the rankings. We got fourth place. And I'm like, well, that could be good, except for you wrote the rankings and there's only four. So he's like, we sent a team. They got fourth. Congratulate them. Like yeah it looks like last out of four. Yeah. Yeah.
00:36:54
Speaker
Yeah, you don't want to mention how many people are actually in that tournament. I thought there would be like 50, but you're right. Yeah, he has it like right there. I was like, oh no, there's only four. let's just And for you, I mean, you went, I guess. Let's just believe that there was like 1,000 teams. And he's like, I'm only recording the top four. like I'm cutting off when we, wherever we are is the cutoff. Yeah. I guess that's it. He's like, I had to write University of Central Florida. I'm out. I'm done. My chalk broke.
00:37:22
Speaker
ah But they john John comes and takes her out of class and I hate his fucking goofball routine I was sitting there watching him and I'm like so he's a man 30 something and she's 25 and he's doing these goofy faces and I'm just like this girl is like Also, you don't have to make goofy faces when this is your face. Just look at her. So did you know that? ah Jane in real life was Girlfriends to Jim. Angelo Gelotti. Angelo Angelo Gennady, the guy that wrote the songs. That's his real girlfriend. Oats. Or was. Yeah. Oats. Holonodes. Yes. That's his trucking name. He has a company that just drives oats all around the country. Holonodes.
Scene Absurdities and Fashion Faux Pas
00:38:00
Speaker
So yes, I do remember talking about that where that is his girlfriend and they kind of had to get him off set. And he's like, they they waited to have ah the two characters kiss when he wasn't there.
00:38:11
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I think I read, said there was like, granola there was a kissing scene and they sent him to buy beer. Perfect. I just, I think I read that on Wikipedia. So, you know, someone could just put it in, but i like it for time for the hand job scene. What they go out and they're like walking together and his.
00:38:30
Speaker
conversation starter is just, um, so like, do you have any family or anything? Yeah. So weird. So fucking weird, man. Who does that? Like, Oh yeah. So how's your family? Also and that's super fucking suspicious because we now know that like his.
00:38:46
Speaker
Uh, her brother is in a fucking gang. Oh, him coming up and just suddenly asking about that makes him look like a fucking narc. Like, right away. but I didn't even think about that because this guy looks too dumb to be one. What's your brother been up to? Any interesting family stuff you got to talk about? Hey, do you have a brother? Also, I'm looking for some blow, like two pounds. Two pounds. The legal trafficking is is what, two pounds? We'll do two pounds. It doesn't seem like a first date. It seemed like you've known each other for a while and you just finally got the balls to be like, so uh... What's up with your family? Yeah, exactly. Any crazy in there? and it's ah it's ah It's a running thing through this because he's like, do you have family is how he starts it. Not what is up with your family, but do you have family, which everyone has family. You know why? And then later on. The theme is family. No, close. This is a band of orphans. Yeah. They want to see, like, if she has family, they're going to kill them. Well, you're in this band, you have no parents. It's like being a superhero, dude. Well, luckily for her.
00:39:44
Speaker
Her mom died. Oh, yes. ne Her dad left them and then her mom died right after that. And then her dad died. So sweet. So she's an orphan. Yeah. Oh, we're going to make it in this industry. None of us have parents, ah except for Jim. Yeah. Now he's got a dad. They got to kill him.
00:40:02
Speaker
Don't worry, they're they're cooking something up. They're like, oh, good, someone we can inherit something from. This house is falling apart. Kill the Jim's dad. But he meets Jeff, Morke Norris, and right out of the gate. First of all, Jeff, wearing this dangly earring. This one has like a tooth or like a fang. I don't know what this is. Some kind of carved bone. Later on, he's got just got a feather. I need both of those earrings.
00:40:28
Speaker
Why is it always a dangly earring? I need him. I love this, though, because he ah ah Monster Phelps comes in, tries to be nice, you know, like, hey, I've heard a lot about you about the business, the family business. And he just he's like, who the hell is this? Oh, it's my friend. And he gets is when he says that this is my friend, when she says this is my friend, you might as well have said, like, oh, he's been begging me unprotected in your room. yeah yeah like did he said He reacted like the worst thing ever, like, a fucking friend?
00:40:57
Speaker
Ugh, not my sister. You don't have time for friends. is You're in college. Fucking sane. My God. Fucking wild. Like, he goes from zero to five hundred. Like, just like that. Like, Jesus Christ. What F word? Friend. Then we see have this scene back at the club and there's this other band who, OK, well, I guess we needed this, but this other band who's confronting the club owner because they were fired in favor of Dragon Sound. And I want to mention real quick, this guy who plays the lead of this band this is the best actor in the movie. ah He was a real life federal prosecutor.
00:41:35
Speaker
ah Dude, he is so fucking good in this movie because he just starts at 10 and never takes it down. yeah and hes yeah Once I found out he was a prosecutor, I was like, I don't want him to be like, I don't want to be defending against him because he's got this voice like this. Well, he just calls everybody a fucking turd in a tit and a shit, and he's just yelling no fucking time. Keep my fucking job back, you fucking turd.
00:41:57
Speaker
He's just thinking of all those mobsters he put away, all those ninjas that he put away. You think cocaine ninja biker gang is new to me? I'm from Orlando. And they get into this like fight with the guy, the club owner keeps screaming, your music's for old people. like Anybody else really want to hear this band?
00:42:17
Speaker
I do. bit I want to see what the fucking difference was. Like, OK, let's see how shit they actually are. Because it this club owner like just fucking lays these guys out like they are nothing. Yeah. Like, oh, my God. And that was right. Not only does he whoop him up, he whoops him up. And then our federal prosecutor guy is like, next time I'll fucking kill you. Like you you and six dudes just got your ass beat.
00:42:41
Speaker
Nobody in this movie is not doing shit. Nobody in this movie seems to have the solution of let's shoot these people. Yeah, it's always like, did you get rid of that band yet? No, we fought them and they won. Yeah. Well, we saw what happened to the game when the drug dealers tried to shoot ninjas. They think the same thing is going to happen. There is a quick conversation between Yoshido and Jeff about how he needs to get rid of the band or whatever. But Yoshido is like, you have to get rid of that band so you can get control over this area.
00:43:08
Speaker
I'm pretty sure Jeff has control over the crime. I don't think Dragon Sound is a crime fighting outfit until Jeff keeps pulling them in. I mean, maybe there's some some deleted shit they're supposed to be. But yeah, they just they play music and they're friends forever. And they do the Taekwondo for fun. But here's the problem. It's literally just mad because they took their job at the club.
00:43:30
Speaker
gar they're there're so They're spinning it as like they're taking over their crime syndicate. And I'm like, they're really not. You can still go do all your crime shit. Who cares? Okay. The band they replaced also sang exposition, but theirs was about like, go to the third stall on the right. We've got Coke. Five bucks for this bag. Ten for double. Hey, you in the red shirt. Don't you want some cocaine? You look like you do. I love that my nose is running. I'm talking to you. I love that my nose is running and I keep sniffling while we're talking about cocaine.
00:43:59
Speaker
I think it's like a Pavlovian response. to Did you say cocaine? Oh, there goes my boogers. No, it's because it was 70 degrees last week and now it's 90. I know. I know. I don't know. I don't know the conversion to Celsius to make that make sense for Steve. It's been it's been kind of the same thing here. It was really cold like last week and then this week the fucking temperature shot right back up. Yeah. Yeah. It's like May again. Yeah, it feels bad. Yeah.
00:44:25
Speaker
That's OK. We're only a few days away from Halloween while we're recording this spoiler alert for those listening. Yeah. um Then we have against the ninja being played in the club. And this is the note I took was Jim's dancing is everything. Every fucking thing he so he plays the keyboards.
00:44:43
Speaker
He has two. Well, this aren't the only one, but next time he's got two. Well, he's a he's a fucking famous Michael Jackson brother, isn't he? Isn't he a Tito? But he is just grooving and he's one of the Jackson six. He's one of the people who doesn't know how to play an instrument or do Taekwondo. Right. I think they were like, well, we got to hire. So we need to. We have a quota to fill. I don't know. Monster Phelps is trying to pantomime and it's decent, but it's not.
