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Ep 127: DeepStar Six
42 Plays2 days ago
Our final 1989 flick of the month is directed by Friday the 13th's Sean S Cunningham and stars.... no one you've ever heard of. Produced quickly and on a small budget to beat the other two films to the box office, this one is very similar to LEVIATHAN, but without any of the special effects talent or acting chops. This time we have a team of Navy members trying to install underwater missiles that find themselves in a mystery involving a lost Russian ship and running afoul of a massive creature.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Bad Movies, Worst People' Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to, what the fuck? Welcome back to Drownuary. And this week, you have to route BZN17 to RTX 56. I'm Derek. I'm Winnie. I'm Jack. And this is Bad Movies. Worst People. The timing is impeccable.
Studio Dynamics and Fashion Humor
00:00:49
Speaker
I do things intentionally sometimes, but that was not. That's better if it's not intentional. Welcome, Brit. Welcome. Sounds like she didn't decompress. She got a little bubble in that system. I feel better, though. We are back in studio today. Yeah, we are. It's good to have you back. We're doing it in people. We're doing it in people? We are coming from inside people.
00:01:17
Speaker
I love that you're wearing this shirt. We got you for a life day or the oh, there's ah this little multicolored cat sweater that I love so much. Oh, it looks so good on your hooded cardigan. footage cardan yeah it's a big card ah love it's like, are you a boomer or are you Gen Z? You don't know. I look like legit could be a mumble rapper when I
Mumble Rap and Rapper Names
00:01:37
Speaker
have my braids in. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's just me drunk trying to rap. That's how mumbo rap came about. Just somebody stuck on one phrase, turn a little fridge, turn a little fridge, turn a little fridge, turn a little fridge light on. So what's your mumbo rap name then?
00:01:53
Speaker
Mmm. Cracker Jack. Big Red. Cracker Jacka. Cracker Jacka.
Introduction to 'Deep Star Six'
00:02:00
Speaker
This week we are continuing Drownuary with more water-based tragedies in 1989's Leviathan. It's all 89. All of its 89. It's all 89. At least this... or no damn it i said leviathan 1989's deep star six well we we we will get to 89 leviathan which is what you're confused about yeah no we already did it for the people that was last week but we're recording out of order because we're madmen yes Derek does not like himself
00:02:28
Speaker
We just rearranged our living room, and all of my movies are in boxes, so my beautiful 4K of Leviathan is in a box somewhere. The movie that deserves 4K? Yeah. Yeah, I thought so. You haven't seen it, have you? You haven't seen it, have you? That's awesome. Is it? Directed by George P. Cosmatos. Okay, well, we'll talk about it when we get there. That is not awesome. They already know this. The listeners know this. They remember everything I said. They don't tune out.
00:02:52
Speaker
yeah so I don't know what you're talking about. But this one came out in 1989 as the same year as Leviathan and the abyss.
00:03:04
Speaker
So, yeah, most of the movies we did this month. hu The Abyss, by the way, is on our Patreon, patreon dot.com slash worst people. It deserves to be. It does. It's such a good movie. So for the people who want to know up front, you can. This movie is not free streaming anywhere right now, but it's three fifty nine to rent on Amazon or Apple. Oh, it's three fifty nine on Amazon for on Apple oh because they need that extra money. Yep. And apparently you can't buy it on Amazon from what I could find, but you can buy it on Apple for 13.
00:03:32
Speaker
Oh, that's crazy. Like I only looked at just watch. I didn't actually check the Amazon app, so it could be wrong. But
Cast Breakdown and Film Association
00:03:40
Speaker
just watch told me that I like that. Just watch. But three fifty nine. You can watch it.
00:03:47
Speaker
So you could knock on my door. I didn't recommend anything. I just said you can watch it. Yeah. ah This is directed by Sean S. Cunningham, who we just had on the show in December. Well, because he directed Friday the 13th, the original. And the guy that did the music for this also did the music for Friday, 13th, Harry Manfredini. OK, I like that last name, Manfredini.
00:04:14
Speaker
And Jack was loving this guy on Friday the 13th. Is that like a man friend? Man friend. Eenie. Man friend. Like a little version of it. That's Edel. You were loving this guy on Friday the 13th. Yeah, super synthy. Yeah, not on this. Here is flat, dude. I mean, he's coming in just for a paycheck on this. He's trying to do like a Jerry Goldsmith or Alan Silvestri. And he's just kind of like. It's it just feels mailed in. Yeah.
00:04:40
Speaker
um And it was written by two guys, Lewis Abernathy and Jeff Miller, ah who both of whom wrote almost nothing. Lewis Abernathy wrote Terminal Invasion, which I've mentioned before, because Sean S. Cunningham also directed that. Is that the sequel to the terminal with Tom Hanks? He comes back with an AK-47. Yeah. And just goes ham on the airport. He comes back from her ketchup packets. think get You took away my ketchup packet. No ketchup packets in my home country of wherever the fuck is Slavia.
00:05:08
Speaker
Oh, God, what was it? Is it made up or real? I think it's made up. Krakosha. Krakosha. Krakosha. But wasn't it like based on a true story? Didn't like something. I think it was based on a true-ish story. Yeah, true-ish sounds right.
00:05:23
Speaker
Uh, but yeah, he wrote that. It's a alien invasion movie with Bruce Campbell. I still haven't watched it, but it's directed by Sean S. Cunningham. So I'll watch it one day. 89. No, a busy year for the Cunningham 90 something. I think. All right. I'll check that out with you. And then the other guy, Jeff
Production Insights and Financial Speculations
00:05:40
Speaker
Miller wrote house four.
00:05:41
Speaker
Ooh, we've talked about the repossession by the way. We've talked about the house franchise on this podcast before. We have not done any of them. House one is kind of an 80s horror esque. House two is slapstick boob comedy, probably without boobs, though. Yeah, I don't think there's any boobs. And then house three is something completely different from that.
00:06:04
Speaker
It's, it's one of those movies that's entirely unrelated and someone just slapped house on it. Exactly. But it's my favorite one because it has Lance Henriksen and Brian James. And then house four is house four is actually house three. And it's the sister of the guy from the first one. I think yeah it was all right. So my suggestion is to watch house two and then watch house three and ignore everything else.
00:06:28
Speaker
I bet you he's going to make us two separate movies, though. Of course, he probably has him on 4K. No. Ooh. Arrow video. Someone's giving you a birthday present. Arrow video put out a box out of all the house movies, but it was before I'd seen them and I was like, well, I've never seen this. I'm not buying a box out of four movies I haven't seen before. Says the guy says the guy with the Ingrid Bergman box set that's got 39 movies and it one of which I've seen before, but it's fun.
00:06:51
Speaker
And I want to mention real quick, because this movie starts with the Carole Co logo. I don't know if you guys recognize this logo, the C with the laser lines. It's kind of like Canon, but Carole Co did a bunch of movies from the 80s and beyond, but mostly the 80s and beyond. And we've had we've done movies from them before because they did um they produced all three of the first Rambo's. Oh, they produced Total Recall Terminator two, not one cliffhanger and Universal Soldier. So this is a so of ah very well-known logo in my brain. It should be. Yeah. so As soon as it popped up, I was like, and it's one of those it's a C, so I see it. And I'm like, can it? No. Honestly, though, before this podcast, I don't think I ever gave a shit about production that much. Guess what? I still don't. you I know you don't.
00:07:33
Speaker
But like now I'm starting to get it. where like I told this story recently. You guys were over with the bleeps and some other people and I just put on a random movie. Well, I knew what it was, but I put on a movie when no one was looking and it popped up and Derek's like, what is this? And the Canon logo popped up. He goes, oh my God, I love it.
00:07:49
Speaker
and Like that's that's now in my brain where I'm like, oh I know that logo maybe not the big boys but a cannon and this one I'm gonna remember now. Yeah, like knowing I know what I meant for I think they did red heat also, so they're not always great, but they still put out it's Schlocky 80 shit Yeah, so for those listening it ended up being masters of the universe was the movie Yeah. As soon as Dolph Longer's name came up, you were like, oh, I know what this is. Yeah. Yes. I because even if it's a terrible Canon movie, I'm probably going to have a good time for sure. Now, Canon did do non action shit, but I knew that's not what you put on. oh You're going to have a good time. Canon dipped their toes into dramas and like children's films and some other stuff. But yeah quickly took them out. I knew that's not what Jack was putting on. That's why. No, he just. Yeah, he knows me and I know my audience.
00:08:36
Speaker
You do know your audience. Let's watch Good Will Hunting after a night of drinking. So let's play the Did This Movie Make Any Money game. Ooh. So I'll give you the budget. Dibs. No. So what was the budget? The budget was eight million dollars. I'm going to say they made six. Made six million. I'll give you guys a hint. No. Technically, there was a profit. Oh. Because of worldwide. So it made. OK. It made one million domestic.
00:09:06
Speaker
I don't know. I didn't write down domestic. I think it might have only had one number from what I could find. So I'll give it. I'll give it eight point five million. OK, so it's got to be over eight over eight. And it was eight million period. Like yeah it wasn't eight point two now eight million. All right. So I'll go. I'll go. Fuck it. I'll say nine eight point.
00:09:27
Speaker
One. What? We both went over. What a shame. This movie made $100,000. What was their advertising? Probably nothing. This movie was rushed. $8.1, Bob. Sean Cunningham started developing this in 87 with the express purpose of being the first to release on the slate of underwater sci-fi action films that were coming out in 1989.
Underwater Filming Techniques
00:09:50
Speaker
OK. Because they knew things like the abyss and Leviathan were in pre-production. So basically his idea was let's do that too, but do it faster. Yeah. And it shows. Yeah, it shows. Because we did a lot of what did you call it? wet Wet for dry. Yeah. Or dry for wet dry for wet in this case. Yeah. Dry for wet. Which means.
00:10:11
Speaker
Nobody's actually underwater most of the time. I mean, there were two shots, I think, where people were actually underwater. But um it's it's the thing that James Cameron talked about. you I think I mentioned it on the obbyss episode if you listen to that. But he thought it it looks like shit because what you do is you'll use like slow motion. You'll put smoke around. You'll put certain lighting effects. So it looks like people are underwater. Right. But they're not.
00:10:37
Speaker
It doesn't look like that. And most of the time, the I think that two times we see a people in water, they are underwater, but it's the ships and the everything else. It's the bulldozer for the most part. Well, because like in in the abyss, they had the two tanks. There was the one that the people were in and there was a smaller one. They did the miniatures and for the special effects.
00:10:54
Speaker
Well, in the abyss, they tried to drown at Harris. They were going for realism. Yeah. Well, I mean, James Cameron tried to drown himself. Yeah. But in a rat this one for all the underwater effects, they did the miniatures and then they did the wet drive for wet. So it's, you know, it's cheaper. but hey And safer.
Kane Hodder's Role and Character Introductions
00:11:10
Speaker
And I have another fun fact that ties this to Friday, the 13th, not the original, but the series, the stunt coordinator on this movie was one, Mr. Kane hotter.
00:11:20
Speaker
Oh, wow. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Who, if you don't know that name, is a big tall drink of Jason. Yes, he is. What was that? Carrie and Jason? That's the one he burst through the fucking door or they jumped through a winm window like never in my life did I think I'd ever see Jason in the window. And I can't think right now.
