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Ep 110: Halloween: Resurrection
64 Plays1 month ago
Jamie Lee Curtis makes a short appearance in the film she describes as "a joke", but the meat of this turd sandwich takes place back in Haddonfield where a live internet reality show called Dangertainment hosted by Busta Rhymes is being filmed in Michael’s old home. This stupid throwback to the early 2000s is widely considered the worst entry in the Halloween franchise and, in fact, was so bad that the planned sequel was canceled and the next Halloween film ended up being Rob Zombie's 2007 reboot.
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Transcript
Introduction and Halloween Horror Fest Opening
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to the last week, the final week of Halloween Horror Fest. It's a final countdown. I thought I didn't say the final week of this podcast. I thought Derek was fucking done. And this week, put your knives where my eyes can see. I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. I'm Jack. This is Bad Movies. Worst People. Motherfucker. Happy Halloween, motherfucker.
Expectations and Disappointments of Bad Movies
00:00:46
Speaker
So there's bad movies this week. Bad movies, worse people. Yeah. Bad. Well, maybe and we're not worse. Bad, bad, bad. ah No, I don't think we're worse than this. I don't know. I expected this to be worse than it was. It wasn't good. And you are correct that this should have been watched with people. Because this is one that I was like, hey, I could probably watch this beforehand. And he's like, ah you're going to want to watch these two with us. And definitely correct on this. He just wants you in our house. I get it.
Personal Anecdotes and Favorite Halloween Movies
00:01:14
Speaker
ah When does this air? The last week of October. So my birthday's on Saturday. I'm making it all about me. That's why we watch this movie. It's her favorite Halloween. I mean, it does have Busta. You know, I love me sometimes. Do you still though, like like after watching this? um I mean, yeah. Yeah. I still love him after I watched him bomb at the concert.
00:01:37
Speaker
Oh, OK. Yeah, we saw him with Wu Tang and he just wasn't there. Yeah, he was physically. He's older now. He smokes a lot of that weed.
Discussion on Halloween Resurrection and Franchise
00:01:45
Speaker
But the movie we're talking about is 2002's Halloween Resurrection. Heavy erection. Directed by Rick Rosenthal, who sounds like a guy that produces New Battle bands. I'm thinking of Rick Rubin, though. Yeah, you might be. What was that guy from um MTV, Matt Rosenbud? Hidden Field.
00:02:05
Speaker
Pinfield, yeah. Rosenbud. Geez Louise. I met that Pinfield. I bet you did. At a concert in Tucson. Was it a metal concert? It was a hardcore show. Yeah. Rosenbud was playing. Oh. Gattrott was playing. Oh, that's a name I know. Gattrott and Fate.
00:02:22
Speaker
OK, pH eight. Yes, I love fate. He was here to see fate to potentially sign them. Spoiler alert. um No, I actually I actually know what happened with that. OK. Their snuff actually said no. Snuff was their manager. And then they were very successful. Amanda was dating. He said they didn't want to be big. Now they like they like playing the rock big. Right. They like playing the rock every other month. Yeah.
00:02:48
Speaker
ah But yes, this is directed by Rick Rosenthal who also directed Halloween 2. Oh, so he's one of the only directors of The original Halloween's to do more than one as he robbed zombie did two of them forgive me if I don't clap hands I wouldn't yeah I expected more from a zombie. I don't care much about this franchise. You'll find out. One, two, and three are good. I don't think I ever saw four and five because I didn't care. This isn't good. The one that came before this isn't good. I'm usually a pretty good jump scare person. Yeah.
00:03:21
Speaker
You and I were just cracking jokes all the fucking time. Well, formulaic, it's just so fucking blueprint. Well, this is also a post-scream Halloween. So they're trying to like, they're giving you the talky talk and, you know, like the what's it like, the snappy banter type of thing. Well, they're trying. They're not giving it to you. They're not successful. They're trying to give it to you.
00:03:40
Speaker
But this guy also directed a movie we might talk about one day, but he took his name off of it called The Birds 2 Lands End. Oh, came out 30 years after The Birds. So you know, it's good. Well, yeah. Yeah. hes He that one, if you look up the credits, it's credited to Alan Smithy, which is the nom de plume of any director who wants to take their name off a movie. Oh, wow. So is that who directed that? ah Not Tim Burton, Planet of the Apes. Is that an Alan Smithy film? It might be. Tim Burton's like, I didn't do that. We're like, dude, we know you did it. yeah Helena Bonham Carter's in it. You're going to sit here and tell me you didn't fucking make that. Was Johnny Depp a monkey in that? I don't think so. but Only because he was busy doing something else. Uncredited. Uncredited monkey. This guy also directed seven episodes of your favorite, Smallville.
00:04:30
Speaker
Oh. And a couple of episodes of Buffy. But that makes sense. Buffer. Buffer. Yeah, once you go no once you know that system, you're good to go. Yeah. Go ahead and just make me mediocre shows the rest of your life. Fine. ah So for the people who want to watch this before we talk about it.
Where to Watch Halloween Resurrection
00:04:44
Speaker
Don't. I'm just kidding.
00:04:46
Speaker
It is available currently on Paramount Plus and AMC Plus, and you can rent it on Apple or Amazon for $4, but buy it for $10. Don't. I would recommend just getting like a Paramount Plus or AMC Plus subscription. Yeah. Because at least then you can watch something else for your money. Yeah. At least just for the one month. Get you a little free trial. Yeah. Get your free trial. Get your free trial on. Get your free trial. Get your free trial. Yeah, this isn't worth $4. No. I'm glad I didn't see this in theaters.
00:05:15
Speaker
That would have been disappointing to say the least. But you never know, sometimes you can be in that theater where everyone's like, oh this sucks and we're just gonna laugh and crack jokes. You know there's somebody in there that's like, oh my god! It's rare, but you can get a fun theater every now and then. I saw Jeepers Creepers where everyone was just like, I mean, audibly like, what the fuck? I mean, it was just, it was good. I saw that in theaters. It was a fun time to a pretty bad movie.
00:05:39
Speaker
i remember liking it though you're allowed to i mean you're on a bad movie podcast that this guy's married that's what we always say and on this show i mean i've said it before i don't always say it just because we're saying it's a bad movie doesn't mean you can't like the movie yeah that's true talking to a big defender of waterorld here if you go back go back to the team Go back to the tape. We've probably recommended a solid 70 percent of these movies. Oh, yeah. Well, OK, Jack and I have. You probably recommended 50 percent. I'm starting to get worried that I'm just I don't know if it's like Stockholm syndrome or just beaten down where I'm like, it's a passable, serviceable movie. I
Nostalgia and Recommendations
00:06:15
Speaker
recommend it. Old me even like, fuck this, dude. I don't know. Don't watch this. No, you've been pretty adamant on certain things. Like, I honestly thought that you would have recommended the last movie we did.
00:06:25
Speaker
What was the last kingdom of the or no ah Empire of the ants you thought I would have recommended that fucking noise garbage Not one woman got shaken in that movie you saying that noise garbage just made sense why I soft-recommended it I also used to listen to melt banana What? Yeah, said Tokyo noise punk thrash. Oh boy noise band noise band noise garbage you've heard of boys bands there's a noise band but so this was also written by two guys Larry Brand and Sean Hood Larry Brand didn't have any credits that I recognized or cared about and Sean Hood had one cube two hypercube
00:07:08
Speaker
I don't think I saw the first cube. There is no first cube. The first cube is pretty good. The second one's actually not that bad. Is it a sci-fi thing? Yeah. It's a Hellraiser movie. Kind of. I was like, is it? I mean, it's not Hellraiser, but... Who's in it? Lawrence Fishburne? No. That's... Event Horizon. I think of another one that he's in, though. Anyway... I don't think he was in it. I don't know. You would know. I saw that movie in the 2000s, the early 2000s. This is still the 2000s. I could be like Bleep on the other podcast. Do you know about Witch? Oh, the one spelled with two V's? Never heard of it.
00:07:38
Speaker
Intimate knowledge of the name, sir. But this movie was nominated for an award. I think it actually won an award that year. Is it Razzie? The Fangoria Chainsaw Award for Worst Film.
00:07:51
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, good. OK. Good. And JB Lee Curtis. So this is a sequel to Halloween Resurrection, like a direct sequel to that. No, this is Halloween Resurrection. Halloween H2O. Gotcha. 20 years later. Sorry. So which ones is she in real quick? She's in the first one, obviously. She's been in a Halloween movie.
00:08:11
Speaker
in six different decades. Wow. He's in the 70s Halloween, Halloween two and then electrical Halloween age. So that's the 70s and 80s. Then Halloween age to Halloween resurrection. And then she was in the three new new new Halloween movies, not the Rob Zombie ones, but she's first news directed by David Gordon Green and the other two. were And I don't know. Yeah, because she's like he's your.
00:08:34
Speaker
Uncle or some shit like so that's the 70s the 80s the 90s 2000s 2010s and 2020 her daughter is like a college student or some shit. I don't know. She's got white hair. It's her activities. She's dead. She didn't. Well, those are didn't shit herself. I've said it a thousand times.
00:08:52
Speaker
This movie is a direct continuation of the last one. Like I said, there's supposed to be another one after this, but this performed so poorly that they just shelved that. And that's when we got Rob Zombie's two Halloween movies. How are them? I didn't watch them. Couldn't be bothered. Just I didn't care. OK, like I like a couple of Rob Zombie's movies, but House of a Thousand Corpses, House of a Thousand Corpses. I like Hills Have Eyes. That's not him. No, Devil's Reject. I never saw whatever the third one's called. Hell Makes Three or some shit. Oh, I didn't know there was a third one. I stopped after the Devil's Reject. I did hear that something Salem that he directed was really good, but I never watched it. What about that Munster show?
00:09:35
Speaker
too You can keep that ah wait Because you didn't like the original one you just don't give a shit didn't care about the original and I i just and also again I just don't care about Rob zombies movies anymore. Yeah, I heard that a lot of Michael Myers fans were not fans of his movies Okay, he just did his Rob zombie thing and turned him into like hillbilly murder movies did uh ah zombie ever tackle a Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Am I making that up? I don't think he did. OK, I think he should have instead of Michael. He would just fine I mean House of 1000 Corpses is a Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. It's just the same. Yeah, same, same. And his wife with the noxious. ah But ah but as I was saying Jamie Lee Curtis, Jamie Lee Curtis appears in this movie because she's contractually obligated. She didn't want to.
00:10:27
Speaker
It shows. I don't know. I thought she did OK. She's she's there. At first, she said no. And the executive producers, Malik Akkad and Mustafa Akkad, claimed that once she read the screenplay, she was so impressed that she decided to be in it. Or her agent said, we're not going to get sued. Be in this movie for 30 seconds. Well, yep her direct quote is this is a joke.
00:10:52
Speaker
ah John Carpenter says this is the only Halloween movie that's made him cringe.
Impact of Halloween Resurrection's Release Timing
00:10:56
Speaker
Oh. I wonder which part. And his penis just crawled right back up in there. They tried to do a clue type of thing with this movie. They tried to fill multiple endings. They did fill multiple endings. And the director wanted them to put different ones in different theaters. And the studio was like, no, no clue did it. And it was that worked. Yeah. Yeah, you don't need to do it again. It made sense for clue to do that.
00:11:21
Speaker
Yeah. So if you get the DVD and Blu-ray, you can see all those alternate endings. Can I? I didn't look up what they were because I didn't care. Because I watched a theme with you. I don't care. I don't care. I mean, this movie didn't fail. I quit. I quit. This movie didn't fail fail, but didn't do well. Okay. Cost $13 million dollars to make and it made $37.6 million worldwide. Maybe because you released it in July.
00:11:48
Speaker
you know, the peak of spooky season, you know, Halloween in July. I mean, you know, all the other movies released in July stores have Halloween shit out in July. ah You've got ah Christmas vacation. Yeah, ah that's in July. That's a good one. I can't think of another. fuck ah God damn leprechaun. That's in July. I'm sure a bunch of. Well, it's like the Friday. The last Friday, the 13th we talked about was released in March. It wasn't. It wasn't. Should not be. If if you're going to release it in March, make it Friday, the 13th. Yeah. Because guess what? If you're going to release it in a month where you dump movies, no one cares about October's right there. Yep.