00:45:08
Speaker
It's not real. Yeah. Jim's is not real. YK Kim's is some of the worst. He's making love to that guitar instead of pretending to play it. He's like yeah he's like just slapping the shit out of the strings too. Like, dude, you're not playing fucking bass right now. Do you want to get a room you two? Half the time he's not even touching the guitar. Most of the time he's just doing Taekwondo. You know, they're all like, do we really have to have this guy in the band? Well, he can kick all of our asses. So, yeah. He pays the rent because he's got inheritance from someone. He's 40 years old. He's retired. He's got his AARP card. He retired from the military. hes He got done early.
00:45:47
Speaker
ah then there's this fight in this like bar district and I told Whitney while we were watching this because we're going on a cruise in this is that worry dude that so that's what we said last time this looks exactly like New Orleans it looks like a part of New Orleans but I looked it up it was a real like bar district I can't remember what they called it now in Orlando and like I was going to go there. I was like, I'm going to go to one of these places that taco place that's next to them. It looks like, cause it's like a southwestern building. I do. I couldn't imagine a worse place to get tacos in Florida. Oh no, it would be awful, but I want to go just so I could find a ninja, but like I looked it up and apparently it shortly, like in the nineties after this, it degraded and became a really bad area. And then some can
00:46:29
Speaker
Crypto boy like capital What are they called venture capitalist type dude? Yeah bought the area and he was gonna revitalize it and basically try to make more money off it herpes But then he got arrested for a Ponzi scheme and it was seized as it goes So now there's real ninjas there there might be yeah but Potentially yeah but There's this big fight that it's the The singer from the other band, he's like, you took our job and fucking my kid was like, uh, no, no, and the manager gave it. I can't do it. It's a sign. We didn't we didn't take your jobs. It's given to us. You know what I'm saying? The thing on. yeah yeah You got to take it up at the manager. It's not my fault. I didn't take your jobs. That just sounds like fucking Bruce Glover's dad or Bruce Glover is the dad. Sounds like Bruce Glover. Hey, did hey, guys. Who's Bruce Glover? He's k Crispin Glover's dad. He's he's a if you see him pop up in movies. He's the character actor he's very He becomes later on very mush mouth like he's probably done a lot of drugs. Oh, okay. Well he yeah lovers to hang out hey You got a cigarette I can bum I do like the one guy like comes over to
00:47:39
Speaker
The singer's like, we're going to fucking show you. And this dude comes over, he's like, you want some beer? And starts pouring it on him. And fucking monster. Real threatening, by the way. Has to lean in to get the beer poured out. I mean, they all just sit there and take it and they grab. I think it's Unibrow. It could be Hall of Nodes. Like they pull him out of the car and there's no resistance whatsoever. Mike, you guys are supposed to, according to your lyrics, fight the ninja. Well, these aren't ninjas. These are just fat guys. yeah They're trying to be ninjas.
00:48:08
Speaker
They're ninja adjacent because these guys haven't joined up with Jeff's gang yet. So they didn't get the ninja cred. Oh, that's true. That's true. OK, I forgot. I was thinking it was all Jeff's crew. But YK Kim, of course, is the ass kicker of this sequence. He's just taken out like three, four dudes at a time. And it's always goes into like slow motion and like that. thats Look, YK Kim made this great movie. Yes. This man's face should not be shown in slow motion. Freeze frame 4K.
00:48:38
Speaker
I'm trying to be gentle about it, but it's a haunting face. He has deep features and just terrible mannerisms. It's like a pissed off jack-o'-lantern. Yeah. That you left out in the sun for a little too long. Also, by the end of this sequence, we have reached 12 men grunting. Oh, wow. I was taking it throughout my notes. I was like, this many. So I wouldn't forget. Where are we? Oh, we're at 34 men grunting. Gotcha.
00:49:06
Speaker
12 men grunting, 12, 11 men groaning. 10 and just flipping. Oh, yeah. So 10 and just kicking. So close. Nine swords going clang. Seven or if it's rocking. Oh, you skipped eight. Oh, I don't like eight. Okay. it's Bad number.
00:49:24
Speaker
um So back back at the house, Jim gets a letter from Washington, D.C. um And my monster Phelps being 11 and a half feet tall is like i'm using him. Like, but you gotta, you gotta try harder than that. You gotta to be quicker. Like that fucking Geico commercial. ah And he's like like, it's just squeal.
00:49:44
Speaker
Give it to me, the letter. It's not fair, give it. This is where the the all-male porn starts, because everyone comes up like, what are you trying to do, wake the neighbors? Bring them over. Come on. Well, YK Kim and Monster Phelps are both wearing sleeveless shirts. Everybody else is shirtless. Yeah. And I think two of them have their pants on them. Yeah. Look, I've had roommates. um This is not how we hung out. This might be a normal house, but they have a communal shower.
00:50:11
Speaker
and And they all take it at the same time. Yeah, exactly. It's like it's not that there's enough room. They're like, it it's shower time. And everyone just jumps in. We're college students. It's like, this is Diddy's side house. All right, guys, it's time to shower. Diddy's It's better than R. Kelly's style. well Is that LeBron James in a French made outfit? I don't know if you guys saw that one. but That's going around, too. I think it has something to do with the Diddy thing. And there's pictures of LeBron James dressed like a French maid. How's he look? Pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah. I mean, it's LeBron James. But ah he's telling them now that he's been trying to find his father. And this is when YK Kim was like, wait, you have a father? I thought Joe Norfin died throughout the month. I mean, they had parents. I thought he was like, can I have some eggs? Oh, God. that's That's not how it works, dude. Like, come on. Jesus Christ.
00:51:06
Speaker
You still have mothers and fathers, my dude. Like, come on. And I don't know if we can stress enough how awful that this delivery is from YK cam. In a movie of like bad deliveries, this is king. Oh, yeah. It gets me every single time. But I love it. Oh, it's it' so bad. It's just amazing. yeah And the Jim gives his like, his attempted Oscar speech here was when he gets emotional.
00:51:33
Speaker
And I just, maybe it's the correct way to say it, but at this point in time, it's very funny to hear him. He's like, my mother was Korean and my father. Black American. I just can't stop. yeah so i mean This is where I think we coined the term Giuseppe's, like the fake Oscars, because this guy is giving his all. This is the best fake cry in a terrible movie you'll ever see. This is this scene, yes, is where we came up with that in that first what episode seven, ah which is available on our Patreon at patreon dot.com slash worst people. Three by months.
00:52:09
Speaker
it's We we never carried through with it because it's a lot of extra work. But watching this movie made me think we need to do a Giuseppe's awards. Oh, for sure. And we can work on it. And Steve, because they I asked, I was like, who's Giuseppe's shitty younger brother? Or who's Oscar's shitty younger brother? Oscar's shitty younger brother. And Jack said Giuseppe. So we're going to give our own awards to to terrible movies that have great moments. Best crying. This movie is going to win a lot of them. It really is. Best monster face.
00:52:40
Speaker
Oh, God. Yeah. We just make up categories, too. It's not even like best actor, best actress. I mean, best ball shot. This might have it. But then again, we've also covered the labyrinth. so David Bowie's crotch usually wins. ah There's one more thing Jim is like, you know, my mom told me to find my dad, whatever. But he's like, I didn't like him because he left us. I'm like, well, yeah, no shit, dude. I didn't like him because he left us. Then we cut to the beach and we're playing grab ass in the ocean.
00:53:11
Speaker
It's all the band. I was gonna say the gang. That's the other people. no they're They're kind of a gang. just We like them. they're They're the good gang. Good gangs. But theyre they're playing grab ass in the ocean. They go driving down.
00:53:25
Speaker
ah This is when Whitney pointed out their car is fucking filthy and I was like, well, it's because they didn't clean it after the fight. Yeah. It's just been romping around this fucking set, just getting all crazy. But they're ah scoping out babes. but but But something happens in this that I absolutely hate when it's showing like babes and butts and boobs. And then at one point it cuts to like a little girl in her bikini in the shower. I'm like, why are we doing this? Why are we cutting to this, dude?
00:53:48
Speaker
And then there's like a little boy building a sand castle, but the camera keeps going over and then that's girls butts. And it's like, let's not, if you're trying to get us to think about butts, boobs and babes, keep it on the three B's. Yeah. But also the, they definitely, uh, didn't have this beach shut down. These aren't extras.