00:11:40
Speaker
He didn't do them all, but he's the one that's most associated with it. And I think seven might have been his first one. And it was like seven, eight, nine. Oh, OK. Something like that he started that way. But he's he did it more than anybody else as far as and he probably hit the cons. Yeah, which is why he's so fucking beloved. Yeah, I think so. And he's still a smart dude. No, like, no, that's your that's your fucking cow. that He still does shit like that. He did. ah There was a movie that came out 2023, 24 or something like that. It was like some little whatever. It was like a throwback slasher thing.
00:12:10
Speaker
called Kill Her Goats, which I have not watched, but it's the same idea. It's a big guy that kills people. And wait, there's big selling point was killer goats or kill her kill her goats. OK. And I watched the trailer. That's not just me, right? Yeah, I watched the trailer. Didn't see anything. Didn't see a goat. But I saw a lot of mostly naked women. Oh, leave it that next time. I would have made less jokes. But their selling point for that movie was Kane Hodder in Kill Her Goats and then wet boobs or like wet t-shirts, short pants, you know, that was the selling thing. It was like, Kane Hodder, mostly naked women, go. We've got Kane Hodder, we've got tits, we've got ass. You know, eventually we've got Kane Hodder. So this movie doesn't star anybody huge.
00:12:55
Speaker
No, not really. But it does star people that someone may know. I mean, there's at least one guy that all of us knew right away. Well, we and it just being who we are as these movie watchers, we can pick out and also TV watchers, because I think all three of us kind of have.
00:13:09
Speaker
different shows like we have we have a lot of the same ones but like there's shit your wife watches that we don't end and then also with you and I watching shit that each other don't yeah so it's nice for like oh that's the girl from Charmed oh that's the guy from this oh that's the girl from this you know we kind of have our bases covered outside of sports Well, the star of the movie is from a show that I don't think any of us have ever seen. But at least you and I, Jack, know of its existence. Whitney had no idea. Oh, I know the cover. No, no, no. Not her. The main guy. I said he is. yeah That's what I know. I heard he. Sorry. Yeah. The main guy. It's your fault for liking both Whitney. Take a fucking side. I don't like both. I like all. Stop being greedy. No.
00:13:50
Speaker
But the guy's name is Gregory Evigan, perhaps, and he was BJ... Sorry, his name was Greg Evigan, perhaps. eganda I don't know. But he was BJ McKay from BJ and the Bear, which is a show about a man and his monkey.
00:14:10
Speaker
I'm trying to get a bear. Yes, he had a chimpanzee named bear and he was a trucker named BJ. Don't look too far into it. Well, do you see how none of us flinched here? We've been on the show too long. That would have normally been something I was like, Derek, what are you saying to me? Thanks. So naturally now. And it listens to a trucker named BJ with ah a monkey named Bear. Yeah, go on. And there's another relation to our new Patreon segment, Latch Key Vids, tangentially.
00:14:39
Speaker
The the captain is played by a guy named Torian Black, who was one of the stars. He was in every episode of Hill Street Blues, which is connected to what Steve Bochco produced and wrote that show, which is the guy that made Cop Rock.
00:14:57
Speaker
I mean, he made so many fucking Hill Street Blues was the big thing that got NBC to be like they had a deal that said we'll produce your next 12 shows. Yeah, we watched like that. Jack and I started watching an interview with Steve Bocco about we will bleep wasn't into it. Yeah. So we turned it off. But um and he was basically like, I don't know. I made Hill Street Blues and they were like, what do you got? And he's went to somebody. Oh, no, they were going to do Hill Street Blues. The musical like on stage ah and some Broadway producer was like, fucking no, that'll never work. i think Kind of right so then he went to a TV producer and but just they were like yeah, we'll do that We'll do we'll do Hill Street Blues on Broadway on TV What hotness do you think like this guy was so fucking hot there like your next 12 shows no matter what you put on paper We'll produce yeah, we love you. That's crazy. That's insane. That's that's good
00:15:47
Speaker
Like you're doing all right. So this starts with our two main characters, Collins and McBride, who I will from here on out refer to as BJ. Yep. Collins is played by Nancy Everhard. Great name.
Character Dynamics and Plot Humour
00:16:00
Speaker
She was she was in a show called Everwood. And I can't stop thinking about Nancy Everhard and the show Everwood. And I usually write down episodes. I didn't in this case, but she was on Charmed, the original. OK. And she was in Renegade. Oh, talking about some show coverage here, enticing both of us. And she was on The Pretender, which we've talked about a lot. Yeah, we have. Oh, she's an older doctor lady.
00:16:26
Speaker
I mean, that's Collins was the front years after this. Yeah, the the other spoilers. She's pregnant. So she's definitely going to die. I mean, did you get an underwater sub with this many sexy people? There's going to be fucking. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, so they are underwater people.
00:16:48
Speaker
that to prefer nomenclature andlanians do and they have this underwater base called deep star six whoop hes at it and i don't know exactly they're putting in missiles okay for the navy one of the guys talks about he's just doing this until the oil picks back up so i think that's what this is it's an oil rig first and foremost, but they are getting contracted, ah contracted, not contracted, contracted by the Navy or military of sorts to put these underwater missiles, because 89, we gotta fucking bomb Russia. Yeah, we do. We need to make sure we bomb Russia. and they But we're working with our Russians? Just one, he defected. Okay. He's telling us where to hit. He tells us where the good schools are. Hey, ask America about World War II. Operation Paperclip.
00:17:34
Speaker
I'll ask Jack. Professor von Braun. But Operation Paperclip is specifically, yeah you are Nazis and we're gonna forgive your war crimes if you can help us do stuff as Americans. Because the Nazis were good at rockets.
00:17:47
Speaker
I said this many times, we'll move on from Nazis, I promise. probably this is what probably not This is what happens when you give like science-hungry people no limits. And I'm not saying everybody, by the way, but there are certain people that are like, well, I'd like to... say We know more about hypothermia because of the fucking stupid Nazi experiments than we ever did. And that's ah that's one fucking microchasm of it.
00:18:08
Speaker
So I mean, when you have somebody that's very hungry for knowledge and then you have somebody like Hitler going, I don't fucking care if you do human experiments like I'll tell you who to do it on. Yeah, like see if you can put eight legs on a dude. They were trying to get women impregnated with different fucking animal semen. Yeah.
00:18:25
Speaker
Hitler wanted bear people. Hitler wanted bull people. Oh, so it's like Jurassic World. Yes. Where they were getting they were making the velociraptors into weapons. It always comes back to Hitler. Moving on from Nazis. So Chris Pratt is kind of like Hitler is what you're saying. but No, he was against it.
00:18:43
Speaker
He was training, he was training those fucking velociraptors. He was training the little raptors. Okay,'Onofrio is more yeah Hitler. Yes. Because he's the one who was doing the fighting velociraptors. You know what, we'll get to that movie. He's more like Goring.
00:19:00
Speaker
yeah Moving on we meet ah i saw that again without a bubble in your throat. No ro and love middle style love the room Remember very i not i forgot to do the helium compressor thing and now I talk like this the whole time I'm underwater. Oh my god There's a very British man. Did you see the middle? This guy, Van Gelder. And it was funny because this movie is not good at giving you character names. No. I got character names and actors from IMDB before we watched. But we were trying to all three of us like to Derek, that's this person.
00:19:34
Speaker
And I was sitting there and I was like, I still don't know who this old guy in charge of everyone is. And then I was like, oh, you know what? I do know because I look at the names. and I saw Van Gelder because this guy is how do you put it, Jack? He's got the the super colonial. Yeah. and Imperialist fucking British, like South African British. Yeah.
00:19:51
Speaker
It is a conquering tone. But almost Scottish at the same time. Later it's become Scottish. I think he's slipping in and out of his own accent. He ends up being less of a cunt than I thought he'd be. Marius Wires. Marius Wires? Is that Scottish? Is that Welsh? Welsh? No, that's a fucking DJ Coachella.
00:20:11
Speaker
That is, Marius Wires has the greatest set design you've ever seen. It's just a bunch of marionettes. He goes by Marius Net. Marius. Marius Wires. But this guy was in God damn. Again, we were we were rearranging our house today. We were rearranging our living room today and I have dust all up in my shit. And now I'm just like sniffles and phlegm. I'm fine.
00:20:37
Speaker
He's got dust up in his shit. ah But he's in the gods must be crazy. And he was in blood diamond, which once I saw that, I was like, oh, yeah, this is definitely the British guy. Told you. Told you he was imperialist as fuck. But basically like so.
00:20:54
Speaker
ah Collins. The doctor lady question mark. We will call her Connie. I don't think I. Oh, yeah, I got her name. It comes up. Oh, Diane Norris is the character. Cindy Pickett is the actress and Connie is her character from Son-in-law and Kate is her character from Ferris Bueller's Day. off So we're going to call her Connie Connie from from here on out.
00:21:18
Speaker
But I think it's Connie Collins and Scapelli, Scapelli, who is a young Asian woman. So you explain that name to me. But but they're they're trying to tell him, like, hey, we have to do these sounding like.
00:21:35
Speaker
ah Seismograph things to figure out whatever whatever and he's like nope We're gonna start excavating go and they're like, but there's a big cavern and it might kill us and he's like i don't have time for this she on it deadline Yeah, she's gonna start that way though. She's like, this is a fucking expect like a scientific ah Discovery I need to research this yada yada. and He's like no and he's like well also it could kill us if you're worried if you're not worried about like the science of it all and And his thing, too, is he's like, hey, you've seen one cavern, you've seen them all. And I'm like, I don't think you know how ecosystems work. i do Have you ever been to Mount Everest? No, but I have been to a mountain before, so I'm pretty sure
Nostalgia and Technological Depiction
00:22:10
Speaker
I've seen it. I could climb it. You've seen and you've seen one hill, you've seen every mountain. What about King of the Hill, man? Oh, dog gone to heck, that boy said he's seen us.
00:22:20
Speaker
He said one hill's like another. And we meet Snyder, who's played by Miguel Ferrer, who is the most recognizable person. Second, well, he's tied with the guy who dies very quickly and has almost no lines. Yeah. Who I will just refer to as Spider-Man's landlord until I get to his name here. But we all had something different for this guy. You had Robocop. Robocop. I liked Blank Check. Blank Check. And then mine was ah Hot Shots Part 2.
00:22:47
Speaker
And also, you I said RoboCop, you said Hashash Part 2. She was trying to remember, and I was like, ah Twin Peaks, Firewalk with me. You guys were like, hmm. I was like, okay, Twin Peaks, the return. No one cared. Blank Jack, yeah. Blank Jack, love it.
00:23:05
Speaker
There is a thing between him and one of these other dudes. Hodges, I think, is what I determined this character was. I want to say Hodges is the one with the beard, no mustache. Yeah, I think that's Hodges, because the other guy played fat top. Are you talking about this feller here just trying to talk like that? Yep, it doesn't look like it. That guy right there, they call me McBride. Because there's Hodges. No, McBride's the bearded woman with the full mustache. Who am I? Yeah, McBride is BJ, low budget Chris Pratt.