00:12:25
Speaker
At least it makes sense because like, all right, it's it's October. I'm going to get my best gal and we're going to go see a fucking talkie. Yeah. You know, if I go to the drive in, Whitney's told me all about the penis play that happens during scary movies. This we would have been a nightmare to watch at the drive in. Oh, my God. With all this grainy low res footage and how everything is just dark and almost impossible to see.
00:12:47
Speaker
Every time that pops up, my eyes just gloss over and I'm like, I couldn't care to like, I'm not going to have them focus on this. No. Well, so let's just tell the people who didn't watch it because they're smart what not saying the ones that did watch it are dumb, but
Plot Introduction and Busta Rhymes' Character
00:13:01
Speaker
we are. The other ones are smart. We are dumb. um What this is about so that Bust arrives.
00:13:08
Speaker
has a company called Dangertainment. ah that like That sounds like a placeholder. And then they just printed the scripts and the guy was like, oh, fuck. and Oh, we forgot to replace Dangertainment. Huh. Well, that's the name now. I would have called it Edgertainment.
00:13:24
Speaker
That's a different kind of Internet entertainment. Oh, sorry. That exists already. Entertainment.com. It didn't back then. People were edging. Sting was edging back then. Yeah, Sting loves to edge. That's all I know about him. so that and He was in Dune, the 1984 one, and something about hookers. ah You don't have to turn on the red light or whatever. Yeah, Roxanne. Yeah, there you go. Got it. Also, the Stalker's anthem.
00:13:49
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, that's right. Everywhere you go, I'm watching you. Whoa, dude, calm down. Yeah. Going to the bathroom, I'm watching you. Every step you take. I don't. and Is that a stalker song? Or is Sting admitting to the world that he's Santa Claus and we didn't know? He ain't fat enough for Santa Claus. He gets fat once a year. And seeing that bushy beard.
00:14:08
Speaker
It magically. we only Yeah, he grows the beard on Christmas Eve. I guarantee you somewhere on the Internet, it's fucking staying farting around on a Christmas special. You'd see it anytime you want. You just don't want to see it. It's a Hallmark movie.
00:14:20
Speaker
ah Santa Claus. You don't have to put on that red suit. Santa Claus. But Busta Rhymes has Dangertainment and their plan is to do a live streaming Internet reality show. Early episode of Ghost Hunters or insert bullshit TV show here they here. We looked it up. Ghost Hunters started in 2004. Yeah. So they stole this from Busta Rhymes. yeah do All we got to do is get grainy footage, kind of like like wishy washy audio and just have people like Hello, but and no one's here to hurt you. This is safe place. You think they were saving the like having people really die for the second season, but then the first season made them so much money. They're like, we could do this for the next 40 years. Yeah. It turns out we don't need to kill somebody off. These idiots love our shows. I was walking down that hallway and it got cold. Must mean there's a ghost or I'm in a drafty old abandoned mansion.
00:15:14
Speaker
Yeah, could be your in my house, which has so spotty air conditioning. one I mean, it's cold. No one's not. Yeah, same with ours. Yeah, maybe we have ghosts. Well, yeah, they're they're having this Internet streaming show and our cast of stars kind of are going to be on it. Stars is a stars, including Katie Sackhoff, biggest star, rookie of the year guy. So you don't even know his name. I got it in here somewhere. We don't care. It's rookie of the year. And the dude from he was in the luck of the Irish. He was a Disney star. He's the one that plays Deckard.
00:15:44
Speaker
oh Oh, but we're talking with on the, on the, uh, danger. ta danger do Yeah. And then there's also, uh, Sean, Sean Patrick Thomas whose name I'll never forget because it's the most Irish name that a black man has ever had. Sean Patrick Thomas i better. I believe it grew up right here in the Bronx.
00:16:01
Speaker
You would know him from Save the Last Dance. Look up this gentleman. v or Look up this gentleman because he had quite the glow up. Like talk about a silver salt and pepper fox. He doesn't look bad here. He's just kind of a chubbier black dude. Not chubby, but he's just he's he's got the baby face. Exactly. He's got a little baby fat in the face. But now he's just he's got that salt and pepper. Salt and pepper beard. Looking looking good. How you doing? Yeah, I mean, go watch Gen V. He's on that and he's looking good and he's also terrifying.
00:16:30
Speaker
He's not really a bad guy, but who on that show is a good guy? The good guys don't live. So the movie starts with Laurie Strode.
Laurie Strode's Situation and Michael Myers
00:16:40
Speaker
She's in the Grace Anderson Sanitarium, which I should have googled because it might be somebody, but I didn't. Like it feels referencing. Grace Anderson you're saying? Yeah. Isn't that from a callback from the first one? That's the hospital that he escapes from? No, because she's in California at the beginning of this, because H20 took place in California. Josh Hartnett was her son, and Michael Myers came to kill him. Do you hear how he said his name, Josh Hartnett? Hartnett? You didn't say Hartnett, you said Hartnett. Hartnett. You put a weird influx on it. I put the wrong and fastest on the wrong syllable. It's fine. What was it? Grace Anderson? Yeah. But she's of the Grace Anderson sanitarium. It's Jamie Lee Curtis, of course. And she's got a rag doll. There's like this stupid.
00:17:44
Speaker
My quick little research, there's no grace Anderson. po just um It felt referenced. Yeah, you're right. But she's in there because in H2O at the end of it, she thought she killed Michael Myers, but he had really just put his mask on some paramedic and switched jumpsuits. Did you see this at the end of that movie? Or was this film for this movie? I mean, you saw her cut his head off. I don't remember if they showed that it wasn't really him. I feel like they did. Okay. and I saw it once. I didn't see him.
00:18:11
Speaker
That's what that's why I'm asking, like, because this could easily just be filmed for us for right now for the idiots like me and Whitney did. Like, I don't know what happened. I think it was. And i like I said, somebody can correct me. um Our YouTube listener, Freddie Mercury, can correct me. yasy But I think it ended with you finding out because that's the end of the movie. Like, oh, he's not really dead. Shocker thing like they always do. So I but I'm not 100 percent on that.
00:18:37
Speaker
But she's in there because she decapitated him. He was a father of three. And that's sad. And they keep finding her on the roof, but they don't know why. And they think she's suicidal, not comatose, but catatonic, catatonic. Yeah, it's a ah major disassociation disease or something. yeah You're basically lost in your own brain.
00:18:55
Speaker
Been there. it It's called an existential Sunday. It's called way too high. It's called how much was in that brownie? ah Did you say a hundred milligram or a thousand milligram? Oh boy. Oh boy. You ate the whole brownie? I ate the whole brownie. When all I needed was the edge. Entertainment.
00:19:15
Speaker
We say way too much weed. And there's this guy running around this asylum, apparently free is all can as can be. He's harmless. I'm named Harold. Izzy likes to dress up like serial killers. And quote everything about them. Yeah, and kind of scare the staff. And they're just like, that's silly. And I'm like, is it?
00:19:33
Speaker
Yeah, he's just being a goofball dressing up like William H. Casey. Sneaking out and leaving doors open. I'm like, well, you're going to have to mix them up because you're not saying it right. It's John Wayne. John Wayne Macy. But now I'm just seeing William H. Macy at a clown mask murdering children. William H. Gacy is the new terrifying thing we didn't know we needed.
00:19:56
Speaker
William H. Macy is the actor and then as I'm like Fargo. Yeah, yeah. ago And then John Wayne Gacy is the oh, I killed those kids and put them under my house. Don't you know? Yeah. Don't you know Bobby? Don't you know it didn't near know. I do want to mention just because somebody murders with that accent. Katie Sackhoff is in this movie, as I mentioned. Oh, yeah. Is Katie Sackhoff in this movie?
00:20:19
Speaker
She is a. It's easy. There's a reason I'm re-mentioning it. She's from she's from a lot of stuff, but her big thing before recently was Battlestar Galactica. The nurse that's at the beginning of this movie that's talking about Laurie Strode's history and all this stuff ah played by a woman named Lorena Gale, who's a character actor, but who is also featured in multiple episodes of Battlestar Galactica. Nice.
00:20:43
Speaker
And I'd be remiss as a nerd myself. She's Bo-Katan Kreeze in the ah Star Wars universe. Yes, yes, she is. i just I can't let you have your nerd moment without me. She's also Bo-Katan Kreeze when I have wet dreams. Hey, take it crazy. She's not Starbuck Kreeze. She also heard voices Bo-Katan Kreeze in the Clone Wars.
00:21:04
Speaker
Although after watching this movie, she might just be. Sarah or Jen, whoever the fuck her generic white girl. Yeah, I think it was Sarah. Sarah sounds right. because She looks good in this. She looks great. I mean, she's younger, but she's got she's got hair. I like it. Yeah, I wasn't focused on the hair.
00:21:19
Speaker
they know their They know their angles, dude. This is that Michael Bay shot. like just Just have her walk up the stairs and we're going to follow real tight with the camera. Oh, it was right on that butt. Yeah, it was. Thank you. um but so they One of the security guards finds Harold and takes him back to his room, and another one's like, dude, I thought you put Harold in his room. There he is in the basement. There's a guy in a mask. There's a guy that looks nothing like the guy that you just put in his room. There's a seven foot tall seven foot tall Svelte man in the basement. It must be five foot three hundred pound Harold. Yep. He was wearing a clown mask. Now it's a fucking painted William Shatner mask. They're the same guy, obviously. who William Shatner is kind of a clown sometimes. What do you mean by that? But they go down to look for him. ah The fat security guard has to stop for a snack. Yeah. How else do we know he's fat?
00:22:11
Speaker
ah Didn't get dinner, and then he buys like a honey roll I'm like yeah something with powdered sugar and or cinnamon or some fucking sweet feeling you know there's kind of real food in there Not really, but there's at least cracker Jack. Yeah, I Don't think cracker Jack's much better than i'm Thinking about it. There was cooler range Doritos. Oh god. There was flavor punch lays or ruffles or something I don't know what the fuck what it is Yeah, I don't know. Is that their version of the Doritos Extreme? Probably. Extreme. That's what they were doing at the time. Yeah. If you pause it and look in there, you can see everything that was being sold in stores that week. It's a fucking, oh, it's not a walking billboard. It's a walking billboard.
00:22:52
Speaker
By the way, I just watched that, not for the first time, that Fatboy Slim video that Christopher Walken did. Oh, yeah. And one of the comments on YouTube was like you had like all the times tagged and it was like Christopher Walken, Christopher Standing, Christopher Jumping, Christopher Flying. That's pretty good, Christopher Flippin. Oh, that wasn't Christopher Flippin. I know. But the rest is him. He's a phenomenal dancer. He probably could do the flip back in the day. And hed and he that he'd made all that up. He did his own choreography.
00:23:20
Speaker
Anyway, even more impressive. But yeah, so they go. That guy stops for a snack. He hears his friends scream, goes looking for him and finds his head in a dryer, which is a classic move. Yeah. And then it strips over a body that was not there 30 seconds ago. Or that he just didn't notice. He was too busy looking at the dryer head. I mean, I'm a little disappointed we didn't see a head spinning in the dryer. Yeah. ah And they kind up but they kind of went slow mo like, all right, well, here it comes.
00:23:48
Speaker
um why um Nope. that Keep that noise on cue for the rest of this movie. You got it. Although I will say the one thing I was happy about was most of these people are killed mostly on screen. Yes. And the one we didn't get on screen is really, really annoying.
00:24:05
Speaker
Yeah, like the character or the death? The both because I wanted to see her die. Yeah, terribly. But then he he kills that guy and he goes and busts into Laurie's room, walking through the wall like my like ah like Michael Myers, like Jason, much like yourself.
00:24:22
Speaker
Just bursting through your wall like Mike Myers. Oh, yeah. yeah Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I gotta do some stupid. oh Yeah, look at that. I'm through your door right now like Haggis. I know it doesn't make sense, but I want you to know I'm Scottish. So I said Haggis. I'm Mike Myers. I'm the Kool-Aid bastard. I'm the Kool-Aid man. I'm coming for your doors.
00:24:48
Speaker
But he chases her up to the rooftop. She's got a trap set for him, which is why she's been on the rooftop every day. Just because she knew he was going to come back. So every time that you found her up on this rooftop, you didn't like what's that Rube Goldberg device you're building? Well, he's like a giant game of mousetrap you're playing. There's like a crane on the roof. Uh-huh. That's just apparently just stays there. Yeah, it's like a weather vane and she has a crane on it, though, like it. I don't know. It had a pulley system.