00:54:04
Speaker
True. True. Although I was going to say they weren't shooting with permits and they weren't, but I did read, or no, I think Kim said it again in the interview that he was so like popular with local businesses and and politicians and whatnot. Cause he was a well-known figure in that area. Yeah. That they all basically were like, yeah, it's cool, man. Come shoot your movie. Makes sense. ah He didn't have to pay for locations, which is nice. Cause from what I understand, he had a bunch of dojos all over Florida or Orlando rather. Yeah.
00:54:31
Speaker
Um, I do like, uh, when Hall and Oates there is doing his, he's trying to flex, but he's literally pushing up his arm with his finger. Like should have had to get behind you to it. like her Like this is me when I'm fucking six years old. like roar yeah look at that Quick, give me a tennis ball, I'm gonna stuff it on my sleeve. She'll never see you coming. And ah Jane is very nice because I'm pretty sure it's Monster Phelps who has the line, they don't make buns like those down at the bakery. Well, huh. And then immediately starts making out with Jane, so. I just saw that girl's butt and I'm all horny. and Make out with me, mama. um ah These people are have to be
00:55:10
Speaker
actors or they have lost because uh Paula notes does this thing where he's trying to hit on these girls and one who kind of looks like Juliette Lewis shoves him over I was thinking Jennifer gray um okay yeah I could see that she has like the the the mouth of Juliette Lewis thing but she shoves them and he lands on all these girls and they're all trying to like slap him and beat him up but they're all just giggling yeah and I'm like dude this guy is so hard right now oh yeah yeah Play it cool. My girlfriend's over there making out with monster Phelps, dude. That's what they did. They shot the kissing scene while he was being fondled by women so he wouldn't feel so bad about it. Do you want to come over here in a minute? I just I can't stand up right now. Got a cramp or something. I don't know. By the way, we do include a men grunting subtitle in this one too.
00:55:55
Speaker
I finally had some females to this porno. oh They keep telling him to leave and they're like, leave, leave. But they're slapping him like down into the ground. but Like he can't fucking leave. I'm like, you're literally pinning him there. Like, what do you want? Fetish unlocked. Keep your clothes on. Get out of here. You literally just chained me.
00:56:18
Speaker
Then we see Jeff's gym. It's not better than gold, worse than gold's gym. Jeff's gym. I want the spin off of Jeff's gym. I do too because these characters, there's fat ginger and jeans. Humpty Dumpty please because he is all top no bottom. He's wearing, I don't know if they're supposed to be skinny jeans but is he is like Danny DeVito's fucking put into yoga pants.
00:56:42
Speaker
Oh my god. It looks like DeVito in the penguin suit with no without the stuff on, though. We've also got Skidrock. Yeah, that's what we ended up calling him. I couldn't remember what we called him last time. I called him Yellow Wolf this time, which is kind of the same thing. Skidrock, Yellow Wolf. And then there's a guy that looks a lot like Karate's bad boy, Mike Barnes. Oh, OK. I was going to go with Ratboy.
00:57:06
Speaker
I like you. That might not be the one I was thinking of. Right. Because there's a few guys, the one that the band leader guy comes in and talks to. He's like, I need to talk to your boss. He looks like. Karate Nathan Fillion. OK. Yeah. ah He looked a lot like kar Karate's bad boy, Mike Barnes, which for those who don't know i don't know like Karate Kid three.
00:57:24
Speaker
The one with terryliber Terry Silver. Terry Silver, yeah. He was actually younger than Daniel, than the actor Ralph Macchio in that movie. Oh, really? Yeah. like it's so It's supposed to be such an age gap. And it's like, no, no. Ralph Macchio's got like two or three years on Terry Silver. Well, in Cobra Kai, you could tell he was older because his hair was all gray. Uh-huh.
00:57:42
Speaker
so But yeah, that's it's the guy that Perry Silva hires or like trains to take out Daniel Russo. Yeah. Karate's bad boy, Mike Barnes. That's how they say it almost every time in the movie. So that's how I've always said it.
00:58:01
Speaker
um So, yeah, he wants to speak to the boss. Jeff comes out, he's like, you know, we need your help. These guys took our jobs. They took our jobs. But they're all but they're all black belts in Taekwondo and they're pretty bad. They're real bad customers. And then his deal is I want to hire you to take these guys out so we can get our job back. And any money I make from the band, you get all of it.
00:58:28
Speaker
What? Fucking why? What? Yeah, exactly. Like, what in the actual fuck? That is the worst business model I have ever fucking heard. I got it. I'm going to take all the money I earn and just give it right back to you. And I'm going to just fucking live on the stage, I guess. I got it. He's going to give him all the money from that, but he gets the rights to retoys and all the retail. Oh, goddamn it. He's pulling on George Lucas. Yeah, go full Lucas, dude. All right. i You can have all the money, but I get the rights to the merchandising. You got to kick the shit out of this dragon sound band. Sounds like some stupid Star Trek shit anyway. yeah There's no sound in space unless it's my movies.
00:59:11
Speaker
ah So that's that that we get. My least favorite scene of the movie, because it takes so long, it's the YK Kim doing like a kata, like floor workout thing. Tae Kwon Do. We don't need it. It's a demonstration, right, with other people? Yeah. Well, yeah it's a demonstration for his two students. Yeah. For Monster Felves and Unibrow. I'm sorry. I think that he's using this moment to sell his Tae Kwon Do-ness. Yeah. And I mean, it does. There is a Chekhov's Gun moment in this scene ah because we have YK Kim does his thing and then he fights Unibrow. And there is that moment, though, at the end of their fight where he like just to punch him in the mouth. You think he's going to do Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid 2, where he's like, live or die, die. Wrong answer. Honk. And he honks his nose. so No, no, no. He does not honk the nose. No, this is the first of two times that he forces something into this man's mouth. He fucking. All that we know of. On camera.
01:00:08
Speaker
but Yeah, but I mentioned that there's like a check-offs gun moment and that's the next fight with monster Phelps Which is like another exercise and Phelps has the little fake knife Yeah, and it shows why cake him like disarming him and then like he sneaks up behind him and why can't Kim takes it from him and stabs him in the stomach That's exactly how the the last fight goes. Uh-huh. So at least they That screenwriting book said something about Chekhov's gun. Yeah. Introduce this and then do it later. Uh, but he does do the thing as I think it's two Phelps where he pinches his nose with his toes. You betcha. All right. Well, we know back to Mr. Miyagi karate kid too. Now he does do the nose Honka Honka. He's like, well, I can't do it. Uh, Pat Morita already did that. You know what? I can do it with my feet.
01:00:57
Speaker
Not better. Well, because Taekwondo. They plan their ah world tour to promote Taekwondo and happiness or friendship or something. Yeah. Oh, it's the hardest cut, by the way, because this is like an supposedly like a kind of actiony scene with like a little bit of picked up music. And then it's a hard cut to these three sitting at a table dead silent eating.
01:01:20
Speaker
And this one you fart this was the point where I had the line of unibrow where he was pausing so much because they're talking about writing a new song about whatever this is the worst he does and he says It's I'd love to help you write that song but Jeff and his damn gang Selling their stupid cocaine cocaine question mark He's like what drug are they so have we tried giving this guy cocaine I It might punch up the performance a wee bit, but like we get a to learn a little bit about all of our ah ah heroes here because they're like, we're going to go to a world tour of all the countries that we come from. We're going to go to Ireland. Go to Ireland? I like Ireland. And I was like, sure. We'll also go to Israel, which is where my family's from, and Italy, which is what the fuck is his name?
01:02:14
Speaker
Holonotes, yeah but Whatever, which is Holonotes home country. I'm like, I'm pretty sure he's from America Well, I was expecting YK Kim to get mad like wait you have parents too And you have parents? This is fucking bullshit. I thought we were all fucking orphans here. Am I the only one that was grown in a tube? Well to be fair he's the one who the only one who looks like it so let's admit a little while that's what happened to his face they left him into long to do yeah uh... gail squished he did the little teleportation from the with a fly except somehow a jar play-doh got put in there with them but what is that but that's that that's it but but but but
01:03:07
Speaker
Did you fall asleep at the table? No. Well, the family circus is on your face. So shitty ass family service. Oh, so they go or we we cut to Uncle Song's restaurant and this is the director who sang Park.
01:03:22
Speaker
And there's these tough dudes I want to say before they stand up. This is the big shot coming up. These guys are sitting in there eating and making a ruckus and they get up to do Dine and Dash. They're like, I'm not paying for this shit. But this dude in the group, this black dude is his shorts. Look, I've seen basketball from like the 70s and these are shorter than those. um I'm wearing boxer briefs right now. They're longer than these shorts. I'm not even joking.