00:23:32
Speaker
Oh, well, I'm Hodges. But I think because like Hodges and Osborne are the two who die first. And they're also I was like, they're together. So it doesn't really matter. I'm going to send my son all this money I make on this oil rig. And maybe one day he can open a farm. What kind of farm? Oh, oh, oh, oh. ah there's a thing with Hodges talking to Miguel Ferrer when they first see him. And he's like, hey, I've got something queued up on your video player in your in your room or whatever. Is it Miss September? And.
00:24:01
Speaker
So these guys are jerking off in the same room at different times? Is it hot? Yeah. Is it wet? Yeah. Is it ripe? Yeah. Yeah. oh oh Hey, Jack, just so you know, I've got this really sweet porn I put in your DVD player. It's on the best scene because I only made it halfway through. Hey, also, I warmed up your bed. There is a huge butt imprint and it's real hot and sweaty from when I was cranking it in your bed all day. Just don't put your hand to the left about one and a half feet. I shot. You don't have a blacklight, do you?
00:24:32
Speaker
Okay, thank God because it is gonna be a mess. It's like a Spencer's gifts in here. You boys are gross. Dude, you'd be just as disgusting if yours went everywhere. But this guy hodges. Most porns. This guy hodges.
00:24:53
Speaker
This guy Hodges is played by a guy named Tom Bray, who is in Prince of Darkness, which is a great John Carpenter movie. It just doesn't sound like you're done speaking. tomrey tombbra tom bra ginger Tom Bray. Tom Tom Bray, Tom Brady. No, in this they, Tom Brady? No, in this they inflate things. They don't deflate them. This harpoon actually takes a bunch of air out of the ball.
00:25:19
Speaker
But I just want to mention it because Derek made a sports reference just so you fucking guys know. I've seen South Park. It's always that or baseball. Yeah, it's always Trey Parker and Matt Stone. They are why I know what sports are. You know what happened? Did you learn that from Howard Cosell? No, Trey Parker. Howard Cosell, yeah. But I want to mention it because this guy, Tom Bray,
00:25:43
Speaker
D shows up in House three. And then the other guy, Osborne, who's played by a guy named Ron Carroll,
Dramatic Scenes and Plot Impact
00:25:50
Speaker
he was in Friday the 13th as the fat cop. But he was also in House and House two as policemen and deputy, respectively. So we've got all four of them covered. Yeah. Yeah. So in this movie, we've got all four House movies covered. Wow. Damn. Gotcha. But yeah same company producing a maybe.
00:26:09
Speaker
uh probably wouldn't surprise me because like sometimes they do that like i like this guy in this movie he works for cheap and he knows how to keep his mouth shut and do his job he doesn't mind if we have like craft services fruity pebbles and no milk i think it also comes down to we mentioned how nobody knows who any of these people are i mean mcgill frere had been in robocop before this Yeah, but as barely. Yeah, I was going to say very small role. He's just a very recognizable guy. He is. And these other guys, I mean, like I said, he was fat cop. He was one of these guys are just guys that are going to be in your they'll be in your eight million dollar movie for sure. Like they they don't need a trailer. Yeah.
00:26:45
Speaker
Um, and then we meet Scarpelli, not Scuppelly, I said it wrong. No, we said Scuppelli because of Mario Brothers. Yeah, i is that's why I said Scuppelli too, yeah because I can't remember anything. It is Scarpelli, but I don't think we're going to call her that from here on out. Her name is Nia Peoples. Or, as I said, Pia Neebles. Pia Neebles. Pia Neepoels. Well, because Pia is like, that's not a real name. Oh, we've done Voyage of the Rock. It sure is. And Neepoels is definitely a last name. And in the future, we'll see Pia Zadora again. o what we Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Oh, God, yes. Is that a Christmastime movie? Oh, God, yes. OK.
00:27:20
Speaker
one of these days i just got it on blu-ray of course she did we had a year but she was in uh she was on a lot of fame the show fame it's the high school yeah the high school yeah i know it the precursor to glee yeah yeah And Walker, Texas Ranger and then a bunch of soap operas. Walker told me I had AIDS. That's fucked up. Have you seen that clip? It's Haley Joe Osman as a like a young actor. And he's just like it's just him staring. He's like Walker told me I have AIDS. It's so awesome.
00:27:56
Speaker
i'll i'll We'll sew it to you. Okay. Arizona Beer House. 33 taps. 800 plus cans in bottles. You can do it for here. You can do it to go. You can do whatever you want. Except that. That's right. Arizona Beer House at 150 South Cove in Tucson, Arizona. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, and every other day of the week. Open 11 a.m. to midnight. We're going to save the whole can, but you're only going to need the tip. I need the tip.
00:28:22
Speaker
hey guys i don't want to sound needy here i'm needy but we have a patreon at patreon dot com slash first people And it only costs $3 a month. $3 a month is nothing. And I know times are hard right now. Real hard for me. Inflation's up. You can't afford your groceries. Can't eat. But you can't afford $3 a month if you love us. Give us $3. Super love us. Please love us. we're not We're not begging. I'm begging. We're not pleading. I'm pleading. We're not down on our knees. Oh, boy. I mean. My knees hurt. They've been on the oven for so long. But we do kind of need the money. I need the money, Baden. We need to
00:28:59
Speaker
We need to do equipment. We need to do remote podcasts for all of you. I wouldn't mind eating. We need to have video. I wouldn't mind eating. ah We need more drinks. Food sounds good. So please check out patreon dot.com slash worst people. Please check us out. You get a bonus episode every month and we're going to have more content coming for you. I'll send you pictures. ah Thank you guys. Thank you so much. Please give me patreon dot.com. I'm being held hostage here. Slash worst people. I don't think all of you out of here. They're going to kill me.
00:29:28
Speaker
He's like, fuck this cavern, destroy it so we can put the missiles in. They're like, it's awfully deep. It might cause some problems. He's like, there's no possible way it could cause problems. All these people showed up with cameras. There's no possible way that blowing this cavern up is going to cause a problem. yeah So they go to destroy it. Oh, I do want to mention real quick. It's a stupid little thing, and it's just kind of showing, like, I guess the chemistry of the group or whatever, because it has no purpose. ah This guy, Richardson, the one from Seinfeld, you were talking about. Yes, plays McCoy or play by McCoy. He is named. Matt McCoy is his name. So he's also ah I knew him as a as a Ute. ah We had Police Academy, seven, six. Is it six? City Under Siege is number six.
00:30:13
Speaker
He plays, I guess, replacing Gutenberg, really, is a different character. But yeah, he plays Lloyd Braun, the second iteration of him on Seinfeld, once he gets done with his mental breakdown.
Character Relationships and Development
00:30:25
Speaker
I also saw that he's in he's in Silicon Valley, and he's in that movie, National Security. I would be shocked if he has under 246 roles.
00:30:53
Speaker
Sorry to make you work more. No, I took these notes like two weeks ago. Yeah. Matt McCoy, I hit filmography and he is at 134. Oh, yes. National Security was Martin Lawrence, Steve Zahn, Bill Dukes in there. Bill Dukes acted with Steve Zahn and I didn't know about it. You couldn't talk about it more yin and yang.
00:31:16
Speaker
Well, we'll do it. It's from 2003. It's not good. It has an 11 percent on rotten tomatoes, but a four point six out of five on Amazon. So who knows what these ratings are doing. Bill Dukes is a very terrifying black dude from Predator that keeps dry shaving his face with that razor. Oh, the razor of the knife.
00:31:34
Speaker
Razor, like he has just he just has like a yellow disposable bic and just keeps dragging it across his sweat face. He's a black dude that's not Carl Weathers. Yeah, that's it. He also directed the movie Deep Cover, which is a fucking amazing movie. He's a terrifying human being. But I'm concerned because I pulled up national security to double check because I thought it was Martin Lawrence, but I couldn't remember. I was like, is that the one with Robert De Niro? And no, that's Midnight Run. Anyway, when I pulled it up on Google, I think came up with the top safe search off blur or filter.
00:32:03
Speaker
All I typed was national security. Uh-oh. What do I need to blur? You are on a watch list, my friend. I'm gonna go to images. No, don't do it. We're gonna get swatted so fucking hard right now. Yeah, we are. No, they're just like NSA logos and pictures from the movie National Security. I don't know why I have to blur anything. I'm gonna click blur and see what gets blurred.
00:32:21
Speaker
This is just becoming the Derek Google's things podcast. Yeah. No shit. We video for this crap. Nothing. Nothing is blurred. I don't pray caller. I guess they're just like oh There's something that's blurred their flags at the military cemetery OK, I don't. OK. Anyway, Google's done. Yeah, that's an odd one. Yeah, I'm sure if it was like national normal security and then another word. So yeah, I didn't even think about it. I didn't put like national security movie. I just put national security. Not even thinking that now I'm on a list on a watch list. I've been on some. yeah You definitely have. You read the anarchist cookbook, you salty dog. Yeah, that was at my parents house. They're on. Yeah, they can't track that.
00:33:06
Speaker
They're on a watch list now. they They know. They know you moved out, dude. Do they? Because they keep sending them mail saying, hey, Derek, you want to sell your house? my My parents keep getting letters in my name asking if they if the person can buy the house that oh my parents have owned since before I was born. That's weird. It's 1981. It's weird.
00:33:28
Speaker
but Yeah, so destroy don't just destroy the cavern fucking British guys like shut the fuck up and do it. Oh, I'ma do it in it That's not the imperialist one, but that's what I got. That's we're doing cockney more than anything yeah i mean cogneys Oh, but I was gonna mention the garbage disposal thing Richardson. That's why I brought it this that's why all this happened Oh, yeah, yeah Richardson Matt McCoy The Garbage Disposal is fucked up. It's one of the few laughs in this movie they wanted me to have. Yeah. Because he's like, it's Pia Neepoels sitting there and he's like, here, give me your pen and I'll get this thing unstuck. She's like, no, fuck you. And he's like, I'll give it right back. Sticks in the Garbage Disposal and shit. And like, it shreds the fucking shit out of the pen. But it fixes the...
00:34:07
Speaker
you preach disspoal don't it fixes the disposal. And he gives it back to her. I'll shred it. And she's like, what's wrong with your pen? He's like, well, nothing. I don't go around sticking it in garbage disposal. She was pretty funny. It was yeah that's flirtatious, too.
00:34:22
Speaker
ah Speaking of flirtatious, we go to Pia Nipple's shower scene. Is this after her hard workout scene? Yeah. Like and an unnecessary, but I mean, I find her very attractive, so I'm not mad at it. but as She's blowing off steam because the Van Gogh guy is like, no, you do what I say. Don't do your job.
00:34:41
Speaker
His name is Van Buren, act like you did there. Mario Van Peebles. No, I get what you're saying. It's just like a weird thing where it's just a tight shot in her delightfully sweaty belly and just like right behind her doing this rowing machine thing and it's just like, that's cool.
00:34:56
Speaker
She's like, fuck you. Sean is cutting him as a thing for chicks who are working out or like buff. Yeah. Because it's like the stomach, which is a thing like I get it because it's like it's a stomach and the chest. I'm going to see all that. Come on. But then it then it goes to the shoulders and it's just like, look at these shoulders. And I'm like getting flashbacks of the big hit. No. No substitute. No. What's her name? God damn it. I can't think today. The very famous person who is in Star Wars and played a queen, Cindy Rothrock.