00:25:14
Speaker
She put it there. I don't fucking know it. Then this is the worst Institute I've ever seen is But she lasso's his leg and hangs him over the side of the building and she's about to drop him But he starts pretending he's a scared. Uh-huh. She's like, uh-oh Don't need another cut that guy's head off situation here before goes to check his mask He pulls her off the roof and drops her stabs her and drops her two is to his through her death She gives him a nice kiss in the man let us see you where yeah Eventually, like 14 movies from now. That was one of her things where she was like, fine, I'll appear in your movie, but i I need to be dead. Yeah. Yeah. Guess what? She doesn't look unhappy to be dead. Yeah. But she didn't shit herself. She's not dead. And that's what I always say. If you don't see them shit themselves, they ain't dead. You said it a lot of times while we were watching this. Yeah. But on his way out, he gives a nice smell vision. And Harold is like,
00:26:06
Speaker
Oh, Michael Myers born 1950. And he goes even more in detail. He does with other killers. He's like killed this many people this day and then three people this day. And then people thought he was dead. But then he came back and he killed four more people. And now he's which I'm like, you're giving me the kill count from the movies and I'm not impressed.
00:26:21
Speaker
I wasn't either, considering he had said, was it Gacy or Ed Gein? Gacy's like, Gacy's like killed 33 people and put them under their floorboard. I'm like, well, that's a good amount. And so this clarifies to and this is what I thought the H2O.
00:26:37
Speaker
was basically like we had one two and now we're doing this. It's like forget three, which really has nothing to do with Michael Myers. So that's fine. And then forget four and five. So the idea was when John Carpenter started the Halloween series, at least this is what I've read. I don't know. It might be a George Lucas situation where he's changing his mind later. I've got a diary, bitch. Well, the idea was like you have this movie about Michael Myers or or The Shape or whatever, because I don't know if he gets a name in that first movie. Yeah. Remember, but.
00:27:04
Speaker
You have that movie. It's a story. It's a horror story on Halloween. OK. And then the next one is going to be another story on Halloween like a anthology type of situation. OK. But Michael Myers was so popular that they brought him back to do Halloween to my John Carpenter was not involved with that. And then so they tried to move forward with this. We're doing other stuff idea with Halloween three, which is called Season of the Witch. ah Which with two Vs, I assume. No, no, no, just a W this time. It's not about Michael Myers at all. It takes place in Northern California. There's this guy making Halloween masks that can control children to make them kill their parents, I think. Oh, dope. It's an awesome movie. Killing parents is tight. Don't worry, you'll see it soon. Spoiler alert for the future. I wasn't worried. Now I actually am.
00:27:56
Speaker
He's such a disciplined daddy. Don't you? Over here fucking into S&M fucking movie bondage. It features a very drunk for the whole movie, Tom Atkins. Tom Atkins. The guy who made the Atkins diet? No, not the guy who did the Atkins diet. OK, well, maybe it doesn't mean anything to you. He's at Night of the Creeps, Maniac Cop, the fog, ah the original fog or the one with the original ah drive angry, some other stuff. But he's he's awesome. And i mean he's playing a drunk. He's awesomer. But ah
00:28:31
Speaker
how i know that Uh, technically H2O is number six. Okay. That's why they didn't. Sorry to go off track. I just, I have no idea about this lore world or yeah i don't i i'm fuzzy. Like I said, I've seen the first three for sure. And as we were watching this, I was like, Oh, I've definitely seen this movie before.
00:29:04
Speaker
But I don't remember it. I felt like I'd seen it. How fucking easy it was to call shit. I mean, it's like it's just the most the most common thought you could have about how to kill somebody in that moment is what's going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they make it super obvious, too. Yeah. Like, oh, there's something poking out right here. Oh, I bet you when they pull that attic little fucking ladder down that someone's going to fall out of it. Yeah. Oh, they were on the ladder. I was close. But still fell down. No, they stayed right there. I mean, like fell. Yeah.
00:29:34
Speaker
That's like a bobsled. You've seen Swiss Army Friend. Yes. No, I have not. Swiss Army Man. Same. Well, they yeah are they not friends? Well, I guess they are. We're splitting hairs here, dude. You can be friends with dead people. Ask fucking Haley Jo Osman. Ask ICP. Ask ICP. why way there I don't get that reference. it's such a I was just on board with her being on board with me. Oh, because you think you're fresher than her? I mean, just because she's dead and she doesn't really move around a lot.
00:30:01
Speaker
about fucking but Wow, yeah, you're right. You're right soon as you said you think you're fresher than her it just came flooding back Hey, no judgment, dude, I'm not gonna have to have the Smash Mouth album I had that too for sure man. Yo, I am in the mood for like a really juicy IPA and I don't see any in the fridge and Yeah, I think I'm all out, but I do know a place we can go get some more. Let's go to the Arizona Beer House. Arizona Beer House. They have 34 taps. It's like almost 800 cans and bottles that you can drink in-house or take to go. And it's conveniently located at Broadway and Cove, 150 South Cove in Tucson, Arizona. I'll tell you what, I'd tap that. Let's head down to Arizona Beer House right now. Let's go. I'll drive. First pint's on me, guys. All right.
00:30:50
Speaker
But so then we go to Haddonfield, Illinois. Haddonfield University. Because these are all college kids. That way you can see their boobs. Yeah, you're allowed to. They're college. We only get one set of boobs. Yeah. Yep. Oh, shame. You get a teaser. We get one set of boobs. We get a cleavage shot of Katie Sackhoff. You see her girlfriend's boobs in a bra. Lazy little number. Lazy bra. Lazy nips.
00:31:16
Speaker
It's more like see through satiny. It's burnt into my and my brain. The image is in my brain. It's black lace. Yeah, it's not lace. So we have share Sarah. Sarah Moyer, who's being played by Bianca Kajlick.
00:31:31
Speaker
You did better than I would have with that name. I and i know for a fact she was in a show called i I want to say it was Rules of Engagement as Patrick Warburton. It has the person you fucking hate, David Spade. And she's in because it's like the married couple, the engaged couple. Oh my fucking dad loved this show. um And she was engaged to Hudson. who Which one? Kate Hudson's brother. What? Is he handsome? Yeah.
00:31:56
Speaker
Goldie Hawn's song? Yeah. Jiminy Hudson. Jiminy Hudson. I'm making that up. No. Obviously. Stop Hudson's song, dude. She might have been in that. She was in that Winchester show that you watched there. that I watched Supernatural. I did not watch Winchester. I watched you watch it. All right, Sting, calm down. Every show you watch. It's like a prequel to Supernatural. She played someone named Millie. I don't know who the fuck that is, because I didn't watch Supernatural either. And she's all of them bring it on. She's in Bring It On? Yeah.
00:32:24
Speaker
So we might see her again. Did you want me to care about that one? No. I just know recently someone was in Bring It On and Whitney was very excited about it. Isn't this black dude in there as well? No, he wasn't saved the last day. Oh, I'm getting my bullshit confused. Getting my stupid ass early 2000s dancing movies. It's already been brought in. Sorry. So we have Sarah? No, but Gabrielle Union is in the first one.
00:32:46
Speaker
So we have Sarah, we have Jen, who's played by Katie Sackhoff, as we said, Battlestar Galactica, Mandalorian. She was on a really good show on Netflix, at least the first season. I never watched the second and called Another Life. It's another sci-fi show. ah she's So she's got a type. Yeah. She's married to that guy from Shameless that was like the shitty boyfriend in the first season. Steve. Two names. Jimmy. Jimmy jimmy Scott John. Jimmy Steve. Jimmy Steve. Yeah. and She's married to that guy and she goes to space and there's some alien stuff. I don't know. I remember it being really good.
00:33:16
Speaker
And we also have Rudy who's played by Sean Patrick Thomas who is not an Irishman As far as you know as far as I can tell can't be named out. I've been a little Irish Here's what you do You put a fucking raw potato right in front of him and you turn your back for a second if it's all eaten up He's Irish if it's not eaten up. He might still be Irish. He's not hungry We will probably see this guy again because he was also in Dracula 2000. Here's what you do. You open his mouth and you smell his breath. Does it smell like whiskey? He's Irish. No, it just smells like potatoes, sir. Can you make whiskey from potatoes? Probably. if you If you could, I think we would have figured it out by now. No, you can make vodka. vod well We don't say that word. That's why I was always confused that the Irish have whiskey all the time. Wouldn't they have invented vodka?
00:34:00
Speaker
You eat a potato. You don't drink a potato, sir. You eat a fucking but potato. What about a fermented banana? Why could you have a fermented banana? But that's too fruity. We're Irish, we don't put phallic things in our mouth. Oh, katoo. We don't even know what oxtua means. It's an island named Oxtua. Star Wars. Look at that, he brought it back.
00:34:22
Speaker
So there is some dude, they're all hanging out in their dorm talking about this show that they're going to be on and some random dude comes in and he's talking about like, don't go there. It's the house where he was raised. But as he's talking, he just grabs like these very sexy underwear that are drying on some sort of apparatus yeah and just, but you don't do that to somebody whether you know him or not. yeah But he's like, yeah, don't go in there.
00:34:44
Speaker
yeah Don't go in there. I was waiting for a sniff because he's just rubbing on their panties. As he's doing that, you hit your vape thingy. And I was just like, is am I hearing the dude sniff? So he's sniffing from afar. One of two things, he was fighting it so hard. Like, don't fucking sniff them. Don't sniff them. Or the panties were just supposed to be a prop. And this actor walked in and was like, I'm going to pretend these were on Katie Sackoff. I'm going full like method here. And I'm just going to sniff Katie Saggot's pants. Do you know what his name was? I'm not creepy. I'm method. His his character's name? Pantysniffer. A-R-O-N. Aron. Aron. Isn't that a Pokemon?
00:35:25
Speaker
I'm pretty sure there's a Pokemon named Aaron. All right. I'm out of my depth on that one. Yeah. a Back to panty sniffing. Yeah. So meanwhile, we have Miles Barton played by Ryan Merryman in another room. And Ryan Merryman was in Final Destination 3. So good for him. That's the one that's the luck of the Irish.
00:35:45
Speaker
Yeah, he's her internet boyfriend, and he was also in The Pretender, which came up on some other episode recently. He plays the young version of the main guy. Oh, okay. Which, as soon as I saw that and then I saw the character in the movie, I was like, all right. Yeah. Yeah, I see that. Guess so. Guess Because I'm not super familiar with the show. We watched it one episode, but I've looked it up a few times. Jared, that's the main guy's name. Yes, he's young Jared slash Gemini.
00:36:10
Speaker
Okay. Whoever the fuck that is. Oh, I bet you know that later seasons there's this evil twin oh named Gemini. That makes perfect sense, Gemini, right? Yeah. It's his like clone or fucking brother that he never knew. Yeah. We were separated at birth. You were raised rich. I was raised poor. Well, join our Patreon at patreon dot.com slash worse people, because if we get enough people, we'll just watch the pretender. You bet. I'll rewatch it. I mean, we could watch it anyway, but we'll talk to you guys about it.
00:36:36
Speaker
Yeah. and Then we also have his friend Scott, who's played by a guy named Billy Kay, whose only credit that I recognize besides this was that he played a baby in Three Men and a Baby. Ooh, not the baby. Not the titular baby. No, just a character named Baby. Oh, when they go to like a daycare.
00:36:53
Speaker
Or when Tom Selleck is ah using the, I think all of them use the baby to flirt with women at one point. They do. And yeah if you see another baby, like, hey, play date. He's just credited as baby. Yeah. So, no. Maybe he was a drug dealer named Baby. He's a fully grown person.
00:37:10
Speaker
He's Tom Selleck's drug dealer. God, what a fucking time. Or Steve Gutenberg's drug dealer. I would rather be Ted Danson's drug dealer if I had my choice. But Tom Selleck just imagine. Well, because Ted Danson's just buying weed. If you're selling drugs to Tom Selleck or Steve Gutenberg, you're selling the hard shit. Just imagine Tom Selleck coming up from a plate of coke with a little milk mustache of just fucking white powder. On his regular mustache? You got a little something on your mustache. It ends up being like a whole eight ball. How fucking sick that thing is. We're on a coke. Check Tom's mustache. It's called Tago's. Tago's? Yeah, it's his Tago carrier. He just puts his mustache to his nose. Woo! We're back. I got a doggy mustache for later. There you go. This is doggy stash. You gonna get a doggy stash?