01:03:49
Speaker
I'm pretty sure that i I've like seen girls wearing like boy shorts that might've been longer than this. I've seen less butthole on a stripper. Like this guy had turns and it's just like, bor did absurdly tiny amount of shorts.
01:04:06
Speaker
like Yeah, that is insane like it's all I could like basically stare at during the scene i'm like I don't know what else is going on because what is happening with those shorts my god And it's not your fault because you come eye to eye with his religion. I mean you just fucking it like oh yeah that yeah Well, I know I no longer have to wonder what your penis looks like They had to cut out some of the fight shots because it kept flopping out. ah
Indecent Exposure and Apron Antics
01:04:29
Speaker
Don't kick don't kick. It's like ah Billy Madison balls Oh, old and weird looking. But ah Uncle Song proceeds to beat the shit out of all these guys. And then Dragon's Day shows up wearing a Mickey and Minnie Mouse apron. That's awesome. I knew he was wearing an apron. I didn't notice it was a definitely a Mickey and Minnie Mouse apron. Like what a fucking bad. I wish he was wearing one of those ones where it looks like a skinny bikini lady. I would have been ideal instead of kiss the chef it would be kick the chef.
01:05:07
Speaker
Okay, so Dragon Sound shows up. I mean that joke is chef's kick.
01:05:13
Speaker
And they're like, Oh man, I want to learn how to beat people up like you did. And I'm like, we just watched you guys kick like 42 people's ass. You've actually
Taekwondo Philosophy and Stage Performance
01:05:20
Speaker
been doing that. But he's, this is like a whole Taekwondo lesson where he's like, it's not about violence and this and that. And then it has like a short size that's a weird transition to them performing on stage. YK Kim talks about how Taekwondo is about beauty and whatever.
01:05:37
Speaker
and This is when he's doing the kick thing on stage and he grabs fucking Jim's Again back to Jim's dancing being everything though, dude. He is working them fucking shoulders da Yeah, that's what I mean. He's doing like a whole like it's shoulders and hips, but like I don't know man Yeah, I don't have the rhythm for it I have that same dance when I watch somebody slicing like cutting up ribs You'll see if you see the video version of this you'll see me trying good oh dude he's got it Like it's the whole body while he's playing and he's doing such a good job. He's doing it while he's getting his nose pinched by toes. Yes, true. And how I got to wonder is you got like a fucking foot pad down there. You're going to wipe your foot off before like each take. Don't don't just barefoot. No, don't Florida barefoot my face with your foot. Did you see the bottom of his feet on the outdoor scene at least? No. Filthy. I look at women's feet, buddy. My foot fetish is not universal.
01:06:37
Speaker
um Then
Endless Fights and Band Interludes
01:06:38
Speaker
they have a ah note stuck to the car to meet downtown at the railroad tracks. And I incorrectly thought this was the end of the movie. This is where the movie ends, this location. Yes. But not this time. there is this is This movie is a sequence of fights for the most part. Yeah. Sure. Sprinkle in a little fucking um ah band. But the rest is just like, you get like five chapters of brawls. Yeah.
01:07:03
Speaker
Not a complaint. No, it's it's it's pretty much ideal. Yeah. Fights with musical interludes of some music. If I have to go to the bathroom and get like not pause, this is going to be during one of the songs. Well, because you can still hear it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Look at the song. Have they done the Taekwondo song yet? I think so. i know That's against the ninja, isn't it? During the foot. Yeah. I just I love the chant.
01:07:31
Speaker
Oh, so does. yeah So does YK Kim. Oh, my God. on His face is so great. So him doing that and yelling and chanting is 100 percent believable. All these other guys doing it is believable, but they have Jane singing. And when she's doing like Tae Kwon, Tae Kwon and doing the fist, I'm like, I can see it in her face. It's a lot like when ah Phelps earlier was making goofy faces at her. She's just like, what does my life become? Well, I told you I'd be an actor one day, dad.
01:08:00
Speaker
take I made it. I made it and I didn't even have to do porn. ah Might've been better to do porn. Made more money. You would tell your parents about that before you tell about this.
01:08:15
Speaker
Well, not now. When you did it, though. Yeah. Yeah. There was a bunch of scenes with men grunting, a bunch of shirtless dudes all share a house and a shower and towels. ah You sure you didn't do porn? Pretty sure.
Topless Men and Biker Gangs
01:08:29
Speaker
Pretty sure I didn't do porn. Hey, but she's not topless. That's true. So she can tell her parents about it. There's a lot of toplessness in this movie. It just ain't chicks. Well, there's some. Hold on. Wait for it. If it turns out if you pay a bunch of bikers and their ladies with beer,
01:08:44
Speaker
you're going to see some ba shirt You're gonna see some
01:08:48
Speaker
but so jeff Jeff and his gang are waiting at the tracks. they're I just took note of crazy ADR because it's the the federal prosecutor guy. When he says, like they're talking about them showing up and he's like, they're dead meat.
01:09:02
Speaker
but like Either his mouth didn't move or it moved in a completely different way. And it's so like gravelly, like he's had a gravelly delivery. Yeah. But it's just literally like they're dead, mate. It's someone is trying to do his voice. Yeah. Well, he's always yelling. Let me try this real quick. You're a dead mate. Should have done that. He's just biker cocaine ninja cowboy fan boy. So they have a rumble. It's only the guys who actually know Taekwondo, which would be YK Kim.
01:09:32
Speaker
ah Monster Phelps and ah Unibrow. Yeah. See, I have all their names written down here, and now I'm like, shit, what are the new names? Ah, the better names, better names. Well, they are, because what do listeners and us would be confused if I'm like, well, so Jim, Jack, Joe and Jill walk into a bar. No, no, no. Monster Phelps, YK Kim, Uni B. That's his rap name, Uni B.
01:09:57
Speaker
ah Oh, but it's only those guys because they're the ones who actually know Taekwondo. Angelo Janati did this movie because he was like, I'll write some songs for you. Yeah. And I don't know. I don't. Someone knew Jim.
01:10:09
Speaker
OK, Maurice Smith, because he he never acted again. He doesn't know Taekwondo. He can't play an instrument. But he can cry on demand. kind Maybe that's it. They were like, who can get emotional and kind of cry? they They heard this guy crying at a bar one night. What are you doing next weekend, dude? Looking for my father. Save that energy and use it.
01:10:32
Speaker
um I didn't. So there's this is a big fight. I'm not going to go through the whole thing. I did take note of the one guy whose head gets bounced off a fucking train wheel. Oh, boy. Yeah. Because I was like, ow, there's not even like a prosthetic or anything. So I think that guy really got his head bounced off of like ah an iron train. we They already kidnapped.
01:10:50
Speaker
Oh, that's coming. on That's coming. up All right. Sorry. I guess this is the same fight where YK cam. I'm pretty sure he like kill someone with a metal bar like, no, that's the next time they're at the train yard. OK. Yeah, because this one right now they're still pulling punches, as it were. Well, yellow wolf and and this guy it looks like Corey Haim start fighting ah monster Phelps. Just another random extra.
01:11:13
Speaker
If you go through the IMDB on this, it's just like Ninja, Ninja, Ninja, Ninja, Ninja, Ninja, Ninja, Ninja. Jeff King, Jeff King, Jeff King, Jeff King Orlando. gang orlando gang orlando gang It's insane. And no one has a picture. Uh, Bubba, whatever his name is, does.
01:11:28
Speaker
Nail face. Nail face. Yeah. How could I forget? ah But
Awkward Cop Interactions
01:11:32
Speaker
ah so here they're fighting John, but then the the cops show up and everybody's like, it's the fuzz. These cops are just the best line deliverers ever. ah Real cops. You could tell. He's like, we got to do something about these Orlando gangs. Oh, you're telling me.
01:11:47
Speaker
Like there's no, you should just be upset at gangs in Florida. You use it. Uh, one of them also, they both take their guns out. One of them definitely points his gun while he's talking directly at the other guy's chest. Uh, presumably because he's nervous about being on camera and not thinking about guns, they fucking muzzle awareness. Yeah.