00:35:25
Speaker
Natalie Portman, Natalie Portman in Thor Love and Thunder. Yeah. Getting hard flashbacks of that because that those still started coming out and I was like, do I like buff chicks? Yeah. Well, so I never thought I did. And I just think I just discovered something. I mean, rewatching all these American gladiators episodes. I'm like, oh, OK. She could crush me with those guys. I'm a big guy. I want someone who can throw me. Yeah, yeah i'm I'm six to 250. If you can pick me up and throw me, we're having a good time.
00:35:55
Speaker
But she's in there showering and the thing shuts off because they have X amount of water rations, which makes sense. I feel like the girl with long hair should get like an extra 30 seconds. I agree. That's me. And Richardson comes in and he's like, maybe you could convince someone to give you their key card. And I was like, oh, this guy's trying to get sex for water. Not realizing that clearly they're already. You've been fucking. Yeah. yep And later it comes up because she's like, I've been keeping you on this diet and you're just going to throw it away for a greasy hamburger. he's like i So she's been not only fucking, but like.
00:36:25
Speaker
Have some celery, dude. I care about you. Yeah. So that's our love language. food Well, if she wants me to eat celery, she should put it next to hot wings. That's what I do. And then I'll look at it. I yeah drag it across the sauce i had at least three of those eight celery steaks. You eat the carrots. Carrots are better. Not for you. It's fine. Carrots are much better cooked. Celery is much better raw.
00:36:54
Speaker
That's just how it goes. Celery is not good either way, but it's not bad. It's just nothing. No, it's something. yeah yeah Obviously, I'm gonna make you ants in a log next time. had antstle ah You know, I was once eight also. I was, and I skipped that one.
00:37:10
Speaker
But so, yeah, we get fire in the hole. They're blowing up this cavern and the whole ah STD, isn't it? ah You move. That's far enough. You guys backed up far enough. Yeah, they back up like four feet off the ledge of this thing. They're like, it'll be fine. I was worried about debris, like just like, I mean, you're blowing up coral and and yeah and magma rock, like, or what do you call volcano rock? Like this is going to be some shrapnel. I know you're in a fucking submarine bulldozer and that's a thing that just is a thing. Like I know you're in a submarine bulldozer, but come on. Are you wasting fuel while backing up more?
00:37:39
Speaker
Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. Come on. Well, and she told them it was a huge cavern. Is there an ocean ocean or ocean ocean? Yeah, it's just called Oceania. Ocean. Ocean. oceanna Underwater Oceania. No, government doesn't exist underwater. That's where they're putting missiles down there. Holy shit. It's a free for all. Yeah, it's what is it? International waters. There's no sanction downstairs.
00:38:06
Speaker
They should be say that again. There's no sanction downstairs. um Just but they don't back up enough. The cavern was big, like she said. So the whole thing, he's like, the sea floor is giving way. And I'm like, no, it's the giant cavern that the woman told you not to blow up. Yeah. But she's not only a woman, she's also not white. So no one listens. to She is a hot, non-white woman.
00:38:26
Speaker
Yeah, like the only thing that she's supposed to be good for is masturbating to. Yeah, she's writing. She's got these big ass eighties glasses. Oh, she's wearing and I'm like, she's all right. So she's a smoke show all the way through with the glasses on that little nerd bun up. Yeah, please. Yeah, it's not even a kink unlocked. It's a kink I knew. Yeah, no, no, no. I'm like exploited fresh kink satisfied. Yes. Cheers to that. brother Cheers. I didn't get to tell you. I told Whitney, I got a phone call from Lady Gary Busey the other day.
00:38:58
Speaker
Yes, again. I was at work. Phone rang. Picked it up. She goes, I think I have the wrong number. Sorry. It hangs up. And I was just like, what? Call back. Call back right now. What do you know about chickens and their teeth? Did you happen to look at the name on the caller ID? There was no name. Yeah, it said G Busey. It's a girl in a gale. Gail, that's a woman's name. garline that's not a real I know I was blanking on G female names. Jesus Christ. Geez and race. Georgia? That's a state. That's also also a name. Okay. Is that who Ray Charles is singing about? Gina, Jina, Georgia, Jennifer. Yeah. I'm trying to say you got a real soft face.
00:39:44
Speaker
But yeah so the thing collapses and they get away without falling in, which we find out is pointless later because this bulldozer turns into a submarine and they could have just detached detached from the. But we also find out that Garibaldi is a fucking stickler for, well, money. Yeah, because they lose this remote drone and they're freaking out about it, let alone this fucking remote tank treads. Yeah, I guess they probably have other drones. They probably don't have other tanks, right? Yeah.
00:40:14
Speaker
But they lost the yeah, because they lost the remote and they were going to get in trouble for that. Yeah, they send it in. And this is what we see. Like kind of the it's a cool looking underwater shot of like this otherworldly kind of places. Like you see the the magma mad and you see like like tights and stalagmites. So I don't have to know the difference and all kinds of stuff going on. And it it looks pretty cool. I mean, it looks cheap as fuck, but it looks cool.
00:40:38
Speaker
Yeah, no, no, it's fine for an eight million dollar movie. And I am going to say while this movie isn't is definitely not the best one we did this month, it's probably the worst one we've done this month. I felt the Sean S. Cunningham Friday, the 13th horror movie vibes, even though it wasn't as scary as some of the other stuff I felt them trying.
00:40:57
Speaker
Yeah. I felt him trying for scares. I didn't at all. No, no,
Scene Analysis and Humorous Commentary
00:41:00
Speaker
it's not scary. It doesn't have the right atmosphere. But like the way his angles and the way things were being shot. And there's I don't know. It felt like I was watching a Friday, the 13th. Yeah. We don't even get to see the monster until what was it? One hour and seven minutes, you get a glimpse of it. Yeah. And one hour and 16 minutes, you get a look at it. Yeah.
00:41:18
Speaker
And they did a lot of work on that monster. I mean, it gets a minute and a half of screen time. We talked about how you filmed like you were embarrassed of it. Like other movies. We've seen much worse monsters on this goddamn podcast that got more screen time. Were they trying to do like a Jaws thing and be like, it's even more terrifying when you only get a glimpse? But the Jaws thing was out of necessity because that robot looked like shit.
00:41:39
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. But it ended up being forming this trope of like, which I mean, is a good thing is like most of the time it's like, don't show. But I feel like they just didn't go enough. Like, I understand you wait, you wait, you wait. Don't show it to us till um an hour 10 into this, you know, our 37 minute movie. Cool. yeah But then I want to see it a lot. Yeah. But.
00:42:00
Speaker
Yeah, so like they lose the drone and he's like, oh Van Gelder is gonna shit a kitten if we don't go down there and get this thing hold on man did you These two going off for like 10 minutes about shitting kittens I'm sitting in between. Oh, you mean us? yeah you met The two guys on the movie. yeah No, they said it once what a fucking phrase dude shat a cat like I'm shitting over here Wow but So they they detach from the tank treads.
00:42:36
Speaker
um that quink deep chat six They detach from the tank treads and they go after it. Detachable tank treads. This is the feed that I actually like going through. I didn't like the robot feed.
00:42:49
Speaker
the fat cop from friday the thirteenth is getting the heebie jeebies he doesn't like caves and they get like this sonar contact something coming at them real fast and this fucking hud every movie we've seen this month yeah where it's like it's an unbelievable speed yeah their take on sonar is fun yes that i like a little globe it's like an epcot center yeah it's the epcot center that like breathes kind of thing yeah instead of just that normal Circle with the green lines. Is that a flat 2d? It's a 3d counterclock. Yeah. Even though the way the dot moved was still just 2d, but sure they had that cool 3d thing. So it was supposed to be a little more interesting. Yeah. Like it's, it's not the best movie ever made. Obviously. I still love going back to these from the seventies and eighties and looking at technology. I mean, go back and watch that first alien movie. And it's like, they just assumed computers would never get better.
00:43:41
Speaker
Yeah, because this is like banks of like hard drives and big hard buttons and switch they they could not fathom. Well, Star Wars doesn't really ever show the technology of their computer. You do see lights and stuff, but they don't really show fucking the pew pew.
00:43:58
Speaker
the targeting system. For sure. For sure. Well, I think what they're saying is like that was missile command. It's fine. We we we couldn't imagine storage getting smaller. Look, Derek has more memory right here and these two. Yeah, those are two terabytes that it took us to get to the moon.
00:44:13
Speaker
Those are like there's there's more computing power right here on this recording studio than when we had to get our people to the moon on this little four by four table. It's insane to me. Yeah, it is. So there's more computing power than that in my fucking cell phone. Absolutely. With our three cell phones. Can we get to the moon? Yeah.
00:44:31
Speaker
As I take my pants down on moon, you guys, if this was a physical comedy podcast, you think you didn't bring your camera didn't even get to the moon. I don't think we can watch those. You have to. But in the comfy chair you're in, you'd have to like push it back and get out. I would turn and just hold on to this with my brother. And the whole chair just goes over. Hey, I died the way I lived trying to show my ass.
00:44:54
Speaker
There you go. We do get a redneck guy whose name is I've forgotten already. Oh, tell me. Oh, call. Call. Call. No. I just. Hodge. Hodge. He's like, look at the size of that thing. And that's the last thing we hear before they fucking disappear from this movie. He was looking at his copilot's dick. Oh, look at the size of that thing. You ain't going to put off. And then we get Collins and is it Collins and BJ? No, Collins and McCoy.
00:45:22
Speaker
Oh, it was the actor. There's no character. No, it's a. Yeah, but. It's the Russian. Oh. Burciaga is apparently the character name. Don't think we ever heard that. No, no. But Elias Baskin is the actor. It's Collins and him on the the ship that was like the home ship for the smaller ship. It's the smaller ship for the smaller ship. yeah So you have the big sea lab. Then you have a large ship and then you have the sea cat, which is the bulldozer. Yeah. And then apparently and another there's a Russian nesting. dog They called it. See something else. Scat. Deep Star six is a big one. Yeah. And then see scat and then see cat and then see scat run.
Film Comparisons with 'Sphere'
00:46:00
Speaker
Elias Baskin is the actor. And again, like I said, he's Spider-Man's landlord in the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movies. The third one right or he's in all of them to entry.
00:46:10
Speaker
When he knows he's out, he's out in the first 20. OK, OK. I haven't seen those in a long fucking time. He also pops up in Air Force One. No, not surprising. Yeah. He's got to get off that plane. I'm sure he's a good guy. Yeah, it sounds like it. There's no way he's working with Gary Oldman.
00:46:26
Speaker
But yeah, ah ro would you like me to adjust your seat before this ride? And something crashes into their ship and tries to push it into the cavern. It doesn't do that, but it does drop a suitcase, a large like pelican case on fucking. It's a it's a spider man's landlord futuristic steamer trunk. Yes.
00:46:48
Speaker
So Spider-Man's landlord has been crushed and can't feel his legs. He's knocked the fuck out. Sorry. We talked about this while watching. And I don't think we ever got an answer. We don't know what year this is supposed to take place. It could be 89. Just kind of technology it up. You know what I mean? If that makes sense, because it's the styles of the 80s. The the only thing it makes me think it's not 89 is we have a Russian guy. Well, and also no one's smoking a cigarette. Oh, like yeah. There's no smoking signs everywhere.