00:37:53
Speaker
But yeah, so ah Miles is good birds only buying date rape drugs gone. Miles is her like Internet boyfriend who he tells her his name is Deckard. And he's a senior. He's a senior and whatever closer to her age. And he's like, oh, she really likes me. And his friends like you're fucking weird. Yeah. His weird, creepy friend is telling him he's weird and creepy. It's time to evaluate yourself. Yeah. The panty sniffer came in. He said, hey, stop acting so funny.
00:38:20
Speaker
You're creeping us out, dude. And they they're all selected to be on this show, so they go to meet with Freddie Harris and Nora, who are played by Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks. One of my least favorite people on this planet, dude. and Yeah, I don't like Tyra Banks. she's why She's one of the worst. I mean, I've never watched her show. I've just seen things that have come off of her show, and she's just the worst. I think she does a bunch of Lifetime movies. Maybe that's not her. I hope not.
00:38:50
Speaker
Because we're going to do some of those lifetime movies. Who is the model that was in Kill Bill? Oh, no, Vivica A. Fox. Vivica A. Fox. Yeah. So I do like more. Maybe it's Vivica A. Fox who does the Lifetime movies. She's gorgeous. I can get behind Vivica A. Fox. You know what I'm saying? Oh, she's in idle hands. Yes, she is. And so they're interviewing everybody, asking them stupid questions. We see the rest of the people. We have Bill, who's played by Thomas Ian Nicholas, who from here on out will be referred to by me, at least, as Rookie of the Year. Nicholas. Yep.
00:39:18
Speaker
He was also a kid in King Arthur's Court, which is another movie where he plays a baseball kid. Yeah. Yeah. I think he just kept the costume. He was also there would just bring American pie. Yeah. Yeah. And then he was in the American pie movies. and Isn't he in Final Destination One?
00:39:32
Speaker
ah Possibly. I believe he's in that Mentos commercial you sent me. devyn might have been The Devin Mentos commercial. Yeah, he might have been. um But they're asking him all these stupid questions. We also meet the other two. There's Donna and Jim, who have the actors have names, but they aren't in any. Yeah, i don't get too concerned. Donna and Jim. Jim's the weird one. Yeah. He's a music major.
00:39:56
Speaker
Yep, and also he's doing what, polypsych? But I mean, you barely need to know him. They they do kind of do this ah intellectual tussle every now and then. Yeah. Because he just out of nowhere, everybody gets a little pervy at one point, except for the fucking Irish black dude. ah Rudy's pretty on point, but both these other guys are just trying real hard.
00:40:17
Speaker
Yeah, because rookie of the year is all over Katie Sakov from moment one. So they're doing their interviews and something is set up that never comes back. Yeah, I could not believe this, dude. This is I thought we were definitely doing checkoffs, fucking ah voice, vocal warm ups. Yeah, because a light gets knocked over and she's the Sarah screams and it makes another light in the building explode or something. And a bunch of glass fucking pops. Busta Rhymes is like, no, that's what I'm looking for. You're in. That's what you're looking for.
00:40:49
Speaker
Apparently. It's going to pop all your equipment, dude. Yeah. You know that cameras all rely on glass. This is going to be very expensive for you. ah She tries to quit pretty much right away. She tells Busta Rhymes, like, no, I don't want to do this. And this is where we get to Busta Rhymes, like big scene. Yeah. He's watching Watch Han Lee, W.A.T. Watch Han Lee. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if I can hip hop and Kung Fu movies go way back.
00:41:15
Speaker
Oh, yeah. But she comes to the door and wants to quit. And he just he improvises some fucking shit off the top of his head about like, no, you got to do it. You never know what life's going to bring you yada yada. And then she leaves like, damn, I am good. And that's how we know that he came up from the top of his head because he tells us on the back. It's just so bad.
00:41:36
Speaker
I think I can legitimately do a better job than this, and I've never acted a day in my life. I think you have acted every time you're a bartender. That's true. You want me to act happy? That's in my repertoire. And like they go looking, or her and her friends go looking for sexy clothes for her to wear because Katie Sackhoff's like, you can't wear what you're wearing. Katie Sackhoff wants to turn this into her, ah her stepping stone into fame. Yeah. she's She's an early like influencer. Yeah. Which is a term that I can't stand. Yeah.
00:42:06
Speaker
Because you know you know why though, because you're not influencing me. They're not influencing you. I don't think you're influencing anybody. No. America's pretty dumb. That's fair. People are like, oh, I will buy that shoe because she's wearing it. Oh, you know what? My kids bought shit off TikTok. See? Influences, dude. ah But while they're looking for stuff, she sees Michael in the reflection and then he's not there. It's some little kid in like a gerbil costume. hey Easy. he was ah He went as Richard Gere's pet. Very popular in O2.
00:42:36
Speaker
And so it's all it's already starting. And apparently he must have really been walking around because she doesn't know really what he looks like. So I don't know why she'd be seeing him. Oh, you would know. You would know Mike Myers. like I feel like yeah you would know both. Yeah, my brother. I think everybody knew like the story. Yeah. There's no way that she's going to go. And maybe I'm wrong, but she's not going to go on this Internet Danger Game show without research. And you're going to his house. Yeah. I mean, they.
00:43:06
Speaker
Not to spoil anything, but he's dressed up as him. Yeah. So everybody knows what he is that wouldn't work if you didn't know what he looked like. Yeah, exactly. um We got there and they're they have to wear these body cameras. I guess not body cameras. Face cameras. Yeah, it's a GoPro shitty little fucking headlaser.
00:43:26
Speaker
That's what they are. They're just laser pointers that they put on their head, right? This didn't turn them on. The laser pointers back in the shot, dude, who fucking hit theirs? And we get this guy, Charlie, who's setting up cameras inside the house. And he's talking about how he went to the same school as Spielberg, and he knows what he's doing and blah, blah, blah. He's setting up cameras. Keep Spielberg's name out this movie. And Tyler Banks is trying to be all witty and be like, OK, we'll just put the cameras anywhere. Yeah, and then she goes and makes a horrendous sugar coffee drink. That looks like trash. You know what? It looks absolutely awful. You're talking about some real coffee drinkers here. She's got it iced. She's got it whipped creamed. She's dropping chocolate in there. She's dropping like caramel and shit. The coffee itself is white. This is... this someone You know what? Somebody else started a business after this movie called Dutch Brothers. Fucking trash. You're not wrong because she does make an espresso. And she is making the mess of the century. You know what? She knows. I don't have to clean it up. And we're moving out in the control room for the show. You know what you don't do in a room full of all the equipment you need for your money to be made? Spill all this shit. Yeah. Spill coffee and sugar everywhere. Yeah. You want to go because that's how you get ants. That's how you get Michaels. But this guy gets stabbed with a tripod, which apparently has a spear in the bottom. And I asked you when you've you've done film, a lot of spears on your tripods. Yeah, as a person who went to school for like media production... Same one Spielberg went to? No. Oh, okay. Worked on television shows and commercials. i've don't I've never seen... I've seen tripods with little spikes on the bottom for like putting into dirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This thing is... A spear. Two and a half feet long. Oh yeah, you could get a barracuda with this thing.
00:45:06
Speaker
mara buda But Michael kills him and it's kind of cool because the camera is on the tripod and it's pointing down for some reason. So we get to see like the killer's view of him getting stabbed like Jello esque, but not entertaining. Mike Myers knows he's got a rebrand.
00:45:23
Speaker
And he's he's starting it right here. He's starting to realize the technology can work for him. He's seen Survivor. He's the doing his own. What do you think he was doing while he was disappeared for three years catching up on on Survivor. Real housewives. is That was a thing back then. I don't think yet he's watching talk soup, just enjoying all the clips. I'm all the jokes, man. This is my favorite part. so He would just say.
00:45:50
Speaker
That's what he would say. Yeah. There's never been a Michael Myers talking. Mike Myers talks a lot. Yeah. Well, that's why Michael Myers doesn't talk. Mike Myers took all the talk. Oh, but it sounds like this. Oh, I'm going to stab you. You've been in my castle. and I'm from Indiana.
00:46:07
Speaker
Listen to my accent from Indiana! Oh, it's great! Me and Russell Crowe! Is that like the only voice he does, really? When you think about it, like, a soy-mated axe murderer, he's playing his own dad right, and he does, like, a Scottish thing. Sure. Well, it's because he is Scottish. And he does a good, he does a pretty good British guy. I guess he's got the British Frost empowers. Well, and even fucking glorious bastards.
00:46:30
Speaker
Well, I'll forget. He's because he's doing a serious role. He's he's acting. He's ah was' not Churchill, obviously, but he's a step. yeah he's One of the generals that sends them on their mission. And it's Charlie Good.
00:46:42
Speaker
I need to see that again. Oh, I'll watch that any fucking day. When he's playing Doctor Evil. Yeah, but that's not really a voice. That's just his voice. But he doesn't open his, he doesn't open the edges of his mouth. He just goes. Yeah. I mean, he had voices, especially like the old fucking SNL stuff. It's the Scott being his number one. Yeah. Because, you know, he even had the Scottish door.
00:47:04
Speaker
If it's not Scottish, it's crap. We got three sizes. We, not so we, and freaking huge. ah I liked Wayne. I mean, I shouldn't be throwing too many fucking stones at a guy that's doing shitty Scottish accents. I really, I really just got more. You can do fucking Jay Leno and Murphy. It's in the Highlands, you know, and it's still for a walk. I can be Scottish. It's got to be Scottish. if yeah doing Jay Leno doing it Scottish. They can take our lives, but then they'll take our freedom. Yeah, I can't do it. like I don't know. I even how know how to combine those. You start rolling. You start rolling the tongues. You got to get going there, boys. So they get to the house. They're setting all up. Busta Rhymes gives his little speech about how it's a mystery wrapped in a riddle wrapped in an enigma or something. Yeah, we've heard this shitty line in other shitty movies. And he's like, we definitely didn't plan anything in the house. Everything is actually there.
00:48:00
Speaker
Wink, wink, hey, Tyra, do you hear me winking? Even the cameras were already there waiting for us. Nobody's been in this house. And he's got a line, something along the lines of, let the danger-tainment begin, motherfucker. He says danger-tainment with a straight face. More than once. Which makes me think he might actually be a good actor. He probably would lose my shit. I'm like, we're sticking with danger-tainment. We all agreed, together, this is okay.
00:48:24
Speaker
Well, because it's Danger and it's Entertainment. ah ah he didn't see He didn't want to sully the name of Dangertainment because that was going to be the label he was going to start for his horror core career when he started rapping with like Isham and ICP. Yeah.
00:48:40
Speaker
Did he rap with that? No. Oh, God. Well, maybe. I don't think so. dude They had enough money. to They got Snoop Dogg. Did they? buster Or not Busta Rhymes. Old Dirty Bastard. Did they? Kind of. Was he already dead? No. Because we know that they don't mind fucking their dead ex-girlfriends. They paid him like 10 grand for a verse. And they just got a bunch of tapes that were not compatible with their studio. And it was just him mumbling and like just saying because he was so fucking cracked out. Yeah. And so they took the tapes and cut them up to make a verse.
00:49:09
Speaker
It's on a song called Bitches. I might check that out just for research purposes. He's got it for you. I'll be in incognito mode. It's funny. He already has it on his phone. He's played it for people. Don't admit that. But so they go in, they start searching the house. um jud Joe, Jim, Jim starts a fucking child. Jim starts flirting with ah Donna here like saying he's not the right way. It's ah sexually harassing. those You get nice legs. When do they open?
00:49:39
Speaker
I think they have a secret, you've done this before where you're like secretly fucking somebody and you don't want anybody else to know that you're doing anything. So you treat them like shit. I think she's into it, but she doesn't want to be into it. I'm not saying I haven't secretly fucked, I'm saying I wouldn't treat them like shit. Well not treat them like shit, but you'd like poop.
00:49:57
Speaker
throw people off the scent and you act like you don't care about the person at all. She doesn't throw people off the stairs. I'm not dating her. If I was dating her, if I was having sex with her, I'd throw her off the stairs like this. But I think that's because the way she's like, it's a good thing there's no cameras here. Boom. Shirt's off. They're making out. I just think it was bad writing. Like she was supposed to have a change of heart. Am I putting too much into it? I think you put more than they are. I was going to say, I think it's like she's into him because he's scuzzy and gross and that's her type. But she doesn't want to do it in front of her friends. She doesn't want to do it on the Internet because getting with a music major is tantamount to being a lesbian. That's what she said. I can get behind that lesbian. You can get behind any lesbian.