01:12:07
Speaker
yeah Because those, if those are real cops, those are real guns. Yes. He's also just like, I don't know, man, I'm a cop. but What do you do with a gun? You pointed at a person. There's no one else around. I'm pointing at him. Not correct. That's what they teach in cop safety school. They don't teach that. Sounds about right. They don't have cop safety school. It's called a cabamie.
01:12:34
Speaker
Then there's a biker montage. Which is the best I can do for that. Yeah. It's a bunch of bikers hanging out partying. ill ah the The beginning of Stone Cold. For sure. But it's the song. I'm a tough guy. I'm a tough guy. and Oh, my God. Don't think I've ever heard a song that contradicts itself more. As soon as I hear you writing up to this song, I, in fact, don't think you're a tough guy. OK, so everybody here is like a real biker. So they're big, gruff.
01:13:00
Speaker
burly dudes, beards, tattoos, leathers, and then in the lead of this gang is our villain Yoshito who is wearing like the cleanest brand new leather jacket and like a white neckerchief that's flowing in the wind. I'm gonna go as far to say as it's a scarf.
01:13:17
Speaker
It is a fucking star flowing in the way, dude like a fighter pilot. It's tough. He's a tough guy. Like if we've learned anything watching biker movies this year and I think we have, I hope so. It's that biker gangs are all Nazis. Yeah, for the most part. I don't think Yoshito is leading a gang of bikers. Also, you're going to tell me the Nazis weren't friends with Japanese people. Oh, that's like your history books. we're We're fighting with the Japanese now between you and me. They don't look very airy. That's one of the best lines of Jojo Rabbit.
01:13:48
Speaker
ah but But so these guys supposed to be the ninjas Bikers? yeah No, this is their bigger organization, I'm guessing. okay This is how they transport their cocaine. He's networking. He's got the biker gang that does the the selling and the ninja gang that does the stealing and killing. uh huh and then they're all ah did Your plan is so stupid, by the way. Eventually, it's going to get out like, hey, don't buy cocaine from this Yoshido dude. Why? Well, because every time someone buys cocaine from him, a group of ninjas miraculously shows up and takes all the shit. yeah And weirdly enough, there's one in white, and he looks an awful lot like Yoshido.
01:14:23
Speaker
Until the end of the movie. I saw both these guys do the fire hands. Don't look too deep. Well, at the end of the movie, it's definitely not him. No. But there's a reason for that. OK. I'll tell you when we get there.
01:14:35
Speaker
ah but yes so they're messing with some tough guys there's a guy who dumps his bike doing donuts which is funny because they left that in and everyone's just laughing and so many boobs meaty clackers like there's so many chicks that are just like and they're everybody's staring directly at the camera too she's like hey yeah it's like early girls gone wild well it's because they probably i was just gonna they probably told him like just you know partied up Like, all right, and as they as they're getting a little more loose and getting a little paid more with a little bit more beer, like, hey, guess what? The girls are coming out now. Yeah.
01:15:06
Speaker
There's this one lady who's like a bear lady, but she's in the first part they show. She's got her boobs out. She's out in front of the place partying in the next thing. And then inside the bar, she's standing next to Jeff. Jeff. mores Yeah. And she's just got them out and she's like, Hey, oh, she's fucking funneling herself. She's giving herself a full breast exam while talking to more Norris. Sorry. I'm overdue for this. And then there's that guy that puts a nail in his nose and went on to have a career. Yeah.
01:15:33
Speaker
And it's honestly terrifying. Did you happen to get as upset as I did with Yoshido's lighting of his cigarette? though like The whole interaction, he asked the guy for a smoke, and his hand... Oh my god. His hand holds the cigarette. I wanted to slap him. It looks like you've never held a cigarette in your life. and He kind of like snapped to the guy to light it for him, and he does. like These bikers are going to eat you up, dude.
01:15:54
Speaker
No, I was I was watching in the background seeing if anything and extra insane happened. Gotcha. No, I was it was as an ex cigarette smoker. It was upsetting. Well, this is my I concur. There's like my sixth time seeing this in the last couple of years. So I'm just like, what's going on back there? Well, an extra work in this movie is phenomenal. If you're going to just watch a movie to see background performers, this is a top notch one because they're just normal people who didn't know they were in a movie oh and say normal.
01:16:24
Speaker
We go back to the house. YK Kim's blanket on his bed is a U-Haul moving blanket. Did you guys catch that? Oh my God, he didn't catch that. Holy. Like not only is that not a blanket. Hey, if it's good enough to keep my furniture warm, i going it's good enough to keep me warm on my furniture. You know what I'm saying? Thanks. I don't need to get scratched when I'm trying to sleep. Hey, what if I fall down and go protect myself?
01:16:45
Speaker
But that's the scratchiest blanket on the planet. Yeah. I have one hanging over my front door to keep the sun out. I use one as a sound blanket. Oh, perfect. When we used to record in the back room, that's what I tried doing. I hung them up on all the walls. I was like, look, you gave them $15. If you bring them back, you get your money back. It looks like I spent $15. $15 it is. And when we need to move, bloop. I got to talk to you about a blanket guy.
01:17:13
Speaker
This is also where YK Kim is force-feeding everyone grapes? it it Okay. So the second time he's forcing food or things into people's mouths in this movie. It's upsetting to watch anyone feed someone grapes, but the way he does it is the worst way to feed so many grapes ever. He like palms it and puts his hand flush against your face. It's a handful and it's just... right
01:17:41
Speaker
Uh, it's just so weird. Like I, could you imagine living in a house with somebody that i actually fucking did that to you? Like I'd be moving out the next day. I'd be like, no, like I fucking know. That's an eviction notice, even to myself. yeah You shove a grape in my mouth and I walk into my room and start putting things in a suitcase. Hey, uh, that packing blanket we were talking about earlier. Can I use that?
01:18:01
Speaker
I gotta get this. I'm moving the fuck out right now. You pop a grape in my mouth. You slapped it into my mouth. If he was popping them, that'd be one thing. Just a little boop. But he's just, yeah just sharp. I wonder what's happening here. Like he's, he's just like, I need to do something in this scene. I want to make sure that everyone knows nutrition is important because if you're one of my students, you're going to eat right too. I read in that book about directing movies. Cause he read one of those when he had to shoot reshoots. I read in that book about directing movies that people often eat in scenes to make something engaging action. I've seen Brad Pitt notions 11.
01:18:32
Speaker
ah ah or a And after reading, he's eating, he's eating all the time in that. I have a theory that Brad Pitt has such a strict regimen, like nutrition diet that he's like, I, I, I'm not eating that food. My character, Rusty is eating a plate of nachos. I don't eat nachos. I'm Brad fucking Pitt. I was in a fight club shirtless. You see that shit? I was shredded. But if Rusty wants nachos for the scene, he gets nachos. Double bacon cheeseburger. It's script. It says it right there in the script for me. I'm just a method actor.
01:19:04
Speaker
Fine, I'll have sex with your wife. It's in the script.
01:19:10
Speaker
ah So this is when Jeff's gang comes and kidnaps, uh, hauling out from this Denny's parking lot. And it's dude, it's like the, it's the three knuckleheads that we like. Yeah. it's Well, it's not the, the one that you, the Ninja Philian, but there is a rat boy, uh, Tana DeVito and yoga pants and skid rock.
01:19:32
Speaker
yeah That guy came to be on yoga pants. I mean, it's coming up here, but like they kidnapped Tom. They take him back to the gym. Jane shows up. She's like Tom. Tom, by the way, I wrote down the name. That's why I said Tom. but All the notes she goes to the gym. She's like, where is all the notes in this? And Danny DeVito and yoga pants like, man, I see nobody since 1962. What? What the fuck does that even mean? I wanted the same fucking thing. I'm like, am I missing something?
01:20:02
Speaker
I'm like, you're in a room with people. look but You are in fact looking at me right now. Yeah, ah yeah but she walks back there. and like they all Sorry, just to rewind, they had a good little jibes at a guy, the lead singer of the other band, when they walked up all beat up with his ah never dried bandage. It's always wet. you know but You might want to go see a doctor, by the way. Yeah. This that fight was at least 12 hours. But they, as soon as they walk up, it's like, give the number of that truck to hit you. Hey, you shouldn't hang out. We shouldn't go fighting girl scouts, buddy.
01:20:36
Speaker
oh
01:20:41
Speaker
Kick, kick, kick, indeed.