00:47:17
Speaker
But it's because it's pure oxygen. Again, going back to alien, putting him work, going back to alien. Those motherfuckers are smoking. Yeah, you get them. You show me a hair a movie where Harry Dean Stanton isn't smoking a cigarette. Yeah, because just watch down Periscope again because my cat loves it. Harry Dean Stanton smoking on that submarine. Maybe that's just him. He needs to smoke. Yeah. He's got cigarettes that don't combust. Did I tell you here you the original down Periscope?
00:47:43
Speaker
Because that's how I should lead with you. Yeah, you should. Anytime Harry Dean Stanton's in a movie, you tell me about a movie, I'm like, yeah, all right. We were talking about Santa Claus and Muscles, and I was like, oh, yeah, it sounds like a pretty shitty movie we should watch. But Terry Hulk Hogan went through the fucking actors. It's got Clint Howard. It's got Clint Howard.
00:47:58
Speaker
Yeah, that'll get me. yeah Terry Hulk Hogan as Santa will pull me in. Clint Howard will get there faster. it gets you there faster too And Harry Dean Stanton will s cinch everything faster than anything. We gotta have a move with Harry Dean Stanton and Clint Howard, right? That's gotta be. Have to.
00:48:15
Speaker
Have we had Harry Dean Stanton on the podcast yet? Yeah, I have to go back and think about it, but that'd be bizarre. One hundred and whatever. One hundred and twenty seven episodes of this one. Yikes. No Harry Dean Stanton. This is a second longest relationship.
00:48:30
Speaker
But so Spider-Man's little word gets crushed. BJ and the captain have to go down to try to save the ship. BJ and the captain is such a terrible 80s band. And they got they got a dad joke laugh out of me here, because BJ and the captain are doing all their systems checks. And he's like, check the oxygen, check the pressure, whatever. And he's like, a Henway check. What's a Henway? Yeah, about three to four pounds. I've used this joke many times. i had There was a young ah bagger girl at the fries I go to, and she was trying to get me with the up dog joke.
00:49:02
Speaker
She's like, check out the special on the updogs. And me being who I am, like, you ain't get me on a fucking updog. So I was like, oh, is that anything like the hen way? And she's like, oh, what's a hen way? Same thing. Three, four pounds. She was elated.
00:49:17
Speaker
Like Whitney mentioned, Spider-Man's Landlord can't feel his legs. You ain't got no legs. It's his delivery. the The reason I wrote this line down is his delivery. He's like, my legs. I can't move them. I'm like, all right. Oh, you should sound more concerned. Yeah. Just easy. Just easy peasy. And even she's like, I've seen worse. She's like.
00:49:40
Speaker
No, you haven't. That's French, but either way. I might have done French too. My legs. I cannot feel them. I cannot feel my legs. I am Russian. You know. How am I supposed to feel the splits if I can't feel my legs? I was like, are you JCVD playing Russian? like I cannot do splits if I cannot feel legs. I cannot feel my legs because they are out to each side of me right now. Well, if it was JCVD, he's definitely playing American. That's an American accent.
00:50:04
Speaker
So the the contact is now closing in on BJ and the captain. He left the bear behind and they realize like something's coming in fast. They shut off the lights. They slow down their speed and the thing loses them. So it's tracking things that are moving. Yeah. Well, because it's dude it's been fucking trapped.
00:50:23
Speaker
Yeah, forever cuz I don't know if we got to it. Somebody talks about there being liquid hot magma active like this cavern was created by magmas 100 years ago and it's possible life forms got trapped under here. This thing just wants to play. It's excited. They do mention at one point, is it a whale? And they're like, and it couldn't be this deep. but So like there's not supposed to be things this big. Right. But again, with the the magma. But nipples said that. Yes. There's new nipples. I said what I said that there's undiscovered life forms down there. We need to check it out. Holy shit. It's just like sphere dude. The fucking movie I hate. So much better than sphere. So much better. But it's this thing that doesn't know how to play. You know why it's so much better than sphere? 107 minutes. Yeah. Not 293 minutes or whatever. But side by side, dude, if I showed you a fucking cast list of these movies, you would just straight up be like, let's watch sphere. Yeah. Yeah. And you'd be wrong. Yeah. I'd be very wrong. Very wrong.
00:51:25
Speaker
You know, Dustin Hoffman is one of those famous people. But like when I start thinking about his movies, I'm like. What did he actually do? I can give you some dude like a graduate. I mean, the graduate marathon. Little big man. I know we I know we talked. You didn't see it. That it's amazing. Meet the fuckers. Meet the fuckers. Yeah. Rain man. Yeah. I just had one in my head that we Dick Tracy hook. Oh, he is in Dick Tracy. Hey, mumbles and dick. I mean, hook is maybe my favorite thing. Yeah. And that's the I think that's the most acting I've ever seen Dustin Hoffman. But I never saw. What is it? Midnight cowboy? Oh, what is the cowboy is a good one. I forgot about that. Kramer versus Kramer. Was that Dustin Hoffman?
00:52:05
Speaker
Yeah, that's Justin Hoffman Oh straw dogs straw dogs another good one Sam
Humorous Wrap-up and Explosive Choices
00:52:10
Speaker
Peckinpah 1971, but that's That's another like he's in good stuff. But a lot of times he's shit. We just do we forget Tootsie? Did we not say fucking? tot i don't think I've ever actually seen Tootsie. It's a thing that got him probably the most famous I thought the graduate the graduate. I mean the graduate launched him I bet you to his highest his highest grossing movie Well, Meet the Fox is probably as high as grossing movie, unfortunately. Judge for inflation. Yeah. Or just for inflation. So BJ and the captain show up. Spider-Man's landlord is dead. They go to rescue Collins. What a way to sum up a fucking movie. And this this is one of the best things I've ever seen it out of all these underwater movies we've watched.
00:52:50
Speaker
And we already talked about the sweaty workout scene. But underwater in space, I always have the same thought. There's always a hatch that closes if no one can open it. Oh, yeah. We saw it in in the abyss. The door closes. Multiple times. His titanium ring keeps it open. Yeah. Multiple times that that that happened. we they Like you couldn't open it at all because the power was out or on the fridge. Yeah. And there's no manual option. And it never made sense to me. I love this. This fucking has they have like they have to plug in like a thing to this gear and like crank this handle. And it's it's a big pain in the ass, but they can do it. It's like a Chuck key. It's like, yeah. for Yeah. Yeah. And they open this hatch and they're trying to get Collins in. I called it those like that hatches closing on him. Oh, you know, you know, the captain is sitting there with his arm through the thing and we were all waiting for his arm to get chopped off. right And we were half right. It was someone's legs.
00:53:37
Speaker
No, we said because he goes in, we see the gear the or the the but latch on the gear. We see the gear start to crack and they obviously they're not seeing it because they're worried about, you know, living and Collins gets through the hatch. BJ gets through the hatch and the captain goes to go back through the hatch and he started sliding through and we saw the gear crack. So that's what someone here was like.
00:53:59
Speaker
Oh, there go the legs instead of the arms. Oh, that's no, no, no. Mid torso. Yep. It hits him and he's just like, my back's broken. I guess that's one of the two times we thought legs and it was all torso. Yeah, we'll get to that. But yeah, the captain right away is like, dude, fucking save yourselves. hes He knows he's like, get the fuck out. Yeah. BJ is like, no, I can't. It's got to fall the figure to me.
00:54:22
Speaker
this captain ballsy ass moves like watch this hits a fucking button flood the cabin like get the fuck yeah because they're in like the airlock thing between their rescue ship and this ship yeah so it starts flooding with water and bj keeps trying to save him and when he's underwater that's what i was like It's Chris Pratt. Yeah. It looks a lot like Chris Pratt. He's a crispy rat. But like, yeah, he can't get him loose. And I mean, obviously the captain is dead at one point because his body's just like flailing around. He's trying. He's a wacky, wavy, inflatable arm flailing tube man. What is he advertising down there? Join the Navy. It's a fun adventure. Join the Navy. You are meant to die. um
00:55:06
Speaker
You're welcome. So BJ and Collins get back to their ship and close the door and he's all sad, but she's like, dude, what were you going to do? Yeah, there's nothing to do. Yeah, even if you could save him, he's half the man he used to be.
00:55:19
Speaker
And this is the part where I used to be. Can't leave me to sing, especially with the allergy stuff. Why not? That was awesome. That was amazing to cut, print, rap vinyl. I'm telling you right now on the post-production, I'm going to put some auto tune in there and fix it up. You got to paint it.
00:55:40
Speaker
But this is, so he, BJ's like a soaking sweat sweater, right? oh But takes it off and gives it to Carlos. He's like, oh, you look cold. Well, his sweater also looks and incredibly dry. Right. It's wool. he is His hair is wet. His arms are wet. His pants are wet. She's soaking wet. His sweater looks warm and cozy. Yeah, it does. So she's getting checked out by the doctor and the doctor's got this wicked ass ultrasound wand. And that's why I'm like,
00:56:05
Speaker
This might be futuristic. And I know we called her Connie, but that's ah like from son-in-law. It's the mom. It's it's Carla Gugino's mom. OK, I just want to make sure we know who that is. She looks so ratchet here. I'm sorry, dude. Like she's not a terrible looking chick, but that hair is not doing it for her. It's not doing it for anybody. It's feathered and teased red mullet. No. Go fuck yourself. Thank you. You just said it was doing it for Hector when we recorded the other thing. Hector's is in feathered and teased and red. It's not red. It's thick, luxurious and Chicana early. OK.
00:56:42
Speaker
He's got a great mullet. Dude, if you can get, I'm sorry, hold on. If you can get a fucking mullet like Hector's, you do it. You owe it to society. I love you, Hector. I don't love mullets. I do. I played hockey for a long time. There's one mullet I love, and that's JCVD's fake mullet from Hard Target. That's what Hector's looks like in real life. Hector, here's what you do. You get a JCVD mullet.
00:57:06
Speaker
He has it. He's got to shorten it and get the spiky shit going on. He does have the spike. He's got to come in and insult your gumbo. See him without a hat. He's got to put a lot more gel in there. How is the pint of oat and rye? A tragedy. What do they call you? Why do they call you Chance? They don't. Oh, you didn't finish that joke.
00:57:25
Speaker
Um, so we hear heartbeats and then BJ's like, um, what the fuck was that? That's our baby's heartbeat. I thought they're going to cover it up. Like the doctor and her gave a look and then she was like, that's our baby's heartbeat. That is also PS the worst way to tell someone that you're pregnant. Uh-huh. Like, Hey, we're in this life threatening situation. That's our baby's heartbeat. He could just be like, Hey, let's take a moment alone. Let me talk to you about something. yeah They don't have time. They're on the timeline. It's ah all about the time. i'm um told how Women's body work. That's your period. You're hearing the heartbeat of her period because that's what it gets. And as soon as the guy hears, as soon as the guy hears period, though, he's like out of the room. like well they what Blood's involved heartbeat makes sense. I'll be in the kitchen having coffee.