00:50:37
Speaker
I will. They do find some creepy stuff in this house, probably all planted, but it's starting to remind me of the house from Cabin in the Woods, which Jack still hasn't seen. Still hasn't seen it. But they open this little Harry Potter door, and there's a high chair with chains. I'm not sure that's planted, though, because on it was the thing for the... Oh, no, they did want to get down to that bomb shelter thing. Okay, never mind, redacted.
00:51:05
Speaker
But the fact that, like, we're sitting here watching it and then she's like, what is this? Jack's like, that's where we keep the baby. That's why you keep the babies. That's because I thought of a Harry Potter fucking closet, but like, you know, worst case scenario, all the time for feed and bring the baby out. And then they open it and it's a fucking high chair. Yeah. Uh oh. With fucking leather, fucking latching. Yeah, back in the 70s it was leather. For handcuffing your baby to a high chair? No, the strap around the waist.
00:51:33
Speaker
Oh, God. Yeah, but it's got wrist straps. I think we just had a fucking brief glimpse into Whitney's in the 70s. They always chained babies down with leather. You know, I call chaining down should be called strapping down a strapping young lad because he was strapped up when he was young.
00:51:49
Speaker
They stayed young because they killed them. Meanwhile, at the internet or at the party, internet boyfriend is there. yeah there's There's a party, by the way. there's Yeah, they're the only frosh invited. Yeah. She certainly invited you because she doesn't want your parents to know she has a tattoo. Yeah, she has the Lord of the Rings fucking tattooed around her butthole. One O ring to rule them all.
00:52:10
Speaker
That's before the movies people. Yeah, that's how you know, she's a real fan 2002 the first one came out in 2000 or 1999 Yeah, but the second one didn't come out until no I saw the third one in 03 or 02 the third one came out in 03 So she got this she got the butthole tattoo in in Excitement for the third one. Yeah, cuz she wanted to show it off when she went to the all-day marathon Just the news camera comes by like, what are you guys waiting in line for? You tell me. Drops your pants and moons them. Cut, cut, cut. We can't show her butthole. But i know I know. No one's serving alcohol. I know it was 0-3 because I was working at the theater when it came out because they did do an all day marathon of the two extended editions and then the premiere of the new one at midnight. So Katie Sackhoff and Rookie of the Year are also exploring and he's trying to flirt with her. She's kind of flirting back but just to make a fool of him.
00:52:59
Speaker
Uh-huh, and I think to be a little something something for the cameras Well, yeah, cuz she takes off her shirt or starts taking off her shirt and she shows her beautiful little tummy and then sheer bra it's lazy and then i just i i I love how he's just like wait. Wait, you're you' gonna show me your boobs. Yeah mom name his pan dude he is Yeah, the internet knows how quick you fucking yeah, everybody on the internet knows that you came before she took her shirt off all that Did American pie already happen?
00:53:26
Speaker
Yes. ah It was a callback to American Pie. Because what's your Internet trivia say? What's his gets off real quick on because he's not with Nadia. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And she like touches him. Yeah. Any pie fucker. Oh, dude, if if she's going to touch me, I'd probably fucking just right now. That whole one hour and a fucking hour 20 minutes out the window with her. But internet. Oh, we didn't mention internet boyfriend and his roommate are dressed up like Jules and Vern. John Travolta. Jules and Vern. It's not Vern. Vincent. vin Vincent, thank you. I just Jules Vern is. Yeah, and I know where you're going, but I'm not even looking at you.
00:54:08
Speaker
But saying it, Jules Verne. But it's just like Jules and Vincent from Pulp Fiction. But thankfully, Weird Roommate is not doing Blackface. Which I got to give him the credit for that, because he seems like a person that would. Yeah.
00:54:21
Speaker
But you know what, Busta Rhymes is somewhere on set. Do not catch this do not let Rhymes catch you in blackface. Busta Rhymes is pretty swole at this point. He's a bust your face. like he Yeah. ah You pointed out, Jack, when we saw the cover of the movie when we but before he hit play, it's got the that post-scream 90s cover, yeah even though it's 2002, where there's like the knife coming down and it's a reflection of all the main characters. yep And most of them are not white. Yeah, I think it was four out of five where people of color. like yeah Bold. Yeah. Which you would like to think, oh, this movie did bad because of that. The Internet trolls got on board. No, no, this just wasn't good. Yeah. And it came out in July. So stupid. It was up against the two towers or something. So like who the fuck was going to see that? Yeah, no shit. Oh, I got a big competition right there. Do you want to just kind of go through the kills? Yeah, because it's a point by point. Oh, yeah. Yeah. we can just Unless you have some good notes for it.
00:55:18
Speaker
no i do like ah one line that i think it's a jim says to donna because it's when they're still kind of flirting right before they find the murder basement but he's like when are you going to let ah stop doing all that thinking and let your body do the thinking for Yeah. something like that and she's just like Yep. But that's when they start getting all makey makey out and then he finds the key for the bomb cell bomb shelter. And then the fake wall explodes with fake body parts. yep Yeah. that's win oh But this is when we get the boobies. Yes, we do. And at first it's just on that redheads have great nipples. Male or female doesn't matter. At first on that grainy footage. and' of it Let's see your nipples. Like chewed bubble gum. Oh my god, they are beautiful.
00:56:03
Speaker
Man, we need to be doing this with video. I'll stretch out my shirt. Hold on, let me get the camera up. Do it again. Post this. Patreon, if you want to see my nipple for three bucks a month, you can see my nipples. I think that's just OnlyFans. I don't think that's Patreon. See my Lord of the Rings butthole tattoo. But yeah, we do see her boobs. It's in grainy low res until the skeletons fall on her. Yeah.
00:56:27
Speaker
And I was starting to get worried at first when they were like, well, there's cameras all around and you guys have cameras on your head. I was like, oh, fuck, is the rest of this movie going to be Blair Witch fucking grainy? I would have I would have had ah no problem being like, hey, I'm done watching. Yeah, we'll do anything else. Let's do number five. like You know what? Let's just do the episode.
00:56:44
Speaker
Yeah, um I can record. I'm just not going to watch anymore. um Katie Sackhoff is faking being attacked, so she scares her friends scream. If this is really her, it is. dream I think it's really her rookie of the year finally gets killed. Like we start getting kills for real. Yeah. Yes.
00:57:02
Speaker
ah It's like it's kind of a cool one. He's looking at this old shitty mirror. I like Michael. There's just Michael Mirrors, Michael Mirrors. Yeah, I mean, the Freudian slip or it's a good slip. Michael Myers burst through the fucking mirror and like pulls him in and just like stabs him a bunch of times, I think. Yeah, you get it. I want to stab him in the top of the head. What I wanted was him to pull him down on a jagged mirror. yeah Yeah, that would have been dope. And then finish off with a knife. of that Well, I have a feeling going into this because I remember a lot of the kills in H2O being like
00:57:33
Speaker
like you start seeing it and it cuts away kind of shit. All of fucking the Jason's that we've done. Yeah, exactly. And so I was waiting for like Michael Myers grabs him and pulls him and then we just cut away and find him dead later. Yeah. So at least we saw we saw this knife go right into the top of his skull. Yeah, we did. yeah cool I'll give credit where this movie is where where where I can on this movie. It
Rumors and Actor's Career Impact
00:57:52
Speaker
doesn't.
00:57:52
Speaker
do a lot of really shitty special effects like computer graphic. Yeah. You know, there's a couple here. And I read I read that there was no stunt man here. They really stabbed him in the head. And that's why after this, he was only in American pie sequels. They hit a very. So you're going to be a fucking top head lobotomy. I read that on the Internet movie, Derek Database. I'm not sure if you're on the site yourself as a source.
00:58:16
Speaker
It's a true story. Uh-huh. I read it in my diary. Why would it be written down if it's not true? It's a story that I honestly wrote. Mm-hmm. And we get, ah speaking of a story I wrote real quick, the guy who wrote this, who I didn't have any credits for, Larry Brand, is also credited with writing a 37-minute like short film called Michael versus Jason. Does that sound familiar to you, wife?
00:58:39
Speaker
Oh, my. Yeah. The guy that we I don't know. I don't remember if it got cut from the episode. We talked about it. But there was a guy in a wheelchair who came up to us at the movie theater one day and he was like, oh, I was writing a script. It's Michael versus Jason. And he's going to this whole thing about how it's got their dads in it. And it's all this stuff. And then I saw this guy had a credit for that back in 2004. And I was like, is this that guy? Could be. Could be. Did I just meet Larry Brand? He even said it was a short film. Is there a picture of Larry Brand?
00:59:06
Speaker
Well, i an old picture probably. Talk amongst yourselves. But anyway, theres there is a guy also at the party who's credited as teen party guy. I want to mention because it's kind of funny because he's kind of a person. He's someone's related to a person. He looks like a person. His name is Kyle LeBean. He was in Freddie versus Jason, but he's also Tyler LeBean's brother.
00:59:27
Speaker
Tyler Levine was in the show Reaper, which is a pretty cool show. Tucson's Tucson. Yeah, the sons of Tucson, which was not a cool show. No, I like him when he's in the right role. He was in Super Troopers, too. He was one of the Canadian cops, the Mounties. Yeah, he's in he's in this. It was five seasons. The new new Amsterdam. New Amsterdam. New medical show. It was a medical show.
00:59:54
Speaker
Fucking the roommate. Oh, I don't have a room anymore. The old roommate used to watch that in the murder basement when they're about to fuck and all that shit falls out of the wall. They figure out it's fake because Jim looks at the
Michael Myers and Busta Rhymes Interaction
01:00:03
Speaker
one of the arms that fell out and it's got a big old stamp on it made in fucking Taiwan. I mean, hey, they make people in Taiwan called Taiwanese people. I mean, this guy doesn't even understand geography. Wait, do I have a stamp on me that says made in the US? Yeah, it was made in Colorado. It's your Calvin Hobbs tattoo. And I have a Tommy gun tattooed on my arm. I don't think anybody outside of America has got a Tommy gun tattooed on their arm. That's fair. We see Michael Myers in the house like stalking around for the first time, really. We've seen flashes of him in a corner or whatever. We saw him come through the mirror.
01:00:37
Speaker
But he comes walking through a door and then not like actually through the door, not through the door, like for one it's way a frame, a door frame. um But then right behind Michael Myers is Michael Myers. It's inception of Michael. It's real.
01:00:52
Speaker
Well, you know, which one's real? The one actually doing the creepy stalking, not the one whose footsteps we can hear. Yeah, because they've they fucking the fully artists don't put in footsteps for my real Michael Myers. He's got a move that I noticed in this movie and in flashbacks where he just one arm lowers himself down for the rafters. This guy is just rocked. Yeah. I mean, you see him huck a pretty buff fucking bus to rhymes across a room. Oh, yeah. 210 pound Busta Rhymes, maybe more. But so fake Michael Myers is Busta Rhymes, who's just yelling at this dude thinking it's one of his guys. He's like, what the fuck are you doing dressed up like Michael? He thinks he's the guy that got stabbed earlier. He thinks it's Gus. I'm Michael Myers. Like, what the fuck are you doing? Scoot, skedaddle, get the fuck out of Dodge. You don't get. Now I'm just waiting for him to get stabbed in the face. He even fucking taps it on the fucking head. he's Oh, yeah. He's doing not like thinking. I'm like, yeah you are going to get your your fingers eaten. This is the one part of the movie that I was like, all right.
01:01:47
Speaker
I thought for sure this is where you'd Busta Rhymes dies. Same. Like you're out of this movie because you're tapping Michael Myers. Yep. Don't tap me on the fucking head and I'm not a fucking serial killer. yeah Well, I think Busta Rhymes saw Deep Blue Sea and was like, well, LL made it through most of that movie, so you guys can't kill me yet. He made it through the whole movie. Did he? Oh, oh he did. Yeah, he did. His hat is like a shark fin, so. Deepest Bluest. He can survive.
01:02:13
Speaker
Uh Donna finds a secret tunnel behind the fake secret tunnel. and So she goes into that and find Michael's my Michael's Myers. Michael's Myers Christ dude today. Welcome to the cooking show. Michael's Mirrors.