01:20:47
Speaker
um So then we cut back to the train yard. Tom is tied up. Sorry. Hall and Oates is tied up. Thank you. Notes. I was lost. He's like crucified. Yeah. i So this is a part of the movie I kind of forgot, like not the whole scene, but I was like, damn, they just strung him up like fucking sacrificial style. Yeah.
01:21:07
Speaker
Some interesting choices and weapons too as we're going through like they have these. What are these pipes? I don't fucking know. It looks like i don it's a <unk> straight up just like the pipe with like an angle PVC on it. Like that's all it is. They have like they have like the spiky one. It looks like rebar. Yeah, the spiky ones too. Yeah. Speaking of ah Jim picks the the actual PVC pipe.
01:21:32
Speaker
Like his is the worst. He's crawling through this, sneaking around i'm like you chose the world's worst weapon. You'd be better off with PCP pipes. Yes. At least you might get some super strength by licking the residue. Yeah. I don't feel nothing. Not even for my father. He punched me harder. Oh. He said PCP and all I think of is Friday. My safe word to y'all.
01:21:54
Speaker
when he's in the chicken coop. That's what I'll fuck with Hector no more. But like, so YK and ah monster Phelps are sneaking in one side and Jim and Unibrow are sneaking in the other side. they They're taking out guards, they're being sneaky.
01:22:11
Speaker
like all of a sudden these guys are actual ninjas not just dudes who learn taekwondo my dad did taekwondo classes when i was younger say 80s white guys had to do taekwondo or some kind of martial arts yeah i don't think my dad could ninja sneak Yeah, I don't think Ninja and Taekwon don't necessarily go hand in hand. Well, one's from Japan, one's from Korea. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. ah yeah just Just a guess. But yeah, they're doing some Ninja shit. My dad had some Ninja stuff, dude. He definitely snuck out. No one noticed. When did you guys finally notice? A year or two later? Oh, he's gone. Oh, no. I'm going to be devastated.
01:22:53
Speaker
My mom was gonna be so upset. ah
01:22:58
Speaker
One of these guys is fighting with the spiky stick and it just like it's either made of rubber or snaps in half when he's trying to swing it. Did you guys notice that? no i didn't see He like swings it and the whole thing just topples over but like ah like a kid with an ice cream cone. The top falls off. Because this type of spiky stick doesn't exist.
01:23:18
Speaker
They made it out of sponge sugar. It looks like it's supposed to be like rebar with like other pieces of rebar that's supposed to connect to something and they just broke it out. But I don't know. I don't know. I'm not a mechanic. and I'm not a... I've never been on Forged in Fire. Let me put it that way. I've seen in every episode. I'll tell you what, brother. How many people have to be helped by medical crews? Oh, I'd say like three or four, but you can always tell which ones they're going to be. They look a lot like Danny DeVito and Yoga Pants. Exactly. This is when YK does cut that dude's neck with
01:23:55
Speaker
a practice katana. Sure. Maybe one of the wooden ones. That's because they're using they're like, yeah, they're like the wooden katanas. I thought at first they just had the sheath still on like that. You know, you'll see people do that movies where they fight with it on and then they take it off when they get real serious. Uh huh.
01:24:09
Speaker
But Whitney pointed out, she's like, no, that's just the like practice ones. It's just a wooden stick. I wonder though if it's supposed to be a real sword for our benefit and just was shot with a dummy. They're like, we're shooting at night. You can't see it. That's fine. This will never be released in 4K. The fuck is 4K?
01:24:27
Speaker
At this point, we're at 21. Men grunting, brother. When somebody, a time traveler said something about 4K, they thought that was how much money they were going to make. That's a lot of money. Wow. Wow. Mr. This is the eighties. That's a ton of money um buy a house and and a car. Yeah, Jeff and YK face off and Jeff gets knocked off this. Causeway, whatever this metal ramp that they're fighting on and he dies and.
01:24:59
Speaker
his falling scream. He has knocked off and just like, uh, it on par with his delivery. The rest of this fucking movie, everything before this, fair enough it's leading up to this moment. And you know, that was like the head had have been recorded after, right? And so they're like, okay, scream like you just fell. And he's like, ah, they're like, no, do it again. Do it better. Ah, somebody involved in this movie knew what they were getting into right away. I'm like, that's the best we're getting ah cut print.
01:25:24
Speaker
like We're not using any more tape on this guy. Yeah, we're not getting budgets going up, but it's going up. And by the end of this fight, we're at twenty nine. So in the middle of this fight, we're at twenty one men grunting at the end of this fight. We're at twenty nine. Yeah. A lot of men grunting. Money, not man grunting. As you know, she does dojo. They come. Some guys come and tell him that his brother question Mark yeah Jeff is dead.
01:25:50
Speaker
Yeah, i'm I'm thinking like Blood Brother or like ask maybe they banged the same biker chick or Eskimo Brothers now. That's what happened off camera, that chick that was giving herself the fondlies. She was playing Hot Fingers and it translated over to a fucking game of Eiffel Tower.
01:26:06
Speaker
doing it with my bro. You haven't been there. You ain't drinking at the right bars. What a music box Saturday right there. Hey guys, I'm getting really antsy today. I've been in the house a couple days. um I want to get out. Can we go somewhere? I have some things to do. I mean, I don't know if you know this music box, ah the adult beverage place that is, they have live music almost like minimum twice a week, sometimes much more. And as a fan of somebody that likes staying on the east side, I can't think of a place that does as much live music with zero coverage.
01:26:36
Speaker
Can I get shots there? You can get shots there. You can get drinks there. You can get beers there. You can get pudding shots. You can get yellow shots. You're putting me on. I am not putting you on. This is real. Oh, they've got karaoke. They've got unhappy hour every Wednesday. You know I love karaoke. Saturday nights, they've got open mic stand up comedy. Yeah, so there's plenty going on over the music box. We can go down there to 6951 East 22nd Street in Tucson, Arizona. Oh, right there at 22nd and Cole. Yeah. Did I mention no cover? Like everything we just talked about is no cover. No cover. No cover charge ever. Just drink alcohol and enjoy your friends. It's just like my insurance. There's no cover. Music box lounge. Check it out. All right. First round's on me, boys.
01:27:24
Speaker
Um, but we get, he will not escape the Miami ninja. And then they have a whole scene where they're preparing to fight in this forest, which I'm pretty sure is also the forest that they fight in later. Well, it's like the training outside their dojo, which is dojo looks like it's somewhere in Japan. It looks like we're watching a ah fucking.
01:27:43
Speaker
Japanese movie, but then suddenly they're back in Florida. I don't know such as Florida. It's fair. You never know what you're gonna get culturally Or just what you're gonna get and just never know what you're gonna get full stop I ordered a rum and coke, but this is I think there's a
Florida's Absurdities: A Hypothetical Discussion
01:27:59
Speaker
tablet in the bottom. Should I drink this? Yeah, I ordered a pizza. There's an alligator eating my hand Not sure how we got here. I went to this guy to buy a bag of weed and I don't know what this is, but he called it crocodile. He said it's just as good. I want to go buy some weed off him. He's actually eating his face right now. He looked like he had grayscale.
01:28:23
Speaker
So Jeff finally gets a letter from the department of defense and it's my father, my father, my father. I like him now. I'm not mad anymore. And I like that why Kate just volunteers. Everyone else's money.
01:28:39
Speaker
Yeah, he's like a fucking suit that is so goddamn irresponsible. like fucking Your house is in shambles. You guys are like sharing a shower on a suit. Yeah. And all like, oh, he's going to pick up his dad from the airport in a fancy suit and that's going to fucking solve his life. That takes up for all the years of abandonment.
01:29:02
Speaker
Well, I love it because he asks Hall and Oates. He's like, how much money you got left? He's like, total? Oh, 200 bucks. And my kid's like, well, I got 50. Monster Phelps like, I got 60. And they're like, cool, we're buying a suit. That's even. Fucking Hall and Oates is sitting there going, fuck. What? I thought we were going to get like a bag of weed or something. I got to buy a new guitar. You guys broke mine when we were ninja fighting. Pay for Jane's abortion. michael Monster Phelps knocked her up.
01:29:28
Speaker
Just kidding. It's Florida. You don't have to pay. Let's hand it out with Happy Meals. so
01:29:36
Speaker
um There is a point where, like, they go get the suit, they come back, and Jane is there. And it's like, it's supposed to be an awkward moment between her and Monster Phelps because um her brother's been murdered. Yeah. And I just love it. First she goes to gym, and she's like, hey, you found your father. That's great. And he's like, yeah, I did. Here's John. You found your father?