00:58:07
Speaker
You let me know when you're done with your lady parts. Is the womb still there? And we didn't mention earlier, but Miguel Ferrero was like he's for air. Well, he's was like he's telling the doctor. He's like, you've got to figure out a way to get me topside. I've been down here too long. Supposed to be here four months and now it's like six more or something like that.
00:58:25
Speaker
And so here they find out like the decompression thing is postponed until they can ah recover the missiles and do whatever they need to do with these here. I'm sure. Yeah. And so he's not happy about it, but he goes to do what he's told to do to be taps on the computer soldier.
00:58:42
Speaker
And he's like, Hey, uh, things were compromised or whatever. or What do we do if we need to abandon the missiles? I think it's something, something like that. He says to the computer, he' like is it aggressive or is it natural? Well, but he, yeah, he has the computers about abandoning it. And that's when it's like, are you abandoning it because of.
00:58:58
Speaker
something aggression or natural force. Yeah, natural forces, aggression or what the fuck ah maintenance, some shit like that. I don't remember because it doesn't come up because he calls doctors, Collins and the doctor and he's like, so is this was this thing a natural force or was it aggressive?
00:59:19
Speaker
They're like, well, it was i mean I guess it was aggressive. So he types in aggression. It was an aggressive natural force. I don't know. Yeah. You know what you don't do when you're dealing with a military computer and missiles are involved? Don't say you have to abandon your weapon because of aggression.
00:59:31
Speaker
because this is what happens. Uh, choice C, or sorry, D, boredom. Just we're abandoning because we are just, we're kind of over this. I want to go up, so I want to go up. I want to get a burger and a blowjob. I've been down here this whole fucking, doesn't it though? I've just been up here this whole time and just, or down here this whole time. I'm, I'm, I'm kind of over this. It's not you, it's me. I'd like to see other missiles.
00:59:56
Speaker
But the computer tells him, like, well, the solution for this is
Chaos and Critique of Acting
00:59:59
Speaker
detonate the missiles. So he's like, oh, computer said it. I believe any blappity blue. The missiles explode. And it's like 40 kiloton explosion, something, something. Did we mention that Fander Beast wanted to? He was like, hey, do you need help with this Skylar? What was his name? Sikes Snyder Snyder. Do you need help with the Snyder or can you do it yourself? Gail Ferrer is. Yeah, Miguel Ferrer is. All right. So Miguel, like so.
01:00:26
Speaker
Yeah. Do you need help with this? He's like, I fucking got it, dude. And ah you know what? I did not have it. He does lose his shit and he does get people give him a hard time. He did what he was told. He did. They said go do the thing. He did be tapped on the computer. The computer said blow up the missile. He called for help blew up the missiles. He called for help, dude. He was like, look, I got three options. Which one's a good one?
01:00:48
Speaker
Yeah. And they were like, leave us alone. We're in this weird dark room. Yeah. Yeah. it's the Yeah, they were. It's black, except for a fucking ah cell phone camera light. ah But yeah, so it's like, well, what what happens when you displace water with 40 kiloton explosion? ah Concussion wave force 20. Yeah, that's something. say No, I'm not a fucking scientist.
01:01:10
Speaker
But yeah, so they all hold on that the fucking place gets rocked. It's not even good ah acting as far as like the play shifting. It looks like us trying to fucking get up and get a beer after like 15. I was thinking it looks an awful awful lot like Star Trek, the original series. Uh huh. Right yourselves. Yeah. Like they would just move the computer and everybody would be like, who whoa, wacky legs. Well, at least the first season, they probably got better.
01:01:34
Speaker
No, I don't think so. Okay. I've only watched the first season. It's below them. Well, getting better at acting. Yes. Yeah. Except for letter Nimoy. If you watch William Shatner's career progression, it is below him to get William Catner. And I am going to make a video. I'm going to William Shatner. William Shatner with a cat face. I'm going to William Shatner a catner.
01:01:57
Speaker
Well, it's funny because I was saying Shatner like a joke and then I realized that was his name. That's it. Yeah. Hey, that's funny. Shatner. Get it? Shatner. It's not a joke. It's his last name.
Decompression Chamber Malfunctions
01:02:08
Speaker
No, no, no, no. Shatner. But the the lines for the decompression chamber are fucked up so they can't decompress so they can't leave. The only air left in the thing is the ambient air they have. So they have four hours for that.
01:02:22
Speaker
And the reactor is about to go super critical in two hours, eight hours. I think it said eight hours. Oh, they had more time for the reactor. I know that much. OK. Yeah. And it was like. So again, we're right back to almost every other movie we've watched this month. Other than water. You have it. You have a clicking timeline. Yeah. And I mean, it's a good you've got a clock. Yeah, you've got to have the ticking clock. Right. It helps to move things forward.
01:02:45
Speaker
30 minutes or it's free, bro. But this is where I like I yelled that thing at the beginning that made so no sense to anyone. I wrote it down because it was just funny. They say it like it's something we should understand, but he's like, we have to reroute BZN 17 to RTX 56 to fix the Greek decompression chamber. You know what, dude, do it in Rook five to night four. Checkmate, bitch.
01:03:08
Speaker
So Richardson, I don't know that somebody out there that knows chess is like, what the fuck did he just say? That is not. That's not. That's not. That's not how rooks move iss dumb. great You can't even rook four to nine five. I don't know. Whatever you just said. I don't know. I don't know anything. No, it wouldn't be. fine I know very little about chess. Not and not nothing. Life is a lot like chess. I know that the Knights don't and know how to play chess. I think it's letters and numbers. Yeah. Most things are L7 weenie. Yep.
01:03:36
Speaker
But so i I may have missed something in here, but for some reason, instead of just doing the thing right in the main room that BJ ends up doing later, they put Richardson in a diving suit to go do it.
01:03:48
Speaker
Yeah, because it was out. it was We did chat a bit little bit during this part, but I think we missed something. He was supposed to go fix the DXR 713. Maybe he did. He just ends up doing it from inside the chamber later. Maybe he did do his part, but the inside didn't do their part. Oh, maybe. Because as soon as he goes out... Because Ferreira gives BJ shit. You should have finished it. Yes. He's like, we do we don't have the tube on because of you.
01:04:11
Speaker
Oh, OK. So I'm thinking he did finish it. But either way, he gets put in this. I'm sorry. I am not claustrophobic, but I guess I am to a degree. This suit looks terrifying. Terror unlocked? Just enough. It tear unlocks, dude. yeah I mean, look, look at the room only. Do you know what it reminds me of? Did you ever watch like the locust crawl out of their like their little people? What's it called? Well, chrysalis.
01:04:39
Speaker
Yeah, whatever and there are these like little clawed things that come out and then they hit connect to a wall and then they Cocoon out of them. Okay, so chrysalis. I think that's what you're trying to think of that's i say chris what says oh ah she'll hear theyre goy i will But that's what the the way this armor is shaped because they're like hunched over and it's like yeah It's an old school diving suit with like the heavy because it's a heavy pressure situation. It looks metal. Bioshock. Bioshock. Thank you. Yeah, you play Bioshock with Big Daddy. Yeah. Yeah. And it's but it's it's just. Adam Sandler. You guys all. If you're listening on a platform that has like the custom pictures that I put up for the episode, you'll see it because it's the poster of the movie. Yeah. Yeah. And it's based on a well, you actually, you said it. You had said it like it's based on those old diving suits, but it's a better, more realistic version of the abyss because the abyss has these sleek, sexy ones. Yeah, they have like the astronaut one. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So they can have the lights on their face on. But this isn't really a scene like they don't really. They show them getting in it and going underwater and then coming back out. You pretty much called it when you said it's like ah men of honor. No, men of honor. Men of honor. Yeah. Old school. Yeah. Old school diving suit.
01:05:53
Speaker
Just pressurize more. Where there's somebody blowing into your ear. Oh god, did you drink this morning Scott? Good god! I had Scott. Isn't that rumplemins? What is wrong with you? It smells like cinnamon in here. It's hot rumplemins! I wanted you to have fresh breath, okay?
01:06:09
Speaker
Wait, reblements is peppermint peppermint. Yeah, it smells like something. It smells like something that shouldn't be out. Is that gold slogger? There's gold flakes floating around my fucking helmet now. Scott, go to bed. It's somebody else on the rope. Dude, you've been partying. OK, sure. On board. You were so close to sure. See, I love that. That's whoever this guy diving guy is. That's what he sounds like. I don't sound like that. This guy does, though. Yes, over here breathing and rumbling in my god fucking your fucking school a tank. It's all you did as in what we needed.
01:06:47
Speaker
Give your tether a tub. Damn it. Damn it. And I said tub and fucked it all up. Give your tether a tub. Oh, oh, no. I mean, I'm on catchphrase. But it's like Richardson goes in. Something happens. He flips the fuck out. They're going to pull him out of the water and he's saying don't. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. I think. No, I think he's. No, he was screaming saying, pull me out. Get me out. Everyone's like, calm down. We're getting you out, dude. What's he doing now? So I think BJ is like, there's something in the airlock. Oh, he's freaking the fuck out. Hold this dude up, though, and his bottom half is gone. And again, I thought it was going to be just legs. Yeah, but it's like above the belly button. Yeah, it's just goop
Introduction of the Monster and Survival Debate
01:07:30
Speaker
hanging out of him. Oh, dude, that was a gorgeous blood scene. It was a good sticky goops.
01:07:34
Speaker
I liked it. And this is where we get our first glimpse of the monster an hour, seven minutes in, and it like kind of pops out and goes back in the water. And then we get like the tail and then we get the trash compactor view of him. Oh, yeah. The day noga, the star star. Yes. For people who don't know what I meant, the Star Wars trash compactor, where you just get the little the hunch of the lizard that comes out. In that case, it's like a snake but a lizard. It's a dino.
01:07:58
Speaker
Yeah, it's a snake. It's not a lizard. Well, but this thing's I guess this is more of a crab. No lobster. Whatever lobster crab. You tell me that he walks. Oh, besides like twenty dollars a pound. I was like, hold on. He walks forward and not sideways.
01:08:15
Speaker
Yeah, he's more of that livery little head is more of a crab head, though. I guess I don't think this is reminiscent of anything, dude. It's an alien. Yeah, it's a weird way. I loved it. It was going to be based on kind of something really like a mutated version of because like the mandibles open sideways and up and down. It was like a predator, kind of like ah the faculty, except it doesn't have to open its own mouth with its hands. Yeah, I use my fingers to pry my lips open because my mouth is so dry.
01:08:45
Speaker
But yeah, he ain't got no legs. um And then Pia Neeples gets killed too. Just so unceremoniously. Yeah. so Like she just gets whipped into the water by like one of these stray fucking flailing tentacles. She gets whipped in and then just red blood. But yeah.
01:09:02
Speaker
Yeah, i mean first of all, we talk about this. What's this rated, by the way? R. Oh, God damn it. Show me. Yeah. Like, if it's rated R, I want to see ah at least, like, have parts of her body float up to the water. Yeah, please. Something. Please. You know, you're gonna tell me you couldn't afford it. Also, why didn't we have boobs?