Michael Myers' Strength and Basement Discovery
01:02:25
Speaker
He finds Michael Myers uh basement bedroom with like an eviscerated rat that's still alive. Today we're making Ratatouille.
01:02:33
Speaker
That's what he was trying to do. Always better when it's fresh. And it was funny because throughout this whole movie, Sean Patrick Thomas has been saying like, look, people only go crazy because they don't have the right kind of diet. Hitler was a vegetarian and manic as shit. So, you know, maybe Michael Myers has just been eating rats his whole life. He's like, he's just too much on protein. You need to like balance it out. Check your aggression. I don't know which he said some serial killer is like, that dude only ate Twinkies. That will make you a killer.
01:02:58
Speaker
Eating just Twinkies is gonna turn you into a mad person, but Michael Myers gets her chases her down There's a good gnarled gate at the end of this tunnel There's one course gnarled gate is the proper way to fucking describe this thing And of course, and it looks like the gate was fine But when he had to get to a secret room, he just walked through it and all Bent all the bars out of the way. Oh shit. I forgot my keys
01:03:24
Speaker
They're perfect. He looks like she could have gone through it. i Oh, I agree. I agree. I mean, you would have had some discomfort. You're going to you're going to it's going to hurt the butt. You're going to need a tetanus shot because you're going to scratch something. Give me the tetanus shot. I will be alive.
01:03:37
Speaker
yeah because he lifts her up and just he doesn't even like thrust her onto this broken low like piece of gate. He penetrates her, slides her on. Yeah, that's it was a sexy kind of. This is sex for Mike Myers. Yeah. Oh, and this is also when we finally, besides the very, very opening, credits we get the Michael, we get the fucking Halloween theme. Yeah, and it's good. didoo do didoo to to tin dude ah Yeah, it's the only it's the best part of this one. And it's also the only time they do it, isn't it? No, they do it once more later. It's right at the beginning before anything happens when the screen is black and we're just getting credits. Yeah. And then it's here and then it's toward the end. There's another one. and So now we got Katie Sackoff finds
01:04:20
Speaker
Rookie of the Year's dead body. Yep. And screams and everyone's like, I'm not falling for it again. Well, no, ah Buster. Buster Meyers attacks her first. Yeah. Oh, that's right. And then that's why she goes. And this is where they're all confirmed that everything's fake because the Meyers attacks her and he's like, everybody turn off your cameras. He tells him this is all bullshit. And so when she goes up, because he says what dude hits him with the Taiwan hand. Oh, yes. Yeah, he does. He should have said something. I'm going to hand it to you. He just goes, Ty,
01:04:50
Speaker
um ah But ah Freddie is saying a thought that I had, we couldn't just let you go in here and risk nothing happening. Oh, Busta Rhymes. Busta Rhymes, sorry. Who the fuck is Freddie? Busta Meyers.
01:05:03
Speaker
ah He does voice what we thought. Like, you can't just let him go in there with nothing. yeah You had to set up something, otherwise it could just be them. Or maybe he's hoping they're going to fucking work. Nobody actually likes reality. Because ghost hunters hasn't come out yet. He didn't know they could just wander around a spoopy house. Yeah. Who brought the bong?
01:05:21
Speaker
Uh, there's like a little fucking red graphics, plastic yeah pistol, grip, metal bowl. Oh, Katie Sackhoff and ah Sean Patrick Thomas are just getting stoned. And I they do love that part because he's like, good thing there's no cameras in here. And she's like, we're wearing cameras, dude.
01:05:38
Speaker
I just wondered like you when you're going into this place, like, all right I got to bring my essentials. I got my knife. I got a Leatherman tool. I got some MREs. I got my fucking bong. Oh, you know what?
01:05:50
Speaker
It's 2002. She's wearing cargo pants, I'm assuming. They had to give us a reason. they Like, she's been bitchy, I guess, but they had to give us a reason for Rudy's Sean Patrick Thomas to die because slasher movies, you do drugs, you have premarital sex, you die.
Horror Tropes and Reality Show Participants
01:06:03
Speaker
Yeah. And he's just been a fitness nut, basically. A really he been delightful. Yeah. He's been a really good boy. So I guess they had to have him smoke weed so that he would there'd be a reason for him to be still a really good boy in my eyes. Yeah, well, it's 2002 in Illinois. Oh, Indiana. Yeah, you can't even smoke weed there now, I'm sure. Indiana, I guarantee you, they might have medical, but I doubt it. Doubt it. They don't have rec. You go next state for that. Don't come back either. But yeah, so that's when Katie Sackhoff finds Rookie of the Year hanging from the attic stairs. She screams and they're all like, oh, girl who cried wolf. And then Michael Myers comes out. She's covered in blood. And she's like, he's dead.
01:06:41
Speaker
Dude, Michael Myers comes out and they're like, cool, can you bust a rhyme? Sure. He slices her fucking head right off. Oh yeah. And it tumbles down these stairs. What do you do with that Katie Sackhoff head when you're done with this shoot? Just a bunch of fucking stage hands. Busta has it. What do you do with that open mouth Katie Sackhoff doll head? I'm surprised. Busta has his own. He has his own people.
01:07:03
Speaker
Speaking of sad nerds, I'm surprised that ah big bang theory, which had a ah running thing of having having Katie sack off on there mostly as like hallucinations for Howard.
01:07:15
Speaker
Yeah, there was one time she was on the train. Yeah, she was really there in one, but like he would see her all the time. It was like his fake mind girlfriend. I'm honestly surprised that at no point he was like, look, I got this prop head from Halloween Resurrection. Yeah. Like, what are you using that for? They couldn't do it tastefully. They didn't do a lot tastefully on that show. like Not for Howard. Howard was the great that show.
01:07:37
Speaker
Every fucking person's like, you know what? You were going to love this show. And then I watched like a couple episodes. I'm like, you know, nothing of me. My parents were like, you would love it because it's like nerd stuff. And I was watching. I was like, this is making fun of nerds. Yeah. But I also watched the whole thing with Whitney. Also, I'm not like astrophysicist nerd.
01:07:53
Speaker
Yeah, I am Star Wars like they're saying words. I don't know. Yeah. Well, they start talking about comic books and Star Wars got me. I'm back in. Well, I guess it was mostly Star Trek. I don't think they owned Star Wars. So they didn't talk because it's fantasy. Star Trek is science fiction precursor to science fact. OK, yeah. They watch Star Wars like, well, there's no sound in space. There's no fire in space.
01:08:16
Speaker
oh That's right, because there's no oxygen, huh? But George Lucas said be fucking boring if you didn't see that shit. Yeah. Although you haven't watched Battlestar Galactica. Give it a watch because they go with like science, like hard, hard science fiction, they
Sci-Fi vs. Fantasy: Battlestar Galactica and Star Wars
01:08:32
Speaker
call it. So it's more like real shit. And when stuff explodes, like you'll see it like an explosion that gets taken down real quick because, the you know, there's inside the ship, there's gas in there. Yeah, you would have oxygen and it starts and it goes down. But just the way they do things like just the force of ship blowing out and like just it's it's
01:08:47
Speaker
pretty good without the explosions in space. Yeah. But I mean, just it I also like George Lucas's version as well. Yeah. No, so do I. Obviously we have a whole show about it. I took shots first dot com pod dot com. Find it. There'll be a link up here somewhere. There will be a link in the description of this episode. There's a couple of times that Michael Myers just straight up spikes the lens and and just I can see him after a kill. Like, share and subscribe.
01:09:13
Speaker
Yeah, it's got to rebrand. You want to support this channel? It's killing me that you don't have to subscribe. Patreon dot.com slash I killed your mom for only three bucks a month. You could watch me kill someone you love. His Patreon is Patreon dot.com slash Laurie Strode did it. Oh, shit. Shots fired. But Michael comes down and picks up this dude, Jim, and literally just crushes this guy's head. and It doesn't crush and pop as we'd like to see. he I'm sorry. He stabs the knife into the wall to do this. I'm just going to put this here for later. Yeah, I'm going to hold this here because I don't need a knife for this loser. He just pushes down on his head and you hear the crashing, and the crashing, scratching, scratching. You're on it today. All those words. He's Bob Cratchit-ing.
01:09:57
Speaker
and I mean, I would have liked to see the whole head crushed with a special effect, but it's just so brutal, just watching him just squeeze this guy's head and hearing the crunching noises. Jim has the worst noise where I would be screaming if you're crushing my head. He goes, oh, oh, it's the weakest,
Tension and Live Streaming Party
01:10:17
Speaker
like, but yeah Christopher Walken's head getting scream. Oh, no, my melon is getting crushed. I don't even know what that means, but I can feel it getting crushed.
01:10:26
Speaker
Sorry, I've been drinking all day and now I'm a little quaffamed.
01:10:32
Speaker
like Okay, Quaffle damn near killed him and then Rudy and Michael have a knife fight in the kitchen and dude It's cool. I mean Rudy's doing better than anybody else at this point Yeah, I mean he's mostly holding his own until he's got these two knives and Michael grabs his arms Turns them in and we don't see this part, but he stabs him in the gut Lifts him up and stabs the knives through the wall to like earn the door to mount him on the door and then you hear The people watching are like Yeah, because they all think it's fake. Oh, yeah that party's gotten bigger and bigger. Oh, yeah, yeah. Every time we cut to it. Because internet boyfriend was hanging out in like a bedroom at this party by himself. And people slowly trickled in. The first couple are about to bang. Right on front on top of him. And ah the fucking big guy, he's like, well, I'm watching this the show. Do you want to watch? And he's like, fuck no. The girl's like, yeah. yeah Oh, OK, sure. Yeah, no, no, that sounds great. The girl I was going to bang wants to watch, so I'm going to watch with you. Here we go. Wait, so we're we're not banging? Well, then I guess I'll watch i'll watch the show. The nerd kid has to give me a hand job.
01:11:31
Speaker
I'm coming. But after he mounts him on the door, he picks up this big old butcher knife or chef's knife. i guess It's a chef's knife, but it's the fucking size of a butcher knife. This is absurd. This is like if you want to cut 18 carats at once. I was like, this chef's knife is purely through cutting through like an actual side of beef. Yeah. Yeah. And I want one, by the way. He sticks it through Rudy. And this is when I was like, does this count as crucifixion? Because he's hung up on the door. There's three there's three knives in him.
01:12:05
Speaker
I don't know. Hey, Jesus walks into a hotel, a Roman hotel says, can you put me up for the night? Hey, this thing on. Uh, so dead, Rudy's dead. Uh, internet helper is now talking to, or internet friend is now becoming internet helper. He's now becoming internet helper because he's texting Sarah on her Palm pilot.
01:12:27
Speaker
Okay, for someone like me that's mostly a dummy, what a nightmare that you see what I'm texting as I'm texting it because I need spell checks. My fat thumbs are going to get in the way. I'm going to misuse words that I don't understand that well. They did it earlier also when she was writing him an email. Like it was showing it type. How terrifying would that be? That happens in movies all the time. We saw it in hackers yeah as they're typing to each other. The words are coming up one letter at a time. Hackers, I can at least explain a way that they're in some secret dark, chat dark web chat room that gives you real time. But I hate it. It's so dumb. It's never how it's worked. It gives me anxiety just like thinking about having to text someone that live shit. And I would be doing hacker code like the letter B and then the number four. It gives me anxiety to see the three dots go. boploop And speaking of singers, I turn that shit off. Or speaking of like hip hop R and&B musicians who were in shitty horror movies, ah Kelly Rowland, who appears in Freddy vs. Jason and drops a big fat F-bomb,
01:13:25
Speaker
It was Kelly Rowland. She was in Destiny's Child. Short hair. Not Beyonce. Yeah. hey The one that's not Beyonce and not the one that nobody knows. Oh, OK. Yeah. Middle fame. Yeah, she had other hits kind of. But she had a song on her own. This just this whole talk reminded me. She had some song and I've seen this as a meme, which is why I know it. She had some song where she's doing a video and she's got like a sidekick and she's trying to text someone.
01:13:49
Speaker
And like they show the screen and it's like, hey, you up or whatever. And she's clearly typing into like a Microsoft Excel. It's not a texting thing at all. like You see the grid and everything and there's like a line through the word because they didn't even. And makes me laugh and it just this made me think of that because. Wasn't Brandy in a horror movie? Yeah, she's in one right now.