01:29:57
Speaker
Yeah, I did find my father. John's got something to talk to you about. Bye. He sits there and holds her like he has his hand on her back the whole time while she's talking. Well, he doesn't want to run away. Yeah. Well, and he's like, he's like, well, it's all over now or no, she says it's all over now. And he goes, that's true.
01:30:20
Speaker
I'm sorry, I killed your brother. It never comes out of his mouth. No. No, and also, she's not really blaming him. I mean, he had it coming. I mean, she does start the movie with saying, I don't like my brother. He's he's like an urban Sasquatch. Not a fan. He does run around in camo all the time. And I imagine if Sasquatches wore clothes. Dude, Sasquatch is the camouflage king. Well, they're basically wearing a ghillie suit. Exactly.
01:30:47
Speaker
um I I kind of got a sarcastic ask watch. Yeah. Oh, that's not working on the movies. Oh, no. Boggy Creek to the legend continues. Don't say those words to me that normally please a shriek of the mutilated. Yeah, that's getting better. The bodily whatever.
01:31:08
Speaker
It's a sequel to a nature documentary that's a fiction film. You you you didn't buy your own bullshit anymore. No, it's true these are words true. No, that's legit. Like, that's so fucking weird. I don't like as i say i don't like having Steve here to back you up. ah Steve likes to waste money on vinegar syndrome like I do. He knows what I'm talking about.
01:31:33
Speaker
I did get some sarcasm from Hall & Oates here though. They're all driving off. So for some reason, it's only Monster Phelps, YK, Kim, and Jim can go to the airport. They can't afford the gas to put everybody else in the car or something. They just bought that suit, dude. But as they're driving away, Hall & Oates is in the back. He's like, yeah, we'll have a neon welcome sign here when you get back. Like you just took the last of my money. What do you think? That's where the rest of the money's coming from.
01:31:55
Speaker
But it sounded like he's like, I was going to buy you a neon welcome sign, motherfucker. Yeah. But you just took my two hundred dollars and bought that cheap ass suit. Yeah. Now we'll have grapes for your dad. Don't worry. We get back. Fucking why Kale shove grapes in your dad's mouth. Thank God we didn't buy apples. Hey, take it. Take it by this apple. You know, they can eat some fiber. That's how you lose a tooth.
01:32:20
Speaker
You want some of those Florida oranges? No, I'm good. Thank you. Oh, the peels on. Real Florida oranges.
01:32:30
Speaker
That's how they get drop a can of. They don't just put a straw in the orange. You just smash it. You just get YK cam to fucking shove it in. He shoves them into each bottle. You should see how he feeds them strawberries. It's not with his hands.
01:32:43
Speaker
It's with his toes. It's with his toes. Exactly. Hey, did you want some toast? Nope. Not from you. Why does he call it that? Don't ask. He's going to serve you toast with his feet. Don't worry. It's butter side up. It's always butter side up. That's how it lands. I think this is the first time. Well, maybe at the very beginning of the movie, but we actually see motorcycling ninjas. Yes. The very beginning has it too, right? after that Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Because it's a whole motorcycle gang.
01:33:11
Speaker
I you know what? I guess it's definitely not the bikers because these guys are all on like Kawasaki's and so they're on ninjas They're riding ninjas. What else? What other kind of bikes? Can we get more on the nose? I just like it's like, all right, we're ninjas. We got to sneak up. but i'm um What did you say? I said we're ninjas. We got to be. um um I think it's monster films that sees them coming. And he's like, oh, ninjas. He was surprised by the type of motorcycle.
01:33:43
Speaker
yeah oh ninja but thinking harley
01:33:49
Speaker
Huh? That's fair. That's a wild call. YK Kim literally flies out of this car like that. He's seated and he launches over. It's a convertible. He launches up out of the seat over the window and shield and onto the street. He is excite. He is so excited. And then they have this fight and pretty much immediately Jim gets sliced right down the middle.
01:34:16
Speaker
Yeah. um And I think we may have mentioned this when we did the episode before, but it's fine. How long he. Well, there's that. but I just want to mention real quick. this So it's like a diagonal slice wound across his chest. That's a pretty decent looking prosthetic. Later on, monster Phillips gets cut in the back. It's the exact same looking wound. And then and even after that, another one of the ninjas gets his face cut and it's the exact. So I'm like, did they just take it off one person? They're like, be very careful. We only have one slice wound. Easy. easy Yeah, you could 100%. How long do you think this this cry out from him was? 20 seconds? Probably at least 20 seconds. It's just, they cut away into YK and Phelps, you could hear it still going on in the background. It's just going and going. yeah And YK matches that energy when he finds him because he goes, jeez.
01:35:11
Speaker
Okay, he runs in his face like he puts his face in his face and is shaking him Jim Jim If I just got stabbed, please don't scream in my mouth. Oh, don't shake me. don't scream my mouth I Mean it's ridiculous Uh, then they drag him with his open wound and brand new suit through the swamp. who And I actually read something that a large portion of the movie's budget was spent on this scene because they had to spend a bunch of money making sure that these areas were free of alligators or crocodiles or whatever the fuck. Oh shit.
01:35:48
Speaker
even okay that was my first thought when they started dragging him in the water with the open wound yeah i'm just like you're just inviting fucking whatever but turns out you're inviting sepsis this is our yes the shark movie expert and if you put blood in water what do predators do They come for it, right? Time to party. Yeah. But yeah, I guess they spent a bunch of money trying to make sure all the alligators and stuff were out, even though this was not an area known for their activity. It would have been. yeah for I don't know how much they're into corn syrup, but it's Florida. Yeah, they were born in corn syrup. You barely adopted to it. This tastes just like that guy yesterday. Mostly corn syrup.
01:36:34
Speaker
Tastes like the first man I ever ate. And Monster Phelps goes into full-on fucking monster mode. Sith mode. Dude, screaming, he fucking stabs this dude and his face like explodes onto Phelps and he's covered in blood, rips his shirt off, there's blood on his face and blood running down his chest for the rest of this movie.
01:36:52
Speaker
It's awesome. He's got a primal scream too. He's like screaming in the stab guy's face just... ah This is the best acting both him and YK Kim put forward in this entire movie. YK Kim is a raging monster.
01:37:05
Speaker
it's it's It's tough to say. he's just when he I think it's coming up. yeah Raisin is all I can fucking see now. It's one of the California raisins with a sword. yeah It's a Florida raisin. Just what they call deer poop. ah he I think it's coming up here. He grabs the samurai sword and he puts it like just below his eyes and he's like, I look tough, right? No.
01:37:32
Speaker
No, you don't. You really, really don't look as tough as you think. Hey, this director made kind like Hong Kong action movies. He knows what tough looks like. Sure. On somebody else. Not a fucking raisin monster. Not a four foot tall man who looks like a shriveled up grape. It's some hard lines, man. That's why he's force feeding them grapes. Because once the balls turn into raisins. You can be pod people with me. Eat my children. Cool.
01:38:02
Speaker
good, let the grape flow through you. But he's just running around murdering the fuck out of a bunch of ninjas. And one of my favorite things in this entire movie happens, one of the ninjas crawls up to Yoshido, who's just meditating. And he's like, everybody's dead. And this guy pulls out his sword and cuts this guy's head clean off. And he's like, no, now everybody's dead. And he gives a great evil laugh. Yeah. Is that my voice?
01:38:34
Speaker
it goes for an evil laugh. Oh, I wasn't very intimidated. I'm glad no one's here to hear that one. So during this fight between Kim and Yoshido, I had the note that was very clearly a white stunt double. But what I read was that When they had to go back and do reshoots because Kim watched the original cut of the movie, not Escape from Miami, but like the first cut. And he was like, well, this sucks. I got to make this better. But, uh, we were saying Park had already gone back to Korea and some others that was going on. So basically Kim directed it was when he read a book about directing. So, you know, he knows what he's doing.
01:39:11
Speaker
And see you, Joe, I think, or see Joe. It's S I space Y space J.O. is the guy that played Yoshido was no longer available. He was gone.