01:09:19
Speaker
ah You know what? I'm OK with it not having boobs. I'm always going to prefer it with boobs. We had a naked shower. There was that moment in the shower scene where she was showering and it was the front shot of her and the camera is like zooming outward. I was like, and yeah Here it comes. They spent an extra seventy five grand for NURBS, dude. She's like, I'll do it. Seventy five grand right now. They're like, Oh, my boobs for 75 grand. shit Especially 89, 89, 75 grand. What's that turn into? Like one point two. Four point eight million. Yeah, I think no. You're basically going to be able to buy Twitter back.
01:09:49
Speaker
If you can show your boobs now with 89 money. For $75,000 and 89 money, you can buy Elon Musk. Yeah. and don't I already have an autistic husband. I don't need another one.
01:10:02
Speaker
Yeah, but you don't have a guy running around screaming about killing pedophiles. Is that pedophile? I mean, I feel like we were screaming about killing pedophiles last week. Pedophile! I mean, we do often scream about that. Death to pedophiles. That was last week. That was a little while ago. I'm pretty sure it was last week. That was on Clash of the Titans. It was last month. Months ago.
01:10:26
Speaker
Pet the file. I go home and I open my filing cabinet, I start petting it. I pet my files. But there's a short confrontation between BJ and Miguel Ferrer. Basically, because Miguel Ferrer, like you said, he's like, if you would have done your job, none of this would have happened. And he's like, well, if you would have not blown everything up, none of this would have happened. Oh, we also. Sorry, we talked about we didn't talk about they grabbed weapons.
01:10:51
Speaker
Oh, you get that. What is that? That folded? It's a full stock. It's ah just a ah for whatever reason underwater seawater corrosion. We have these chrome shotguns because they look. i Sure. And then for stainless steel and nitrous spears, CO2 spear, CO2 spear sharks. They call them shark spears later. We didn't know that. I said it was for killing sharks. Well, you absolutely called it.
01:11:17
Speaker
Yeah, because I was like, so it's a spear that you jab into something. It's got a CO2 cartridge and it blows it up. Yeah. Like inflates it. And I was like, and the practical application for this in your underwater diving or oil rig is question mark. So your wife was right. It's a shark thing, but still to me, it doesn't make sense because you.
01:11:34
Speaker
Underwater pirates, man. Underwater pirates and sharks? Yeah. Underwater pirates and sharks are two completely different things. No, no, no. It's the Navy. You're really understanding her. It's like the street sharks, right? Except for they are also pirates now. You can't snap underwater, dude. No, not those kinds of sharks. The ones from the cartoon, Street Sharks. They're anthropomorphic sharks, but now they are also underwater pirates.
01:12:02
Speaker
It's ridiculous to think like we have these shark ah repellent spears. You also need a suit of armor to go in the water right now. Yeah. Imagine there's no sharks down here. Imagine putting on that suit and then trying to maneuver fast enough to stab a shark with a CO2. They said there is no life down here because they were that deep. Yeah. So I mean, like it doesn't make sense to have the shark spears here. We don't know. I don't know. onces while every Every once in a while someone swims up a couple hundred feet and stabs a shark, brings it down for stew. Yeah, there we go. Shark stew is a real good dish, dude. I heard it's a finished dish. Oh.
01:12:38
Speaker
So BJ patches the bypass to a something or whatever. Now they have what they need to be what they do. But they're all in the room that's flooded that had the monster in it. And so they're all on edge. They start shooting at lights, much like almost heroes. It's called something in his hands. Dr. Van Steam is the first one to shoot and he's just like,
01:13:02
Speaker
Bam, and then just no questions. and Everybody just shoots right there. I got nervous for BJ because when he popped up, the fucking doc was all just come on. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Little fucking muzzle awareness doc. And then there's like a noise that freaks them out. And Miguel Frere puts his spear up.
01:13:17
Speaker
Uh, Vander splocking back into it. And this just Vander's floating now. His heart and Vander heart pop. I don't got I got nothing. food This is disgusting. It was gorgeous. like He gets poked with it and everybody's like, everybody looks like, oh, nothing happens right away. And then it's and then it's left side of his chest. she be okay Oh, nope. And then just blur. Blur. Blur indeed, my friend. That was a hefty blur thing. Yes, it was.
01:13:48
Speaker
And then we see the now we finally see the full monster hour 16. Roar. Miguel, they they get away from it. Well, Miguel Frere has a freak out. First off, he pulls a Benny from Mummy where he leaves everybody behind and locks the door. Well, not not yet. yet Oh, that part. Yeah. No, he does leave and lock the door. Oh, Collins is with the doctor. The doctor's like, what are you fucking doing? Let him in, you cunt. But he starts freaking out and he's just like, I know you guys are blaming me for killing Vander Spragen. I didn't kill my wife. And I know you did.
01:14:15
Speaker
I don't think I killed my wife. I didn't. And they're all like, we know it wasn't your fault. We saw what happened. He's like, no, you're blaming me. It did it out, flipping out. So they drug him. Yeah. And he gets a really good. He calms down on him, but starts hallucinating and sees all the horrors of the film. He sees Van Spigen talking to him. He sees the bloody half of a man from Seinfeld hanging out of a suit. He sees shit exploding like he's like he keeps seeing the missile Countdown or like yeah questionnaire and they keep saying like we can't go to the we need to decompress. He's got seasickness Michael Yeah, he just doesn't have the fucking tremors space madness, but in the ocean get them out to the water. He's got crazy eye But yeah, so he jumps in the escape pod
01:15:08
Speaker
Excuse you. Oh my God. Something jumped out of your escape pod right now. hold a wi It didn't decompress. It just went straight up the top and exploded. After his visions, he flips out. He jumps into the escape pod without decompressing. They're yelling at him. They're like, hey, don't fucking do that. That's why he's's how we know he has space badness because like he knows he said it before we can't do it because we'll all die. Yeah. And then he's like, well, I got to go. I have to go. I have to go. So he jumps in the pod, launches it up.
01:15:34
Speaker
And we almost get what I was hoping for. Of course, they cut away at the at the money shot. Yeah. But again, it's a budgetary thing. But we do shoot we do shoot back and forth for a couple of times. So one scene like a little blood from the nose. The next scene, his arms his arms kind of blow. That's my favorite part is the blood just coming out of his arm. Yeah.
01:15:52
Speaker
There's something I'm trying to think of, and it's another decompression thing. It's probably something in the CO2 building up in your body, but there's something a movie I'm thinking of where like the veins pop up. Maybe it's scanners. I don't know something. The veins like pop up and blood just starts spurting out and stuff. And it's kind of like that, except they don't have the veins popping up, but it is just blood spurting out of the surface of his.
01:16:11
Speaker
And then another time it comes back, it's like blood pouring out of his ears. Yeah. And I think that's where we get like a pimple pop in the back of the head. And it's just like it's until they cut away. It's fun as fuck. Well, and even when they do, they cut away and it's just blood spatter across the side of the escape pod. So we don't see the scanners as head pop, but we do see the after effects at least. Yeah.
01:16:32
Speaker
And I'll take it. The only note I took was explosive decompression indeed. And yeah because because about the warning screen is flashing like warning, explosive decompression. I'm like, you are correct. You have no idea, computer. You're about to be soppy. But so they're all locked in a room because the now the command center is flooding. So when the escape pod launched, it let all this water in.
01:16:53
Speaker
And BJ is like, hey, I'll swim across the escape, the the command center and get the fucking whatever DSR. Submersible. Whatever he calls it. Because now we just have Collins BJ and the doctor. con And 40 seconds after he leaves, Dr. BJ Collins here, they hear a clang on the outer like airlock and they're like, oh, must be him. He must be stuck. Open it.
01:17:18
Speaker
Even though he comes from when he does get there, he comes from another side from within the decompression. His whole thing was parking up to a decompression chamber. You dumb idiots. Because, yeah, it's the idiots, the place starts to fly. I got it. And I think it's fantastic. The place has to flood. They get it closed. But it's like, OK, well, we know what came in with the water. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Right. It's it's the more I swear you can see the tail at one point when it comes in. They might show it. I didn't catch it, but I didn't see it. statement wrong I just didn't catch it. But I like the doc. She's like,
01:17:49
Speaker
There's something in here with us. Don't talk. You're talking. Don't move. You're you're moving. But like BJ's in the decompression chamber. It takes 30 seconds to unlock. Pregnant Collins is waiting outside and other Collins. No, it's Connie. That's why I got confused. I was like, it's two two Collinses. Yeah, Connie and a Collins. Yeah, just pregnant Collins is great. Yeah. What a fucking phenomenal cocktail.
01:18:16
Speaker
Tom Collins make it a pregnant Collins. It's like a to pal it's like a Tom Collins with Sam. ah You but just float a quail egg on top of it. I was going salmon row because we're doing underwater. I don't know. But so so Collins is by the decompression door.
01:18:30
Speaker
uh the doctor's on the other side of the chamber the thing comes up and it's all full like flailing arms and flapping jaws and all this stuff ah so she gets a defibrillator well first she turns on like the exam light oh yeah to get its attention pulls out the defibrillator fucking the door finally opens uh collins gets in there and she's got uh take this you sack of fish shit bam which never seems fish shit in a sack but i'll take it electric you had out of this thing yeah you might my brother know actually opened a fishy farm and if you weren't trying something tough you try bagging fish shit slippery ass combia it's also so stringy i never thought i had an easy job until i went to the fishy farm Big shit farming's easy, I'll tell you. Just how many fish you would have to have to get enough fish shit to harvest? 746,000. Oh, exactly. Trust me. Otherwise, it just ain't worth it. Minimum, minimum 746,000. It is a big fish. But so she dies. Oh.
01:19:38
Speaker
The creature looks like it dies. It sinks underwater. There's no way we're going to see it again. No, no. Especially the guy that did Friday the 13th. Yeah, it's done. There's never a final scare. Right. Done. So they decompress. I did laugh, though. I did laugh, though, because they they're like they're showing you that it, quote, died by it like falling under the water. And I'm like, it's a crab monster. Yeah, that's that's where they live. When they had a decompression chamber, maybe like the new age in me was like, oh, it's just a place you like sit after work and after traumas and talk it out. I don't know. Do you compress before you go to the surface? Yes. OK. Can I tell you that like Scarpelli was really annoying me today. I mean, she's just so hot and I'm jealous of her. I just wish I was her. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You just trauma dump until you get to the surface. I'm pretty sure that's just like if if you are if any of us got our shifty
01:20:26
Speaker
And the bar was still open and it just went in the office to drink it. I might start doing that. Is that an option? Yes. We got to go on the walk in where it's cold and silent and just sit in there like decompression. I've done that also. Thousand yard stare at a fucking box of beer. just
01:20:43
Speaker
Hey, people that are in the service industry, you you may not know how much it actually takes out of us. And when you see your bartender having a shift, you just let it be. We love it. But so, yeah, Collins and the BJ j and the Collins. So you have a Collins and then you get a BJ. I like that more than the pregnant Collins. They decompress. There's only eight minutes left until the reactor goes super nuclear or whatever.
01:21:10
Speaker
They do get away. Computers start singing. in Danger voltage. This is the end of sphere. It didn't happen in a best, but it's definitely the end of sphere. They're getting away from the thing and it explodes and there's the shock might be Leviathan, too. I can't remember if we've already recorded it already. Oh, we already told everybody. I know. I know.