01:14:11
Speaker
or very recently was like what the front room we talked about it on han took shots first because oh the mother yeah oh god yeah edie karn who's the actress's name i can't think of right now but uh serial karn's mom yeah is her like evil stepmom uh-huh well no but i also met and i do want to see that i i also met like a big franchise like is she in a scream Is she in a Halloween? I don't know. Wife person. I'm Googling. All right. ah But so he's helping her by texting her. ah He gets her. He's not that helpful. No, he's not because he's like he's in the hallway. He keeps saying in the hall. He's in the house. There are so many hallways. OK, I know he's in a fucking house. This is a house built in the 70s. It's not open floor plan there. It's all hallways. It's all hallways all the time. I still know what you did last summer. Oh, that's right. She is in that. Which is not a hugely known one, but a known one. I mean, it's no no that's the one where they win tickets to the Bahamas or something. Yes, it is. It's no ah urban legends. Yeah, but it's got Jennifer Newhart. With Rebecca G. Hart. Jennifer Love Huge Shits. Yeah.
01:15:15
Speaker
for Rebecca Gayhart. She's still in the second one. She's all three, huh? Yeah, probably. I think she had a dude. I think she had a musical career finger quote and was putting her songs in those movies. I think I can. Don't go nowhere that we'll we'll watch them one day. Oh, yeah. Only for episodes, not for enjoyment. I've seen the first two. I know that for sure. Uh huh.
01:15:35
Speaker
I know what you did, and I still know what you did. I never saw, I always know what you did. there I keep knowing what you're doing. Well, the third one's i I'll always know. The fourth one was I keep knowing. The fifth one was, uh, no, I'm just kidding. The fifth one's called what you do and what you doing last summer. What you doing in this summer and see if you want to come to my boat house.
01:15:54
Speaker
ah Just do a little fishing, I've got a fish hook for a hand. And then there's the porn parody, I know who you did last summer. what did i If that's not real, get on it, Hollywood. It's still the fisherman serial killer running around except for his dick is a fish hook. And his hand is said about a fish hook is a dildo. Yeah.
01:16:11
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Are we doing this? Yeah, we're making it. Are we writing this? Trademark, copyright, bad movies, worse people. I'm going to put this in an envelope and mail it to myself. Write the date on it. That's perfect. That definitely works. Holds up in court every time. Yeah. So she gets out. She gets to the roof. He's following her. She goes up instead of down because, I mean, this is two stories. There's no way you could jump two stories. That's crazy.
01:16:34
Speaker
So you just climb up and get your fucking Achilles heel cut by. I'm getting off the roof. and I'm probably going to be limping away. Yeah. And I might limp the rest of my life. But yeah. Hey, you know what?
01:16:45
Speaker
Just get super drunk, you're ragdoll. Turns out- Stop, drop, and roll. That's for fires, not jumping off roofs. Turns out she's limping the rest of her life anyway because he cuts both of her, like the back of her legs. He yeah doesn't get the tendon. He doesn't get that Achilles tendon because then she'd be hobbled. She gets into the top room, which is a bedroom. Michael Myers comes busting in. They have a little bit more tussle. Busta Rhymes comes in to save the day.
01:17:08
Speaker
Chun-Li style. What Chun-Li style? He's kicking. By the way, why Chun-Li is fake. want you always wake up yeah I don't want you guys to go look up watch Chun-Li movies. It was ah probably like a Bruce Lee movie. I think they just were like they wanted to say a real like kung fu actor and they they like sent money to that guy's estate and they were like, no, thank you. We didn't get the rights. Sorry. But yeah, he's doing some hyas. He's doing his best three ninjas. He looks good. He's all right.
01:17:34
Speaker
He's better at fighting than he did acting. I did like the subtitles just said kung fu sounds. I'm like, what you mean, like what he's making or the sounds of him hitting him? Which ones are kung fu sounds? The actual strike.
Busta Rhymes vs. Michael Myers: Martial Arts and Humor
01:17:45
Speaker
And he does kick Michael Myers out the window and Michael Myers is hung, gets hung. Hanged. Hanged. Hanged. He might be hung. He could be. He could be very well hung. With all this aggression, I don't think so. Yeah. Might be what's causing the he's got an anger boner. That's why he's mad at the rats. They got bigger dick.
01:18:05
Speaker
But they're like, okay, cool. we We win. This isn't a horror movie. There's no way he's coming back. ah we're done right He's still alive. He's in the house. Yeah. yes She texts him. Where is he in the house? Turned around. Thank you. He's right behind her. You have the view of all the cameras in this house. And the best you could do was he's in the house. He's in a house is more than behind you. Behind you is so quick. Look back.
01:18:31
Speaker
run three letters run go anywhere else they're not going out the front door by the way because it's locked presumably from the outside i guess they did say at the beginning nobody can leave the house until the morning so we just didn't see him put a fucking padlock on it or some shit um But he ends up stabbing Busta Rhymes. but He's definitely dead. Yeah. Well, we we see him but not shit his pants. Yeah. well he And he only he stabs him in like the top of the shoulder, which I'm easiest. That sucks. Yeah. But that's not going to kill you probably. No. This is a big knife. If you stabbed hard enough, you could probably reach the heart. He he went, he was stabbed in the heart through the shoulder.
01:19:08
Speaker
When I worked at the deli, I think we did have a knife this long and that was always my. knife Fuck. Yeah. Well, if you get fucking Michael Myers. yeah And then Sarah finds the murder tunnels and she goes through there. Michael Myers chasing her. She gets out into what I think is the garage, maybe where they have their control room set up. And this is where we find ah Tyra Banks. No one cares. Tyra Banks dead. There's a big pool of blood. She's hanging off the ceiling. I wanted to see her get her head crushed in. Yeah. I would like to see Michael Myers fold her in half and then fold that in half and then that one more time and then stuff her in the glove box with a pinto and then drive that pinto backwards into a tree so it catches fire. You know, they could have just rose McGallender.
01:19:54
Speaker
Yeah. but That's one of the coolest kills in Scream. Yeah, but I like Rose McGowan more. Yeah, but you know when she's crawling through the cat door and then he opens the garage door and breaks her in half, that's pretty cool. It's very cool. She's in the garage. Do it. But no. I like mine. we I like our theory that her acting was just not good enough. All right, take 97. If we don't get it here, we are cutting her death and we're just going to have her strung up bleeding. She's strung up with like her wires and stuff so that she can look like she's hanging in. She's like, oh, no, I'm dying. I can't breathe. You guys help me. And they're like, that's not how you know what. Well, please help me. I'm dying. and ah tyra Oh, you know what? That's the problem. It's Tyra Banks. They didn't do a bunch of takes. She did it. And they're like, we're going to do it one more time. And she's like, you got it. And just walked away. yeah You're already having the makeup. I'm not doing it again.
01:20:43
Speaker
um We have flashbacks to Friday the 13th, part five here that we just covered in September. ah hu ah Sarah finds a chainsaw, starts fighting Michael Myers, who's fighting her off with a chef's knife. This is not how you stab somebody with a chainsaw. You don't go sideways with it. No, she's at least trying to swing it. She does like connect with him on the peck and it just kind of like rubs that cloth out.
01:21:07
Speaker
I would be stabbing and thrusting, first of all, but but I guarantee you, if I can get that chainsaw there, you're fucking dead. Also, this guy's eight feet tall. Yeah. Go low. I am going to cut you into little pieces. Get his ankles. Put you in a cement box and drop you at the bottom of the ocean. Because you know what's going to happen? Worst case scenario, you get his ankles, you cut off his foot. He can't walk any anymore. Best case scenario. Worst case scenario, he doesn't have feet and he's just stumping at you. Yeah.
01:21:30
Speaker
And at least it's funny. He's been crawling at you with fucking knife in his teeth. Yeah, it'll be like a what the fuck is that movie we did with Steve? Major pain. Shark Exorcist. Major pain. Where that guy gets his legs cut off and he's waddling around or bitten off. And then Michael Myers says, I can't feel my legs. And I says, Michael, the legs You ain't got no legs. His little nubs is kicking like this here. So it was Santa Shark.
01:21:53
Speaker
No, that wasn't Santa Jaws. That was Shark Exorcist. No, it was Santa Jaws. It was Santa Jaws. Because it was an elf. Yeah. Yeah. That's how I know what season it was. Got it. All right. I know which shitty shark movie we talked about with Steve. like I wonder how Steve keeps him fucking straight, dude. I can't even imagine. like we i I lose track of the the kind of shitty movies we do. He just does all these similar shark movies.
01:22:17
Speaker
Dude, ah he because on patron Patreon, we write a blurb of all the stuff we watch. I watch so much shit with him, I'm like, ah. What did I just watch with you? My problem, a little peek into the the lens here of my life. I'm usually just so fucked up, i'm too i don't I forget to write the blurb. And then I have to like, the it's the last of the month and I'm like, well, huh, I know I watched this one. I just check everything in on Letterbox, so when it comes to that part, I go copy paste. Yeah.
01:22:45
Speaker
That's the easy way to do it. But I do want to mention not the way I'm doing it. Since we're talking about Steve, I want to mention i we're not currently playing his ad because his show isn't currently on the air because he's having some issues. Yeah. But if you guys want to support Steve and Bucket of Chum, he is doing his Patreon episodes for the rest of this year. Still, he's just can't do his weekly episodes. Yeah. So go to Patreon dot.com slash Bucket of Chum. I think his is two bucks. Oh, it's be and he's just he's having some issues, computer, other stuff. And he just can't do the show right now. Yeah. And we love him. So they do love help him out. Yeah. If
Dramatic Explosion and Climax
01:23:18
Speaker
you got your bucks. Yeah. ah what What we didn't mention during this whole confrontation in the control room is she also when she tried to keep him in the basement, she dropped a lawnmower on top of it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Which then spills gas everywhere. Turn the lawnmower on and just fucking send it down to him.
01:23:35
Speaker
And this whole time, Jack's like, so here's where she's going to scream, right? Here's where she's going to scream. Yeah, because oh, she's about to get stabbed. The screams coming. Yeah. I'm shocked that never fucking came out. Is there an alternate ending? Did she where she screams? Did she run to the tunnel yet?
01:23:50
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, she's in the control room because we thought that's where she was definitely going to scream because there was nowhere to fucking go. I mean, I said it multiple times. Yeah, it was any time that she had her back to a wall, preferably or otherwise, like yeah here it comes. Oh, not this time. All right. Well, next next one for sure. Here it comes. No. All right.
01:24:07
Speaker
Yeah, that's a that's a Chekhov's gun that was never fired. Yeah, it's very disappointing. Chekhov's blink. It's kind of his fucking rule, dude. Chekhov's blanks. Chekhov is shooting blanks. He's shooting blanks. But she she shoves him into some or no, she has the chainsaw going still and hits these electric wires that are hanging everywhere.
01:24:27
Speaker
and sparks start shooting out and it catches the gas on fire. So now the whole garage on is on fire. I'll Friday, the 13th part seven that we did for our last Friday, the 13th last year where she lights the basement on fire. Only this time it wasn't on purpose. Yeah.
01:24:43
Speaker
Happy accidents, dude. And this table falls on her leg and she's pinned down by this three pound mixing board. This is a fucking, you say table, it is a fucking big lots shelving system. Yep. Yeah. Get this the fuck off you. It's made out of particle board. the The heaviest thing, both this mixer and this table combined weigh one than that fifth of what that chainsaw was. I would actually be nervous this mixer would collapse the fucking shelf.
01:25:10
Speaker
Yes. Can I put something on this? No, no, don't put it on. That's a display shelf only. Maybe she rolled herself into the wires. Yeah. Maybe that's what we couldn't see. This movie is so fucking lazy. It's dumb. But Michael's about to stab her. What? And then in through the door.
01:25:25
Speaker
bus Busta. Busta Myers. Busta Myers. Busta Myers. And he's got two fucking one liners in this scene. Put your hands where my eyes can see. You can't have two one liners. Nope. You can't pluralize the lone rangers. He bustin' trick or treat, motherfucker.
01:25:43
Speaker
and delivered so fucking terribly. I laughed so hard. Not what he was going for, Whitney. Yeah, you're not supposed to be laughing at that point. He's like, this is my tough action thing. oh There's Whitney and the rest of the fucking audience laughing. Aw, man. That's where you're supposed to be like, woo, he saved me. Everybody's like, ha! Yeah, you're supposed to be there. Yeah, motherfucker, yeah! Well, that's why I loved it, because it made me laugh.