01:39:22
Speaker
ah Not dead, but he was off going doing he had gone home or whatever. Legitimate acting like pornography. And um so they just had to basically make do so they found somebody else and had them wear it. So it's not necessarily like white stunt double. It's just here's another dude. Here's a guy that's the same approximate height and weight. yeah We're good. Wrap it up. And he knows Kiki stuff. Yeah. ah Yeah. But they they basically recreate that scene from earlier, like a Kiki situation.
01:39:52
Speaker
and ah Kim has a full like katana and this guy's got like these little throwing blades and he's using them to fight off their katana I'm like why can't you are at a disadvantage here? Yes, man is a better martial artist. than Yeah if he's if he's holding off with like a Couple of butter knives Yeah, I think it's coon coon a fucked You said it coon a you said it in one of the coon a something like that You said it on one of the Rambo episodes because he put a little AI I believe All right. Kunai? Kunai. Kunai might be it. Yeah. That was right. You know why? Because I don't know. I did not supply it, so I Kunai it.
01:40:31
Speaker
And then we have that weird like screaming freeze frame, which I believe, like I said, is the ending of the first the original movie. Yeah, I bet it is because what's coming up looks like it's just slapped together. Yeah. I mean, they they they reservoir dogs, Jim, back to the hospital. Say the words. You're going to be all right. You're going to be fine, man. Say the fucking words. yeah Say the fucking words. Give me just fine. Say it. My father. Not those words. Any other words. My father.
01:41:00
Speaker
I do like they're like, we're going to take you to the hospital. And he's like, but my father, I'm like, you your dad can wait at the fucking airport. I guarantee you, here's the airplane landing. yeah Look at that. There's some poor and fortunate African-American individuals got stabbed. but Anyway, I'm off to meet my son. Why are we riding to the hospital? That's weird. So they go to the hospital. Jim is better. His dad is there.
01:41:21
Speaker
And the guy who they got to play Jim's dad is one of the worst actors in this movie also. Well, he's standing next to YK Kim, so he's not that bad. He's doing okay. He's like, you're lucky. He couldn't find an older guy. right They just found a young guy and then powdered his hair. Like, really? That's what you went for? Well, I don't know if you know a lot about Florida, but there's not a lot of elderly people in Florida.
01:41:44
Speaker
Fair enough. No, it's all elderly people. That's God's waiting room. That's where everybody from New York goes to retire. i mean it's He should have said, I have two pieces of news. One, here's your father. Two, he's a time traveler.
01:41:59
Speaker
because he's your age. He's also younger than he was in that photo that you have. he's You know that photo you had? I don't think that was him, dude. This looks nothing like him. This guy just got, someone got the letter and they were like, just go, just go. This guy won't quit sending us letters. This is some kid whose boobs came in gray. but He's like, you're lucky you have friends that care about you and now I really care too. Like you didn't have to say now. Yeah, I didn't care about you before because, you know, I'm an asshole.
01:42:29
Speaker
And it's all over. Let's all go home. Freeze frame ending, which I love. And then this quote that comes up after we've just watched an hour and a half of mindless violence.
01:42:40
Speaker
It says only through the elimination of violence can we achieve world peace. Yeah. But you achieve anti violence with violence, duh. Well, if Rambo taught me anything, he did. and Guns don't kill people. My guns do. Oh,
01:43:01
Speaker
oh and that's the end of that movie. So we go around the horn for recommendations. I don't think I need to, but I guess Steve.
01:43:09
Speaker
Everybody and anybody. Show it to your children, show it to your grandmother on a Sunday. and Yes, 100%. I recommend this for everybody. Show it to your pets. Don't show it to my wife.
01:43:23
Speaker
I think it's going to come around. If I force her to watch it a few more times, she'll get Stockholm. It's that eighth time it's really going to click. Has she seen the alternate cut? Has she seen Escape from Miami? Maybe that'll change her mind. Steve asked the question, have you seen the alternate cut, Escape from Miami?
01:43:41
Speaker
Please pause the podcast. We'll be right back. She chuckled heartily and said no.
01:43:49
Speaker
Yeah. deck Oh yeah. I recommended this movie to you that got me on this podcast. I recommend it to people that people often ask when, when they find out we do a bad movie podcast, like, well, you know, what's a good example of what you do? And like Miami connection, you've never heard of it and you should, cause it's going to tell you exactly why we like doing this, uh, forum. Yes. And it's everything I want.
01:44:11
Speaker
yeah and obviously i recommend it i own it that doesn't mean i recommend it no but you also have the vine the soundtrack on vinyl that's kind of a pretty staunch recommendation my friend that's a hard yes yeah that might be the hardest yes i just while we were watching this last night I just feel Whitney like dying every moment of the movie. And I just had the biggest grin on my face at every word that came out of everyone's mouth. Yeah, not because she was dying, but because the movie was excellent and I don't understand what her problem is. See, she kicked the table in vengeance. Give me back my fucking job. I'm going to have these guys take your fucking money and take all my money. I don't know how I'm going to live, but I'm going to play music.
01:44:54
Speaker
Yes. Waste all your time in this movie. I don't know if you heard her folks, but she said, don't waste your time and she's wrong. That's why I wanted her on the episode. I wanted the dissenting voice, not just the three of us. Sucking this movie off. Sucking YK Kim's emotional dick. But when they we were having technical issues, her solution at least four different times was, well, I could just not talk about it. I mean, no, it was like right away. Like, how are we going to do this? Like, I could not be here. We haven't had technical issues yet. And fucking Winnie, you know what? I bet you she did this. Saboteur. I'm gonna look in the cables. It's gonna have a little cut in it. There's a little piece of fucking play-doh in there like That's how strong her presence is in the movie or in the episode Sorry, like this is just like he's in it. You can feel the presence Also, Jack, you just said there's play-doh in there. So she's stuck my cake him's face in my mixer. Yes. Yes There's something stuck in here Oh
01:45:51
Speaker
and So I mean this is kind of the anniversary is what we're kind of treat as the end of our season So the end of season 2 we do have more stuff coming next week. We will be Playing the episode that we did with Steve on his podcast bucket of chum back in May I believe it was right a shark exorcist. Oh god. Yeah. Yeah, that'll be our our episode for next week. Give me father I offend
01:46:17
Speaker
And we do have a Patreon episode this month for all of you patrons. Go to patreon dot.com slash worst people. It's only $3 a month. Get extra content every month. This month's episode is going to be the Christmas classic, violent night.
01:46:31
Speaker
I always have to pay attention because I'm not always sure what we're doing. I know you've already said it, but I'm like, Ooh, what's he going to say? while at night I love that movie. That's the one where the guy from Stranger Things is a Viking Santa Claus yeah and murders John Leguizamo and a bunch of his friends. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good time. look Yeah. It's a great time. So Steve, do you have, or way you do have, you have something you can talk about your podcast.
01:46:57
Speaker
Yeah, so I got Bucket of Chum. When's this coming out? of December? Yeah, December. Yeah, so I've got a couple of Patreon episodes coming out. um Creature from the Black Lagoon will be coming out in October, maybe the beginning of November, because I'm moving. um In November, Humanoids from the Deep who will be the episode for that. yeah I love that. We got Derek audibly excited. And then December for this month, it will be Piranha 2, The Spawning. oo James Cameron's directorial debut.
01:47:30
Speaker
Weird. Oh, he didn't really do any directing. Well, he also took his name off of it Yeah, so he doesn't really consider it. But yeah, it's a good time So yeah, you and you can find me on all the social medias at bucket of chum podcast. That's Instagram Facebook tick-tock and a slasher and Yeah, patreon dot.com forward slash bucket of chum and YouTube channel um at bucket of chum podcast Well, thank you for joining us and talking about this cinematic masterpiece. Well said. Absolutely. That's going to be it for this week. I've been Derek. I'm Jack. I'm Captain Steve. And Taiwan, Taiwan.
01:48:11
Speaker
and type quad say ah ta horn who sounds like you're a british guy take one take one take one joe I want to do a song lyric and that was my favorite one. do same song ah Yeah, but mine's a better lyric.
01:48:26
Speaker
right
01:48:36
Speaker
All right.
01:48:57
Speaker
because they were talking about the Millennium Falcon. What Falcon is it named after? It's like you're misunderstanding. This is happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. The translation from basic to English doesn't exist. So Millennium Falcon is really just like some bird of prey that they have that we don't know. So that's why the English words are in there. It's for us. It's chronicled in English. And that's why I don't have a girlfriend.