01:21:30
Speaker
But they get to the surface. They send out the lifeboat. They're like, let's get the fuck out of this really safe metal container and get onto this floating rubber thing. And you had a point that I did because that was my point was like, let's get on this stupid raft. You had a better point. Stay the fuck out of the sun. Well, stay in this little submersible. That's how people die when they're lost at sea dehydration and so overexposure. Uh huh.
01:21:54
Speaker
So when they were when they got hit by the blast, like the shockwave or whatever, he's like, I'm going to drop drop the pump airs or whatever. And she's like, how are we going to float without them? He's like, we have a flotation device. So the tank is going to so drop. I guess I thought when he said dropping the tanks, I assumed it was fuel. OK, well, the boat is connected to the submarine. So put out the boat. Wait till the ship starts thinking.
01:22:17
Speaker
Yep, because the top half of this thing was well above the water. Yeah, I agree. And I just want to avoid the sun always because you know what happens right now. We get the end of Friday the 13th again. We get fucking mutant crab Jason jumping out of the water. and Almost exactly the same, too. It's like it's the up and like arch over and grab the exact shot for sure.
01:22:38
Speaker
and tries to grab ah Collins. BJ starts fighting him. He opens up the fuel, blows the fuel tank. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Whitney, I was going to compliment Whitney an hour into this movie when or so when they were like, oh, shit, this thing's going critical. What do we do? Whitney gave a very me answer and she's like fucking partied up and wait till that thing explodes. Take this thing out with you. Yep. Just like relegate yourself to death. He'd be like, well, I'm bettering humanity. It's all fuck.
01:23:08
Speaker
This is the biggest version of pulling the pin on your own vest. Yeah. So I like that this guy's about to do the same thing because Whitney had it earlier. but You get the thing into the station and you just lock the door on me because that thing doesn't have hands. It has mandibles. It's good for claws claws. Mandibles is the mouth claw mouth. Yep. Just like that. Yeah. You guys can see it. I really do have video for that. But he uses a flare gun to light the fuel on fire. Collins is like, no. Oh, I love you, BJ. And he's like, I love BJs too. Fucking whole thing goes up. It's most likely your baby. It's really Richard's. It could be Van Boudersmith. It might be the captain's. It could be the captain's. We'll find out when he's born. Oh, we didn't mention captain was black, but he was what, the fourth to die.
01:23:57
Speaker
Yeah, not the first. Mm. Love it. Anyways, big ups to this movie. Yeah, without following all the tropes. They killed the Russian before they killed the black guy. I love it. The whole thing blows up. She thinks she's alone on this raft. I think I'm alone now. BJ comes out of the water. Doesn't seem to be a crab monster around. And they float on that thing until they die shortly because there's no kind of tracking device. Like the end. Dude, your wife has the best question because they are paddling. She's like, where are they going?
01:24:23
Speaker
How do you know its way to go? Valid point. Myself, I'm gonna go with the wind until it changes. I mean, you can navigate the stars at night. I don't know what you're doing. well Yeah. But I mean, I guess they do know precisely where their station was. And they're like, all right, well, the sun's over here and it looks like it's setting. So that's the West. Right. Yeah. I mean, they probably know the time of day. yeah Yeah. I guess I just forget what it's like. Well, then the sun goes down and you've got eight to 10 hours of just paddling and hoping you're still going in the same direction. Right. And you follow the North Star or go away from it. I don't know. But that's the end of the movie. So we'll go around the horn for recommendations. Life. No. No. No. And then into that sentence. I mean, I watched it with you guys. There were some really fun parts. It was just it was lackluster of some shit. OK. Yeah, that's fair. I accept that answer.
01:25:18
Speaker
I disagree with it. I recommend it, especially for a one-time watch. like This is not going to be on my repeat list, but I had a really good time. Derek was right to watch this, not alone. Correct. um A lot of the the special effects were really fun. We talked about the exploding decompression thing, ah the half fucking body thing. I liked a lot of that.
01:25:39
Speaker
It's, it is slow to start. They did blow the submarine up too. That's true. The one that went to the surface. That's true. It's a real explosion. Yeah, where did that- Fire on the water. Where did Miguel's capsule go? Oh, that thing got- It's nearby just floating. No, only he exploded. Oh, no, I know what I'm saying. That's just a floating blood palace.
01:25:58
Speaker
yeah But yeah, no, I recommend it. I thought I thought it was really fun. A little slow at first, but then once we get going, we are going. Yeah, I feel like we are going at a good enough pace. I like the monster. I liked the acting is fine. I mean, we're we're on a bad movie podcast. I wouldn't recommend this to people that aren't listening. I'm not calling my fucking mom to tell her that she's got to watch this shit. But yeah, friends of the podcast will like this.
01:26:20
Speaker
Yeah, if you like the movies, it's fun. It's definitely the worst of the movies. OK. Not the worst of the movies. Not the worst of the movies we did this month. Empire. I will watch this again before I watch. I've watched this before I watch. You're right. You're right. I'm wrong. Sphere is the worst. Sphere is worse. But out of the actual like movies that were movies. Not a fucking play.
01:26:45
Speaker
This one, I think, is it's the lowest of like what are you talking like? The OK of the 1989 ones, at least. Right. Waterworld Leviathan in this. Not Waterworld. I was like, I was like, yeah. um This is the worst of those. And it's it shows. And I mean, that's what that that was their goal. Let's make the quick, cheap, low budget version of what these guys are doing. I still get it out before they get theirs out.
01:27:08
Speaker
I just I wanted more of this monster. I wanted. That's my biggest complaint. I want more monster. I want better deaths. But we got good deaths for what the budget was. Yeah, I think most of I think everybody did a pretty good job on acting. I don't think there were any really like sore thumb bad actors. There were Hodges or whatever his name is.
01:27:26
Speaker
who was wearing like a trucker cap and had like the beard with no mustache so he was looking like he was supposed to be southern which was like his kind of accent yeah but his face said like i'm from new york yes from fucking boston or whatever it didn't it definitely didn't and he was not the best but he also was in the movie him and and fat cop were the shortest lived yeah they were No, it's actually a really good point. No one was a sore thumb. It's not fucking winning awards for its acting. It wasn't like Whitney's favorite movie, Miami Connection. i't will I what she's doing here. I don't know. And um yeah, it's a soft recommend, but it's a recommend if you like.
01:28:08
Speaker
Shitty movies. I'm recommended to our listeners. Yeah, if you I mean and and even if you listen to this It doesn't necessarily mean you like shitty movies Maybe you just like to laugh at shitty movies like you laugh to like laugh at other people tell you about how shitty they are i think Listening to us describe it is all you need. Yes, that's a fair as possible. It's fair. and I mean if it becomes streaming You're allowed to have your own opinion even if it's wrong. If it becomes streaming on a subscription that you have, like if it becomes streaming on Prime, which seems the most likely, or even like a Tubi or something, it might be worth it. Yeah. It's only 107 minutes, so on Tubi, you're going to add in some commercials, but you're still not going to break two hours. You're fine. So you're in and out. Yeah, I think it's a soft recommend. That's all right. All right. Well, happy end of drown, Newberry.
01:28:46
Speaker
Yeah, we all survived. Heads up. Let's let's fucking breathe some air. I don't even have blood out of my eyes yet. Oh, here's hoping we survive our crews. so We don't have like a Leviathan sea monster. are You guys doing that, Dejuery? Yeah. Yes. During Made in Arizona month, we will be leaving Arizona, but the podcast will be staying here in the country. and So all right. Look, listeners, even if these two die, as long as Derek has um edited all release these episodes. You'll at least have episodes to the beginning of March. Sweet. So next month, February is our maiden Arizona month, which we started doing last year because it is Arizona's birthday, February 14th. There's nothing else that happens that day that I can think of.
01:29:32
Speaker
February 14th. Nothing else. Oh, my grandpa, my grandfather's birthday. Oh, okay, cool, cool. Happy birthday, grandpa. yeah Well, he's dead. He can't hear you. but was oph That was Opa. Alright, I knew it was one of them names. But it's the first week of main Arizona month, so we will be discussing a Nicolas Cage film. Oh, so it is Firebirds, which is basically Nicolas Cage doing Top Gun, but with helicopters and less actual helicoptering than there's planes and Top Gun and more Nicolas Cage playing on a flight simulator. Also, Tommy Lee Jones, though. Oh, so give me some of that. You know what? I can sanction that buffoonery. So that's what we will be discussing next week.
01:30:17
Speaker
Maybe it's awesome. I think it is. I watched it recently, but it's why we were drinking a lot of beer. Yeah. And don't forget to check out our Patreon at patreon dot.com slash worst people. It's only three dollars a month. Three dollars a month. Three dollars. Wow. That's less than a bottle of water these days. It's sad, but true. And this month's episode, as we mentioned during this, is The Abyss. James Cameron's The Abyss with Ed Harris and A bunch of other cute people. Uh, Michael Bean. Michael Bean. Maid Marian. Yup,
01:30:55
Speaker
Maid Marian. You got Johnny, uh, Johnny. Johnny Ringo, Michael Bean. Johnny Ringo from Tombstone. You got Lady, uh, Maid and Marian. Yeah, Maid and Marian because her mom's name is Marian and she was made inside of her.
01:31:07
Speaker
You got catfish, they used to call this the hammer, points at fist. Fuck, I'd love me some catfish. Plus it's James Cameron. And I mean, to say what you will about the Avatar movies and stuff, but James Cameron from Terminator to True Lies was just fucking banging him out. Dude, True Lies is so fucking good. um yeah And forgive me if I'm wrong, but we got video for that.
01:31:28
Speaker
Get on the video for that. Some video. There will be a video up there for you folks. And also you have your first Patreon exclusive episode of latch key vids coming out this month, which will be episode two of Cop Rock, titled Ill Gotten Gains.
01:31:45
Speaker
We are closer and closer to the baby merchant. And I have watched this episode. My esteemed co-hosts have not. I didn't think I was. And I can tell you it starts with a funeral for the guy that died in that first one and his partner, ah whose name just case me right now, goes up to give a eulogy and sings it. Of course, he sings. Yes.
01:32:13
Speaker
It starts. It kicks off. It kicks off with him going up to sing this. And right before he starts, a dude just comes out of nowhere playing a saxophone. Oh, so tune in for that. Yes. It is wonderful stuff. Yeah. And of course, we have to thank Evasion for providing our opening and closing music. Thank you, boys. That's it for Drownewary. I've been Derek. I'm still married to him, guys. I'm black. Good night and don't forget to decompress.
01:32:43
Speaker
yeah and Barf!
01:33:12
Speaker
But she was in.
01:33:16
Speaker
She needs some more cocaine. And he just did a fucking bump of oxygen. That's what I was telling her earlier when I was walking around. I was like, I feel like I've been doing cocaine all day, except for I don't feel like I've been doing cocaine. No energy. And I'm not having a good time. My nose is cocaine. My brain did not. I have no energy. I'm not having a good time. I don't hate myself. So I did not write a script for kick ass for.
01:33:40
Speaker
I don't even think they made it to three. My coke ass brain just skipped three. It was like, I'm gonna kick ass four, man, yeah! I'm future-proofing.