01:26:07
Speaker
I'm glad we had fun with it and he could' have he couldve gone with like a tricky kaye tricky kae motherfu ah but he like kicks michael myers into a shelving thing and pulls out sarah and they're trying to leave and Michael Myers fucking grabs Busta and this is where he like just hucks this dude because he's all oh shit like across this 20 foot wide garage yeah like 20 30 feet goes into the wall presumably dead without shitting his pants again like knocked out at least yeah well that that' i've shit my pants that way and he as Michael Myers comes up to him to finish the job he pulls this cool
01:26:45
Speaker
and stabs Michael Myers in the balls with an electrical card. He goes trade for the fucking balls. hey Yeah. You know what? He's one of the few people that knew Michael Myers, Prince Albert. Oh, he really get that electricity going. Yeah, he had the lore on that.
Ending and Michael Myers' Suggestive Return
01:26:59
Speaker
And then he picks up Sarah and goes walking out the door and says, hey, Mikey.
01:27:03
Speaker
Happy Halloween. Another one liner. And as he's saying this, we have Sarah's butt directly in the face of the. Yeah, it's it's a real weird thing to have a deliver a line. when We need to look over a girl's ass that's over your on your shoulder. Hey, by the way, get down, get move, move that thing. Hey, happy Halloween motherfucker.
01:27:22
Speaker
i I'm going to eat this snack. And then the whole house burns down. It's the next morning. The news people are there. They're trying to question everybody. Everybody is like, what? Just fuck off. Busta Rhymes has like a he's a moment of acting noble, acting like he's taking the high ground. Yeah. Or you gonna say um she get her palm pilot goes off and he's like, you're alive. Exclamation point.
01:27:46
Speaker
She starts looking around like what this dude also has a Palm Pilot. you' You're the only rich kid in this town. Yeah, he's on a fucking computer. Yeah, he's like, we can see you on the news. So they're still at this party. So there was cocaine flowing. Oh, yeah. 2002. We don't. We're prefrontal. Haven't you haven't you stayed up at parties? Yeah. So that there there are so many people at this party I would have left hours ago. What? Why do you think it's not coincidence that cocaine and college rhyme The biggest party I went to in college, big house party, like kind of like this full of people, whatever. Not a house like this. It's a shitty little house in Flagstaff, but probably 200 people in this little fucking trash house. That sounds like a bag of nope. Oh, aren't you charging people at the door? No, that wasn't that that was different. This one I went to. It was like a frat thing. I was one of some friends. We walked in, made our way across the room, which is a nightmare to where the drinks were. I got a beer. I looked around and I was like, well, guys,
01:28:42
Speaker
I'll see you later. And it took another 10 minutes to make my way across the room. By the time I got there, my beer was gone. Great. And then out the door. yeah So I would not have still been at this party. No way. Well, maybe you would if everybody's in this fucking room watching. Derek's like, I got the fucking cocktail bar to myself. What are they doing? They're watching these people really get murdered on this danger-tainment. Wait, it got good? Did you say danger-tainment? It's the stupidest name I've ever fucking heard. I'll go home and stream it. I'll be in my dorm.
01:29:08
Speaker
Now you're staying by this open bar, dude. Yeah. You're like, you know, I'm going to take these bottles. all You guys are busy. slitch slites Slitches, slitches, slitches, slitches. It's an open bar cutie. I'll take a bucket of scotch. So the news. So the news is in her face and like, Sarah, Sarah, what do you have to say? And then she looks at her palm pilot and looks like spikes the cameras. Thank you, Declan. You're going to get a Hummer later.
01:29:31
Speaker
And Bust arrives. Ever heard of a rim job? Bust arrives. They're trying to interview him. They're like, what do you have to say? What do you think of Michael Myers? And he does this high ground thing. He's not a fucking soundbite. He's not a fucking property. He's not a hero or whatever they're saying. He's not a gimmick, a tie in, a cameo. Yeah. All of a sudden he's like, all the things that we're doing were terrible. I learned something today because of the death of multiple children. If we know anything about internet moguls, they're very open to change people.
01:29:55
Speaker
Yeah, that's what I hear. That's what I hear. I wrote it in my diary. Why wouldn't it be true? And he's like, you want to know what I feel? Feel this and shoves the camera and the man gets arrested for assault. End of the movie. But wait, there's more. Well, she wanted to see his face. And so her being Sarah.
01:30:15
Speaker
Yeah. Sarah and Buster Myers, I'm like, yeah, let's see his face. And they unzip and show them, but not us. You don't get to see it. And they're like, all right, cool. Looking a little crispy, like a Kentucky Fried motherfucker. Another one-liner. Yeah.
01:30:30
Speaker
And then cut to the morgue morgue. And like we got a celebrity for you. This little blonde doctor is like, all right, I'll get my autograph book. No, for real. It's Michael Myers. All right. See you. Yeah. You're going to leave me alone with Michael Myers. Your five foot three blonde girl weighs maybe fucking ninety five pounds. You'll be fine. OK. Here's the definitely dead corpse of a guy who's come back six times. See you later.
01:30:51
Speaker
ah We all we all talked about it. We do. We march him right to the incinerator, right? Yeah. Like under fucking guard. i What are they going to do? An autopsy? No, just oh, he didn't burn in the fire. Well, I will just burn him in this in the front yard. Yeah. The news was something. We got something for the news. You want to make it? I was going to say believable, but it wouldn't be get the government involved where they want to figure out how he's always come back. Jason X. Jason X. Does Michael Myers ever go to space? No. That's a shame to hear.
01:31:18
Speaker
I mean, maybe in some fan fiction. Hi, Zib. Zib loves Jason. Jason or just like Jason X or Jason? and Jason X is one of his favorites. I love that movie. i've heard as say I've heard this from Derek, how just like underratedly bad good it is. Yeah. No, it's horrendous. He fucking loves it.
01:31:36
Speaker
But she goes over to check him out. The mask is still on his face. She goes to take it off. So they didn't see his face at all, by the way. No, I want to see his face. Oh, mask must be him. Sure. Didn't learn anything from Laurie Strode. Uh-huh. And he opens his eyes, cut to black. No Busta Rhymes song, which is a big disappointment. Sad.
01:31:54
Speaker
So zero Busta Rhymes song. I think that's what that's where the opening of this podcast came from. I need them to be like, put your knives where my eyes can see rates or put your knives in my eyes. I don't know. and I don't see. That's it. That's the Busta Rhymes song I can think of right now. yeah I know there's more that I like. But for all my so soldiers, they'd be flipping the birds. What's what's the one where he's all painted and glow in the dark? That's that's that's put your hands where my oh it's no break your neck. Oh, but he's not painted in that one. That's it. That's a good one, too. yeah You just do that song. Yeah. Break your neck. Break your neck right there. But I think it's him trying to get away from not get away from separate the actor. But he definitely did this because LL Cool J did Deep Blue Sea and he's like, I can do that. For sure. But he also look at Ice Cube. Like, I can make a career out of this. Look at Ice-T. I can make a career out of this. Ice Cube also did a song for Friday, though. You can't because you're not good. Yeah. But then he's like, are we there yet? But Ice Cube is also acting. I think he knew he's not a strong actor. He's like, I got to separate it. It doesn't make sense. No, it doesn't. Could have at least sold an album off it. Yeah. Get a fucking single. But that's the end of that movie. So we'll go around the horn for recommendations.
01:33:03
Speaker
No. No, it was terrible. I don't want to watch it. Not and you don't you don't want to elaborate on that? No. Yeah. like we You got more? No. All right. I'm also a big fucking no. I'm also a no. Unsurprisingly. I mean, there was nothing here. the The fucking parts of the movie we like were accidental laughs and the Halloween score, which I can just put on. Yeah, you i I have the score. yeah Sorry, not the score. The theme, the theme. I have it on vinyl. I have four John Carpenter albums. on We should have just fucking done an episode about that. Yeah, I would have done that. I would have liked that. I guess a half a caveat. I might add this to the silent playlist.
01:33:39
Speaker
OK, just having it on the background because it is Michael Myers. And you don't. You literally don't have to pay attention. You don't. Not even a little bit. Please don't. If you look up at the right time, you'll see a nipple. If you look up at the right time, you'll see case. i guess But and if you look up any other time, it's shitty fucking footage. If you look up at the right time, you'll see that weird dude's head getting crushed. Yeah. like So that's a half a caveat.
01:33:59
Speaker
I could put it on the silent playlist. Yeah. How about you? ah Big fat. No. Yeah. i Not even like a soft. I mean, if you're like a Michael Myers completionist and somehow haven't seen it, go ahead and watch it. But like you'd have to. You're a completionist. But don't like if you're trying to be a completionist and you're thinking I need to watch all these movies, just pretend this one never happened. Change your life. Just listen to us and you're good. Change your life. All I'm going to say is John Carpenter, the great John Carpenter, who invented this entire franchise made this movie made him cringe.
01:34:26
Speaker
Um, if you have something else to say about it, write us and bad movies, worse people at gmail dot.com. Sorry. the The guy that made ghost of Mars, the guy that made village of the dam, the guy that made John Carpenter's vampires cringed at this was wondering where you're going to get there. see Like, come on. But yeah, so that's that for that movie. Don't watch it or do. But we don't recommend watching it. Yeah, you do. You were at the boss. You do whatever you want. I'm not. Yeah, I'm not your mom. I might be.
01:34:52
Speaker
Not a mama. That's the end of our Halloween Horror Fest. No more spoopies. No. We will have spoopies. As you guys have figured out at this point, we spoopy whenever we want. Yeah. Where's my birthday present? Your birthday present is going to be next month's Patreon, which we can't tell anybody right now. The check is in the mail. That's not a clue for the Patreon. No, that's also a John Carpenter reference. Yeah.
01:35:16
Speaker
I'll watch that movie any time. Let's watch it right now. All right. What the fuck else am I doing? Next month is November and we're doing a special month. We're going to be featuring a local musician as our guest on every episode to help bring some attention to the Tucson music scene, which is a great scene. There's a bunch of great musicians, especially the brick box being there now, dude. I mean, that's a fucking terrific venue for hip hop and other music. But I'm putting an emphasis on the hip hop.
01:35:42
Speaker
Yeah. My friend Moshi is actually playing at Brickbox or just played at Brickbox last month. Oh, wow. OK. And the owner of Brickbox, Runt of Jiven Scientists, will be one of our guests next month. Oh, that is news to me. Beautiful. Yeah. ah but The first episode for the month will be featuring our friend Patch from Evasion, who provides our opening and closing music.
01:36:01
Speaker
And we are going to be discussing Street Fighter, starring Jean-Claude. Prediction? That's going to be a wild episode. I love me some Jean-Claude and some Street Fighter. And ah so tune in for that. Don't forget to check out our Patreon at patreon dot.com slash worst people. It's $3 a month. The episode for this month is David Cronenberg's The Fly from 1986. It's a great movie. It's probably a great episode. We haven't recorded it yet.
01:36:28
Speaker
Yeah, you're gonna hear this episode after that episode airs on patreon so go subscribe to the patreon and you can hear that That's how time works. Yeah, it's a flat circle, dude. It's a manmade construct anyway. Oh, and you know what? I haven't said this in a while. Rate and review because it helps people find us. Yeah. You know what? You're listening to this podcast on a podcast platform right now. So take your phone out, open it up, go to little stars and then just rate it there. Go to five preferably.
01:36:58
Speaker
But do whatever you feel. Yeah, do whatever you feel. Honest do that. But it's right there. You can do it. Like do it right now. Hold on. We'll wait for you. I won't. I'm going to keep on talking. All right. Well, thank you. Thank you for clicking five stars. We love you. I'm incapable of love, but I appreciate you so much. You look cocky. A cat. Yeah. It's different. You love your pussy. That love was forced upon me.
01:37:21
Speaker
I've been Derek. I'm still his wife. Oh, I'm Michael Myers. Good night and.
01:38:05
Speaker
talk in your microphone I'm talking in my microphone, but like like you're actually talking. It's like I'm talking no don't move you fucking idiot You have to hold the arm gesture look at my hands are out like I don't know what you're talking about Sometimes you got a point like you're making a fucking point ter You've never looked like that before if not once ever look like that It's not true. I did just now. I don't think so. Did you see it? No. All right. Case closed.